Second Chance, a new choice
by moonbird
Summary: Severus was dying in the shrieking shack, and he did indeed die. However, forces out of his control rendered him the ability to re-choose. going back and choose differently.
1. Choose to go back

_As a writer, and a creator of things in general I suppose, you suddenly discover stuff can only be truly good if you write from your heart, and in doing so, put a little bit of your soul into it. You own personal memories and experiences, your emotions, your heart..  
_

_This is the first story I ever wrote where I fully realised I made it the best I could, even though I had been writing for years, it was the first time I felt it, the first time I grew as much as I did, I put heart and soul into it, and in return, I know that it's the best thing I have ever written thus far. I grew as a writer and a person, merely by writing this story. I cried and I laughed at my own words, now I look back at my own work, and is genuinely proud, it was a journey and a experience, and for only that it was worth it, that I will continue growing as a writer and writer better and bigger stories in the future is an added side bonus. But what truly made this journey so spectacular, even possible, because I would not have gotten this far if it weren't true, If I didn't knew that people out there can have read and enjoyed my work, supported me so much through reviews and pads on the shoulder, that was truly spectacular to exsperience. And I hope new people can come and enjoy the story just as well._

_I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.  
_

_Thank you, yours truly. Moonbird. Aka. Sofie.  
_

* * *

Severus Snape felt the life escaping his body, the warmth leaving with the pouring blood, and cold spreading from his heart and through his soul. Yet it didn't hurt.

"Look at me," he made his last request of the boy standing above him.

Severus had done his job now. Harry held the information he needed in his hand, in that little vial. At last Severus was free, he could let go now. Slowly, Severus met those startling emerald green eyes, and he felt relief pouring through his body as the eyes looked at him, not with disgust or hate, but with forgiveness. The brilliant eyes were forgiving him with that last mercy-filled glance, and Severus felt himself go, sinking down into a warm, welcoming place. There was no sadness here, nothing to hurt Severus, no cold, no fear.

Only peace.

Severus felt himself floating, light as a feather, no longer bound by such a clumsy thing as a human body.

How could anyone have feared something like this?

"Severus"

Drowsily Severus turned to the sound of the voice and opened his eyes, or what passed for eyes in on what he assumed was his spirit, "Mother" he whispered.

Right there in front of him stood what he knew was his mother, although she looked nothing like what he had remembered. She looked young, healthy and above, all happy. Her raven black hair fell elegantly down on her shoulders and she smiled at Severus, a genuine smile all though her eyes looked sad. "My son," she said as she reached her arms out to greet him, and pulled him into a hug "Oh my little Severus I am so sorry."

"Mother, it's okay," Severus told her as he tried to comprehend this. So this was how she was in spirit. Somehow he knew that how he saw people here was how they were supposed to be all along.

"Oh Severus, let me look at you," She said as she held his face between her hands. "I never got to see what you looked like as a man."

Severus smiled as he blinked at her. Somehow there was no pretending in this world, and there was neither need to nor any uncertainty about it. All negative emotions were foreign here. "Oh, but so many regrets." Eileen seemed really sad. "My son, you are almost drowning in them."

Severus suddenly felt them well up in him, all of his regrets, overwhelming him and he felt like crying.

"But you did your best, my son," Eileen embraced him as he cried freely, truly drowning in all of his regrets. "In the end you did all that you could."

Severus held his mother tightly as he cried his eyes out, his inner most being completely betraying him.

"Your regrets are weighing you down," Eileen stated worried. "They are pulling you back and away from me." She held him tighter, and true enough, Severus did feel himself being pulled away from this place, but he did not want to leave! Yet his heart was so heavy that it pulled all of him down.

"Severus, listen to me," His mother held his face between her hands. "I am not loosing you to have you wander around trapped on earth for eternity like some kind of ghost wandering about consumed with regret."

Severus nodded, his tears growing more frequent and his heart even heavier.

"You have to make a choice right now! Choose a second chance! Choose to go back in life. Focus, boy, focus!" she demanded. "Don't think about the situation that you have left behind, or you will be doomed to wander the earth until you don't feel that regret any longer. Most wandering spirits never do find the peace they so desire, so think back! Think back to a time where you had a choice, a time when you would have liked to have chosen differently!"

Severus nodded as he closed his eyes and thought hard. His mind wandered to green eyes and the thing he longed for most, forgiveness.

"That's right," his mother's voice sounded. "Hold that memory, focus on it!"

Long red hair and flashing green eyes, he had pushed away and she had tried to defend him, over and over. He wanted to make it good again, all those times back during his years at school.

"That's it!" his mother's voice sounded. "Hold it! Hold onto it Severus!"

Severus saw it so clearly now, Hogwarts, his young schoolmates chattering away, he himself studying alone, as usual. He could feel his heart growing heavier and heavier as he cried uncontrollably.

"Thank God," he could hear his mother sigh. "You have been granted a second chance, somebody helped you, wished for you to have a chance at happiness." He could feel himself being pulled into a hard embrace as he cried and sobbed, tortured by his own memory. "Do well my son." His mother whispered before kissing his forhead gently in farewell.

"I will." Severus sobbed, trying to cling to his mother while the heavy heart inside of him pulled him another way.

A second chance.

Suddenly Severus felt himself robbed of the all consuming peace and thrust away from the welcoming warm embrace into the cold darkness he did not want to be in. His heart suddenly felt pain again.

Pain, sadness, hurt, anger, guilt and everything that came with it. He could feel his aching body and his dry throat, before he suddenly landed with a thud to the ground, sitting in an upright position.

The sun stung his face with its sharp light and hurt his closed eyes. The noises around him went straight to his head and gave him an instant headache. Without even realizing it he covered his ears with his hands in a weak attempt to make it stop.

"All right, Snivellus!"

Severus felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He was not one to be easily surprised, but this was all too much, too fast. He acted with pure instinct as Severus did the only thing he could think of; he drew his wand to get rid of whatever the intruding threat was.

"_Expelliarmus._"

The wand flew out of Severus's grasp. 'Damn,' he thought, 'when did I get so sloppy?' That he was still in shock was hardly an excuse.

Laughter sounded and Severus moved his eyes to meet the laugher. His heart slowed down as he could feel another wave of paralysing shock come over him. It was not the source of laugher that shocked Severus beyond reason. Right beside the source, was the messy black hair and brown eyes of long since dead James Potter. Was this real? Severus felt himself stare at James. Could it be? If James was here, would Lily be as well?

Potter returned his gaze and suddenly looked unsure, though he tried to bite it back. "What's the matter Snivellus?" he asked in a mocking, smirking voice. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Severus wet his dry lips with his tongue as his Death Eater instincts suddenly came to mind and he concluded the only logical sort of action to get out of the danger, and get his wand! Without thinking he threw himself after the wand, which had rolled down to Potters feet's.

"Oh no you don't. _IMPEDIMENTA!"_ Potter yelled.

Severus felt the curse strike him. 'Damn again,' Severus thought. 'Why didn't I just accio my wand? Potter never would have seen that coming, and then I could have gotten away, swiftly and quickly.' He was too sly and experienced to be beaten by a bunch of teenagers.

He could hear Black's words in what he supposed was meant to be a mocking tone. "I was watching him. His nose was touching the parchment. There'll be grease marks all over it. They won't be able to read a word."

Severus could not care less. He had been called worse and been through worse. If anything, lying down gave him a chance to compose himself for a minute.

"Aww, he's lost for words." Potter smirked. "Sirius, I believe you've hurt his feelings."

"I just hope he isn't going to wipe his nose with us."

Cold and calculating Severus knew what to do. "Accio wand!" he demanded with his hand streatched out.

"Scourgify!"

The spell hit Severus before he caught his wand, and before he could counteract the spell was already on him. But to counteract was not necessary as the sudden, horrible taste in his mouth, combined with panic, gave him enough strength to break the spell without thinking about it. Sitting up coughing and spiting, he tried to get rid of that horrible, horrible taste. Defeated by a children's curse? This was getting more embarrassing by the moment. As he spat out the soapy taste he sent a dark glare towards Potter, drying his mouth with his sleeve.

"That should teach you to wash your mouth," Potter instructed him, although Potter's voice sounded rather shaken. None of them had foreseen Severus's sudden display of wandless magic. And that Severus was merely starring sullenly at them instead of swearing seemed to scare them more than anything else he could do. So he sent all the discomfort he was now feeling, his confusion, his headache, all that hurt, into one of his sullen glares, while he coughed and spat, actually making Potter take a step back. Before raising his wand again. "Well, aren't you going to tell me what a spoiled brat I am?" he asked in a mocking all knowing tone, though it sounded like he was praying for Severus to answer.

"Leave him alone!"

Severus's eyes widened. Everything was forgotten - the pain he was currently feeling from the sun, the headache from the noises, his utter confusion of this bizarre situation, the ill feeling in his body, the shock of seeing James and Sirius, even the horrible taste in his mouth and his desperation to get to safety. None of that mattered. She was here, and she didn't hate him enough to not defend him.

Lily.

Severus's heart was literately doing flips and the world might as well have been standing still. In that moment, it all seemed muffled and unreal to him.

Insensible mumblings between Potter and Lily went straight over his head, Severus did not hear them. He just watched her very much alive and vibrant with anger, her green eyes flashing in proud defiance and her strong melodic voice soothing his mind.

Fighting himself up onto his legs, Severus had only one thing in mind. He wanted to get closer, to see her for real, to beg for her forgiveness.

Potter, seeing him approach, apparently got the wrong idea as Severus suddenly saw a wand pointed at him.

Severus felt his head falling slightly askew in wonder as he first looked at Potter, showing no expression on his face and feeling nothing inside him, not even annoyance or hate, nothing, before his eyes wandered to Lily. He felt his heart leap and his throat tighten so much so that he was almost literally unable to breathe.

"Stop right there," Potter warned, with his wand still raised and pointing right at Severus's face, mere inches from his face. The fear in James' voice was obvious as well, and it was hard not to notice that his wand hand was shaking.

But Severus only had eyes for Lily.

"I am warning you," Potter tried again. "Stay where you are."

Severus did not care one bit. In fact, it was not possible to care less than he did at that moment. He just wanted to see that Lily was okay, so he took a step towards her, one long slow step, afraid of it being a dream.

"Levicorpus!"

Severus felt his world turn upside down once more as he found himself in the air and on his head.

Lily held both her hands up to her mouth, as she also seemed shocked. It all seemed so irrational, and like it was coming out of nowhere. "Let him down!" she defended him at once, however she was still holding her hands to her mouth, while starring shocked at him with disbelieving eyes.

"When did you last wash your pants, Snivellus?" Black asked teasingly, but the words were uttered with such uncertainty that they didn't seem funny at all.

Potter also seemed shocked as he looked at Severus.

"What do you have up your sleeve?" Potter asked, his voice betraying his emotions as it trembled. "Somethings wrong, Sirius. Snivellus, _what do you have up your sleeve?_" Potter swallowed nervously. "FOR MERLINS SAKE SPEAK SNIVELY!" James demanded desperately.

Oh, Severus had a great many things up his sleeve. He really didn't need a wand to get himself out of this one, yet his eyes were fastened on Lily, and his own emotions were now betraying him, as he felt a tear and sob fighting there way out.

"Oh, look at that, you made Snivelly cry," Black said, this time with more courage.

Yes, he was crying, there was no denying it. And he couldn't stop, it just happened.

"James Charlus Potter, put him down!" Lily said in a loud voice burning with anger, although behind her fury she also seemed unsure of it all.

"Lily," Severus uttered the word in a crooked, broken voice, making everyone tense and silent at once, everyone's eyes transfixed on him. It was the first word he had spoken since this strange encounter had begun, and he said it so softly barely a whisper as he hung upside down, with tears running silently down his face. "It's all right, they are the ones who end up looking like children."

Lily looked at him with an astounded look on her face, her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly open. She was terrified, and it hurt Severus, he wished that he knew what to say to make her feel better, she just looked so beautiful, like an angel, and, oh so alive. Though to his dismay she looked very frightened. "Sev..." she said in a shaky voice.

Potter and Black seemed to have no idea what to do. "You're really happy to see us, huh?" Potter tried to say something to turn Severus off. But the words were said in a defeated tone, and made the whole scenario just seem more awkward and not at all funny.

"If I was able to move, I would kiss you Potter," Severus said as he smirked. The worst thing was that he felt like he genuinely could. This was all to good to be true.

All at once he found himself being dropped onto the hard ground beneath him. This had apparently been too much for Potter who had lost his concentration, from the shock of Severus' words, thus ending the hex's hold on Severus.

Slowly Severus sat up as he tried to compose himself, doing what his Death Eater instinct demanded of him, asess the situation, so that you can properly defend yourself. This was his fifth year, he remembered this, it was right after his Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. exam. Severus raised up onto his feet and he could feel everybody around him take a step backward, frightened of him and his irrational behaviour.

In spite of everyone taking one hesitant step away, they all looked at him in firm fascination. Lily on the other hand stood perfectly still, looking at him, with sheer fright and he could see that she was shaking lightly. The sight of this stung Severus's heart severely.

Slowly, Severus captured her eyes, those beautifuly brilliant green eyes. Slowly he approched her, closer and closer, afraid that she would suddenly vanish. He was feeling the strong urge to make sure that she was real so Severus reached out his shaking hands and first just touched her lightly on the shoulders, before taking a firmer grip, looking at those startling Emerald green eyes that were finally in the right face, though they looked so shocked, unsure, worried, and that did it. He just couldn't help but draw her into a tight embrace and hold her close to him as he felt the years of pent up tears finally escape from his eyes and fall down his cheeks.

"Thank God," he cried, and he knew that everyone could hear it, but for many different reasons he didn't care. "Thank God you're safe."

"Sev," Lily's voice sounded shocked, and he could feel how she tensed in his embrace while her hand was awkwardly patting him on the back. "It's fine, whatever it is, it's fine." She tried to say. "I'm fine!" she confusedly tried to assure him.

"I can see that, but I just can't believe it," Severus felt his body trembling as he held her even closer.

Surprisingly enough, no one came up with any stupid or immature comments. Not even Black reused the joke that Severus used people like Lily to wipe his nose. Severus just couldn't stop crying. It was dumb and ridiculous, he was too old for this, he had been through too much, but perhaps being through so much was exactly the reason for his breakdown. "Everything is going to be different now," Severus promised, although it was not a promise to Lily, as much as it was to himself and the world. "I promise I can change, I really can" He sobbed.

"Shh," Lily patted him on the back, at last it seemed like she had regained some certainty and just acted as the kind person she was. "It's all right, it's all okay" she spoke the words softly although Severus could feel her insecurity. "Sev..." she spoke. "Lets go somewhere else."

He nodded and gathered up the strength he needed to let her leave his tight embrace, and it did take some strength from his own mind to make that simple gesture of letting go. Yet as he saw her face again, he could feel a genuine smile fighting its way out, and for the first time in God knows how long, Severus was smiling. Not a big smile mind you, but for Severus Snape, this little glimmer of happiness was worth galaxies of starlight. His smile became even brighter as Lily, after a little hesitation, returned the smile with a small one of her own. Then she grabbed his arms so she could guide him away.

"Oh wait," Lily gasped as she let go of his arm, leaving Severus to suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable and standing alone in this weird unfathomable situation without her protection, before she thankfully returned. "Here." Severus felt something being stuffed into his hand.

Tensely, Severus looked down and saw his own slim black wand, the same object he had always had in his hand, that he had back in the shack. Was it only minutes ago? Somehow, feeling the pulsing vibe of his wand told him that it was for real, even though he could not figure how or why. "Thank you," he muttered.

For a while he just stood there, until Lily took his arm once again and led him into the castle. Severus wasn't really aware of where they were going, for the first time ever his guard was completely down, his emotions were out of control, and so were his thoughts. That is, to say for the first time in his life he might as well have not had any thoughts in his head, he still just felt completely stunned. Severus found himself being led gently down onto a couch. Warily he looked around and discovered red banners, a warm fire place and four beds standing side by side. Severus blushed as he put two and two together, he was in Lily's dorm.

Severus knew it wasn't exactly against the rules for students to bring schoolmates from other houses to their own common room and dorm, boys could not go to girl dorms by themselves, but girls could accompany them. It was just rare that a student thought that far, and house pride often led the students to believe that they were not supposed to bring other people in. The passwords for the common rooms were just there for the sake of it, so there was a feeling of unity in the house, like something cool and special, that only they knew. Yet, even though he had been a teacher for so long, he didn't have a clue as to what the rules were for a girl of a different house bringing a boy to her dorm in the middle of the day. It was honestly not a situation he had ever had to think about. Vaguely Severus noticed what a stupid thing it was to be thinking about since he had been magically brought back to Lily. But thinking about something so mundane and trivial just seemed so much simpler to do.

"It was the only place I could think of where we would be alone," Lily excused. "How about I make you some tea."

Severus nodded his head in agreement, barely moving. As Lily buzzed around the room, Severus was sat with his thoughts swirling inside his head. It had all happened so fast. He tried to collect himself and make some sense of it all, and of course he had no such luck, none at all, his only conclusion was that nothing about this made sense.

He had remembered the incident that he had just come from, thinking about how it had played out differently this time around. It had been while he was taking his O.W.L.s in his fifth year, right after he had taken his Defence Against the Dark Arts exam. He and Lily had been growing apart for a while, because of his past choices. He had wanted power and to be powerful so much. He had wanted revenge for what the marauders had done to him, wanted to show them all, at the time, and in his mind, he had seen nothing wrong in Voldemorts ways. Joining him was just an opportunity to gain the power and recognition he had always wanted. His only flaw in that was that he had not realised he would have to pay a heavy price, in the end, for joining.

Lily was to the point of nearly begging him more times than it was worth counting to reconsider his ways and his friends. Warning him that if he continued like that he would lose her friendship, which she constantly reminded him of. They hadn't even studied together for the O.W.L. exams. This most recent incident had been Lily's last attempt in defending him, and then the final straw had been drawn, which had caused Severus to lose her. Although Severus did not have a clue as to whether she would be willing to give him another chance or not. If he had changed his ways in his first life, maybe she would have stayed friends with him, because she had given him an ultimatum, them or me, basically saying change your ways or leave me alone.

After that he had closed off for good, swearing to show them all that he would be so powerful! And in his youthful stupidity, he had actually thought that if he could just become powerful and respected she would come running back to him. She was not that kind of person though, she would have been disgusted at what he had become. All he needed to do was change for the better, maybe he could have gotten her friendship back. She was always keen on seeing the best in people, the best in him, because of this he felt that he had honestly gotten what he had deserved.

But now she was there in the room with him. Suddenly Severus felt an icy feeling creep over him as he started to remember the mark. He closed his eyes as he begged for it to not be there. If it was and she saw...she would have every reason to leave him and hate him forever! With a shaking hand he touched his sleeve, and while holding his breath and making sure Lily was on the other end of the room buzzing around, he pulled the sleeve away. He let out a great sigh of relief, an emotion that quickly filled his whole being and threatened to shed another tear; relief and disbelief, his arm was as thin and white as ever, but that was it. No dark mark was to be traced, not even the dark red annoying spot that had been there when Voldemort had disappeared. This was indeed a moment of pure joy for Severus. It was the chance for freedom that he needed, something he hadn't had since he was, well, eighteen and freshly out of school.

He breathed in another sob, yet somehow he couldn't help smiling. Then he covered his eyes with his hand. This had to be a dream, even so, it was a good dream.

"Sev, are you all right?" Lily asked as she sat down in front of him and handed him a steaming mug of tea.

The mug warmed Severus' hands, and he sipped it, it was delightful to have the liquid warming up his throat and chest.

"I'm fine," His voice sounded incredibly hoarse and tear filled, Severus smiled vaguely at her although at the same time as tears were still silently spilling from his eyes. "Right now, I am actually fine." His words surprised himself.

"Did something happen?" Lily asked, looking him over with those gorgeous green eyes of hers, they looked very puzzled, and a little apprehensive as she looked him over for any sign of trouble.

"I've been through hell," Severus said, looking down into the mug, unable to watch those eyes anymore, and was met instead with the sight of water vibrating and swishing around because his own hands were shaking. "I've seen stuff, horrible things, I would not want anyone to see."

"But when?" Lily asked, looking like someone who was determind to decifer a puzzle. "Sev, how, you haven't gone anywhere, you've been here the whole year. I know we haven't spoken that much, but I have at least seen you on campus everyday."

"Time can be an illusive thing Lily," Severus muttered darkly. "Especially when we are living in a world with magic, that no one can really explain."

Lily frowned, not really looking satisfied with the cryptic answer, she kept looking him up and down with a frown on her face.

"Lily," Severus whispered as he suddenly felt like his heart was tearing apart. "I was wrong, God help me, I was so wrong. And I am sorry, I am so sorry." He looked pleadingly at her. "I promise, I _will _do better, I'll do_ anything _to make it up to you." He said as he felt his body start to tremble again.

Lily looked confused; she blinked a couple of times. "You mean.." she hesitated. "I know you're tired of hearing this, but if you want to make it up to me, think about what your doing! Supporting Voldemort is wrong! Even just the idea of it is wrong, he is evil!"

Severus winced at the sound of the name, almost dropping the mug in his hands, and starred wide eyed at her, with a shocked expression, as if he couldn't believe his own ears.

"Don't look at me like that." Lily hrmpfed crossing her arms. "You know how I feel about that lot."

Severus noticed he was gaping at her and blinked, shaking his head to clear his mind while running a hand through his dark hair. "I don't." he swallowed trying to do something about his ever tightening throat. "I really don't want anything to do with him." He looked at her sincerely. "_Ever_."

Lily straightened her small frame, looking more apprehensive than ever, staring at him with wide unbelieving eyes. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, that these words were coming from her childhood friends mouth.

"Lily, I never told you and I need to tell you now, you are the kindest most compasionate and beautiful person in the world..."

Now Lily was just gaping.

"and you were, right!" Severus tried to tell her everything he wanted to say. "You were always right! I was wrong!"

"Sev," she looked incredibly confused. "Why now?"

"Because in a moment I'll wake up and this will no longer be real." Severus could feel how sad and desperate he had to look. "You will be gone, and I will never see you again."

"Sev for heavens sake!" she moved closer as if to look at him properly and sat right in front of him on her knees, looking at him forcefully. "What's wrong! What's happening!" she looked at him. "Please! I need to know," she cried looking frightened, as if she suspected something terrible was going to happen somewhere, as if she was completely sure something terrible was happening this very moment.

"I am not sure." Severus tried to say. "It's a little bit complicated." Actually it was very complicated, he was just really confused and couldn't seem to keep his thoughts straight for even a few seconds.

"Are Avery and Mulciber out setting something up?" she asked at last. "Something you planned? Did something backfire? Get out of control! Just tell me what is going on?"

"What? Oh..." Severus had to remind himself they were not on the same page at all, he really needed to figure out his own page before he could start figure where she was. "Lily nothing is going on." he assured her.

Lily didn't really seem like she believed him. "I saw you whispering with Avery and Mulciber this morning." she took a breath. "And you promised Black a payback of some sort today. I heard you, just outside the door to the exam area." she crossed her arm looking at him accusingly, as a mother would when questioning a naughty child. "Sev, what did they do?"

Severus stared blankly at her. "nothing." he tried to say.

"Okay then." Lily looked at him. "What did Malfoy, Mulciber or Avery do?"

"Haha" Severus cut her off, genuinely amused. "They don't deserve to sniff my dirt. They are incompetent fools and I don't want anything to do with them ever again."

"Sev," Lily looked shocked at him. "you...you.. what? I thought you told me they were your real friends!" She accused.

"I was wrong," Severus told her firmly. "People like them don't know what real friendship is. I should just count myself lucky that I do." Gently, he took her hands, very carefully, but he just needed to be sure, as he looked Lily directly in the eyes. "_I really should_." He emphsized his words. "You were right, they are evil. You were right about everything." You were always my guardian angel and conscience.

Lily looked even more wide eyed than ever, completely shocked. "Urh...thanks, I guess." She looked confused. "All right, tell me this. What are your views on muggles?" She asked. "Be completely honest now, I can tell if your lying, I know you."

Severus looked oddly at her, now feeling really confused. "What about them? People are people. Well, you're a muggleborn and you are my friend, isn't that saying something?" Severus asked, very puzzled. "I couldn't care less whether somebody is muggle, muggleborn or pureblood and you do realize that I'm a halfblood right?"

Again Lily just looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "Sev.. I don't think I have ever heard you say that out loud." She told him.

"Oh," Had he really been that narrow minded and arrogant in his previous life? Apparently.

"Honestly I really don't care, you know who else is half blood?" Severus asked.

Lily shook her head, starring at him her eyes never leaving his face, as if they were determined to capture any clue to what he was really thinking.

"The Dark Lord," he said dark anger finding its way to his chest.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "How would you know that?"

"I know a lot," Severus shook his head. "I know his real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle. I know that he is a good for nothing piece of shit and would do everyone a tremendous favor if he would just drop dead." Lily seemed shocked by his words, still, whether it was because Severus was talking about Voldemort or that he suggested he wanted somebody dead, Severus didn't know. Perhaps it was his sudden change in belief, painfully he remembered he had showed admiration for Voldemort by the time he was fourteen. "I know…" Severus's eyes widened as he realized. Horcruxes! Had Voldemort been making them even now? And if so, how many were out there at this point. Wait, one of them had already been made, the diary, he had made that as a student. This information was important, to important to keep to himself. He needed to tell someone and soon.

"Know what?" Lily asked.

Severus looked at her. "Too much," he snapped. "I know too much."

"Does this mean that he is coming after you?" She asked horrified. She meant the Dark Lord, of course. "Have you been meddling with him? Of all things Sev!"

"No, no," Severus stood up as he started wandering around the room. "The Dark Lord doesn't have a single clue that I know anything, how could he, I was never there, not anymore." He walked around in quick manic steps. "But that doesn't alter the fact that I know now, and if I don't do something it's as bad as joining him. Don't you see," Severus stood right in front of Lily, who was still sitting down. "If I do this right I can turn this whole thing around!"

"Severus, you're scaring me," Lily looked up at Severus with wide, and true enough, scared eyes. "You sound... mad." There had been a pause and the last word, "mad" had been uttered in a defeated tone, and he got the sense that she was debating whether he had lost his mind or not.

It was like all the tense energy left him, and his shoulders just fell as he exhaustedly looked at her. "I'm sorry Lily, I just don't know what to do," Severus turned around and walked away from her feeling rather embarressed. "I can't just go around spreading information so who do I tell..."

Suddenly his eye caught a movement, an unfamiliar face. Stepping back, Severus was minorly shocked. It was typical for girls to have mirrors everywhere, heaven forbid having a bedroom without a mirror. But Merlin, did he look different. Severus was staring at his own reflection, the mouth of the reflection was slightly open, slowly he lifted a hand to touch his chin as the mirror image did the same. He looked so young that it was incredible. He had never considered himself to be attractive, and had not been a pretty teenager at all, but his many years of using dark magic had not made him appalling, because he hadn't done it yet. His skin, although it looked pale, didn't look sickly pale or like dry parchment. There were no wrinkles, either mature or premature. He didn't look as scary as he knew he would eventually be. Severus suddenly realized he was sixteen again. He was not even as tall as he would become in the future. He was also scrawnier than he had been before, having not fully grown into himself. His face was not too sallow and his cheeks weren't sunken in, but he was pale and was as greasy as every other teenager. His nose, big as it might be, wasn't as distinguishable, and his eyes weren't like tunnels any longer, more like two pitch black orbs. He had actually liked his eyes once, he vaguely remembered. Though, it seemed like the tunnels were hiding in there somewhere.

In the mirror Severus could see Lily approaching from behind. She too looked young. She was sixteen, Severus had to remind himself. "You look like you have never seen a mirror before," Lily commented while biting her lip as her head appeared beside his. How young they both looked. "I don't know who you should tell, everything that you know," Lily placed a hand on his shoulder. "But you can tell me if you want." She frowned as she looked at him. "It would actually make me feel better." She said honestly. "I promise I'll listen if you tell me."

"Thank you," Severus whispered. He wondered if his voice would ever stop being hoarse again. "I think I might, but not now... right now I need," he didn't really know what he needed. "I need to relax." he said. "It feels like my head is bursting." It really did, he actually felt quite ill.

An unsure reluctant shadow came over Lily's eyes, and she was visibly straining to get the words out. "I'll let you go then," she sighed.

"No!" Severus snapped a bit too quickly and a bit too loudly, causing Lily to jump. "I mean, urhh..." He could feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I would be able to relax more easily if I didn't... If I didn't have to be alone." He struggled with the words. "If I could have you near me." He finally spat out and afterwards, was taking a deep breath as if he had just dove head-first into ice cold water, and then looked at her. "Please." He begged of her.

Lily blinked, mildly shocked, then a light smile briefly crossed her lips as she seemed beyond relieved. She probably didn't want to let him be alone either, or she didn't quite trust him to leave him alone yet.

Almost suddenly Severus felt his legs weaken from exhaustion and as he slumped down into a hung-over sitting position on one of the beds, resting his aching head in his hands as he tried to draw a string of sense from everything that had happened to him that day. Since they had stayed in Lily's dorm and drank their tea, Severus was thankful for the peace and quiet since everywhere else there would be nothing but prying eyes. Especially after that incident at the lake earlier that afternoon. Severus winced at the memory of that, what would his students think? Mentally slapping himself, he remembered that he didn't _have_ any students, he _was_ a student. And this time around he didn't want to have any students, _EVER_! He would never become a Death Eater now, and so he would not run into the same problems with people not wanting to give him a job. He smirked when he thought of how easy it would be to impress all those potions fools, with potions that wouldn't be invented for another ten years, ones that he could brew with his eyes closed.

And Lily, he would not have been able to relax if she wasn't within his sight. To just have her sit there was gratifying, all though she kept sending him puzzled looks, each glance of calculating puzzlement hurt him, as it showed that his angel did not yet trust him. Yet the fact that she was there made everything alright when all else was too much for him to bare.

Sadly, the last several minutes to curfew came all too quickly, and he needed to get to his own common room. He ventured down the stairs with Lily beside him, dreading the moment he had to let go of her and still fearing that his leaving would be the end of their time together and make her disappear.

"What the!"

Severus' attention was pulled from Lily as he glared at a flabbergasted James Potter. "Snape!" he exclaimed again, drawing the attention of several students who turned their heads towards them curiously.

"Potter," Severus nodded his head in a courtly manner.

"You can't be here," Potter lifted an accusing finger.

"Well, obviously I can," Severus smirked, as he thought of how immature it might be to find it funny that it would hurt Potter to see Severus walk down the stairs with Lily from _her_ bedroom.

"But, you're not allowed to be here," Potter pointed out, and Black who sat beside him as he always did, (those two had been joined at the hip during their early years) nodded in agreement.

Severus frowned and pointed out, "Actually there is no rule against it." "As long as I am back in my own common room before curfew, which is where I am heading, there is nothing wrong with my being here, so if you will now excuse me, I _really_ must be going." he added cheekily

He turned towards the portrait hole, and had just reached it when he turned around again, looking oddly at the Marauders. None of them had tried to come up with any of their typical snide remarks when he did this, and it surprised Severus alot, they were all there and not one of them said a thing. Potter and Black were sitting side by side, Wormtail looking at them, questioningly, and Lupin with his face burrowed in a book as always. Though even he glanced up from behind the pages of his book and looked with furrowed brows at Severus. That was the only way Severus ever remembered Lupin being in the old days. Hidden away beneath a book trying to ignore the situation whenever Severus was anywhere near them. To be fair, it was when Lupin first got the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor that Severus had first learned what Lupin was like as a person, and more so at the order meetings. He had liked to shoot a lot of hate in Lupin's direction, for a number of reasons. and further more, Severus bloody hated werewolves! They frightened him, but in the end, Lupin had been one of the few to believe in Severus, and stood by him, however quietly, and had done so up until the time Severus had to do the deceitful deed by ending Dumbledore's life. Severus closed his eyes from the mere memory of that.

Lupin was a man who knew where his loyalties lay, and knew who he should be grateful to. Damn well that Lupin should be grateful to Severus at the time. Wolfsbane potion wasn't an easy potion to brew, and it was time consuming at that, plus it had been a perfectly good opportunity to poison Lupin and claim it was an accident, no one would be able to know for sure, and Severus hadn't done it, no matter how much he may had fantasied about it. Lupin owed him for that, and unlike so many other people, Lupin had stood by it.

It would be practical to have Lupin stand in his debt once again, and it would be amusing to see the other Marauders' reactions to it, it would probably be quite healthy for them. Severus couldn't help but shudder at the memory of Lupin's werewolf form from the incident at the willow, that for him, had happened an eternity ago, but was something he had to remember, because it happened recently for those around him. Even to this day, Severus was terrified of werewolves, and now that he knew the Marauders were actually running around the school grounds during the full moon, especially when Lupin had no control, he was frightened all the more.

Severus shuddered inwardly at his thoughts, a memory flashing from when he had seen then Professor Lupin transform as he tried to shield the golden trio who were standing behind him. Though for once he himself had been of little use, simply because he was so terrified. He, Severus Snape, the man who had faced the Dark Lord, was afraid of werewolves. It was decided then, for his own safety that the Wolfsbane potion was his only option. With a last glance over at the Marauders, puzzled by the lack of snide comments, Severus turned around and exited the Gryffindor common room.

That Lily being confused was a poor way to describe her feelings, she just stared at the exit long after Sev had gone through it.

He had seemed genuine enough, both at the lake and in her dorm, and so far she had always been able to tell when he was lying, even when others couldn't.

But something was different and totally off! Something was out of place and completely wrong! Not just one thing, but everything about him was wrong!

She wanted to believe his words, God how she wanted to. But it seemed so abrupt, so sudden, and all out weird.

He looked shocked as well, like he had experienced something life altering that shook him to his core.

Well, if that was what had forced him see reason, it was a good thing. It was very good indeed, because he was so close to going to far, to a point where he wouldn't be able to turn back. He had genuinely wanted to hurt some people, he needed something to force him to see reason. He needed a lesson and she knew it, only she didn't known how to teach him that lesson. How to make him face the ultimatum she had given him, but for some miraculous reason it had happened, and now there was somebody out there that she owed.

He had been so scary down in the field, not saying a word.

She had been shocked by James' behaviour, but this time around, as she had seen Sev's dark look, she could understand it as James had used levicorpus. And then Sev not having a fit over it and not cursing the Marauders. That is what he should have done, that was what Sev did, he had a bad temper, and lashed out when confronted or attacked. He had difficulty controlling emotions which was often his greatest flaw. Yet he didn't and his silence was scarier than any yelling he could have ever done. And then when he finally did speak all he had to say was, _"they are the ones who end up looking like children."_ In that moment she had feared for the Marauders' very lives, combined with what she knew, and what Sev had been doing, it was the most natural conclusion she could have jumped to. They may be huge prats, but she didn't want them die. To say she had been terrified for them would have been an understatement.

But you can't forget that he had cried, she reminded herself. Sev never cried! Not since he was nine years old. He hadn't even cried when his mother had died, not one tear. What could have scared him so much that had caused him to actually cried?

Was he in trouble? Had things become to much for him to handle? Had it all come back to finally bite him in the arse? Had he finally recieved a much needed lesson and had now turned a new leaf?

She wanted to think that, Merlin how she wanted to think that. For his and her own sake. Right then she decided to give him the benefit of doubt, though she also knew that it would be his last chance. He could not have both her friendship and be in the service of the Voldemort. It was a good thing that the events of this afternoon and then the conversation this evening had come out in his favor. He had just seemed so unbelievably genuine and beside himself with guilt.

Merlin help her she hoped this was a good sign.

But what the hell! Honestly! This was all so unlike him! There was only one word that could describe this, and it was bizarre! She couldn't figure it out, no matter how long she thought about, the way he acted was _not_ like him at all!

"So?"

Lily turned her head to meet James.

"What's wrong with him?" James asked.

"That's none of your business," Lily snapped.

"So something's wrong!" Sirius stated.

"Padfoot, sometimes your skill of deduction are just astounding," Remus rolled his eyes as he put down his book. "I do think we have all established now that something happened to Snape."

"Then what is it?" Sirius asked.

"Frankly, Lily is right. It's not our business," Remus as he shook his head.

"You're such a bore," James pouted in a childish manner, then his eyes seemed to widen with shock. "You don't think it has anything to do with..." The word lingered in the air as he and James exchanged a knowing look with his friends that Lily couldn't decipher.

"I don't think so," Remus shook his head.

"But it could," James persisted.

"Maybe," Remus said and then bit his lip looking rather nervous. "But I still don't think so."

"What?" This time it was Lily who spoke. "Do you know something?" The four boys looked at Lily with startled faces. "Does it have something to do with you-know-who?" she asked sternly. She had decided she was going to figure this thing out.

"Merlin, no!" James mouth dropped open. "Has Snape had something to do with him?"

"Urh no." Lily quickly tried to cover it up, no reason for Sev to face more trouble as it was "Well, he said he thinks he is evil." Lily nervously pulled on her ear.

The marauders looked puzzled at her before turning to each other. "So maybe Snivellus does have a decent bone in his body," James muttered.

"Maybe," Sirius muttered.

"Would you just stop calling him that?" Lily reprimanded. "It was already childish when you were eleven but now you're sixteen. Grow up already! He hates that name."

"Aww, come on now, Lily," Sirius snorted. "That couldn't have been the reason he cried."

"Of course not," Lily placed her hands on her hips. "But that doesn't mean that he likes it."

Potter furrowed thoughtful his brows. "This time around it didn't seemed like he took notice though." He commented.

Lily was just about to retort, but then furrowed her brows. Potter was right, it hadn't seemed like Sev had particularly cared, and he had assured her that he couldn't care less what the Marauders said or did to him. Didn't he want to see them go down, that they should mind their own business? Again that wasn't like him, and it was even one of the issues Lily had sided with him on, though not to the extreme that he had gone to.

"Guys, I think we should drop it," Remus muttered silently. "Snape isn't one to cry without a reason. I don't think I have ever seen him display any kind of tears, especially not like that. When we come down to it, it really isn't any of our business. I think we should let it be this time around."

"But..."

Remus gave James a pleading look that said, drop it, more than anything else. Lily rolled her eyes. When was Remus going to show any kind of backbone toward his friends? He shouldn't be pleading, he should be telling them!

"Okay," James then sighed. "You're right."

Lily breathed a sigh of relief, she had known the Marauders long enough to know that any decision James took was final. Sirius still seemed unhappy, but Lily knew he was too loyal to James to pursue anything on his own when James had specifically said no.

Severus walked down the corridors of Hogwarts; he knew every inch of these halls now, and as it was close to curfew only a few students were running to get to their common rooms. It felt strange not to have any of them stop and slow down their pace at the sight of him. Although a few people gave him odd looks, probably those who had heard about or seen the incident outside.

Severus felt surprisingly unconcerned about that. He just continued walking downwards, and into the dungeons. Or he would have been, had he not been stopped.

"Mr. Snape," a voice called out to him.

Immediately Severus stopped and turned around to face Minerva McGonagall. Having her call him Mr. Snape all of a sudden was just another really weird thing to add to today's ever growing list. She had called him Severus for years, with the exception of last year, when she had thought he was a traitor and had gone back to Snape, but not _Mr._ Snape. He felt a smile tugging on his lips as he saw her. She looked exactly like she did last time, well, perhaps a few less wrinkles, but yet her appearance had remarkably changed very little. She was one of the few people he really respected, and to meet her eyes when they weren't hate filled, disgusted or hurt from his supposed betrayal, was both gratifying and relieving. He was just about to greet her by calling her Minerva, but cut himself short at the last moment and instead greeted her. "Mi-, Gonagall," looking emarrassed at the floor as he muttered a "Professor", at least trying to save the slip up.

McGonagall seemed to have either not noticed or let it slip as she walked to him. "Mr. Snape," she repeated as she stood in front of him. "It has been brought to my attention that somebody from my house has done you serious harm. Is that something you wish to confirm?" she asked in a strictly business tone of voice.

Severus looked at her oddly, well this was new. Perhaps it was his display of tears that had made him look more like a victim than usual. "It was nothing worth mentioning professor," Severus said at last.

"I have been led to believe that you were seriously compromised, and well... emotional," McGonagall tried to speak softly.

To think she put so much thought into a students well-being, Severus had never gone out of his way like this for students, ever! He just gave them detention if he caught them red-handed and left it at that. Emotional... She had been told about his crying episode, well that was embarrassing. "I was emotional as you put it," Severus finally admitted, knowing very well McGonagall probably wouldn't let go before he did. "But it had nothing to do with Potter, Black and Pettigrew," he told her firmly. "It was due to personal reasons."

"Are you sure?" McGonagall asked.

"Yes professor," Severus nodded.

"Very well then," McGonagall nodded. "Off to the dorm with you, it is getting late." And both she and Severus turned around to walk in each of their separate ways. Quickly, Severus swung around again to get rid of one of his many recent irrational needs. "Professor!" he called out.

"Mr Snape?" McGonagall turned her head.

Snape swallowed. "Thank you," he then said at last.

McGonagall blinked. She wouldn't have a clue as to what he was actually thanking her for, how could she? Thank you for the rivalry in a previous lifetime, it was one of the things I enjoyed, thanks for standing by me in two wars that haven't happened yet? Thank you for being you, as you were the one single, reliable thing in my previous life.

"You're welcome," McGonagall looked surprisingly soft at him; she was really a softy behind that hard facade of hers. Especially when it came to students, no matter who she liked more. "We teachers are here for the students after all."

Another sarcastic smirk tugged on Severus's lips. He certainly had never been there for the students, but then again, he had never wanted to be a teacher. "Thank you," he repeated the two simple words which he normally only rarely used, but it seemed he had used frequently today. He nodded courtly to her and turned around to walk to his dorm.

Although he was faced with quite an interesting situation when he finally got to the entrance of the Slytherin common room. He really didn't remember the password. He would simply have to wait for somebody to come along who knew it. Oh, he really hoped it wouldn't be someone who started thinking they had the upper hand with him and would start to insult him because of what had happened.

He didn't have to wait long before running feet could be heard not far from him, getting closer quickly. They sounded light and Severus turned around. He let out a deep sigh of relief as a well-known thin frame with blond hair came around the corner. Narcissa Malfoy, no wait, Narcissa Black, he reminded himself. He should really count himself lucky, not only would she be easy to trick into saying the password, but she was also able to empathize and would not start to pry. "Severus," she stopped and looked up as she saw him.

"Narcissa," he greeted her.

She looked good, young and vibrant. Not yet tied down by responsibility and Lucius Malfoy.

"How are you?" she asked, slightly hesitant.

"Fine," Severus told her as he looked at the entrance.

"Are you going to go in?" she asked.

"In a moment," Severus told her.

"Oh," she looked baffled tilting her head to one side, but then seem to come to the conclusion that he wanted to be alone and she should probably go inside, so she walked toward the entrance. "Cobra," she spoke the code word and the entrance slid open allowing Narcissa to walk in.

He waited a couple of minutes before repeating the word. "Cobra," and walked inside.

There were unmistakable stares from all around him as Severus walked inside. Whispers were sounding in the corners and Severus was on guard, his wand at the ready in his sleeve, ready to be drawn at any moment. He walked directly toward the stairs that would lead to his own dorm and bed. It was to his own surprise that no one confronted him, not a single person.

He lay flat on his back in his bed looking out of the window. A half-moon shown brightly in the window, two weeks till the full moon, just enough time to make the Wolfsbane potion. There was no way Severus would let an uncontrollable werewolf run around the school grounds if he could help it.

Then he looked up at the ceiling, trying to fathom everything that had happened.

He listed the facts, he had died in the Shrieking Shack, killed by Voldemort.

In death he had been weighed down by so much regret, that he had been able to go back to the world of the living.

He would have become a ghost, but for his dead mother's spirit who had saved him by offering him an alternative.

The alternative was to be thrust back to a previous point in life where he would be able to undo his greatest regret.

That point in life had happened to be the day he had destroyed his friendship with Lily, which he now had no longer lost.

That other life was now for all intents and purposes, an illusion, or at least for him it was, maybe it was still out there. But here, things had already started changing.

He was sixteen and in the middle of his O.W.L. exams, and no one knew what he had done because he hadn't done anything. Not this time round, that other life was now the equivalent of a dream that only he had experienced.

He was not a Death Eater, he was not a spy, certainly not a double agent, and he wasn't caught in the middle of two major opposing sides. Nobody hated him, not really. Well, the Marauders didn't like him, but their feelings were nothing close to the hate other people had felt for Severus in that previous life. Lily was alive, and Severus was no longer responsible for any deaths, not a single one.

A sound escaped Severus' lips that could have sounded like half a chuckle. That this scenario had ever even existed once before seemed pretty unbelievable. Severus shook his head as he felt his eyes grow heavy. This had to be a dream, perhaps Heaven really was a real place, and this was a place constructed as his personal Heaven were he would be blissfully unaware that he had done all those mistakes or that they mattered. He could absolutely go with that. Slowly he started to drift off to sleep, with a smile on his lips. Things were finally starting to look up for once.


	2. Exams and a different kind of full moon

Severus was confused the following morning as he woke. This was not his bed, the room was too light for his quarters. He sat up and squinted trying to make out where he was. He turned in his bed and was met by the sight of a bulky-looking snoring sixteen year old in a bed close by.

Then it hit him, he was in the dorm of Slytherin! What on earth did he do here with the students? Why couldn't he remember what happened last night? What kind of emergency could possible make him decide to sleep here? As he hastily slid his feet to the floor his memory came flooding back.

He had died.

Only too well did he remember the bite of Nagini, the triumphant red eyes of Voldemort staring at him.

Oh Merlin, He was a sixteen-year-old brat, just the kind he despised most. Most assuredly where he didn't want to be. He absolutely did not want to go through school again. Thankfully his mind had grown clearer with sleep, and he remembered that he'd most definitely hated being a student. When he was a student, he was lonely and miserable. He had made all sorts of mistakes, he regretted his mistakes most of all. Contrary to what normal young people actually believe, Severus knew that name calling and other childish tauntings didn't matter. The mistakes were horrible to go through, and he refused to go through with it again! He hated it when he was reminded of the folly of his youth, and truth be told, he had made so many mistakes on his slipperly slope of life. Severus also did not really didn't want to be a student again! It irked him to find himself being on the same level as all those snotty dunderheads, it was more than he could bear! Just yesterday he was the head master! Severus did acknowledge to himself that although he didn't want to be head master either, such change was horrible.

Stifling a small groan, Severus got up from bed and walked to the bathroom where he caught his own mirror image. It was odd to be reminded of what he looked like as a teen so clearly. What a pretty picture he thought snidely to himself, the irony of it all; His tangled hair fell down his face and stuck to his extremely pale cheeks. He realised that he was a scrawny and bony youth, not quite grown into his adult body yet. His hands seemed over-large for his arms, and he was in that state where everything was just all messed up before it could settle down. It did cheer him a bit as he drew comfort in the fact that he would eventually grow more robust and out of this greasy stage of being a teenager. He squinted at himself in the mirror, pausing to look critically. He did look greasy.. and he felt greasy, inside out. Now was as good a time as any to take care of that, so he returned to his wardrobe, pulled a fresh set of robes and headed into the shower. He had just entered the shower when he could hear that others in the dorm were starting to stir. He was glad for the time in the shower. His older mind had come to appreciate the feel of hot water cascading over himself, and the feel of clean hair. He had a chance to change things, this may as well be one of them. As he stepped out, he was as clean as any one could ever be, yet he didn't fell it. All thought it did help as he towelled off and revealed in the unblemished skin on his forearm. No dark mark graced his skin, and that was one mistake he vowed not to repeat. He headed back to his dorm.

"Morning Severus." One of his dorm mates greeted him.

Severus send him a dark look, the person he recognised as Avery smirked at him. "Are we done crying to the mudblood?" he asked in a taunting voice.

Severus sneered at him. "We don't use that word here." He stated firmly.

Avery looked surprised at him. "Oh come now Severus, chill. She's just a mudblood."

Severus send him an even darker dangerous look both shocking and intimidating Avery.

"I said, we don't use that word here." Severus told him determinedly, with a warning look, shutting Avery up for good. Severus exited the dorm and the common room, feeling dread build as he walked briskly towards the great hall.

He was surprised that Lily was actually waiting for him in the great hall. He could tell she was waiting for him as he watched her eyes roaming the hall, looking for him, it seemed. He was surprised that she had such a determined look in her eyes. Her eyes found him, and she called out to him across the hall.

"Morning Sev," she tried to offer him a smile.

Severus' face first faltered in shock. He had not been mentally prepared to see her again, his angel coming back to life. He swallowed hard around the lump that appeared from nowhere in the middle of his throat. "Good morning Lily," he responded, his voice low and husky.

Lily's brows furrowed. "Sev are you all right?" she asked. "You look a little pale." He stood drinking in the sight of her, but even he had to quirk his eyebrow at this obvious statement. "Well your always pale, but..., you know." She said, and as if it was second hand nature and the most normal thing in the entire world, she reached a hand forward to touch him on the forehead. Severus tensed as she laid she small hand against it for a moment. "You're not fevered," she looked at his face again. "Seriously, are you all right?"

Severus blinked as he shook his head, and took a breath. "Yes, I'm all right." He responded.

She looked at him with a scrutiny gaze. "Right." She uttered. "You know what? Let's sit together," she took him by the arm and lead lead him forcefully to the nearest table, which just happened to be the Hufflepuff table.

Severus lifted an eyebrow, amused, as he shook his head.

"What?" Lily asked him. "Like there's any rule that a Gryffindor and a Slytherin can't sit together at the Hufflepuff table." She asked innocently, though in a such a coy way it really seemed like she had alternative motives.

Severus shrugged. "Only at special feasts," he had to admit.

"Really?" Lily asked.

"Yes, like the welcoming feast, Halloween and other special arrangements. You will have to sit at the table of your own house," Severus nodded.

"Okay, that does make sense," Lily responded, lifting an eyebrow at him.

Severus couldn't help but be amused as everybody who passed them gave them odd looks, especially all the Hufflepuffs who sat down at the table. Although the amusing bit was that all they did was look oddly at him. He could see there was no disgust, fear, or loathing that he had come to expect from people. He knew that had he been in his true time, had he chosen to sit there, he would have been loathed and barely tolerated. Instead, he could see that the looks people directed towards him were mainly bewildered and puzzled. Severus realised that he did not even have to be afraid of being stabbed in the back every second, and with this was a great relief that washed over him as the burden he had shouldered for so long fell from him in silence. Severus thought he ought to at least try and relax.

After-all, it didn't matter that people looked oddly at him. The only thing that did matter was Lily's approval. He noticed that she looked a bit flustered. Lily was a person who had very strong opinions and emotions, as well as a good temper. How well he knew that it often got the better of her. He knew this was probably why not everyone was aware that she was sometimes shy. Lily didn't particularly like being the centre piece of this kind of attention, it always made her a little uncomfortable. Severus remembered fondly. It probably didn't help that she looked a little out of sorts because of him as well. She was stealing puzzled glances at him, when she thought he wasn't looking, and then feeling embarrassed that she did it in the first place. Severus could see that her head was clearly spinning with thoughts, he could tell that she was puzzled about what had happened. Her eyes finally rested on him resolutely, and she looked at him sternly, a small frown on her face. Severus could see that she was up to something and she was determined to get through with it, it was a look she often wore. Severus sighed deeply, resolving himself to win her over.

Looking down the table, Severus could see he and Lily weren't the only ones out of house at this table. A few red and blue uniforms were to be found - probably students who exchanged last minute notes for school work, or asked advice for homework. However, he was the only one in a green set of robes.

Looking at the Gryffindor table, he did spot at least one Ravenclaw. And at the Ravenclaw table, well... A lot of red and yellow seemed to be passing by to ask for help with their school work there. Only Slytherin remained one colour. Its own green.

Looking puzzled at the green Slytherin table, Severus poured himself a cup of coffee and reached for some bread; he had felt too confused and ill to even consider going to dinner last evening, so now he could feel how empty his stomach was. The return of appetite was a blessing, as he couldn't even remember the last time he'd had an appetite, probably years.

"I didn't know you drank coffee," Lily pointed out in what might was a casual tone, but Severus knew when someone asked something with alterior motives behind it. Was she on to him?

Severus lifted an eyebrow at her, "It's a recent habit," he smoothly explained. Then he frowned. "Your fine sitting with me, right?" He could literately feel the eyes boring into his back from the Gryffindor girls at the other table. He tried hard to ignore it.

Lily looked at him, and then back at the Gryffindors, a cunning gleam seemed to come over her eyes as she was planning. "Oi Emmeline!" she greeted.

"Urh, Morning Lily." One of the girls greeted back, a little unsure. "urh..., good morning Snape." She said a bit unsure. Severus knew Emmeline Vance, a extremely well mannered muggleborn witch who always had set etiquette as a high standard, which could make her a little posh and stiff, but orderly. Severus knew she would simply have to say good morning to both of them had Lily started, and he knew that Lily knew that.

Severus could fell Lily's eyes at him as he politely turned his head and nodded curtly. "Good morning Vance." He said as politely as he could.

There sounded something like a clank in front of Severus, and he returned his gaze to discover that Lily had dropped her hand down on the plate, blinking at him. Was it that strange? He was not totally without manners. His feeling stung at the surprise on her face.

No one else seemed to find anything strange in his behaviour though, so they quickly moved on.

"Lily?" Severus asked calmly, "Are you okay?"

Lily blinked several times. "What do you mean am I okay? Are you okay? Are you ill?"

"Not that I know of." Severus responded honestly.

"Just gone a little insane maybe?" she asked in a amused smirk, though it didn't quite hide the tension between them.

Severus swallowed, feeling a little nervous over her behaviour. He was glad at least, that it was a sixteen year old student who was so pure that she wouldn't hurt anybody and not the dark lord who was interrogating him. Had it been the Dark Lord, the chances of such an interrogation ending up in a cruciatus curse was a lot more likely.

The mere thought that that was going to happen here was absolutely ridiculous. Neither was anyone going to put a highly poisonous serpent in his bed, plant truly dangerous explosions in his desk or hit him in the back with a confundus hex. All of these thing had happened in the last year of his life, he recalled. and people had been wondering why he had always been in a bad mood all last year?

"I guess something like that." He said at last taking a sip of coffee to escape the issue. What was he doing wrong? How was he supposed to have acted? How was he supposed to be acting?

Severus frantically tried to think back, but he had wanted to forget this time. for so long, the day after the defence exam was supposed to be filled with new determination of taking upon the world. He remembered with sorrow how he had convinced himself that the loss of Lily's friendship didn't hurt. He lost himself in the memory.

'_Fine! I don't need you mudblood! She should have felt honoured ever having been able to call me a friend, and I show her! I show you all! one day I will have it, I will be powerful and respected, it is my destiny and you will see mudblood, you will see!_

He shuddered quietly, and as quickly as he could, he stuffed the memory away in the darkest depth of his mind where it belonged. He tried to recall what he was supposed to act like, but he had been so determined to not ever think about how it was to be a child and a teenager that he honestly couldn't remember any longer.

He even remembered Dumbledores long lectures about how Severus should try and recall how it was to be a teenager, saying it would probably help him in the long run. `Severus, being a child his hard, I know you know that, but I think it's wise to remember it is hard exactly because it is supposed to make us the best adults possible, we make the biggest mistakes in our youth so we don't do them again in adulthood, and we both know people in general don't make the same mistake twice, especially no one as intelligent as you my boy, so you needn't worry Severus. It is really our greatest sin to forget how it is to be young´ Severus had been annoyed with the old man during those sessions, he hadn't even attempted following the advice, despite all the reassurances that it would somehow make his job more endurable. Although it would undoubtedly have come in handy now. Why did he even want to act out the part of a teenager? his rational mind interceded the fast flowing thoughts.

No, he didn't want to be a teenager again, he wanted to be able to just be himself for once. He especially didn't want to end up acting in front of Lily every single day.. all though, that was what he was doing right now, and it took energy out of him. Severus knew he really didn't have energy to act like someone he was not. It didn't matter if other people than Lily liked him or not, that was unimportant. He simply couldn't put up an acting facade any longer, he was finished with that.

"I was wondering," he hesitated, a little ashamed asking, "Would you help me study for our next exams?"

"Sev," Lily looked surprised him. "I would have thought you knew every single textbook word for word by now."

Yeah, about twenty-two years ago when I actually took the exams. How was he supposed to remember the geometry behind transfiguration now? Severus had no doubt the practical exam would be a piece of cake for him; years of extended practice and recognition as an extremely powerful wizard would have to help a lot along the way. "It wouldn't hurt to go over it with somebody else," he excused. "So far it has just been me studying alone, and I've always found that anothers perspective when studying is helpful." He also was glad that it would be a perfectly legitimate excuse to spend time with her, which he acknowleged to himself was the true reason.

"You studied alone?" Lily asked. "What about Avery and…"

"Those dunderheads?" Severus asked dryly. "Even if I still wanted to be friends with them, they are at most buffoons who learned some party tricks, if you read me."

"Actually I do," Lily looked up in the ceiling as she shook her head. "I never did understand what you did with them anyhow."

"If it is any conciliation, I have no idea either," Severus replied as he felt disgust welling up inside of him. And he felt so stupid for ever thinking those people were worthy, to think they were anything. They were nothing.! A bunch of really stupid people with no perception of the concept that is intelligence.

Severus could not help but be thankful for his own sense of order. It had been easy to find his transfiguration notes, and even easier to just skim over them to let memory do its purpose. Everything was neatly arranged and written in ways that were easily understandable. Why couldn't more students be like he himself was? With these notes and guidelines, any idiot would be able to pass the transfiguration exams. Quickly skimming over it and going through what was written in his mind so he wouldn't appear like a complete idiot in front of Lily, Severus collected his school papers under his arm to go down to the library where he would meet Lily. However he didn't get far before he was stopped at the Slytherin common room.

"Well, if it isn't Severus Snape?"

Severus took a deep breath a he faced the now 18 year old Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy looked at him with cold, demanding eyes. "I hear that you went back to that mudblood girl of yours."

Severus didn't remember the exact situation; he thought it had been something like Lucius had expected Severus to get rid if Lily, and Severus, as blind and stupid as he was, as he had been desperate enough to get in Lucius's favour agreed, but only half-way and had for some time lived a weird sort of double life meeting Lily in secret careful not to be seen with her in the empty hall ways of Hogwarts, wanting her with a burning passion whilst spitting about mudbloods in his dorm and common room. Thinking back now, his own teenage thinking was a mystery to Severus, because he really had wanted her. A lot, plus the even more aspect was that she was his best friend and only real confidence, and yet he had tried to hide it, calling her and other muggleborns all sorts of things when he was with other Slytherins, what was up with that? Why had he acted that way? How did the teenage mind even work? Now Severus wanted nothing from Lucius. He knew Lucius was a pitiful nothing and Severus was a much more powerful wizard than Lucius could ever hope to be. Severus didn't feel a need to answer him, instead just staring coldly at Lucius.

"You know that nothing good will come out of that," Lucius told Severus in a soft voice that was supposed to be caring, but the thick layer of smirk just made it that laughable. "You should get your loyalties straight Severus."

"I have," Severus told him shortly. "And they are not with you."

Lucius looked surprised, almost shocked. "But Severus, if you ever want to be strong, if you ever want to be powerful, in our cause."

Severus honestly felt like laughing, he was smirking and he could barely contain his chuckle. Lucius's words were too amusing.

Several Slytherins were looking at him in utter fascination, a particularly small girl with glasses and dark brown hair seemed to be staring intensely at him, so much that she actually didn't see Lucius taking a step forward and bumping into her. "Get out of my way!" he sneered pushing the girl violently away. His annoyance made Severus laugh.

Lucius's grey eyes squinted in a mixture of puzzlement and anger, as he seemed to be considering before at least speaking again. "So you think this is funny do you?"

"The situation, no," Severus smirked. "You, yes."

The fury showed at once in Lucius's face. "You don't mean that."

"I don't have time for this," Severus simply shrugged Lucius off, and simply dismissed him as he walked towards the exit of the common room.

"You get back here!" Lucius yelled.

"No," Severus sighed suddenly feeling pretty tired. "I think not." Just as he stepped out of the common room he managed to twist his neck to send a last glance at Lucius. "I know you can't wait to get out and join the Dark Lord as of now, but when you do and after a while discover it isn't what you thought it was, don't say I didn't warn you, because believe me, there will be a time where you will wish you never even considered going into his service." And the entrance closed, hiding the flabbergasted look in Lucius's face.

It was surprisingly easy just to walk out on Lucius, easy and relieving in fact, it just made Severus fell good.

Lily waited for him down at the Library looking as suspicious as ever, as she looked at him with sharp green eyes.

Severus tried to send a smile, though he could fell it ended up looking both defeated and forced.

Lily raised an eyebrow, and then returned the smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. Gesturing for him to come sit down. As he did, she reached over to pull up his parchments about transfiguration, and his over scribbled book.

He had difficulty stopping himself from looking at her. The rays of sun playing in the dark red hair, her green eyes gazing upon the texts while her small elegant hands traced lines in his texts. She was such a precious treasure, how could Severus have ever tried to throw her away? She was really something worth protecting. He remembered when he was young, the sort of burning desire for her, raw and uncontrollable, making him doing truly stupid things, keeping him from thinking straight when ever she was involved. It was not remotely like the feeling he felt now, he didn't feel the raging flames at all, but instead, a warm, more rounded, less sharp and hurting feeling, he remembered when he was even younger, merely a child, his ever lasting appreciation for her friendship, how he had been all alone but her, but it didn't matter because he did have her. It was more like that feeling, now he just wanted to stand by her side and protect her forever, see her flourish and that would be more than enough. It was no longer romantic love, not burning teenage love that made people stupid, yet. it made it more pure and worthwhile. He would stand by her side and protect her forever, not matter what she chose. Lily looked quizzically at him and tried to break the tension present between them with some jokes. Severus had never really been able to do jokes, and absolutely not in the last years, but he was willing to smile at Lily's. to the best of his ability, which wasn't much. Fortunately she seemed to have incredible patience with him, though it seemed a bit strained and as if she herself couldn't even really laugh of her own jokes.

He was staring at her again, not that sort of stern concentrated stare he was so known for, but a dazed unfocused one as he just watched the green eyes reading inside of his books with a slight frown, it looked like there was a lot of thinking going on in there, she was most certainly not unintelligent, the green eyes always promised life behind them.

"Sev!" her voice snapped him out of it.

He blinked and looked embarrassed away, discovering he had been looking yet again. "Yes." He answered politely.

"You didn't hear a word I said did you?" she asked.

Ashamed Severus shook his head.

"wow, your really gone." She commented. "It's not like you."

Severus looked at her, a contrite look on his face. "I'm... sorry." he murmured.

Again Lily stared wide-eyed at him, he could tell, that by judging her reactions, that he was not even supposed have manners. This irked him. Granted, he only used them when he saw fit, but he still had them, or was that something he had gained with age? He furrowed his brows as he tried to figure that one out.

"You, are sorry?" she asked in a quiet voice, as if that was a word not usually to be heard from his mouth. Okay, Severus knew that was true to himself, he rarely apologized for anything.

"Did you even see that Malfoy is in here?" she pointed across the room where the blond looked at them with squinted grey eyes.

"So?" Severus asked honestly confused.

A weird sort of smile came unto Lily's face though it was more confused and bewildered than happy. More like the sort of smile you would give to a mentally unstable person while you yourself figure how to get out of the danger without upsetting that said mentally ill person. "He won't be happy you know." she trailed off.

"Why would I care?" Severus asked again.

Lily opened her mouth to reply, looking wide-eyed at him, and then closed it again. "Let me see that." She reached for the parchment Severus had been sitting with, and laid it over his book. Her eyes wandering from the parchment he had just written on, to his old notes in the school book, and back to the parchment, while she frowned. She was clearly comparing them, though Severus refrained to point out how obvious it was.

With a satisfied though a little unsure smile Lily handed his parchment back while slumping back in her chair, she let out a deep sigh.

Silently Severus returned to his book, not making any comments.

After a while Lily bit her lip as her eyes fell on some students who had just entered the Library. Warily she looked at Severus looking a little bit guilty, but yet determined, which was lost on Severus, yet there was little to prepare him had he seen it anyway. "Hey Remus!" Lily called across the room. "Would You mind coming over here for a second?"

Severus choked behind his book, looking at Lily as if she had just lost her mind. And Lily just shrugged at him in return. A light, though not genuine, smile playing on her lips, as he was once again succumbed to that observing gaze.

"What's up Lily?" Lupin asked with a raised eyebrow as he came over. "Oh.. hey Snape." Lupin flustered unsure by the sight of him, a redness starting to crawl up his neck.

Severus just starred very sullen at him in return, and then he felt Lily's eyes on his face and turned to look at her observing eyes, suddenly he felt trapped.. he did not want to appear rude in front of Lily, but he did not want to seem the least bit friendly towards the werewolf either.. he hated werewolves and he hated Lupin as a person in general, it was the worst possible combination, his face retrieved in disgust before he could hide it as he looked at Lupin. And he couldn't contain the sneer playing on his lips as he knew he was only that close at scowling.

"Oh thank goodness." Lily's voice sighed relieved, a glimmer of recognition flashing in her eyes.

"Uh, hi, Lily...," Lupin said uncertainly,"You wanted something?"

"Sorry Remus." She smiled her apology to him. "I just wanted to check something." She held a hand to her chest as she seemed to be sighing a breath of relief. "Thanks for the help."

"umm, " Lupin hesitated, "Your welcome?" he said with a questioning tone. He cast his eyes at Severus who was sending him a dark look before darting back to his friends. "See you around." he gestured hastily at Lily as he turned and fled.

Once the werewolf was gone Severus stared at Lily, stunned. What on earth was that about?

Lily tried to duck her head down in her book as she chuckled. "Oh I'm sorry, I really am." She apologised in her chuckle. "I just needed to be sure."

Severus just continued staring blankly at her, and as she looked up on him she seemed to get another fit of laughter. "Sev, that face! That expression is hilarious on you." She said with her mirth colouring her tone.

Severus blinked, "I guess...," he said in a incredibly unsure voice, never having felt so much on thin ice before.

"Oh Merlin,." Lily exlaimed. Slightly embarrassed, she tried to cover up her laughter. "Stop acting weird!"

"Me?" Severus asked. "I am not the one laughing as a blithering idiot." His tone was rather serious and somber.

Lily burst out in laughter again, keeping her hand close to her mouth, looking with embarrassed yet genuinely amused eyes at Severus. Her mirth was rather infections, and Severus couldn't stop himself from responding. A small smile tugged in Severus's lips, and as she bit back her laughter looking pretty ridiculous, a soft chuckle escaped Severus's lips as well.

It was obvious that some of the tension between them had been broken. Lily stopped looking as suspiciously at him, and for a moment Severus relaxed and enjoyed himself for the moment.

Though in the end, he knew he would have to let her go. He did not want to be the looming hawk constantly shadowing Lily. He would not cast a shadow over her or be the reason she could not flourish because he wanted her safe. He mentally grabbed himself and forced himself away as he firmly told himself that they were within the safe walls of Hogwarts, and Hogwarts had not yet fallen. He silently reminded himself to find that vanishing cabinet and destroy it for good, he could see that it was the only reason for Hogwarts' fall.

His thoughts also went to the Wolfsbane potion. He would have to start on it this evening; location would not be a problem. Slughorn had allowed especially gifted potion students to use the potion labs for their own experiments, and Severus was one of the few who had ever been allowed to make potions down there without supervision. Slughorn had always been the one to grant his most gifted students with all kinds of favours as he collected them into his Slug club. Then Severus remembered he had sort of fallen out of favour with Slughorn as he knew of his desire to join the dark lord. It his past it had never really just suited Severus fine as he had never liked those Slug club meetings to begin with. As much as it was a great chance to be acknowledged, and as that was all that his younger self wanted, it had more felt like exposure, as all of those rich Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws would send him dark looks and sneer at him, trying to make him aware that he didn't belong there. Even the older Slytherins who were well aware how poor he was: worn-out uniforms and old books were a dead give away. It had never helped that James Potter and Sirius Black were part of the Slug club as well. Severus, of course, could have said no at the time, but his foolish insensible need to be acknowledged had made him turn up each time anyway.

Another question filled Severus's mind: how was he to get the information about the Horcruxes to Dumbledore?

In his mind he had already concluded that the only reasonable thing to do would be to get the information to Dumbledore somehow and then let Dumbledore deal with the burden. At the same time, Severus did not want Dumbledore to know that it was he who had sent the message. He did not want Dumbledore to question him, and he absolutely did not want Dumbledore's sympathy. In reality, Snape wanted absolutely nothing to do with the man, he did not want to see him, he did not want to hear about him, he did not want to be bothered by him in any way imaginable. In some ways, Severus just wanted Dumbledore to disappear into thin air. Severus could not help but feel sense of deep betrayal when his thoughts came to Dumbledore. A sense of being dirtied and ridiculed, being forced to do something he really didn't want to, and being angry at Dumbledore for getting himself into such a big no-win scenario in the first place. It had all been the old man's own fault. Even so, Severus could not hate Dumbledore, he was in debt to the man; without Dumbledore Severus would have been far worse off in his previous life, in that life Severus owed Dumbledore everything. Albus had both trusted and believed in him, more than anyone else on the planet.

But thankfully that needn't count right now.. Because nothing had yet happened.

Still, he needed to get the information to Dumbledore, and he needed to do it in such a way that Dumbledore believed the information genuine. Severus wandered the gardens alone, as he thought of means of communication. He stopped as inspiration came to him in a flash. Why it was all so simple really! It was easy for him, easy for Dumbledore, a message sent this way would have to be genuine, and there would be no telling that it was Severus who had been behind it. Why, Severus had used the same method once before in his previous life while nobody trusted him, and it had worked spectacularly. It was foolproof. Smirking, Severus gathered himself and went inside the castle to find a secluded secret place for his plan.

It became an unused classroom in the far end third floor of the castle where no students ever came because there was just nothing going on in this part of the castle. The castle was so enormous that many a room was rendered dusty and unused, specifically the third floor, which was nothing but dust and seldom used items.

Soft rays of sun had just begun to sink, but it would be hours before they disappeared. They came through the windows, lighting up the flying dust that moved with each of Severus's movements. The room was huge, you could have a whole group training combat in here. The height to the ceiling and a large window revealing the forest beneath him. Barely breathing, Severus raised his wand.

"Expecto Patronum," he whispered. There was no need for yelling, and the emotion was not that hard to conquer; he just had to think of this morning. Lily had picked up a white flower and had turned around smiling at him. She suggested that he probably would look a lot less gloomy if he tried to put more colour in his dress code. Severus had almost been choking, mistakenly gotten the imprint of a Gilderoy Lockheart bathed in rainbow colours in his mind, and Lily had giggled playfully at him.

A beautiful silver doe burst from the tip of Severus's wand, and was half-prancing, half-floating around the room, leaving a trail of silver light.

Severus never learned to really understand how something this beautiful and elegant could ever be produced from what was him. The beautiful doe blinked at him, its long silver lashes giving it a completely innocent appearance, the long thin body parts and legs almost made it look fragile, though its smooth, floating movements made it seem like anything but. It was like nothing could ever destroy this magnificent, magical creature. Severus frowned as he concentrated. He had to tamper a bit with this creature, however much it may hurt him, but the tampering was in his mind an improvement to the overall picture. The one thing about the Patronus Severus had been able to grasp and understand was the way it spoke verbally, with his own rasp voice that sounded so odd and strange coming from this creature. He changed the voice, to a softer, more pleasant voice. A femine voice, but not a voice Dumbledore would recognize. Severus remembered a soft warm voice that sounded so welcoming and loving as he had heard it last; the voice of his mothers spirit.

The doe nodded at him and then took a run around him before running for the door, disappearing through it, on its way to its destination, to Dumbledore's office.

Relieved, Severus sighed, at least the Horcruxes were a problem out if his own hands now. He didn't know any more than what that Patronus would tell Dumbledore. This problem was no longer Severus's problem, just like that, he wouldn't have to worry.

Wolfsbane potion, however, which he would have to go down and start on right away. He didn't have all of the ingredients right now.

Severus clenched his jaw at the thought, but it was obvious that he would actually have to steal from Slughorn's private supplies. Severus remembered his own supplies being stolen from in the past. It had felt like being ridiculed, and it felt like a breach on his own privacy that somebody went to his own private locked cabin. The irony was not lost on him that he had to do it himself now. After a moment he reminded himself that it was for a good cause. It was purely to get rid of danger to the students and ensure that no one would get bitten by some foolish, stupid accident. Fair enough, nothing had happened in his previous lifetime, but things had already started changing now, so why take any chances? She was on the same school ground as a werewolf too, what if she decided for an outing? he could never risk such a thing.

Severus thought that the written transfiguration exam went fairly well the next day; at least he knew all of the answers, the question was if he had elaborated enough. The only written exam left would be potions. Severus was enough of an orderly person to read up upon it, after all, with his old notes it was a quick and easy task, but it would probably be unnecessary.

It was. The written potions exam was ridiculously easy; Severus could not fathom why so many students failed in this, or had conniptions over such things - it just went to prove what kind of dunderheads he had been teaching, and then there were the practical exams.

_Please don't insult me like this!_ Severus thought with exasperation. He went to his exam in charms, and it really was ridiculously easy. The exam in potions no challenge at all. Where the recipe given was something he could easily improve, he did.

As the practical exams moved on, so did the time and the brewing of Wolfsbane potion. At last there was only three days left before full moon, and he had to get Lupin to drink it somehow.

He had devised a plan. Lupin would never drink something out of his hands, and Lupin would never believe his explanation of what the Wolfsbane potion was supposed to do. Right now there was no cure and no relief for the werewolf's curse. Severus was almost ready to feel sorry for Lupin, almost.

Severus tied a vial with the potion to the feet of an owl, scribbling down what looked like an official ministry letter and a Saint Mungo's staple. He wrote instructions that it was a new safety issue developed by the ministry, and that Lupin was supposed to drink it the moment he received the owl, and that the ministry would know if he didn't do it.

And Severus made sure Lupin got it while his friends were sitting tightly around him. If Lupin had been alone he probably would throw the potion away, but with his friends around him, they would make him drink it. Probably partly because it smelled so bad and they would get a laugh out of Lupin face grimaced in disgust.

He smirked as he actually saw Lupin drinking it, and Lupin wrenching his face in disgust. Severus chuckled lightly, earning a strange look from Lily; they had eaten breakfast together everyday since he had came back. She had insisted, though her behaviour clearly told him that she very well knew something was off. He knew she actually did it to keep an eye on him while trying to collect clues, and it was a daily occurrence he got the sense that he was being tested, and it was not always that he passed. His first impression that she had decided to pursue it to the end was only being proved to be to true. Though there was one major thing that ensured he didn't mind, as she put extra effort in keeping an eye on him, he could keep an eye on her without appearing more suspicious.

An eye for an eye.

Severus sighed deeply. He had calculated all other options. Lupin had to drink the potion very shortly before full moon. To send it to him with an owl was no longer an option; there would be a fair chance Lupin wouldn't drink it if he received it when he was alone. After all, the smell of the potion was horrid, as Severus well knew.

Severus could only think of one viable option, that was to give Lupin the potion personally, and make sure that Lupin drank it. The last dose was the most important, without it, all the others were useless. Quickly Severus walked to the corridors between the entrance and the library, knowing full well that Lupin would soon be found there.

Sure enough, a figure was walking rather quickly towards him. "Lupin," Severus called out as he strode towards Lupin.

Lupin stopped, surprise evident on his face as he looked at Severus. Severus could see that Lupin was fingering with his wand in his sleeve, and was in fact holding his wand at the ready.

"Put that wand down," Severus sneered, gesturing at the wand. "I am not out to hurt you."

Lupins hand moved away from the wand, probably in a gesture of goodwill towards Severus, but Lupin's body still screamed apprehension. "Now is really not a good time," Lupin told him off.

"Oh, believe me I have no wish to keep you, beast," Severus told him calmly. "I was just supposed to give you this and make sure you drank it." Severus held out a vial of green hot liquid. He could see how Lupin's nose wrinkled in sheer disgust.

"Can't we just skip that? You just tell whoever that I drank it, and I will stand by it," Lupin asked hopefully.

"Nice try," Snape smirked. "But you are going to drink this, right now!"

Lupin looked puzzled at him, and then his eyes widened. "You!" he pointed an accusing finger at Severus. "That potion has nothing to do with the Ministry! I knew it! You sent it to me!"

"And?" Severus asked.

"What does it do? What did you do to me!" Lupin started to panic. "Are you out to kill me Snape?"

"Please," Severus sneered back, " If I wanted you dead, you would have been a long time ago," Severus waved Lupin off. "If I wanted to poison you, I would have slipped something untraceable into your morning goblet pumpkin juice. I am capable."

"Then what does it do?" Lupin was moving backwards.

Severus frowned. "If I told you, chances are you wouldn't believe me. Let's face it, I am not someone you would normally trust."

"I am _not_ drinking that!" Lupin stated.

"Yes you are," Severus now looked serious and coldly at Lupin. "It doesn't matter to me if you do it yourself or if I force you. You are going to drink it."

Severus could see that Lupin was about to make a run for it. Even before Lupin turned around, he quickly drew his wand and swung it in a wordless body binder, rendering Lupin standing still, completely defenceless, frozen in the middle of turning around.

"Now, Lupin," Severus walked closer. "Either I am going to force the potion into you now, or you give me a nod which means you are going to take it yourself. If you try and trick me, I'll just body bind you again and force it down your throat!"

Lupin didn't move for some time, but then slowly gave a nod.

Severus waved his wand, counteracting the spell, and stuffed the potion into Lupins hand. He could see Lupin was just about to throw it away.

"I am warning you," Severus sneered. "I have more than one vial of that."

At last Lupin put the vial to his lips and swallowed the potion quickly with a distinct look of disgust plastered on his face.

"See. That wasn't so bad," Severus smirked.

"If your intention was to see me suffer," Lupin said while he was shaking his head, clearly trying to get rid of the taste. "Why didn't you just colour my shirts pink or something like that, like normal pranksters?"

"What, like you?" Severus asked. "Please Lupin, do I look like a prankster?"

"Then what was that potion for?" Lupin asked.

"You will see," Severus smirked. "Now I suggest you hurry up and get to that willow, beast."

"What did you do Snape?" Lupin asked, in a terror-filled voice.

"Nothing you won't mind," Severus answered shortly, not even looking at Lupin as he walked away.

"What is it? What did you do! TELL ME!" Lupin yelled.

Snape simply turned his head to look at Lupin with a smirk on his lips. "Better get a move on Lupin." he said over his shoulder, gesturing at the setting sun.

Remus was shaking as he sat in the shrieking shack. He was terrified. What was that potion? What did Snape do?

A big black dog was already lying at his feet, resting its heads on its legs. The Stag was lying down on its legs as well, in a resting position. Mindlessly, Remus stroke a finger over the Rat in his lap; he could feel his hand shaking. The rat looked questionably at him.

"Guys," Remus spoke to the animals. "I think tonight is maybe going to be rough. That potion you made sure I drank," he swallowed. "I think it was intended to affect me during full moon, and I don't know in what way, but I might become even more dangerous."

The dog gave a sympathetic sound as it put its big head against Remus's hand. The beautiful proud stag just looked silent and supporting at him, not moving away as much as an inch. Should Remus tell them that Snape was the real source of the potion? Something held him back from doing that. He didn't know if it was fright or uncertainty.

Suddenly, and without warning, the moon shone through the clouds and hit him straight on.

The moon beams themselves felt like burning rays upon his bare flesh, pain soared through his body, and he screamed in agony, though something was amiss, something was different. He felt every moment of his painful transformation now, the snout lengthening and narrowing, his hands curling into paws before his terrified eyes whilst there was no fighting the transformation into beast for him, his spine being twisted and turned while his muscles stretched out and lengthened. He growled in pain while being forced down on all fours on the floor, his bones stretching in unnatural ways, his skin burning, Merlin how it hurt!

It was not usually like this, he shouldn't feel so much pain! _What did you do Snape! What did you do to me?_ He asked in his mind as the pain continued and he screamed out. It felt like a thousand knives were penetrating his bones, and his insides was burning hot, he felt like he was going to throw up from all the pain, something he had never tried doing transformation. Before it all suddenly stopped as quickly as it had begun, and Remus collapsed on the floor. _What did you do Snape?_ he asked again.

Shaken, he tried to compose himself as he laid on the floor, still feeling that sense of nausea and like he was honestly going to hurl, he just felt like curling himself together which was what he did, feeling scared and confused over all of this, without meaning to he let out a sob as he curled even tighter together..., and then again it hit him.

Something was wrong with this picture, very wrong. Remus forced his eyes open and was met with a world in black and white. A dog stood above him, looking at him in puzzlement. A stag towered far above his head as it had stood up.

Remus shook his head. What was it that was so wrong? He looked puzzled at them with watery, scared and confused eyes. Was he even a wolf now? He should be. He tried to force himself to stand up but instantly fell over landing directly on his snout. So, he did have a snout he realised. He could see that he did have four legs, paws and, here he turned to look at the rest of himself. There at the base of his spine he could feel that he did indeed have a tail. The logical conclusion was the he had transformed into a wolf. He was confused trying to figure out exactly what was wrong . Then it hit him. He should not be able to consciously ask himself that while being in this transformed state! he should not be able to make the assessment that he had a tail, or notice how freaking weird that fact was! He was supposed to have nothing but animal instincts. His mind was clear and his own. Astounded, Remus looked at his pack trying to figure how to communicate these news. The pain had been stronger because the animal instincts hadn't been taking over, and he hadn't used his concious on battling the sneering beast as much as the pain, that had always been the main issue, battling the vile instincts. Now there weren't any present, and he could honestly feel how much this transformation really hurt. It made sense.

The dog carefully moved closer, as if it wanted to see if he was okay.

The wolf just let him, looking knowingly at the dog, trying to communicate that he was actually in complete control. The stag also moved closer, its head bowing down looking at Remus.

Remus just looked back, blinking only once, which made the stag blink in return.

Moments went by, and the three animals looked very puzzled at the wolf's behaviour, as it didn't demand freedom, didn't howl, snarl, or howl for its friends while running straight for the exit, desperate not to be trapped. They were confused at the lack of reaction from their friend the wherewolf. This was not his normal pattern of behaviour. No snarling, no biting, no extreme wild temper.

Remus tried to stand up on his paws again, taking a few clumsy steps. It was like a baby taking its first steps, Remus, as himself was totally unfamiliar with this body. The wolf had always acted on its own instincts, and he was now only clumsily tripping around over his own legs. His coordination was completely off, and he did trip more than once. He didn't know how much time had gone by, only that the animals had been watching warily. Embarrassed Remus became aware he did probably appear drunk or drugged or something. Just to top that theory off, he toppled over his front paws to land on the floor with a thud so he was just laying there on his side, looking at the three animals around him from the floor, at last the Stag ventured to the other side of the room, in safe distance from the wolf and transformed itself into a sixteen year old messy haired boy.

At once the dog was on his legs and placed itself between the boy and the wolf, even though Remus had made no move towards James other than looking at him, and now fought himself up on the legs, which were a bit tricky actually, but at last he stood there looking with his head askew at James.

James stood completely still, watching the wolf as he took a deep breath. "Remus," he then spoke. "Moony can you hear me?"

Remus nodded.

James gaped. "And you understand me?"

Again Remus's only option was to nod as he looked at James. The dog and the rat were looking straight at the wolf.

"Bloody hell," James looked flabbergasted as he ran his hands over his head, ruffling up his hair. "Are you in full control?"

Remus put his head askew, he had no idea how to answer that; he wasn't even really sure. He had never been in control of his wolf form, ever. He didn't know what it was supposed to feel like. He growled, a bit annoyed.

At once the big black dog raised itself in a warning manner.

Remus sat back, gesturing to Sirius that it was okay, he didn't mean it like that.

He looked down, away from the dog as he thought, how he could explain that his mind was right now intact. He got an idea, and tryingly, swiped his paw across the very dusty floor, drawing very specific symbols in the dust before stepping back so Sirius could have a look. The symbols was letters and spelled out one word.

_"Heya" _

Shocked the black dog looked at the wolf who looked at the dog in return.

The stag was once again back and moved forward to see the word, as well as the rat which was running about. All three animals were now staring at the wolf, who just sat there and looked back at them with intelligent, calm, calculating even warm eyes with a single tear rolling down in the fur.

"Snape!"

Severus had no wish to respond to the voice, so he quickened his pace, but it was of no use. The owner of the voice was running fast. That was the trouble with Wolfsbane potion; it made it so the user became a lot healthier from the transformation a lot quicker. At the moment Severus thought it was an unfortunate side effect. He stopped as Lupin caught a firm grip on his shoulder. With a sigh, Severus turned around. "What?"

"You..., You...," Lupin had to catch his breath. "Last night. That was your doing wasn't it? It was that potion!"

"Lupin, you surprise me. I thought you would have been pleased." Severus sneered, trying to turn away as he wanted to avoid any kind of commotion.

"So it was you!" Lupin looked beyond shocked at Severus. "But why?"

"I didn't do it for you!" Severus sneered of him. "Let me be honest beast, you frighten me, you terrify me! Not you, but that thing you turn into, it's a horrible beast! I would be happy to kill it if I wouldn't land in so much trouble! The idea of you running around the school grounds with your little friends at full moon while not being in control is not a thought that appeals to me," Severus smirked at Lupin's shocked expression. "Yes, I know of your little escapades and I know of your friends illegal animagus forms."

"What!" all the blood seemed to be leaving Remus's face, to Severus's great satisfaction.

"How..., what are you going to do?" he asked in a fearful voice.

Severus decided to let Remus live in fear for some moments before answering after a good long pause, being very satisfied that Lupin was paler than himself, and almost shaking with fear.

"Nothing," he then said.

"Huh?" Remus looked dumbfounded at him. Severus couldn't believe that this was a person he'd once considered to be clever? Severus rolled his eyes.

"I said nothing," Severus told him curtly.

"So you're going to let this hang above our heads," Lupin tried to get to a conclusion, clearly confused.

"Not really," Severus shrugged. "Unless you tell your friends, it will be hanging over their heads. But I am not interested in such childish behaviour."

"But why, then?" Remus asked. "Snape, I don't understand you."

"Lupin, some things are just more important. There is a war coming and there are no such thing as being neutral, either you're with the Dark Lord, or you aren't. I sure as hell am not. So, to have such powerful wizards expelled now before they are properly educated and powerful enough to help seems pretty dim-witted to me." he snorted. "If I'm lucky, one of you will make a martyr death and take a couple of death eaters with you, then it's worth it."

"So...," Lupin looked puzzled, "You are going to need us in the future."

"Believe me, we are going to need each other," Severus nodded grimly. "and next year, I expect you to take the Wolfsbane potion when I make it. I don't like you running around as a wild beast."

Lupin's faced turned into something that looked like a badly hidden smile, and as he opened his mouth, it did break into a fully grown smile. "You don't even need to demand." He smiled happily. "You have no idea what this actually means to me. I know it's not for my sake, but thank you Severus. Thank you so much!" His eyes were almost tear-filled.

Severus growled, since when had they come on first name basis? "We're not friends," he snapped. "Kindly refrain from acting that way. All I am going to do is keep making that potion because I don't want any more werebeasts running around the castle, and I need you for the future. That's it!"

Remus nodded, although he had that damn sheepish smile plastered all over his face and a stupid distinct twinkle in his eyes. He stood there in silence for a while, seeming like he had a question on his lips waiting to burst out.

"What?" Severus at last asked impatiently.

"How is it even possible?" Lupin asked. "I mean, how did you do it? Where did that potion come from?" he asked. "I never thought any kind of relief would ever come into existence. You know, having been infected, it's a curse, so, this cure, where, where did it come from?"

"I brewed it," Severus snapped at him shortly. "I invented it and I brewed it." He made up the lie. "And I am going to sell the formula this summer." He kind of felt bad for stealing someone else's invention, but then that someone else could use the time on further developing the potion. It was full of flaws as it was. And it could be a good ground base for the research of an entire cure. It was only in Severus's own best interests to get rid of those creatures that were werewolves for good.

"Severus, I knew you were good at potions but this?" Lupin looked disbelievingly at him. "You can only have had since October to develop it."

"Be glad that it worked as it should then." Severus looked stone cold at Lupin. "Be glad that it didn't kill you, or turn you even worse so that you molested your friends."

Lupin seemed petrified at the prospect, as he took a step away. "If there were any such chance, you wouldn't have given me the potion would you?"

Severus opened his mouth to tell him yes, but then closed it again. To say yes would be to betray himself and his own feelings, not to mention his situation. Severus didn't want to kill anyone, especially not an innocent, no matter how annoying they were. He did not want any more blood on his hands, he was done with that! His soul could not take any more of such things, and the mere idea of making the dangerous beast worse at a place filled with children filled him with terror and fear. Instead he closed his mouth, and shook his head. "No," he admitted quietly. "No, I wouldn't."

Lupin looked in wonder at Snape. "Severus, I...," Severus winced by the use of his first name.

"I'm sorry. You're al-right."

"Oh bugger off. I don't need your pity," Severus told him severely. "I don't want it, so kindly leave me alone."

"Sure," Lupin nodded his head, that glimmer in his eyes returning. "' 'Til first full moon of next year then, Severus" And he walked past Severus with that stupid happy smile on his dumb face.

Severus felt for a moment like he could crawl down in a deep hole and disappear. Lupin had clearly had gained some ridiculous idea that now they were friends or something, or at least that he owed Snape. The owed part might come in handy later, but Severus really did not want to deal with it while being in school.


	3. The bad impersonater

Severus knew that he was smiling.

It was strange to smile so easily, but it just seemed right. Maybe his mind was still convincing him that he was dreaming? In any case, the air around him was fresh and warm, the bright rays of sun were welcoming as he exited the dark stone castle, and just to think that the reason of his happiness was not getting through yet another day alive or without a student getting hurt, no, in comparison this was vacation time! He had just finished his last exam.

Practical Defence Against the Dark Arts, easy!

It was funny how easy it had been just to go with it. To be thrust twenty two years back in time, in the middle of his exams, and just go with it. But again, if anything it felt like vacation to Severus, though a so abrupt one he had to remind himself of it once in a while.

He had toyed with the idea of leaving Hogwarts, there was little the school could teach him, and he was knowledgeable enough to make it without N.E.W.T. grades.

On the other hand there were many reasons to stay, Lily for one. He wanted to keep an eye on her as long as possible, to be with her as long as possible. Now that he had her, and close, he hated the idea of not knowing where she was, no matter how irrational that may be. She even seemed to notice and started raising eyebrows at him when catching him at it, commenting once that she wasn't going to break or go anywhere, along with teasing him that he was suddenly becoming a gentleman. She spoke in such a way like it was something entirely new and surprising leaving Severus clueless to how he was supposed to act. He didn't even wish contemplating it, feeling so done with putting up charades, he didn't want to walk around putting an effort into appearing different than he was, especially with Lily.

The other reason to stay at Hogwarts was the secluded safety of the school grounds. The world outside was just not safe, and if he had to worry about trying to make a life for himself and do what he could to ensure Lily's safety and wellbeing at the same time, he would be nothing short of useless. This was the place where stuff happened, Severus knew it, and he wanted to keep an eye on it.

There was a third reason of cause, Severus liked to study. That so many dunderheads thought it was such a pain was a constant puzzle and annoyance to Severus.

What the hell was wrong with them? They had all their time devoted exclusively to gaining new knowledge and perfecting their skills, not having to work for their necessities forced to steal time and attention for learning. Did they really think that if he had a choice he would have picked grading essays and teaching classes over doing his own research? Not bloody likely!

How could they not see the delight in sitting down with a book about Defence Against the Dark Arts and having the time to go through it and understand it, and even have somebody explain the unclear parts in the text ensuring you understood it by assigning essays that powerful witches and wizards like the teachers took time to look at, every teacher being an expert of his or her own field, sitting through every last blasted essay pointing out what was wrong so the students could better themselves and gain so much knowledge.

Being able to study without disturbances was such a privilege and Severus absolutely hated seeing students taking this privilege for granted. It was what ticked him off the most in his own classes.

Students sighing, looking at the door, longing to get out, it happened all the time. Insolent little spoiled brats! It was both an insult to the privilege of such a school and to him personally!

Even to think about it made Severus' smile disappear and his chest twist bitter and annoyed as a growl escaped his lips. He could almost feel his, at that time constant, headache returning.

"Snivellus!"

Severus stopped at once and looked to his left. Potter was walking towards him in fast strides, Black and Pettigrew following closely behind. Severus gritted his teeth fighting this very immature, probably teenage, urge to simply pull his wand and hex their faces into something resembling slugs. Instead, Severus decided to dispatch trying to act like a teenager turning to his more rational adult side, which wanted to hex their faces until they became a gooey mash... huh, well... maybe that was what he should do then, only it would be the same as begging for a fight, giving Lily a reason to be mad at him and ultimately being more trouble than it was worth for around ten seconds of gleeful satisfaction. So Severus just frowned annoyed. "Potter," he muttered waiting until Potter stood right in front of him.

Potter crossed his arms accusingly. "What are you up to?" he asked glaring at Severus sourly.

Severus furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't know what you mean," he said.

"I admit, that display of tears was a really good ploy, but I'm not buying it anymore," Potter said firmly. "I'll not see Lily hurt because of your slippery tricks. This has gone on long enough!"

Severus narrowed his eyes. So that's what it was all about? All this time? It was so immature really and he remembered being fuelled just as strongly by similar things back in those days, it had been a fire raging inside of him, now it was coldness striking his chest. "So you're just mad that Lily spends more time with me than you?" Severus stated, grim satisfaction finding its way to his chest.

Potter looked like he had been sucking on a lemon. "No," he answered. "It's just... you tricked her and you know it!"

"I did no such thing," Severus hissed looking coldly at him. "I came to an understanding I did not have before. It caused me to change my view on things and Lily has accepted that." He hoped at least ...maybe not entirely accepted, but well, as long as she didn't hate him. There were all kinds of reasons to be happy.

"You're just using her!" Potters voice grew louder. "I know you Snape, you're worth nothing! You're just a cold arrogant git!"

Black looked worried at Potter, then his eyes turned to Severus they became hard. He stood by his friend to the end and the hatred in his eyes was undeniable and very real, apparently feeling no remorse about being so close to killing Severus mere months ago from his perspective.

Wormtail on the other hand, Severus felt like smirking, was whimpering like the scared little rat he was. He felt the greatest urge to play around with the lot of them and see if he could make Wormtail faint from fright.

"I may be a cold arrogant _git_," Severus put a mocking emphasis on the last word looking directly into Potter's hazel eyes. "But I can assure you, I'm not using her. My intentions are all perfectly clear." He held his breath for a moment as he tried to explain himself the best way he could. "She's my friend," he said softly though having trouble believing his words himself.

"You don't have any friends!" Suddenly James pointed his wand at Severus.

Severus did not make a move to respond, it would be ridiculous to point a wand back at a lovesick sixteen year old. Instead, Severus simply tiled his head looking at Potter smirking, knowing it was a way more intimidating.

Black looked confused at him while Wormtail trembled more than ever.

"Well, defend yourself!" Potter demanded.

Severus did no such thing, he just stood still.

"Prongs mate," Black tried to calm Potter down. "Be careful."

"Draw your wand!" Potter yelled straight into Severus' face. "I SAID DRAW IT!"

"No," Severus said simply with a devilish smirk on his lips.

"James, I don't think..." Black seemed bewildered by the situation unfolding itself before him.

"He's just toying with us!" Potter stated. He frankly started looking a bit mad. "Don't you see? He's just using us!"

"Exactly," Black looked darkly at Severus. "I know dark tricks when I see them Prongs, something's up."

Oh, so it was because Severus wasn't sprawled on the ground desperately trying to defend himself that they suddenly couldn't attack him? Teenage thinking was a concept that started to elude him, no, not just eluded him, it made no god damn sense at all!

"Leave him alone!"

Severus spluttered in surprise, that somebody would come and defend him against the Marauders was no longer that surprising. But not this someone! The voice wasn't even female. Potter, Black and Pettigrew all looked equally flabbergasted as they turned to the source of the voice.

Remus Lupin was striding firmly in their direction a hard look evident in his brown eyes.

"Moony?" Potter looked dumbstruck at his friend. "What the-"

"Put that wand away!" Lupin demanded.

Potter exchanged a shocked glance with Black before doing surprisingly as he was told.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lupin asked crossing his arms.

"I'm looking for answers," Potter told Lupin.

"What? By pointing a wand at Snape?" Lupin asked. "What's wrong with you?"

"Something is wrong Remus, and you know it," James said defiantly.

"Yeah, but that doesn't give you the right to walk around and hex people who are just minding their own business," Lupin shook his head.

"What's wrong with you now?" Potter asked Lupin. "Why are you acting like this all of sudden?"

Black looked defeated at his two friends. "This just doesn't feel right," he said.

"Why do you even care now?" Potter asked Lupin.

"I'm a prefect, I'm supposed to care," Lupin pointed at the shining badge on his chest.

"You never did before."

"But I should have!"

For some time Potter's and Lupin's eyes were locked before James calmed down and shook his head looking very confused and perhaps a bit frightened, he let his hand glide through his hair as he looked up in the sky with furrowed brows. Taking a last glance at Lupin and Severus he turned around to leave. "I'm out of here," he spoke to his friends over his shoulder.

Black stood dumbstruck for a moment shifting his gaze between Severus, Potter and Lupin before following Potter closely Wormtail making the rear, almost tripping over himself to get away from Severus and search cover with the stronger boys.

Severus has watched the exchange in utter fascination, never had he imagined the Marauders breaking up like that, it had been surreal. All of their behaviours had surprised him, how irrational Potter had been, like a teenager ...well, he _was_ a teenager, so figures. The older Lupin had been the one to keep Black in check for a good while, but to see the teenage Lupin do something similar was mind-boggling.

How Black had actually stopped to question all this, although Severus doubted it was because of sympathy, keen analyses of who had the upper hand was still surprising to see in Black. Only Pettigrew had remained the way Severus would have expected him to, whimpering away behind the big boys, finding himself on thin ice as the said boys were suddenly in a fight with each other, which probably would give him nightmares over the next week.

"Are you all right?"

And then there was Lupin, his behaviour had both been the most and the least surprising in this conflict.

Severus turned to meet his gaze. "I'm fine," he snapped.

"You're sure?" Lupin seemed to have lost his newly regained backbone and stumbled backwards a step, then huffed and stood up straight again. "I'm sorry about James, it's just how you act recently... well, it can come off sort of strange."

"Hah!" Severus snorted. "It's just because I'm the only one rational around here."

Lupin seemed to take a deep breath composing himself, Severus could see he was about to say something, though it took a while before he actually did. "Sometimes it's just..." Lupin had finally opened his mouth. "I'm starting to wonder if you're really Severus Snape or just a really good impersonator."

Severus stared surprised at him.

"Or a really bad one," Lupin added at last.

Severus could only continue to stare puzzled at Lupin silently for some time. Well, he was him... obviously... or perhaps not. He did not feel like his old teenage self, not one bit.

"Care to elaborate Lupin?" he finally asked.

"If you're not Severus Snape, I'm not sure I want to," Lupin hesitated.

Severus frowned annoyed twisting his neck before looking directly at Lupin. "I can assure you that I am indeed Severus Snape," he said firmly.

"You don't seem like the Severus Snape that I'm used to seeing wander around school grounds," Lupin pointed out. "You changed."

"If you're asking if I'm the same person who you used to watch being bullied, then no, I'm not that person," Severus said with a warning glint in his eyes. "But that doesn't mean that I'm not Severus Snape."

Lupin looked bewildered. "But why?" he asked.

"That's none of your business," Severus snapped. "People change! I got a new perspective of things and changed my mind, that's it!"

"Whoa!" Lupin lifted an eyebrow holding up his hand. "Did someone die?"

It was clearly meant as a joke to lighten the mood, but Severus could not help feeling the bitter irony of the words. Did someone die? A lot of people died, Lily, James, Black, that McKinnon kid he had just run into two minutes ago, Harry Potter in that other life would die shortly after Severus saw him last... Severus himself.

"Yes," he answered after a long pause.

Now it was Lupin's turn to look surprised, then abashed. "I'm sorry," he muttered.

Severus shook his head looking down, that's right, Severus was a dead person talking to another dead person. In front of him there was yet another dead person playing exploding snap with a heavily disabled person, who despite having no eyes, no legs and only one arm last time Severus saw him, now made some incredible physical stunts that demanded hand-eye coordination. To his left there sat a mentally ill person, Alice Weatherfield, soon to be Longbottom, deeply enthralled in a very difficult text, and a messy red haired Ravenclaw girl tripped over her. That klutzy Rawenclaw's story, in the world Severus had come from, was enthralled in mystery, maybe she had died, maybe not, maybe she had lived a long happy life, maybe something much worse than simple death had happened. There was no way for Severus to tell, yet he knew each option was equally likely, simply because of the dangerous world they were now living in.

"It's fine," Severus muttered darkly, looking even more darkly at all those dead people.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn't possibly save all of them! He knew that he had to change sides and fight, otherwise all who he had just marked in his mind as dead would truly wind up to be. How much would he be able to change? How much had he really been worth in that other lifetime?

"You know Severus, if you ever feel like a little challenge in Ancient Runes or something, maybe we could..."

"Don't even suggest such things to me," Severus utilised his best death glare. "We are _not_ friends."

Lupin shrugged. "Probably not, but you said you wanted to fight with us in the future, it wouldn't hurt to try and be friendly."

Lupin had a disgustingly good point, to make people trust him to at least a certain extent would become extremely handy in the future. Trouble was, Severus did not want to be friendly! It was stupid and childish, but he refused to stoop so low as to having tea and cake with Marauders, he simply refused, he would _not_ sit down and have an Ancient Runes quiz with Lupin, not in this lifetime!

"Yeah, right," he smirked sarcastically.

"Well, I suppose I'll see you later. Say hallo to Lily from me," Lupin turned around walking away waving his hand over his shoulder in a friendly gesture. "Remind her that I have her copy of 'Hogwarts: A History', will you?"

_What am I? Some kind of owl?_ Severus growled annoyed, and was just about to snap at the person who bumped right into him, but stopped as he saw the face of the twelve year old girl. Amanda Partil, died an August night killed by the Sectumsempra curse thrown by Yaxley, aged fifteen.

Severus closed his eyes and looked away fighting the stinging tears of shame and regret.

Well, at least not this time round. Yaxley did not know any such curse as Sectumsempra because Severus was not going to teach it to anyone, but then there were many other curses able to kill.

This was just marvellous, without lifting a finger Severus managed to screw up the Marauders summer vacation completely. It was only a few days after their confrontation and already time to go home, thus no time for the Marauders to calm down, and now they could barely get on the train without yapping at each other, how wonderful! It had honestly proven itself to be a very amusing pass time to screw around with their heads the last couple of weeks. The best part being that all Severus had to do was acting like the better man and it would leave the Marauders utterly confused showing once and for all what kind of dimwits they truly were.

It was absolutely hilarious whenever they tried a comeback, Severus had lived for so long under a constant death threat, both tricking and lying himself out of all sorts of real dangerous situations, Marauder time was vacation time for him, absolutely nothing worth being bothered with unless he deliberately chose to do so, which wasn't often. Why should he when he could finally finish all those books he never had the time for instead, though some of them wouldn't be released for at least another ten years, and be in the company of Lily.

Thinking about her his eyes immediately flew over all of the students, trying to catch a glimpse of her dark red hair. Finding her he let out the breath he didn't even noticed he had been holding, then gritted his teeth chiding himself for having become such a hen, of cause she was fine! As always! She was just standing with her Gryffindor dorm mates Emmeline Vance and Bertha Jorkins talking, like normal people usually did with their friends, and she seemed happy too, which instantly put Severus in a good mood. There was a time he would have been deeply jealous watching a scene like this, extremely jealous even, and though he may still feel a pang of it now, he had the good sense to shove it aside. He had sworn to stand by her side and let her do what she wanted, and that was what he was going to do. With a last glance at her he entered the scarlet train where he just managed to find an empty compartment.

He had not been on the Hogwarts Express since he graduated. When you have apparation, floo powder, portkeys and even that abysmal Knightbus should you really stoop that low, such things as trains did no longer seem like any kind of effective transportation, however when the vast landscape of Scotland unfolded itself outside the window, the forests, the rivers and the mountains, Severus lightly resting his head on his hand and lazily looking at it all, decided that he liked trains. The idea of sitting in the warmth knowing that the train carried him from one destination to another appealed to him. He remembered when he was younger, when everything had become to much, he had fantasised about simply boarding a train and let it transport him somewhere completely new and random, as tempting as it had felt to leave his routine to do just that, his better judgement had won. Never in his life had he been just sitting and watching landscapes like this, yet he did now.

"Sev?"

"Lily!" Severus smiled fondly and turned his head to see the red-head standing in the door looking around in the compartment.

"You're all alone in here?" she asked keeping looking around. "I know you said you weren't friends with those people any longer, but I thought at least..." she trailed off.

"I could use the peace," Severus explained still smiling fondly at her.

"Well, um," she blinked unsure. "I finished my round," she meant the round she had to make as a prefect naturally. "Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Of cause not!" Severus exclaimed gladly. "Please Lily," he gestured, "have a seat."

Amused Lily's eyebrow rose as she looked at him. "And there the gentleman appears once more," she commented.

Severus' smile disappeared, he had done it again, acted wrong. Merlin what had he done this time? "Nothing wrong with manners," he muttered under his breath.

Lily sat down in front of him with a frown. "Of cause you're right," she said and bit her lip. "But honestly Sev, this is not like you!" she blurted.

Severus' eyebrow rose as well. Apparently the time for tiptoeing around and testing was over and she started being blunt about it, he swallowed.

"Sev, what am I supposed to think of you?" she asked leaning back. "Honestly."

"I don't know," he responded.

Lily looked at him defeated. "What happened to you?" she asked. "What is it you're not telling?" She seemed determined to figure this out not matter the cost, only proving his earlier assessment to be true. "You are a different man." She looked sadly at him. "I know you're you, I made sure of it, but you're still different. You Severus Snape," she crossed her arms, "are hiding something, and when you are hiding something from me, experience tells it's not at all good and I really would want to know," she stated seriously.

Severus groaned dropping his head into his hands. "I hadn't thought about it, I had a lot on my mind," he whispered.

"So you admit there is something!"

Severus nodded.

"Then tell me now!" Lily demanded arms crossed, her green eyes glinting with a warning light. "I will get to the bottom if this! I want to know!"

Severus sighed, so like her son, when knowing she was kept out she wouldn't leave it alone until she knew what was going on, and even worse, in her eyes anything remotely connected to him always ended up bad. He was not ready to deal with this. "I promise..." He hesitated, "I promise I will tell you later, but I have to... I have to think. I don't even know myself what's going on to be honest. Just give me some time."

"What, so you can make up a reasonable lie I would believe? Though you know I can tell when you're lying!" Anger was now evident in her eyes. "You had weeks to do it already."

"No Lily," Severus pleaded, it was true he had often lied to her in his youth but had always been caught in the end. Now though, he was just done, lying took so much energy out of him, even being a master at it, and he really had none left, especially not in front of her. "Just... just trust me on this one."

Lily turned oddly silent regarding him warily yet pretty embarrassed. "I'm not sure that I can," she breathed at last.

Startled Severus sat back, he had gotten that impression already, he was used to have no one trust him at all, but having her say it out loud... it did hurt, though made sense. Of cause it was not just one little incident that had lost him her friendship long ago, no, it was a long string of events and all sort of factors had played in. He had lost her trust and because of that everything else had been smouldering.

There had been only one thing Severus wanted all his other life, her forgiveness, the one thing he couldn't have as it was far to late, but not here, not now, and he still wanted it so badly. How could he earn it though? How could she even give it when she didn't know, and how could she know without hating him? He groaned yet again, the last couple of weeks they had been circling around each other like two cats trying to figure each other out, and Severus was really tired of such nonsense "Lily I..." once again his throat was constricted. "I really want to tell you everything and I promise I will, but I need to figure out how, I need it to be right. Please!" he looked at her. "Just give me some time, I really am sorry and not just for the things I've put you through, I only need a little more time..." he begged.

Lily shook her head undecided. "How can I say no to that?" she looked seriously at him. "Look, I said that if you would just tell me I'd listen, and I promise you that I will, but this better be good, otherwise... what am I left to think?" she asked tired. "I want to believe you, but I'm just left to think you're covering up some trouble."

That was probably the understatement of the century, although this kind of cover up was likely not what she had in mind. Their situation combined with all what had happened from her perspective, what he had been up to at the time, he really had his work laid out before him, and the only thing he could do was at least try and be completely honest for once in his life.


	4. irrational fear

The biggest frown Severus made since he had been thrust back in time marred his face when he opened his suitcase. The Hogwarts Express was nearing Kings Cross and he would have to get out of his school uniform.

Quite frankly, he had entirely forgotten what kind of clothes he had owned at the time other than worn-out school uniforms. Nothing but oversized and extremely worn-out muggle clothes in gray, brown and black colours. The colours he did not mind, rather their state, which was exactly what was bothering him to no end.

Longingly Severus thought back to his old wardrobe, elegant quality wizarding robes, both practical and formal looking, dignified. These rags before him were barely worthy of street bums. If there was something Severus held in high esteem, it was his dignity, thusly it was with dread as he rummaged through his trunk trying to find something that would look at least somewhat presentable. Even Remus Lupin's Monday morning clothes looked less shabby than this, for Merlins sake!

After going through the few pieces of clothing over and over, foolishly thinking it would somehow get better if he kept searching, Severus finally settled on the big, worn-out black trousers and a gray shirt that his thin shoulders could barely hold but at least didn't seem to have ancient puke stains all over it. Last of all he found a belt to keep the trousers up and the shirt somewhat in place. Boy was he scrawny all of a sudden! He felt like a complete laughing stock, at least he could use the same shoes he did with his uniform. He hated the thought of waddling around in his fathers old ones. He may look a lot like his father, but he most certainly would never be his father! Actually Severus took an awful lot after both his parents, though apparently only their worst features, his fathers nose, his mothers sallow face and beyond thin frame and so on. Comparing to his father his own features had always been thinner and frailer, his shoulders to narrow, his hands unnaturally long, his feet relatively small for a man, especially considering his height, his father at least had a body mass wide enough to match their equally tall height.

Severus shuddered. His father… these were his fathers old clothes, he was alive again, wasting away in the house at Spinner's End, which Severus had now to return to.

What had happened last time around this summer vacation? Severus didn't go home at all he remembered, he had enthusiastically taken Lucius Malfoy's offer and spent the entire summer at Malfoy manor learning the Dark Arts and swallowing all Malfoy told him hungrily, of how he would be welcome in the Dark Lord's circle, and how in there a person would be judged on the worthiness they showcased rather than their background, that Severus belonged to them and was destined for greatness if he remained loyal.

Severus had a hard time fathoming how he could have actually believed that, manipulated and eager to be so.

_And now what?_ Well, he had to go home, there was nowhere else to go, and it would be only his formerly deceased, accursed father waiting for him. His mother had died when Severus was fifteen.

It felt childish to consider running away, that was something only stupid brats did, and it still remained, Severus had no money and nowhere else to stay.

He wondered how he had gotten his school supplies last time and then remembered that Lucius had oh so graciously given them to him, plus new quality clothes and uniforms. Merlin, he had been easy, hadn't he!

Grumpily Severus closed his suitcase and went out into the hallway just as the train was starting to slow down.

Lily greeted him with that vague innocent smile still on her face. Didn't she see how ridiculous he looked? His annoyance only seemed to make her smile genuine, recognition once again shining in her eyes reminding him that she knew and was used to it.

The other girls she stood with were eyeing him surprised however. Severus sent them a sour glare, which thankfully stopped them from making any stupid comments, even making them take a step back. Lily smiled at him apologising, noticing their continuing stares, though changing it to a small smirk in an instant, making Severus frown then roll his eyes to her amusement.

When the Hogwarts Express stopped and the doors opened Severus barely got to get out before he was pushed aside by a girl with too much energy at hand.

"FRANK! FRANK!"

Severus didn't really know why, but this fascinated him, it was Alice Weatherfield who had desperately pushed past all of them, he watched her running with open arms towards a 19 year old boy who greeted her with a big happy grin. Alice jumped and hugged him tightly to have him return the hug just as passionately and hard, as if they needed to be assured of each other's presence, before Alice put her hands around his neck pulling his head down to kiss him deeply.

The public show of affection both fascinated and embarrassed Severus. How could the two young people act so carelessly? They must trust and love each other a lot.

Severus tried to remember their exact situation. He hadn't known either of them until the very last days of the first Wizard War when he became a spy. Severus had delivered information to Frank before he had been tortured into insanity. He supposed they had been together at Hogwarts for a while and separated last year as Alice just finished her seventh year while Frank was pursuing the Auror education.

_Of course!_ That's why she was so overly emotional, to be an Auror trainee would always be dangerous, now more than ever. Severus had secretly always wished for someone to greet him like that one day. He turned to glance at Lily, if he could choose that person he definitely wanted it to be her, but found it unlikely. His eyes softened though as he felt peaceful happiness spreading through his chest, she was still here, and she didn't hate him. That was good enough for Severus. He just wished he could make her trust him again, it hurt to know that she didn't. Severus now started to realise that she had spent all this time with him out of worry and suspicion and hoped she enjoyed herself too, just a little bit. He hoped the familiarity she showed towards him, something no one ever had in quite that way, indicated that she really did enjoy spending time with him, and that her smiles was genuine, he thought they were, he used to be able to read her, but it was so damn long ago.

Severus followed her closely through the crowd, keeping his head down hoping to avoid any attention. He did not need people to see him in these rags and witness the fact that he could even wear anything like that. He stood back as Lily hugged all her girl friends good-bye and even called out for Lupin to Severus' great annoyance. Severus took a step backwards hoping to blend into the crowd, but no such luck, Lupin saw him nonetheless.

"Severus?" Lupin stared at him. "I hardly recognised you."

_And thank Merlin__ for that!_ Severus did not answer, just sneered and glared through the black curtains of his hair that had fallen into his face when he had tried to hide.

"Take a good care of yourself Remus," Lily interrupted them giving Lupin a hug. "Remember what I told you about rest."

"Yeah," Remus smiled. "I'll do my best."

"Good. We must find out why you get ill so often, there must be a rational explanation!"

Severus looked stunned at her. Was she really clueless? He had worked out the explanation when he was thirteen, well, he hadn't gotten it confirmed until he was fifteen, in the worst way imaginable, but he had suspected and he wasn't even in the same house as Lupin. How could she be this dim? This was Lily! She was smart!

"Yeah... sure," Lupin fingered nervously with his worn-out shirt, which wasn't nearly as shabby as Severus' and was at least the right size. Never in his life would Severus have thought that Lupin could have anything to offer him, nothing this banal at least. He would do a lot to borrow a set of Lupin's clothes. "And you take care as well," Lupin was looking directly at him now.

Again Severus chose to remain silent.

Lupin however seemed to have gathered courage and stretched out his hand demanding a handshake.

Severus looked questioning at it considering his options. There really were none, to not take the hand would be rude and rob Severus of yet another strand of dignity, something he was not ready to give up because of pride. So sighing he took it and made one firm shake before letting go quickly. "Of course, you wouldn't want your source of badly tasting potions to get compromised, _Moony."_

Lupin had the audacity to laugh of all things, roaring amused laughter. Did he think it was meant as joke? It wasn't, Severus never joked. "No," Lupin laughed. "No, that would be a shame." He grinned widely. "Also it's rare to find people who can call me Moony and still dare to poke fun at me." He shook his head still amused. "See you next term Severus," and he was gone.

"What did he mean by that?" Lily looked calculating again, making him feel like this was yet another test.

Severus sighed. "It's not really my place to tell Lily," he said truthfully. "It's kind of his business, not mine."

Lily regarded him the way she did since they started this, thoughtful and weighing, it was clear that all sorts of things were going on behind the emerald green eyes, finally she shrugged bemused. "All right."

Severus was surprised. She wasn't going to push this? Okay, well, that was good. Together they stepped through the wall. Severus followed Lily mindlessly until another set of happy people met Lily with open arms. Again, Severus took a step back trying to avoid attention.

Severus observed the parents hugging their daughter.

Marguerite and Harry Evans.

Dead.

Killed in Diagon Alley by a gang of Death Eaters while shopping for their daughter's seventh school year. It was when Death Eaters had started tackling all muggles who dared to venture into the wizarding world or were just found by chance in a wizarding area. Severus couldn't help but feel incredibly saddened by that. There were at least a couple of people he knew he would try to protect, though he did not know them well the other time, they were muggles and thusly had not been very high in Severus' estimation in the past. He had tried rather to avoid them, giving them snide remarks, appearing polite towards them only because they were adults and Lily's parents. As a child he had always been able to treat any adult with impersonal respect, not having any kind of role model and seeing them as bigger and stronger than himself, he had actually been scared and intimidated by them.

Suddenly Marguerite saw him over her daughters shoulder and regarded him puzzled.

Severus looked embarrassed down to the ground, before he knew what happened, the red haired woman let go of her daughter, moved towards him and pulled him into a hug.

Severus Snape was stunned and completely paralyzed in shock, not knowing how to deal with this kind of affection, he just stood there unresponsive and stiff as a board until the woman let go of him and started looking him over.

"Severus," she greeted him warmly. "How are you holding up? Lily wrote you were rather shaken."

Severus side glanced at Lily and was happy to see her blush embarrassed. Serves her right to go around spreading word about how he may or may not feel. "I'm fine, Mrs. Evans," he told her courtly but strictly.

Marguerite smiled amused. "Always the gentleman. Severus, if there is something we could do..."

"Actually," Severus had to clear his throat. It would be difficult to request anything from them, but the only obvious thing to do. He took a deep breath. "If you would be kind enough to transport me home... we live fairly close and I don't believe my father will come to pick me up."

"You're not going home to that man, are you?" Marguerite asked shocked. "Now that your mother..."

"I'm afraid there is little other alternative," Severus looked at her listlessly trying to suppress the memory of his mother's pitiful death which had happened a life time ago, but combined with the memory of her spirit seemed much more tragic and personal. Severus hadn't thought much of it in the past as he moved on. He had never seen her as anything but a hollow shell of a human being, only on occasion having a fit of yelling and screaming, which scared him, and then was back to being sullen. That was all Severus had grown up with. Now with the image of her spirit lingering in his mind and the knowledge that she loved him filling his chest he felt ashamed of that, ashamed and sad. Still, this was one person he was glad hadn't come back to life. She was happy where she was, Severus knew that for a fact, and as selfish as it might be, Severus could not stand the thought of seeing that hollow shell once more, knowing what was supposed to reside in it.

"Severus, you can't go back there, why don't you come home with us for a while?"

What? Why? Severus had never treated these people decently. "I do not wish to intrude," he stated firmly. This was starting to get uncomfortable for him. "Please just drive me home."

Severus could not stand the look he got from Marguerite, Lily and Harry. It was so full of sympathy that it made his stomach churn. How would they feel about it if they knew they would be housing a thirty-eight year old man and not a sixteen year old boy? Probably not all that well. Was he even a thirty-eight year old man or just a boy now?

Severus didn't really know the answer to that.

"Very well," Marguerite then said. "Please just consider it on the way. It would make us all feel a lot better if you just stayed with us."

Severus shoot a questioning look at Lily, her eyes responded _yes_. Thoughtfully he looked back at Marguerite but still could not accept her gracious offer. "I'll think about it," he said at last just to be kind. He could not take the offer, he simply couldn't do it.

It was a strange feeling to stand in front of this house again, some of it looking less shabby since the last time Severus had seen it, but most of it still looking like it was going to break down any minute. The garden was unkempt and withered, the windows were gray and blind because of all the dirt and wreckage, Severus wrinkled his nose in pure disgust at the gross trash laying everywhere half-rotten, empty bottles littering the most abnormal places. He had managed to make this house nice and liveable in the past, a sanctuary where he would not be bothered by any wizard, dark or white. Because of its muggle location no one would have thought to look for him there, though even being his place of solitude it had reflected his view on dignity in its neatness, so unlike this ugly picture.

This was enough for Severus. It was beneath his dignity to succumb to this and return to being a mere child, and neither would he go sleep on a bench in the park. He would have to go back to the Evans's and take them up on their offer after all. However, not before collecting the few things inside that were his, and the jar with money he knew his mother had hidden. He would not have them both give him a roof over the head _and_ pay for his school equipment when there was an alternative. Severus had come upon it by mere accident while cleaning the house out for inhabitancy. His father had never found it so it should still be here.

Just leaving his trunk outside fully intending to come back to it Severus approached the door firmly and fast, opened it and went inside.

"Who's there?"

Severus didn't even flinch at the hoarse, deep, ugly voice, he was more like annoyed. Great, of all times Tobias had to be awake now?

"Your son," Severus answered coldly. "It's my school vacation."

"I don't hav'a son." A very large and drunk Tobias Snape stumbled through the hallway, his dirty pants only partly zipped. He was filthy, and even that was putting it lightly, Severus swore he could smell the mans movements miles away. The air in the house was just as filthy and disgusting. No wonder Tobias was going to die of illness in less than a year.

It was strangely underwhelming to see his father. In his memory he had been a dark looming creature, something truly terrifying. Severus had fully expected to be scared, but felt nothing beyond disgust looking at this pathetic piece of walking meat, and it honestly surprised him. This was one person he would just let die. It would be an act of mercy.

Without bothering with that pitiful excuse of a man Severus walked towards the stairs that led to his old room.

"HEY YE!" Tobias Snape suddenly yelled. "Ye've no right te be'ere!" He staggered across the floor swaying on his legs. Severus could not stand the sight and looked away disgusted.

That was a mistake. He had been so busy ignoring the thing that was supposedly his father that he did not see it coming. It was stupid of him of cause, constant vigilance after all, but the entire month spent with Lily in this dazzling dream he had consciously chosen to lower his guard in an attempt to let her in. It meant that he didn't constantly take notice of what happened behind him.

A huge fist hit him and sent him down to the floor.

"Ye filthy li'le bastard!" Tobias yelled. "I thought I'd got'n rid of ye!"

Severus looked unemotionally up at the thing before him trying to fathom how someone with so little grace and lacking the tiniest shred of dignity could in anyway be related to him. Shouldn't he just hex him? Severus could do it wandlessly right here from the floor… but he was sixteen.

Sixteen, a Slytherin and supposed admirer of the Dark Lord, there was no way he would get expelled for a small hex to put that sack of fat and alcohol down, but it would be such a bother to go through all the trouble with the ministry. He graciously avoided the next hit by rolling to the side and got up in one smooth movement, just in time to dodge another punch.

"Stan' still so I can hit ye!" Tobias Snape demanded.

Severus lips twisted into a smirk, which then became a full grin as he stepped to the side to easily avoid another fist.

"Stan' still I tell ye!" Tobias seemed to grow confused and uncertain by Severus' behaviour.

Severus could not help it, laughter bubbled up his throat breaking free.

"Be quiet!" Tobias looked like a moron.

Why was this so funny? Severus continued laughing loud and hysterical holding his stomach. The cramps started to kick in forcing him to gasp for air, tears filling his eyes, yet he just couldn't stop.

"What's so funny?" Tobias looked stunned at the moment, not angry at all, just confused and frightened, which made Severus laugh even harder.

"I can't... I can't..." Severus bent double in an attempt to clear his airways still laughing hysterically.

"You!" he pointed at Tobias grinning madly. "You were my boggart!" His laughter rose a pitch higher. "MY BOGGART!" Severus was blinded by tears and disabled by his fit, there was no escaping the fist rising against him, hitting him on the head, followed by another sending him to the ground, a kick right in his stomach and another punch, and another...

And the entire time Severus Snape was laughing on top of his lungs, the hits and kicks didn't hurt, didn't even matter, he was not at all afraid. He had been in situations where he had feared for things more precious than his own life, he had not feared death then and neither did he now with this man hitting and kicking him, not in the least.

Severus did not know how long it lasted, just that as long as he continued laughing Tobias would continue hitting and kicking him. Suddenly Severus ran out for energy and his laughter broke up as his world turned gray and dizzy. Tobias gave him one last kick mumbling something about how that should teach him and staggered away.

Severus was just lying there trying to compose himself and suppress his tears. Using occlumency he emptied his mind of all those irrational emotions constantly getting in the way, it was a problem he always had. Once again he had allowed his emotions to rule him and cause unnecessary trouble, and now he consciously felt nothing as he gave himself a medical check up going through his entire body in his mind while lying on the floor.

Left foot fine, left ankle sore, possibly strained, left leg, hurts like hell, left kneecap, fine. He went over a similar procedure with his right leg and moved to his torso and chest. Ribs definitely strained, possibly broken, must not move around too much, do not wish to risk a punctured lung. Left shoulder fine, right shoulder... "Auch... aaah ..." jaw, definitely not fine.

Logical procedure from here? Get away from the source of danger. Next step, get to a safe place with people who can patch you up.

The only available option… the Evans's.

Gingerly Severus lifted himself up on the elbow, and then on his knee. He hissed in pain, his left leg was not well, and that was why he used his right leg and his arm on the wall to haul himself up the rest of the way. He closed his eyes for a while to get rid of the dizziness and could hear a deep, loud snoring. Tobias was asleep.

When you are injured the Dark Lord would want you to continue the mission regardless. Anything else is unacceptable but is suicide anyway so you must make the decision wisely, get out of the danger zone to face his furry which can both last and hurt, or continue to walk in the danger here and now.

But there was no Dark Lord whose fury he should be afraid of right now, to continue would be foolish. After opening his eyes Severus proceeded towards the door. It hurt like hell but he had been far worse. This pain was tangible and bearable so he took another step and another, out into a late June afternoon. The sky was painted dark orange which gave the landscape a warm sepia glow. He walked past his trunk, step by slow step. The wind felt icy cold as it blew against his body sometimes threatening to tip him over, but he couldn't let it do that, he had to just keep on walking, the ancient memories leading the way until he stood in front of a nice little yellow house with a white fence, an apple tree standing in the garden. He walked up to the door, raised his hand and pushed the electrical door bell.

Waiting a moment Severus could hear the cold wind rush through the old apple tree playing with the leaves.

Finally the door opened and a scream emerged from the woman in the doorway, a tall, thin, brown haired woman who Severus could not gather the energy to recognise right now. Running steps sounded and three other people came into view all stopping to stare at him.

Severus swayed a bit trying to focus and found himself looking deep into those startling green eyes which were filled with fright, worry and genuine concern... for him?

"Thank you," Severus croaked. Severus felt himself being caught before the darkness came and stole away the eyes.


	5. Give trust

Lily stared in shock at the picture before her feeling her heart pounding in her chest.

She had been sitting and eating dinner with her family then the doorbell rang. Petunia thinking that it was one of her friends went to open it, a moment later a terrified scream had sounded through the house. Lily and her parents threw everything down immediately and ran to the entrance where Petunia was standing white as sheet pointing a shaking finger at something in front of her.

Lily placed herself right behind her to have a look and gasped in shock. It was some kind of creature, ghoul-like and soulless judging from its movements and the look in its eyes. It breathed in staggering deep rasps, releasing hissing sounds in between. The skin was whiter than white, glowing pale in the darkness with fresh red spots standing against it framed by pitch black hair and eyes darker then the deepest hole. But something was amiss, something was oddly familiar about the strange creature and Lily forced herself to look at its face, really look at it, ignoring the blood dripping from its mouth and the soulless eyes staring back at her. A cold feeling spread through her chest.

Severus...

How could she not have seen it? It was the total lack of emotions that let him appear so nonhuman, making Lily terrified and sick with worry for his well-being. She met his eyes and found herself completely lost in them, like being held captive in a dark hole without escape, not a particularly nice feeling. It was like staring into a long endless tunnel leading into nothing but vast darkness, she was drawn into it unable to turn away… falling, drowning... Absolutely terrified she tried to gasp for air but couldn't. _Sev what's the matter with you!_ She mentally asked and was answered with two words in his rasping voice. "Thank you." Then the contact broke releasing her and Severus slipped away falling over.

Lily skipped forward and managed to catch him in one fluid motion, feeling him sink into her arms, preventing him from going down to the ground. Shocked she looked at her parents. "He's hurt!" she exclaimed listening to the rasp of his breathing as he lay limp in her arms. "Sev! Can you hear me? Sev!"

The body in her arms did not respond except for those terrible breaths which sounded like something coming out of a horror movie. What did they mean? Were his lungs injured, was it just his exhaustion... Merlin, what was she supposed to do!

"That horrible man!" Marguerite yelled angry. "I knew it! I knew we shouldn't have let him go back to him!"

"Calm down Maggy," Harry Evans told his wife and moved to Lily's side.

"But Harry! This is too much!" Marguerite responded upset. "We should call the authorities."

"Of course we should," Harry replied calmly. "But I don't think you should be yelling in front of Severus. We don't want to shock him even more."

Marguerite was just about the open her mouth, but let it go.

"Lily... do you mind?" her father asked.

Reluctantly she let go of the boy in her arms. He seemed so defenceless and needy lying there unconscious, leaning his head on her chest looking far from peaceful. She could feel his breathing against her shoulder in a steady rhythm, each outtake accompanied by a hissing sound.

Harry Evans scooped the boy up into his arms, it couldn't have been difficult, Severus was very tall, but he had always been thin and hopelessly scrawny, though it appeared far less distinctive these past weeks. Lily believed it was the way he walked, straighter surely, but it didn't change how thin he was. It felt like he weighed nothing when Lily had caught him.

She followed her father closely not taking her eyes of Severus even for a moment.

They walked into the living room where Mr. Evans put Severus down on the couch gently.

Lily didn't hesitate to sink on her knees by Severus' side covering his white, cold and clammy hand with her own. It felt like ice brushing against her fingers, so she took both his hands and started rubbing warmth into them. She did not dare touch his chest as his breathing suggested something to be wrong in that area.

"I'll call the doctor," her mother said leaving.

For a while Lily just sat there silently continuing her task of getting warmth into those cold hands, though it didn't seem to help much. Severus had started trembling and she carefully wrapped a blanket around him. Her family was fussing around behind her talking in hashed whispers.

"Lily," her mother called. "The doctor will be here any moment, you can let go."

"No," Lily said firmly holding Severus' hand tighter.

"Honey, you didn't finish your dinner."

"I'm not leaving him," Lily stated. "He'll be terrified when he wakes up and I'm not there, that's how he acted the last..." she trailed off.

"And I'm sure he will appreciate it, but you don't need to sit on the floor."

"I'm not leaving!"

Marguerite sighed and shook her head. "I'll get you some tea, it will do you good."

Finally some colour seemed to return to Severus' cheeks and his eyes started moving rapidly behind closed eyelids. "Lily..." he moaned hoarsely, hardly sounding like himself.

"Right here," Lily responded. "It's okay."

"Lily," he repeated apparently delirious. "Lily no... please, don't! No more..."

"Shh Sev, shh..." Lily whispered holding his hand firmer, trying to calm him, "it's alright." He shouldn't move around too much, obviously.

"No, you can't do that!" Severus' mumblings became more coherent. "How can you just let him die? No! He's supposed to be safe! Why me? Why shall I be responsible for both of your deaths?"

"Sev," Lily brushed a strand of hair away from his face with her free hand, making him turn away from the touch.

"No master, I'm faithful to you. You don't need to punish me!"

Lily furrowed her brows in worry and confusion. Severus was so vulnerable in this state, he couldn't control his word and reactions… but why would he say such things? What had happened, and when?

"Have mercy, please, let her go! HAVE MERCY!" Severus was trembling as his panic grew.

"SEV!" Lily yelled taking him by the shoulders and shaking him awake, "Sev! Wake up! You're dreaming!"

At once Severus' eyes flew open starring widely at her and she found herself faced with those tunnels again. A white trembling hand rose to gently touch her cheek and Lily grabbed it with both of her own to keep it in place looking into those pitch black tunnels, swallowing nervously.

"You're okay?" The words seemed to have come from the wrong mouth as it was Severus who asked. There was an undeniable sense of urgency in them.

"I'm fine," Lily assured him, moving one hand away to brush his chin. "It's you who is ill."

Severus nodded slowly in what seemed like understanding and shyly retrieved his hand, he lay back turning his head away to look straight ahead emotionlessly.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked after a while.

"I was manhandled by a good for nothing drunk," annoyance dominating in his voice. It made Lily giggle relieved, if he had the energy to be annoyed he was going to be fine. That was just typically him.

She sighed inwardly though, this was far from normal and not alright.

She knew Sev, knew him in a way no one else did, because she had watched him growing up and in all sorts of situations both good and bad, seen his short temper, his insecurity, his passion and even his compassion, though it was mostly directed towards her.

She remembered when they were kids.

_Lily had been crying and an eight-year old Severus in his oversized and worn out clothes was fussing around trying to calm her. "It's Tuney," Lily had admitted. "I'm a freak!" she sniffed. _

"_No, you're not!" he had said firmly then tried again softer. "You'll see when we go to Hogwarts we're going to have tons of friends and they're all going to like us!" he sat down in front of her. "They'll see how much we are worth and it will all be better," he awkwardly said, though Lily knew he was voicing his own hopes. "And you'll always have me, right?"_

_Lily smiled faintly. "Sure!" she had said. "Friends forever." _

_At the time he had seemed so happy, a grin spreading on his pale boyish face and his black eyes were actually twinkling._

In the beginning, before he started closing off for good at the age of nine, the situation had been reverse. He had been so scared of his father's yelling, hiding beneath trees curling together, the desire for revenge burning in his eyes early on. Every time Severus got hurt he would turn it into hatred, and through the years it had built up getting out of control. He bore signs of never having been adored and dotted on, which made him into a hard and unpleasant person, never expecting the world to be any different, ever, so why should he be? Never having an adult to set a good example and having only Lily to embrace him. As a child it had turned him confrontational and now as an almost adult it could turn him cruel. He had no reason to believe being nice was any good, as far as he was concerned good things would happen to him only if he were powerful and magnificent, which was exactly what he had been aiming at all along. From early childhood on he had this conviction that he was destined for greatness and therefore could do no wrong, never stopping to question if he might be at fault.

And she had been so sorry for him and had done at that time what she wanted to do now very much, just hug him and say he would always have her. It was really unfortunate he hadn't gotten what he was looking for at Hogwarts. He had just wanted to be liked so badly, to have tons of friends, to be admired and appreciated, and he had been so firmly convinced that Hogwarts was the answer to everything, that once he was there everything would be all right. Instead his attitude had gotten him into a feud even before he set foot inside the castle. His pride and the conviction that he was something better put against the immature Marauders who would never leave anything alone, neither would he by the way, and disaster was born. It started with a childish rivalry between eleven-year olds, as they grew their feud grew with them, stronger and more dangerous, each comeback from both sides being harder, more serious than the previous one, neither side would give up, so convinced that they were in the right and the other in the wrong. It just got completely out of control!

Severus was a person of emotions so strong they often ruled him. She had seen him happy, hysterical, annoyed, sad, jealous, dreamy, hopeful, consumed by his projects, burning with desire, sure of his own capabilities and so called destiny, the whole spectre and could recognise which were which immediately. He often didn't even know himself when his emotions got the better of him defying any form of reason, neither were he capable of thinking straight when it happened, he just lost temper and barged in. He was cunning, yes, but at times didn't even realise when he hurt people without meaning to, and couldn't see why they were so or why he should care.

His brutal honesty, so brutal it could come across as both cruel and self righteous, though so much him she couldn't imagine him without, at least it was honesty. He had never been the joking type, just said his honest thought no matter how harsh it sounded, and it would often come across as a good an insult as any, and he could be quite smug about it as well, Lily mussed. Unfortunately only few people realised this.

There was only one thing she had never seen him at, though he had been close recently but not quite there, he had never been at peace. And that meant things were straining on him even more making him sullen and annoyed, short tempered and grumpy.

She had seen his worst sides as well, ambition and greed poisoning and corrupting him. If he didn't see reason soon his lust for acknowledgement and power would... in times like this, being associated with wizards like that... it was only to clear where it would lead, more so because he was not afraid to go to extremes to get his way, truly horrible extremes, that was why Lily was worried so much.

So she thought she knew him, knew all his flaws and reasons, she thought she understood him, but recently was not that sure any more.

His eyes… eyes were supposed to mirror the soul... they did not change like that. The shape and colour were still the same of course, but there was something so incredibly different about them. She didn't know these eyes, had never seen them before.

Lily didn't really know this boy before her. She was slowly getting acquainted with him and liked what she was learning, but too many things were still unpredictable.

She had to admit she had been testing him. How could she not, ever since the lake incident he had been acting weird. She had asked him about muggles fully expecting him to be disgusted and sneer at the mere thought of muggles being worthy of him, and she would have been satisfied had he just nodded silently, sullen yet ashamed, proving that he was on the right track at last. But he had just stared at her blankly in a 'Duh, of cause!' way of all things, of everything she would have expected, it had not been that. The day after she had started asking herself if he was an impersonator and tried him again. He should have been annoyed about being dragged to the Hufflepuff table, he wasn't, he should have been flustered about having to greet Emmeline, she had expected him to be rude and hiss a greeting through gritted teeth, but no such thing...

And Malfoy! The one person Severus had admired the most and wanted recognition from, the one he had so desperately followed around seeing an opportunity to gain power, he... he couldn't have cared less that Malfoy was angry with him? What the..? Immediate thought, 'That's it! This is not Sev! Or he must be under a spell!' She had tried comparing his handwriting, knowing it was one of the things you couldn't disguise with Polyjuice Potion, when the handwriting was still the same she honestly started panicking, then saw Remus and called out for him knowing that this would be the ultimate test, put Severus on thin ice, poke at his insecurity and thereby make him grumpy, and finally he had reacted exactly as he should, first looking shocked, then panicked, then realising she was there and automatically putting up a face of scoffing disgust to cover his tumult. That, right there, was him, so bone headed and purely him. Thank God!

Sev really had a hard time coping with his insecurity, the less secure he felt, the more snarky he would become. Lily smiled softly, that hadn't changed at least, as much as it was weird it was one of the things she was really fond of, and knowing that about him, it was pretty funny to watch as well. His mannerism was strange, different from anyone she knew and had definitely changed recently, yet was still so much him… so confusing. The reason why he wasn't the same when facing the Marauders was that he felt he had the upper hand. With him it was the only explanation... but how could he? They were still three against one, was she missing something?

Most importantly a very fundamental aspect of Severus Snape was absent, the one which made him both brilliant and dangerous, a strong and worthy adversary for people of power way above his peers early on, and had continued making his strength grow so quickly, it was hard to keep track, but also corrupted him on the way, slowly and surely poisoning him from inside. His greed. It had been shining deep in his eyes from the very beginning, Lily had learned to recognise it, the lust for power, need for acknowledgement, the sheer wanting for importance, and it had always scared her, giving her a premonition at the age of seven already as to where it would eventually lead.

Gone... it was all gone, from one moment to another seemingly, no greed, no burning lust. Without it, he was an entirely different person. His conviction that he was destined for greatness also gone, punctured, not the slightest trace left, the change was both remarkable and off-putting, and it didn't make the tiniest bit of sense.

_Lily was waiting to be allowed into her defence O.W.L. written exam, she could see Sev not far from her anticipation shining in his eyes, he was almost tripping to be allowed entrance. _

"_Don't pee your pants," Black had commented eyeing him with a devilish smirk._

_Sev sent Black a glare filled with genuine hatred. "Think you're so smart, do you," he sneered venomously. "You'll pay blood traitor, just you wait." And he really meant every word, Lily could tell, more importantly Sev was a person absolutely capable to make good on his threat._

_And then, only three hours after that, out of nowhere no less..._

"_I can change! I promise I can change!" What in Merlin's name was going on? _

"_I don't want anything to do with them... ever!" Huh? But you had wanted this so badly, it was constantly on your mind._

"_The Marauders can mind themselves, I don't care." When the hell did you gain the ability to leave anything alone? Especially regarding the Marauders? _

"_I just never got to tell you, you're the kindest person on earth, and you were right, you were always right!" And since when would you give me that? ...put my judgement over your own ambition? That's just wrong. _

_"I'm sorry!" So I hear... and honestly, so am I. Though I'm not sure why. _

And every single word seemed sincere and really meant. She had never seen him this honest before. It was wonderful, but how was it brought about?

The doctor arrived and Lily had to move away to give him room.

The old Severus would have probably complained about being treated by a muggle doctor. Scratch that, she knew exactly how he would have reacted, scowl and snarl annoyed about the breach of his space, he hated to depend on anyone at all, much less a muggle. This boy on the other hand just complied quietly and even thanked the doctor when he was done.

They were going to transport him to the hospital, something about a broken rib and other cracked bones. The jaw definitely needed to be fixed, but thankfully nothing more serious than that. The blood was superficial bruising and the system had gotten a shock.

She helped Severus into the ambulance and asked if she could come with him to the hospital, shooting pleading looks at her mother until she said okay. Inside Severus was laid down on his back to ensure he didn't hurt himself even more. Lily took his hand again and just sat there in silence as they drove, holding it between her own.

Through this entire ordeal Severus didn't utter a word or attempted touching her again, yet didn't resist her holding his hand, so Lily supposed it was okay. He had liked to hold hands when they were kids, but it was something they had not done in some years, and this last month she had gotten the impression he was treating her like a glass angel, afraid to touch her in any way... was it guilt perhaps? Then she looked forward for him to come over it, as nice and flattering as it was, it wasn't like him to be guilty about anything especially for this long.

Lily watched him carefully in the hospital as the nurses cut and pulled off those rags which were supposed to be clothes, understanding full well why he was so embarrassed wearing them. They were washing him gently, cleaning him from dirt and blood with sponges, and he seemed so out of place in this sterile room with all the white clad personnel. He really belonged to the wizarding world more than anyone Lily knew.

She was made to wait outside when they started patching him up, so she was sitting there watching the sun rise again when they finally told her they were done.

Severus lay on the bed with white bandages wrapped around his chest and shoulder, splinted up in several places. His delocalised jaw had been put back again and was quite sore judged by the wincing each time he cleared his throat or frowned. His leg was also splinted, so he couldn't move around much either. The doctor was speaking with Lily's parents in the other room while she took his hand once more, offering him a friendly smile.

"How do you feel?" Lily asked softly.

"Stupid," Severus mumbled. "I was beaten up by someone who couldn't even see straight or walk two steps without falling over." He sighed. "If I just hadn't lost control like that," he smirked to himself, "although it was too funny to be left alone."

"What was?" Lily asked intrigued.

"I used to be so terrified of him, and now realised that he is less than nothing," Severus smirked. "It's so ironic that he would have been my greatest fear after I've seen so much terror. It's too much to bear really."

Lily sighed deeply a question burning on her lips. Well, if he trusted her as much as he said and showed so far, she might as well. "When you were unconscious," she plunged in. "You had a nightmare… Does that happen often?"

Severus closed his eyes and lay back on his pillow taking a deep breath. "Makes it all the more ironic that I have those and still could have been afraid of him," he sighed.

"How often do you have them?" Lily asked.

Severus was silent for a moment. "Almost every time I close my eyes," he said honestly.

Lily's eyes widened themselves in surprise. "Oh Sev," she commiserated concerned, feeling grateful he choose to confide in her. "Why do you have them?"

Again Severus remained quiet. "Later," he said shaking his head. "I'll tell you everything later, when we can talk undisturbed." He looked over her shoulder and Lily turned around to follow his gaze noticing her parents and the doctor standing in the doorway.

She frowned impatiently. "But you promise to tell?" she asked turning back to him. "The truth?"

Severus nodded. "I want you to trust me," he said sincerely.

The underlying meaning in this statement was much greater than the words themselves, I'll make myself trustworthy for you, his eyes spoke silently, please believe me, don't leave...

Lily smiled fondly squeezing his hand. When had he ever pleaded with her, with or without words, except for this last month?

"If it's a consolation, it's not a lost cause," she said and saw the tunnels in his eyes lighten a little, however not with greed or lust, just hope and it suited him.

There was no question about Severus coming home with them and they would take care of him. He didn't even object when Marguerite told him. On the drive home Lily could see his head tipping lightly from exhaustion and his eyes constantly threatening to close only to have him force them open again. She sighed exasperated, took his head and gently guided it down to rest on her shoulder putting an arm around him. "Sleep," she demanded. "I'll still be here when you wake, so don't worry."

He stiffened at first looking a little wide eyed then gave in and relaxed sinking into her embrace. Soon his chest was rising and falling in a slow rhythm matching his breaths. Suddenly feeling exhausted herself Lily leaned her head on top of his mindlessly stroking his black hair, which had become tangled and greasy again. She knew it came from potion brewing, the fumes would grease anyone's hair if you stayed above a cauldron too long, and he loved to spend his spare time experimenting. Though being a teenager did not help either, hopefully it would get better once he grew out of it and stopped spending so much time around those cauldrons.

Sometimes, when he became really excited by some project, he would spend so much time on it that he would forget anything else, including eating and sleeping. Well, anything but schoolwork which he always did on time. Severus was in fact a very clean and orderly person who really tried to keep himself and his things as neat as humanly possible. In the summer vacations he didn't really had access to a bath, yet tried to maintain his dignity by cleaning his clothes manually, with her help of course. Unfortunately he had refused to accept help from her parents, though it hadn't stopped her from just taking his things and giving them to her mother to wash with the rest of their laundry. After that his clothes were as clean as they could ever be and he had tried keeping them like that, avoiding dirt and so on, all in vain naturally. Well, that wouldn't be an issue anymore, she realised quite pleased.

She felt her eyelids grow heavy listening to the rhythm of his breathing. Before she knew it, she was asleep as well.

This situation was utterly unfamiliar and extremely unnerving for Severus Snape and he had no idea whatsoever how to deal with it.

He was lying on the couch in the Evans's living room ordered not to move away from it until he was well again. As if that wasn't bad enough, they were all fussing around him, asking if he wanted something or if there was something they could do to make him more comfortable, bringing him food and all sorts of drink, from water to tea, to this muggle thing called soda, even placing a bowl of candy in front of him. And that was supposed to make him feel better? Candy had never been his thing, if he felt like treating himself anything it would be a good glass of red wine or firewhiskey, though asking for it, no matter how much he felt like one, would probably come off as a little weird.

And they didn't even have to do this, which was the most baffling to Severus. He didn't have anything to offer them in return. Well, he could offer protection but they didn't know that, in their eyes he was just a sixteen-year old boy. They didn't owe him anything in any way, yet really went out of their way to be nice.

Severus groaned feeling his shoulder ache when he shifted his position. Sixteen was such an annoying age to be out of school on holidays. He would have been able to mend his bones in less than a minute, could he use magic. A healer could do it in less than a second, but he couldn't make himself point it out to the Evans's. It seemed somewhat ungrateful after what they had done for him.

Lily only rarely left his side, just sitting, reading or chatting with him. Amazing how much he was actually capable of talking when he was relaxed and casual with his company. He didn't remember the last time he had been casual with anyone... beside Lily that is. She had insisted on washing his hair, as if he couldn't do it himself. Then again, they had confined him to the couch with the exception of the loo. It was really quite a bother, yet he could not help but admit that he quite enjoyed it, though it was a bit too much, and it absolutely did not help that Lily was teasing him about it.

Right now she was sitting and reading her book on Ancient Runes, scribbling notes for her homework essay on a bit of parchment. Severus was reading a book on Defence Against The Dark Arts, skimming over the werewolf section and what went behind their transformation. To be honest, Severus had little idea what the Wolfsbane Potion actually did to the werewolf, how it affected the curse specifically. He had just made it and was done, but it could be interesting to try and improve it. There was really much to improve.

Mr. Evans had picked up Severus' trunk after they had returned from the hospital, so it was his own old schoolbook he was reading, filled to the brim with notes scribbled into any blank space available. This page particularly was overflowing with all kinds of theories as to how kill or torture a werewolf in a way that would not arouse suspicion. If Severus would make an educated guess, he had been writing these notes with Lupin in mind.

Amused Severus shook his head, no wonder Lily had ended their friendship. According to this book he had been a bloody psychopath. What had he been thinking when he invented _Sectumsempra_ in first place? And all these other curses he didn't even remember having invented and written down. Some harmless but most really dangerous, like this one which strangled the victim whenever they lied so hard that it would kill the person if they continue lying. Severus had been an idiot! Not really fathoming the consequences of death, since he had been writing about it this lightly, not even coming close to understanding what such things brought with them.

Still, these old notes on werewolves, he had quite frankly forgotten all about, were very fascinating, brilliant in fact, taking into consideration only things influencing werewolves alone, so it would look like an accident should anything happen. _Huh, yeah okay, you were right to be scared of me Lupin, but the feeling is mutual, so no, I'm not sorry._

One really interesting passage was about why and how certain plants, parts of magical animals and metals affected the lycanthropy curse. A constant exposure to silver for example would make them nauseous, drain their energy, and Aathonas milk that usually went into sleeping draughts would probably have the opposite effect. It really wasn't that difficult to make a poison that worked against werewolves alone. Wolfsbane Potion could easily become one if mixed a little bit wrong. In fact it was technically a poison for werewolves, just strong enough to affect them for twelve hours. The poison was regularly taken a couple of days before the full moon to weaken the system and make sure it lasted through the night.

That would indeed be the trick with any such potion, a poison strong enough to affect the beast but not strong enough to kill the human.

Severus had started to move around a couple of days after the hospital, refusing to spend more time horizontally than necessary. Although it was still where he slept as the Evans's had no guest rooms, the house was too small for that. He didn't mind though, this was a hundred times better than any alternatives.

He and Lily had been taking one of their usual walks, Lily supporting him heavily as he still had trouble walking properly. It was something they had started to do quite often, Severus not wanting to spend all day inside and Lily refusing to let him go alone. They sat down in the familiar park on the grass in front of the stream. The water was running fast, gurgling softly in the background and the sun shined clear from above, warming Severus' skin and hair. He was wearing some muggle clothes he had borrowed from Mr. Evans. They were a little too big, but a lot better than what he had before, or had had as Mrs. Evans had thrown all his old clothes into the trashcan where they quite frankly did belong. Right now he was wearing a white shirt and a pair of good jeans, not his preferred choice of clothing but entirely bearable. He did manage to project some firm mature dignity with them. Lily looked beautiful in her light yellow summer dress, very simple and casual, she had never looked better.

"Sev," Lily tugged on her hair the way she did when something was on her mind. "Please don't be annoyed with me, but I'm still waiting for an explanation." Green eyes met his. "You did promise."

Severus sighed closing his eyes.

"It's just... you can't keep quiet forever, it's too strange. You changed Sev, in a good way, but so suddenly that I'm lead to believe something is going on I should know of, something big." She swallowed and looked down sadly. "I do hardly recognize you anymore."

"What's so unrecognisable about me?" Severus asked leaning backwards a bit.

"Well," Lily tugged on her hair nervously, "to be honest a lot of things! The way you talk, the way you act in certain situations, the way you walk... you're actually raising your head! You used to walk hunched, Sev, now you're walking upright! It suits you and all... but you're walking upright!" She exclaimed gesturing wildly to bring her point across. "The way you're caring yourself you could give lessons! I swear you even look different in some ways... well not physically..." she looked at him flustered and a bit helpless. "Sometimes you seem to be able to hide your emotions too well. You look like a dead person when." Lily shuddered visibly. "I can't read you any more when you do that."

And it seemed that part was putting her off the most, well, that was occlumency for you. He should probably stop using it around her, but he had been so confused lately and it was such a simple solution to get his head clear and just observe the situation to review later. If he didn't his emotions could simply overcome his control and dominate his actions, he always had a hard time with that without occlumency. It was impressive though that she could tell the difference.

"Are you listening to me?" She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Thanks Sev," she mocked playfully, then shrugged, "lots of things really." She suddenly smirked knowingly. "How you didn't blurt out about Remus' condition when you had the chance..." she teased with a glint in her eye.

Severus looked at her surprised.

She smiled smugly in return. "Of course I knew that, he is my friend too." And Severus realised that she had been testing him at the train station yet again, knowing very well what Lupin had meant. "You kept silent about it and... it's not like you! Though I'm glad you did, it's his business as you said. You normally wouldn't be able to see that, and understand... it's so strange!" She sighed. "I'm just waiting for him to tell me on his own."

"Don't count on that," Severus sneered. "Hey, wait a minute, so he can keep his secrets but I must tell?"

"He didn't involve himself with dark magic deliberately," Lily turned serious again. "And he didn't-" She cut off. "I just wish to know what happened. Sometimes I have my doubts that you're you, it's all too fast."

Severus bit his lip and sat up a little straighter.

"But then fortunately you do something so Sev that I know it's you," Lily chuckled. "Small things really, I don't know anyone else who's able to scowl the way you do." She sighed. "I guess it's because I know you so well... or I thought I did... you could look... urh... greedy before. You haven't since!" She gestured. "It's good of course, but I'm still left to wonder what happened to my Sev? Where is that nervous boy always clutching his schoolbooks, always wanting more? Always feeling the need to prove himself, which almost always landed him in trouble... What happened?" she asked defeated. "I hate to say it, but I actually miss him... I miss him a lot! I do care you know, even if he was..."

She looked him over as if taking him in, then reached out and brushed his cheek gently before holding on firmer. "Sev, you wanted it so badly, you wanted to join Voldemort and become a Death Eater, never even denying it! You believed so strongly in their philosophy of wizards being better than muggles and you really wanted it that way." They were looking into each other's eyes while she firmly held his cheek. "Pureblood wizards ruling the world, you standing with them being all mighty and powerful, while muggles and muggleborns live in the gutter, you sincerely wanted it!" Her second hand joined the first. "That's why I was so mad at you, because it really hurt me that you were going there. I don't think you quite realised how far Voldemort is willing to go, or how bogus that philosophy really is until now. Now you have me pretty convinced that you've really changed!" She smiled lightly still holding his face. "Look at you, you're not denying anything nor are you surprised or offended, what am I supposed to think?" She brushed his cheek with her thumb. "I want to believe this so badly, but it just seems too good to be true, so please Sev," she removed her hands, "put my mind at ease or my head will explode!"

For a moment Severus looked at her feeling strangely clear minded. He had been thinking long and hard how to put it, so she could understand and believe it, and he finally felt like he had the answer. He knew that Lily would not be satisfied before he actually explained his changed behaviour, to make something up would be damn near impossible. So he should be simply honest, he could never lie to her, not really, and did not want to. He needed to put his trust in her, otherwise how could he ever hope to gain _her_ trust? And he wanted her forgiveness so badly, but how could she give it if she didn't know?

People might think otherwise but lying was hard work, and extremely draining at that. He was definitely done with charades and pretending, he had no energy left for them.

"Lily, I don't think you even realise how right you are," he spoke softly. He needed to ease her into this. "I've seen what the Dark Lord has to offer and it is neither great nor glorious, it's just evil." Severus tried to explain. "I really did walk that path all the way to the other side, you have no idea how far." His gaze became distant. "Only then the Dark Lord had marked you for doomed did I realise what he is and what the price for his vision would be, and that the vision itself was madness." He sighed, "But it was too late!"

"What?" Lily looked at him wide-eyed, her mind trying to process the information, which coming out of nowhere was quite hard to do, though it was obvious she was listening attentively. "What?" she repeated frowning, "Sev, you don't make any sense."

"That's because for you it didn't happen yet," he told her. "For me however... I've seen everything. I was there though no one knows it.

"So you had a vision?" she asked.

"No Lily," Severus shook his head. "For me it was real, I experienced every single moment, every single day, and made all the wrong choices, Lily, it was me!"

She looked beyond stunned suddenly realising he was telling her what she had been asking for all along. "What kind of choices?" Lily asked concerned trying to put it together.

Severus took a deep breath bracing himself. "Becoming a Death Eater for one," he confessed.

Lily swallowed. "But you're not going to become a Death Eater now, are you?" she asked tensely.

"Never!" Severus exclaimed determined, feeling the truth of the words to the core.

Undiluted relief flooded her hearing the sincerity in words, she sighed deeply, a heavy burden falling away. "Oh God, and you actually mean it!" she was almost crying, and gave him a hug apparently not able to contain herself. "Thank God," she sighed. Severus swallowed feeling warmth and happiness spreading through him at her obvious affection.

"I hurt you because I wanted to become a Death Eater," he realised. "You were hurting from it."

Lily didn't answer but her silence was answer enough.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

Lily slowly removed herself looking away. "I did," she said softly. "You didn't listen."

Severus could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks as he looked down ashamed. How come she could do this to him so easily? He felt like an awkward teenager again. "I'm sorr..." he started.

"Please don't!" Lily cut him off. "It's the only thing I hear from you lately, I'm sorry for this and I'm sorry for that. It's nice you are taking responsibility and all, but it's getting too much, I heard you the first time, I really did!" She gestured in exasperation. "Try and cheer up a bit please, it's not good to wallow in self-recrimination."

"I'm sorry," Severus couldn't help himself.

Lily chuckled pressing a finger against his lips. "Shut it!" she said amused. "It suits you to be a gentleman, but it doesn't suit you to be overly humble. I'm getting the impression that you're just a little thief who ate all the cookies in the jar and is now ashamed of that, it's not like you."

Severus smirked genuinely amused by the comparison. "That's what I am to you?" he asked feeling like laughing. "A cookie thief?"

"Hey, it's figurative!" Lily defended herself. "Of course it's been years since you really did steal cookies, but I know that face when I see it."

Severus looked at her gobsmacked.

Lily smirked. "I know all your dirty little secrets Severus Snape, don't you forget. You were a cookie thief all right."

"I honestly don't remember," Severus said truthfully. "It's so long ago."

"It's not!" Lily insisted tilting her head back searching her memory. "Only the summer vacation before the last you had somehow gotten yourself a jar of cookies, and I know for sure your mum didn't give them to you," she told him with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Sev, your memory didn't used to be this poor."

"Lily that's what I'm trying to tell you, for me so much had happened," Severus implored. "It's a whole life time of being a dark wizard."

Lily regarded him brows furrowed. "So... It's like you had a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Future?"

"No Lily," Severus shook his head the seriousness of the situation gripping him again. "Scrooge saw only glimpses of what his life could turn out to be. I saw it all out of my own eyes, not just as a bystander like in a pensive! It was all me! It was my fault you died Lily, mine! I did terrible things and I witnessed the consequences," he confessed everything. Sighing he sat up straighter. "It all ended only when I died in that lifetime."

"How did you die?" Lily asked.

"The Dark Lord killed me," Severus shrugged as if it didn't really matter.

For him it didn't, he had fully expected to die before the war was over, even looked forward to it.

"But you're fine now," Lily pointed out softly, a hand found its way to his shoulder. "So you saw what... some months into a false future? And got a healthy scare on the way?" She cracked a smile, "which you had quite frankly needed."

"No Lily," Severus had to shake his head again. "Twenty-two years, I experienced twenty-two years as if they were real. No, not as if... They were real!"

"Twenty-two," Lily repeated, her voice barely a whisper, she looked at him in shock. "Twenty-two?" she said again louder, disbelieving. "You're telling me that you experienced twenty-two years that didn't happen! And then WAM! Opened your eyes and it only had been a second for the rest of us? Twenty-two! That's longer than I have been alive!"

Severus nodded vaguely with a faint smile on his lips.

Lily shook her head bewildered. "Well, how did he kill you?" she finally asked.

"Does it matter?" Severus shrugged. "He killed me because he thought it would make him more powerful." Severus shuddered, "transferred something I didn't even know I had to him."

"What?" Lily persisted.

"The ownership of a very powerful wand," Severus told her nonchalantly. "But it doesn't matter right now, Dumbledore owns it."

Lily frowned. "Are you sure there's anything special about that wand? I know that Dumbledore is very powerful, but it was a just dream."

"I'm not sure there's anything special about that wand whatsoever, but the Dark Lord believed it nonetheless," Severus tried to explain. "And it wasn't just a dream Lily."

He breathed in through clenched teeth. Good, she got the concept of experiencing twenty-two years now, but that was only the first part.

"It was my life and it was real, that other world was real. I died and I was sent to this place," he looked at her intensely.

Lily was chewing her lip slightly, thinking. "But if you say you died there and then woke up here in this time, couldn't it have been as well as a just dream, a cruel enchantment? Or a potion?" she hypothesised, "intended to scare the victim out of their mind."

"For all purposes it could have," Severus had to agree. "But I'm sure it wasn't."

"Why?" Lily asked honestly interested.

Severus didn't answer for a while. "My mother..."

"What?" Lily looked truly confused now.

"When I died, I met my mother's spirit on the other side. I would have become a ghost because of my regrets if not for her. She saved me because she loved me." He sighed, feeling sudden sadness well up in him. "If it all had been a dream, I wouldn't have seen my mother like that. She was..." He took in a deep breath. "She was happy and content even beautiful, she really loved me and showed it. I never saw her like that in life and could never have imagined her that way." He then shrugged. "And then there are other things, like I really don't remember some stuff we learned at school because it happened twenty-two years ago, there are faces I don't remember, some things seem unrecognisable though they had been right there in the common room all along, I just don't remember them anymore. There's so much that seemed important at the time and now it isn't. Who cares for petty teasing or name calling? Who cares who owns what, who's rich and who isn't? Who cares for the blood-status? Stupid points and cups and trinkets... It mattered so much when I was fifteen but now... I just couldn't care less." He turned to look Lily directly in the eyes. "Lily, I'm thirty-eight years old now, or at least my mind is."

She sat there stunned with her mouth slightly open.

Severus closed his eyes trying to get his point across. "Even if it had been just a dream, it doesn't change the fact that my mind experienced those twenty-two years." He looked at her again.

Lily just stared on open-mouthed. "That..." she said finally, "explains so much." She shook her head. "Merlin, it all makes sense now!" She seemed to be comparing puzzle-pieces in her mind and marvel at how well they fitted together. "It means it's still you but not really, I was right!" she exclaimed, but then turned silent again, her face expressing sadness as she looked at him like truly seeing him for the first time, she sighed and frowned a little. "Look... I'm not even going to pretend to understand all this, or have the faintest idea of what you're going through." She said honestly. "But I do want to be here for you, I care for you, and I'm very glad you told me all this." She smiled fondly at him. "It means a lot to me, I can't even to tell you how relieved I am."

Severus smiled but it faltered almost immediately. He had hoped her words would make him feel better, in fact he had been praying for her to say something exactly like that, but it was oddly dissatisfying. What could he do to make her understand? She might be thinking she had forgiven him, but she was right... how could she truly understand?

This moment a shadow came over Lily's eyes. "When you ask for mercy in your sleep... whose life are you begging for?" she asked seriously.

Severus blinked at her. He had been talking in his sleep? He knew that he had nightmares, but... Had he spoken that coherently? He would have to do something about it. He usually took draughts against dreams, but hadn't had access to them recently.

"It differs," Severus answered carefully. "Though mostly you, it's one of my strongest memories. When I found out that he was going to kill you I begged for mercy, but he has no mercy, he went through with it without hesitation," Severus swallowed. "You were 21. That's when I became a spy for Dumbledore."

"A spy?" Lily asked interested. "You mean, you spied against Voldemort for Dumbledore," she made a quick calculation. "For sixteen years!"

"Yes and no. Oh, I never changed sides again," Severus hurriedly assured her. "But the Dark Lord vanished for a while, so I wasn't exactly active at that time. However, I started again after his return."

Lily groaned overwhelmed trying to take it all in, but fearing her head was going to burst. Severus started fearing the same. "How did I die?" She then asked. "What could you possibly have had to do with that? I know you would never hurt me on purpose."

Severus glared at her. "Lily, you forget that I was a Death Eater, I did kill people," he told her gravely. "It doesn't matter how or why, the fact still remains that I did, out of my own free will no less." He looked into her eyes trying to make her understand. "I'm a dark wizard Lily," he stated. "As dark as they come, I do practise dark magic, perhaps even understand it better than anyone else alive, and I do have blood on my hands." He held out his hands and looked at them grimly. "I've done terrible things."

Lily's lip was trembling slightly when she looked at him with those big green eyes of hers. "But you wouldn't kill anyone now, would you?" She seemed genuinely concerned. "Would you?" she demanded.

Severus looked at her resolutely, his mouth a thin grim line, closing his hands into fists. "Not someone innocent," he admitted. "In my last sixteen years I only saw those die whom I couldn't save, but if I had to, I could most definitely kill. I stepped over this line long ago."

"But then that's alright," Lily forced a smile though it didn't hide how unnerved she was. "That's the warrior of the light side speaking."

Severus chuckled softly. "Warrior of the light side indeed. I don't think I would pass off as your everyday white knight."

"You don't have to look like one to be it," Lily protested. "It all comes down to your actions and choices." She sighed. "We judge people around us on their behaviour, and as far as I'm concerned, you're in the clear, especially from what I've seen this last month..."

"I'm done Lily," he told her feeling tired. "Honestly, I'm just done. I want some peace."

Lily looked at him concerned. "Rest then," she instructed. "Honestly, you've been looking a bit like a ghoul lately." She smirked before turning more serious. "We should be able to have some peace for the time being, I'll sort of like that too, and then make a choice, okay?" she asked.

"Choice," Severus muttered darkly._ Yeah, right._ His whole life had been driven by nothing more than responsibility and duty, he never had a say... And then it hit him. He had a choice now, many choices! He could choose who he wanted to be, what he wanted to do, anything! The world was his for the taking! There had always been only one single path before him the moment he had taken that accursed mark, but now the terrain was wild and uncertain. It was both scary and incredibly thrilling.

"Are you all right?" Lily placed a hand on his arm. "Do you need anything?"

"No," Severus shook his head smiling. "Lily," he whispered hoarsely, "I have a choice." The reality of it was making him dizzy. "I can choose what I want to be."

"Of course you can!" Lily shook her head amused. "I'm glad you figured it out," she mocked rolling her eyes.

Severus stared straight ahead trying to comprehend this new concept.

"The question is," Lily leaned against him resting her head lightly on his shoulder. "Who do you want to be?" Her sigh almost sounded like a yawn. "What do you want?"

Severus opened and closed his mouth his throat dry. What did he want? When he had been young he had wanted so many things, but in the last sixteen years he had stopped asking himself that, so he really didn't know any more. Well, one thing was obvious, he wanted Lily, her friendship and affection... he still wanted her forgiveness, but knew he couldn't have it... not really. So he had to make do with what he had, which was not at all bad.

What more did he want? He really didn't know. It had been a lifetime since he had thought about it last. Though he could list what he didn't want, he didn't want to be in league with Voldemort, he didn't want to become a teacher, he didn't want to live in lies and deceit, even if he wanted to he couldn't, he didn't want to be involved into schemes so complicated that no one really understood them, he didn't want to keep his guard up at all times to stay alive, he didn't want a debt to be his only reason for living, it took too much out of a man, and if he played his cards right he wouldn't have to.

What did he want?

He wanted to be someone people respected, someone he himself could respect. He wanted to be able to relax on daily basis, wanted the happiness he felt this very moment being sure of Lily's friendship and concern. He wanted to keep feeling that, feeling that he was wanted.

And he could have it, because he hadn't done anything yet, nothing to make people disgusted by him, other than being one of the resident Hogwarts' pariahs.

He found his own arm creeping around Lily shyly, pulling her closer, feeling the need to make sure she was still here and didn't hate him. "I want to do the right thing Lily," he told her softly. "I really do."

"Then," she yawned. "Everything is fine."


	6. In Noctum

_Carry my soul into the night  
May the stars light my way  
I glory in the sight  
As darkness takes the day_

_Ferte in noctem animam meam  
Illustrent stellae viam meam  
Aspectu illo glorior  
Dum capit nox diem_

_Cantate vitae canticum  
Sine dolore actae  
Dicite eis quos amabam  
Me numquam obliturum_

_Sing a song, a song of life  
Lived without regret  
Tell the ones, the ones I loved  
I never will forget, never will forget_

_Never will forget... _

_Severus Snape was wandering the grounds of Hogwarts, the only place he had ever called home, the air was cold around him and the colours seemed washed out. He should be happy but he wasn't... he was empty and numb, exposed to the coldness seeping into him from both in and outside... alone. _

"_Kill!" a voice sounding more like a snake's than a man's tore the air. "Kill the mudbloods! Kill them... Kill them all!"_

"_Yes my Lord," Severus answered automatically without feeling, watching his own wand rise. In front of him stood a girl with dark brown hair and big almond shaped eyes, the oval glasses over her small nose were unable to hide the chocolate coloured eyes looking pleadingly at him, wordlessly begging for mercy. He didn't know her name or where she had come from, only that she was a mudblood, the same breed as his father, who just by mere chance happened to have magic. _

"_Kill... kill... she will be better off dead." _

"_Avada Kedavra," the words were uttered without emotion a green light blinding him for a moment. _

_To Severus the girl hadn't a name or personality, but her face burned itself deeply into his subconscious mind as she fell down to the ground never to move again. _

"_Kill! Kill her... kill the mudblood!" the snake like voice commanded once again. _

_Severus looked up to face his next victim and froze in shock._

_Red hair swaying in the wind, green eyes looking sadly at him._

_The wand dropped from his hand reaching the ground in slow-motion. "No, not her!" _

"_Kill her... kill, it's easy... just two words... the mudblood will be better off dead." _

"_No my Lord!" Severus was trembling violently. "Have mercy, have mercy my Lord, please!" _

"_Severus," a crisp old voice sounded. _

_He snapped his head to its source encountering piercing blue eyes behind a pair of half moon spectacles, belonging to a very old face. Fear gripped Severus as he looked at Dumbledore, not knowing why he was so scared, only that he was._

"_Severus," Dumbledore repeated. "You must do it... you must kill me." _

_They were there again, up on the tower, the cold wind was tearing sharply at his flesh, though that was nothing compared to the cold horror Severus felt inside._ "_No," Severus stated all kinds of emotion welling up in him, confusion being one of them, mixed with fright. "No! I don't want to do this anymore! You can't make me!" _

_Dumbledore regarded him sadly standing on the ledge._ "_Severus," the blue eyes were pleading with him, piercing his very soul. "Please." _

_Trembling Severus raised his wand, which was somehow once again in his hand, and pointed it at Dumbledore fighting back the terror of the deed. "Avada Kedavra." _

_The green light blinded him, a moment later he saw red hair billowing around the face of a woman falling down backwards._

_Gasping Severus ran towards the falling figure, "No!" he tried to grab her, but she was already out of reach falling down the tower. Severus stretched out his arms desperately, but she kept falling, her empty green eyes though still visible from the distance. "NO! LILY!" She landed on the ground crashing, her body in most unnatural ankles and eyes still starring at him. _

Severus shot up straight drenched in sweat and gasping for air, trying to compose his racing heart.

It was a nightmare, he rubbed his face with his hands, just a nightmare like all the others. There was nothing special about it.

It was in the middle of the night. Soft darkness covered the living room where Severus slept, though it was more of the midnight blue of summer. Severus leaned back and looked up to the ceiling trying to relax again. Yawning he emptied his mind, dully observing the shadows above him through heavy eyelids.

"_Severus, there is a traitor in the Order, do you happen to have an idea as to who it is?" _

_Dumbledore was talking to his newly acquired spy. They were in a warm and inviting living room, a red carpet on the floor and landscapes on the walls, but Severus really didn't have time to wonder about any of that too busy being pissed at Dumbledore._

"_I have no idea," he told Dumbledore with his arms crossed. "The Dark Lord keeps his cards close." _

"_You do realise that this traitor is a danger to the Potters?" Dumbledore asked._

"_Of cause I do!" Severus spat. "I'm not stupid."_

"_I never thought you were," Dumbledore replied, "on the contrary to be honest, which makes you only more dangerous." _

_Severus gritted his teeth. "If I knew I would tell you, if I had any idea I would tell you, but I don't. The Dark Lord hasn't mentioned a spy while I was in the room." _

"_And he hasn't introduced a new Death Eater?"_

"_No." Severus stated firmly. "And you haven't introduced me as a member of the Order for the same reason, don't you see it?"_

"_I do Severus, I had just hoped..."_

_Severus growled impatiently. _"_And you shouldn't even need to doubt I would tell you anything to ensure her safety." Severus stated sullenly. Suddenly they heard noise outside._

"_Quick, hide!" Dumbledore commanded. "Order members cannot see you here."_

_There was only one exit and little hiding places in the room. Without hesitation Severus sprinted to the next cabinet, shrank its content and squeezed himself into its place closing the door as far as possible, leaving only a small crack in front of him, allowing him to observe the goings on outside. _

_The door opened and three sets of feet entered, Severus heart leaped up his throat recognising who they belonged to. _

_James Potter, Sirius Black, and Lily Evans... no... Lily Potter, holding a toddler in her arms. _

"_Dumbledore," Lily greeted the old man. "Was there someone here, we thought we heard voices?" _

"_There was," Dumbledore admitted. "He just left." _

"_It sounded like..." Lily looked considering, but then seemed to dismiss it. "Never mind, that's absolutely impossible. I must have imagined it," she looked sadly to the ground. "Merlin, things are really getting to me to hear something that farfetched." _

_James Potter laid an arm around Lily. "I'm sorry sweetheart, but he's a lost cause." _

"_I know," Lily leaned against her husband sill sad. "You're absolutely right."_

_She was talking about him. Severus could feel his heart tightening, so close and yet so far... What would they think if he suddenly burst out of the closet? If he begged her forgiveness right now? Told her that she had been right all along and he was willing to do anything to make it good again?_

"_War brings out the true colours in all of us," Black snorted but then turned oddly quiet looking guilty. _

"_Sirius," James admonished. "We don't know if Moony is the traitor." _

"_Yeah," he whispered defeated. _

_Dumbledore regarded them seriously. "The situation is worrying me greatly, we know that Voldemort is targeting you specifically, we must take extra precautions." _

"_You have any ideas?" James asked. _

"_I do," Dumbledore nodded. "This is why I wanted all three of you here, but let's discuss it somewhere else." _

_Lily looked suddenly suspicious examining the room with her eyes as if in search for clues. Had she put two and two together? Did she know that Severus was still in there? Her green eyes found the closet looking unknowingly right into his. Merlin, he wanted to tell her so many things, but fear kept him back. Instead he leaned back breaking the contact... the last time he would ever see her. She died believing that he was a lost cause. _

_Another time, another place... On a cold rainy summer day Severus walked to the house Dumbledore had personally revealed the address for, 12 Grimmauld Place. He knew who he would find there and did not look forward to it. It had been so much easier believing that Black was a bloody coward and a traitor, someone to hate more than himself. And now he would have to look the man in the eye and tell him they need to work together? It was almost too much for Severus to bear, he genuinely wanted to curse him into the next century as soon as he saw him. _

_Slowly Severus stepped into the dusty room and took a look around, a moment later he was attacked. _

"_WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" _

_He found himself at the mercy of a furious man who had grabbed him and twisted his arms in an arm lock. _

"_HOW DID YOU FIND THIS PLACE?" Black yelled holding Severus' arms tight. "Going to run and tell to your master, are you!" _

"_I'm in the Order," Severus hissed. "Dumbledore gave me the address, how else would I be here? He trusts me remember? Think back to last summer doggie!" _

_It was well worth remembering that twelve years in Azkaban did leave Sirius Black an unstable man no matter how you put it._ "_Liar!" Without warning he grabbed Severus' sleeve and exposed the Dark Mark fully._

"_HOW DARE YOU!" Severus immediately twisted out of the grip and tossed Black across the room using his full strength, immediately covering the dreaded Mark before pulling his wand and pointing it at Black. "HOW DARE YOU!" he yelled again into Sirius' face in rage._

"_DEATH EATER!" Sirius spat. _

"_I could say the same for you," Severus hissed. "What was the front page title of the Daily Prophet today?" he mocked. "Oh yes, now I remember, dirty treacherous Sirius Black still on the loose, cannot be trusted! Dark Lord lover!" _

"_I SWEAR I KILL YOU!"_

"_PADFOOT STOP!" _

_Both men froze with their wands pointed at each other and looked to the stairs where Remus Lupin was glaring at them. _

"_Moony, what's he up to?" _

"_He's a member of the Order," Lupin explained softly like talking to a child. "Padfoot put that wand down, I can vouch for him." _

"_You? Vouch for him?" Sirius asked looking confused._

_Lupin nodded reassuringly trying to calm him."It's all right Pad, you can put the wand down now."_

_Black obeyed reluctantly and Severus followed suit. _

"_So you just turned when it was convenient having Dumbledore holding his hand over you?" Black sneered._

"_No," Severus told him unaffected. "I worked against the Dark Lord by the end of the last war."_

"_Oh?" Sirius looked doubtful._

"_Remember the first attempt on the lives of Potters?" Severus asked. "You were warned about it three days in advance and you managed to save them, even put up a trap. How do you think you came by that information?" _

"_You are telling me that it was you?" Sirius blinked dumbfounded._

"_Indeed," Severus sneered. _

_Black looked surprised at first, then his expression turned hard._ "_I still don't like it one bit," he stated._

"_Believe me, the feeling is mutual." _

Severus blinked staring up the ceiling, he had dozed off again, not entirely dreaming though, more just remembering. He sat up putting his feet on the cold floor and rested his head on his hand for a while.

Stupid Dumbledore, why hadn't he told people about Severus status back then? Just one or two they had agreed on trusting... It would have made so many things a lot simpler.

That was the problem with Dumbledore however. Never give information to anyone other than those who had vital need for it, and not before the last possible moment. Foolish really, as it had been proved. That way of doing things brought at least as many problems with it as sharing some information with selected few. For the greater good indeed, what about Severus' sanity last year? He honestly didn't know how long he would have lasted, had the final battle not broken loose. If some of the teachers had known, he could have stood with them against the Dark Lord instead of joining him, only to have the said Lord kill him. Fact was that at the time Severus had welcomed death, it was a blessed relief for the hell he was living.

_Severus sighed walking the long way leading to Hogwarts with Death Eaters, over a hundred Dementors and Voldemort himself right behind him. He entered the empty school and was suddenly facing all of the teachers in the Entrance Hall, McGonagall leading them. Only few of them though were looking at the legions behind him preferring to stare at Severus with loathing, disgust, hurt and betrayal in their eyes. _

"_Hogwarts is no longer yours," Voldemort stated standing in front of the staff. "My Death Eaters have conquered it and I am now in command."_

_Severus regarded Voldemort's pale snake like face, the red eyes burning deep in his skull as he spoke, his enthusiasm quite obvious. _

"_I know you are the best of your craft and make valuable servants. I have decided to let you live for now, but mark my words, you only need to give me a reason." _

_Voldemort's eyes scanned the staff, yet none of them budged meeting him with a defiant stare. McGonagall stood proudly in front with Flitwick by her side. Hagrid towered over all of them, his warm friendly face now full of loathing making it obvious how much damage his enormous body could actually do to a human being given the chance. The ghosts floated in unison and stated coldly, "We have been here since the beginning and seen it all. Hogwarts will not stay in the wrong hands for long." Even Binns spoke clearly now, while the Moaning Myrtle glared hatefully at Voldemort, the man behind her murder. _

_Trelawney pointed her long bony finger at Severus, her lips forming the words, "The damned soul must wander in eternal noctum." _

_Severus' emotions betrayed him in that moment, though he did not show it. He just stared coldly back at them, not an expression on his face, but feeling pride knowing that he belonged to those people. A large part of him longed just to walk up and stand with them, to McGonagalls right. He could not help the smile playing on his lips, despite it all, his smirk probably helped him in his part. It paled though in the face of reality. If he took a step closer now, chances were they would kill him._

_Severus himself stood at Voldemort's right shoulder, Bellatrix was at his left, and behind them the entire Inner Circle, plus of course the hundreds of Dementors looming in the background. A pathetic bunch really, most of them cowards, Severus felt out of place here more than ever. _

_He longed for some small gesture of recognition from the ones before him, but Dumbledore had told no one in advance, so there was none, only hard eyes and readiness to fight him to the bitter end. _

"_You!" Voldemort pointed at someone, Professor Burbage, Severus realised, a kind strong-willed witch who he actually respected. He respected all of them standing strong and united. Each one was far more capable than any of the Death Eaters._

_Burbage pointed at herself in question. _

"_Yes you!" Voldemort demanded. "Get over here!" _

_Sprout quickly grabbed her shoulder as Burbage was about to do as told. Burbage looked questioning at her, then McGonagall, McGonagall shook her head making her stand back. _

"_I said get over here!" Voldemort hissed. "Or my Death Eaters will come and get you for me." _

_Burbage looked at McGonagall again, this time McGonagall nodded defeated. _

_Burbage walked down slowly looking suddenly alone and vulnerable. Severus blinked, what did Voldemort want with her? She was the Mugglestudies Professor and a muggleborn, she was of no use to him. _

"_Impedimenta!" Bellatrix shouted and sent Burbage sprawling to the ground. _

_Oh... dread filled Severus' chest... an example, of course it would be the Mugglestudies teacher, who else. He averted his eyes and used occlumency to block all sound as they threw Crucio after Crucio at her, while Voldemort spoke about purity and the new way of wizard kind. _

_After it was over Severus turned his head just in time to see the Professor grabbed by Grayback and thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. _

"_As you all now know," Voldemort stated delighted. "We are a staff member and a headmaster short." He smirked twisting his sharp unnatural face to ugly proportions. "Thankfully I know just the right man for this position. Severus!" he gestured to make him step forward, which he did with dread in his heart careful not to show any emotions._

"_You all know my dear servant Severus here as many of you have been his colleagues for years," Voldemort smirked. "I expect this to go smoothly."_

_If looks could kill Severus would have died a thousand times over. The entire staff looked ready to jump and tear him apart, the muggle way if they had to. _

"_He will from now on be your headmaster and superior, you all must answer to him," Voldemort demanded. "If I get the impression that something is amiss," Voldemort paused for effect. "It's your students who will pay."_

_Several members gasped shocked. _

"_Carrows!" the twins stepped forward. "I expect you to treat your newest staff members with respect as well. They will fill the position of Dark Arts." _

"_I must take my leave now," Voldemort said. "However my Dementors will stay."_

_Voldemort grabbed Bellatrix' arm signalling to the others to do the same except for Severus and the Carrows and disapparated them all away. _

_Severus and the two bulky Carrows with the looming shadows of Dementors right behind them stood face to face with the staff of Hogwarts. If the staff chose to fight right now Severus did not have a doubt as to who would win. The Dementors did not mean a thing in this situation. _

_McGonagall was not stupid however, she knew fighting would only lead to disaster and a tighter grip, plus Voldemort's threat of harming the students was still fresh in mind. So she just turned around wordlessly gesturing for the others to do the same, leaving Severus and the dark creatures behind. _

Severus splashed cold water from the kitchen sink into his face trying to shake off the memories, knowing it to be of no use, they were simply too strong. Severus looked up and was met by his own reflection in the window. Very old eyes, older than even thirty-eight, stared back at him from a too young face. He pulled his hair forward to cover it so he didn't have to look at it anymore.

His hair was for once silky and smooth, it seemed thicker even. Years of unhappiness and stress hadn't made it lifeless yet and not standing over a cauldron for two weeks ensured that it wasn't greasy. It felt softly over his eyes making it easier to peer through, so Severus could still see his glinting eyes behind a curtain of black hair in the reflection. He raised his hands looking at his skin shining vividly in the gloom around him. He placed his long fingers on the window frame and opened it, letting the mild summer breeze sweep over him.

_Severus Snape. _

_One of the most powerful wizards in the world, former Potions Master now headmaster of the most important magical place in the world, the school of Hogwarts where he alone had full authority, probably one of the most brilliant and intelligent people who had ever lived, vicious, sly, a fighter, a survivor. _

_And completely helpless! Always have been, and now it seemed always would be for the remainder of his short miserable life. _

_Trapped and helpless. _

_One way or another he was going to die soon, he knew it beyond doubt. _

_Severus Snape paced his office barely glancing at the portraits of sleeping former headmasters, barely noticing the beautiful ornaments and warm colours of the room. _

_Secretly he had always liked it, ever since he was a student and had been invited up here for the first time. _

_He hated this room now, hated it so much! He longed for his private student free quarters down in the dungeons, the dark wooden colours, mahogany bookshelves filled with his own books, the wine-red carpet and the warm brown walls. All this magically bright and cheerful blue and red was almost hurting his eyes, the gold decorations so very much not like him. He just wished to turn the colours off and make it into a more safe, less bright and obvious place he could sink into and relax, hide if you preferred, but he could not let his guard down now, even a quarter of a second could mean the end. _

_He let his hand glide across the desk, Dumbledore's desk and behind it Dumbledore's comfortable chair, which Severus was now supposed to sit in every time he had visitors. Even that simple gesture, to sit down in the headmaster's chair, was abhorrent to him, so he sat down in the ordinary one in front of the desk. The exact same place where Dumbledore had stripped him of his dignity and grace, all those years ago as Severus had begged for Lily's life. It had been the ultimate embarrassment because the only thing Dumbledore did was telling him the truth. He was faced with it all, his mistakes and flaws, forcing him to confront it. And he never had before, never confronted anything which had left him unprepared. _

_He had felt dirty inside out and to this date was still willing to do anything to make that feeling go away. Meaning spending the rest of his life repenting and doing the right thing, for the first time fully aware of the cruelty and unfairness of life, aware of the bitter consequences carelessness brought on, aware that _he_ had been the arrogant one, the blind one. He had always been blind! The cloth he had worn over his eyes to shield himself from reality Dumbledore had torn off and frown it into fire. Severus was a changed man. _

_The one thing Severus wanted from that point on, what he saw when he looked into the Mirror of Erised, was Lily forgiving him. That was all! He wanted forgiveness, he wanted redemption, and it was the one thing he could never have. The only thing left beside that was just to be left alone. He didn't want anyone's help or company, their sympathy and regards. No, he just wanted them to leave him the hell alone!_

_And now, he couldn't help being satisfied by the thought, he was. _

_Severus Snape was in every sense of the word completely alone. _

_The people he pretended to side with he detested and fought against with all his might, although in secret. He was not one of them, not anymore, he felt it every time they were in the same room. The people he really did side with detested him, loathed him, wanted to see him burn in hell for eternity. It was a perverted pleasure to receive McGonagall's hateful glances every day, the ultimate punishment hurting him to his very core. McGonagall was one of the very few he actually respected and wanted some kind of acceptance from. Now it was denied, denied from everyone. And he knew it would all end in his death. _

_Either the Dark Lord would win and would sooner or later realise Severus' betrayal, or maybe just that Severus was the only real threat in his Inner Circle because he was the most intelligent of them all, which would also result in Severus' death. _

_Or Potter would win, in which case they would kill him in the battle never for a moment to stop and think that he might be innocent. No matter how Severus put it, he was far from being innocent anyway. The last sixteen years, the last two in particular, sufficed perfectly fine to show it, even if you only accounted the truth. Although the truth was so muddled that even Severus didn't really know what it was anymore. _

_He had only two guidelines to keep him straight and going, 1: keep the students safe, 2: do what Lily would have wanted me to do. If the first one failed the latter would have the answer. Anything more than that would make the whole thing too complicated even for him. And because Lily would have wanted him to keep the students safe as a first priority, the two guidelines would never clash. _

_Keep the students safe. _

_Severus groaned exhausted covering his face with his hands. In his now sixteen years as a teacher students had given him more headaches than was worth counting, but you would have to take every single one of them and multiply them by at least ten to get the notion of how many headaches he had this single year as a headmaster. _

_Of all people who would have thought that Neville Longbottom kept being the main cause? Severus remembered when he had been able to make the Longbottom boy shiver with a single glare, he had been his Boggart. Severus Snape had been Longbottom's greatest fear and now the boy was deliberately fighting him. Not just by sneaking around but by giving him well aimed glares every time they were in the same room, openly defying him, yelling rude remarks when Severus gave him detention, which was all the time. _

_Severus had to role his eyes, even though the boy has proven himself as fearless as they come, he was still stupid. Severus just made him scrub cauldrons, had the Carrows gotten to him, Longbottom would have been beaten within the inch of his life. That Severus went out of his way to catch the troublemakers before the Carrows was an act of mercy and the only way he could protect the students most of the time. _

_And then there was one particular student who wasn't even present. Harry Potter, how much anguish had that boy brought Severus through the years?_

_Severus had never been able to put his emotions into words regarding him, and he really did hate the boy. He hated everything the boy stood for, the feelings he was forced to confront when he looked at him._

_Remorse, fear, shame, uncertainty, things Severus didn't know how to deal with. Harry Potter was a walking breathing reminder of all his worst regrets, he was a picture of any hate Severus had for himself as well, it hurt to merely look at him. The moment the boy stepped into the Great Hall Severus' mistakes were thrown into his face again, and as the little eleven-year old sat there at the Gryffindor table their eyes had met, Lily's green eyes in James Potter's face, taunting him, making his insides squirm. He knew then that he would never be able to tolerate the boy, hated to be in the same room with him unable to think straight whenever Harry Potter was involved. The eyes and scar would constantly pierce his already wounded soul._

_In their occlumency lessons, as Potter had looked into Severus' mind gaining glimpses of his childhood Severus had felt weirdly pleased, even triumphant then Potter had said it was Severus' job to spy on the Dark Lord, it had been acknowledgement! Severus did not know why he had felt that way, but to have the brat acknowledge what Severus was and what he had to go through had been pleasant. But then the boy just had to do it and sneak into the pensive to watch THAT! Witness Severus' greatest shame! Severus had been genuinely furious barely restraining himself from strangling the brat. If he had not pulled Potter out the next bit would have been the confrontation at the portrait of the Fat Lady, and Severus' proclamations he would show them all, show the world what he was capable of. _

_"Fine! I don't need you mudblood! You should feel honoured that I've ever graced you with my friendship Evans!" he had actually yelled right outside the closed portrait, and then stayed on that path for the next four years. And Potter had forced him to confront it all again! Even see for himself what had happened! It was Severus' own shame and he didn't want anyone to know, least of all Potter!_

_Nothing about Potter from Severus' point of view could be defined by mere words, to top it he was also James Potter's son! James Potter the arrogant prat! But in the end Lily had chosen him, and why was that? Because he grew up and proved himself a better man than Severus! And that hurt... very much... and those damn eyes and that stupid scar... he did not want to see them!_

_Lily... it was all about Lily wasn't it? They kept saying Harry Potter was Lily's boy. Trouble was that Severus had difficulty seeing Harry Potter even as a person, just the product of all his wrong choices and worst mistakes on two legs. When looking at the boy, thinking about him, it was impossible to overcome all those regrets, not even Dumbledore understood that._

_Yet every time the insolent brat was in danger Severus' guts had been in knots, his heart cringing terrified for the boy's safety, always. _

_The first year when somebody was clearly targeting the boy had been a pain, the second year when the chamber was opened had been nails-pulling, the third year when Sirius Black escaped had been rubbing salt into open wounds, the fourth year had been paralysing fear, the fifth year after Voldemort's return had been a living nightmare, and it did not help that he had sent a Howler to Petunia... that was proof that he cared... something he didn't want to acknowledge and thus had treated the boy worse than ever. Last year with Voldemort out in the open had been vast darkness eating away in Severus' chest, this year with Potter out there alone, Voldemort as strong as before and Severus trapped here trying to help people who detested him... this was hell!_

_If there was one thing Severus was missing more than anything else, something so simple and yet so meaningful, it was his simmering cauldrons. He would be willing to sever his right arm for an hour alone brewing potions, letting the bubbling liquid demand all his attention while he worked with his hands. Maybe experiment a little like he often did in his nonexistent free time, he never had made a bad potion, only a better one than before. When he stood there concentrating his head would stop buzzing and he would be the closest he could ever get to peace._

_That was one of the many drawbacks of being intelligent he mused, it meant that his head would never be quiet, always full of thoughts and theories about anything and everything. It was enough to drive anyone insane! Brewing potions was something Severus had needed badly all his life, the only way he knew to truly relax and even that was now denied him. _

_McGonagall was standing in front of him, her eyes filled with anguish and disgust... betrayal. "At least do try and show some remorse!" she spat at him._

_Severus just looked at her not showing any feelings. "You have my orders Minerva, patrol the school grounds every night, there must be always at least two teachers awake." _

"_And what good would that do? Aren't your precious Dementors enough to keep rebellious students in check?" She mocked hatefully._

"_Just do it!" Severus snapped at her. Merlin woman, use your brains, protect the students from the Dementors and get them before the Carrows do, lie to me about having caught them, just make sure that the Carrows don't kill them! Take the opportunity and go!_

_McGonagall sniffed. "You really had me you know, I thought better of you. Are you happy now to have fooled us all?"_

"_Don't try my patience," Severus whispered through gritted teeth. _

_McGonagall shook her head. "I still remember you as a nervous little eleven-year old, even those Carrows," she looked at him sadly. "Such great potential, and then see the outcome being... that!" There was a clear sense of defeat in the word._

"_If you don't have anything of importance to tell me, kindly leave," Severus hissed dangerously._

"_Very well," McGonagall lifted a disapproving eyebrow, but headed for the door. "What would Albus have said?" she asked closing it behind her._

_That I'm doing a really good job, and then probably give me a biscuit and pat me on the head, Severus thought darkly._

_He was Severus Snape. _

_Dangerous, mean, strong... trapped and completely helpless. _

_He was soon to die, it didn't matter at whose hands, but die he would. And he didn't care because he was also a man who had nothing left to lose._

Severus was not sure how he got there being so deep in thought and memory that he had not noticed where he was going. He was standing on the porch of the Evans's home now feeling the night breeze on his face. Stepping out on the wet grass he felt it against his bare feet not remembering to ever tried it, not since childhood at least.

He looked up at the sky adorned only by a few clouds, the new moon lit up the grass and the apple tree swaying in the wind. To his left was a small flowerbed filled with flowers, mostly lilies, petunias, marguerites and violets. He wondered who in Lily's family was called Violet. Her grandmother maybe or an aunt? Didn't really matter, but was still interesting to figure out.

It was an odd assortment of flowers to plant together, probably not the arrangement people would choose in a bouquet, but they seemed quite right in that flowerbed, as if truly belonging together and should not be torn apart... even the lily and petunia.

_Severus was sitting at a table in Hogshead. One of the many places Order members would meet now, with 12 Grimmauld Place useless as Headquarters because of Black's death a little over six month ago. It was now February and snow was falling from a gray sky outside. They were alone and had ensured it stayed that way for the time being. _

"_I don't like that he lays low at the moment," Moody grunted. "It can't be just sitting around doing nothing."_

"_It isn't," Severus commented. "He is recruiting."_

"_The number of werewolves in the pack has doubled in less than two months," Lupin nodded. "They are easily convinced by the promise of a better life." _

"_But that can't be it!" Moody's magical eye was fixed on Severus. "If he just wants recruits, continuing display of power would be the obvious thing to do, now that everyone knows that he's out there anyway."_

"_Indeed," Severus nodded. "He is very keen on conquering the two strongholds of the wizarding world for exactly that reason. He is infiltrating the Ministry, taking it from within, so it is already in his grasp when he attacks."_

"_What is the other place?" McGonagall asked. _

"_Isn't it obvious Minerva?" Severus lifted an eyebrow at her. "Hogwarts." _

_They pondered it silently. _

"_Makes sense," Moody contributed. _

_Shacklebolt shook his head. "The place of all fresh talent..." _

"_But in the entire history of Hogwarts the school has never fallen to an outside attack," McGonagall pointed out. "It cannot be conquered."_

"_Don't be so sure," Severus said darkly. "The school is not as impenetrable as we would like it to be. Only three years ago a wanted Sirius Black managed to get into it, and a year later a real Death Eater walked among us in disguise."_

"_Don't remind me," Moody's eye whirled around looking through the back of his head, probably checking if somebody was listening again. _

"_By individuals, yes, but Voldemort would not be able to take it with an army," McGonagall stated, though uncertainly._

"_Regardless," Severus insisted. "We should keep our guard up." _

"_Constant vigilance!" Moody bellowed. _

"_He wants to take the Ministry from within and he hopes to do the same with Hogwarts," Severus looked at them._

"_Infiltrate the school?" Tonks snorted, "as if he could get Death Eaters inside."_

"_Oh, but he already thinks he has," Moody smirked. "Use your brains Nymphadora, I know you have them."_

_She blushed lightly her mouse brown hair falling into her eyes, and looked warily to her left trying to capture Lupin's eyes, who insisted on looking away from her though. "But Severus although very powerful, couldn't be enough to take down the castle, could he?"_

"_In any case it doesn't matter," McGonagall snapped at her. "Severus is with us!" she stated with absolute assurance. _

_The meeting ended some time after that, unproductively as discussing and theorising was all they had done so far._

_"Severus, would you mind waiting a minute?" McGonagall asked._

_Severus sighed but refrained from rolling his eyes sitting down again with Lupin and McGonagall. _

"_Severus," McGonagall asked carefully. "Do you happen to know what kept Dumbledore?"_

"_I have no idea," he answered truthfully. _

"_Do you know what he's up to then?" McGonagall sighed. "Is he ill?" _

"_He is up to a lot of things Minerva," Severus told her firmly wanting to avoid this conversation, recent fights with Dumbledore ringing in his head... and the task bestowed upon him. "And I don't even know half of it, the things I do now however he had forbidden me to tell." _

"_Severus," McGonagall implored. "I know he only wants the best for us all, but I'm led to believe he's asking too much of you."_

_Lupin nodded from the other side of the table. _

_Snape looked darkly at them, oh if they only knew... how easy it would be to tell them right now. _

"_I know you don't hold me in a high opinion," Lupin hesitated. "But if you need anything, I would be willing to do what I can." _

_Severus felt a chuckle building in his throat. The gesture was extraordinary nice unlike most towards Severus, but what could Remus Lupin have to offer him? Nothing. That the man continued to stand by him was very admirable, especially considering how Severus treated him even to this day. He shook his head amused, how persistent Lupin could be and how foolish._

"_That goes for me as well Severus," McGonagall told him seriously. "I don't like to see you being all alone with those dark secrets, you can come to me whenever you wish and you won't be intruding." _

"_Very kind," Severus stood up. "But I must decline. If you excuse me I have things to do." And he walked out on them. He knew he was being rude, but unable to stand their sincere faces for another moment, showing worry and even carrying, which he had no idea how to deal with let alone where it did come from. He knew how their faces would look soon, which made him all the more reluctant to fulfil his task. He wanted out of it but couldn't. He had to protect Hogwarts and everything it stood for._

Severus covered his face with his hands taking a deep breath. The wind caressed him dampening his nightshirt although it wasn't raining, just the morning dew. Small drops of water condensed on leaves and blades of grass, the spider web to his left became a beautiful mosaic of diamonds.

It was all a dream, Severus told himself. As far as this world and reality is concerned it was nothing but a dream.

He trembled slightly as a drop of water fell down his cheek and all the way to the grass.

On the horizon the very first rays of sun crept over the landscape making all the dew sparkle beautifully in a magnificent show of ordinary nature. The lilies swayed in the wind, while the petunias stood still displaying their own beauty, the marguerites in between just letting them to it. The violets shyly asked permission to join tipped to the side, looking proud though to be part of this family.

The small flowers were met by morning, together with the little white mistflower coming from outside.

_Carry my soul into the night  
May the stars light my way  
I glory in the sight  
As darkness takes the day_

_Ferte in noctem animam meam  
Illustrent stellae viam meam  
Aspectu illo glorior  
Dum capit nox diem_

_Cantate vitae canticum  
Sine dolore actae  
Dicite eis quos amabam  
Me numquam obliturum_

_Sing a song, a song of life  
Lived without regret  
Tell the ones, the ones I loved  
I never will forget, never will forget_

Noctum: Latin for "darkness", also used for "hell" and "eternal damnation", when people are send "at noctum", which means literally "into the darkness".

Noctum rules the night.

The lyrics are from a song called "In Noctum" composed for Harry Potter six, but cut out in the final draft of the movie. I can see why it was cut, as it seemed to halt the action for no reason, it would have been stuck in between Harry and Dumbledore returning from the cave and the confrontation at the tower. That would probably not have worked. But it still seems such a shame as the song is so beautiful, beautiful and sorrowful, the footage of the song sequence incredibly dark and moody in my mind. Gorgeous! It is to be found on the DVD, and the entire song is featured on the CD, check it out. I had it almost constantly on repeat as I wrote this.

And what I find the most stunning about this song is how much I felt it to be Snape's song. I really had the impression that it was written for Snape alone. The lyrics fit him and are foreboding for what he is about to do... plus saying a lot about him. "Never will forget" is kind of his biggest motivation!

The theme "Noctum", which is present quite a lot in the movie, should as far as I am concerned have been called "Snape's theme", because it just is his theme, no questions about it.

And yeah, despite this chapter being really long, it has zero to do with the overall plot, but I hope you can forgive me my indulgence. I really, really enjoyed writing this!


	7. Morning Sun

It was quite early in the morning, though already light outside as it was summer.

The sunrays floated through the kitchen window of the Evans's house landing on Severus and warming him.

He was just sitting there enjoying the sensation while sipping a nice cup of tea, allowing himself to relax, a smile playing on his lips.

Lazily he discovered his cup was empty and slowly rose to pour some more at the kitchen counter. That was until a voice disrupted his rare mood of idyllic peace making him cringe.

"Well!" that horrid screeching stated. "You're able to walk just fine!"

Urgh... Petunia, how that scrawny sour woman and Lily were related was beyond Severus, and he had thought this was going to be a good morning? Annoyed he grumbled under his breath not even turning around to face her.

"Excuse me, I didn't quite hear that," Petunia retorted. "Could you say it a bit louder?"

"Morning Ms. Evans," Severus hissed through his teeth.

"Well, you seem to be back on your feet," Petunia snorted.

"As always your sense of deduction is absolutely flawless Ms. Evans," he rolled his eyes still with his back to her.

"It's rude to keep your back turned from the one you talk to," she sniffed.

Sighing Severus turned around. "Indeed," he sneered.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Petunia demanded.

Severus raised his head. "I am looking," he stated.

"Well," Petunia retorted. "How am I supposed to know with that hair in the way?"

Groaning Severus looked up to the ceiling and counted to five, tentatively reaching for his hair and tucking it behind his ears, meaning unfortunately that the horse-faced Petunia was now in full view. "Anything you wanted?" he asked at last. How could he ever have thought this was going to be a good morning?

"Yeah, you're back on your feet as I said," Petunia crossed her arms. "So when are you going to leave? Your home is just down the street!"

Severus shook his head annoyed looking up to the ceiling once more. "I thought I had perfect understanding with your parents that I could stay until term starts," he glared directly at Petunia. "Have you missed that point? If I had somewhere else to go I would have, but the thing is that I don't. So what are you going to do about it Ms. Evans?" he asked crossing his arms as well. "Answer me!" he snapped.

Petunia gulped and paled now intimidated. "Why are you doing this to me?" she asked unexpectedly.

Severus raised an eyebrow wracking his brains for a meaning to this. As far as he could tell he had been rather nice to her in the past weeks. "Doing what?" He asked confused. "Care to elaborate Ms. Evans?"

"I know you're up to something," Petunia persisted. "You were always mean to me, so we might as well get over it now. Scare me! Do your worst," she took a breath. "You're just a freak!"

Severus rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to be mean."

"But you used to..."

"I grew up!" he cut her off annoyed. "I don't walk around placing spiders in people's hair any more. Please Ms. Evans, do I come across like that this time? I just want to have some peace and quiet," he sneered. "Have I since my arrival here done anything to scare or harm you?"

"And you think I'm going to buy this!" Petunia exclaimed. "Listen to yourself freak, or are you telling me you don't intend to be scary, you're worse than my Math teacher! You're doing it on purpose, just admit it! You always do!"

"Miss Evans!" Severus cut in. "May I remind you that you were the one who started this!"

"Stop calling me that!"

Severus blinked at her. "Excuse me?"

"Why are you doing this to me?" she screeched. "Don't call me Ms. Evans!"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You don't want me to call you Petunia, do you?" he asked.

"Er..." Petunia looked uncertain. "No!" she breathed twisting her fingers nervously.

"And I take it, Tuney is also out of question," Severus continued.

Petunia bit her lip.

"Then," he sneered, "we are running out of options."

She sighed defeated and looked down. "Fine," she muttered, "call me Petunia." She trembled slightly clearly afraid of him.

Severus knew how to be scary. He did not know how to stop, so it was of little use even trying.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked again. "What have I ever done to you?"

"I can honestly say I have no idea what you're talking about," Severus said sternly. "Petunia it's you who is prying, I just want to be left alone, so stop putting your nose where it doesn't belong."

"Don't talk to me like that young man!" Petunia snapped.

Severus didn't manage to suppress the chuckle bubbling up his throat as he tried to decide what was more ridiculous, the immature nineteen-year old who had just called him a young man or that he would let her without sending her to scrub cauldrons for hours on end, or at least deliberately scare the wits out of her.

"What's so funny?" Petunia asked.

"Nothing," Severus shook his head amused. "Just thinking what well mannered and disciplined children you are going to raise."

"Well at least I'm going to be a much better role model than that Eileen person."

The smile disappeared from Severus' face, anger boiling in his chest at once. Oddly enough, in his previous life Petunia's insolence wouldn't have bothered him. Was this what a son's love felt like?

"Don't talk about my mother in that way," he hissed furiously, straightening up and looking down his nose at her. "You have no idea what she has been through! Do you think she liked living in that hell hole, liked being denied food and simple human rights? Do you think she enjoyed being assaulted so much that she even forgot what her rights were, forgot about such things like magic or even hope?"

"I... I..." Petunia gulped. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Then think woman, you saw!" he sneered. "She had a large heart, but was robbed of the ability to show love, or anything else for that matter, by that monkey who somehow got mistaken for a human! The only thing she could do was occasionally yell at him until she got beaten, so please Ms. Evans! Think! Think before you speak!" he almost yelled the last part.

Startled Petunia stumbled back her lips trembling and her eyes getting wet.

Shit! Severus turned away to distance himself from her. Don't cry now! For Merlin's sake, Lily would have his head if she found her sister crying because of him, and not only that, Petunia was the daughter of the people who took care of him. He didn't know how to ease the tension as it made him unsure and annoyed. He hated that, but he had to do something! He took a deep breath. "I'm..." here it comes, another redefining moment in his life. This was forceful rewriting of who he was, for the better or worse. "I'm sorry," he breathed at last. "I shouldn't have lost my temper with you."

Petunia looked surprised. She swallowed. "I'm sorry too," she looked down to the ground. "About Eileen and..."

"Please don't mention it," Severus waved her off. "She's in a better place now I know that for a fact."

Embarrassed Petunia looked away. "I... I should go," she muttered with sunken shoulders, turned around and walked away.

Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose. Merlin, it was absolutely horrendous!

"Er," a much more pleasant voice interrupted him now, "who are you and what did you do to Severus Snape?"

Severus looked up to see the radiant beauty which was Lily Evans look at him a little red cheeked and flustered, standing in a too big night shirt which could pass off for a dress, just looking all around good.

"How long have you been listening in?" he asked.

"Erm," Lily thought it over, "from when you asked Tuney what you should call her." She looked apologetic. "It was hard not to hear from the living room, and I didn't dare go in, I honestly didn't know what I was supposed to do," she nervously fingered with her hair. "I'm glad you could manage to work it out... somewhat."

Severus smiled lightly. "Then I'm glad I apologised."

"Hey!" Lily put up a finger. "No way! You can't both apologise to my sister _and_ be happy about it!"

Severus raised an eyebrow.

Lily raised one in return. "Severus Snape may one day grow up to be above childish pranks, he may one day become quite mature and even gain the ability to realise it when he's losing his temper," she leaned forward crossing her arms. "But Severus Snape will never ever apologise to my sister and he will most certainly never be happy about it."

"People change?" he tried.

"You lost your marbles," Lily shook her head bemused.

Severus smirked. "Maybe I have," he shrugged. "So little of this makes sense, and you standing there looking so good."

"Nonsense, I always look stunningly beautiful," she teased shaking her head, her hair cascading down her shoulders elegantly. And Severus could only agree looking at her, she was very beautiful, it was the only way to describe it.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "So... who are you?"

Severus looked uncomfortable. "Er..."

Amused Lily shook her head. "Don't look like that, I was only joking!" She sighed and sat down by the table. "...but Merlin, you have grown Sev."

He joined her slowly, his eyes flickering to the table and back at her, before just settling on his folded hands. "You know why," he muttered unsure. Why was it he could be so secure in any other situation but a casual talk with Lily? Yet it was extremely relieving not having to lie anymore.

"I do," Lily sighed. "And the more I think about it, the more I realise it makes perfect sense." She cocked an eyebrow. "I was wondering just this evening why that point in life? Why not earlier or later?"

She had been up all night thinking? Probably, not only probably, most certainly. She had been thinking about everything he had told her ever since they made it home yesterday. Severus looked down on his hands, he knew he would answer any question she would ask. Some strange force demanded it, perhaps it was his guilt or simply fatigue, though it was also more than that. He just wanted her to know, for the better or worse. "I was lead back to my greatest regret," he answered, "to undo that single mistake from where everything started going down the hill afterwards."

He sighed deeply closing his eyes before opening them again to look at her. "You know I would tell you anything you ask, if there is something you need to know you will," he took a deep breath. "But please consider your questions."

Lily regarded him sadly. "I don't think I needed to ask that one," she looked down and twisted her hands much like Petunia had. "I would be lying if I said I didn't know the answer."

She knew very well what kind of crossroad they had been facing, and what was about to happen before the sudden change in Sev's behaviour was only to obvious. She had been thinking it, questioning if it was worth clinging to their smouldering friendship. She had seen the things he had done already and what they were evolving to, leading to a path which she could never be a part of, nor wanted to. Only because of him had she come so close, and she knew she had to make him realise it. It was her or them, it would be his choice but choose he had to. It was a miracle he had come back to her and the right path at last.

Yet Lily could not help feeling so sad right now, sad that he had to go this far before being able to come back, sad for him and his helplessness this very moment. _Consider your questions carefully..._

It was clear as daylight, he was completely at her mercy, she could ask whatever she wanted and he would answer, but it felt wrong. It felt like she was prying on something incredibly personal, and now that she knew she could see that he was guilt-ridden. That was the emotion she hadn't been able to read at all since that day, because it had been so foreign on his face. For as long as Lily had known him he had never felt guilty over anything or showed the tiniest bit of remorse. Now he wore those emotions as if they were his natural face expression, which made it the more easy for her to do serious harm without meaning to. He had the right to keep those things to himself having been through a lot already, and yet something was telling her that he wanted her to know. She needed to tread carefully and not abuse his trust.

What he had told her had been incredibly truthful, that he did indeed turn dark and was able to kill. The trust he had in her was immense and made Lily feel rather inadequate, because she couldn't understand, not really. She honestly had no idea why he had been so honest in first place. This was so hard...

There had been a time Lily knew everything there was to know about Severus Snape. There was no going back to that, she would never be able to understand him fully again.

"I only wish..." she whispered, "I could have a better idea of what is going through your head right now." He was a mystery to her which she sometimes could read, but mostly couldn't. Just like in this very moment.

"I don't know what I could possibly do to make it happen," Severus said looking at her sincerely. "And I'm not sure I should even attempt to, my mind is not a pleasant place to be."

"Maybe if we had a Pensieve," Lily mused. "Then I could have just a glimpse."

Severus regarded her sadly with those deep incredibly dark eyes. "If that's really what you want," he muttered unsure, "but there is no telling the consequences. You warned me so many times in the past about the repercussions of my choices, consider this my warning."

Lily swallowed looking into his pale young face, which seemed not that young any more, least of all his eyes. She wondered how he had looked like in that future or past.

"I don't need to see your memories," she decided. "Those are yours, we should live in the present not the past, especially not a past which haven't happened. You earned a second chance for a reason, I'm absolutely sure!" She looked down at her folded hands. "I only wish to see the real you, what you look like," she shook her head. "Maybe then..."

"You really want that?" he asked surprised. "I'm not a pretty sight, that's for sure."

Lily chuckled. "You never had faith in yourself, did you?" she rolled her eyes. "Some things never change."

A faint smile played on Severus' lips before disappearing into a serious expression. "I'm asking you now, is it what you want?"

Lily looked at him and already knew her answer. Just this one time, she promised herself, just a peek to be able to understand him better. "Yes," she said. "I don't need much, only a glimpse."

"Very well," Severus nodded resigned.

"Wait, you mean..." she stared, "you can do it without a Pensieve?"

Severus smirked. "A Pensieve is nothing but a storage unit and you only requested a glimpse, beside that I'm well wandered in Occlumency and am decent in Legilimency, it will only be a matter of using those skills in reverse."

"Isn't it magic? You're sixteen, er... technically."

"Yes, a unique brand of magic," Severus confirmed, "and very obscure at that. Like Animagi it's done wandlessly, in fact anything concerning the mind is supposed to be as it is literately your mind doing the work, so it can't be traced."

"Oh," Lily could not help but be utterly fascinated by this. "Fine," she smiled. "Let's do it."

Severus moved into the chair beside her. "And you are absolutely sure?" He asked again.

Lily nodded, not smiling, taking this more seriously than anything before.

Severus placed a finger on his temple and drew it away slowly with a silvery string attached to it, looking like glittering fog or some sort of silver liquid.

"Nothing happens in this memory," he told her. "It's just me in my home drinking some Firewhiskey."

"I would suffice I think," Lily smiled faintly.

The finger with the silver string was placed on her temple and Lily gasped whirling down into a memory before landing on her feet, surprisingly feeling Severus' presence right behind her. Slowly she turned around and gasped taking a step backwards. This was not the memory Severus because he responded to her, but still, he looked so much older and so unlike his present self, so sickly and sallow almost like a corpse. Though he was not that tall it felt like the black dressed figure towered over her intimidating, if she didn't know him she would have considered him some sort of dark creature. He was the picture of what an evil wizard should look like, from his cold black eyes stealing away the light rather than giving it, to his raven hair greased, tangled and lifeless framing his sallow face, his slender yellowed fingers and his thin frame, everything... except the sad and exhausted air around him and his strained posture and face expression. It was how he saw himself in his mind she realised.

Severus raised an eyebrow at her and she realised she must look shocked. He examined his hand. "Oh, I should have known," he murmured seeing the parchment yellow skin. Such an unnatural colour, it was what dark magic did to people, Lily knew that, and she would be lying if she said it didn't scare her. Severus sighed deeply a look of dreading anxiety coming over his face as he pulled his sleeve up slowly. He turned away closing his eyes in disgust to get as far as possible from whatever was revealed.

"What is it?" Lily asked.

Severus just showed her. She swallowed seeing the Dark Mark, a skull with a snake, pulsing on his arm wreathing and hurting. She looked into his sallow face with strings of greasy black hair falling into his eyes, eyes that now looked in sheer disgust at the mark and then anxiously at her, as if afraid she would spit on him and hate him now. Why would she? He had been honest and told her about it, if he hadn't then maybe, but now it shouldn't be a surprise. They were here at her request, she had to at least try and be polite about it, no matter how uneasy she felt, and besides...

"It's the past," she said sounding more firmly than she felt. "It's only there because you imagine it!" She gathered her courage and grabbed his hand for assurance ignoring the unease. "You are here for a reason," she told him looking directly into his black eyes. It might have been her imagination, but as she had done so, his eyes became a little less tired and his skin less like parchment, not to mention the Mark had stopped pulsing.

Suddenly she noticed a movement and turned to see Severus' memory self rise from the comfortable looking wine-red armchair he had been sitting in and start pacing the small but nice room. It was filled with books standing on dark wooden shelves, a few jars with pickled animals and plants were there as well. There wasn't a speck of dust anywhere or anything out of order. Some things Lily could identify as potions ingredients, others she guessed were the same, though it seemed pretty strange to have a jar of floating eyeballs standing on a Shakespeare novel. Honestly what had he been thinking with that? The only dark item was the skull placed with the books on a shelf for some reason. Knowing Severus it could not be just decoration, he had always been extremely practical. The rest... well, it looked quite nice. "Where are we?" Lily asked glancing around, still holding his hand.

"Don't you recognise it? It's my parent's old house."

"Oh," Lily was surprised. "I've never seen it look so, er... nice you know." Unlike the few glimpses she had so far this was tidy and well kept, nothing was worn out or second hand but of topmost quality. No wonder though as he had always hated the fact that he was poor, well... apparently he had made it pretty good for himself. She watched the other Severus lean against the wall lost in thought. It was ironical that everything in here was of the best quality, but the owner himself looked so worn. He really did, he wasn't a scrawny awkward teenager any more, yet was still so sallow. Lily seriously found herself asking if she was looking at a corpse. And yet he seemed not much different from the Severus whose hand she was holding... his eyes so cold with dark shadows underneath them, and absolutely tired.

"Want to go back?" Severus asked.

"Wait," Lily said watching the other Severus raise his wand, "just one more moment."

Severus hesitated unsure, but then gave in sighing, "very well."

The other Severus whispered, "Expecto Patronum," and a beautiful silver doe burst out of his wand.

"What is this?" Lily asked intrigued observing the magnificent creature he had conjured. She had never seen anything so beautiful, not even a unicorn.

"A Patronus," Severus responded.

"What is it for?" Lily then asked fascinated.

"Many things, though mostly to drive away Dementors," Severus looked at it. "I however just conjured it to compose my mind. It sort of reminded me what I was supposed to do, made things seem clearer."

"Evening Lily."

Lily jumped as it was not her Severus who had spoken. Could the other one see her? Warily she looked at him, but discovered he was talking to the doe.

"I really don't want to do this anymore," the memory Severus looked absolutely worn out despite being not exactly old. "But I don't have a say. It's all just happening around me, and I can only..." his voice sounded hoarse and tired like everything else about him, his sagging shoulders, the shadows underneath his eyes and his sallow face. The memory shook its head. "How did I end up just a pawn?" the memory sadly asked the doe. "I'm so tired of everything, can't wait for it to end."

Lily knew suddenly that this was private, she had no right. "Let's go," she said. "I've seen more than enough."

Then without warning it knocked on the door. The Patronus was cancelled at once and the memory Severus' head snapped up no longer looking sad or exhausted. He stood straight narrowing his eyes in the direction of the door, not a single sign of weakness showing. "Now who could that be?" neither did his voice reflect any of the prior tiredness sounding demanding instead. Now he just looked purely strong, intimidating... and cold.

Lily felt herself whirl back to the real world and gasped opening her eyes to discover Sev's hand still on her temple, and their faces quite close. She looked into his black eyes and young, not sallow but pale face, feeling her heart up her throat. For some moments they just sat in silence before he realised he still had his hand on her and shyly removed it, taking the silver string with it and placing it back into his head.

"That's the real me," Sev told her, "old, grumpy, sulky and dark."

"You're not old!" she stated at once. "Not back there and even less here. And as for the other things, you don't have to be. It's not what you want, so you don't have to."

Defeated Sev shook his head. "Merlin, you're young Lily," he sighed.

Annoyed Lily twisted her lips and leaned back. "You know what we need?"

Severus shook his head.

"We need to spark some youth into your mental self image," she stated. "You only look like that because that's how you imagine yourself."

"I suppose," Severus furrowed his brows clearly thinking it over.

"And you know what you looked like?"

Sev shook his head again.

"Worn out! You just looked tired of life or like something had sucked all happiness out of you," she lectured him. "What you need is a recharge!"

Severus stared at the red haired beauty in front of him having no clue as to what on earth she could be talking about.

"So," she smiled mischievously. "What do you want to do?"

Severus blinked at her nothing coming to mind. "I've got something I need to deliver to the Ministry," he hesitated. "That would be nice to be done with."

"Sev," she shook her head amused. "When I said recharge I meant fun. What you said sounds like work, what do you want to do for fun?"

Was he supposed to answer that? Severus hadn't had fun since he was... well, sixteen but still! He didn't know what to say. "Whatever you want," he only hoped he wouldn't regret it.

Lily lifted and eyebrow at him looking rather defeated. "I definitely have my work cut out for me here," she commented dryly. "We're supposed to do what _you_ want to, not I. But well..." she sighed. "How about we go for a swim, it's really hot."

Severus stared at her horrified. No way in hell was he going somewhere public in bathing shorts.

Lily caught sight of his expression and went on to the next idea. "What about going to town and shoot some hoops?"

Shoot some hoops, what did that even mean? He had done it once apparently... ah, playing basketball... yes, this woman was insane!

Thankfully Lily seemed to realise what he was thinking. "Yeah, definitely have my work cut out for me," she muttered. "Well, a movie should be harmless, right? Everybody seems to go on about that Jaws thing that was released recently," she looked at Severus as if ordering him to just shrug and comply, "and you are going to come with us to the zoo next week."

Severus suddenly felt like a child being lectured, but of course just ended up nodding.

In zoo in London a week later, Lily was sighing deeply, she really had a long way to go with that man. She had tried to let him have some fun, but he did prefer the more calm activities. She supposed wizard's chess and gardening had been successful, he had managed to look like he enjoyed himself while doing that. To her great amusement he had seemed bored beyond reason at the movie, while everyone else had been screaming in delighted horror.

She also started planning to set up their potions sets so they could experiment. That had always made him excited in the past and working on new charms even more so. Spells were his true passion, the more powerful the better and the more excited he would become... or had in the past, it didn't even matter that they were sixteen and not on school grounds. This excitement seemed to be one of the things he had grown out of and one she missed actually. As much as it had led to greed and therefore dangerous waters, there was no denying that it was charming to see him so happy. It had been enjoyable and most importantly quite inspiring! To develop these things with him, see his sheer excitement, always rubbed off on Lily and she became excited over any kind of breakthrough as well.

And that was now lacking. Apparently he found no reason seeking out new ways to make a charm or develop a potion. For as long as Lily had known him he had been a true Slytherin, an overachiever, always wanting more out of life, always wanting to become more, better, to prove himself, make sure that his future would lead to greatness. It was a dangerous game that's why so many Slytherins fell into the trap, especially those with no restrains who thought the goals outweighed the means, or simply didn't realise what the means were... like Sev. It was what their house was all about and he had been the truest of them all, which was both good and bad. He wasn't a true Slytherin anymore because he had no ambition left, which was both good and bad in its own right.

Lily had a bit of difficulty with this because she didn't know what he was anymore, thinking of the image of his older self, how he had gone from exhausted to dangerous in less than a second, and absolutely cold. Somehow Lily had gotten the impression Severus had made them stay those extra seconds on purpose, as if wanting her to see it. Furthermore she had a feeling he wanted something from her, something very specific, but Lily honestly couldn't figure out what it was or how she was supposed to give it. She found that she wanted to though, he had been more nice to her than ever before, not only when they were alone but in general, and she did want to help, give him whatever could set his mind at ease, but as she didn't even know what it was it was kind of difficult.

Silently she watched Sev as he observed the wolves stepping back as one came too close to the fence. He didn't like wolves obviously and as much as it was amusing it was also sad. Lily couldn't blame him. He had told her what had happened at the Whomping Willow, which had caused him to take yet another step towards darkness genuinely wanting the Marauders dead, wanting revenge. Not to mention that after all those years, a life time ago, he was still terrified of werewolves as the experience had left a permanent mark on him.

He had not been able to tell her before because he had promised to the Headmaster not to let Remus' secret slip, now however as she knew anyway there was no reason not to. It was ironic because Lily remembered very clearly how it had looked for her. It was the point where the rift really started emerging between them. The Marauders had been in a fight as well, Remus had been extremely angry with Black, and Sev's vendetta against them had suddenly turned very serious. More than ever had he craved power and hated the Gryffindors genuinely wanting them to suffer and even die.

That was the past though, this Sev was trying to give her a clear picture for the better or worse, wanted her to know that he was dark, and exactly because he was so honest it was difficult to be angry with him. He was no longer vengeful just sad and she didn't feel like asking what he was thinking anymore, she could trust him enough to let it be his own business. He would never hurt anyone now despite what he said. She was not blind, he had reached the point where he just wanted peace and other things therefore mattered less.

In the past peace had rarely been on his face, and as they had grown older it became even rarer. She hadn't seen it for a year at least. The only thing she should worry about right now was if he is going to take care of himself. The image of his older self looked more dead than alive and so damn tired of everything. The real him he had said, she couldn't really believe that. Well yeah, it was him but only partly, she really had a hard time figuring this out. Lily felt Sev walk up from behind and look over her shoulder at the stags and does in front of her.

"I always had a weakness for does," Lily said mindlessly. "Don't know why really, they just always seemed... magical to me, and nice."

"A doe is an animal representing kindness, protection, motherly love, healing and bridges between different worlds," Sev listed. "It's not that surprising you like them. A doe is the animal representing you."

"I thought that was you," Lily looked at him surprised. "I mean that Patronus..."

Severus smirked leaning over the fence with her. "If you became an animagus you would turn into the animal representing you. The Patronus is representing your strength."

Lily gaped at him. "Me? I am your strength? Even after all this time?"

Sev smiled fondly at her. "Who says it was you? Like you're the only person represented by a doe."

"Hmpf," Lily tightened her lips looking annoyed. "You called it Lily."

"So I did," Severus shrugged still smiling. "I'm glad you don't mind."

Defeated Lily shook her head feeling sad as she looked at a doe. "I broke your heart didn't I?"

"No," Severus told her firmly. "You gave me a heart in first place. You were nice to me, though I didn't deserve it," he sighed. "Without you I probably would have been no better than the Dark Lord. I would never have known what it meant to care for anyone but myself, or even understand the concept." He looked at the stags and the does. "That's why."

"Still I..."

"You did what you had to do," he shrugged. "I'm just glad you wanted to be my friend in first place."

"I'm too," Lily smiled giving in. "Thank you for being my friend Sev. I honestly am glad that you are in my life."

And like when he was a little boy Sev brightened up, a small but genuine smile emerging on his lips making him look even less like his older self. He could be different than what she had seen and the small light in his eyes was proof of that. He might not have noticed it, but he had grown more and more sallow each year that went by at Hogwarts, this last month though he had actually grown less and it suited him. It was so great they were able to talk openly now, it really was alleviating, but...

Lily shook her head, apparently she could do no wrong in this Sev's eyes, probably because he saw her as a saint coming back from the dead and was guilt ridden beyond measure. She hoped he would get over it soon and remember that she was actually no one special, just her, bad tempered and impatient, the messy one out of the two of them, not always managing to be on top with her schoolwork... she was just Lily! She didn't want to hurt him either being very much aware how easy she could do so without meaning to. She slid closer to him and leaned over the fence observing the deer.

"So, if I became an animagus I would turn into a doe?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure," Sev nodded.

"God that's boring! Why not a tiger? Or... an eagle, that would be cool!" she grinned at him. "You know to fly without a broom!"

Sev raised an eyebrow at her and she chuckled at his expense. He was too much sometimes, though his next words made her choke.

"You don't need to be an eagle or have a broom to fly. It's easy once you know how."

She stared at him. "What?"

"I said it's easy to fly without such crude forms of cheating," he shrugged.

"You are telling me... that you can fly?"

The look he gave her was answer enough.

"Merlin!" Lily slammed a hand to her forehead. "Is there anything you can't do?"

"Plenty," he responded honestly. "Being powerful does not equal to being almighty."

"Yeah," Lily nodded thoughtfully. "You're still a lousy social person."

"I won't even argue that."

Lily sighed deeply. "And this is the part where you are supposed to say that it's not true and that your dorm mates are fine with you," she told him.

"Well, that would not be true, my dorm mates are not happy with me currently," he smirked.

"And you find that amusing?"

"Yes," he answered smoothly, "very much even."

"You have a cruel sense of humour you know?"

"Is that something that had changed about me?" Severus asked.

Lily considered that. "Nope," she smirked, "absolutely not."


	8. Return of the Toad

Severus was alone as he entered the Ministry Atrium. Lily had asked if she should come with him, but Severus could clearly see that she'd rather go out and do something else. She had spent far too much time just sitting by his side already and he knew she didn't like that for too long, so he had said that she didn't have to. Lily had faked disappointment but ran out to meet Emmeline Vance only three minutes after. He suspected that she would be meeting up with more friends from Hogwarts to actually do the things she wanted, but he really didn't.

"Oh dear!" A very kind looking witch stopped him. "Your shoulder seems to be bruised at the bone, would you want me to fix it before you go back to the muggles?" she asked clearly thinking he was muggleborn because of his clothing, and also because he hadn't been healed by magic. He had borrowed some clothes from Mr. Evans as he did not have any money to buy some for himself. They told him that Mr. Evans did not use them anymore so it was fine.

"That would be very kind," Severus nodded smiling a bit.

A moment later he felt warmth spreading through his shoulder, the soreness that had been there since the incident with his father vanished completely. "Thank you."

"You're welcome dear, what are healers for?" the witch nodded, "though you must excuse me." And she walked past him as if she had only picked up something that he had dropped. Magic was a wonderful thing and it seemed strange that he had not missed it all that much so far. He turned to the counter for registration of newly invented spells, charms, potions and other magic holding a huge stack of parchment under his arm. A quite weird looking wizard stood in front of him. The man's greying hair poked out in all directions under a purple hat, his wizarding robes seemed to be made out of patchwork in random colours and the round glasses made his eyes look huge.

"I swear, this time it's a work of genius!" the man gestured at the witch sitting behind the desk. "It will be appreciated by wizards and witches all over the world."

"Sure it is," the witch shrugged obviously restraining herself from rolling her eyes. "But until you find an actual use for the Confindupolan, you can take it with you and keep the genius to yourself."

"Fine," the wizard snorted hurt. "I know it's brilliant, you'll see!"

Then the witch's eyes fell on Severus he could see annoyance in them. "What have you got kid? A genius prankster charm, which must go down in the history of magic and at the same time make some pocket money?"

"No madam," Severus answered. "In fact I would like to stay anonymous as the creator of this potion."

"Oh," the witch seemed a little more interested.

Severus stepped forward to hand the parchment to her. "Wolfsbane potion," he stated quietly. "It's not a cure for lycanthropy, but it is a considerable ease for their condition."

The witch's eyes widened as she read the description. "Why, Mr. Snape, is it? This is actually something useful with thought behind it." She looked at the formula written down. "This seems very complicated. I'm afraid I have no idea as to how this supposed to work." She looked at the description going into detail about how the potion worked. "Oi, Lansbury!" she shouted over her shoulder. "Come and get a look at this, it might be the genuine thing of the year."

A middle-aged man peered through the doorway interested. "What is it Helen?" he asked with a gleam of excitement in his eyes. Severus supposed it was a big day for them whenever something of real value came in, they would have to do the same boring paperwork every day otherwise.

"It's a potion, Calvin," she handed the man the papers, "try and have a look."

"Oh this in interesting," the man nodded, "seems rather complicated and expensive though, a shame, a lot of people would have been delighted. Who made this?"

Severus cleared his throat. "I did."

The man stared flabbergasted at him then blinked a couple of times. "You?" he asked. "I'm sorry to ask but... how old are you exactly? Are you out of school?"

"I'm not and I'm sixteen," Severus answered annoyed.

"But... how?" Calvin looked between the parchment and Severus a couple of times. "Why?"

"A good friend of mine is a werewolf," Severus lied. "I wanted to help him."

"Well, it's not like there have been much research in the field," the man looked hard at the parchment as if expecting it to suddenly turn blank. "This will need testing."

"Magical animals department?" the woman asked.

"Probably," the man answered.

As much as it was amusing to think of Lupin categorised as an animal Severus could not help but be disgusted at the same time.

"Why don't you go and figure it out?" the man asked his co-worker.

"Me?" The front desk lady seemed to shudder. "But I hate that woman, can't you go?"

"Don't we all," the man shrugged. "It's your turn, you made me go to the muggle department yesterday and it's not like Runcorn is more pleasant than her. They should really just change departments if they hate their subject so much."

"Fine, I'll go," the woman took the parchment and walked towards the elevator.

"Now Mr. Snape," the man thankfully turned back to Severus. "I will need you to sign some papers."

"Is it possible to stay anonymous as the creator?" Severus asked.

The man blinked. "I guess," he said a little hesitant. "Though some higher profiles in research facilities and Ministry members will need to have access to the information, it must be in our archives. But I guess we can try and keep it from the public." He furrowed his brows. "And we will have to call you once the right department had figured out what to do with your invention before testing it. You would like to be present, I suppose?"

Severus considered it then nodded. "Yes." Anything else would seem sloppy in his mind.

It didn't take more than a day for him to be called back. After telling the receptionist the reason for his visit he was handed a badge and directed to the third floor. His entire system cringed at the realisation as to where he had landed.

Dolores Umbridge's office.

There were a lot of people in the world that Severus Snape hated, James Potter, Sirius Black, Wormtail, Bellatrix Lestrange and most of the other Death Eaters for that matter, Voldemort... but Dolores Umbridge took the cake. Severus had never been the one to run and hide behind women's skirts, but he would be thankful if he could hide behind McGonagall right now. She was the only one he knew who could handle Umbridge. How she did it Severus didn't know and it had bothered him in the past as he was supposed to be the master at such things, it bothered him even now. What did that woman want? Woman wasn't even the proper word for her, though to call her a dragon would be an insult to the creatures and darn him if he would be able to keep his temper in front of her.

With dread he stepped out of the squeaking elevator and moved through the hallway halting in front of a door decorated with a hideous blue kitty platter and a pink sign spelling "Dolores Umbridge, head of department". Urgh, no wonder magical animal rights had gone to the dumps faster than you could spell potion in the past or future, depending on how you chose to look at it.

Hesitating he knocked on the door.

"Enter."

Severus could feel a shiver go down his spine and his entire body stiffen as he tried to hold down his breakfast. The high-pitched sugary sweet voice got right to him.

A witch passing by looked at him sympathetically. "Think of your favourite book, it helps you to survive," she whispered.

Thanks, like I need any warning. Not at all wanting to Severus opened the door and was met by the pink wall colour, all the plates with the multicoloured kittens and the monster herself sitting in the middle of it all.

She was supposed to be a good deal younger than when Severus had seen her last, but he couldn't detect any difference. She was still just as appalling and fake. The black bow smacked on her mouse brown curls looked like a big fat fly that had been dead for at least a month, and her face huge and toad-like as the rest of her body. It could be possible that she was a little slimmer than in the future, though only a little.

Umbridge looked at him surprised. "Mr. Snape?" she asked doubtfully.

Severus nodded.

She furrowed her brows. "Severus Snape?" she asked again sounding rather annoyed.

Again he had to nod his mouth closed in grim disgust.

"Not Severus Snape junior?"

"My father's name is Tobias," he snapped. "I am the creator of the potion."

"Grandparents?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "I do not know any of them and no Ms. Umbridge I don't know any uncles or aunts either."

"Surely you can't be the creator. I had our most brilliant potions master look at it and he said it was a work of a genius," Umbridge stated firmly.

"I will take that as a gracious compliment," Severus answered right back. "You can ask me any questions about the potion and I assure you that I will be able to answer."

"Believe me I will," Dolores smiled sweetly. "In fact I had planned for it. We don't want thieves to get the glory for other people's work. I'm sure you will be proud to know that only in a couple of hours your formula had gone through quite a few pairs of hands. There is an old potions master who insisted on meeting you, I chose him because he is the best and would be able to see right through it should this turn out to be a trick." She set her ugly fat head askew and her eyes caught the light reflecting it dangerously. "I do so hate liars."

Severus barely managed to hold back his shudder and utter a cold, "fine."

"Very well, allow me to introduce you," Umbridge got up and walked to another door probably leading to a meeting room. "My Lord, if you would please come in," she said in a cheery tone and stepped back.

An older gentleman walked through the door. He was of fine old blood Severus could clearly see, wearing very fine formal robes though kept them simple and elegant, like he didn't need to show off, which he didn't as they were undeniably very expensive. His snow white hair was bound back and his black eyes looked sharp, intelligent and dangerous, his long lean frame was poised straight and with great dignity. His thin, knuckled and wrinkled hand held a black cane. He regarded the room suspiciously seeming like a man it would be unwise to cross and whose will was impossible to bend.

"May I introduce the Lord of Prince Manor, Augustus Prince."

Severus' heart left out a beat as his eyebrows flew up while staring at the man flabbergasted. Had he heard right? Lord of Prince Manor? Prince?

"Close your mouth boy," Augustus scolded, "and to stare is rude."

At once Severus did as he was told, although didn't stop looking, just narrowed his eyes making a menacing glare out of it.

"So, where is this mysterious inventor," Augustus looked at everything else in the room other than Severus.

Dolores didn't say anything other than that dreadful 'hem, hem' noise gesturing to Severus. Clearly meaning for him to make aware of himself or make a fool of himself no doubt.

"I'm here Sir," he tried to say as calmly as possible his insides in tumult. This had to be... he had never seen this man in his previous life, the Lord of Prince Manor, the last Prince left. Severus hadn't even known his first name before now, perhaps it had been mentioned in a fleeting conversation but forgotten. This right in front of him had to be his mother's father... his grandfather.

"Hm," Augustus regarded him disapprovingly. "Snape, the name sounds familiar. Is your father in the potions business by chance?"

"No, my father is a muggle," Severus stated flatly.

"Your mother then?"

"No," he looked coldly at Augustus. "She was a housewife."

"Was?"

"She died last September."

"Must have been young then, always a shame," Augustus walked up to Severus and looked him directly in the eyes. "So you young man are telling me, you invented this piece of wonder?"

"Yes Sir," Severus answered.

Their eyes were looked, black against black neither of them giving in.

"And you are how old?"

"Sixteen, Sir."

Briefly Severus wondered how this man had died. It had happened when Severus was nineteen and had only recently joined the Death Eaters. He had known his grandfather had died because he had suddenly inherited the entire Prince fortune being the very last heir, and out of nowhere became quite a wealthy man. Augustus seemed strong enough, Severus considered, so he doubted it had been illness.

Augustus narrowed his eyes. "Tell me the way you would tell a first-year student how it works?"

"It poisons the werewolf deteriorating the curse from inside, but not enough to kill the host."

"Why did you choose to add Valmue drops?"

"To ensure the transformation would not be disrupted or altered. It could be fatal for the host."

"How?"

"Their inner organs could suddenly rearrange themselves and kill them, perhaps they would not be able to turn back, probably both."

"Why let it simmer for twenty hours after adding beetle bark?"

It was a trick question, Severus smirked. "It simmers for twenty hours to let the nightshade become compatible with the wolfsbane, the beetle bark is just there to prevent the potion from making the whole work-area stink of rotten doxy eggs," he responded challenging the black eyes before him, which were the trademark of many pureblood wizards, all of whom closely related to the Blacks.

Suddenly their eye contact broke as Augustus turned to Umbridge. "The boy knows his potions, that's for sure," he stated firmly. "If you don't mind, I would like to spend the afternoon with him and come back to you then." He retrieved an old silver pocket watch and opened it to look at the time. "If I came back around four? I believe that's when the ministry closes for costumers and it should give us a couple of hours."

"Of cause my Lord," Umbridge smarmed with a light bow, a wide grin spreading across her toad face. She clearly had ulterior motives.

"Let's go then boy," Augustus strode for the door and simply walked through.

Severus had to sprint to reach the door before it closed and a little more to reach Augustus who was heading for the elevator.

Only when they reached the elevator did Augustus stop. "Did you have lunch," he asked though not looking at Severus.

"No Sir."

"Good."

Severus had expected more, but could clearly see that Augustus Prince was a man of action and very few words. How had he died? Killed by Death Eaters perhaps? Though as he was of old pure blood and judging from his personality... unlikely.

The elevator was packed with people when they stepped inside and Augustus remained quiet as did Severus. He simply followed Augustus without questions and after leaving the ministry soon found himself in an antiquarian looking restaurant just around the corner. The interior was simple and fine, looking expensive.

"Sit down boy," Augustus gestured at a table.

"Thank you, Sir," Severus nodded and moved to the chair opposite of Augustus.

"I like your manners boy," Augustus commented actually giving what seemed like an approving look.

"Thank you, Sir," Severus repeated. "Although I might say it is rather rude of you to call me boy when you are aware of my name," he tried to capture Augustus' eyes to challenge them.

"Don't try my patience," Augustus stated dryly.

Severus simply glared in return. He didn't need to be here after all, only curiosity had demanded him to stay.

"If there is a thing I can't stand it's liars," Augustus warned dangerously. "And something I can stand even less is brilliant potential and talent succumbing to lies." He leaned over. "We both know you did not invent that potion. It would have taken years of research to come by many of the components used, years you did not have."

Severus looked coldly at Augustus trying hard to come up with a plan. "Years no, motives yes," he said simply. "There is a werewolf residing at my school and though he tried to keep his condition secret I found out fairly early. The mere thought of him terrified me, so I did whatever I could to make him safer."

Augustus lifted an eyebrow. "Even went through all the trouble instead of simply killing him?"

"I don't walk around and kill fellow school mates," Severus glared at Augustus.

An approving smile crossed Augustus' face before vanishing again. "I like you boy," he stated.

Severus almost rolled his eyes, but managed to refrain crossing his arms continuing to glare instead.

"Although a way too intelligent for your age," Augustus frowned.

Very perceptive... how had this man died?

"But don't let it make you think you have nothing to learn."

Severus regarded him puzzled.

"Am I right to assume you are at Hogwarts?" Augustus asked.

"Of course," Severus nodded.

"Which house?"

"Slytherin."

Augustus smirked. "Thought so," he nodded. "I was as well. I can usually recognise a Slytherin when I see one." Then he cleared his throat to return to more serious topics. "You probably have your head full of an idea of glory now? Slytherin is after all the house of overachievers. It's a house of ambition, and that is often what rules the minds of the young, ambition for glory," he regarded Severus sternly.

What on earth was he talking about?

"Glory you think you can get easily by joining a no good Lord," Augustus continued. "This isn't the first time someone had promised power and glory to his followers."

He was speaking of Voldemort... Severus' respect for the man rose quite a bit, even though he was partly responsible for letting his mother down or maybe not. Severus had to admit he didn't know the story. He shook his head. "I can assure you I have no interest in joining the Dark Lord."

Augustus seemed unconvinced though. "I know you're meant for greatness no matter what. However you're just the type to become a follower and I hate seeing talent go to waste," he continued his lecture. "I have seen other Dark Lords in my time and none of them turned out to be worth anything."

Now Severus remembered... killed by Death Eaters when he refused to join. Severus had to have respect for a man who had openly defied them probably knowing full well it would mean the end.

"Thank you Sir, but you really don't have to worry," Severus answered. "I had a rather harsh lesson already. It ensured I would never join the ranks of the Dark Lord, I'd rather die." And that was meant most literately on Severus' part.

Augustus smirked ironically. "So young, so inexperienced..." he sighed deeply, "although I do believe you had your fair share of experience. It is evident in the way you talk and behave Mr. Snape." His eyes gleamed with intrigue. "And I must admit I'm curious about what could possibly go on inside that head of yours. Tell me more about this potion, when did you first thought of developing it? It was indeed very clever of you to try and prevent the transformation of the mind rather than body. I did some research and found that everyone who even attempted to find a cure went straight for a full one focusing on the body immediately."

"I know," Severus smirked, "and that is dim-witted. You need to take it in stages, that much is obvious."

"Indeed," Augustus nodded. "So do tell of how you thought of this approach."

"Well Sir," Severus was considering his words carefully. "I suppose it helps that the werewolf isn't a friend or relative of mine, I'm guessing the ones looking for a cure did so because someone close to them was bitten. I however just wanted to ensure the werewolf wouldn't break loose during full moon and harm someone, having an outsider's perspective towards the issue. Stopping the transformation entirely still seems impossible to me, without killing at least twenty test subjects on the way that is..."


	9. The man in the moon

Severus stood over the cauldron of bubbling green potion, which he had spent the last two weeks brewing. He had insisted on doing it himself to make sure it was done right. Augustus kept circling around him observing the process, sometimes he came across like a hawk hanging over his shoulder and Severus had the impression it was him and not the potion he observed. Especially when they started having heated discussions about the fine art of potion making and they could become really heated at times as they were both passionate about the craft, both very stubborn, and could have very different opinions about it.

Lily had come with Severus a few days ago curious like a cat to meet Augustus.

"Your grandfather?" Lily had looked wide-eyed at him when Severus told her at their spot by the stream. "Sev that's wonderful!"

"Hah," Severus snorted. "He abandoned my mother," he reminded her, "and he has no idea that I'm his grandson."

"You do sound like you respect him though."

"I do," Severus nodded. "He's not one of those weak purebloods you usually see. He is a strong man, but to like and respect are two different things."

"That doesn't make any sense," Lily said annoyed. "What is he like?"

"He doesn't talk much, just a few short sentences at a time," Severus recalled looking distant, "which cover what needs to be said and that's it, not exactly the happy smiling type."

Lily laughed wholeheartedly rolling on her back. "Sounds like somebody I know," she giggled laying in the grass with arms spread.

"Who?" Severus asked interested.

"For such an old and experienced man you sure are dim sometimes," she pointed out. "You Sev, it sounds like you just described yourself."

As much as Severus knew it was meant well he couldn't help by choke. That he should somehow have inherited family traits from a grandfather he had never met before or bothered about just seemed incredible.

When Lily had accompanied Severus to the ministry Augustus had been, to Severus' amusement, taken completely aback by her from his point of view unfounded enthusiasm and curiosity. Fortunately as she was actually a shy person when it came down to it, it wasn't too obvious... at first. It had ended up with Lily being scorned as Augustus had told her to either be quiet or leave, basically to shut up and let the potions brewers talk.

Severus had told her not to worry informing her how Augustus was with people in general and that he himself had been questioned about what he was doing as well. And by the end of day Augustus had actually granted her an approving glance telling her she had a flair for potions she should stick with. Apparently she had been asking the right questions all along and he just didn't like to be interrupted. In any case it had made Lily a lot happier with Augustus and she was genuinely fascinated by the Wolfsbane potion. However she was a popular and busy girl who had friends to tend to, so that was why Severus was alone on the day the potion was finished, three days before the full moon.

Dolores Umbridge wasn't late to bother them. "Are you finished dear," she asked. "You did tell me it would be around now and we have people waiting."

Augustus and Severus exchanged looks communicating pretty well what they were both thinking. "What people," Severus asked for both of them.

"The testers dearest," Umbridge giggled girlishly.

More like the 'guinea pigs' Severus thought not missing that she said it in plural either, probably hoping to kill a couple of werewolves all at once with the potion. He remembered she had asked him very specifically what would happen if the potion did not work and seemed delighted when he had told her that in the worst case they could die. She clearly did not believe in his brewing abilities.

"Would you like to meet them?" she asked. "I'm afraid most of them are unaware of why they are here."

So she had just dragged some werewolves in. Could she do that? Of course she could, Severus should have realised that.

Facing a group of werewolves who were probably going to hate him? Oh joy, angry bloody werewolves, just what he needed to add to his collection of personal nightmares because he did so love them! Severus nodded nonetheless gritting his teeth.

A wide smile spread across Umbridge's toad like face. "This way Mr. Snape," she gestured and biting back his dread he followed her to the elevator, which went down to the basement, and through a cold hallway until he stood in front of a very heavy looking wooden door.

Umbridge opened the door and looked in. "Dearest people," she almost sang in a way too delighted voice. "I would like you the meet the young man who is responsible for you being here and spending the next full moon in the safe facilities of the Ministry dungeons. You all must be relieved for once not being a danger to the world."

Severus stared hatefully at the woman. Chances were that whatever werewolves inside would now be fully enraged and he was still terrified of the damn creatures as it was.

Umbridge turned to him. "I thought it best to test the potion on as many kinds of werewolves as possible, to see if the effect would be different," she smirked. "We don't want to be unfair."

Dread twisting his guts Severus stepped inside and true enough was met with many annoyed and even hateful stares, though some of them seemed actually surprised that he obviously wasn't a Ministry official. They were all kinds of people, a young man, a young woman, elderly people, a single child, but they all had in common this very thin and shabby appearance. Most of them were malnourished, some even unwashed, he himself tensed by the sight of them and straightened up sending a glare right back.

"Severus!" a familiar voice greeted cheerfully.

Urgh, Lupin, of course he would have to be here. "Lupin," Severus grumbled barely nodding at his schoolmate.

"You know him?" a middle-aged black man sitting beside Lupin asked glaring suspiciously at Severus, making him return the favour.

Lupin nodded. "He's a schoolmate and he's the real deal," he answered brightly. "I knew that's what it was about. I knew it!" he grinned in delight and happiness, completely opposite to Severus' rotten mood, which only kept going downwards.

Suddenly the werewolves regarded him a lot more interested, which honestly made Severus feel even worse. His nostrils vibrated as a sneer played on his lips.

"What is it?" a woman in a shabby robe with an ugly flower pattern asked. "Why were we called in?"

Without any consent from Severus Lupin stood up and placed himself by his side. "Well," he smiled, "tell them Severus."

Severus glared at Lupin trying to see if he could kill him with his gaze. Unfortunately it didn't work, not even made him squirm, although the other werewolves seemed slightly concerned for Lupin. He however took it as a funny joke if anything annoying Severus to no end.

"Don't be fooled by his behaviour," Lupin told the room. "He's like this to everyone, wizard and werewolf alike."

_Though mostly to stupid little optimists_ were Severus' exact thoughts. Lupin's statement however did seem to make some of the werewolves relax, if only a little.

"Well spit it out kid," the black man demanded. "Why are we here? I do have better things to do." He crossed his arms. "And being locked up for observation is not something I'd care about much."

Severus cleared his throat sneering right back. "I invented a potion," he spat. "A potion devised to ease your condition."

There were several snorts as multiple heads turned away.

"It is not a cure," Severus went on explaining impatiently. "It allows you to have full control during full moon."

Some people's ears twitched at this, it would be a fairly new concept for them as everyone else had tried an entire cure, without success naturally.

"It's true," Lupin confirmed. "I tried it myself and it really worked," he stated in obvious joy. It looked like he could barely contain himself.

Suddenly Severus had their full attention. He swallowed trying not to shudder seeing the interested light in their amber coloured eyes. Wetting his dry lips he started explaining very snappily and quickly.

"It's called the Wolfsbane potion being based on the wolfsbane plant, which has, as you all probably know, special effect on those with lycanthropy. However if not prepared properly it is quite poisonous to werewolves," Severus took a breath before continuing in the same pace. "Made properly it will weaken the curse leaving the carrier unharmed, perhaps giving the person a little nausea in the morning, and of course render them exhausted from the involuntarily transformation, though not nearly as exhausted as you would have been running around all night, and more importantly will render you less dangerous to yourself and others. To put it shortly, the moon won't make you insane and your minds will be your own."

An astounded silence followed and sheer disbelief and anticipation seemed almost palpable in the room, people looking like they wanted this so much, wanted to believe it, but didn't really dare to.

"You said poisonous," a young woman tugged the little girl with blond hair matching her own behind her back. "Is it safe? Tell me, is it safe for my daughter?" she asked in a desperate voice.

Shocked Severus looked down at the little girl who was looking back at him from behind her mother's skirt. She didn't seem afraid at all, being quite tiny, yet standing there staring at him defiantly with those light blue eyes and a frown on her face. The mother on the other hand looked frightened beyond reason.

Severus blinked taken aback. "The dosage is designated for fully grown people," he stated monotonously not looking away from the girl. "I was not aware that Umbridge would bring in more than one person, furthermore that it would be a grown up volunteer."

"No one of us is," an elderly man sneered. "We never have a say in these things."

"I would have volunteered gladly," Lupin stated. "It really does work."

"I will have to talk to Umbridge," Severus said looking directly at the mother, who was a shabby looking, thin woman with blue eyes exactly like her daughter's. She would have been beautiful if not for her sunken in cheeks and the lines of permanent worry around her eyes, her unkempt hair falling lifeless down her shoulders. Something told Severus that she had been a picture of beauty once, a good while ago, but she was too young to be a mother.

"I'm not prepared to be responsible for any damage done to your daughter," Severus said earnestly trying to reassure her.

You could see the tension, though not all of it, leave the women and her shoulders sinking down. "Thank you," she whispered clearly relieved taking in a deep breath.

When the mother relaxed the girl's hard apprehensive look seemed to leave as well, only to be replaced by sheer intrigue. What the hell was wrong with this girl? Wasn't she afraid of anything? Severus knew he really couldn't look too pleasant standing there in the door, younger Hogwarts students would have whimpered.

"Are you fighting the man in the moon?" she asked as if it was a perfectly normal question. "That's why you're so mean, because you're a warrior too, right? I know warriors have to be mean, they have to be fierce! You can't go soft or your enemies will use your weakness, so I don't mind," she sighed. "Does that mean you can help me to defeat him? He's mean to me and makes my mum cry," she went on explaining in a business like tone.

Merlin... Severus slipped his hand through his hair feeling lost. This girl had no idea, did she? And she was clearly more concerned about her mother than herself. What in Merlin's name was this girl? What was she made of?

Slowly Severus walked forward and sat down on his knees to get to her eyelevel looking her over trying to figure her out as she was confusing the hell out of him. Her big blue eyes met his own staring right back in of deep fascination, something seasoned Death Eaters had been known not to dare to.

"I don't think there's any defeating the man at this point," he breathed. "Even if you take the potion he's going to be mean to you. But this also means we might one day find a way to stop him for good if we are patient, cunning and strong."

The little girl furrowed her brows looking straight into Severus' eyes not breaking contact.

"Just don't give up hope as this opens a whole new world of opportunities, of ways to fight that man," he tried to explain before sighing deeply. "But it will take time, perhaps even lots of time, and I might need your help to fight him, will you help?"

The little girl nodded proudly not at all afraid.

"Then don't give up," he instructed her. "Just be there when I need you, all right?"

The little girl nodded again a light igniting in her eyes and smiled all over her face.

"What's your name?" Severus asked.

"Evelyn."

"I'm Severus."

"Severu... Seve... Se..." she was stumbling over the name.

"You can call me Sev," he allowed her sighing. "No use tripping over words." In his timeline this girl must have somehow died, because he didn't recall any werewolf attending Hogwarts while he was a teacher.

There were lots of ways she could have died really, fright and despair for one, giving in to the wolf the day everything became too much. She could have been killed by someone during transformation, or by Voldemort's werewolves. Fenrir would probably try to include her into his pack as he was probably the one who bit her. Any child who had been attacked by a werewolf and survived went usually on his tabs. Severus hoped he had given her enough reason to go on this time around.

When he stood up he noticed a change in the looks was getting from all the other werewolves, showing newfound warmth and curiosity. Severus himself lacked energy to be intimidated or annoyed by the werewolves at the moment and Lupin looked really ashamed for some reason, blushing red to the tips of his ears. Severus couldn't think of a reason and would have been quite surprised if he had read his thoughts, because Lupin was silently swearing to never ever allow his friends to lay a hand on Severus again.

"You can't!" Severus looked disgusted at Dolores Umbridge. "You can't be serious about forcing her to go through it as well!"

"Oh but I am," Umbridge giggled a smile spreading across her face. "Every specimen of the species must be tested."

"But the potion is meant for fully grown werewolves," Severus spluttered. "Who knows what would happen to her? It might even kill her!"

"Then I suggest you figure out a proper alternative," Umbridge's smile widened.

"I'm afraid I'm with Mr. Snape in this, Dolores," Augustus entered the office. "It's a dosage designed for fully grown people and there is no point in testing it on children."

"I'm afraid you have no authority in the matter, my Lord," Umbridge smirked. "You were only here as a guest to begin with, and I seem to recall you gave up your seat in the Ministry years ago." She held a hand to her mouth uttering a little uh. "I believe that means you don't have any influence."

Augustus gritted his teeth obviously annoyed beyond reason. "Though as I recall you are not a potions master, I am."

"Then I suggest you fix some of the potion to make it safe for her," Umbridge giggled.

Augustus' face turned hard looking like he was ready to break something, mirroring Severus' feelings exactly.

"And if you don't leave right now, I won't allow you to observe the actual testing on the full moon night."

Severus so far had no desire to be here on the full moon at all, hoping to be at the Evans's and far away from the Ministry cellar (really really far), but the image of the little girl and what she would possibly be going through nagged at him relentlessly. So he ended up turning to leave before he did something he would regret later. He honestly wanted to strangle the woman slowly and gleefully watch her stupid face turn purple, and if he was lucky her eyeballs might even pop out to be used in potions later. Demon eyeballs should be interesting to experiment with.

"What are you going to do boy?" Augustus asked following Severus out of the door.

"I don't know yet," Severus frowned. "There is no way I'm going to give her the potion as it is though. We could put some sugar into it rendering it useless, but then she would be caged up as a raging beast in a far too small space and could seriously hurt herself."

"What if we added some thestral hair?"

"Then it should have been added before the nightshade," Severus sighed. "There's no telling how it would react if we put it in now."

"Quite correct."

Severus put his hand against his eyes and frowned thinking intensely. "If we only had some unicorn hair, then she wouldn't be harmed for sure."

Unicorn hair was probably one of the most rare and valuable substances in the world and its magical properties extraordinary. It literately gave ultimate protection ensuring that a drinker of a potion would not be harmed in anyway, sometimes even dissolving the effects of the potion if it was meant to harm. It was like unicorn hair had a mind of its own, which also made it quite unpredictable as the wished effect depended on the situation.

"Are you sure you want to risk that?" Augustus asked.

"I'd rather do that than giving it to her pure or adding sugar," Severus stated firmly. "It might even help her during the transformation," he added sounding hopeful.

"Very well," Augustus nodded. "I have some unicorn hair stacked away, just don't give her any potion before I'm back."

Severus looked stunned at Augustus. "Thank you!" he breathed.

"Don't mention it, that woman is a pestilence and you're quite right, we shouldn't endanger the girl," Augustus shook him off. He retrieved his gleaming silver pocket watch and opened it with a click. "I should be back around 4 pm then you have prepared her potion just in time for dinner," he closed the watch and hurried away.

Severus could not help but be worried when he added the white unicorn hair to a portion of the potion he had put in a smaller cauldron, it bubbled for a while before turning from the familiar green to a purple colour.

Very nervous he handed a goblet with the purple potion to Evelyn, who sipped it and wrinkled her nose in sheer disgust. "It tastes horrible," she complained. "Like old socks!"

"Sweety, drink up," her mother whose name was Andrea hushed her nervously.

Evelyn looked questioning to Severus who nodded, with new determination she swallowed it all disgust clearly showing in her face.

"I'm afraid you will have to drink it again tomorrow and the day after tomorrow," Severus informed her before the relief on her face became too dominant.

"What?" her expression fell. "Eww..."

"Evelyn!" Andrea scolded. "Show some respect for Severus, he's doing his best to help us."

"Sorry," Evelyn muttered. "Don't be mad please, I really want to help fighting that man in the moon," she stated proudly, "even if I have to drink a whole cauldron of that sock potion!"

"Very brave indeed," Severus smirked amused.

At midday before full moon Severus walked into the ministry with Lily beside him. She had sensed his discomfort and offered herself for support insisting on going with him. She really could read him like and open book at times, astounding Severus to no end. Together they went to the room with the cauldron and administered the last dosage to the werewolves, plus he gave Evelyn her potion personally. Lily seemed shocked when she saw Evelyn, looking flabbergasted at her for a moment.

"How old are you?" she asked the little girl.

"Six and a half," Evelyn stated proudly holding six fingers plus a bowed one up to demonstrate how much it was.

The colour retreated somewhat on Lily's cheeks. "Then you are a big girl indeed," she stated forcing a smile on her lips.

"Guys, you really don't have to be here."

"Moony, we swore never to let you spend another full moon alone."

"I know Prongs, and I'm grateful but..."

Both Lily and Severus stiffened at the familiar voices from the hallway. They exchanged looks. What would happen now? Of course Severus had told Lily that Lupin was there as he made a point of telling her everything, though she probably hadn't thought of that when insisting on coming with him to the Ministry. And none of them had counted on seeing all the Marauders here.

"No, but Moony, a promise is a promise," Black's voice insisted.

"You can't even help me as you used to," Lupin's voice argued. "And we know it's going to be fine. I tried it before remember? I'm just going to be under observation this time, that's all."

"Then there is no harm in us being there," Potter stated firmly.

The four boys stepped into the room. Lupin was scanning it with his eyes, probably looking for Severus, his mouth falling open when he discovered Lily just beside him.

"What is it?" Potter asked noticing his discomfort and followed his eyes. "Evans!" he exclaimed, his hand flew up to his hair immediately, ruffling it to make it look more unruly than a moment before. "What are you doing here?"

"Evans?" Black also looked at her now. It was amusing how none of them had discovered Severus standing right beside her, the muggle clothes he wore must be throwing them off.

"I... I..." Lily looked a bit flustered. "I'm here with Sev!" She moved closer to him and quickly grabbed his hand.

Surprised the other three Marauders looked at Severus seeming absolutely shocked and gobsmacked.

"Snape!" Potter exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

He had to think quickly having little desire to reveal himself as the potion's creator, and he had to make Lupin understand that it was what he wanted.

"I'm here to see Evelyn," Severus shoot a pleading look to Andrea who nodded in understanding, though looking puzzled and apprehensive at the newly arrived.

"Who?" Black asked suspiciously.

A little hand reached for Severus' that wasn't holding Lily's and clutched it tight. "Sev is helping me fighting the man in the moon," Evelyn said defiantly staring the boys down.

Black, Potter and Wormtail stared at the girl like she was something out of another world, some kind of weird alien, and she was very bravely returning the favour with a hard look in her eyes, ready to fight, seemingly not aware that they were quite big boys and she was a little girl. She looked like she was ready to bite them if she had to.

"The man in the moon," she repeated slowly as if talking to idiots. "He comes down and hurts me when the round portal is open," she proceeded explaining in the same tone. "And Sev helps me fight him, because he is a warrior! Like the knights!"

The Marauders looked bewildered at each other opening and closing their mouths seemingly lost for words. Except for Lupin who looked down at the floor a deep blush spreading on his face.

"Remus..." Lily hesitated but let go of Severus and moved towards him slowly. "Are you okay?"

Lupin's blush grew even deeper.

"I know why you are here," she tucked a strand of her hair behind the ear.

"I'm... I'm sorry," Lupin's head seemed to have turned completely red now.

"It's fine," Lily breathed. "It's no more your fault than it's Evelyn's. She's such a sweet girl."

It just made Lupin turn away in shame.

"Did Snivellus tell you?" Potter looked hard at him over Lily's shoulder.

"Oh do try and have a heart," Lily's cheeks grew red. "He's here for Evelyn not to torment any of you. We didn't even realise you would be here, is that so hard to understand? And no Potter! He didn't tell me, I figured out by myself, I'm not stupid you know!"

Lupin twitched.

"Who is she?" Potter's eyes travelled back to Evelyn who still stared at them sourly clutching Severus' hand.

"That's none of your business, Potter," Severus sneered. Evelyn nodded, the movement of her head almost made her stumble before her eyes returned to the Marauders, her mouth pouting.

Potter quieted looking both defeated and very confused, so did Wormtail and Black.

When the night-time drew closer Severus walked with Evelyn, Andrea and Lily further down the halls of Ministry, deep downwards. All the werewolves, a bunch of bulky looking security guards and two Aurors were with them. Umbridge had taken all precautions. They walked into what could be for all intent and purpose called a dungeon. Even Evelyn, the girl not afraid of anything in the world, seemed a little distraught walking between Severus and her mother holding both their hands while assessing the cold, stony hallway.

They reached what looked like holding cells, big wooden doors were on each side of the hallway seeming to continue endlessly, with only a small barred window in each, allowing someone to peer in. Behind those you could see nothing but a very small room with a cot. Each werewolf was assigned a holding cell and given only a blanket being told they could undress inside and give the guard their clothing once they were done.

It was pitiful. Downgrading and pitiful. Severus could only admire Evelyn's bravery when she let go of him and Andrea to walk into the cell with her head raised.

"Tonight the portal is open, we are fighting the man in the moon!" she stated without wavering.

"We are," Severus nodded.

"And you will help me, right?" she asked. "Because you can actually see him," she looked down disappointed. "I can't yet."

"Absolutely," Severus assured her. "You and I, we are fighting that mean man together."

She nodded in a way that reminded him of a warrior facing battle, and not even caring that he was watching she pulled her blouse over her head. Slightly embarrassed Severus looked away, turning his head back again when he was sure she had wrapped herself in the blanket.

"And his generals," she suddenly said, "like the goblin king. I got one of the princes last week!" she told Severus proudly. "Cut his head right off!"

"Er," Severus stared wide-eyed at her.

"That's impressive," Lily answered for him. "Was he big?"

"Not really," Evelyn shook her head, "only the seize of a mountain. He was the youngest one, there are twelve of them. Mum," she looked at her mother. "Don't be scared, I can handle it, I handled that goblin prince last week, remember? I'm ready for the man, he won't hurt me."

Andrea swallowed. "I know sweetheart," she told her. "You are so strong, and I'm so proud of you, I love you sweetheart!"

She was just about to reach for her daughter, but was pushed away by one of the security guards slamming the heavy door in her face as well. The Aurors began casting all sorts of security wards around the place. And you could hear Evelyn grumble annoyed on the other side.

Andrea looked down biting her lip. "Sorry..." she muttered, "she gets carried away sometimes."

"Don't apologise!" Lily stated at once. "There is really nothing to apologise for!"

Andrea smiled vaguely shaking her head defeated. "You know sometimes I wonder... does she really believe in any of that, or is she just making it up to make _me_ feel better?"

Severus had nothing to contribute to that, so he just peered through the small window in the door. Lily took his hand and held it tightly, while he kept eye contact with the little girl on the other side. She sat down in a corner looking straight ahead defiantly, like a tiny warrior awaiting battle.

The Marauders stood by another door down the hall talking to their friend. There were no other cells with visitors, only the security and the Aurors. And then they just waited, for quite a long time as a matter of fact, only the Marauders' distant chattering cutting through the air, which was a relief. Severus did not think he would be able to handle total silence.

There was no warning when the transformation began, suddenly little Evelyn fell forward on the floor cushioning the impact with her hands. Severus watched horrified clutching Lily's hand tighter. The little girl stretched unnaturally, her body violently transforming and sandy coloured fur spreading across it. Her mouth stretched into a snout snarling and growling while her eyes watered in pain.

Lily burrowed her head in Severus' shoulder unable to watch any more. Severus however tried to keep contact with Evelyn's eyes, which remained blue.

Her hands transformed into paws before she finally collapsed looking completely like a small wolf, a pup to be precise.

Severus held his breath. "Evelyn," he called out to the wolf panting on the floor. "Evelyn can you hear me?"

The wolf raised its head and looked up at him with intelligent blue eyes. She barked looking quite confused and grumbled a little.

"You are a wolf now," Severus told her softly, though his voice sounded hoarse as it often did. "Just for tonight, but you know how it is with animals, they can't speak with us. You will have to nod or shake your head, do you understand me?"

The wolf looked thoughtful at him, then nodded its head.

Severus sighed in relief. "It worked," he breathed. "She's all right."

A tear escaped Andrea's eye. "Thank Merlin," she whispered leaning her head on the bars. "Thank you so much, Severus!"

"Don't thank me yet," Severus muttered darkly. "Wait until the night is over."

But his words were lost on Andrea, who pressed her face against the bars. "It's alright sweety! See, I told you it would be alright, mummy won't let any harm come to you, ever! I love you Eve!"

Other sounds reached his ears this very moment, snarls, grumblings, making Severus tense up immediately. He was surrounded by transformed werewolves! His eyes widened and he felt cold sweat emerging on his forehead.

Why werewolves? How exactly had he gotten himself into this situation, one of the few he couldn't handle, again? It was the only thing able to frighten him into stupor, he could face the Dark Lord, scared and unable to speak his name, but he would stand his ground, lie and fight when needed. Severus could fend off Dementors and dragons honestly didn't scare him, Death Eaters equally so, if anything the average Death Eater amused Severus, but this? Why this?

Severus could feel his heart banging loudly and the blood rushing in his ears, building up the tension within him. Lily, who had not let go of his hand, looked up at his face when a snarl reached them again, making Severus flinch on sheer reflex. For a moment Lily considered the white hand holding hers, then let go of it leaving Severus feeling extra vulnerable just a second, before stepping closer and embracing him. If he wasn't so tense already he would have tensed even more, but she kept on holding him loosely in her arms. He sighed shaking his head feeling some of it dissipate, but only some. There probably was nothing for it.

It looked magical, almost beautiful, when Evelyn transformed back and stood up straight with a tired smile on her lips, her blond hair fell down her shoulders now beyond poor.

"We tricked him!" she beamed. "That's what the potion does, turns me into a wolf and scares the man away, right?"

Severus blushed a bit ashamed by her misconception, not really knowing how to explain this to her, fortunately he didn't have to as Andrea answered for him.

"That's right sweety," Andrea smiled with tears in her eyes. "We tricked him, fooled and tricked him, he is so scared now!"

Severus could tell something inside of him felt wrong. He knew that Andrea was just trying to protect her daughter, obviously loving her beyond reason. But what would be the consequences when Evelyn found out the truth? She was very smart and would probably figure out sooner or later. He looked between Evelyn and Andrea totally lost for words sensing a tragedy looming ahead.

Andrea looked pleadingly at him. "Please!" she begged. "Let her have a little childhood."

Severus nodded solemnly unable to smile feeling incredibly sad right now. Evelyn looked puzzled for a while, but then seemed to accept what she had been told and nodded swaying on her feet clearly exhausted.

Only now did Severus realise how ill she looked, extremely pale with her hair stringy and flat against her face. She had deep shadows under her shining blue eyes, though she looked absolutely happy.

When the guards finally opened the heavy wooden door Andrea rushed in to have Evelyn collapse into her arms. Down the hallway Severus spotted the Marauders helping Lupin out, he was barely able to walk. Other werewolves were almost crawling out of their cells little by little after having dressed, yet all of them seemed to be on the brim of tears in happiness.

"Thank you!" the elderly man beamed grabbing his hand, and they all started crowding him to give their thanks.

Severus did not know how to deal with all this gratitude, he was exhausted from staying up all night and watching Evelyn in worry, plus being scared of all of the transformed werewolves nearby. He didn't really want it either, he had lied after all and the potion wasn't his invention. Though as far the world was concerned it was as there was no other place it could have come from. Only two people knew of its true origin, him and Lily, and as she thought it okay because it helped so many people.

Umbridge seemed very disappointed that everyone was well, she really had hoped something would go wrong. Augustus met up with Severus at her office to ask after how it went, while all the werewolves stayed to write a report on their experience.

"Well, I suppose this is goodbye?" Augustus asked Severus.

"It would seem so," Severus nodded suppressing a yawn.

"Unless..." Augustus let the word linger in the air. "Would you be interested in becoming an apprentice under me when you have finished school? I could turn you into a real potions master."

Severus smirked shaking his head. "That's very kind, Sir, but I must decline."

"You have two years to think about it," Augustus pointed out. "Please do that. I will even go so far as to say you can take your time."

"I will think about it," Severus said. "But don't count on me."

"I so do hate seeing talent being wasted," Augustus shook his head. "These last couple of days were the most pleasant I had in years."

Severus raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"The last person I met who could debate continuously with me about potions is one Horace Slughorn and he backs away too quickly. It's not interesting!" Augustus complained. "We learn only when our methods are questioned and discussed."

"If that is so..." why did you turn away from my mother? But he kept the question to himself and shook his head. "Never mind."

Augustus looked puzzled for a moment but let it be. "Quite my boy, there seems to be a redhead wanting to take you home to bed where I can see you do belong."

Severus turned around to see a clearly tired Lily yawning, her normally pretty hair a bit messy. He nodded in thanks and walked towards her, though not before a little blond stopped him.

"I'm sorry," Andrea apologised trying to hold her daughter back. "But she refuses to sleep before she has talked to you." She looked worried down at her daughter. "And she really needs sleep, so if you please..."

Severus nodded unable to be mad at her and sat down on his knees to get to her eyelevel. "You're okay little one?" he asked.

Evelyn nodded. "I'm not little, I'm big! I'm six and a half!" she stated proudly.

Severus smiled amused. "And that's old indeed," he smirked. "Though you absolutely don't have to be big to fight, looks can be deceptive, you know."

"No, they are not!" Evelyn shook her head and then whispered, "I know you're from another time."

Severus stared wide-eyed at her. "What do you mean?" he asked at once.

"You look young but you talk and act like old people always do," she said. "Did you know Merlin?"

"Er... Not exactly."

"Hm," Evelyn looked thoughtful. "But you are here to fight the evil man, right?"

"I guess," Severus hesitated.

"I can fight too," she insisted. "Can I fight with you?"

"Er... well... yes, sure," Severus promised, "and all the others will help as well, like your mother."

"But they don't know how to fight," Evelyn pointed out.

"Yet it's still worth remembering that they are there, and so am I," Severus told her. "In a war like this, where we all have a common enemy, to stand together is very important, more important than anything. Remember that, okay?"

Without warning the little girl wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him, then let go and returned to her mother, who picked her up to hold her tightly. Patting her on the back while whispering soft motherly words she walked to the fireplace.

"Did you ever fight a dragon?" Evelyn just managed to ask loudly across the room when Andrea stepped into the green flames, but there was no way of answering before they vanished, so Severus just stared after them.

"Well?" Lily interrupted.

Severus looked at her puzzled. "Well what?"

"Did you ever fight a dragon?"

"No," he said at once taken somewhat aback. "Why would I ever need to fight a dragon?"

"I don't know," Lily shrugged. "Would have been a good story to tell though, but you must have something..."

Severus shook his head. "I did single-handedly fought off around forty Dementors protecting a student who was out of bed, without making anyone even notice, is that good enough?"

"You really did that?" Lily asked a little wide-eyed.

"Yes, can we please just go home now?" he asked feeling uncomfortable.

"Of course," Lily yawned and grabbed Severus' arm dragging him in the direction of the fireplaces, to have them enter the familiar living room of the Evans's moments later.

Left in the Atrium were four boys, three of them had been following Severus very closely not wanting to leave before him, trying to get some clues to this extraordinarily odd puzzle.

"This is the weirdest thing I've seen in all of my life," James Potter stated perplexed.

"I'm with you mate, and it's not like we are unused to the extraordinary," Sirius' grey eyes were fixed on the fireplace, which the couple disappeared through. "Why would he ever fight a dragon? He's not nearly cool enough to do anything like that!"

"You think all those potions finally melted his brain?" James asked his friends. "Or he fell into a reversal potion or something?"

"Maybe if you haven't been so busy hating him you would have realised that there are more sides to people?" Remus was supposed to scold them, but was so tired that a yawn spoiled it.

"Yeah, maybe," James admitted doubtfully. "And why did he leave with Evans?"

"You know they are old childhood friends. They probably live pretty close to each other," Remus groaned annoyed. "Can't you just let it be?"

"It's so odd," Sirius mussed. "Dunno why, but I always thought him to be of old blood, I could have never believed he would wear muggle clothes."

"I could have never believed he would care for children enough to let them hug him!" James answered. "This is going to be such a bother, how can I possibly put explosives in his pumpkin juice now? I don't how, but he planned this for sure."

Remus felt his head grow heavy from exhaustion and almost fell over.

"Wowwowwow, easy mate!" James just managed to catch him before he fell down on the floor. "Let's get you home and into bed."

Sirius nodded and put one of Remus' arms over his shoulder while James took the other. Peter walked closely behind them when they entered the fireplace to floo home to James.


	10. Brush with fire

Severus spent the next day sleeping, having only very few nightmares, and he would have been content with spending the rest of the vacation just relaxing, but already figured it wouldn't be that easy. Knowing Umbridge she wasn't done with him yet and would try to turn the potion into means against werewolves somehow instead of helping them. Neither could he believe Augustus would leave him alone. He seemed like a man ready to pursue his interests and had been intrigued by him, so Severus wouldn't be surprised to be nagged by the offer of apprenticeship for at least another six years. And of all stupid things Lupin would come over on Lily's invitation soon. The reasoning was clear, Lily wanted to talk to him about his condition. Apparently Lupin had been surprised she had figured it out on her own, but honestly what had he expected? She was Lily, both smart and perceptive! Though it wasn't evident right now, while they sat playing a game of wizarding chess, she had played herself into a hole a long time ago and Severus knew it would be three moves at most before check mate, although he couldn't bring himself to point it out.

On the brighter side, they were finally and completely at ease, no longer treading around each other like the two cats, expecting Merlin knows what and constantly guarded. Thankfully that was over and replaced by relaxed company, the kind Severus had been longing for the most, even without knowing it.

"Knight to B-four," Lily demanded of her pieces.

Severus lifted an eyebrow. "You're sure that's a good idea?" he asked. "Pretty unconventional."

Lily shrugged. "I guess we'll see where it leads."

"Right," Severus complied in an almost lazy tone. "Tower to D-four."

"Oh no," Lily's face fell, "I didn't see that coming!" She looked honestly surprised. "Hm," she looked thoughtfully at the board.

"You didn't honestly think I would fall into that trap and let you take my queen did you?" Severus asked. "That's rule number one with chess, you need to think at least three steps ahead."

"Not all of us have super brains," Lily retorted with a crease on her forehead indicating she was deep into thinking process. "Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you had been a strategist and freelance advisor for the Minister of Magic or something completely nuts like that."

"Not exactly," Severus responded honestly.

"Well, what did you do?" she asked. "You seemed to have made it pretty good for yourself."

"I was a teacher," Severus shrugged.

"Really?" Lily stared at him. "You, a teacher? Not to be rude, but I would have never guessed that."

"I didn't have much of a choice to be honest. I was a well known Death Eater after the war and only Dumbledore was foolish enough to give me a job," Severus sighed. "I guess I hoped something would turn up eventually, but it never happened, so I stayed where I was."

"Let me guess, Defence Against the Dark Arts?"

Severus shook his head. "No. Well, one single year, but for the most part no."

"Oh, that's too bad," she commented. "Then it must have been Potions."

"You know me to well," he smiled.

"Were you good?" she asked. "Potions with you must have been pretty exciting."

"Er..." Severus looked unsure. "I don't think so, if you ask most of the students." He rolled his eyes. "The brats would never listen to a word I said."

"And it never occurred to you that it was just because you didn't have any patience with them?" Lily asked a little bemused. "As I said, we can't all have super brains like you, Sev."

"No, but it should have been easy enough to follow the recipe on the board," Severus grumbled annoyed. "I always made sure to explain the ingredients before they got to use them, and I wrote the most correct formula possible, my own formula, on the board! The easy ones, you know, and it was perfectly allowed to copy them down for later use. If you followed it exactly the potion should be at least decent, and if you listened to what I said it should be quite good."

Lily covered her mouth trying to keep back a chuckle.

"Lily," Severus sighed. "If you have something to say, say it."

"Okay, I don't think you're teacher material."

"And you are absolutely right," Severus rolled his eyes.

Amused Lily shook her head. "You didn't start a Snapeclub à la Slugclub did you?"

"No!" he exclaimed horrified, "like I didn't have had enough of the dunderheads in classes alone!"

Lily laughed again. "I'm... I'm sorry," she tried in vain to suppress it. "I just don't know what to say."

"I hope you never have to teach again, Sev?" he offered.

"For whatever children you taught I hope so," Lily agreed. "Merlin, I could well imagine you being half the students' boggart."

"Argh, Lily," Sev groaned. "Please."

"Oh my God!" she burst out pointing at him. "You were!"

"Haha," he sneered sarcastically. "Are you going to make a move?"

"Fine, knight to D-eight," she shook her head.

"Pawn to E-six, checkmate."

Lily quieted stunned into silence and lowered her head to look at the board from any possible angle to make sure he wasn't kidding. "As I said, super brain," she mumbled.

"I told you the trick is to think ahead instead of here and now," he told her clearing the board. "And you're thinking a way too hard. Take the entire board in and look at it from an outsider's perspective and don't go into detail too much, just observe the entire picture."

"Merlin, do you know how weird it is hearing you talk like that?" Lily commented.

"Why?"

"You never used to have such self-control, or any kind of control for that matter," she looked at him seriously. "If anything, you used to be the short tempered one thinking to hard over small issues. Merlin, how did you learn this... self-discipline?"

"Well, being a spy against the Dark Lord sort of forces you," he told her. "I simply had to learn how to control my mind and think in strategy and tactics. Most importantly, learn not to let my emotions rule me when it mattered."

"Oh, I see," Lily nodded. "That's why you..." she trailed off.

"Lily, I can't pretend to be something that I'm not, I'm tired of it," Severus sighed.

"I don't want you to pretend to be someone else," Lily shook her head. "This is pretty exciting actually, it's like I'm figuring out something new every day!"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Please keep your findings to yourself then."

"Promise," she smiled. "Rematch!" she exclaimed starting to set the pieces up again. "I'll beat you before this vacation is over!"

Well, it didn't happen that day, neither the next one, Severus tried to instruct her to see a larger perspective and stop thinking too much, but it only led to the conclusion that she would be a lousy occlumence. Too headstrong and rushing into an attack instead of building up a surprise attack as any proper strategist would have done. Hiding was definitely not her style, Severus even got to wonder whether she had always had this little patience. If you took Lily's word for it, it was him who used to have none and to a certain degree still had none, only learning control in specific situations, like in a game of chess. She would rather fill her head with thoughts than empty it in order to observe and make a strategy. All in all she was lousy at it and would probably never become a good strategist neither a good occlumence, it was a bit disturbing how much he started to recognise her son in her, despite his conviction he hadn't known nor liked the boy at all.

Only a few days after that Severus was sitting outside enjoying the weather leaning against a tree, while reading a book. The dreaded Lupin came strolling up the walkway, looking far too cheerful for his tastes. When he noticed Severus Lupin lit up an extra degree and smiled brightly. "Hey, Severus!" he greeted happily.

Severus didn't answer simply ignoring him, while reading his book.

"Always the talkative one, aren't you?" Lupin asked. "Well, this might cheer you up. Dumbledore found out about the Wolfsbane potion only moments after the testing was done and he had already asked Slughorn to make it for the next two years I'm at Hogwarts, so you won't have to."

"Fantastic," Severus answered automatically in an annoyed tone not even looking up from his book.

"You're never going to be happy around me, are you?"

"No."

Amused Lupin shook his head. "Where's Lily?"

"Out swimming, she should be back in half an hour or so," Severus informed him shortly.

Lupin lifted an eyebrow. "And you're still here, don't you live close?"

Severus really didn't want to answer that one, so he didn't, and he still didn't as much as look at Lupin.

"Oh well," Lupin shrugged and walked into the garden, where he sat down right in front of Severus.

For several moments nothing happened, Severus really tried to ignore him, but with him sitting there right in his personal space a stupid grin plastered all over his face, it was impossible. The tension inside grew until he slammed his book shut and glared sourly at Lupin. "_What?_"

"Well," Lupin shrugged in a very relaxed manner. "Lily isn't here, but you are, so what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, go away perhaps?" Severus suggested hopefully.

And of all things Lupin laughed at him roaring in amusement and leaned back on his elbows to rest. "Now, that would be slightly unproductive as I came to see Lily and you said she would be back in half an hour."

Annoyed Severus rolled his eyes and reopened his book in demonstration of not wanting to talk... at all!

For a little while it actually seemed possible to ignore the werewolf and Severus almost relaxed in this situation, but then of course Lupin just had to open that big mouth of his.

"You really are an alright bloke," the voice Severus tried to ignore informed him. "I mean sure, you could be nicer, but you're alright and what you did... that was really amazing! All of it!"

_Just keep on ignoring him and he might shut up, he might even go away._

"Evelyn just wouldn't shut up about you when you were in the room," Lupin chuckled. "She genuinely thought you were some kind of warrior from ancient times. She was really taken with you."

Severus almost choked, _what the..?_

"No, really!" Lupin seemed to have caught Severus' reaction. "I think she found herself a hero."

Severus cringed inside. Silly little child, she would no doubt learn better in time.

"You know, I sort of envy her. It would have been nice to convince myself there was a strong warrior looking out for me when I was a child," he sighed. "It was not always easy when mum and dad didn't even know what to say or do and were clearly scared. You just had nowhere else to go... that girl is very perceptive for her age."

This person, Remus Lupin, annoyed Severus so much! Most people did, but none had been as thoroughly persistent as Lupin. _Take a hint Lupin, go away! _

Severus just glared at him. "What exactly do you want, Lupin? I take it you're smart enough to realise that we are never going to be friends."

"Yeah, the thought had crossed my mind," Lupin shrugged. "But I just wanted you to know that you can count on me should an occasion arise, and I have hoped we could at least be comrades."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Severus was genuinely confused.

"Well, I know you broke up with your own house and that probably leaves you with no friends but Lily, and that seems a little unfair and..." Lupin sighed. "You told me we are at war and need each other, remember? I just thought we might as well make a statement now that we are on the same side and can actually work together."

How came this man only ever had good points? It really annoyed Severus. "Fine, comrades," he allowed and raised his book to demonstrate the conversation to be over.

Lupin lifted an eyebrow looking thoughtful at Severus, before sighing and shaking his head giving up. "You sure send James and Sirius on a roller-coaster ride, I mean confused is a poor way to describe the state they were in."

"Please tell me their heads finally exploded," Severus enquired.

Lupin chuckled. "Something like that I guess. You know, I swear I saw smoke coming out of Padfoot's skull before I left."

"And that is not an everyday occurrence?" Severus asked. "They always seemed a couple of idiotic dimwits to me."

"Don't say that," Lupin shook his head. "You know very well how smart they can be if they want to."

"No," Severus stated. "They're too busy being arrogant smart arses to ever rise above being dimwits."

"Yeah," Lupin nodded thoughtfully. "But then again, you're just a sullen, grumpy bookworm."

Severus stared wide-eyed at him. "You're the one to talk, werewolf_._"

"Vampire."

"Beast."

"Ghoul."

"Remus shut it! We are too old for this!"

"Hah!" Grinning Lupin pointed a finger at him. "You called me Remus!"

Severus felt his stomach sink realising he had been tricked. He had fallen head first into Lupin's well constructed net, not only calling him by first name, but taking about the Marauders, or talking at all for that matter.

"And?" he asked raising his book once more.

"Well, it's a start," Lupin smiled at him sheepishly, making Severus cringe in disgust. He started to silently pray for Lily to arrive soon and take the bloody werewolf of his hands, though it was a bit of a shock to both of them when she did finally arrive.

"SEV!" her voice resonated across the field. "SEV!" she came running in their direction, her hair still wet and her cheeks flushed, breathing heavily.

"Lily, what is it?" Severus leaped up at once.

"Sev, your house!" she exclaimed. "It's on fire!"

The statement had a completely opposite effect on Severus than was probably expected, he simply relaxed and sat back down.

"Aren't you going to do something?" Lupin asked bewildered.

"Sev come on!" Lily demanded with her arms crossed.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Fine," he muttered rising up and actually taking his time to brush himself off, making Lily extra annoyed. When he finally reached her, she grabbed him and forced him to run with her as fast as she could. "Hey Remus, you're early," she managed to greet Lupin.

The three teenagers ran past the houses of the middle-class quarter towards the more poorly looking ones, which stood closer and closer leaving no space for such things like gardens. The few which had them were unkempt and messy, filled with weed and trash, the façades were less and less appealing as well. While everything became more cramped and dirty the few inhabitants looked more and more nasty as well, sending glares at the teenagers, making Lupin a bit wide-eyed taking in the scenery, before looking questioning at Lily, who didn't even notice.

Suddenly Severus' eyes widened and he stopped abruptly. "Lily, return home!" he demanded.

Lily and Lupin also saw what caused Severus' shock, in front of them stood a poor old house with blue flames licking up the building.

"I said return back!" he insisted. "These are magical flames, it wasn't an accident!"

"What? No way!" Lily looked bewildered. "I'll stay here!"

"Listen Lily, someone must be targeting me, it can't be my father, you know he's a muggle," Severus looked her directly in the eyes. "There might be Death Eaters in the neighbourhood!"

"All the more reason for me to stay!"

"What about your family? They would need protection!"

That seemed to halt Lily for a moment, until a new determination entered her eyes. "No!" she stated. "Who'll watch your back?"

"How about me?" Lupin suddenly put in making Lily look at him surprised. "Go back to your family, I swear not to let Severus out of my sight."

"You have no reasons left," Severus pointed out.

"Fine!" Lily spat clearly angry. "But you Severus Snape promise to take care of instead of killing Remus, and you Remus Lupin," she turned to him, "promise to keep him in the ear!"

"Of course," Lupin nodded seriously. Somewhat pacified Lily turned around and ran back. "Well," Lupin looked at the house. "Let's get closer."

"You really are a foolish Gryffindor to the core, aren't you?" Severus asked standing with his arms crossed, not even hinting at taking as much as a step towards it. "You actually want to go into magical flames? Are you insane?"

"But... why did you send Lily away?" Lupin asked wide-eyed.

"Just think Lupin, clearly that house was set on fire with magic on purpose, as no one lives there but me and my father and my father is a muggle, so I must be the target. Lily can't be seen with me," Severus explained, "because they wouldn't hesitate using my friends as hostages, and she's a muggleborn, which is not a good position to begin with."

"But your father might be in there!" Lupin exclaimed.

"I honestly don't care," Severus shrugged.

Lupin stared for several moments in disbelief, then turned around and ran straight into the house.

"NO LUPIN, WAIT!" Severus tried to halt him, before groaning annoyed knowing he would have to go in after him.

Lupin ran directly through the door and almost tripped over the many empty bottles littering the floor taking a moment to look at them in shock before heading on. Severus rushed in after him and immediately noticed the dark shadows looming behind the windows. Death Eaters. Why now? What did they want?

"LUPIN!" Severus yelled standing in the entrance and pulled his shirt over his nose to protect himself from smoke. "LUPIN, WHERE ARE YOU?"

"IN HERE!" Lupin's voice came from the living room. "Your father is in here!"

Oh great, marvellous, absolutely sweet! Severus ran in there to see Lupin struggling with the unconscious Tobias, trying to drag him out.

"We can't get out," Severus informed him making his way towards them sweating from the unnatural heat.

"What? Why?"

"There are Death Eaters outside."

"WHAT?" Lupin stared in shock.

"We will have to simply apparate!"

"But I can't apparate!"

"Lucky for you I can," Severus retorted grabbing Lupin's shoulder firmly. "Hold on, and don't you start hurling on me!"

He apparated all three of them to the only location he could think of, the usual place he had apparated to when in danger from Death Eaters in the past. The trip was more uncomfortable than usual due to the passengers, and when they landed Tobias just crashed to the floor, while Lupin stumbled looking quite pale, Severus being the only one standing upright.

Lupin bent over looking like he could throw up any moment and gasped for air. "Death Eaters?" he asked again.

"Yes, Death Eaters," Severus repeated condescendingly.

"What the hell is going on here?" the barman appeared from the back room. "It's very rude to apparate into someone's private property," Aberforth Dumbledore grumbled.

"I know that!" Severus rolled his eyes annoyed. "I was a bit under pressure."

"What could possibly have happened to excuse this, lad?" Aberforth bristled.

"We were trapped in a burning house with Death Eaters waiting outside, is that good enough?" Severus snapped.

"Bah!" Aberforth commented, but seemed to accept it relaxing somewhat."Who's that?" he pointed at Tobias, who looked pretty damn pathetic to be honest. "I take in a lot of filth here, but even I have standards," Aberforth wrinkled his nose.

Even Lupin, who was usually well mannered at all times, wrinkled his nose in disgust before he could stop it and took a step away. To say that Tobias was filthy would be quite frankly extremely nice, he was beyond disgusting, unshaved, his clothes seemed to not have been changed for month, smelling of dirt, sweat and stale alcohol.

Severus sighed suddenly feeling exhausted. "That would be my father," he muttered.

He got sympathetic looks from both Lupin and Aberforth in return.

"Would you stop that!" he snapped. "And help me figuring out what to do with him."

"What do you mean?" Lupin asked.

"Well, I clearly can't go back to the Evans's and certainly not to my own house. I have planned to hide out in town until term starts, but what the hell would you have me do with him?" he pointed at Tobias disgusted. "Keep him as a pet?"

"Leave him on the streets," Aberforth shrugged. "I know his type, you shouldn't have bothered with him at all."

"You can't mean that!" Lupin gaped at him.

"I think it's a great idea," Severus nodded his consent.

"But... Severus, he is your father!" Lupin exclaimed bewildered.

"So?" Severus was unimpressed. "Look at him! He's at most a pig which somehow got mistaken for an actual baby at birth! And you people honestly wonder why I used to think muggles were scum? When he wakes up, he's going to zoom directly for the nearest bottle and hit everything in his way, so honestly Lupin, why would I care?"

Defeated Lupin averted his eyes and shook his head. "So," he hesitated, "where are we going?"

"Excuse me?" Severus looked at him puzzled.

"I promised Lily to keep an eye on you, and that's what I'm going to do," Lupin stated.

"You can't be serious," Severus growled annoyed. "Go home Lupin and let me be!"

"I'm coming with you!"

"None of you boys are going anywhere!" Aberforth suddenly cut in demanding their attention. "Am I right to assume that you're Hogwarts students?"

They both nodded.

"Then stay right here!" Aberforth ordered. "My brother will have my head if I let you go," grumpily he disappeared behind the bar.

"His brother?" Lupin asked confused.

"Dumbledore," Severus explained impatiently. "Aberforth is Dumbledore's younger brother."

"Really?" Lupins eyebrows flew up.

A big brown owl suddenly came through the window and flew crossed the room to drop a letter into Severus' hand.

"What's that?" Lupin asked curiously.

"What do you think?" Severus snapped. "Use your head for once, will you? I'm a sixteen-year old who just apparated three people across the country during vacation time."

"Oh," realization dawned. "You won't get expelled, will you?" Lupin asked somewhat anxious.

"Unlikely," Severus responded before quickly turning towards Lupin and looking the werewolf right in the eyes. "It was accidental," he stated, "I panicked and apparated all of us in a bout of accidental magic."

"But you..."

"I'm not even supposed to know how to apparate!" Severus hissed. "Much less with passengers, so just stick to it Lupin, that's what happened!

Lupin nodded and swallowed looking a bit anxious.

Finally two elderly men appeared behind the bar demanding the teenagers attention.

"These are yours, right?" Aberforth gestured.

Dumbledore looked at them surprised. "Yes, they are indeed Hogwarts students and quite well known to me as well, Mr. Snape, Mr. Lupin," he greeted making both Severus and Lupin nod politely in return. "What exactly may I ask had happened?"

Severus sent a stern glance at Lupin conveying to let him handle it, before addressing Dumbledore. "Well Sir," he hesitated slipping into a role of an average individual. "There was a fire in my house, Lily and Remus and I approached to investigate it. Lily returned to her family, while Remus and I ran in for my father. Then we were about to leave we noticed a lot masked people surrounding us and I just thought of this place and... well."

Dumbledore nodded thoughtful. "And where's your father?"

Aberforth cleared his throat and elbowed Dumbledore slightly to hint at the figure on the floor.

Dumbledore looked down staring for a moment, before quickly regaining himself. "Aberforth, would you be kind enough to take care of Mr. Snape while I get my students back to Hogwarts?"

"So like you to push the dirty work off on me, isn't it?" Aberforth snorted annoyed.

"If it's not too much trouble," Dumbledore smiled with a twinkle in his eye. "I don't think it would be a good idea to bring him into the school."

"Stop pretending like I have any choice," Aberforth grumbled.

"Would you mind if we borrowed your fireplace?" Dumbledore then asked still twinkling.

"As I said, dear brother," Aberforth returned sarcastically. "Stop pretending like I have a choice!"

"Oh most kind," Dumbledore smiled cheerfully as if not noticing Aberforth's ill behaviour. "You know I must come down for a drink soon, it has been forever since we had a chat."

"Bah!" Aberforth commented. "Off with you!"

Lupin seemed to be extremely fascinated by the two brothers' interaction, making Severus role his eyes before following Dumbledore behind the bar and into a simple yet neat living room with a roaring fire.

Severus was the first to go and elegantly stepped through a weird feeling coming over him when he took in his former office. Then he saw the proud phoenix sitting in his rightful place in the corner, as magnificent as ever, and felt the tension leave his body, because it indicated that it was still Dumbledore's. Severus was about to walk over an pet the bird when Lupin stepped out behind him brushing soot of his clothes, which was quite futile seeing as the ash covering him was not only from the short trip through the Foo, but from the adventure in the burning house. Sighing Severus looked down at his own hands to discover they were equally dirty, and he only needed to take one look at the string of hair in his face to see that it was greasy as hell.

Finally Dumbledore stepped through. "Have a seat," he gestured at the two new chairs in front of the Headmaster's desk, while he himself sat down in the Headmaster's one making Severus smile from the sheer knowledge that he would never ever have to again.

"Lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered the bowl of candy to Lupin.

"Thank you, Sir!" Lupin smiled and took a piece to stuff it in his mouth. That was probably one of the things, which would never change about this man, his sweet tooth.

"No, thank you, Sir," Severus sighed as the bowl came his way. Dumbledore shrugged and put it down, but not before popping one into his own mouth, then folded his hands on the desk.

"Now, Mr. Snape, Mr. Lupin," his twinkling eyes turned more serious. "This seems to be a tight situation. Mr. Snape, those people you saw outside your house, can you describe them?"

"Well, Sir," Severus hesitated able to play the part to perfection if he really wanted. "They were clad all in black and had white masks... skeleton masks I think," he described knowing very well what a Death Eater looked like.

Dumbledore frowned slightly. "Mr. Lupin, what is your side of the story?"

Lupin bit his lip. "Well, it was just like Severus said, there was a magical fire in his house, a blue one, I ran in and Severus followed. He looked very scared, almost on the brim of panic, when he just grabbed me and his father and there was this really uncomfortable feeling... like being pressed through a small tube, before we landed, Sir."

Severus had a hard time restraining himself from sending an annoyed glare Lupin's way. On the brim of panic? Great thinking, Lupin, as if anyone had ever seen him in any such state!

"Did any of those masked men see you?" Dumbledore asked.

"I don't think so, Sir," Lupin shook his head, "although I can't be sure."

"Well," Dumbledore regarded them thoughtfully. "Obviously Mr. Snape must have been their target, do you have any idea why, Mr. Snape?"

You got to be kidding! For turning on them, for betraying vital information and fighting against them with all of my might, for taking them behind the light, for being a vital threat to their Inner Circle! Severus had to halt himself and shake his head remembering that it couldn't be any of these reasons, because none of it had happened. "No," he sighed, "unfortunately I don't."

Dumbledore nodded. "As you seem to be highly in danger, Mr. Snape, I would like you to stay at Hogwarts until term starts. I do believe it would be more convenient for everyone."

"Thank you, Sir," Severus nodded his consent.

"Are there family members we need to contact?"

"No, Sir."

"Are you sure?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "They will probably worry about you, or might even be in danger."

A sarcastic smirk appeared on Severus' lips. "I don't have any family," he pointed out. "My mother is dead, no siblings, no aunts or uncles, no grandparents and you saw for yourself what my father is worth, so you really don't have to worry."

He could feel Lupin's shocked stare on him and turned his head to send an annoyed one right back, actually making Lupin look uncomfortable for once to his great satisfaction.

"Very well," Dumbledore sighed. "Mr. Lupin, it seems to me you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You should probably simply return home for the remainder of the vacation."

"Sir," Lupin hesitated. "If it's not too much trouble, I would rather stay here with Severus. I sort of promised not to let him out of my sight, before I returned him to Lily."

The twinkle found its way back into Dumbledore's eyes and he smiled cheerfully. "Oh, but I'm sure that Mr. Snape will be quite safe here at Hogwarts, you don't need to worry."

"Still," Remus looked determined. "I intend to keep my promise, Sir."

Dumbledore's twinkle intensified if possible. "I'm sure Mr. Snape would appreciate the company. Why don't you go and clean up? That should give you time to clear your minds, we will be able to continue this discussion later, when the events have settled down."

Severus could only too well feel his own greasiness and gratefully left the Headmaster's office to wander down the stairs.

"You really don't need to stay," he addressed Lupin sourly.

Lupin shrugged. "No need to have Lily being mad at both of us. She's going to be upset enough as it is."

Severus physically cringed. Lupin was only too right.

"Man, isn't it going to be fun?" Lupin asked sarcastically. "Lily is going to be mad, James is going to be mad because you upset Lily, Sirius is going to be mad because James is mad, and all hell is going to break loose! How do I keep finding myself in these situations?"

"By foolish choices obviously," Severus commented dryly.

"Bah," Lupin shrugged with a slight smile on his lips. "Keeps life interesting at least."

Severus shook his head and looked up to the ceiling, like being a werewolf didn't make life interesting enough.


	11. Relaxing hour

Sweet Merlin, wizard robes! Not too shabby good quality wizard robes!

Severus was never the one to complain about or put too much thought into clothing, neither was he unfamiliar with muggle clothes since he practically grew up in the muggle world, but holy Graces, did it feel good to put on real wizard robes! It felt like slipping into the skin he was supposed to wear, which fitted him and was his.

House-elves brought him clean clothes while he had been showering and he was absolutely delighted that they were wizard robes. He had even different colours to choose from, elegant brown, emerald green with some orange linings, midnight blue. However, there was no question about him putting on anything else but the simple black set. They were not nearly as fine as his former wardrobe from the other lifetime, and by no means thick since it would be far too hot for summer, not to mention billow around him. But they were nonetheless fantastic!

Freshly washed and in blessed with real wizard robes Severus left his old dorm and went down to the Slytherin common room. From there he wandered out on the school grounds to do what he had done often as a student, but as a teacher only during the summer vacation when he could be absolutely sure no one was going to see him, he sat down underneath a tree on the lakeshore leaning against it while trying to compose his mind.

He should probably try and contact Lily, however it might be risky to hand her any information at all. There was just no telling did the Death Eaters know that they were close or not. Though he was either writing to her as soon as possible or face her fury the next time they met. He'd better make a decision quickly, now in fact.

Her safety was the most important thing for him in the entire universe, so that would mean not writing... and have her being beyond furious. Urgh... he did not look forward to that. But what did the Death Eaters want with him in first place? Had they somehow found out he knew a lot about them, that he had given vital information to Dumbledore? Did they want him to join their ranks early?

He didn't get to sit alone for too long before Remus Lupin joined him wearing clean wizard robes as well, only his were bottle green.

However and thankfully Lupin didn't attempt to bother him with small talk, just sat down by another tree across from Severus and gazed straight ahead, seemingly deep in his own thoughts.

This was definitely Severus' favourite way to spend time with the werewolf. It meant he could pretend that Lupin was not there, although, to his great dissatisfaction, a small part of him seemed to enjoy the fact that someone was there keeping him company. It was sort of... nice?

Not as nice as Lily of course, Severus missed her already and wanted to know if she was safe. It gnarled on him not to know for sure. But it was also nice to have a faithful comrade who chose to stay with him out of his own free will.

Just like Lily Lupin was another one of those people who saw only the best in everyone, even if the people in question couldn't see it themselves. Probably because of his condition and all the prejudice he must have been exposed to from a very early age. Wizards in general did show nothing but contempt if not outright hate towards half-breeds, among other things they didn't understand.

Severus was probably more scared of werewolves than anyone, scared of the monster Lupin could turn into to this day, but not of Lupin himself. Severus knew him too well for that and also that Lupin had been very young when he was bitten, long before he had attended Hogwarts, and no matter how Severus turned it it wasn't Lupins fault.

The picture of a small, sandy-coloured, soft-furred pup in a tiny cell behind a large wooden door kept bothering him. Evelyn. Merlin, what was up with the girl? Was it bravery or sheer foolishness she was so full of? And considering her seize she shouldn't be able to contain so much of it anyway. What would she possibly have to go through? And could his potion still affect her in ways they hadn't accounted for?

Evelyn Clearwater. Who insisted she was a warrior. He sincerely hoped he had made a difference for her, if he had things might turn out better for her in general. She could grow up and come to Hogwarts, where she without doubt would end up a Gryffindor, as there was no other place to put her. Even though Severus did not like the house, Evelyn was so much one that it hurt to think about it. And she would walk around proudly with her head raised, ready to bite anyone who dared to say anything against her or her friends and give people glares which would make them cringe, pull all sorts of foolish stunts around the school grounds and land in loads of trouble, becoming a headache to all the teachers, who he was not going to be one of.

Severus almost got lost in the fantasy of him making this new future possible, that he had done something good for once, before he faltered... the future was still unsure and he couldn't help her any more than he had already. She would have to be brave on her own. Though, he smirked, bravery didn't seem to be a problem and would no doubt help her to survive.

If a werewolf didn't have it in him or her to live their life the person would pass away, especially when bitten at a young age. Seventy percent of all infected would die within a year of the incident for various reasons, mainly commit suicide or simply waste away just stopping to fight. Severus had read about people who had simply given up lacking the strength or bravery to fight and wouldn't turn back into humans after the full moon, because their human consciousness had given in and gone away. When such a thing happened the wolf would just be killed seeing as the person inside was all but dead. Weakness, grief and desperation could drive a person to give in to the wolf even outside of the full moon. In this case the snarling shell of what was once human would be disposed of as well.

Severus regarded Lupin with renewed interest.

In the past he had often thought Lupin to be a bloody coward, mainly for not standing up to his friends, and yet he had survived a whole lifetime of being a werewolf, survived people dear to him dying and suddenly being all alone, he had gone through war, loss and grief without ever giving up or giving in. And like Severus Lupin had been a spy, not quite in the same position as Severus, who had been in the Inner Circle of the most feared wizard of the century, but it didn't alter the fact that it was the hardest position to have in war and Lupin had made through it twice. Working with the very man who had ruined his life with a bite when he was a boy, facing Fenrir Grayback, pretending to be his loyal servant every day, no, Remus John Lupin was not a coward, far from it. He was a Gryffindor as foolish and bravely as they came.

Yes, it was the ugly bitter truth. Remus Lupin had started out at a point just as low as Severus himself, their lifelong hells were probably equally great and filled with loss. And yet, Remus John Lupin had always been the better teacher, the better friend and the better man, always getting out on top of it somehow.

_Face it Severus Snape, swallow your pride and accept it! Remus Lupin is worth being bothered with and you can't underestimate neither him nor his value, nor... urgh, please, dear Merlin, no... his friendship, dammit!_

Severus clenched his jaw. _Choices, it's all about choices, you are here to make the right choices Severus Snape, so you won't have to die in regret again, and you would hate yourself forever if you don't start treating Lupin with respect. Damn him!_

Damn Evelyn too, because she had helped him understand Lupin better, and he couldn't hate her for the life of him.

He leaned back facing the sky. _You were right old man, I can be a decent person, happy now? And I also admit it's indeed what I want deep down, just don't you dare being smug about it, Dumbledore, or I'll hex you off the face of the earth!_

"Lupin," he called out to him.

"Yes," Lupin answered lifting an eyebrow.

"When considering the improvement of the Wolfsbane Potion, what approach do you think would be the best? To go for stopping the transformation entirely, so the drinker won't transform when taking it every full moon, or to make the current potion last longer, taken once to have it last for a year or so."

"Definitely making it last longer," Lupin answered eyeing Severus oddly, almost calculating.

"Or," Severus took a breath, "concentrate on a draught that would act as a vaccine of sorts, which you would have to take one single time to render the curse non-contagious for anyone."

Lupin considered this thoroughly before looking down in a futile attempt to hide his pain. "The last option," he said softly, "definitely."

"Would Evelyn want this as well?"

"I think so," Lupin blinked. "Though, I can't be sure of course."

Severus leaned back again and kept quiet his mind already working on theories, though he wished he had his Potions books and his old Defence Against the Dark Arts book filled with all the werewolf notes with him.

"How old were you when you were bitten?" he asked for no reason.

"When I was five."

"I guess you have no memory of how not to be a werewolf."

"Not really, no," Lupin shrugged. "I guess this sort of makes it easier."

Severus rolled his eyes shaking his head, was Lupin trying to impress him or something? "Then I assume no help is needed."

"I'm not complaining," Lupin smirked. "Being a werewolf is absolutely horrible, I hate it so much that I would do a lot to stop being one," he sighed deeply. "I can't even tell you how much this potion actually means to me, because it's just..." Lupin gestured helplessly with his arms, then sighed slumping down in defeat.

"I knew there had to be a reason you suddenly wanted to be comrades."

Lupin chuckled. "Well, if that's what you choose to believe," he smiled.

"And you even admit it," Severus smirked. "Lupin, you surprise me, you should have acted the decent person and denied."

"Perhaps," Lupin's smile grew wider, "and Severus, would it hurt you to call me Remus?"

Yes... well, Severus had already broken his own rules by deliberately starting this small talk, so he might as well go all the way now and really regret everything next morning. "No, I guess," he sighed.

"Wow!" Lupin leaned back. "I guess you really must be Severus Snape, because an impersonator would never have done such a bad job of it."

Severus shook his head in amusement. "What? You want me to call you Moony? I'd be happy to call you just werewolf."

Lupin chuckled again. "I'm fine with Moony, though coming from you it would be fairly odd, and I would have to come up with a nickname for you. Somehow I doubt you would want that."

"And you would be absolutely right," Severus growled with a hint of threat.

"Really, I thought you were quite fond of them, Mr. Half-Blood Prince."

Severus frowned annoyed remembering all too well how they had figured that out. The Marauders had once stolen his school books to copy his notes and spells and found "Belongs to the Half-Blood Prince" in his writing on the cover inside. It had become a cause of laughter and teasing for over half a year. He had been too proud to tell why he had signed his books like that, it was because at the time he had been so ashamed of his surname that he didn't want to see it more than necessary. Snape was a name which represented his father, a man he had feared and hated above anyone else. Prince stood for what he had longed to be then, of old pure blood, yet too afraid to seek out his grandfather whom he now knew to be alright.

"That's actually a pretty cool name," Remus mused. "Can I use it when I send messages to you?"

"Whatever," Severus hissed through clenched teeth.

"Great!"

And Severus regretted even earlier than planned that he had gone through with this. He just bloody hated Lupin!

He spent the next couple of days pretty much doing the same routine, he would go to the library and read, borrow some books and go outside to read some more. Then think and read. Eat his meals in the Great Hall with the few teachers who were there and Lupin who followed him around quite a lot. Severus Snape was actually really, really bored.

He had never had so much free time on his hands which was not assigned to anything and he could honestly tell it sucked horribly. It was so unnerving that Severus slowly started to feel his brain shrivel in sheer boredom. He could study on the Wolfsbane of course, but only that much.

A small but welcome distraction arrived in form of his O.W.L. results. They were of course exceptionally good, he had expected no less of himself.

_Astronomy: E_

_Care of Magical Creatures: A_

_Charms: O_

_Defence Against the Dark Arts: O_

_Herbology: E_

_History of Magic: E_

_Potions: O_

_Transfiguration: O_

_Arithmancy: O_

_Ancient Runes: O_

Six O's... he had gotten only four the last time around. It was Charms and Aritmancy which have changed from E's to O's, probably because of the practical exam which had been a breeze due to years of everyday use.

The letter included his book list for the N.E.W.T. subjects he had chosen, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Arithmancy and Charms. He would have liked to study Ancient Runes and Transfiguration further as well, but no N.E.W.T. student ever chose more than four subjects, mostly they took only two or three to be honest.

"Wow," Lupin looked astounded at Severus' grades. "That's amazing Severus, six O's! Merlin!" He looked back at his own grades. "I only got three," he muttered.

_Astronomy: A_

_Care of Magical Creatures: O_

_Charms: E_

_Defence Against the Dark Arts: O_

_Herbology: E_

_History of Magic: A_

_Potions: P_

_Transfiguration: 0_

_Arithmancy: E_

_Ancient Runes: E_

_N.E.W.T. subjects: Care of Magical Creatures, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Ancient Runes. _

Severus lifted an eyebrow at him. "You failed potions?" he uttered mockingly.

"Yeah," Lupin looked rather embarrassed. "Although you should know that I'm oversensitive to many ingredients and potion fumes down there."

"That's hardly an excuse."

"I know," Remus blushed and turned away.

"How fitting for a werewolf with Animagus friends to get outstanding in these three subjects," Severus pointed out sarcastically.

"I'm not the one to complain," Lupin smiled. "I get to study what I wanted." Then he furrowed his brows. "I've been meaning to ask you for quite a while, how did you found out about their Animagus abilities? And do you know their forms as well?"

"Chances are that if I told you, you wouldn't believe me," Severus shook his head.

"Try me," Lupin challenged.

"Remus, don't take this the wrong way... on second thought, please do," Severus smirked. "But I really don't want to tell you."

"Will you tell me at least if you know their forms?" Lupin asked then.

"Fine," he shrugged. "Black is a big black dog, Pettigrew is a brown rat and I do believe that Potter is a stag."

Lupin did seem a little shocked, but composed himself quickly. "Are there other things we are trying to keep secret that you know?"

"Other than you being a werewolf?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't think so."

"Think?" Lupin sounded alarmed. "You might know more?"

"As it happens I know a lot of things I shouldn't," Severus admitted. "But unlike many other people I know how to keep my mouth shut. You really don't have to worry."

"I would still like to know how," Lupin stated.

"It doesn't matter. It's not going to endanger your friends' little secrets," Severus promised with his best sneer.

Lupin shook his head and sighed. "I'm not really satisfied with that answer to be honest," he informed him, but changed the subject suddenly. "Have you seen that you made the front page by the way?"

Severus lifted an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Here," Lupin handed him a copy of the Daily Prophet. The front page read:

_**WEREWOLF-CURE NOW A POSSIBILITY! **_

_An amazing breakthrough in the study of Lycanthropy has led to a potion, which helps werewolves to keep control of their minds during full moon. _

Severus scanned the article. It was filled with lots of stupid talk about the Ministry having worked hard and long to ease the werewolves' condition, which was obviously a total lie. There was also talk about how they had safely tested it.

His eyes lingered by the name Augustus Prince.

"_I have met the young creator," Augustus Prince a legend among Potions Masters and Head of the Prince family told us, "and I expect great things from him and his research in the future. I shall keep a keen eye on him and assist him any way I can. His discovery is amazing and opens entire new paths, not only in the treatment of the illness Lycanthropy, but also in the art of potions-making in general. I suspect it is going to be always exiting around this new talent, and I can only express my pride in having seen and assisted him in his work."_

Severus felt a strange knot of appreciation forming in his stomach. He had been called brilliant before, but it had never meant this much to him_. _Severus scanned the article further stopping at another familiar name, feeling utter dread this time.

_Dolores Umbridge, Head of the Department of Magical Creatures told us. "This of course gives us the right to make extra precautions when dealing with people who suffer Lycanthropy. Now that they have such a thing available to them, we should demand that they use it. I am currently working on a decree that demands all people with the illness of Lycanthropy to take the Wolfsbane Potion every month, which will make the world a safer place both for them and people around them. Of course they would have to individually find a way to get hold of the potion, as their illness is no fault of the common wizard and therefore common wizards should not pay for the use of valuable Ministry hired potion-makers for it. It should be easy for them to create and consume it individually. I expect this to be the beginning of a new world for people who have been forced to work or live with werewolves, so the day seems brighter already." _

Severus grinded his teeth, the nerve of her! How would any werewolf be able to afford that potion? He knew all too well how expensive it was, and complicated. And if Lupin who was not a dumb person had trouble with potions, because he was oversensitive to many of the ingredients because of his condition, what about all the other werewolves? Chances were that none of them would be able to brew it, and none of them would be able to afford both the ingredients and somebody to brew it. That horrible woman! There had to be a way she could turn the potion into something bad, there apparently just had to!

"I guess I should count myself lucky that Hogwarts will be making my potion for me," Lupin scratched himself behind the ear. "At least for another two years."

"And then what?" Severus snapped.

"I don't know, I guess I'll have to figure something out," Lupin shrugged.

"What about the other werewolves? What about Evelyn? I don't think she'll be able to procure that potion, let alone the version for her with unicorn hair in it!" Severus hissed his anger boiling at the thought that Umbridge had found a way to turn something of his that was supposed to do good into something bad.

"My Severus," Lupin smirked. "Who'd have thought you cared for people you don't know."

"I've seen too many people die not to care!"

"What?"

"I mean I just care for Evelyn," Severus bit his lip at his slip, and a stupid one at that. He wanted to defend himself instantly, which made him forget himself.

Lupin blinked a couple of times looking puzzled, but then mercifully dismissed it turning away, though still with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Mr. Snape!"

Severus turned around slowly to meet the eyes of his Head of House, Horace Slughorn, "sir?"

"May I speak with you?" Slughorn asked.

"Of course, sir," Severus stood up.

Slughorn led him to the dungeons and the Potions Master's office. It was really strange to enter this office again knowing that it wasn't his. Every inch of it was familiar, from the wooden desk to the small crack in the corner of the left wall. Only Slughorn had decorated differently of course, there were warm colours in the room now, gifts from former students in form of knick-knacks standing everywhere, as well as the infamous shelf with all of the pictures of famous wizards who were his former students.

Severus couldn't help but raise an eyebrow when he found his own picture having an honorary place in front of all of the others. The Slughorn in his previous lifetime had kept his picture as well he knew, but it had been hidden somewhere behind the more important people, and Severus had been quite happy with the arrangement to be honest. The picture of his teenage self clutching a book while looking fragile and scrawny was not something Severus would have wanted his students to see. His eyes wandered further over the room, a couple of potted plants made it appear more pleasant, even though there were plenty of jars with potion ingredients placed around the office as well.

"Sit down, my boy, sit down," Slughorn beamed at him.

Severus did as he was told regarding him puzzled.

"Now my boy," Slughorn laid a copy of the Daily Prophet down on the table with the front page upwards, "seems like we had an exciting breakthrough in potions."

"Indeed," Severus nodded.

"Do you know I was one of the first to receive the formula after it was tested? I got it to be able to recreate the potion myself," Slughorn continued.

"That's fascinating, sir," Severus commented beginning to suspect where this was leading and that it was not all good.

"There are a lot of rare ingredients in it," Slughorn continued. "Last year by the end of term somebody has broken into my private stock and stolen exactly those ingredients. That's quite a coincidence wouldn't you say?"

"Indeed sir," Severus put on an unemotional mask, while his mind was working fast.

"And the only one experimenting at that time has been you," Slughorn regarded him full of expectation.

Severus stared at Slughorn, Slughorn stared back. For a while they were just sitting and looking at each other, then Slughorn broke into a smile and Severus relaxed putting two and two together. Slughorn was delighted right now, so if Severus let himself to be collected into the Slugclub he would be quite safe. Slughorn was sitting with what he believed to be the biggest diamond he had ever seen right in front of him, and which he just had to own. It even explained why the picture had been moved.

"I'm sorry, sir," Severus apologised. "I shouldn't have taken your supplies."

"Just don't do it again," Slughorn beamed, "then I believe everything is in finest order. Would you like some chocolate? It's very good, from Belgium. A former student of mine is currently studying pixies over there, it's quite fascinating," he rummaged around in a drawer to retrieve a green package with fine chocolates inside.

"No thank you, sir," Severus declined. He still didn't like sweets.

"Oh, but I insist," Slughorn placed the box on the table. "It's really extraordinary good."

Frowning Severus took one, if only to stop Slughorn nagging him about it.

"Good, isn't it?" Slughorn asked when Severus stuffed it in his mouth and took one himself.

"Quite," Severus downright lied trying to swallow the sugary substance with cherry cream in it.

"Your grandfather must be proud," Slughorn continued.

Severus looked at him shocked.

"He speaks very highly of you in the article," Slughorn didn't seem to notice.

"How have you found out?" Severus asked a little confused. "He doesn't even know he's my grandfather! I myself have found out only when we met this summer!"

"Oh, my dear boy," Slughorn looked apologetic. "I had no idea your family had broken up like this, but you forget that I had your mother in my house. I knew her very well," he smiled warmly, "such a nice, clever young lady, though awfully shy." He sighed and shook his head. "She could have made it far if she only had a little more confidence, but she definitely had a good heart." Then he brightened again. "But I guess your brilliant potions skills can help mending the family, Augustus is probably ecstatic over such talent!"

"He offered me to become his apprentice," Severus admitted.

"Oh, that's marvellous!"

"I declined."

Slughorns face fell. "But surely you must pursue your talent in Potions," he said. "And with such a good opportunity I can even see Augustus officially making you his heir."

_I'm his heir already._ "I think I'd rather spend my time in the field of Defence Against the Dark Arts," Severus said at last.

"You want to become an Auror?"

"No," Severus answered flatly.

Slughorn suddenly became a bit nervous licking his lips and avoiding Severus' eyes. "Do you have... something in mind?" he asked a bit unsure.

Severus looked at him puzzled and then mentally slapped himself. Of course! Slughorn was afraid that he intended to join the Death Eaters! However, as amusing as it could be, it seemed unwise to leave him in such believes.

"I had hoped to do research based work," Severus answered. "I don't believe I'm suitable to be an Auror." _More like, I would be the damn best Auror they've ever had, but no way am I going to spend my whole life chasing dark wizards. I've had enough action for ten lifetimes, thank you very much, and there's still a war to fight._

"Then becoming a Potions apprentice under one of the finest and most influential Potions Masters of the decade seems like a fairly good option to me," Slughorn relaxed hearing that.

"Perhaps," Severus had to agree. "I've hoped to be able to do a little travelling before starting education after Hogwarts."

"That is always a marvellous idea!" Slughorn applauded. "People always excel the most when they are out on their own for a while. I could provide you with contacts to the most fascinating research facilities around Europe. I'm sure any of them would be delighted to accommodate such a bright young talent."

"Thank you, sir," Severus nodded.

After finally escaping Slughorn Severus went to the owl tower. Almost a week had gone by and he figured it would be safe enough now to send a letter to Lily to assure her that everything was okay. She would be furious no doubt, but nothing for it. He pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill and took a deep breath choosing the words carefully. There was always a chance that the Death Eaters might intercept any birds in the area of his burned down house. Maybe he was just paranoid, but better safe than sorry.

_Dear Flower, _

_I'm sorry that I'm writing to you only now, but I had to make sure that it was safe._

_Those people might intercept owls._

_I'm at the place we usually spend all year with our books, so I'm quite safe, well and unharmed. Moony is here with me and keeps his promise of having an eye on me. _

_He wishes you a good mood and quite frankly so do I. I hope you're safe and well. Remember to take care of yourself._

_The Half-Blood Prince._

* * *

_You are so dead!_

_I can't believe you! I was terrified that something has happened to you and Moony! The house burned down to the ground and you were just gone! I've been searching everywhere for you and guess how much sleep I've got between the house incident and your letter. None! I thought you might be dead, for Merlin's sake!_

_You got so much explaining to do when I come over there, and Moony too! How could the two of you do this to me! I'm so mad at you, and mom and dad are as well! We were all sick with worry about you, and you better apologise to my parents personally next time you have the chance, or I will never ever forgive you! And please just take care of yourself and try not to kill Moony, he just wants your best, he's not like the other Marauders. I need to kill him myself when I see him, so don't you dare touch him!_

_Flower as I guess you call me now, IDIOT!_

* * *

_Dear Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't meet up with you guys as we planned, I was sidetracked. Kind of. _

_I went to visit Lily as I said and Severus just happened to be there as well. Then somebody set magical fire to his house and Death Eaters appeared obviously with the intention to attack Severus, so he apparated us to Hogsmeade, Lily he sent home before the Death Eaters came. _

_Anyway, we were suddenly in Hogsmeade, and you'll never guess who we met there! Did you know that Dumbledore has a brother? We've met him and he informed Dumbledore about what has happened. Dumbledore took us to Hogwarts, so it's where I am alone with Severus now, because I promised Lily I would keep an eye on him until we met her again._

_Something really strange is going on around him, I'm sure he has only good intentions, but it only makes it even stranger. _

_Anyway, I'm fine, so don't worry about me. It really sucks we can't spend the rest of the vacation together, but a promise is a promise._

_Moony. _

* * *

_Dear Moony, _

_we are really sorry for you, stuck with Snivelly, bad luck mate! Just remember not to let him bother you. _

_We had no idea Dumbledore has a brother, although Padfoot claims that he isn't surprised. _

_Death Eaters targeted Snivellus and burned down his house? Did someone get hurt? Do you think he pissed them off?_

_Apparated? How could he do that?_

_And why would Lily be so determined to ensure Snivellus' safety? Are you sure she wasn't just sarcastic?_

_Please take care of yourself and don't let him ruin your summer vacation! _

_We are all very sorry that you can't be with us. _

_Just kick Snivellus from us and take care._

_Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail._

* * *

_Prongs you dimwit, _

_I will do no such thing as kicking him! _

_He's really not that bad, at least I can have a proper conversation about Arithmancy with him. _

_Well, at least you seemed concerned about his family, no one got hurt, and here is why. This might shock you, but Severus has no family, and I do mean none at all, no mother or father or any other relatives. Please don't use it against him! He'll have my head if he finds out I told you. _

_And stop calling him Snivellus! He's treating me alright and I think I'm getting through to him. Well, a little perhaps. As I said, he's not all that bad and that's why Lily is concerned for his safety. They are good friends, you dumbo! _

_However, I have no idea how he could apparate. You're right, he shouldn't be able to do that. I guess we are going to have a really long talk when we see each other again. _

_Till then, don't be too mad at me and have fun. I wish I were there._

_Moony._

* * *

_I'm sorry Flower, _

_but your safety is simply too important to me. _

_Please apologise to your family for me, I'm so grateful for everything they've done for me. And I will thank them personally when I get the chance. _

_Moony will be disappointed that you're mad at him too, he has somehow convinced himself that you wouldn't. _

_I'm just happy to know that you're alright. _

_Remember, I trust you and would do anything to see you happy and safe. _

_The Half-Blood Prince._

* * *

_Bloody dumbass, _

_I just want to see you happy too, so do try and make an effort in that regard and stop wallowing around! And know this, I do trust you. _

_So for Merlin's sake don't do stuff like that, and don't keep me in suspense like this, you're better than that, I know you! _

_Flower._


	12. Another year at Hogwarts

Finally! At last!

Severus had been stuck at Hogwarts with only Lupin for company for far too long, thus it felt like an enormous relief to have school start again.

This was the first time ever Severus was actually happy for school to start, he usually had looked forward to this day with dread. As a student it had been a two edged sword as it meant both getting away from his father and returning to an almost daily torment by the Marauders, and as a teacher he had actually considered wracking that train at times, stranding all the students midway through Scotland. Now he was ecstatic. He had been so bored, his mind began to lose the ability to focus buzzing with incoherent thoughts he couldn't possibly draw anything useful from.

When the last day before school had passed by his hands were itching at the thought of seeing Lily again. She could yell at him all she wanted, he would be too happy to care! That was probably why he ended up waiting on the school grounds for the thestral-drawn carriages and the students they brought.

"Severus," Lupin hesitated when he took place beside him. "I can understand you don't like my friends, but I hope you won't be mad at me for staying friends with them."

Severus lifted an eyebrow. "Be quiet Remus, you are going to be in trouble enough as it is for sticking to me."

"Why that, may I ask?" Lupin looked curious.

"Because you are going to be the one to pay whenever I find toads instead of my books in my bag now," Severus smirked. "You'll have no excuse for allowing such childish behaviour anymore."

"I can't have my eyes on everything they do," Lupin pouted. "Besides, you could just send Lily after them if it came down to this. Her they do have respect for at least."

"If she's not too mad at me," Severus muttered.

Finally the leather-winged horses came into view and began approaching them steadily coming to a halt before the main entrance. Without thinking Severus reached out to caress a thestral's head, which had stopped right in front of him.

"You can see them?" Lupin asked.

"Obviously," Severus responded shortly.

"SEV! SEV!" a redhead was pushing herself through the crowds.

"Here, Lily!" Severus called out to her.

She pushed the people between them aside almost violently, nearly making one Regulus Black fall flat on his nose when she stormed past him with stretched out arms, before enveloping Severus in a tight hug.

Severus stiffened for a moment in surprise, but then relaxed and returned it.

"Don't you ever do such a thing to me again!" Lily scolded angrily. "Merlin, you scared me! Do you know that?"

"I'll try my best no to," Severus promised sincerely.

"Moony!"

Three familiar boys made their way through the crowds to meet their friend. Attack him more like when Black jumped on Lupin as if he was weighing nothing.

"Moony you survived, that's amazing!" Black lifted the werewolf up in a bear hug.

"Easy Pad, he hasn't survived only to be killed by you," Potter smirked. Black removed one arm from Remus and flung it around Potter's shoulder drawing both of them in.

"Well, I've been worried knowing that life without me can be hell."

"More like finally somewhat peaceful," Lupin grumbled, but his smile gave it away. "I got actually some work done for once."

"How horrible!" Potter faked shock and disgust. "Padfoot, I think he has gone insane being trapped at school with Snivelly!"

The smile disappeared from Lupin's face in an instant.

"What?" Black regarded him worried.

"Please stop calling him that," Lupin said softly. He glanced towards Severus, who was just holding Lily's hand now. "Please," he muttered.

The three boys turned to Severus.

Then the three pairs of eyes were captured by Lily's. Severus didn't even have to look at her to know that she glared at them warningly and furious, the tightening of her hand around his and the fact that the Marauders took a step back while looking mildly scared was proof enough.

"Fine!" the word came over Potter's lips seeing her reaction.

"Come on, let's go," Lupin suggested quietly walking away from Severus and dragging Black who still had his arm around his neck with him.

Pettigrew tripped after them and Potter stayed only long enough to give them an odd and obviously puzzled look, before turning around and following his friends, quickening his pace as he yelled, "Hey guys wait up!"

Lily's hand tightened around his even more, almost hurting it.

"You can let go of my hand now," Severus suggested.

"Am I hurting you?"

"A little."

"Good!" and she squeezed it harder boring her nails into his flesh, making Severus gasp in surprise, but then thankfully let go, leaving him to shake his hand in the air.

"What did you do this for?" He sounded mildly shocked.

"What do you think, Severus Snape?"

"Lily, I told you that I'm sorry," he defended himself.

"I know, that's why I'm talking to you at all," she informed him, "but honestly, I thought you better than that." She shook her head. "Come on, let's get inside!" she grabbed his hand to pull him with her. Sadly, she had to let go again far too soon when she started walking towards the Gryffindor table and Severus over to the Slytherin one.

Unfortunately for him the table was far too crowded to sit alone and away from his peers. Thank Merlin, Lucius Malfoy had graduated last summer and wasn't there, Narcissa Black however was and sitting across him. On either side of him were some younger Slytherins he honestly didn't remember the names of. Except...

Severus blinked looking into the young face and baby blue eyes already gleaming with madness. Barty Crouch Jr. was two years below Severus, how could he have forgotten? Lucius Malfoy wasn't the only future Death Eater among the Slytherins, there was Mulciber and Wilkes both on his own year, Narcissa a year above him, and Regulus Black a year below him. These people were really dangerous.

The first-years were sorted and Dumbledore rose to give his speech. It was all about the dark times they were facing and how they should all learn to corporate and hold together in friendship, find faith in each other and fight for the greater good.

Severus didn't even bother to listen. He had heard this speech many times before.

The door to the Great Hall closed with a resounding boom and all the students turned to look at the newcomer. An icy feeling went down Severus' back. It was a tall slim man with light brown hair falling down his thin, angular face. In fact his entire body was sharp-angled enough to seem like one could cut oneself by standing too close. His grey eyes watched the hall sharply with his pointy nose turned up. He was youngish, in his mid-twenties and Severus knew him very well, Graham Spinner, a Death Eater.

Severus had to ask himself again how he could have forgotten that. Just how?

Spinner had spent this year at Hogwarts trying to scout out good recruits for the Death Eater ranks, even started telling them about the grandeur of the Dark Lord. He had been found out eventually, by the Marauders if Severus wasn't mistaken, and in a desperate attempt at escape had taken two first-years hostage, threatening to kill one of them to show that he was serious. A ploy from the Marauders had stopped him, though Severus knew only now it had been them being aware of their forms. Pettigrew obviously had been the rat, which had so luckily distracted Spinner and Black the big dog making him trip on the way out, Lupin then appeared out of thin air, or should we say from under the invisibility cloak, attacking him from behind, and Potter emerged from the bushes stunning and binding him.

Quite well done indeed! Spinner had been given the Dementor's Kiss without much of a trial. Severus shuddered, no one deserved a Dementor's Kiss, no one... well, Umbridge maybe, but chances were that she would give them digestions.

Severus kept observing Spinner when Dumbledore presented him as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and could see how Spinner smirked eying the Slytherin table up and down, momentarily even capturing Severus' eyes, which had made him smile even wider. Severus needed to be careful now, the Death Eaters were targeting him for some reason after all. Should he send a Patronus and warn Dumbledore that Spinner was a Death Eater? Probably not, it would be foolish to send too many messages to Dumbledore and hardly make any difference, seeing as he would give Spinner a chance to prove himself anyway.

He could just let history run its course and let the Marauders handle it as they did the last time of course, but that would be the same as endangering first-year students. Severus was not prepared to do that and he had to remind himself that he was now a target as well.

He followed his fellow housemates down to the dungeons and spent the rest of the evening considering possible courses of action, at least his mind seemed to be able to focus now, finally with something coherent to focus on. It was how he worked best, but was still at loss for a good solution. For now there wasn't anything he could do he supposed, so he would have to just wait and see.

Next morning he met up with Lily at the Hufflepuff table to their unofficial morning ritual, she still seemed slightly angry, but had definitely cooled down. When the owl post arrived they both received a small green envelope signed with golden lettering, invitations to the first Slug Club meeting of the year. Severus sighed, he had to go, otherwise Slughorn would be in his good right to expel him for the stolen ingredients. He supposed he would have to attend only for a couple of months, until the incident was so long ago that no one would take Slughorn seriously if he came up with it and Slughorn would know that.

Lily and Severus received their schedules as well. Severus had changed Arithmancy to Ancient Runes, so he would have at least one new subject to study, he didn't think he could stand two years of pure repetition. He glanced at Lily's schedule, they were almost identical. She had chosen Potion, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Ancient Runes and Herbology, and the best of it, since the N.E.W.T. level classes were no longer separated into houses and consisted of all students who had chosen the subject instead, they would be together almost the entire time!

"Looks like we are heading to Charms together," Lily commented pointing at their first Monday class.

"Would seem so," Severus nodded.

They gathered their things and made their way towards the Charms classroom meeting all the Marauders minus Pettigrew on the way.

It was obvious that words had been exchanged in private when Lupin greeted both him and Lily cheerfully, while the other two were trying hard to ignore it, probably out of respect for their friend. However when Lupin went on and Lily looked the other way, Black caught Severus' eye and formed the word "snake" with his lips. Potter starred at him with equal distrust before following Lupin as Lily was turning around again.

Severus was so glad he had changed Arithmancy to Ancient Runes. At least it felt like he was learning something in this class, even though it wasn't much. Basic rune knowledge was a given for many advanced potions and more so for spell invention, which had been Severus' favourite hobby when he was younger. The rest was only repetition of what he already knew by heart and could practise in his sleep.

In Charms they studied how to put your own touch to a charm literately moulding it into an extension of your magic, enabling you to do any charms fitting the occasion without bothering with words, or long sequences of thought for that matter. However it only worked with simple charms and was the kind of magic Severus had been doing for years anyway. They would move on to duelling, but again, what was the point other than freshening up basic duelling tactics?

Potions was of course a joke, Defence Against the Dark Arts however would continue to be interesting, mostly due to the Death Eater teaching it. Severus could tell he was watched by the said Death Eater not only during class, but also followed around in his free time, constantly having to resort to all sorts of manoeuvres to get rid of him. Like making a sharp turn and quickly stepping into a classroom, so it would seem that he was gone when Spinner reached the corridor, only to step out again ten minutes later and go in the opposite direction. Dumb, easy ones were often the best.

It was a Thursday evening and Severus was sitting in the Slytherin common room for once, trying to come up with more of them. He was spending very little time here, usually preferring to read with Lily in the library or somewhere outside. When they studied Ancient Runes Lupin would often join them, as none of the other Marauders had chosen it. Unfortunately Severus couldn't spend every minute of every evening with Lily, and today happened to be the one where she had planned other things.

To his surprise he was approached by a shy Slytherin girl, probably a couple of years below him. He had no idea who she was.

"Em... hi," the girl stuttered nervously.

Severus lifted an eyebrow. "Evening," he greeted in return.

"I was wondering," she bit her lip, "could I talk to you about something?"

Severus looked surprised, but nodded his consent and gestured to the chair in front of him. She sat down and just fidgeted nervously for a couple of moments, so Severus had time to take a good look at her. She was not very tall for her age and had long dark brown hair falling down her back in two braids. A pair of oval glasses was sitting on her small nose, covering the big, almond-shaped, chocolate coloured eyes. Her figure was quite delicate giving the impression that you could make her fall over with the slightest push. She sat there in uncertain silence, until Severus had finally decided to initiate the conversation.

"Is there something you wanted to ask?"

The girl jumped at that, before starting fingering with her hair. "Erm, yes... urh, last year you kind of... told them off," she nodded in the direction of a group of Slytherins sitting close together not far from them, and whom Severus had once followed around like a puppy dog, all of them future Death Eaters.

"I did," Severus confirmed feeling a bit proud of the fact.

"They don't... scare you?"

"No, not really," Severus shrugged. "They are nothing to be afraid of."

The girl regarded him with badly hidden admiration. "I was thinking... they are always so tightly organised, containing like the half the house it seems, and we..." she swallowed "...the rest," she gestured into the room, "are scattered outsiders."

Severus' eyes followed the direction of her hand conceding that it was true enough. Many people were sitting in remote corners alone, those who didn't look like mean bullies.

"And _those_ people," there was disgust in her voice. "They make all of us look bad!"

She was right of course, but Severus was wondering still. "Why are you coming with this to me?"

"Well, I was thinking..." she tugged on her hair "...maybe we should do something to unite the rest of the house, you know, to stand up to them and show the rest of the school that we are not like them. People are less likely to be persuaded to..." she gulped "...to join You-Know-Who if they know they aren't all alone."

She had a remarkably good point, but... "I still don't see why you came to me?"

And he sincerely meant it, yet gave her his full attention laying his book aside.

"Well, you're not afraid of them," she said bluntly. "And if you stood up then maybe..." she sighed "...maybe we could follow you."

Severus was confused. What exactly was this girl thinking? "I still have no idea of what exactly you want me to do."

"Well," the girl hesitated still very nervous. "To begin with we could start a club... to collect people."

Severus' face contorted in disgust immediately.

"I thought... maybe just making it a sort of reading and tutoring thing. I mean... it would look less suspicious if you just offered to help people with their school work once a week, people are more likely to join something like this," she explained. "I could organise tea and hopefully it would encourage people to start talking."

"You definitely have your hopes high," Severus commented.

"Well," the girl shrugged and smiled at him far too innocently. "Slytherin _is_ the house of ambition."

Huh, quite right! Severus found himself intrigued. "What is your name?"

"Penelope Pauperitt," she lightened up. "Please, just call me Penelope."

"Severus Snape," he responded politely, even though it was probably unnecessary, she had approached him after all.

"I know," Penelope smiled sheepishly. "Does it mean you're in?"

"I'm not sure," he hesitated.

"Please," Penelope fixed her big eyes on him. "Doesn't it seem like a very smart and Slytherin thing to do? To at least try and collect the scattered house somehow, so we can stand up for ourselves and show that we aren't just a bunch of bullies?"

She was right of course.

"And you want all this to lead to Slytherin being accepted by the other houses, so they won't be picked upon and can find the courage to fight for the Light in the battles to come?"

Her answer came with a sly smile. "Well, you need to start somewhere," she pointed out. "Did you know that Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin had been close as brothers once? I mean... it's possible, right? You and Evans..." she blushed and looked away obviously believing to have blurted out too much.

This girl was unbelievable! She was going to use cake and cookies to unite people? Yet Severus could not help the feeling that it might actually work, and she did have her fair share of points.

"Fine," he finally agreed. "But it's your idea, so you're going to organise it all yourself, little Miss. I'll just show up and do my part."

"Great! How about next Thursday six o'clock in the empty classroom two doors down from Transfiguration?"

Severus was speechless. She had actually thought this through? Then shook his head, of course she had, she was a Slytherin and not one of the dumb ones either.

"Very well," he managed to get over his lips.

"It would be a good idea to bring tutors from other houses as well," Penelope mussed pointedly. "You know, to plant the idea of inter house collaboration from the beginning."

"Now you're pushing it," Severus had to tell her.

"Isn't Evans the top of her class?" Penelope asked innocently. "You are spending all day with her anyway."

"Fine, I'll ask her," Severus grumbled annoyed. "Anyone else you have in mind?"

"Well, I've hoped to get Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw to join eventually, but I suppose you don't happen to know anyone from there?"

Her voice trembled when she uttered Hufflepuff for some reason, though Severus dismissed it quickly.

"No, I don't," he told her flatly. "Those you must find yourself."

"Sure," Penelope smiled almost beaming in joy.

Severus frowned when she got up and skidded away. What on earth had he gotten himself into now?


	13. Spinner Spins

Throughout the evening, Severus had sort of feared Lily's reaction to his suggestion – well, really, the younger Slytherin's suggestion – that she would say no, or at least be a little hesitant. But she was ecstatic.

She clapped her hands together and beamed, and looked like she was almost ready to jump up and down. "Oh Sev, what a wonderful idea!" she joyously exclaimed.

"You think so?" Severus himself was still unsure about the whole thing.

"Of course I do!" she beamed. "You know, we should ask Remus if he wants to come too! He actually really loves helping people with schoolwork," She pointed out. "And he would hate me forever if I let him out of this sort of opportunity."

"What sort of opportunity?" Severus had to ask.

"To help people get a long of cause," said Lily, who at this point, was so excited she couldn't contain herself. "We should ask him right now! Oh, look, there he is!" she pointed away from their table and to Remus who was wandering around, laughing with his friends.

"Urgh, couldn't we just wait till Ancient Runes?" Severus asked hopefully, not really wanting to approach the Marauders.

"That's tomorrow, silly," Lily pointed out. Then she saw Potter eyeing them and Black whispering something in Potter's ear that made Potter smirk, Pettigrew giggle and Remus wrinkle his nose in lighter disgust. "I suppose I could just ask him in the common room," She then muttered, changing her mind.

As they entered their Defence against the Dark Arts classroom a little while after, where all of the Marauders were unfortunately present. Severus lifted an eyebrow slightly, eyeing the place where he usually sat. Without much thought, he picked up the concealed stink bomb and turned to Potter. "I believe this is yours." He commented dryly, throwing the object at Potter, who, by pure instinct, caught it. Unfortunately, not two seconds later, the little object suddenly exploded and sent a cascade of slime all over Potter's face.

Potter looked absolutely flabbergasted, and so did Black – but even he had trouble keeping back a smile. Lupin was trying his best to conceal his laughter behind his hand. Even the little rat was chuckling beside his friends.

James, however, seemed like he was about to explode. "What are you laughing at?" he exclaimed.

Instead of quieting his friends, it had the opposite effect, and Lupin, in particular, only laughed harder. "You sure had that coming, mate!" he laughed, clutching his stomach.

James shot a sour look at Lupin, but his lip was trembling a bit too much upwards to make it seem like a threat as he began to realise the comedy in the situation.

Even Lily was laughing with them in her sweet light laughter.

"It's not funny." James muttered, even though he himself was laughing a little. But then, his eyes turned hard, and his smile was gone – probably from seeing his so-called "nemesis" chuckling away at his expense. "It's really not."

"But I believe you would have thought it hilarious if I had been the victim of the prank as was intended?" Severus questioned. "That. I must say, is not a good sense of humour."

"Shut up." James hissed.

"In fact, I believe, it would be the same as being a bully." Severus continued smoothly, as if he hadn't heard Potter.

"I told you to shut it."

Severus smirked dangerously. "An immature, spoiled, inconsiderate prat."

"Scourgify!" James yelled without warning, whipping his wand out.

With ease, Severus threw a _Protego_, and the spell harmlessly disappeared.

"Wow." Black looked stunned. "I didn't even know he had his wand out."

"Black, it's rude to talk like I'm not here," Severus sneered.

Black looked hard at Severus, hate burning in his eyes. "Like you're the one to teach manners!" he spat as he retrieved his wand readied his stance for a fight.

Severus just stood absolutely still in a resting manner, his wand resting lazily in his hand, not looking like he intended to use it. "I doubt that you would listen even if I tried."

Lupin stared very nervously at the situation that unfolded itself, and Severus could not see what Lily was doing.

"Expelliarmus!" Potter shouted, and the fight was on.

Severus barely flicked his wand to cast another _Protego_.

"Immobilus!" Black added, and, of course, did little harm to either of them.

"Impedimento!"

"Levicorpus!"

"Guys, stop!" Lupin suddenly shouted. "This is pointless! It's going to go nowhere if he is just using _Protego_," He said, matter-of-factly. "You could go on like this forever. And besides, I don't think Severus is going to actually attack, are you?" he looked questioningly at Severus.

Severus shook his head. "No, of course not," he answered. "I hardly see such babies being worth it."

"Take that back!" Black scowled.

Severus smirked. "Make me."

"Sev, that's enough!" A small hand gripped his shoulder. "As you said yourself," Lily looked grumpily at the Marauders. "These prats aren't worth it."

The sound of clapping hands could be heard from the other end of the classroom, and slowly the students turned their heads, to the astonishing discovery that it was their tall scrawny teacher clapping his long fingered hands together in a slow rhythm.

"Sir." Potter looked embarrassedly at their teacher.

"Mr. Potter," Spinner looked coldly at him. "If you were just a little more incompetent, I would have to throw you out of the class."

James blushed red beneath the green slime that was still covering his face.

"And Mr. Black," Spinner squinted his eyes at Sirius. "Your blood is much better than that. Your little demonstration was pathetic. But Mr. Lupin," His thin lips spread in a smile. "Knew exactly what was going on all the time, and Mr Snape," His smile, becoming a large grin, gave off the impression that his teeth were too small for his mouth, yet long enough for them to be feral.

"He drew that wand and used it as a professional," he stated, with a predatory glance in Severus's direction. "The posture both threw his opponents off, as your subconscious mind told you that he was not prepared or dangerous… making your spells sloppy, but, at the same time, also allowed him to formulate his defence much more freely, and, not to mention, most importantly, he was able to keep a clear head." The grin grew even wider. "He probably knew I would have to give you detention if you threw around hexes in my classroom. Besides, I'm sure Mr. Snape has better things to do. Plus," Spinner nodded approvingly at Severus. "He has such a good way with words, wouldn't you say?"

Severus coldly returned the look, not even smiling.

If anything, Spinner's face became even more appalling, as it twisted into an unnaturally big grin, showcasing all of his sharp teeth, before finally returning to just a smirk. "Detention, Mr. Black, Mr. Potter. My office, next Thursday."

Both Sirius's and James's faces fell. "But sir." Potter uttered plaintively. "That's when Quidditch practices is! Couldn't we have it another evening?"

"If you don't want any more detentions, then take my advice: do not cast hexes during my classes unless instructed to. Do I make myself clear?" Spinner smirked.

Potter was definitely swearing under his breath, as was Black. Potter was the team's captain, so it was possibly the worst punishment for him, and as far as Severus remembered, Black was the Gryffindor keeper since their fourth year. But despite their anger, they both nodded sullenly.

"Class, sit!" Spinner demanded. "Clearly you need a lesson in defending yourselves! Always keep your guard up! Always be ready to take the upper hand; be cleverer than anyone else." Without any form of warning or words uttered, a red light shot with the speed of a bullet from Spinner and towards Severus, who deflected it easily, without too much effort.

The entire class looked stunned at Severus, and Spinner looked ecstatic. Without any warning, another red light shot from his wand, but this time in Potter's direction, and he could not dodge it or reflect it. Instead, it hit him hard in the chest and threw him backwards.

"Sloppy!" Spinner barked, Potter moaning in pain, trying to fight to sit up. "Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy!" he screeched. "Potter, despicable. Seeing as Mr. Snape had already dodged my first hex, you should have been ready for the next one!"

Potter groaned as he rubbed his chest in pain, sending a sour look in the Spinner's direction, when, without warning another red beam shot out from Spinner's wand, this time in the Sirius's direction. He however, did a tad better, being unable to deflect it but managing to bend down and dodge the shot.

"Not as good as Mr. Snape." Spinner muttered. "But better than Mr. Potter. I guess your blood comes in handy."

"What does blood have to do with anything?" Sirius scowled, annoyed. "And even if it's that case, Snape is bloody Muggle-raised!"

The entire class gasped, astounded, as they looked at Severus.

Most of all, Spinner seemed surprised, even shocked. "Is this true, Mr. Snape?" he asked. "Are you Muggleborn?" A sneer seemed to come over his voice which, up until this point, had only been ecstatic when he talked about Severus.

"I'm half-blood." Severus answered dryly. "But I must agree with Black, I don't see how it matters."

Silently and dangerously, Spinner wandered the classroom before he stood above Severus, danger gleaming in his eyes as his thin lips pursed together. "Is either of your parents full-blood?"

"Does it really matter?" Severus asked sourly, staring darkly at Spinner.

"Just answer me!" Spinner demanded.

"My mother was," Severus almost barked, having difficulty keeping down his own boiling anger.

"Of which family, may I ask, did she come from?" he asked.

"The Prince family," Severus sneered.

"Oh." A new spark of interest found its way to Spinner's eyes and his mouth smirked lightly. "That's a good family. Too bad the name is dying out." Again, and without warning, a red light shot from Spinner's wand towards Lupin, who jumped out of the way and was a safe distance from the stunner as it passed him, looking shocked at Spinner. Spinner shrugged and turned around to face Severus again as if nothing had happened. "Good thing you're in Slytherin - your house is an indication that the good blood out rules the bad in you."

"Sir.," Severus frowned. "I still fail to see how my blood or my house has anything to do with how I do well in class."

Spinner looked slightly confused by that. "So you would rather be like all the rest?" he asked dangerously.

"I'd rather be judged on my own merits," Severus responded flatly.

Spinner once again broke into a grin. "And so you shall." Abruptly, he stood up straight and looked out in the classroom. "Class!" he demanded. "Get up and find a partner: we are practising deflecting spells today, and by the end of this class, I want you to do it as if it were a reflex!"

Stools fell everywhere as people stood up, and Severus was quick to grab Lupin. "You're with me," He said flatly. "You're quick and I really need to shoot something after all that, and against someone who I don't have to hold back against."

Lupin lifted an eyebrow. "What about Lily?" he asked.

"I don't want to hurt her." Severus smirked.

First Lupin looked shocked at him, and then he chuckled lightly. "But you're just fine about hurting me, right?" he chuckled, genuinely amused. "All right, you're right I am fast, and seeing as you're the one who said it, I'll take it as a compliment."

_He shouldn't have said 'yes so quickly_, thought Remus that evening as he sat down in the Gryffindor commons room. His entire body ached from all that dodging and running around, and truth be told, it was almost as bad as a morning after the full moon. When he had tried and shoot a hex at Snape, they had all been deflected with ease, not one coming close to the target at all. As for himself, well, Remus had begun to wonder if some of his robes or hair might have been hit, as he thought he could smell burned material. To top it off, his friends were both pissed off and confused.

"Moony, I don't understand where you stand!" James at last blurted after a long time, and Remus was made even more aware of the unbearable tension sitting among the Marauders.

"What do you mean?" Remus looked questioningly at his friend.

"I mean, what's up with Snape? Who are you with? Him or us?" James asked, and Sirius, who was sitting next to him, nodded emphatically, also looking very confused.

"You _are_ my friends," Remus stated. "You know we'll always be friends, right?" he asked.

James, Sirius and Peter nodded, although they seemed a bit too unsure for Remus's liking.

"It's just…I don't think you realise that you and Severus are actually on the same side," Remus swallowed. "You really just want the same things, and the only reason you fight is because your old pranks, perhaps it really is time to just stop?"

"He hates all who aren't pure-blooded Slytherin," Sirius spat. "He's just like my family; they are all the same."

"Yes, Slytherin might have that reputation, and I admit that I once thought he had that same mindset, but he seems to have really changed his mind," Remus tried to defend.

"Trust me, these people never change," Sirius muttered darkly.

"Not to be rude, but you did," Remus pointed out. "You are a Black after all."

Sirius turned uncomfortably away.

"And didn't you hear him today? He did say that he didn't think blood mattered any more," Remus continued, pointing out. "Professor Spinner was practically praising him for his family. The old Severus would have been proud, but…he just didn't care."

The three boys were silent for a while. "I hate it when you make so good sense," James muttered.

Again, there was just that terrible awkward silence among the four of them, loaded with tension that hadn't ever been there before.

Remus sighed, feeling exhausted. "This isn't just about Severus, is it?" he asked. "Come on, mates, spit it out."

The three boys looked uncomfortably at each other.

"It's stupid, really," James muttered a little embarrassed. "We shouldn't be thinking it. We should be happy for you, so I'm sorry."

Remus looked puzzled at his friends.

"It's just, you don't need us any more because you've got that new potion and everything," He breathed.

Remus blinked surprised. "But you're my friends," he replied, touched. "I still need you, so much." He took a breath. "I am still terrified of the full moon more than anything else, and I am not sure I would be able to face it if I were alone."

The boys looked, embarrassed, down in the ground.

"Please, don't act like that," Remus begged. "You are the best friends I've ever had or ever will have, and I don't know what I would do without you."

"Please don't turn this into a soap opera, Mooney," Sirius muttered.

"You started it." Remus smirked.

"Aw come here!" Sirius laughed as he lunged for Remus, drawing him into a head nudge.

"Padfoot, stop that!" Remus half-heartedly tried to push his friend away while he laughed.

"Keep going, Padfoot!" James laughed.

As did Peter. "Go Padfoot!"

When Remus finally got rid of Sirius, a smile had broken out on his face. "Speaking of which,I need to tell you guys something…just something I thought you ought to know."

"What?" Sirius asked, finding himself in a resting position on the floor.

"I'm afraid it's about Severus again," Remus sighed. "He knows of your Animagi forms."

"WHAT?" all three boys exclaimed simultaneously, staring wide eyed at Remus.

"How does he know?" James asked bewildered.. "And how do you know he knows?"

"He told me," Remus shrugged.

"Did you tell him?" Sirius asked.

Remus gave a hurt look at Sirius's direction. "Do you really think I would do anything like that?" he asked.

"No, I guess not." Sirius shook his head, embarrassed.

"But how could he have known?" Peter asked in a squeaky voice.

"I don't know," Remus shook his head. "He won't tell me."

"Do you know how long he's known?" James asked.

"Since the last school year, at least," Remus muttered.

James breathed in a staggered breath. "If he tells, I'm going to strangle him, and I don't care who's going to be mad at me."

"Prongs, easy," Remus calmed his friend down. "If he was going to tell he would have a long time ago."

As that fact hit the other Marauders, they stopped in their tracks, being absolutely stunned. "Why?" was the only word James managed to utter.

"So he can blackmail us?" Sirius asked, wondering.

"If he wanted that, he would have told you that he knew," Remus sighed, hating that he had to spell everything out to them.

Peter looked the most confused of them all, and that was not saying a lot. "What does he want, then?" He asked, a little frightened.

"Has it occurred to any of you that he doesn't want anything?" Remus asked. "He just wants to be left alone."

"Why did he attack me, then?" James pouted.

"You attacked him," Remus counter argued. "You placed that stink bomb at his desk and he threw it back to you. And then you threw hexes at him, and all he did was to protect himself without attempting to harm you."

"You're taking his side again!" James pointed out, astounded, but sounding annoyed.

"I'm not taking anyone's side," Remus frowned. "I am just stating the facts."

"Why did you team up with him then?" Sirius asked grumpily.

"Look, it was me or Lily and he wanted a challenge where he didn't have to hold back...or so he said."

Sirius chuckled. "You mean he wanted you to be his punching bag?"

"Actually yes." Remus also chuckled. "And I swear I will be sore for the next week."

James, at last, laughed, a little amused as well. "Then remember not to team up with him next week. I don't think it'll be good for the wolf if you're sore; it makes it grumpy."

Remus smirked as he shook his head. "Wolfsbane's potion, remember?" he asked. "It's not a problem any more, or at least I know that I am not going to tear you apart just because I am grumpy. At least, not until school's over." He wondered breathily if he should tell his friends that Severus was the creator of that potion too, But upon reflection, Remus realized that Severus didn't want that piece of information to get out, so he refrained from doing so.

"Oh yeah" Sirius brightened up. "That's cool, we are so going to do some real Maraudering next week!"

Remus face fell. "No matter what, I still bloody hate the full moon," he muttered. "I swear, even if a miracle happens and a cure is found, I'll hate it to the day I die."

His friends looked sympathetically at him. "Then I guess we'll just have to make the best out of it," James stated. "And we swore we would always be there at full moon, remember? I guess that also means when they somehow find a cure!" He beamed.

"Sounds awesome," Remus nodded.

"Imagine all that we can do now that we don't have to worry about your wolf's beast instincts!" Sirius seemed ecstatic. "We could scare some girls."

"Please, no," Remus pleaded. "We still don't know what will happen if something goes wrong with the potion or if I am really that stable. And I am still contagious you know, Lets just stay away from people for now, kay?"

"What ever you want, Mooney," James assured.

Remus supposed that James was sort of the unofficial leader of their gang: what he said usually went. And so far as group dynamics, James and Sirius – the two of them were like a pair, who were never seen without the other. Remus was sure if one lost the other, it would be like losing a twin sibling. Peter never questioned what James or Sirius were doing, and that only left Remus, who up until now also only rarely openly questioned their actions, starting to act like the responsible one, an older brother even, who mediated petty arguments.

But during the full moon, since his friends had started keeping him company in their animagi forms, it was clear that the wolf was the pack's leader. The Animagi attended to its every need and demands, keeping the wolf happy. It was a change of roles, really: James, in this instance, was the level-headed one, and Remus was the tyrannical leader. In any case, even if it weren't so, Remus trusted them enough to believe they wouldn't do something reckless, when it was so important to him personally – and so he nodded and gave his friends a reassuring smile.

"Oi, look! Evans is coming over!" James looked over Remus's shoulder as he ruffled his hair. "You think she's finally come to her senses?"

"If you means coming to accept your offer to become your girlfriend, you can keep dreaming," Sirius smirked.

Remus rolled his eyes as he turned around to see the redhead enough coming their way. "Hey, Lily," he greeted.

"Remus" she smiled sweetly, though totally ignoring the other Marauders. "Can I speak to you for a second?"

"Of course," Said Remus as he started to stand.

"How come you never put any good words in for me?" James muttered under his breath, only just loud enough so Remus could hear it.

"I do." Remus responded almost just as silently. "All the time, but you don't give me much to work with, with her."

James cast Remus a last sour look before Remus turned around to meet Lily. "What's up?" he asked.

"Well." Lily guided Remus away from the Marauders. "The younger Slytherin students are starting this wonderful project," Lily started.

At once, Remus was very intrigued. What could this possible be about?

"It's some of the Slytherins who don't support blood purity, and You-Know-Who and stuff, so they're starting a club of sorts that is going to work as a tutoring club. But, between you and me, it's really for socialising and strengthening both themselves and their relations with the other houses." She had to take a breath. "Severus and I are going to be there acting as tutors, and I had the idea that you might be interested in joining."

"I would be delighted," Remus smiled widely. "That sounds brilliant! Who's idea was it? Severus's?"

"Nope," Lily shook her head. "A Slytherin fourth-year named Penelope Pauperitt came up with the idea, and she's putting it all together."

"I shall have to talk to her." Remus at once stated. "It sounds like a brilliant idea."

"So you're in?"

"Absolutely!"

Lily hesitated a bit. "Though, could you be quiet about it to your friends? You know, since it's going to be mostly Slytherins in the club at first?" Lily looked begging at him. "It's for the sake of integrating these people into other houses, you know, give them a chance to prove for themselves that they are not all blood purists. And if they –" she gave a distasteful look towards the corner the other Marauders were – "were to prank them, they might even change their minds. Or they won't feel safe on either side…"

"They wont ruin it," Remus stated firmly. "I promise you! It's absolutely about time we gave the Slytherins a chance."

* * *

_This chapter have been beta read by Shegekei11  
_


	14. One thing to be proud of

It was Thursday evening. Severus had finished his dinner, and there was no delaying any more. There was one place he was supposed to be. He couldn't help but feel uncertain. Part of him just wanted to let it pass and spend his evening brewing potions instead, but he had promised, and besides, it did help to have Lily and Remus there to greet him and wander with him down the halls.

"What exactly are we supposed to do?" Lupin asked curiously. "I've brought some elementary books on Defence, Charms, Transfiguration, and so on."

"Honestly, I have no idea what that girl has in mind," Severus muttered. "I don't know if it's a social gathering, or a reading club, or something else."

"I think it's a great idea," Lily smiled, sweetly. "And it's nice that she's asking us. Maybe having Gryffindors come to them for once will make a difference."

"You're setting your hopes as high as she is," Severus commented dryly. "Please don't expect too much."

They turned a corner and came upon the meeting room. There was a warm light floating out from the crack under the door.

Hesitatingly, Severus pushed open the door. He was met by an inviting room. The tables were pushed away to the corners, so there was only one table left in the middle. Candles burned softly, cast a warm light. On the table were two pots of tea as well as a dozen tea cups and sweetly inviting fresh-baked cookies and brownies. If Severus had ever had proper birthday cake, he would have recognized the happy smell of candles and pastries. As a final touch, pillows were arranged cosily around the room. The mastermind herself was frolicking around with two other girls her own age and a single boy.

"Severus!" She lit up as he entered. "I'm so glad you came!" She became visibly nervous when she saw the two red-robed people behind him. "Hey," she muttered, looking up at Lily. "Urhmm… I'm Penelope Pauperitt, I'm so glad you wanted to come."

"Lily Evans, thank you for inviting me." Lily gave Penelope one of her sweet smiles as she reached a hand forward.

Penelope's face cracked into a smile, and though she took Lily's hand a little apprehensively, she shook it enthusiastically. "Thank you," Penelope almost whispered. "Thank you so much."

"Miss Pauperitt!" Remus burst. He had seemed on the edge ever since Severus had opened the door. "I'm so glad to meet you. The creator of such a thing!"

Penelope seemed slightly taken aback by Remus's enthusiasm. "It's nothing special," she blushed. "Honest, and it's Penelope." She shyly reached out her hand, trying her luck.

Remus grabbed it without hesitation and shook it firmly, a big smile on his face. "Remus Lupin, though of course you can just call me Remus, and what do you mean, 'It's nothing?' It takes much courage to reach out like this! And wisdom! Wisdom to see that it's needed. Why you must be the smartest and bravest person in school," he blabbered, still shaking her hand. Penelope's face was rapidly becoming bright red.

She finally managed to push some words past her lips. "I'm afraid you're a little early," she muttered, rescuing her hand. "We don't have many people here yet. You know, I don't think we Slytherins have ever met in such a large group before."

"That's all right," Remus beamed. "Who are your friends?"

The younger Slytherins were tugging away into a corner, eyeing Remus and Lily with apprehension. It was probably quite scary for young Slytherins to be caught in a room with two older Gryffindors, for they normally received nothing but hate and contempt from people in other houses.

"Oh." Penelope turned around. "This is Matthew Flint, from my own year - we are fourth years - Claire Goyle from fifth year, and Diane Diggory, also from fifth."

"Pleased to meet you all!" Remus bellowed.

Severus ignored Remus and cocked an eyebrow at the children. "Are you by any chance related to Geronimo Goyle?" he asked Claire.

"He's my big brother," she stammered.

Hmm, Geronimo Goyle, a death eater and father to Gregory Goyle, not to mention utter buffoon. Like her brother, Claire seemed to be built a little on the heavier side, but on her the girth didn't look so brutal. She looked nervous as she huddled with her house mates, but something about her features told Severus that she would be pretty if she dared to smile. The girl beside Claire was a handsome blonde girl with a firm jaw, and her name brought something to mind. "Amos Diggory is your elder brother, correct?"

Diane nodded. "But he graduated a long time ago, and he's way older than me so we don't speak much."

Severus nodded. "It wouldn't hurt to smile," Lily huffed in his ear.

He barely kept back his frown, but managed to force a little smile. "Pleased to met you all."

The Slytherins in the corner nodded with respect. Severus was surprised to see the admiration shining in their eyes as they looked at him.

"So..." Remus fidgeted. "Why don't we make ourselves comfortable?" He walked to a chair and then looked questioningly at Penelope. "You mind?" he asked.

"That's why it's there," Penelope smirked, a little amused despite her unease.

"Splendid." He sat down and reached for a cookie. "Penelope, you must tell me, do you enjoy wizard's chess? You strike me just as the type to be a good opponent."

Still obviously taken aback by all of Remus's friendly gestures, Penelope moved shyly toward the chair just beside Remus. He gestured for her to sit down, and she gave a little smile. "I like it," Penelope told him. "I think it sharpens the mind to play once in a while. It helps stimulate the intellect, if you understand what I mean."

Their gentle chatter continued, and slowly the other Slytherins, thawing, started to approach the table. They still eyed Remus and Lily with distrust, as if one of them were some kind of horrible beast that might decide to tear their guts out. Well, technically Lupin _was_ a beast, but why say anything to make them suspect?

Surprisingly, more Slytherins did show up: third, fourth and fifth years, even a single sixth year. The sixth year was one Jennifer Jugson, an average looking girl with short curly brown hair, a nose pointing just a little bit upwards (making her look both sweet and stubborn) and amber eyes as apprehensive as the others'. Severus had never taken the time to really sit down and talk to her, so he knew nothing about her. The person whom Severus was most surprised to see entering the room, looking as if he'd been dragged in against his will, was one Regulus Black.

The young Black's resemblance to his elder brother was remarkable. They had the same handsome facial structure, the same dark hair (although as Sirius grew his to shoulder length and Regulus had his considerably shorter), the same nose, the same eyes, the same mouth; other than the hairstyles, there was nothing to differentiate them but the fact that Regulus had a slimmer, more delicate, body. After the Slytherin was seated, there was a long awkward silence, broken only by Remus's constant blabbering and Lily's futile attempts at conversation. It was Regulus who finally spoke up. "Okay, I'm here. Why am I here, Penelope?" he yelled. His words were rude and confrontational, but most of the Slytherins nodded their heads.

Penelope cleared her throat as she stood up. She gathered her courage and held her head high as she faced all of them, her face fierce and determined. "We are here for a number of reasons," she declared. "We all, as Slytherins, have a great deal in common; we are all outsiders, both in the school, where the other houses scorn us, and in our own house, where we are not members of the one clique and so we are utterly trashed!" She looked around, at each of them in turn. "It's time we did something about it! About both problems. Our house is supposed to be like a family, so we should make it that way. All of us who now stand alone should bind together and stand together! Then we will be strong. Then those people who only live to trash others will have nothing on us, and," she took a deep breath, "we need to prove to the other houses that just because we are Slytherins doesn't mean that we're pricks!" Several girls giggled, while others looked mildly shocked. "We are proving that we can be strong without resorting to bullying, that we are in fact civilised and worthwhile, and that Slytherin is a good house!"

Admiration was growing in the Slytherins now, and it was more palpable than most forms of magic. Even Severus was starting to admire this girl, more and more.

"But how do you propose that we do that?" Diane Diggory snorted. "My brother won't even speak to me, just because I'm a Slytherin." Shocked by her slip, she covered her mouth and looked furtively around at the others.

"It's okay, mine neither," Regulus mumbled.

"Well," Penelope breathed, "we are not going to do it by hiding away in the corners, ashamed of our own opinions."

There was a murmur of agreement.

"For now, we need to talk, all of us." Penelope looked seriously at the Slytherins. "We need to learn to know each other, we need to stand together."

"What?" Jugson groaned. "Please don't tell me you want to make this some kind of sob session where we all moan about our problems!"

"Do you dare to sob out your problems to anyone?" Penelope asked. She turned to the rest of the group. "How many here feel that they have any friends in this school? Does anyone even feel like they are being listened to?"

There was an odd silence. Everyone looked warily at the others. Severus could only imagine what went through their heads, what would have gone through his own head had he really been sixteen. _You feel alone and abandoned too? Really?_ In a way, he was surprised even now, as he looked around at the Slytherins and realized that they all felt this way, just the way he'd felt at sixteen. Severus sighed. He really should have known. This isolation was why he had been such an easy target for Voldemort; he'd felt all alone and thought he needed to prove himself. And that's why so many others in here were easy targets too. They were all trapped in the same evil cycle. They spoke highly of Voldemort, even while deep down they thought something else, because that was what they were expected to do. And because none of them dared to speak out, none of them knew how many others shared their plight. And then… then the pressure made them go through and join him, pressure and their consuming desperation for acknowledgement. And by breaking this cycle… Severus had to hold his breath... well… they should start simply and just acknowledge each other and be honest about it.

"So," Penelope breathed. "We must start to listen to each other, we must talk."

"Then why are they here?" Matthew Flint asked suddenly, gesturing at Remus and Lily.

"If we just keep to ourselves, we only fulfil half our mission," Penelope explained. "By taking the first friendly step toward the other houses, the chances that they will accept us are much greater. If Evans and Lupin decide they like us, maybe even become friends with some of us, chances are the friendship will spread - slowly, but it will be there." She looked questioningly at Lily and Remus. "Right?" she asked.

Both Lily and Remus nodded at once, enthusiastically, big grins plastered on their faces. Those two had started to become quite the pair, Severus mused.

"Good." Penelope smiled as she sat down. "I am afraid we need to start from scratch. Let's all just say our names and one thing about ourselves we are really proud of and then one thing, anything, that bothers us."

"That's stupid," Matthew Flint muttered. Many seemed to agree.

"Just do as she says," Severus demanded, and then he looked at Penelope. "I think it's a good idea."

Penelope smiled. "Thank you Severus. I guess it's only fair that I start. My name is Penelope Pauperitt. I think that I am really good at drawing and I hate that everyone at school looks at my robe colour before they look at me."

"Urhm…" Diane Diggory, who was sitting right beside Penelope, fumbled for speech. "My name is Diane Diggory. I am really good on a broom and I am a really good chaser. It bothers me that my dad still seems disappointed that I got sorted into Slytherin."

"Regulus Black," Regulus breathed. "Definitely the best Seeker there is to be found at Hogwarts." A chuckle spread across the table. He took a breath and looked nervously around the table. "It bothers me that it sometimes seems like my family worries more about what prestige I can bring them than my well being."

Everyone took part, including Severus. "Severus Snape." He hesitated. He had to think of something he was proud of, but he could think of nothing. "I am good at potions, I suppose," he muttered.

"Oh, stop being modest! You're the best of your generation," Remus injected.

Severus shot the werewolf a look. "It bothers me" - his mind was strangely blank - "that Professor Spinner keeps insisting that what my house is and who my grandfather happens to be are more important than how I perform in class." He was satisfied with that answer, because it coincided with theme of the meeting.

"Lily Evans," Lily smiled. "I am great at inventing charms for any occasion, and it bothers me so much that we didn't do this before." Everyone laughed.

"Remus Lupin," Remus grinned. "I seem to have a flair for magical animals and dark creatures, you might call me an expert really. What really bothers me more than anything else is how people look at my name before they look at me." He regarded them gravely. "I'm afraid I can't tell you why, my dad and all, but I am in the same boat as many of you."

A lot of the Slytherins were clearly intrigued. Lupin merely shrugged, smiling at them innocently. Taking quite a risk there, aren't you Lupin? Severus had to demand in his mind.

The round had finished, and talk broke loose everywhere. The thing that bothered most of the Slytherins… well suffice to say that their grievances seemed almost identical, and so they all found at once that they had something in common. The instant connection was amazing to witness. Penelope was charmingly delighted; she clapped her hands as she ran around the table and pillows. No one sat alone, for suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, everyone wanted to ask each other about the things they were proud of and the things that bothered them, the horrible experiences to which they could all relate.

"It's incredible what can happen if you just bother to reach out," Lily whispered happily in Severus's ear. "I think in reality everyone wants to listen and be listened to, they just don't always dare to try."

Severus was embarrassingly aware of the feel of her warm breath on his ear and neck and the lavender smell of her fiery red hair. "Yes," he answered nervously. "It's the rare person who truly wants to be alone."

Lily's head fell askew as she rested it on Severus's shoulder, making the smell of lavender even stronger. "It makes you wonder why so many people are alone," she said.

"It does," Severus admitted. "Humans really are social animals, aren't we?"

Lily nodded drowsily.

"The trouble, I think, is that we are far too self-aware."

"I guess," she muttered. "Stop being so philosophical."

"You started it."

"Yeah, but I didn't expect you to continue."

Severus chuckled at her annoyance.

"Where did you get these?" Regulus was asking Penelope, as he chewed on a brownie. "These are great."

"The house elves in the kitchen," Penelope giggled. "They love helping out when you ask."

"House elves?" That sparked Regulus's interest at once. "You know where they are?"

"I can show you," Penelope answered warmly. "How about tomorrow?"

"Deal!"

Severus shook his head at the fourteen-year-old girl. How could she have possibly actually pulled this off? Looking at the smiling faces, Severus somehow did not doubt that every single one would meet up again next week. The Slytherins would not dare to talk this freely in their own common room; they would feel ashamed about fooling around in front of the big _"true pureblood Slytherins." _If they tried, they would end up being reprimanded, even bullied, by their own house. In Slytherin, there were only three options: be a bully, be a follower, or be bullied. Being childish was a crime.

It was almost curfew, and they had to walk back to their common rooms. Penelope fell into step beside Severus. "Thank you!" she exclaimed, beaming.

"No need." Severus waved her off. "You really didn't need me for this, Penelope, it was all you."

"Honestly, I couldn't have done it without you," Penelope insisted, tugging on a sleeve of his robe. "Last year when you stood up to Malfoy, you inspired me, and I thought if we could just use that as an example… I wouldn't have done this if you hadn't stood up to him and I wouldn't have done it if you'd said that it was a bad idea."

Severus stared at her, stunned. His changed behaviour had caused her outburst of brilliance? Now he knew what he was most proud of: being partially responsible for bringing the best out in this girl. It was indeed remarkable. "You're welcome," he whispered after a moment, his voice cracked.

She smiled sweetly at him, and for a moment she reminded him of Lily. "Can I count on you next week?"

"Of course."

"And Remus and Lily?"

"I don't believe you will be able to keep them away."

"Brilliant!" They entered the common room, and the group immediately spread out so that nothing would seem suspicious. Penelope yawned and stretched her arms. "Night Severus, see you tomorrow."

As he lay in bed, waiting for sleep, Severus reflected on the day. Frankly, this meeting was one of the most illuminating things Severus had ever experienced, in either this life or the life before. He had never sought camaraderie instead of solitude; he had always done things alone. But if this was any indication, and Severus was sure it was, then it was true that if you approached people most were happy to get to know you. Most people wanted to belong somewhere. In fact, people could be desperate to find a way to belong. When he was sixteen, he had thought joining the death eaters would somehow make him belong. It didn't. This little fourteen-year-old girl genuinely worked to make sure the Slytherins felt like they belonged somewhere other than the death eaters. Severus was proud to be a part of that, much prouder than he was of his skills in potions, prodigious though they may be. And one thing bothered him a lot more than Professor Spinner. It bothered him that it had never even occurred to him to view things this way before.

* * *

_This chapter have been beta read by the wonderful Magesa. _


	15. The Phoenix Fighters

Severus had no idea if Penelope was mad or a genius. Perhaps a mad genius? As he had suspected, people really did meet up once again the next Thursday. This time Lily brought a friend from Ravenclaw, who, though at first a little hesitant, needed only to greet Penelope and be greeted in return to accept the challenge with a smile. This time Penelope sat up a game, a more advanced sort of exploding snap. There were rounds and tapping and teams which cheered wildly for each other. As before, many were reluctant to join in at first, but it didn't take long before the entire room was filled with laughter. Even Severus participated. This was possibly the first time he had ever in his life felt like a child. He knew he must look like a bumbling fool and a total idiot, but even so he somehow found himself running around, and for crying out loud, laughing! He was actually laughing, especially when he fell down and, reaching to catch himself on whatever was nearest, happened to grab Lily; they tumbled over each other, to the cheer of all the others. He had no idea how he had come to this. The joy in the room, the laughs and genuinely welcoming eyes, must have just been too smothering.

The outsiders had found their safe place, a place where they were wanted. It was found in a unused classroom by a fourteen-year-old girl, and it was utterly amazing. However, as curfew drew nearer the zenith of their happiness plummeted to somewhere beneath the floor. As of yet their sudden acceptance of each other did not apply outside of the room. They were still walking around muttering to themselves, not daring to seek each other out or speak openly about their scathing views on blood purity or "good" ancestry. It was all due to fear, fear of being bullied by those few powerful and ruthless Slytherins.

However, Severus did not fail to notice how the new friends snuck around together in hidden corners. Penelope and Regulus had spend at least a whole evening together outside of the meeting room and Jugson had started greeting Severus whenever they met up together for Charms or Defence Against the Dark Arts. She also bade him good morning when they happened to meet in the common room in the morning. He had even caught her winking at Lily in the hallway, and Lily confessed that they had teamed up together in Herbology.

"I've never seen you this happy," Lily observed, chuckling lightly, as she and Severus walked together by the lake, enjoying one of the last warm evenings of the summer.

"I've never been this happy," Severus confessed. It was true. For the first time - ever, really - he felt at ease with himself and his situation. He really did make a difference; he deserved to be met with, and better yet _was _met with, respectful gazes, not only from Lily, but from Remus and people in his own house. He really did make a difference. In light of this realization other things seemed less annoying and pressing. For the first time he genuinely felt worthwhile, as if he were worth something.

"It suits you," Lily commented.

"Hah!" Severus smirked. "Like anything will ever make this picture any more appealing." He gestured at himself.

"Well, I don't know." Lily stopped and looked Severus up and down. "Happy people are attractive people you know. Let's see… tall and slim, that's a big plus." She measured him with her eyes before commenting dryly, "…but still too thin." She cocked her head. "There _is_ a sort of foreign, mysterious theme going on here," she mused, lifting one of his black bangs with her finger, before walking around him in a circle, making Severus almost twirl around to keep following her with his eyes. "That's also a nice thing. Girls like foreign and mysterious." She stopped right in front of him and looked him straight in the eye. "Why Sev, I believe you're an eight."

"Eight?" Severus asked, dumbfounded.

"You know, in a scale where one is horrific and ten is perfection."

"You measure all guys like that?" His tone was no less discombobulated than before.

"Sure," Lily grinned. "It's a game. Remus is a six, Potter is a seven, Averys is definitely a one."

Understanding dawned, and Severus chuckled, amused.

"What do you think I am?" Lily asked then, her arms enthusiastically spread wide to welcome his answer.

"Definitely ten," Severus insisted without hesitation.

Lily pouted. "You only say that because that's what you're supposed to say. Be honest."

Severus shook his head, bemused. "I am being honest. You're neither too tall nor too small, and you've got the best smile in the world, and that gorgeous hair, and the most attractive eyes I have ever-" Severus halted himself abruptly and turned away. What an embarrassing slip!

Lily's face had flushed so badly that it was now a colour that almost matched her hair, but she was smiling widely as she looked down at the ground. "You're too nice to me, Sev," she murmured. A mischievous spark glittered in her eyes as she shyly tiptoed closer and planted a kiss on Severus's cheek.

Stunned, Severus traced a hand over his cheek where she'd kissed him, gazing wonderingly at the redhead before him.

"That's for not pointing out that my face is too round," she said, cheekily.

"I think your face is perfect," he uttered without thinking.

"Cheek." Lily's eyebrows fluttered up and down.

Severus had no idea what to do or say next; his mind was stunned into a paralyzing halt. Quite frankly, he felt rather stupid and had the strangest urge to run away. At the same time he desperately wanted to know where this could go.

But he stood still for too long, and Lily just laughed at him and started walking again. He could see that she was blushing lightly too. Severus's confusion was overwhelming, and for once seeing Lupin was a welcome escape.

Remus was sitting all alone on a tree stump, gazing vacantly out over the lake. Severus had not seen Remus this ill and pale since his previous life; Remus's entire body was sunken together in exhaustion and his eyes were eerily unseeing. The full moon had been the night before. At least he was up and walking around.

"Hey Remus!" Lily was almost too quick to greet the werewolf.

Remus startled, blinking a couple of times in their direction before he realised who it was. "Oh hi, Lily, Severus," he greeted faintly.

"Where are your friends?" Severus peered suspiciously around them as he if suspected an ambush from behind the bushes.

"The castle, I suppose." Remus lifted an eyebrow but his smile was still faint and exhausted. "I just needed to be alone for a bit. Severus, I will never be able to thank you enough for that potion; it's a life saver."

"Please don't mention it," Severus insisted.

Remus looked away from them and sighed deeply. "Have you read today's _Daily Prophet_?" he asked.

"No," Severus retorted shortly. "That paper is pure hogwash and propaganda."

"I know. But it's the propaganda that people read and believe. Here, catch." Remus threw a newspaper to Severus. "Page 3."

Severus opened the newspaper to the page instructed and was met by a large picture of shabby people who all seemed like they were about the rip the photographer apart. It was really an unfortunate picture, and to top it all off there was a picture of angry wolves just beside it. Severus was knowledgeable enough about werewolves to know that the picture was just of ordinary wolves, but most would not know that.

_**Werewolves Enraged, Won't Listen to Common Sense**_

_A little over a month ago the revolutionary Wolfsbane potion was tested and deemed safe for all Werewolves. It's a simple potion that ensures that werewolves remain in control doing the course of their bestial transformations. In light of this discovery, the ministry has decreed that all werewolves must now take the potion before every transformation. Yet many unfortunate associates of werewolves have recently contacted the ministry to report that werewolves have not been taking the potion as required. _

"_I am shocked," exclaimed Charlotte Jolie, a botanic witch and mother of two. "I had thought my children would at last be safe from the dreadful beast across our hill. Imagine my surprise when I heard the news! I know he tries to live in a secluded way, but that is hardly an excuse for not taking any and all extra precautions. Every full moon I live in fear for the well-being my children. I have to ship them to their grandmother, on the other side of the country, just to be safe. But what about all the muggles who don't know what he is? I have this neighbour who is the nicest gentleman doctor with three kids. They are just not safe." _

"_I, for one, am not surprised," asserted Dolores Umbridge, Head of the Department of Magical Creatures in the Ministry of Magic. "Werewolves are indeed beasts, and as such they lack human intellect. Truly, many of them must feel robbed of their opportunity to showcase their true colours once a month. We must not forget that magical creatures are just that – creatures – who must be kept under control at all times and be handled with extreme caution. If werewolves continue this beastly behaviour, it may become necessary to start exterminating the vile breed..." _

Severus could not bear to read anymore. He crumpled the newspaper between his hands and hissed through his teeth.

"Hey, let me finish that," Lily, who had been reading over his shoulder, demanded. Severus just thrust the crumpled newspaper at Lily, who struggled to flatten it out for a moment before she could continue reading. As she read her face grew paler and paler. "That horrible bitch!" she spat. "What a tramp! How can she say something like this? How can the ministry go along? What the hell _is_ this?"

Severus was really and truly furious. Why couldn't anything he did work out for the best? Why should a gesture simply intended to make the school a little safer fly out of his control and transform into something so horrific?

Remus just looked out over the lake again, lost.

Lily took in a breath. "Remus, are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine." Remus shrugged but didn't meet her eyes. "I am the lucky one."

"If you aren't careful, you won't continue to be the lucky one," Severus muttered bitterly. "When a group of werewolves works for the Dark Lord, as they will, people's fear and disgust only increase. Umbridge will only need this little reason to start using ministry force to really exterminate werewolves." Severus scowled at the air. "I'm sorry I made that potion. It was not meant to lead to this."

"Don't be," Remus said at once. "That potion is a good thing. It's a blessing and it will turn out for the best in the end."

"Of course it will." Lily leaned against Severus, wrapping an arm around him. "Just don't get all grumpy about it all day. I thought we were finally getting somewhere with you."

Suddenly a new light came over Remus's eyes and a genuinely amused smirk fought its way onto his morose face. "Oh, James is going to be so mad now."

"What?" Severus asked.

"Nothing." Remus turned around.

Lily was resting her head on Severus's shoulder and wrapping her arm reassuringly around Severus's waist as if she did this all the time. As he leaned into her embrace, Severus pondered Lupin's strange behaviour. He really had no idea what Lupin could hinting at.

Defence Against the Dark Arts class was a decidedly mixed bag, as far as Severus was concerned. On the one hand it was his favourite subject, both because of the subject matter itself and because he could observe, with no charge attached, the continual assault on the Marauders. On the other hand he hated, and was deeply suspicious of, Professor Spinner. It did not help that Spinner was constantly trying to sweet-talk Severus, lionizing him every class, even continuously pontificating about the pride of the house of Slytherin and how proud Severus should be to call himself heir of the Prince estate. It was actually quite bothersome, the worst part being that Severus knew very well that he would have been floating away in pride had he really been sixteen. He was ashamed by that, to say the least.

Today's class was again a strange mixture of highs and lows. Severus got to spend the entire day demonstrating duelling technique by way of the wonderfully effective and simple method of shooting hexes at the other students at random. Marvellous! On the other hand, Spinner was far too happy about it and hovered an inch behind Severus's shoulder for the entire class.

As the class ended Severus found with dread that he was held back in class.

"Mr. Snape." Spinner bared his sharp grin when the classroom was finally empty.

"Sir," Severus barely managed to mutter under his breath.

"Why are you so apprehensive around me, my dear boy?" Spinner almost looked disappointed, but his emotion was clearly feigned. "I only want the best for you, really."

Severus just stared emotionlessly at him.

"Why, Mr. Snape, it's like you don't trust me!" Spinner's façade of shock was laughably thin. "And I am so proud of you. Why, I can only be proud to call such a specimen my student." He circled around Severus like a predator. "You are meant for so much greatness, so many big things. You can have it all, you _will _have it all, if only you're smart." He placed his hands on Severus's shoulders as he stood behind him, whispering into Severus's ear; Severus could feel the man's foul breath running down his spine. "I can help you, I can give you all the greatness that you deserve, all the power you can have!"

Severus didn't even flinch. He didn't feel the least bit tempted.

Spinner swirled around to stand face to face with Severus. "It's that mudblood isn't it?" he spat with a sour frown around his mouth. "She's spoiling you, making you weak."

For the first time anger, boiling anger, broke within Severus. He stared sourly at Spinner's gray eyes.

Spinner broke into a grin, his teeth looking sharper than ever. "Break loose from her, dear Severus, it will make you strong. Don't you want power? I know someone who will be happy to give you all the power in the world, if you are willing to do a little work. Merely a little service."

Severus's eyes widened slightly. Was this really happening? Was he being recruited as a Death Eater early?

Spinner, who seemed to have gotten the wrong idea, grinned as widely as the Chesire cat. "That's right, all the power you can imagine, and all for nothing."

Severus squeezed his eyes shut again. He still did not say a word.

"Just do what is right. Choose your friend, probably," Spinner smirked, and then shook his head. "Do what is _right, _Severus. Do what your blood and house and talent want you to do. Be the greatest wizard of your generation."

Severus was truly furious. He sent all that fury at Spinner with a single chilling gaze and the most hostile sneer that had ever graced his face. "I'll never join Voldemort!" he stated clearly.

Spinner stumbled back. "How dare you speak the Dark Lord's name?" Spinner spluttered, pointing an accusing finger at Snape. "How dare you!" Spinner's screech sounded like nails scratching a chalkboard, and yet Severus still didn't flinch.

"And I choose my own friends," Severus sneered. "They give me more strength than anything you could ever offer! Much more strength than anything Voldemort could ever offer!"

Spinner suddenly held both hands against his ears and hummed in his repulsive high-pitched voice in a desperate effort to ignore Severus's words.

Severus grabbed Spinner's arms, wrestled them down, and brutally forced Spinner to look at him. "Your kind is going down," Severus whispered. "I am already the most powerful wizard of my generation, and my friends are stronger than all the Death Eaters, werewolves, giants, vampires and dementors combined. Your precious Voldemort is already as good as dead."

"LIAR!" Spinner screeched, so loudly that his voice sent waves through the classroom and must surely have been heard throughout the hallways. "Voldemort is power! THERE IS ONLY POWER!"

"VOLDEMORT IS NOTHING!" Severus roared. He dropped Spinner's arms, turned away, and left the room in silence without saying another word, without ever looking back.

Only as he exited the room did he realise that this was the first time he had said that name out loud. It was the first time he had referred to the man without being afraid. He was still not afraid. "Voldemort," Severus whispered. "Tom Marvolo Riddle." Now it didn't sound scary at all. It sounded pathetic.

Thursday evening, in the old classroom, there were all-in-all ten Slytherins, three Gryffindors, two Ravenclaws, and two Hufflepuffs; it was a good number. Severus asked for their attention as he stood up.

"I want to ask you: how many of you has Professor Spinner offered the chance of power?" he asked. Some Slytherin hands tentatively reached up.

"I want to make something clear right now," Severus stated firmly. "It's a lie, don't even try and listen to him!" Severus took a composing breath. "Professor Spinner is a Death Eater. He is trying to recruit you into service for Voldemort." Severus pressed on as if he hadn't heard their gasps or noticed their wide-eyed stares. "I know many of you are tempted to do just that, and I know you all have your reasons, but listen to me: whatever ideas you harbour about the honour and personal glory of serving Voldemort are absolutely wrong!"

There was dead silence in the room. Everyone's eyes were fixed on Severus. The tension was palpable.

"He might promise greatness, he might promise acknowledgement, he might promise respect, but it's all a bloody lie! This is how he is, he works alone! His servants are just that – servants -who have no value other than their mindless service. He has no qualms about killing or torturing his own servants should he feel like it. Voldemort is soulless. He kills you even though you grovel. He'll kill your child, your family - there is no mercy, in his world there is only him. He promises power, but he can offer none because he is nothing." Severus took a breath. "Voldemort is nothing."

Everyone stared wearily at Severus. At last, Regulus nervously spoke. "How do you know? How can you be sure?"

"Because I've seen it," Severus said seriously. "I've been close, last summer… well, I suppose all of you must know about my… outburst." The students exchanged uncomfortable looks.

"I admit it," Severus said to the room. "I once planned on joining him, but he cannot offer me what I want, only what I abhor. However." Severus looked across the room. "In the last couple of weeks I discovered that _you _have what I want. Wecan bring each other greatness." This comment clearly confused the students, but they gave Severus their full and rapt attention.

"There is a war going on out there," Severus declared. "There are only two sides - Voldemort and everyone else - because Voldemort fights for no one but himself. To pick his side would be a mistake no matter the circumstances. Sooner or later people will realise that and turn away from him, but not before having made horrific mistakes, and maybe even died. That is just foolish. We are better than that. We are strongest when we stand together. Starting today, we begin training for the war. It would be foolish to only take Spinner's lessons - it would leave no surprises for Voldemort - and training together will strengthen our unity considerably. We must learn to cooperate." Severus paused and gazed fiercely at each of them. "Who is with me?"

The students, shocked, stared at Severus and then at each other.

"I am with you!" Lily exclaimed at once. She rose swiftly and placed herself beside Severus.

"Me too," Remus declared without hesitation, and he stood next to Lily.

"I am definitely with you." Penelope stood up and placed herself next to Remus, standing close to him.

"Hell yeah, if I want to stand together with you people!" Diane Diggory sprung up to stand beside Penelope.

"Me too!" A third-year Slytherin boy joined them.

More and more agreed loudly as they stood up and placed themselves in the group. Even the guests from the other houses came hesitatingly into the group. One of the last to join was Regulus. "Like I have anything better to do," he muttered as he finally stood up.

At last, everyone was standing with Severus, and even though he still saw the possibility of some of these kids becoming Death Eaters he could not help but feel a certain sense of pride and hope filling his chest. At least now he had done something.

"We should give ourselves a name," Penelope declared.

"Why?" Severus lifted an eyebrow at her.

"Unity and all that." She smiled innocently. "It'll give us unity, but it should be something that reflects what we stand for, that we are open to everyone! We accept everyone and don't pick on anyone, isn't that right?"

Severus nodded.

"We are the place for a second chance," she stated firmly.

Several Slytherins were smiling sheepishly, but their faces were hopeful. Severus wracked his brain for a proper name, any kind of name.

"How about the Phoenix Fighters?" the Ravenclaw girl suddenly suggested. "The Phoenix is a bird which rises from the ashes to fight stronger."

"That's a great idea!" Penelope beamed. Severus was not so sure, but then, none of these people had heard (for good reasons) that the Order of the Phoenix even existed.

"Then it's settled," Remus smiled. "We are the Phoenix Fighters."

"Everybody take each others' hands," Lily instructed. "Let's stand in a circle."

Without much hesitation everyone formed a circle. "We are the Phoenix Fighters," Lily told the circle in a solemn, important tone. "We are the one place where everyone is welcomed with open arms; we are the one place where contests, bullies, and cliques aren't tolerated. We stand together, and we are building to a future in which we will all fight the good fight." A gleam sparked in her eyes. "Everyone repeat after me: we are the Phoenix Fighters!"

"We are the Phoenix Fighters!" everyone repeated.

"Louder! We are the Phoenix Fighters!"

"We are the Phoenix Fighters!"

"WE ARE THE PHOENIX FIGHTERS!"

"**WE ARE THE PHOENIX FIGHTERS!"**Everybody shouted in delight simultaneously, pride sparkling in all of the young faces. A real sense of hope and belonging was spreading through the Slytherins, all of them.

* * *

_This chapter have been beta read by Magesa. _


	16. A shrewd confrontation

You could say a great many things about James Potter.

You could say that he was rash, mischievous, rude, or immature. But you could not say that he was stupid.

On those rare occasions when James did decide to use that very special organ called a brain, he found the mysterious specimen in his head capable of shrewd insights and of examining a situation from a great many angles.

However, when he allowed himself to use that brain, there were certain distractions. A very specific fiery red-haired girl was indeed one major distraction; sweetly and insidiously, she kept his brain from working properly. There was so much confounding James's brain these days; he simply could not make sense of it all. He found himself forced to sit down and try to use his brain the way it was supposed to be used. He had to sit down and reflect, without any distractions.

That also meant for once parting ways with his best friend, at least for a little while. The two of them were never apart, so it took a little persuasion and determination to get Sirius to leave. Sirius would have been a distraction; James already knew how his friend felt about this issue. Sirius always had the best intentions, and he tried not to be prejudiced - he often pronounced that everyone, regardless of background, should be allowed the same advantages - but there was a difference between merely saying something and actually acting on the words. Sirius could sometimes be unnecessarily cruel to the people he had already decided to hate. That select group included every single Slytherin student in school. James had condoned Sirius's behaviour in the past, even enjoyed it. When the Slytherins were bit back, it became a war. Honestly, James had no idea who had started the enmity between the Marauders and the Slytherins, but sitting here, detached from Sirius, he had to admit both parts were equally guilty in keeping the fire raging. However, at the end of last year, Slytherins had seemed to cross the border from petty bullying to downright cruelty, showcasing dark magic and whispering their admiration for Voldemort. Snape, especially, had spewed threats and hinted that he stood with Voldemort, asserting that James would pay for being a blood traitor eventually. James felt his hate for the sleeshy Slytherin flare. The worst thing, the worst thing was the beautiful, fiery girl who kept defending the slimy bastard.

A slimy bastard he was indeed. A tiny voice in James's head suggested that maybe James and Sirius had pushed him in that direction. The incident at the Whomping Willow, when Snape had almost been killed, undoubtedly didn't help. Sure enough, Snape had been more a twat than ever after that. But ultimately, it hadto have been Snape's choice to be such a git, to be cruel to people from other houses, to grovel in the shadows of the bigger and more powerful Slytherins while sleeshing up to their demands and proudly announcing his love for dark arts and everything Voldemort stood for. And then, without warning… it had stopped.

It was not a long transition, it was not after a dramatic battle or a great loss. No, it was without any reason or explanation. It had all happened on one ordinary day. It simply stopped.

One morning Snape had furiously threatened James and Black with the powers of dark arts and promised that they would pay; the next day, he swore loudly to the world, while sobbing uncontrollably, that he could change.

James really tried to look at this from an outsider's perspective, he really did, but he couldn't help but be apprehensive about Snape. It just didn't add up. After the incident, James had at first, extraordinarily confused, simply let it rest. He had supposed Snape would show his true colours sooner or later. Then Snape had done nothing but spend all his time with the green eyed little jinx, and it hurt James, it hurt him so badly. He'd concluded that the sleeshy snake must've tried to trick her. It was still a possibility in James's mind, it was a reasonable explanation, and it hurt so bad, so very bad to see her prancing playfully with that serpent, but no… no… he couldn't think of that. He could not let that hot-tempered girl melt his brain, no matter how much heart ached to dwell on her.

He had been beyond shocked the day he saw Snape at the Ministry. There he was, standing with Lily as if they belonged together, wearing muggle clothes that looked old and worn-out, and worst of all, visiting a little girl. One would have had to be heartless to hate him in that moment. This Snape was absolutely nothing like the Severus Snape James knew. The truth of the matter was that this new Snape seemed to James to be an entirely different person than the Snivellus of old.

James bit his lip and swallowed. Thoughts like that were stupid. Of course it was the same person… or was it?

James abandoned the thought as another aspect of the dilemma battled to the forefront of his mind. Remus. He had ended up spending the last half of summer vacation with Snape instead of with the Marauders, and it seemed like Remus and Snape had somehow… bonded.

Every time James admitted this to himself, he felt like he'd been slapped. Watching Remus speak casually with Snape was confusing beyond all measure. James knew Remus, trusted Remus; they were friends, and they still spent most of their time together. But seeing Remus walking over and greeting Snape often still felt like betrayal; in fact, it almost always did. Normally James would always have their werewolf secret to cling on to, knowing that the secret was something special no one else knew, something that Remus would never tell anyone else, but now Snape and Lily knew too, and Remus seemed friendly with both of them. Snape even knew about their Animagi. It all felt very much like a violation of his personal space.

And the worst part: Snape hadn't even done anything since last year!

James had been waiting for it, waiting with great patience, waiting for Snape to make a mistake. Which just didn't come.

Instead it seemed like Snape and Lily were growing ever closer and Remus ever friendlier towards Snape all the time.

It had to be a trick, it simply had to be. There was no way Snape could change so abruptly. The weird part was that Snape didn't seem to be the only one. Though there were still some Slytherins harassing other students, the number of bullies had decreased considerably - to only a handful, really. The other Slytherins just seemed to have lost interest. Something funny was going on. Something very funny. Something that just could not be good.

James tried to gather all this information unfeelingly. It was very hard, where Lily and Remus were concerned, to remain detached. But that was why he had secluded himself, to think with distractions. Stop taking it all so personally! he chided himself.

After analyzing the problem for some time, he arrived at three possible explanations for Snape's strange behaviour.

A: Snape really had changed for the better. Lily was able to see that and had therefore forgiven him, Remus could see that and was therefore friendly, and Snape might even had made the other Slytherins start behaving better by way of his shining example.

B: Snape was only pretending to have changed. He had convinced Lily he had changed, and was trying to ease her into the thinking fondly of dark wizards. Snape had decided to use his silver tongue to get as many people on his side as possible. He might even be collecting other Slytherins, who, now working in silence, were much more dangerous than before. And the sudden improved cleverness of Severus's devious methods could be attributed to taking instructions from someone superior, someone with a detached, cold mind… someone like Voldemort…

C: It was not Snape walking the grounds of Hogwarts, but rather someone pretending to be Snape. The only conceivable reason to go through all the bother of impersonating Snape would be, again, to surreptitiously recruit Slytherins to Voldemort's service. The impersonator might even be targeting Dumbledore, James mused, though he had to admit that he had absolutely no evidence for this idea. Then again, competent Death Eaters were certainly capable of planning an absolutely unexpected attack, weren't they?

James next considered the weaknesses of each theory.

A: Even though both Lily and Remus claimed that Severus had changed, this explanation irked James. It just did not make any sense! People don't change their minds that abruptly. People don't shift from being aggressive to defensive, dark to light, overnight! People don't, in a matter of days, transform from being terrified of werewolves and wanting their extermination to supporting a werewolf girl during a terrifying drug trial. It was a loud of hogwash and it didn't make any goddamned sense!

B: This trickery seemed plausible on the surface, but it still didn't add up. James knew Snape - keep your friends close but your enemies closer – and if Snape had gotten such an important mission, there was no way he wouldn't let some sort of bragging slip. It also left the incident with the little girl in the summer vacation unexplained. And then there was Snape's reactions toward Professor Spinner: cold hate, despite Spinner praising Snape every chance he got. It could be because of an old quarrel, but Snape had never met Spinner before this year, so that didn't make any sense.

C: This possibility explained a lot of flaws in option B. If this person weren't Snape, he wouldn't have any old feuds with the Marauders, and therefore would be able to keep a cold head and not start bragging or hinting about Voldemort in the open. It could explain the coldness towards Professor Spinner, as whoever impersonated Snape could have any kind of old battles going on with all sorts of people. It would also explain the summer vacation, as the impersonator could have all sorts of relations that James knew nothing about – hell, that could have been his daughter that he was visiting! But it still left one thing unexplained. Why would the impersonator pursue Snape's private interests? Like being friends with Lily? It could be because she was a very clever and powerful witch, and he wanted to brainwash her and recruit her. A soft-spot for werewolves could explain Remus.

The more James thought about it, the more option C seemed like the right one. A cold stirring swirled through James. The impersonator had to be really dangerous. James simply could not allow him to spend any more time with Lily or Remus than necessary. He had to do something. And now that he had figured it all out, he had to do it immediately. James grabbed his invisibility cloak and the Marauders' map and ran down to the Gryffindor common room, where he grabbed Sirius and Pettigrew roughly.

"Mate, what is it?" Sirius asked, concern filling his face when he saw the look on James's face.

"We need to find Snape," James hissed.

"Why? Is something wrong?" A moment ago, Sirius had been splayed languidly on the couch, but now he was sharp and alert. Peter, on the other hand, only looked cowed. "Should we go get Moony?" Sirius asked.

"No!" James snapped, probably a little to sharply, judging by the shocked looks on Sirius's and Pettigrew's faces.

"No," James repeated in a lower voice. "Remus thinks that he's become friends with Snape."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked. "James, what is it?"

"That person, walking down there." James hesitated. "That is not Snape. I'm sure of it."

Sirius drew in a sharp breath. "Who do you reckon it is, then?" Sirius asked seriously, though it didn't seemed like he was doubting James.

"I don't know," James breathed. "But we need to find out. It can't be good."

"What do we do?" Peter asked a little nervously, his watering eyes festooned on James.

"What can we do?" James asked, slight sarcasm in his voice. "Follow him, wait till he is alone, cast _revealo_ in him."

"What if we make him drink some veritaserum?" Sirius then asked. "_Revealo_ might not work, but veritaserum always does."

"Brilliant idea, Pad," James exclaimed, and clapped once. "Wormtail." James looked down at Peter. "You think you'll be able to snatch some?"

"I'll try." Peter nodded.

"Good. Here Pad, you take the map and find Snape. Contact us with the two-ways mirror. I'll take Wormy and the invisibility cloak."

Sirius hesitated a bit as he looked down at the map. "James," he said, a little hesitatingly. "The map does say Severus Snape. You know the map never lies, and polyjuice potion can't trick it."

"Look, this impersonator is a very powerful wizard," James told Sirius. "Maybe it's even someone possessing Snape. Honestly, I can't tell for sure, but I _know_ that that isn't Snape."

"You think he might be under _imperius_?" Sirius suggested.

"Maybe." James hesitated. "Which just gives us all the more reason to get him. That would mean somebody on the school grounds is casting the curse."

"Agreed." Sirius nodded. "I guess I'll see you in a hour or so." He nodded again and skimmed the map. "He's outside. See you!" he called, and walked out.

"Come on Wormtail," James instructed as they followed Sirius out the portrait hole. When they were on the other side they looked carefully in both directions to make sure they were alone before Peter transformed himself into a rat. James picked Peter up and put him in his pocket. He threw the invisibility cloak around himself and headed toward the dungeons.

Once they had finally descended into the damp dungeons, James retrieved Peter from his pocket and tiptoed to place the rat in one of the many cracks in the aging stone wall. James stationed himself in front of the potions classroom door. He didn't have to wait for very long before two soft knocks announced that Peter had completed the task. James returned the knocks to signal that the coast was clear, and was rewarded as, with a soft click, the door opened to reveal Peter with a little vial of clear potion in his hands. James accepted it and Peter transformed back into a rat, which James quickly tucked into his pocket.

Sirius had paced straight down to one of the willows near the lake. The lakeside was a popular place to hang out, but the particular grove Snape was in was not frequented very often.

It was mid-October, and so all the leaves were in the warm colours of fall, so bright and cheery they seemed to be trying to disguise the evil being plotted below them. Sirius glanced at the map and traced Severus Snape with his finger to imprint in his mind where he was. Sirius had failed to tell James that Snape was not alone, but actually with Lily and several Slytherins. Sirius ducked behind a bush. A big black dog appeared on the other side, walking carefully in the same direction. As the black dog neared its destination, it heard clear voices.

"I swear my back will never be the same," a small girl was saying.

"That desk was placed really stupidly," another female voice replied. It was Lily. "I mean it was only a matter of time before somebody bumped into it."

"We need a bigger space," a very familiar voice male voice commented. The black dog could feel his hackles rising at the sound of Snape responding to Lily.

"We could try and move to one of the unused floors, although we'd have to do a lot of cleaning," the girl who had spoken first suggested.

The black dog moved closer to the voices, very silently and carefully hiding beneath the bushes until at last it found a good spot with full view. Sirius saw a good handful of people sitting together, half-obscured by bushes, clearly having picked the spot specifically for privacy. Snape was there, of course, sitting next to Lily. Sirius saw a young girl with chocolate dark brown hair collected in two pigtails and oval glasses over her dark eyes, who he supposed was the girl he'd heard speaking. Of course she was wearing Slytherin robes. The dog kept back a growl. He had to keep in an even bigger growl when he saw who was sitting right beside her. That little prat of a younger brother, the little prince himself, Regulus Black, was sitting so close to the girl that they nearly touched.

"I'm sure the house elves would be happy to help," Regulus was saying as he tried to move even closer to the girl, who didn't seem to notice.

"We can't be too obvious," Snape cautioned. "If this falls into the wrong hands, people might try to sabotage us."

The black dog's ears stood on end. James was right to be suspicious! Something was going on.

"Who would do such a stupid thing?" Lily pouted as she leaned against Snape… oh, James would be heart-broken if he saw this. "It's such a wonderful thing."

"Except for that _disfringus_ hex that sent me right into a desk," the girl muttered sourly.

"You did have Madame Pomfrey look at that, right?" Regulus asked, clearly concerned. It looked like the prat was capable of simulating positive human emotions after all! As long as the object of his human decency was a sleeshy Slytherin, that is.

"I did. She said it was nothing." The girl looked at Snape. "I guess your healing spell fixed what there was to fix." She sent Snape a little smile.

"Can you teach us that next?" another girl then asked, a blonde whom Sirius recognised as a Slytherin chaser.

"I suppose we could go over some easier healing spells," Snape agreed. "They can be life-saving in some situations. However, we can't go into the more advanced spells; paradoxically, advanced healing spells are extremely dangerous."

Sirius shifted unconsciously. Snape was recruiting students? And teaching them spells that would be useful in a war? Oh, James was right, this could just not be good. As Sirius shifted again, Snape's head snapped to the side. He was looking directly at Sirius.

Sirius froze on the spot. He was hidden, nobody should be able to see him beneath the bush, yet he felt penetrated by the black eyes, as if they peered into his very mind and soul.

"I think we had better move this conversation," Snape said quietly, without moving his head or eyes.

"Why?" Lily asked, following Snape's eyes. Neither she nor anyone else in the group could see what Snape was staring at.

"We are being watched," Snape said crisply. He looked back at the group. "Why don't you all go back into the castle, and I'll met at you the usual place shortly."

"But Sev…"

"Lily, please."

"Okay," the small girl with glasses said suddenly. "We'll meet you inside." And she stood up to take Lily by the hand.

"Fine," Lily muttered, clearly disappointed, and she followed the Slytherins away from the spot. In a moment, Snape was left sitting completely alone.

"It's very rude to listen into other people's private conversations, Black," he said loudly out into the air.

Sirius stared at Snape in shock, but he stayed still.

"Come on, get out with you. I look like an insane person talking to a bush."

Sirius had little choice. He transformed himself back to a human, which crawling out of the bush difficult and painful. Snape glared at him. "What did you suppose you'd get out of eavesdropping?" Snape demanded.

"What are you up to?" Sirius spat sourly as soon as he had finally freed his robes from the bush.

"That is really none of your business, Black." Snape looked coldly at Sirius, his mouth twitching in anger.

"What would Lily say if she knew you are training Slytherins?"

It was perhaps the first time Sirius had ever seen Snape dumbfounded. He recovered quickly. "I knew you were an idiot, but now you surprise me," Snape smirked. "She was there, as you saw. She knows everything I am doing, she is helping me, and she's proud of it to." Snape chuckled softly. "Seems to me your prejudice keeps you from seeing the whole picture."

"What did you do!" Sirius yelled. "Put her under _imperius_? That is low even for you!" He pointed an accusing – and shaking – finger at Severus.

"Why would I ever do such a thing?" Snape asked, truly bemused. "I have done nothing but what I thought was for the best, and I have told her everything I've done."

"Hah! Liar!" Sirius spat.

Snape sighed, as if Sirius were nothing but an annoying little insect to be brushed away. "You really want to believe that, don't you?" Snape asked, quietly. "Even if I tried to explain everything, you would still believe I'm the bad guy." He sighed again. "Some things never change."

"You sleeshy snake!" Sirius hissed. "Trying to play all innocent all of a sudden? What the hell is your game, and why are you dragging my brother into it? How dare you!"

"Oh, be quiet," Snape snorted.

"I WILL NOT! SO YOU JUST TRY AND MAKE ME! I WILL HAVE ANSWERS!" Sirius exploded. He truly looked as if he were about to combust.

"Fine, I will," Snape shrugged. "_Silencio_."

Sirius was still yelling, but somehow not a sound escaped his lips. It took an amazing long time for him to realize this – perhaps he had already deafened himself with all his yelling. He gave up, then, glaring at Snape furiously, before suddenly reaching his arms out and rushing Snape in a good old-fashioned muggle attack. He charged.

Only to have Snape easily step aside at the last moment, making Sirius fall flat on his nose.

Snape snorted. "Honestly, Black, if you had bothered to practise nonverbal magic you wouldn't have to use such crude tactics."

Sirius sneered at Snape from the ground. He tried to hiss something, but no sound came out.

Snape's face was filled with a dark and dangerous shadow. Without warning he bowed down to grab Sirius by the collar and look directly into his eyes. They were very close; Sirius could feel Snape's heavy breathing on his face, and couldn't help but be intimidated by those black eyes, which looked so much like tunnels. He had the feeling that Snape could stare directly into his soul, and it made him cringe.

"Now you listen to me, Black," Snape growled. "I know you never do, but this time I'll make you. I am not interested in these childish games. I am not interested in even being bothered with you and your friends. I couldn't care less about you, so go on being childish. If you want to waste away it's fine with me." He sneered, keeping Sirius's eyes locked on his black ones, and his face turned serious again. "However. There are people I care about, whom I don't want to see hurt. Lay a hand on Lily or Penelope and you're dead, _do you hear me_? If you try to spoil what we have been building, I will make you pay for it. If Potter spoils it, I will make you both pay. We are not out to hurt any of you. We don't want to hurt anyone. We are not Death-Eaters-in-training or followers of Voldemort. We don't want anything to do with that kind. We just want to be left alone!" And with that, Snape threw Sirius away on the grass, where he rolled around a couple of times before fighting himself up onto his elbows. "I'm afraid I can't have you following me," Snape added. "_Immobilus_." He nonchalantly flicked his wand, and at once Sirius could fell his entire body growing numb as he lost his power to move.

"Don't worry," Snape said, a faint hint of amusement in his voice. "I made it so it will only last around half an hour." And Snape turned sharply on his heel, his robes billowing out around him, and walked away…

… leaving Sirius with his humiliation and fury burning hotly inside of him.

James Potter looked nervously around the hallway beneath his invisibility cloak. He had tried to reach Sirius with the two-ways mirror, but there hadn't been a response. The rat shifted in his pocket and he knew Peter was trying to ask him what was going on.

"I don't know why he isn't answering, Wormy," James whispered. "But I remember where he was headed, so I guess we'll go that way."

James drifted carefully down the hallways toward the entrance hall, avoiding the few students passing him. He had just reached the outer doors when he saw Snape walking his direction, towards the school.

Snape was clearly furious. He walked with fast, determined steps and a sour frown across his mouth. James heard the sound of running feet behind him, and he just managed to jump aside to let a figure pass him. James couldn't help but stiffen in shock when he recognised the figure in worn-out, red and yellow school uniform. Remus met Snape in the doorway.

"Severus, I'm so glad I found you," Remus exclaimed, gasping for air.

"What is it?" Snape stopped and lifted an eyebrow at Remus.

"Are you all right?" Remus suddenly asked, standing up very straight, as he observed Snape's hard-lined face.

"I'm fine," Snape grumbled. "Remus, what is it?"

"I can't find Prongs, Padfoot, or Wormy," Remus said, concerned. "We were supposed to meet and read up till Defence, and they are all just gone." He looked at Snape meaningfully.

But Snape merely rolled his eyes. "Why would I care?"

"Because, if they are out Maraudering, and they did so without telling me, they are very likely after you. Maybe they have figured something out." Remus nervously bit his lip.

Snape sighed, looking tired and impatient and annoyed. "It does indeed seem as if they've decided to take matters into their own hands. Black was eavesdropping on my conversation with some of the Fighters outside."

"Severus, what did you do?" Remus asked quietly, looking seriously at Snape.

Snape shrugged. "I sent the others to our usual place so we could continue our talk there. We need to plan a little for the future. Then I told Black that we were not interested in such childish games and body-binded him for half an hour so he wouldn't follow me."

"And that's it?" Remus looked doubtfully at Snape.

"Yes," Snape answered shortly. "I do not, however, have any idea as to Potter and Pettigrew's whereabouts."

"Better be careful," Remus mumbled as he looked around the room, actually looking over the spot where James were standing beneath his cloak with Peter in his pocket. "They have ways to get around unseen."

"You mean by the power of an invisibility cloak?" Snape prompted, both annoyance and amusement in his voice.

"What! You know about that too?" Remus exclaimed. Thankfully, he seemed shocked. At least James could conclude that Remus had not told Snape about the cloak. "Seriously, how do you know these things?"

Severus sighed. "I just might tell you later. It is rather a long story. Would you be interested in coming along to the meeting and giving your input about new arrangements for the Phoenix Fighters?"

"Sure," Remus nodded. "I wish I could be more involved in the planning." They started walking away from James.

"Then get more involved. Lily already has," Snape commented dryly.

That was the last thing James heard. He was rooted to the ground, dumbstruck, desperately trying to process all that he had seen and heard, and to keep the feeling of betrayal, that Remus knew something he wasn't sharing, at bay.

The rat was shifting around in James's pocket. James had to make a decision. He could either follow Snape and Remus or he could go get Sirius.

He made the decision quickly. Sirius would be fine, so James silently followed Snape and Remus. He followed them across the corridors and up several flights of stairs before he finally recognised the charms classroom. Snape and Remus continued walking past it, however, finally opening a door at the other end of the hallway, slipping into the old classroom, and shutting the door tightly.

James halted. "You think you can find a crack?" he whispered to Peter, who shifted a little in his pocket.

"Okay, I'll put you down. See what you can come up with." He reached into his pocket and retrieved the chubby brown rat, whom he carefully placed on the floor. Immediately the rat started running around, sniffing and feeling the air with its whiskers. After a moment it stopped, it's head sticking straight up, sniffing almost rhythmically with its pointy noise before very purposefully running forward and disappearing into a crack.

James sighed and started to relax. He listened intently at the door, but could hear nothing besides muffled voices. Just as he began to wonder whether he should leave Peter and go check on Sirius, the door was suddenly slammed open. In the doorway stood a monumentally furious Severus Snape.

Startled, James took a step back.

"POTTER!" Snape roared.

James gasped - almost screamed - in shock, his heart beating so loudly that he swore the entire school could hear it. Apparently Snape could hear it, at least. He looked directly at James and reached forward an arm, taking one step, and then another before his outstretched hand landed flat against James's face and the invisibility cloak. His hand closed around the material and flung the cloak away. Several people gasped behind him, including Lily. Her eyes were wide. Remus looked equally shocked, but also very hurt. Only now did James see the rat, clutched in Snape's hand, tossing and turning and squealing, desperately trying to escape.

"I believe this is yours," Snape snarled as he threw Peter to James, who barely managed to catch his friend.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lily asked angrily as she seized James.

"Me?" James exclaimed. "What about you, what about him?" He pointed at Snape. "What is he up to? Why are you supporting him!"

"I told you already," Remus said. The deep disappointment on his face was extremely painful for James to see. "He is not up to anything, other than just doing the right thing. You are on the same side."

"We are not!" James stated firmly. "Moony, he is using you. Don't you see? It's all well planned out. When Padfoot, Wormtail and I saw you together in the summer, we could see clear as day that he was trying to win you over!"

"That's a load of bullshit and you know it," Remus replied in an even tone. The disappointment on his face was being slowly replaced by fury.

"It's a load of bullshit that Snape is suddenly fighting for good!" James yelled. "It's a load of bullshit that Snape would walk around and act like this! _That is not Snape_!" James declared, pointing a finger at Snape. "I don't know who he is! Whether he is a Death-Eater or a spirit who possesses people or what, that is not Snape!" He made a move forward before suddenly a young girl with glasses stepped in front of Snape.

"You leave him alone," she said warningly.

"Penelope, stay out of it," Snape instructed the girl, forcing her behind him.

"See!" James pointed. "When would Snape ever react like that in a situation like this? That is not Snape!"

"Of course he's Snape you idiot!" Lily exclaimed with exasperation as she took a step closer to Snape. "I am with him everyday, don't you think I would notice?"

"James," Remus said with hesitation, looking rather nervous. "Calm down, you look positively mad."

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" James yelled. "I WANT ANSWERS! I WANT YOU TO REALIZE HE'S DANGEROUS!" James swung his wand. "_REVEALO_!"

Snape deflected the curse, and then blinked. "You want to throw _revealo_ at me?" he asked with mind surprise, then opened his arms. "Take another shot."

"_REVEALO_!" A blue beam hit Snape in the chest.

Nothing happened.

"_FINITE INCANTATUM_!" That was a spell that would immediately cancel the effects of any spell cast on a person, including _imperius_.

Nothing happened. Snape wasn't even swaying. He just looked coldly at James.

"I WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS!" James roared. "_CONFRINGUS_!"

Snape did his new signature move and just deflected the spell.

"Potter!" Lily gasped. "How could you?" She drew her wand to stand with Snape.

"Prongs stop!" Remus begged with a scared voice, yet he also drew his wand.

James took a step back. "He is brainwashing you, don't you see?" he pleaded. "It's all a ploy!"

"Prongs, he is not brainwashing us." Remus insisted, trying to soothe his friend.

"Moony I'm sorry, _IMMOBILUS_!" Surprisingly the red light was not aimed at Snape, but instead darted towards Remus. Snape deflected it anyway. It left Remus blinking. Then he grew mad.

"James how could you?" Remus asked, his voice filled with sorrow, anger and disappointment. Remus's normally gray eyes flashed yellow, looking as they did in his werewolf form. James had only seen that happen once before – when Sirius had told Snape how to find the secret passage in the Whomping Willow almost a year ago. "_How could you do that?_" Remus roared. "Following me! Not trusting me! You're my friend! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?"

"Well what have we here?"

James nearly had a heart attack. He did not dare look away from the people in front of him so it was only when the person stepped between him and the others that he realized who it was. It was the tall scrawny teacher who seemed to be made of nothing but pointy sharp features, from his prickly hair to his slim chin and down to his pointy shoes. Professor Spinner.

James felt like he could fall over and die any second. This was simply too much.

"Lower your wands, children," Spinner sneered.

Hesitantly they all did as they were told. "Six against one," Spinner commented dryly. "As much as I see the wisdom in your actions, Mr. Snape, it is hardly worthy of you." His gaze fell on James. "And Mr. Potter, attacking someone from your own house? Well, Gryffindors were never the smart ones."

James hissed through his teeth.

"I believe this calls for punishment, the lot of you! To my office!" He grinned widely, showcasing his odd teeth.

Snape was so furious he was almost blinded by pure anger. For the first time in his new life, he genuinely felt like he could have strangled Potter with his bare hands. In fact it would be to his utmost pleasure. He had half a mind to snatch Pettigrew from James and crush the rat, like he should have done when he had the chance. Yet he needed to seem calm, so he restrained himself so that no emotions could not be traced in his face or in his posture. As he did this, he detached himself from his situation, a skill that he could perform on demand if he choose, and looked upon the situation with cold logic, brushing any emotions aside to review them later when he was alone.

Spinner led all of the students involved in the argument - Lily, Snape, Penelope, Regulus, Diane, Jugson, Remus, Potter, and Pettigrew in rat form – down the hallway to his office.

Snape was concentrating on keeping his head straight and observing the facts when he felt Lily put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't respond.

When they reached Spinners office, which Severus had in his time seen belonging to a great number of people, they all stepped inside. Spinner closed the door behind them. "Well," Spinner leered as he smiled his devilish grin. "What sort of punishment can I bestow on such misbehaving children?"

Snape took in the room in his cold detached state, noting the room was sparse and practical, with the only decoration being dark artefacts placed around the room. Very few of the artefacts could conceivably be used for defence. A skull grinned from the windowsill beside what Snape recognized as very rare and highly valuable vampire teeth.

"Snape, I believe this is the first time I have had the pleasure of giving you detention," Spinner smirked. "We will have to use that hour or two well."

Snape kept his face and mind studiously blank.

"And Mr. Black!" Spinner seemed delighted. "I would approve of your company if it weren't for…" His eyes fell on Lily and his mouth turned to a sneer. "Little Miss Muggleborn."

Despites his efforts Severus could fell his insides stirring. He took a breath and relaxed.

"Quite the little Jinx, aren't you? Spreading your filth wherever you go."

Potter was just about to open his mouth when Severus held him back, gripping his shoulder firmly and sending him a warning look.

"You were always a smart one, Mr. Snape," Spinner trilled. "You have so much potential you could realize with the right people, if you could just see it."

"I told you already," Severus murmured. Despite his voice's softness, everyone in the room could hear him perfectly. "I am with the right people."

The Slytherins behind him lit up in what could be called pride, and even Lily smiled. Only James looked confused, and still angry.

Spinner harrumphed and turned to his next victim. "And Mrs. Jugson, what a delight."

Severus did not bother listening Spinner's talk as he scanned across the room. Something suddenly caught his eye. Everything seemed to slow down and Spinner's voice became but a soft shuffling in the background as Severus stared at the corner of the office. There on the shelf lay a little brown leather-bound book. Severus's head fell askew as he stared at that book. How many times had he examined that very book? Examined it over and over, trying to figure out what was so special about it? He recognized the book even though, when he'd examined it, there'd been an interesting hole in the middle of it. How many times had he nagged Dumbledore about it? At last, it had been Dumbledore himself who delivered the answer: it was a Horcux!

It was right there, in Spinner's office. Voldemort probably thought Hogwarts was a safe place, but that didn't alter the fact that the thing was right in front of Severus now.

"Wait right here!" Spinner suddenly demanded, and left the room.

Without much thought Severus immediately stepped forward and reached out for the horcrux. Eyes were following him all the way and he stopped. It was better to get it later when the people in this room, especially Potter, were not watching. Did not see him.

"Ah here we go!" Spinner exclaimed as he re-entered the room with a little calendar in his hand. "Mr. Snape, I always wanted to spend some time with you, so I guess we will make it next Friday. Meet up in my office at five!"

"Yes sir." Snape nodded.

"And Mr. Black, let's make that a Monday date. You'll meet up on Monday at five o'clock." They were each given a time to come to Spinner's office before they left.

As they left Severus was still cold and calculating. It suddenly seemed to him that all of their small fights were so unimportant, when compared to the fact that there was a Horcrux in there.

"Sev." Lily's voice cut through his mind and he suddenly became aware that her hand was on his shoulder again. He turned to meet her startling green eyes.

"Sev, are you all right?" she asked.

"I'm fine." Severus answered. "Why shouldn't I be?"

"You're doing that thing again." Lily took a breath. "That thing where you look all soulless. It's scaring me."

"I'm sorry Lily." Severus broke loose as he turned to her. "I just couldn't let my emotions rule me for a while."

Slowly both Lily's arms crept around his waist as she leaned her head against his chest. "I'm glad that you can admit it, then at least I know you were still in there."

"Lily," Severus breathed as he put a reassuring his hand on her shoulder. "It's fine, I'm not going anywhere, and I found a pretty good spot here where I can be of use."

"Good," Lily said, just holding him close. "I'm glad that you're aware of that." She rocked back and forth and swayed from side to side. "Hold me?" she asked.

Shyly Severus did as he was told and put both his arms around her, feeling her leaning even more into his chest. That lavender smell was all over the place again and her breath warmed his chest. "Shhh, I told you that I am not going anywhere," he whispered as she took a staggering breath. "How could I ever leave you behind?"

* * *

_this Chapter have been beta read by Magesa. _

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	17. Plotting and misschief

Remus John Lupin was in a jumble. Worse than that - his insides were a hurricane, and all sorts of emotions were blowing back and forth in the confused maelstrom.

He was mad, he was sad and he was disappointed. Partly in his friends and partly in himself, as he had honestly seen this coming a long time ago, but just been too stupid, and too hesitant, to do anything about it.

He forcefully walked James back to the common room. After they'd been released from Spinner's office, Remus had dragged James away from Severus and Lily with a ferocious look and an even more ferocious grip on James's collar.

"What the hell, Moony?" James asked as he gasped for air.

"What the hell, Moony?" Remus mocked. "You're the one who shot a hex towards me!"

James's face turned red. "I'm sorry," he muttered.

"I should damn well hope so. God, James, I can't believe you! Don't you trust me?"

"I trust you, it's Snape I don't…"

"James, _shut up_ about Snape for a moment and use your head. Peter!" Remus then demanded. "You can turn back now, we are alone!"

James looked from side to side, double checking, and then placed the rat on the floor. After some moments it morphed into Peter, who looked at Remus with watering eyes. "I'm… I'm sorry," he stammered.

"Good!" Remus shot back. "You should be! Why did you follow me? Couldn't you just have asked me? I would have told you."

James and Peter shared an embarrassed look. "Then why didn't you tell us before?" James challenged.

"Well, why do you think? Just look at the way you're reacting now." Remus's eyes turned hard. "You tried to hex me!" he spat at James. "Why can't you just accept the fact that Severus is not out to kill you!"

"Because it doesn't make any sense!" James almost shouted back. "Remus, I know you fell into his debt because he seemed to accept you despite your furry little problem, and I know how it must have seemed to you when he was there for that little girl in the summer, but don't those things seem a little convenient?" James asked. "I mean, he swore to kill you just last August!"

"He changed his mind!"

James drew in an unsteady breath. "But that's just it, Moony. Why? _Why?_"

"I don't know!" Remus yelled. He fell silent as he realised how stupid that sounded, even to him. "I don't know," he then repeated a little more calmly. "But I trust him. There is more to him than you think."

"What, so he has you convinced he was always a good guy?" James spat.

"No," Remus said, still calm. "He admitted that he wanted to join You-Know-Who but then changed his mind."

James shook his head and crossed his arms. "Then what is up with… the Phoenix Fighters or whatever the hell you call it."

"Let's take this up to the dorm, shall we?" Remus asked, and he began to turn toward the dorms. "I'm sure Padfoot wants to ask the same questions, and Lily will want to be there too." He set off, fully expecting James and Peter to follow. When they didn't he gave them his best angry glare. "Well?"

Only then did they take a few steps in his direction. They followed him - reluctantly, but they came.

Upon entering the common room, Remus settled himself down on his favourite armchair before the fire, rested his chin in his hands and glared furiously at them. Slowly realizing that Remus planned to wait for Sirius and Lily this way, James and Peter sank uneasily into the sofa across from him.

The first one to arrive was Sirius, oddly quiet but nevertheless pissed. When he saw them he started gesticulating wildly, his mouth opening and closing without a sound escaping from his lips.

"Well, what did you expect when you were eavesdropping on Severus?" Remus drawled, annoyed, making Sirius stop his gesturing. Sirius gaped, dumbfounded, at Remus.

"I happened to be with Severus when he caught James and Peter eavesdropping as well," Remus explained. "It all ended in James trying to hex me."

"Moony, I said that I was sorry!" James burst out.

"And you think that means I'm done with you?" Remus demanded quietly, not deigning to look in James's direction.

Sirius sat down hesitatingly and pointed pleadingly at his mouth.

"Fine, if you promise not to turn into a waterfall of rambling," Remus grumped. He pointed his wand at Sirius. "_Finite Incantatem_."

Sirius harrumphed tryingly. When he heard that his voice was back his face lit up, but one glance at his friend's faces was enough to make his face fall again. He turned to stare wide-eyed at James. "You tried to hex Moony?"

James blushed a deep red as he looked away.

"Oh God, you did," Sirius moaned, flabbergasted. "Why?"

"Apparently he was led to believe that I was being brainwashed," Remus grumbled. "I'm acting like I don't have any free will, Prongs tells me." He trailed off, but then suddenly snapped, "James, look at me when I am talking to you!"

Slowly James raised his eyes to meet Remus's.

"Have I acted like a brainwashed person lately?" Remus asked.

Slowly James shook his head.

"Other than spending some time with Severus and Lily once in a while, have I acted any differently than I used to?"

Again James had to shake his head.

"Then where would such a mad idea come from?" Remus demanded. "Honestly, James! You're better than that."

"What exactly happened?" Sirius asked quietly.

"Didn't I already tell you?" Remus groaned. "Severus, Lily, some other people, and I were having a private conversation - in a locked room - when suddenly Wormtail appeared in the corner. Snape recognised him and confronted Prongs, who was outside, hiding under the invisibility cloak. Then Prongs went absolutely crazy and tried to hex me!"

"Really?" Sirius didn't seem to be able to fathom what was going on. "Why would you hex Moony?" he asked James, sincerely concerned.

"It was stupid." James muttered "It was all... circumstances."

"It was all stupid," Remus cut him off, and then threw his hands up. "God, you're so unbelievable."

"I... I..." James stammered.

"Just be glad Severus didn't reveal Peter to everyone. He could have, you know!"

"Wait, he recognised Wormy in his rat form?" Sirius exclaimed.

Peter nodded, looking mildly shell-shocked. "I thought I was going to die," he whispered. "He just grabbed me and went for the door. Thankfully all he did was throw me at James."

Remus felt himself warm a bit up towards Peter. He could only imagine how it must have been to have to face Severus's cold anger as a little rat. Severus had indeed been very furious; honestly, everyone in the room had been a little scared before they discovered the source of the anger. And their fear was nothing compared to Peter's sheer terror, squashed in Severus's hand, violently thrust across the room. Peter had been punished enough, Remus decided, but James had not.

"What happened to you?" Remus asked Sirius.

"Well." Sirius hesitated, now that all of his friends were looking at him. "Okay, I was eavesdropping too," Sirius confessed. "I was hiding behind a bush, and apparently Snape somehow knew I was there, so he sent the others away and then confronted me."

"Then what?" James asked. "Did he attack you?"

Sirius sighed. "No," he murmured sourly. "Not really. I attacked him and he deflected me. He threatened me, said that if I laid a hand on Lily or some girl called Penelope he would make me pay, and if I tried to sabotage whatever it is they are building he would make all of us pay."

"So like Severus to lose his temper," Remus sighed.

Sirius shot Remus an annoyed look. "He's not innocent. He cast that spell on me that makes it so I can't talk, and then he body-binded me so I wouldn't follow him."

"I say you got off easy," Remus scoffed, lifting an eyebrow at Sirius. "Padfoot, what were you thinking? What were you all thinking?"

"That we don't trust Snape," James said seriously. "I have been thinking this over and over, and the only possible conclusion I can see is that this person is not Snape." James then continued in a softer voice. "It's not Snape, this person we are targeting, it's whoever is impersonating him. I really don't believe it's Snape."

"Oh for the love of -" Remus swore beneath his breath. But then he held his wrath back, for he had to admit that he had harboured similar thoughts. "Look," he explained more calmly, "Severus has been through some tough times that have made him change his perspective."

"When?" James challenged. "In the vacation? That doesn't give him a lot of time, does it?"

Remus sighed. "Before that. Honestly, I'm not really sure when or how. He might tell me at some point, but he hasn't yet. If he does, I'm not sure I'll tell you; it's personal." He looked at his friends, his eyes supplicating for the first time. "Please trust me on this."

James looked down. "Are you going to tell us what you've been doing, then?" he asked.

Remus shrugged. "We are hosting a tutoring group. That's it."

James lifted an eyebrow. "Called the Phoenix Fighters?"

"In which you send small girls flying into desks?" Sirius added, making James look at him briefly.

"So?" Remus demanded. "They are learning how to bloody survive Professor Spinner's classes! He's not only hexing students at random in our class, you know."

"You still haven't explained about the name," James pointed out.

Remus waved him off. "They wanted a cool name, so they just made one up. Many of the Slytherin students are terribly lonely. They just wanted to feel like they were a part of something, and the name helped that feeling of belonging grow." He shrugged. "Why are we the Marauders?"

"Only a tutoring group?" James repeated, very doubtfully.

"Yes," Remus answered flatly. "Lily and everyone else in it would tell you the same. It's a tutoring group anyone can join as long as they don't compete with each other or treat anyone else, including Slytherins, badly. That's why you were not invited; inviting you would frankly only invite trouble for the young Slytherins, who just want to prove themselves." Remus shook his head. "I am just helping them feel a bit more accepted by the other houses."

It was partly a lie, partly the sincere truth. The Phoenix Fighters was, in essence, a tutoring group in self-defence, but it was also so much more. The Phoenix Fighters was a refuge for all those people with nowhere else to go and a source of friends for those no one listened to. It was life-altering.

Remus understood only too well what this gathering of formerly alone people meant. He had felt all alone as a child. That feeling was an empty wasteland in his chest, and he would always remember it. Sitting in front of him were the three people responsible for making that feeling go away. That was why Remus knew he couldn't be mad at them for long, even now. James, Sirius, and Peter were still the best friends he would ever have.

Despite Remus's reassurances, James still looked pretty doubtful.

James might be Remus's friend, but he should not think he would get off easily. Not after following, eavesdropping on, and hexing him! "And I believe you owe me," Remus said, looking piercingly at his friend. "Just stay out of it, at the very least."

"I'm not sure I can promise anything," James equivocated.

"Yes you will, damn it!" Remus demanded. "Here's the deal. Lily and I are both prefects. If you cause the tutoring group any trouble we will go to McGonagall and we will make sure you scrub the hallways with toothbrushes for a week."

"Ouch, Moony!" moaned Sirius. "But I guess it's fair…" he added quickly.

Remus shook his head. Chances were that, when it came down to it, the threat wouldn't make much of a difference. Hopefully the fact that James owed him big time would help for a while.

"One last question then," James uttered. "What was that book Snape seemed so interested in?"

Remus blinked. "I really have no idea," he admitted.

"Aren't you the least bit curious?"

"James Potter, you leave that book and everything else Severus does alone, do you hear me?" Remus yelled. "You are not going after that book! That is Severus's business, and you owe me! Big time!"

Severus had one and only one objective in his mind. Get that horcrux! No matter what it took, he had to steal into that office and get the horcrux.

As it turned out, stealing the horcrux was a little more complicated than it appeared. Truth be told, Severus should've just taken it when he had the chance. Spinner was somewhat paranoid; Severus could understand that, as he himself was maybe a little paranoid once in a while. So Spinner had cast a mountain of protective wards around his office. It was nigh impossible to get into the office (at least without setting off alarms) when Spinner wasn't there. There were booby traps, alerting charms, and various secret spells in and around the office. Severus had to come up with a plan.

He tried to speak to Lily about it over pancakes in the morning, but she had as little idea about what to do as he had.

"I could help you," Lily offered.

"No, you'd better not," Severus insisted. "It's less dangerous if it's only one person."

"But I want to help!" Lily pouted.

"You are helping," Severus assured her. "By just being here you are helping more than you could ever know."

"That sounds like hogwash!" Lily complained, and she slammed her syrup down on the table a little too forcefully, spraying it all over her robes. She didn't seem to care. "I want to help."

Severus sighed. "You know that if I need help you are the first person I am going to ask, don't you?"

She nodded hesitantly.

"In any case, I don't know how to get to it yet," Severus continued bitterly.

Lily took a deep breath. "I know, quite a bother, isn't it."

Lily wasn't the only one who was annoyed. Penelope saw how Severus had been looking at that little leather-bound book in Spinner's office. Only a moron would fail to realise that it was somehow important. Yet, when she had asked Severus about it, he had blatantly brushed her off as if she were some dumb girl not to be taken seriously. Penelope had sincerely thought that Severus respected her. When he treated her like that, she felt as if she had just bitten into a sour apple she'd thought would be sweet.

"You still don't have any idea what that book even is, do you?" Regulus asked her at dinner.

The two of them had become quite good friends lately. It all started in their first club meeting, when she promised to show him the house elves. Regulus was delighted to meet all the little creatures, and Penelope was delighted to see the respect he had for them. It had been some time before he told her about his own house elf, Kreacher, and how the elf had been the only one to listen to Regulus's problems before Penelope. She had offered to tell him about her own problems so they could exchange their trust, and so their friendship had started to grow.

Penelope was very happy. She genuinely believed that Regulus was the first person in the school she could really call a friend, and he had confided that the feeling was mutual. Severus was treating her nicely enough and all, but he seemed so superior to her still, as if he were a mentor or even a teacher. She didn't quite feel worthy of calling him a friend, and so she had this irrational need to try and prove herself to him.

"No," Penelope answered Regulus. "Severus still won't tell me a thing, but I know that book's important."

"Pen, don't you think we should just let it be?" Regulus said. "I'm pretty sure Severus doesn't want us to mess around in his business."

Penelope sighed. "I just wish we could help, you know? I know Severus is annoyed that he can't get to the book."

"Well, if _he_ can't, how do you suppose _we_ could?" Regulus asked, incredulous. "He's probably the most powerful student in school."

"I know," Penelope mused, twirling a bean in circles on her plate. "But just because you're powerful doesn't mean that you're omniscient. He could have overlooked something."

James Potter was lost in similar thoughts. His mind kept wandering around and around that little book. Maybe it was the key to answers.

"You know I'm with you, mate," Sirius asserted, as the Marauders huddled together on James's bed. All the Marauders minus Remus. "But what do you want us to do?"

"I think we should try and get it," James said flatly. "Snatch it out of Spinner's office."

"Sounds intriguing." Sirius smiled; he was always up for a good prank. "How do you reckon we do that?"

"Well…" James hesitated. "There are a lot of protective wards around the office, but that's nothing. Let's be thankful we have the gift of the Marauders."

Sirius nodded, smirking. "With all the advantages that come with it."

"You won't make me spy on Snape again, will you?" Peter asked nervously. "Because if so I'm out."

James jerked his head and stared at Peter, surprised. But then he answered, "No, I don't think so, but your rat form is really handy." Then he muttered sourly, "It makes you wonder why I'm stuck with such a useless form. I mean, what is a stag good for other than running around in a forest?"

"I'm sure Wormy would be happy to switch," Sirius drawled. "I am even sure Moony would be ecstatic to receive the offer."

"Haha, funny," James commented dryly.

Severus's head had been whirring almost non-stop the last couple of days, theorising strategies into existence and then tossing plans almost as quickly as he invented them. At last he decided to simply go with whatever felt most reasonable.

"I've got a plan," he confided to Lily one day when they were alone in the library. "And I suppose I will need your help after all."

Lily closed the book she'd been reading at once. "What is it?"

"On Halloween, everyone will be collected in the Great Hall," Severus began. "And of course, we have a grand tradition of pranks on Halloween. I can't get into the office without setting off some of the warning wards, but the teachers will be too distracted to actually catch me. I'll only need to be inside for a very short while; I just need to copy the diary and get out. Spinner probably has no idea what the diary even is. Voldemort never trusts his servants with such vital information."

"I'm with you so far."

"I am going to try and distract the teachers by letting a troll inside."

"You're _what_?" Lily cried, loudly enough to make the librarian shoot daggers in their direction. Lily switched to a fierce whisper. "Are you nuts?"

Severus sighed. "Just a small troll, only large enough to ensure Spinner won't get back to his office for ten minutes," Severus explained. "I need you to alert the Great Hall while I get to the office."

"Sev, you're sure you're all right?" she asked. "This plan is insane."

"Listen, Lily." Severus took her hand. "Nothing is more important then getting that horcrux," he told her firmly and surely. "It's a matter of life and death. Of war and peace."

"Okay." Lily's voice wavered, but she nodded. "I'll do it."

Severus smiled, relieved. "Thank you," he told her sincerely.

As the Slytherins filed out of Defence Against the Dark Arts, Penelope grabbed Regulus's sleeve and dragged him over to a secluded corner. "I've got a plan!" she announced.

"You what?" Regulus eyed her with concern. "You're really going to go after that book?"

"Yeah." Penelope nodded. "But I'll need your help."

"Fine." Regulus leaned against a pillar and rolled his eyes. "What's your plan?"

"Well, Halloween is coming up. Everyone is going to be all together in the Great Hall - Spinner too - so I was thinking that if one of us distracted him, the other could go down and get the book."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Regulus challenged.

"Well." Penelope lightly touched her glasses. "I was thinking about maybe letting some Doxies loose at the great table, you know, placing a concealed cage behind Spinner and then dissolving it the moment you give me the cue that you're in the office."

"Wait, you want _me_ to take the bloody book?" Regulus demanded.

"Please Reg," Penelope pleaded. "For me?"

Regulus sighed. "You're going to be my death, you know." He sighed again and set off down the corridor. But he had agreed.

"I think I got it," James exclaimed, grinning, to his friends, as they huddled around the common room fire. "How we get the book!"

Sirius's interest was piqued at once. Peter, on the other hand, looked rather nervous. "What's your plan?" Sirius asked.

"Well." James smirked. "Halloween would be too good an opportunity to pass up, don't you think?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows. "We always do a prank on Halloween, but _this_ time it'll be a grand distraction."

"So what do you suggest? That we just let a mountain of fireworks loose in the great hall and then sneak down to the office?" Sirius asked.

"Yup!" James smiled brightly and high-fived his friend.

"That is." Sirius paused for dramatic effect. "The most fantastic idea I've heard all month!"

"Sounds okay," Peter murmured, nodding.

"Okay." James moved closer to them. "Unfortunately we can't include Moony. We will have to apologise to him afterwards, but if possible, don't even tell him we took the book, okay?" The others nodded. "I guess it would be smartest to set up some self-starting fireworks in the hall. Of course we won't be able to be there for the party, but the book is more important." Peter was clearly disappointed at the prospect of missing the feast, but he nodded. "I was thinking we could place Wormtail at the window beforehand, so he could just crawl into the office and let us in. Opening the door from the inside should be enough to trick most of the protective wards, but one of us has to keep guard."

"I think that would have to be you mate," Sirius breathed. "I think it's best that the one with the invisibility cloak does it. Dogs are not very good at performing magic, you know. That would definitely make people think something's up."

"I guess you're right," James conceded, somewhat disappointed. "So it's settled then."

"Absolutely!" Sirius nearly bounced out of his chair.

Peter also agreed, after a moment.

* * *

_This chapter have been beta read by Magesa. _

_This chapter have been beta read by Magesa._


	18. Halloween troubles

It was October the 31st.

The Great Hall was spookily magnificent. Bats darted between floating candles, gigantic spider webs in the corners glittered with crystal spiders, and giant pumpkins all up and down the tables leered at the students. Only three Gryffindor boys knew that these pumpkins were in fact filled with fireworks that would activate themselves automatically at the strike of nine, just as desert was served.

The teachers' table was littered with orange and black confetti. Striking black curtains behind the table made a spooky background. Nobody knew that tucked away behind the curtains was a cage humming with small, blue fairy-like creatures, and that the nearest chair was sticky with honey. There was just enough honey to make someone's robes sticky – not a very noticeable amount, but enough to get the job done. It just so happened that honey was Doxies' favourite food. They could go absolutely crazy about it.

The hallways of Hogwarts were decorated with equal care. Skeletons in old shackles slumped in corners, chains around their thin necks and ankles. Extra candles seemed to be floating about, a few of them black instead of the customary white. Somewhere in the dungeons there was a faint and ominous sound of rummaging.

Severus had very carefully lured a small troll all the way from the forest down into the dungeon, on the opposite side of the castle as Spinner's office. Lily wrinkled her nose at the smell. "You're sure it's safe?" she asked, as the troll hammered its fists on the bars of its cage.

"I would under no circumstances put any students in danger," Severus said seriously. "I have put wards around the troll. If it even comes to close to someone under the age of seventeen, it will fall over all by itself. You and I are the only exceptions to that rule."

Lily blinked. "That's clever."

"You have set the hourglass?" Severus asked.

Lily nodded, gesturing towards the hourglass beside her. It was a magical hourglass; it would set off an alarm after a specified amount of time.

"Good. I will be meeting you shortly, after it's done."

"And you better take care Sev!" Lily yelled, poking him in the stomach. "Or I will make you pay."

Severus couldn't help but smirk. "I believe your disappointment would be payment enough for me."

Lily blushed lightly. Suddenly, she was standing in front him, so close, on her tiptoes, and then she kissed him on the right cheek. "That was for luck," she whispered as she retreated.

Severus was astounded. He could still feel the burning on his left cheek where she had planted a kiss some few weeks ago, and now his right cheek was burning equally hot. Dazed, he gazed at her, feeling his heart leap as a euphoric feeling fought its way through his body and onto his face. He had the strangest urge to do a happy dance. Determined, he shook his head to get rid of all those feelings. He needed to concentrate on the mission. It didn't help in the least that Lily was chuckling sweetly at him.

He opened his mouth to say some last word to her, but found that he had nothing to say. He had to turn away before his emotions got the better of him. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his mind.

Lily, on the other hand, was feeling very self-satisfied. She had not missed that brief visage of sheer euphoric happiness on Severus's face. Even though it had not lasted for more than half a second, it had still been there.

"I guess it's about time, Reg," Penelope hinted, as Regulus shovelled in his dinner of kidney pie and baked potatoes.

"You still really want to do this?" Regulus asked, swallowing his last mouthful.

Penelope nodded, determined.

Regulus sighed. "Well, I guess I will be off, then." He shyly squeezed Penelope's hand. "You take care, Pen."

"No, you take care." Penelope's chocolate eyes shone with sincerity behind her oval glasses. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if you got hurt because of me."

Regulus felt a light happiness fill his chest at the sight of her concern. It only made him more determined to finish the job. He gave her hand a final squeeze and rose to walk out of the Great Hall. Despite his happiness, he felt a certain bitterness as well. He reminded himself over and over that he was not the one she felt that way towards.

Remus was really rather nervous. Actually, he was terrified, and right now there was no one to comfort him or explain anything. His three best friends were missing from the Great Hall, despite Sirius's well-documented love of food. His best female friend was also missing from the table. He scanned the Slytherin table and saw no sign of Severus either. Clearly something was wrong. Clearly they were up to something.

He had a sudden, startling feeling that they might have tried to apprehend Severus again, sure that any interference – namely him – was out of the way. Having lost all of his appetite, and overwhelmed with a sudden sense of urgency, Remus rose and quickly walked out of the Great Hall.

Peter was crawling around on the windowsill, waiting for his signal. The plan was simple. The only thing he was supposed to do was to get in and open the door for Sirius, since Peter didn't know how to deal with the protective wards around the book and office. He paced back and forth, waiting for his signal to crawl in.

Severus was taking a different route. That office had, after all, been his for one single year, and so he knew some alternative routes to the office, some which went into the private quarters of the defence teacher. This was the way he went. There weren't many wards along that route, as the defence teacher wouldn't expect others to know about it.

Regulus was hurrying down the corridors counting the minutes inside of his head. This should be simple: walk in, take the book, walk out. Make it clean!

The first _bang!_ sounded in the Great Hall. A cascade of light burst from one of the many pumpkin heads, making Penelope jump. The teachers were also startled, and running all about. Penelope had a hard time believing her own luck!

"_NOW!"_ Peter squeezed through the window and ran as fast as he could for the door, which he opened up as he transformed back into a human. Opening the door from the inside had been enough to trick the first intruder charm, but not the next one. Both Sirius and Peter had to dodge a ball of fire emerging from a cauldron. Peter winced and turned back into a rat, running under a counter to stay safe.

"Shit!" Sirius cursed, but he reached for the book anyway. It badly burned his fingers. "OUCH!" he hissed loudly, whipping out his wand. "_Finite Incantatum_! _Replico_!" He quickly exchanged the book with an exact replica.

"Padfoot, hide! Someone is coming through the hallway!" a familiar voice shouted from the two-ways mirror in Sirius's pocket. Panic struck Sirius as he frantically looked for a hiding place. He ducked beneath a desk in the middle of the room; it provided cover on three sides.

Feet sounded outside, and got louder as they ran into the office. They stopped up, turned around and walked in the direction of the small, fake leather-bound book.

"TROLL! TROLL!" Lily yelled, at the top of her lungs, as she ran into the Great Hall. "THERE'S A TROLL IN THE CASTLE!" She halted suddenly, staring at the scene. The Great Hall was already a complete mess. Students were ducking under tables, food was spilling everywhere, and teachers were desperately trying to stop all of the pumpkins from exploding into vivid fireworks. Colours of all kinds splashed across the Hall. A cacophony of explosions and screams rent the air.

It was Lily's announcement, however, that really began the panic.

"TROLL! TROLL!" the students started to scream, impressively hysterical. Spinner rose from his chair and accidentally knocked over a hidden cage. A horde of blue creatures were suddenly released. They swarmed around him, pinching and stinging him. Spinner's scream could be heard even over all of the other chaos in the Hall.

Sirius held his breath as the feet stood still for a while and a voice muttered a word that sounded like "_Replico_". Suddenly a wall to his left was moving. The feet quickly started to run, but a fireball caused whoever it was to throw himself at the floor and roll under the desk Sirius was hiding under.

Sirius could fell his heart banging loudly and his mind going numb as he stared wide-eyed at the figure. The figure also grew tense as it saw the feet before it. The figure looked up.

Sirius's mind might as well have been turned off at that second. He was gaping, dumbfounded, at the face, and his little brother looked back at him, equally dumbfounded. Both were just staring at each other as if they couldn't believe what was happening. True enough, they couldn't!

Both tensed and looked to the side as a third voice hissed "_Replico_."

"ENOUGH!" Dumbledore shouted, so loudly and authoritatively that it cut through the explosions, the angry doxies, and the yelling of the troll somewhere inside the castle.

The students quieted down, though they were still dodging the firecrackers.

"PREFECTS AND HEAD OF HOUSES, LEAD YOUR HOUSES BACK TO THE DORMS!" Dumbledore had to shout to be heard over the continuing explosions. "TEACHERS SEARCH THE HALLWAYS IN PAIRS FOR THAT TROLL!"

Penelope, terrified, had already started running in the direction of Spinner's office to warn Regulus about the troll. It might be dangerous, and the thought of something happening to him made her panic. She ran quickly, without stopping to hear whatever the headmaster was yelling.

Remus ran aimlessly through the corridors. He'd run first to their Phoenix Fighters meeting room and then to the floor they'd decided to move into. Nothing. Now he had run out of ideas. The Shrieking Shack? Probably not, but he had to continue searching.

James Potter's jaw dropped when he saw who emerged from the office. "SNAPE!" he roared from beneath his cloak, throwing it aside.

"Potter?" Snape stared at him, startled, clutching the little object in his hands tighter.

"_Accio Book_!" James yelled, using Snape's little moment of surprise to get his charm through, for once. Snape, almost by instinct, tried to deflect it, but it was not a Hex. It was a harmless charm, and as such the little book flew out of Snape's hands and into James's outstretched fingers. James quickly charmed the book to be unsummonable.

"GIVE THAT BACK!" Snape screamed.

"Make me!" James spat back, as turned around to make a run for it.

At once Snape sprinted after him, but James transformed into a giant stag which ran five times faster than Snape could ever hope to.

Sirius's head snapped around. "Snape," he whispered, listening to James's voice yelling outside. At once he threw himself out from under the table to aid his friend.

"No you don't!" Regulus exclaimed as he threw himself after his brother and grabbed him on the shoulder. They crashed down onto the floor together, rolling around in a good-old-fashioned fist-fight. It was a very unfair fight, as Sirius was considerately bigger than Regulus.

"Let me go, stupid Reggy!" Sirius roared.

"Why? I've been fucking wanting to do this for ages." Regulus planted a firm fist in Sirius's face.

"You just hit me?" Sirius paused, flabbergasted. His face hardened. "How dare you!"

"I would be happy to do it again!" Regulus growled, and he planted another firm fist in Sirius's jaw. "You fucking bastard!"

"So I'm the bastard, am I?" Sirius mocked, not even bothering to protect his face. "Let the sleazy little spoiled brat speak!" With those words he punched Regulus in the face, hard, flinging Regulus away. Sirius thrust himself after Regulus, and soon the two were again rolling around on the floor, yelling curses and swear words at each other.

Penelope screamed as a huge creature she could not identify stormed towards her. She was absolutely sure that she was going to be crushed against the wall, and she could only scream. Shockingly, as the creature drew near, it tried to stop. It almost fell over at it tried to avoid her. In the blink of an eye, it had been grabbed around the neck by a dark shadow. "GOT YOU!" Severus screamed triumphantly. "Now give it back!"

What Penelope now realised was a huge stag started shaking its head, trying to shake Severus off. Severus made a very impressive show of not letting go, clinging with surprising strength to the stag's neck. "Penelope!" he yelled, as he was swung violently through the air. "Throw _Finite Incantatum_!"

"What! Why?" Penelope shouted.

"Just do it!" Severus demanded as the tosses became even more violent.

"_Finite Incantatum_!" Penelope shouted, pointing her wand at Severus and the stag.

Suddenly the stag started twitching and turning, shrinking fast. Severus still didn't let go. Penelope gasped; Severus was now firmly gripping a young, messy-haired Gryffindor. Severus let go with one of his arms and searched the student's pocket. The other arm maintained his hold on the boy.

"YOU SLEAZY GIT!" the unknown student yelled. "I will make you pay for that, Snivellus!"

Severus retrieved a book identical to the one Penelope had seen Spinner's office.

"Who's there?" a new voice screeched, high-pitched and male.

"Penelope, catch!" Severus threw the book the Penelope who caught it in mid-air. "Go to the common room," he instructed. "Do not look back, do not stop running and for Merlin's sake don't try to examine that book, just hide it!"

She nodded immediately and spun around to run away. She had just turned a corner when she heard Professor Spinner and Professor McGonagall arrive in the hallway where the stag-boy and Severus were fighting.

Penelope did as she was told - just ran - until she heard loud voices and fighting from one of the rooms she passed. Spinner's office. She recognised one voice in particular, even though it was swearing curses. "Regulus!" she shouted into the room. Alighting on the threshold, she saw two very similar boys tumbling about in a fist-fight. The other boy had to be Regulus's elder brother, she realised.

"Regulus, STOP!" she yelled.

"Penelope?" Regulus looked up, and failed to see the hit coming from the side. It slammed him right in the jaw.

Penelope screamed, which demanded the attention of the other boy.

"Stop it, both of you!" she cried. "Professor Spinner is coming!" At once both boys scrambled to their feet and ran for the door.

Penelope's eyes, however, were festooned on something on the floor of the office. She quickly bounced down to pick it up.

"Hey!" Regulus's brother yelled. "Give that back!"

Regulus seemed startled and started checking his pockets. "Pen, don't do it!" he pleaded.

Penelope just shrugged and handed the little brown book to the elder Black, who reached down in his pocket and produced a book that looked exactly the same. He eyed and weighed the two leather-bound books in his hands for a moment. The three of them suddenly heard footsteps and muttering. He stuffed both books into his pocket and ran away.

"Pen, what did you do that for?" Regulus screamed, and then he ran after his brother. "SIRIUS COME BACK HERE!"

Sirius and Regulus were running through the corridors, cursing and yelling with all their might, when suddenly a new figure was in their way.

"Moony!" Sirius yelled. "Moony help me! Stun Regulus!"

"Remus!" Regulus then yelled. "You must help me, you can't let him get away with that book!"

Remus stared at the two Blacks, rapidly coming closer and closer. He gulped and drew his wand, raising it slowly, looking back and forth between the two brothers, who were still yelling at him for help. He had only a vague idea of what was going on, and even less of an idea of which brother to help.

Slowly he raised his wand, considering a great number of charms and hexes.

Then he took a step to the side and simply let the two Blacks pass him, watching them as they disappeared around the corner.

Penelope was also running. She ran as fast as her short, skinny legs could carry her. Since the boys in front of her had turned left she decided to turn right. She never got the chance. A figure suddenly loomed in her way; she stopped up, shocked. "Remus!" she sighed, relieved, when the shabby Gryffindor came into view.

"Penelope!" He was even more bewildered than she. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing here, what are you doing here?" Penelope panted.

"Looking for my friends. They weren't at the Great Hall," he breathed.

"They wouldn't happen to be one Sirius Black and a guy with glasses who can transform himself into a stag?" Penelope asked.

Remus gave her a sharp, surprised look, but after a moment he nodded.

"Well, stag-boy was in a fight with Severus, but got caught by Professor Spinner in the hallway. Sirius was in a fight with Regulus, and last I saw they were headed north. Not to mention, THERE'S A BLOOMING TROLL ON THE LOOSE AND WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!" She grabbed Remus's sleeve and began to drag him off to the right, in the direction of the dungeons.

"Where are we going?" Remus exclaimed, resisting her.

"Slytherin common room, you dimwit! I have no idea how far away the Gryffindor rooms are, but as the Slytherin dungeon is close I am guessing they're further away. Come _on,_ it's dangerous to run in the corridors alone!"

Sirius was running as fast as he could, but unfortunately that wasn't fast enough to lose Regulus, who, despite having slightly shorter legs, had the advantages of a delicate build that was made for fast running. Regulus even had enough air to yell continuously at Sirius in a very loud voice. "GIVE ME THAT BOOK!" was the most common phrase, though phrases such as "Stupid bastard!" "Filthy blood traitor!" and "Betrayer!" were also among his favourites. Sirius was not slow to retort, though his words went more along the lines of "Snake," "Spoiled brat," and "Sleazy sniffing git!"

Sirius felt the two books weighing down his pocket, and was satisfied knowing that he must have the original one. After all, he had been the first one to enter the office and the one to lift the original guarding spell on the book that had burned his fingers. Now, as he neared the Gryffindor tower, he had another problem. He had to think of some way to lose his little brother. This task was rather difficult, as the brat was quite persistent and sharp.

"Holy shit!" Sirius exclaimed suddenly. It wasn't aimed at Regulus. Sirius almost hadn't seen the… thing… in front of him. Now it made him jump in surprise. The foul stench of rotten troll breath filled Sirius's nostrils as the creature turned around.

"Crap!" Regulus cursed as he saw the thing that towered over both of them.

"Come on, this way!" Sirius yelled, gesturing for Regulus to follow.

The troll began to stamp in their direction. They turned into another corridor and Sirius shouted the password – "WEAVER!" – long before they reached the Fat Lady. The portrait was wide-open by the time they reached it, allowing Sirius to jump into the common room headfirst and for Regulus to follow.

Now that they were safe, Regulus didn't waste any time throwing himself at Sirius. "GIVE ME THOSE BOOKS!" he shouted.

"NEVER!" Sirius shouted back and they tumbled on the floor of the Gryffindor common room, sparking much commotion among the Gryffindors.

"You self-serving, arrogant bastard!" Regulus cursed, holding Sirius's neck in a stranglehold.

"I might say the same thing about you!" Sirius hissed, grabbing his brother's shoulder and rolling around so Regulus was beneath him.

"STOP IT!" a female voice cried. "BLACK STOP IT!" It was Lily's voice. "Everybody, help, they are hurting each other!"

Suddenly several hands grabbed Sirius from behind and dragged him away from Regulus by sheer force. Several other hands were doing the same to Regulus. "GIVE THEM TO ME!" Regulus demanded, struggling.

"Why? They are not yours!" Sirius shouted back.

"They aren't yours either!"

"Guys, stop it!" Lily pleaded, standing between them. "What books?"

"That is none of your business," Sirius stated firmly, looking positively mad and staring at the redhead. Lily stared furiously right back at him, with burning green eyes.

"Oh, but I think it is, Black," she sneered. "Hand them over!" she demanded, right in his face.

The Gryffindors let Sirius go. He slowly reached into his pocket and took out the two small books. He made to hand them to Lily before he quickly swung his wand and yelled, "_Vanishio_!" The two books vanished into thin air.

Lily gaped at him as her face fell. A moment later she composed herself. "YOU IDIOT!" she hissed. "Do you have any idea what you just did?"

"Yeah." Sirius cocked his head. "Made sure you're not getting your hands on them so you can give them to your precious snivelling boyfriend."

"Take that back!" In the blink of an eye, Lily's wand was drawn and trained on Sirius.

"What? So you're too ashamed to admit that he's your boyfriend?" Severus snorted as he drew his own wand.

"No," Lily answered flatly. "But I won't hear you call him Snivellus one more time! He has become a stronger, wiser, more loyal, _better_ person than you or you friends will ever be, Black!" she spat. "He is a real friend, more than I can say about you!"

"STOP THIS AT ONCE!" A seventh-year prefect suddenly stepped between the two. "Lily, I am surprised at you." The prefect shook his head. "What will McGonagall say?"

Lily scowled as she retracted her wand. Sirius did the same. The pair were still sending each other looks fit to kill.

"Come on, Reg." Lily nodded at Regulus. "Let's go somewhere he can't bother us until you can get back to the Slytherin common room." She collected Regulus by the sleeve and led him up the stairs leading to the girls' dormitory, murmuring the password that allowed a boy to follow a girl into the room.

Once they were in the dormitory, Regulus slumped onto the nearest bed. "So close," he whispered.

"Reg, are you hurting?" Lily asked as she moved closer. "You look awful."

Regulus felt sore all over and he heard ringing in his ears. He could swear that he had a black eye; his left eye was thrumming with pain and his vision seemed somewhat blurred. "I had it," he mumbled. "Just for a moment. I had it."

"What do you mean?" Lily sat down with a piece of wet linen and started wiping off the blood on Regulus's face. Regulus tried to turn away, but she gripped him on the chin and forced his face back. As much as cleaning the wounds might hurt, she was determined to make sure he was okay. He decided to just let the infernal woman have her way. After all, he knew he was hurt.

"The office," Regulus explained. "And the book. Spinner's office. It seems like there were more people with the same plan, but Sirius got there first. When we were fighting I switched our books without him noticing." Regulus sighed. "Then I dropped it and Penelope picked it up, just to give it to Sirius without a second thought." He sighed an even deeper sigh. "Why would she do that?"

Penelope was one of the Phoenix Fighters who set up a protective front around Remus. The other Slytherins seemed ready to kill him on the spot for entering their common room. This was probably the first time the Phoenix Fighters had collected themselves like this outside of a meeting or a training session. It was a worthy cause.

When Severus walked into the common room, he quickly met Penelope's eyes. She nodded to him. Slughorn, walking in after Severus, announced to the room that the school was now both firework and troll free. Remus sighed in relief and headed for the exit, receiving an odd look from Severus. He shrugged in return.

When Slughorn had left, Severus took five long steps over to Penelope and bowed down to whisper in her ear. "Do you have it?"

Penelope hesitated. "Not exactly…"

"What do you mean?" Severus hissed, looking more terrified than she had ever seen him. Penelope felt her mouth go dry.

"Well, I got a book, but it's not precisely the same book that you gave me."

"Explain!" Severus demanded, suddenly looking rather scary.

Penelope gulped, intimidated, and fought against the urge to take a step backwards. "Well, I was on my way to the common room when I saw Reg and his brother fist-fighting in the office- Professor Spinner's office, I mean. I told them the teachers were coming and they got up, and I noticed one of them had dropped a book, and it looked exactly like the one you had given me, only…" she shivered. "The book on the floor felt kind of alive when I touched it, it was like I could feel the magic in it. So I switched the books." She looked nervously at Severus. "Did I do wrong?"

Severus sighed a breath of relief. "No. You did just right. I thought something was wrong when I took the book; it was far too easy and it didn't feel magical." Severus paused and looked her hard in the eyes. "Hand it over."

Penelope reached a shaking hand into her pocket and slowly retrieved the little black leather-bound diary. Severus quickly snatched it away and hid it in his own pocket.

"What is that thing?" Penelope asked nervously. "It's like it was whispering to me, like it didn't want me to hand it over."

Severus sighed. Afterwards he would have no idea what had possessed him to tell her. Even in the moment he didn't know why he was going to tell her. He supposed he wanted to reward her somehow, to put trust in her, as she had indeed proved herself worthy. "All right, listen," he breathed. He dragged Penelope far away from the other Slytherins and put silencing spells around them. He steadied himself.

"That diary is Voldemort's," he told her simply.

Thin tendrils of fear gripped Penelope, but she didn't look away.

"There's a piece of Voldemort's soul in the diary. It's a plan of his to become immortal. He's split his soul into several pieces and put them into objects. Now he is immortal for all intents and purposes, as killing his body won't really kill him." Penelope nodded, wide-eyed. "That is unless..."

"You destroy all the soul pieces first," Penelope finished.

"Listen, you can't tell this to anyone! It is _crucial _that this remains secret. There are only five people in the world who know about these objects: myself, you, Lily, Dumbledore, and Voldemort."

Penelope felt the fear again at the mention of Voldemort, but she nodded, determined and headstrong. "I won't breathe a word."

"You'd better keep that promise, Miss Pauperitt," Severus warned. "If you don't, you will betray everything I stand for, everything I work towards. I mean not a word, not even to your mother, or your best friend, or your pet cat, no one. _You hear me_?"

"Yes, sir!" Penelope almost squeaked.

Satisfied, Severus nodded, cancelled the silencing spell, and rose up to let Penelope go. It was only after she had darted up to the girls' dormitory that he noticed. She had called him "sir." As amusing as it was, it didn't feel quite right. He had probably scared her. He sincerely hoped she would be back to calling him Severus by the morning. To have her call him "sir" was just wrong. Severus snorted slightly when he realized how often he had admonished students to call him "sir" in the past. Now he was positively unhappy when a student called him "sir"!

The small book felt heavy in his pocket. Now he also could hear the whisperings. They drew him to it, demanding him to open it. But Severus, utilizing all his training in occlumency, ignored the whispers. He would have to find a safe hiding place for the horcrux, and fast. He could not just walk around with it, especially not in Spinner's classes, and he could not just leave it in his dorm. Sighing, he crawled under his bed and whispered a charm that made a hole in the floor. He carefully placed the book inside and then covered the hole. Finally, he charmed the spot so that no magic could be traced around it. The simple hiding place would have to do for now. He did not dare keep the object on his person any longer and let himself be tempted by the dark object.

One horcrux found. He had no idea how many there were to go.

* * *

_This is sadly the last chapter having been beta read by Magesa, who was beyond wonderful and did amazing work. I can never thank her enough. _


	19. the aftermath

A grumpy James was escorted by McGonagall back to the Gryffindor common room. That was the second time in less than two weeks he had been caught by the teachers; it was a way below his own standards.

Technically, he hadn't done anything wrong this time. It wasn't exactly past curfew yet, though he still had been caught in a fist fight with Snape, which was enough to land him in detention with Spinner. _Again_.

The last detention hadn't been a walk in the park. To sit and polish dark detectors James supposed had been fine enough, even though the majority of the objects had tried to bite or incarcerate his fingers or even tried to blind him. The real pain in the arse had been Spinner's incessant bubbling during the sessions. He'd constantly talk about how James' blood purity made him a superior wizard. Remus had also made a similar experience with Spinner, only with Remus he had talked about how his condition would cause him to be shunned by the common witch and wizard, and he therefore should seek for higher power and protection.

_Hogwash and bullshit_ was what they both had agreed upon rather loudly.

He genuinely felt it was not possible to feel any grumpier than he did at the moment. However, when he entered the common room and his eyes landed on Sirius, he began to doubt that theory. Sirius looked like he was about to explode or even better yet, it looked like a bomb had exploded on him. He was a complete mess, his robes and hair were dishevelled and dirty, his face full of bruises and his nose looked rather broken. His right eye was sporting a nasty blue shiner and there was even blood dripping from his lip. He quickly turned away to hide the horrible sight from McGonagall, whose sharp eyes were scanning the room.

"I think you all will be happy to know that the school is now troll-free," McGonagall announced to the room.

James swallowed. The troll hadn't been far from their common room. He and McGonagall had come upon it and she simply knocked the creature out with two flicks of her wand, before calling for backup to get the troll out of the school grounds. James already knew you shouldn't underestimate McGonagall, since she was a very powerful witch, but that had been truly impressive!

"However, you will have to stay here for the time being, seeing as we have no idea how it entered the school," she continued. "The classes are going to resume in the morning of course. Until then, a good night to you all." She took one last stern glance at everyone before making her exit.

"What the heck has happened to you?" James asked sitting down next to Sirius.

Sirius sent him a look that could kill. "The first person who went into the office", Sirius paused, "it was Regulus."

"No it wasn't," James protested rather confused. "I admit I couldn't see who went in, but I definitely saw Snape coming out."

"He got in through the wall," Sirius explained.

"What? So both Regulus _and_ Snape were in there?" James asked stunned. "Who else could get inside? Could Hagrid fit in too?"

"Your sense of humour never ceases to amaze me," Sirius grumbled sourly. "Yeah, Regulus came in first and we both ended up hiding under the desk, since a third person we didn't know arrived. After a while, we've realised it was Snape and I wanted to do my part, but Reg wouldn't let me, probably wanting to help his git of a Slytherin friend."

"Snape came out with the book, but I managed to grab it," James continued the tale. "We ended up in a fight and he threw the book to some girl, who got away with it, while we were caught by the teachers, seeing as Snape just wouldn't let go of me."

"Tough luck mate," Sirius nodded in commiseration, though he didn't seem very sorry, more like still grumpy.

"Where's Wormtail?" James asked suddenly looking around.

"Probably still somewhere in Spinner's office," Sirius shrugged. "Well, at least he has stayed out of the way."

"What about Moony?"

"I have no idea. I think I might have seen him when I was running away from that idiot Regulus, but I don't know where he's now."

"And your brother?"

"With Lily," Sirius hissed through clenched teeth. "There was a troll outside and I couldn't just leave them to fight it alone." He cursed under his breath. "But you know those two seemed pretty friendly to me."

The colour left James' cheeks. "What? Regulus and Lily? Why would they be friendly? I mean... I know they're in that blasted tutoring group together but still."

"Mate," Sirius seemed less grumpy and more concerned now. "I think it's time you got over her."

"What do you mean?" James lifted an eyebrow.

"Her and Snape," Sirius sighed. "She said they were... together."

"What? You're lying!" James anger flared up all of a sudden.

"Wow, easy mate," Sirius tried to placate him. "Okay, she didn't say it word for word, but it was pretty damn close." He shook his head sadly. "It sounded like she really admires him. Prongs, they're barely seen apart. You can't deny this anymore," he implored looking him in the eyes.

James' face contorted in pain and he looked away. Peter chose this very moment to come tumbling through the portrait hole. He saw Sirius and James immediately and made his way towards them, but one look at their faces was enough to keep him quiet.

After a while Remus entered the common room. "Woah," he uttered staring at Sirius. "That doesn't look to good, mate." He sat down in front of him looking him over. "Are you okay?"

"No," Sirius answered flatly.

"Oh," Remus cleared his throat. "Do you want me to fix some of that for you? I don't think a broken nose is any good for your image."

Remus was very skilled with healing spells. He had gotten special training at an early age, as well as taken private lessons from Madame Pomfrey in order to heal himself quickly after each full moon. It came in handy in everyday situations as well obviously.

"If you don't mind," Sirius didn't smile looking at Remus with annoyance instead, as if everything was his fault.

With some well practised swishes of his wand Remus fixed the nose first, then lessened the swelling of the eye until the bruises disappeared entirely.

"Is there anywhere else you're hurt?" Remus asked.

"Everywhere," Sirius complained.

Remus sighed heavily. "In this case you might want to go to the hospital wing in the morning. I'm not Madame Pomfrey you know."

"Why the hell didn't you help me back there?" Sirius suddenly blurted. "You just stepped aside!"

"What did you want me to do? Hex you? Hex your brother? Maybe I should have just bound the two of you," he responded sounding tired. "And it did look like a private fight to me."

"Moony, you are my friend you know that," Sirius glared at Remus, "but you need to decide whose side you're on."

"No!" Remus stated firmly. "You need to realise that there are no sides."

"Well, clearly there are," James spluttered.

"Only because you keep making them!" Remus retorted. "Severus just wants to be left alone! You're the ones attacking and eavesdropping on him!"

"See, you're taking his side again!" Sirius pointed out.

"I'm not!" Remus' anger was beginning to grow.

"Yes, you are!" James almost yelled.

Remus pointed an accusing finger at him. "Are you making things up again that simply aren't there? Last time you've insisted I was brainwashed and now I'm taking a side to deliberately hurt you? What the hell is wrong with you guys?"

"The question is rather what's wrong with _you_!" James retorted angrily.

"I've had enough of this," Remus stood up. "You need to calm down and start to at least think, James, Merlin forbid to grow up! That goes for the rest of you too," Remus nodded at Sirius and Peter. "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning," he said before leaving for their dorm.

"I can't believe this!" Sirius and James looked at each other mildly shocked.

"Me neither," James muttered. "Merlin, I can't wait 'till we figure all of this mess out."

"Oh look, here comes Prince Slushy," Sirius sneered when Regulus came down the stairs gracing him with a glare, before heading towards the exit.

"Looks like you got some punches in too," James commented noticing Regulus' black eye that matched Sirius'.

"Yeah," Sirius smirked in satisfaction. "This is probably the closest we've ever been." Then he chuckled. "I know this is totally strange, but I actually like the little git being like that, proves that he does have a spine after all. He didn't threaten me with mum and dad even once as he usually does." Sirius touched himself on the chin. "And his aim is not that bad."

"Your way of thinking will forever be a mystery to me, Padfoot," James sighed.

The next day in the hallways of Hogwarts James caught sight of a familiar, green robed, bespectacled girl and started after her at once. "HEY!" he yelled to her. "HEY YOU!"

Confused the girl turned around, though when she saw who it was she just turned back and started walking away quickly.

"HEY YOU, WAIT!" James yelled trying to remember her name. "PENELOPE!"

The girl stopped abruptly, only to send him a glare from behind her glasses.

"That's Pauperitt to you, Stag Boy," she corrected him dryly.

James could tell that he didn't fancy this girl that much already. "It's James Potter," he retorted coming to a halt in front of her.

"I know, Stag Boy," she shrugged.

"Don't call me that!" James hissed. "Somebody might hear you."

"Don't be paranoid, Stag Boy," Penelope rolled her eyes. "Prongs," she mocked a little as an afterthought.

James gritted his teeth. Okay, so he _really_ didn't like this girl. "It's about that actually..." James paused before continuing. "Have you told anyone?"

"No," Penelope answered flatly. "I haven't told a single soul and I'm not going to, so you can spare you breath, Stag Boy."

"Good," James sighed in relief then raised an eyebrow. "Why?" he had to ask. "I mean, you could."

"Because Severus told me not to," she explained shortly.

"Why?" James had to repeat himself feeling at a loss.

"I don't know," Penelope frowned. "Apparently he has this idea that you and your friends will be valuable in the fight against You-Know-Who in the future. He said that even though you all are idiots, we shouldn't have you thrown out of school too soon."

"Really?" James was trying hard to process this in his head.

Penelope sighed annoyed. "Anything else you wish to add, Stag Boy?" she asked impatiently.

"Yeah, stop referring to me as Stag Boy!" James snarled at her.

"On one condition."

James regarded the girl with a raised eyebrow. She seemed to be quite harmless, since she was a head or more shorter than him. Her big chocolate coloured eyes glaring at him from behind a pair of oval glasses didn't look particularly intimidating. If anything, she looked adorable. Her lithe build made James consider briefly if she was related to an elf or something. It really seemed like he had to give her only one little push to make her fall backwards on her bum, and had it not been for the green robes and the knowledge that this girl was an associate of Snape's, he would have laughed and done just that. Instead he kept watching her with apprehensive eyes.

"What?" he finally asked.

"That you stop calling Severus that name!" she hissed at him.

"What?" James blinked. "You mean Snivellus?"

"Yes!" Penelope growled. "I have no idea why anyone could call him something so... so childish," said the small girl, who had not grown in the last seconds and was therefore still reaching James only to somewhere around the chest.

"Who are you to decide what I may or may not call Snively?" James snorted.

"I swear if you don't promise that, I'll be your new shadow constantly yelling Stag Boy at you!" Penelope threatened.

"You're not serious," both of James' eyebrows flew up.

"Stag Boy!"

"What?"

"Stag Boy! Stag Boy! Stag Boy!"

"Okay, okay!" James held both his hands up. "I get it. I won't call him that anymore. Deal?"

"Good," Penelope nodded. "And if I catch you doing it, I'll be on you like a hawk, Potter." Then she softened surprisingly. "If you want you can come to one of our meetings some day, we are open to anyone. Just treat us nicely."

James was left to gape at the girl, who walked rather quickly down the corridor to catch up with her friends, almost tripping over herself.

He shook his head. Those Slytherins were becoming more and more unpredictable each day that went!

And then he gritted his teeth. He had just been handed by a girl... a Slytherin girl years below himself and half his seize and none of them had drawn wands.

He simply didn't like that girl, nay, he blooming hated her already! Though... he shook his head again, if she weren't a Slytherin he would no doubt admire her.

Severus furrowed his brows when he read his morning letter.

"What is it?" Lily asked amused spreading a thick layer of butter on her bread.

"That old man," Severus ground out in annoyance. "He's one of the most stubborn people I've ever met! He simply refuses to give in to the facts! Why can't he see that using mandrake juice for the defrosting potion is better than sliced mandrake pieces? It's quite obvious, isn't it?"

Lily chuckled. "Well, I'm glad that your relationship with your grandfather is growing," she smiled sweetly. "And I'm glad you like him so much." She put her hand on his.

Severus lifted an eyebrow at her and was about to retort when a familiar voice screamed in surprise near them. His head snapped to the side along with Lily's to see what could have caused Penelope's outburst. They saw her fall violently on her bum keeping back her tears. A handsome fourth-year Hufflepuff towered over her laughing.

"Like I would ever go out with a snake like you!" he pointed at her mockingly.

"I'm... I'm sorry," Penelope tried hard not to sob but failed. "What did I do?" she asked pleadingly. "What can I do?"

"Well," the Hufflepuff bowed down to her level, his body casting a threatening shadow upon her. "Stop being a slimy Slytherin then," he sneered cruelly.

"You know I can't," Penelope was now sobbing for real. "Why would I have to?"

Severus and Lily were just about to rise to come to her rescue when another boy pushed the Hufflepuff away.

"You, what the hell are you doing?" Regulus yelled at the boy. "What has she ever done to you?"

"Reg stop!" Penelope reached up from her position on the floor reigning in her sobs. "I haven't meant it to be like this. We shouldn't fight with the other houses!"

Hesitating Regulus looked back and forth between Penelope and the Hufflepuff, before he just sent an evil glare at him and crouched down to embrace the sobbing girl.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Did he hurt you?"

"Only my dignity," Penelope tried to be humorous, but it didn't work since she was crying into Regulus' shoulder.

"Everything alright here?" Lily bent down to lightly touch Penelope on the shoulder. "That mean berk," she muttered.

"Don't... please," Penelope implored looking at her red eyed. "I really like him."

Regulus looked up. "They met during the summer vacation outside of school. He had no idea that she was a Slytherin and when he has found out he stopped talking to her."

"He was really nice to me," Penelope sobbed into Regulus' shoulder again. "No one has been so nice to me before." She started hiccupping. "I thought... I thought maybe I could show him that just because you are a Slytherin it doesn't mean you're mean or evil, since I'm obviously not."

"Well he wasn't nice to you now, was he?" Regulus asked rubbing circles on Penelope's back. "Please, just forget him. He's not worthy of you."

"You're... just... trying... to... placate... me," Penelope hiccupped.

Severus was so glad he didn't have to deal with any of that. He was horrible at that sort of thing and was only too happy to blend into the background, where he didn't have to be social and probably end up yelling his head off in annoyance.

Finally Penelope was hoisted to her legs by Lily and Regulus, who also helped her to get going. That was when Severus heard her sobbing... "How could I've been so wrong? It was all for nothing... I should just stop trying."

He could not help the strange kind of anger flaring up inside of him and so he rose to block her way. "Penelope Paurperitt," he hissed dangerously. "Shut up! Don't you dare and say another word!"

Startled Penelope looked up at him, tears flowing from her eyes. "But... but..." she stammered.

Severus shook his head. "You have no idea what you've accomplished, have you? When we've started this tutoring group at the beginning of the year, have you imagined we would come as far as we did? I for my part haven't."

Penelope could only stare at him in shock.

Severus smirked amused. He was terrible with words indeed, yet he still felt like having a lot to say to her; that her creation was wonderful and he could surely never have done anything like that on his own; that she had actually prevailed where so many had failed before or not even bothered to try. She was magnificent. He tried to tell her that with his soft gaze and his small smile while shaking his head. He had already said more than he usually would.

Penelope looked away embarrassed.

"It was a slip, I do realise that," Severus sighed. "Come on, I have a place I wanted to show you. I thought it might be a good location to move the Phoenix Fighters to."

The dust lay in thick layers across the room swirling up every time Severus, Lily, Penelope or Regulus made a motion. Yet it was enormous and just what they were looking for.

"It's brilliant," Penelope uttered amazed as she whirled around disturbing the dust even more. "We just need to spend a weekend cleaning it and it'll be perfect!"

"Thought you might like it," Severus nodded when Penelope and Regulus moved further in to explore the other end.

"Sev, this is amazing," Lily smiled wandering around, looking at the room. "I don't think even the Marauders are going to bother looking for this place."

"Thank Merlin," Severus sighed. "They have become quite a pain lately, if you don't mind me saying so."

"Not at all," Lily shook her head. "Poor Remus, he spends half the time being angry at them and the other half feeling guilty that he's scolding them." She sighed. "For his sake I hope they'll grow up soon."

She was standing right in front of him, only a few inches away. Her lavender scent was once again dominating the air together with her body heat. She lifted her arms and put them around his neck. "Sev, last summer," Lily started in a soft voice. "I have asked you what you wanted... you never really answered."

Severus lifted an eyebrow fighting the awareness of how close she was standing. "I recall I've said I wanted to do the right thing."

"And you are," Lily breathed. "But that isn't telling what you want. I mean... being completely selfish and human, what do you really want?"

Hesitating, Severus wrapped his arms around her and looked down, the words escaping him before he could even form them properly in his mind. Lily's green eyes looked at him both innocently and insistently. _Tell me what you want!_ They demanded. He could not bring himself to put it into words and was just left to stare at her, pulling her closer against his will. He was stunned when Lily's hand found its way into his hair and drew his head down to her level to meet him in a kiss.

Severus could feel his insides melting and his awareness disappearing into the touch of their lips; the smell of lavender and Lily's warmth were overwhelming him, making him lightheaded; happiness unfolded in his chest spreading through his entire body like electrical charge. He could not help but put his own hand on Lily's neck to caress her hair and hold her in place.

When he pulled back there was only one way to describe how Severus was feeling. He was so very much in love. He caressed her soft chin gently and drew his hand through her hair, observing her green eyes before stealing another kiss. He was drowning in her scent. Everything beside Lily was lost on him at that moment.

That was probably why he hadn't noticed Penelope and Regulus chuckling when they left the room hand in hand. It might also be why Severus, for the first time ever in the recorded history of Hogwarts, came too late for anything. He couldn't even feel embarrassed about it sheepishly entering their potions class, tightly holding onto Lily's hand.

Had he been a teacher he would have been furious, but right now he didn't care. Slughorn was, if anything, delighted and took it well. Potter on the other hand seemed like he had just bitten into a lemon while Black patted him on the shoulder sympathetically.

_Shower me in compliments and I might not believe you._

_Criticise me and I might be scorned. _

_Support me and I will never forget you._

_Love me and I might be forced to love you back._


	20. The irish incident

House elves probably had to be one of the biggest blessings the wizarding world could offer. Penelope had taken the liberty to asking the house elves if they would possibly help fix up the new location for their Phoenix Fighter evenings to which they had graciously, and eagerly, complied.

It only had to last a single night before the place was dust free. Now, a big empty space was what was inviting the students inside.

Gaping, they strode around inside of the giant empty room, looking at the big window with a view over the Forbidden Forest. Due to excitement for their new Phoenix Fighter head quarters, they began to practice instantly.

Students gathered in pairs across the room. As was custom in their particular club, they teamed up with someone new, and most likely not someone from their own house. It was one of their unspoken rules.

They spent the first half hour practising the _impedimenta_ and _protego_ charms. Then they gathered for Severus to instruct them in a new charm, one of his own inventions to the great excitement of the students. It really was quite ironic how happy they were to be taught and how much they could listen in their unofficial school hours, especially to him, none the less. He'd never gotten this much attention in his past school classes.

"Observe." he told them as he flicked his wand first at a book, and then waited a little for it before flicking his wand at a role of parchment, to at once having the two items switch place.

"Well what's the use of that?" Matthew Flint asked. "I mean.. it's not very impressive is it?"

"Brute force is only so rarely a key." Severus told them. "What counts more is how you use your brain, often a person never uses such minor charms as this is, but using them wisely will result in besting anyone who just shoots stunners, confringos, fiend fire or other crude, violent explosive charms around them."

"That doesn't make any sense." Regulus furrowed his brows. "I was always told to go as advanced as I could, doesn't that make more sense? Shouldn't we learn some real fighting moves? Isn't that of more use?"

"Not likely, it's only that more rarely you can actually use it at all, and if you just use your brain you wont ever have to succumb to fiend flames, if you ever do use brute force in a fight or mission, it's a sign that you have worked yourself up into a corner, which is a result of poor planning and dimwitted actions. If it is not used as a last resort, it is just foolishness, and I doubt any such dunderhead can even control it." Severus snapped. "Imagine, I am out in the field searching for a specific object. This object is important for both sides and to regain it can safe lives, it will probably even be a blow towards the enemy. However as I find the object is well guarded, I could choose to barge in using brute force. But why would I do that-" he smirked. "when I remembered to bring a copy of the object and then just switched them from a safe distance so no one thinks I was ever near the object? That is sure to give the enemy a head ache, in fact, they may even begin to fight amongst themselves and become suspicious towards each other" he smiled an evil smile. "To degrade and collapse them from within, it's indeed the most effective and sure way to slaughter your enemy. The practical use of this charm is limitless, all it takes from you is a bit of insight, use your heads!"

"Oh..!" Several students looking wide-eyed at him exclaimed, and then all hell broke loose as everyone wanted to have a go at the charm and they darted to their school bags to gather objects they could practice with.

Their curiosity and appreciation even made Severus enjoy these sessions. This form of teaching was much different from any normal school classes. Students could come and go as they pleased. They could also do as they pleased. If they wanted to sit and talk or practice, it was up to them but, surprisingly enough, many actually wished to practice and eagerly asked questions. He had always prided himself of keeping quiet in a classroom, yet this wasn't a classroom; it was something entirely different, which was probably why Severus could enjoy it so much more. Also, here there was no need to grade or rate any of them, so he needn't look forward to assigned papers.

"I think I've got it!" Lily smiled, as she flicked her wand to let a quill and a inkwell switch places.

"I expected no less from you." Severus smirked.

"Thanks!" Lily smiled brightly. "But it will get more difficult the larger the mass, right?" She asked.

"A little, yes." Severus admitted. "But it isn't that much, you should be able to do it with something twice your size without problems."

Lily smiled fondly at him. "It sure is handy." and she grinned. "I like this spell a lot more than Levicorpus!"

"I am not so sure.." Severus hesitated. "If the marauders ever got a hand on it.."

"Merlin, they could make your school back switch place with the Giant Squid!" Lily realized.

"Keep quiet." Severus hushed her. "We need not spread any ideas." He mumbled, actually giving a short glance over his shoulder, as if he had suspected one of the marauders to pop up out of thin air.

Lily chuckled, and turned around to do the charm again, only to discover that half the quill was suddenly stuck to the inkwell, so they had somehow merged. she frowned lightly.

Severus shook his head. "I think you were a bit too quick and over excited there, relax, quite frankly your stance and wand movements could also use a little work. Allow me to show you." he moved close behind her where gently, he grabbed her wrist with his right hand and her waist with his left. "Relax" he told her. "You're stiff as a board, meaning you'll topple more easily, see." Lightly, he pushed her, making her fall over if it weren't for the fact that he caught her immediately after. "Relax your knees, bend them a little so you waver. That's it. Now, when I push you..." he did it again, only harder and more roughly. "You sway back to the starting position without having to waste any energy on it." She did, and he needn't catch her. "No one can push you over when you stand like that, and you yourself are able to react and move more quickly, dodging hexes are a lot more easy if you just stand correctly. Hey, what are you doing?" he asked and then pushed his hand on the middle of her back forcing her to straighten up. "Straighten that back! I said slightly bend your knees not your entire body, straighten up Lily! No!" he suddenly commented. "Now your to tense, you don't want your shoulders to touch your ears like that, it's no good for you and it looks silly! Relax."

Lily laughed, genuinely amused. "Like this?" she asked, doing as she was told.

"Exactly, and now your wand hand." he guided it for her, his hand lightly resting on top of hers which held her wand. "It needs to be more loose, do not grip your wand like that. Let it rest in your fingers and do it's own purpose. Remember what I told you about chess? Don't focus on the details, relax your mind, visualize it from a wider, outside perspective. Just observe and do. Relax. see how the wand is almost falling out of your hand, yet it won't, because you have such control of it, the wand belongs to you, it wont run off." He spoke in a gentle tone. "It doesn't enjoy when you cling it so that your knuckles turn white. That keeps the magic from flowing freely. That is right! good work!" he almost grinned. "Now try and transfigure that inkwell into a mouse."

"What!" Lily immediately tensed, spoiling everything as she turned around to look at him. "But I suck at transfiguration, you know that! I never managed to transfigure inanimate objects into animate beings!"

"Trust me." Severus told her. "Everything is easier when you relax and just do what you did before." and he took her again and guided her back to position, holding her shoulder from behind as he leaned down so his mouth were right beside her ear. "I said relax." he said as he felt how suddenly tense she was beneath his hand. "Lily close your eyes, take a breath, stop for a second, now focus and relax! remember to bend those knees a little, feel how you stand firmer on the ground."

Although Lily was obviously still more tense than before, she did what she was told, and swallowed as she was about to open her mouth.

"No." Severus suddenly cut in before she had a chance to utter the spell needed. "Don't speak, do it non-verbally!"

"What!" Lily gaped. "You want me to do a spell I suck the most at, non-verbally! Just like that?"

"Non-verbal spells are not hard, and it is what you should do per reflex with any spell! The trick is to relax and let it flow rather than to try and force it." he instructed. "Now do it, I know you can." he told her, while holding her in such a way, his hand back on her waist and the other on her wand hand, so he had ensured she at least stood right.

Lily swallowed nervously and flicked her wand at the inkwell, to suddenly have it grow legs, white fur, and a tail so it ran around emitting screeching noises.

Severus shook his head. "You were too tense." he told her.

"Well." Lily looked fascinated at the odd inkwell, which now made a couple of Pheonix fighters jump up frightened as they stared wide-eyed after it. "It's a lot further than I ever managed before, it's actually alive!"

Severus sighed. "Try again. Relax this time." Again, he supported her. "Lily, you're as rigid as a board, this is not good for your shoulders, get them down. There! Okay, now have a go."

Sighing, Lily flicked her wand at the weird inkwell again, and to her utter amazement, saw it turn into a white mouse, ears, eyes, whiskers and all! So it ran across the room to disappear beneath the door unto freedom. "wow." she looked wide-eyed after it. "Did I just successfully transfigure a dead object into a living object?" she asked disbelieving. "and non-verbally!"

"Evidence does seem to point that way doesn't it?" Severus smirked, feeling very satisfied with himself.

Lily turned to him as she smiled a bright smile. "Liar!" she suddenly stated.

Severus looked surprised at her. "What do you mean?" he confused tried to figure where such an accusation could come from, what had he done now?

"You told me." She looked at him. "That you were not teachers material! and you couldn't stand teaching!"

"Yes I did." Severus acknowledged, and she wrapped her arms around his neck so she leaned up towards him while smiling at his face.

"Liar!" she stated again, though still with that bright smile in place. "You are a wonderful teacher, as long as you yourself want to be."

Severus could fell the blood rushing to his head as he embarrassedly looked down. "Thank you..." he muttered.

Lily chuckled. "The great Severus Snape, a rather modest individual when you come down to it. Who would have thought?" she asked, and rewarded him with a kiss before letting go, leaving him in that weird dazed state only she could bring him to. Then she sighed. "I was wondering, have you seen Penelope? I think she would love this."

"No, I haven't." Severus mentally shook his head to get back to his professional self. He scanned the room for the young Slytherin, but she didn't seem to be anywhere. Also, Regulus kept looking rather worried himself.

Lily sighed as she moved along, though feeling warm and happy inside. "You know." Bertha Jorkins, one of her dorm mates, suddenly commented. "I would never have guessed, but that's really a gem you found yourself there."

"I know." Lily flashed a smile. "Isn't he wonderful!"

"Sure is!" Bertha looked enthralled at Severus as he instructed some second year students. "Oh Lily, you have all the best ones chasing your skirts, how do you do it?"

"Lucky I guess." Lily shrugged as she looked adoringly at Severus. He was now smirking as a group of students had very successfully mastered the charm, apparently also none-verbally.

"You know.. I am sorry." Bertha looked a little red cheeked. "I told you to get away from him, the things I said about him.. But you were right.. Merlin's beard! Had you told me half a year ago he could be this dreamy I would have thought you had lost your marbles."

"Well if you ask me," Emmeline interjected, "he was a rude and arrogant person but.." she glanced at him. " He's just proved that people can indeed change and do better." she straightened up. "I'm very glad to have witnessed such a great example. Indeed, it's very inspiring."

Lily had to refrain from rolling her eyes. If there was one person even more formal and strict than Sev, it would just have to be Emmeline, and if you should trust anyone to be a flutter girl, more obsessed about who is a dream boat than the next essay, it would have to be Bertha, and these were Lily's two best friends aside from Severus! It was kind of amusing actually. She sighed happily, her friends approved of her boyfriend, and she was so in love with the man. Life was good!

"I was wondering Severus." Remus casually asked. "If you categorised the charm, what would it be?"

"Dark Magic." Severus shrugged.

Remus lifted an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

Severus sighed. "Yes, as is Levicorpus, muffliato, and the others, though they are obviously harmless. Dark magic is in reality just the common name tag for anything not categorised as something specific yet, something not yet explained. Dark creature is a name tag stuck on any magical being that happens to have a defence mechanism, as any ordinary animal should have, as any human should have. Attack a tiger and it's your own fault that you've lost your hand, such is the case with any dark magical creatures, such is the case if you don't understand the spell you are using. Most dark magic is exactly so dangerouse because neither the user nor the victim understand it properly. You of all people should know that."

Remus blinked at him, looking a little stunned. "I see." he mumbled. "But there are spells that really are dark. As in dark, dark.. I mean.. you know?"

"Of course I do." Severus rolled his eyes. "And yes there is, if you ever run into a user of such spells or objects you would know it." he turned a little hesitant. "It has curious sideffects to the witch or wizard frequently using them, making them appear.. odd.. sort of unnatural." He zoned out. "You would feel put-off by them, knowing by instinct that there is something wrong with them." He sighed. "But nothing is just black and white. Real dark magic is multi-faced as it is, though as far as naming goes, it often just comes down to what has been investigated and explained and what hasn't, It's only so rarely truly dark." Severus looked thoughtful, and noted they were far removed from everyone else. "It's a bit interesting actually, you are a dark creature, and I do believe genuinely dark, but.. people are not put off by you, you have none of the usual vehemences that would emerge from a truly dark wizard, creature, or object.. hmm.. Interesting." Severus looked at Remus, intrigued. "From a scientific stand point that would have to mean that you're not truly dark, outside of the beastly natural change. Of course I don't know exactly what it is that makes the wizard appear so strange, I just know it does happen to the people messing around with the material without understanding it, it has most definitely happened to Fenrir Grayback, but not you.. very interesting."

For a moment Remus stared wide-eyed at him.

"Am I putting you off?" Severus asked as he smirked.

"Only because for a moment there, I thought you were going to dissect me." Remus blinked still looking a little wide-eyed.

Severus chuckled. "As amusing as that sounds, I would have to give it a pass."

Remus looked a little bit put-off at first, before he also gave in and just smirked, amusedly shaking his head. "You know, it's refreshing that your so matter-of-factly about my condition." Remus mused. "I actually think I like that better than Sirius doting on me and James saying it's only a furry little problem."

"I can assure you I am never ever going to refer to it as that." Severus looked lighter disgusted. "It's not a furry little problem, no way in hell am I ever going to treat it as such."

Despite himself, Remus smiled broadly. "I know. Thank you for saying so!" He sighed and shook his head. "Though, James, Siri, and Pete. They only mean it well, honestly they do!"

"Of course they do." Severus snapped. "In fact, I am very sure they don't believe they have ever done anything wrong, they always go on believing what they do is beneficial for everyone, but that just goes to prove how immature they are!" he spat. "running around with you when you're like that, and they are calling me irresponsible?" he rolled his eyes. "Honestly! Though that reminds me..." he rummaged through his pockets until he found what looked like a thick white stick, which he handed to Remus. "Seems like it's time for that nonsense next monday, but before you get too busy being stupid, please gnarl a little on this and give it to me Tuesday as soon as you can."

Remus weighed the stick in his hand as he eyed it with a lifted eyebrow. "What for?" he asked.

"I would like a sample of the beasts venom for future investigation." Severus explained. "Merlin forgive I am not going to sample it personally."

"Oh." Remus looked wide-eyed at him. "Well, of course!" he grinned. "Can I help with the experiments?" he asked, looking beyond interested.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "That would be the same as deliberately studying dark magic."

"It is?" Remus asked a little stunned.

"Obviously it is." Severus sneered. "Studying werewolves venom and it's properties is almost as dark as it gets, to go darker you would have to mess around with souls, play with death, and such like that you really don't want to get into."

Remus blinked. "Well as long as we don't get that far. I honestly don't care." Remus said truthfully. "I really want to study it." he seemed to be on the brim of begging.

"Whatever." Severus snorted. "Just don't get in the way, and as I move forward to anything that just resembles potion brewing, your better be out of the way."

"That's definitely a promise, I'm horrible at potions." Remus grinned. "This is so weird, talking about this subject so matter of factly, it's kind of great, it's... unpretentious."

"Well, for someone in your situation, your view on matter should be." Severus rolled his eyes. "To be pretentious about these or not taking these seriously makes them all the more dangerous. Even Dark wizards using real dark magic on purpose, their greatest flaw is always that they take it too lightly! And they always end up paying for such carelessness in the end." Severus instructed, animating into his own lecture. "That's the thing with dark magic, or anything dark, it's so dangerous exactly because it's handled too lightly, because people rather like to pretend and let prejudices cloud their minds than actually try to investigate and understand! It's blatantly obvious!" he exclaimed, his own passion seemingly getting the better of him. " Again I should I have thought you of all people would understand this!"

"Erh.. I guess." Remus hesitated, clearly taken a back by the lecture, but also fascinated. "Okay, maybe I have been more close minded than I should have been.. despite all situations." he embarrassedly scratched himself by the ear. "But I must admit, this is really extraordinarily fascinating!" He did seem genuinely excited and eager, like someone who was in earnest to find out more. One could almost call him glowing.

"it is fascinating!" Severus insisted, a strange light glinting in his eyes as someone else showed genuine interest in his favourite subject, and not someone who only did it for their own gain, but like Severus, genuinely wanted to learn just for the sake of learning, it sparked Severus's fire. "All those unexplored aspects of magic, figure out where the boundaries exactly go from harmless to dangerous, and how to pin point it when you see it, to what extent does each branch's capabilities go. And as Dark magic is merely unexplored magic, how would you identify which is dangerous or not, and stop the dangerous while just letting the harmless be, if you don't know what your dealing with?" Severus stated, annoyed. "it's so bloody obvious! Why explore what people already know when there are so many unknown aspects to tug into and discover. It's like that time the ministry had decided just to exterminate all green tailed fire salamanders because of their poisonous abilities, and the fact one had bitten some official in the rear, literally, only to discover that their poison is also a miracle cure for the common cold, but by then it was too late and they were practically extinct. Similar situations happen everyday simply because humans rather to dismiss than explore. That's where I have been coming from all along!"

"I see!" Remus exclaimed, his eyes shining eagerly. "honestly, more people should view it like that! it should be explored!" he seemed excited by the prospect. "All you could learn! It could really help a lot of individuals and the wizarding world in general!"

Severus smirked. "Please do carry on the message to your associates."

"Err... I kind of think they would stop by the words `Dark Magic´, and refuse to hear the explanation from that point on.. they'd just run off in rage." Remus bit his lip. "And if they got the smallest hint that I would like to know more about the subject..."

Severus smirked evily. "They'll think I have truly suceeded in turning you over to the darkness, and you have become a dark wizard who surely is going to go on working for the devil bringing destruction to the world. Congratulations with your new guilty fascination, and welcome to my world, Lupin." he smirked.

Remus opened his mouth, then thoughtfully closed it again. "You know, I would have been so much better off if I had never gotten all this insight, it would have made things a lot simpler!"

"That's the thing about being smart." Severus smirked. "You would think it would make the world simpler that you become insightful, but it just makes everything more complicated. So I guess the question is..." Severus's grin spread, looking both knowing and sadistic. "Would you prefer to take the simple route and be moronic for all of your life, or do you have the courage to open your mind to things you hadn't before considered listening to and reflecting upon, regardless of prior feelings about it. So what is it? Inane and simple, or ingenious and complicated?" he asked in a mocking tone.

Remus smiled lightly as he shrugged defeated. "I don't think I can afford to be stupid."

"I agree." Severus shrugged. And then both of them jumped out of the way as a school bag filled with books seemed to appear out of nowhere just above them, nearly hitting them as it slammed down.

Katherine, a very young Slytherin, came running as she looked wide-eyed at them. "I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed. "I don't know what happened! It was the switching spell, the bag was supposed to switch places with my book!" she frantically pointed across the room towards a book laying harmlessly by itself on the floor.

Severus shook his head. "Show to me what you did, then we'll figure it out.. I must admit that was odd." Vaguely did he note that he would most likely have been furious was this back in his old life, but he honestly just didn't felt like it now.

Katherine sighed, relieved, before she started explaining and gesturing, while Severus looked on, to quickly find the flaw which was in her wand movement, and quickly corrected it.

Suddenly, the door opened one hour into the session to showcase Penelope, who was supporting a Ravenclaw.

And that Ravenclaw.. she seemed strange, not so much her look, though that was odd too, but mostly how she was just staring blankly out into space with no apparent emotion showing on her pale face.

"Just found her hanging about in the corners of the castle." Penelope muttered. "Thought she might want to join."

The Ravenclaw student didn't respond to Penelope. She just looked into the room with bright sky-blue eyes you could see meters away. Her hair was not just red, it was nothing short of bright orange that, despite being collected in a pony tail, poked out in all sorts of directions, and like the rest of her, was a complete mess.

It was so like Penelope to just pick people up who looked alone. That was, after all, how she had collected people the first time around; that, and making odd threats.

"What's the matter with her?" Diane Diggory asked with furrowed brows.

"Didn't say." Penelope shrugged.

People started looking questioningly at the two Ravenclaws who were in the club but both shrugged.

Hesitating, Lily moved closer. "Are you all right?" she asked the girl. There was still no answer. She just stared out into the room. It was as if she hadn't even noticed that someone had been talking to her.. or that she had been dragged all the way up to a strange room by Penelope. She didn't seem to notice anything at all as she was carefully guided by Penelope and plopped down onto a bench. She didn't seem to notice that Penelope had let go to rub her obviously sore arms after having dragged the Ravenclaw for a good while.

"She was like that when I found her." Penelope muttered. "I just couldn't leave her alone." she adjusted her glasses, before Regulus was there to put an assuring hand on her shoulder and let her lean against him while she sighed in relief, to Regulus's obvious satisfaction.

Very slowly, Remus started to move closer to the Ravenclaw. He silently kneeled so he was before the girls face and gently took her hand. "What's your name?" he asked softly.

Nothing happened at first, and it seemed the girl was not going to respond to that either, but then her eyes slowly moved to Remus, and she looked wondering at him with her sky blue eyes; an orange string of hair falling down on her face. She had very round soft features and a shabby look about her but that could also be because her school robes looked wrinkled and messy as if she had slept in them or something.

"I don't believe it." Penelope whispered.

"What?" Regulus asked.

"I couldn't get her to respond at all to me." she breathed.

"Your kidding right?" Regulus asked. "I mean, you're the one who can actually handle this stuff."

Penelope blushed lightly. "Thanks."

Regulus responded by squeezing her shoulder, the two of them turning aroundto leave Remus and the Ravenclaw in peace.

Remus sat patiently on his knee in front of her, lightly holding her hand as they were still in eye contact. "My name is Remus Lupin." Remus said in a slow soft tone, rubbing the girls hands in his own. "You can just call me Remus, what may I call you?"

The girl opened her mouth slightly, with a look of wonderment and confusion directed at Remus. Her strained eyes looking directly at his expectant ones.

"Do you want to be alone?" he then asked.

The girl stared at him with wide eyes before she, in a odd jerk, looked down and blushed furiously, shaking her head, at the same time nervously bringing a hand to her head and grabbing a good portion of her bright orange hair.

"Do you want me to sit with you?" Remus then asked.

The girl didn't nod but still looked down on the floor, grabbing the hair even closer with a slight jerk.

"All right." Remus said and sat down beside the girl.

"You seriously have no idea who she is?" Lily whispered to the two Ravenclaws, one of which was a friend.

"No." the Ravenclaw shrugged. "I think she's in the year below me. They call her Carrot. Kind of a looner if you understand what I mean."

"No I don't." Lily answered.

"She's a bit strange." was the only answer.

The other Ravenclaw furrowed his brows. "O'Brian is her name?" and he shrugged. "I guess she seemed to be fine with Carrot."

"That's enough." Severus interrupted. "Lets continue with the charm, shall we?". Even he could see how rude it was to stare at the orange haired girl. If there was something he had hated when he was younger, it was to be stared at, especially when he was ill at ease as it was.

Hesitantly, they all returned to their charm, still glancing at the girl from time to time.

As curfew drew closer and the students started to leave, the girl still sat there with Remus' arm around her shoulder. At least she had started showing some emotion as her confused eyes darted across the room like she could not believe the situation she was in. Suddenly, she gasped for air, making the sound echo in the large room, before she quickly covered her mouth to look warily at Remus, afraid that small noise was enough to tick him off or something.

"Hey." Remus spoke. "It's okay."

The girl shook her head. "Nay." she flared in all of her uncertainty over the situation. "It's nay't okay." Even when only speaking those few words you could hear she had an accent, which she apparently also noticed as she quickly covered her mouth once more.

Remus gave a small smirk to the odd gesture, before smiling warmly at her. "It probably is." Remus told her. "If you just say it maybe it wont be so bad. I promise whatever it is, I won't laugh."

The change was stunning as the girl now looked mad at Remus. "Oh, I should hope nayte!" she uttered in a mad tone. "So me dad being dead is oke'! So ye'd wont to laugh at that?" she burst in a angry tone, before she widened her eyes, covering her mouth for a third time with her hands. "Sor'y!" she exclaimed, though it came out muffled as she still had her hands over her mouth, then moved them away. "I dinnae mean to yell of ye, ye have been very nice, and I can see ye mean well, ye'r eyes is to nice."

"Your dad?" Remus looked stunned at her. "What happened?"

The girl swallowed stared frightfully at Remus. "I'm sorry." she whispered in an unsure voice, staring wide eyed at him. "Ye shouldn't have to be bothered with me." she apologised in a strong Irish accent.

"Nonsense with you." Remus assured her. "It's fine. You can tell me what happened."

The girl looked doubtful at him.

"You can start with your name." he then said.

She looked apprehensively at him for a moment, nervously licking her lips. "It's Lieve." she finally answered after a pause. "Lieve O'Hara." she told on a low voice.

"From Ireland, I gather?" Remus asked gently.

"Aye. Me dad vas Irish so me mother moved up there before I vas born."

Severus hrmpfed slightly "Remus we will be leaving." Severus told him. "For your information, it is almost curfew."

"Thank you." Remus nodded.

"Come on Sev." Lily walked out while leaning her head slightly towards Severus, while Severus had an arm around her waist, looking very happy with the situation.

"Ye should be going too." Lieve pointed out. "No use keeping watch over this little troll. I can handle meself, honestly I can,"

"Sure you can." Remus smirked. "And so can I. I am one of the marauders. We know how to get around without being caught after curfew."

Lieve looked slightly intrigued at him, then swallowed, nervously clenching her hands together on her lap. "Ye'r still don't have to."

"Maybe I want to." Remus shrugged. "Don't you have anyone to go to?" he asked. "You know, a good friend, you must have someone! a nice interesting personality like you."

Lieve's face turned a little red in shame as she paused. And then she looked hopelessly at Remus, her face and eyes telling everything for her.

"Oh.." Remus murmured a little defeated. "Hey, that's why Penelope started this club in the first place, so everyone can come together and talk. You are welcome to talk to anyone here. And no one is going to dismiss you or laugh, otherwise I'll personally kick their arse."

Despite herself, a short laugh erupted from Lieve, before she shook her head. "Tha' sounds very amazing." She offered a tiny, though still unsure, smile.

"It is." Remus nodded. "Many of them didn't have any friends before they joined, even Penelope. It's probably why she's so eager to include anyone she thinks seems lonely."

"I will have to talk to her." Lieve looked to the side. "She sunds lik' a dream come tru' as me old dad would 'ave said; although e'h mostly had said it when me mom had just baked a new load of ginger breads and whatta ginger bread she can make. The secret is making the dough the day before ye bake them, ye see." she stated, illustrating with her hands. "And I need to thank Penelope for pulling me up like tha', not many would have, aya I need to thank her and.." her eyes turned to Remus. "Thanks to ye'r to, ye a very kind ye are."

Remus sighed, then smirked. At least she was an open and talkative person.

Lily was very sympathetic toward Remus. He'd still been sitting trying to jerk words out of the girl as Severus and she had left the room, which was a bit too late after curfew. Here in the morning as she saw him coming down from the boys dorms into the common room, Remus looked really tired, almost on the brink of exhaustion even. Once again, his friends were questioning him.

"Where were you?" "Were you helping Snape with something?" "What are you not telling us?"

Remus looked really grumpy around his friends. He sneered while muttering, "I was helping a friend, I told you."

Lily sighed but still walked over to him, ignoring the comments from the Marauders. "Want to follow me down to breakfast?" She asked.

"Please." Remus smiled and shook his friends off to walk with her. They all looked like they had bitten a sour lemon, especially Potter.

"Did you find out what had happened with O'Hara?" Lily asked worried.

Remus sighed. "Voldemort. What else could it be?" He looked very tired. "She kept insisting I didn't need to be there but I couldn't leave her alone." He rubbed his eyes. "Turns out that her dad was a muggleborn.. I think, it seemed a bit unclear, she didn't like talking about him, but anyway, he dared to speak down about Voldemort in a pub and so a gang of death eaters killed him. She hasn't even been allowed to come to the funeral as her mother disappeared after having gotten a fit and cursed about dementors in the middle of a town." He sighed. "Lieve have no clue what happened other than what Flitwick had told her. No one knew any of this because she doesn't have any friends on school grounds. Apparently, they're doing a rather good job of simply ignoring her so far.. she seems to be avoiding any of these questions, I had to lure it out of her and ask head on if I wanted answers." he yawned, and then looked very embarrassed by it. "But I can tell you, she knows a lot about winged horses." he muttered. "And she's really good at avoiding the questions."

Lily bit her lip. "Well, she can come to the Phoenix Fighters now, right?"

"Of course." Remus nodded. "I am going to spend the afternoon with her. I don't like the idea of her being alone."

"Do you want me to join you?" Lily asked.

"If you want but I don't think it's a good idea to bring Severus... he might scare her." Remus smirked. "And I think we are going to go down to the border of the forbidden forest, see if we can look for some bluetrolls, you know, so we have something else to do than just talking, I got the impression she likes looking after magical creatures, and as I know your boyfriend definitely doesn't enjoy these activities, it would just be adding salt to injury don't you think?" he asked.

Lily blushed lightly. "I can see what you mean." She admitted. "Though, I'm sure he won't mind. He can be over protective sometimes be he understands that I need to do other things than being with him all the time."

Without thinking, she was already heading to her usual spot at the Hufflepuff morning table where Severus was already sitting before she turned around. "Oh.. I don't think your friends will be to happy if you sit with me and Severus instead of them" she pointed out. "You don't need to be troubled."

"Lily." Remus rubbed his eyes again as he yawned. "Right now, I really don't care. I am so tired of being questioned every minute of the day. Right now, I just need breathing room." He really did look tired. "They'll probably at least come around by Monday."

"What happens Monday?" Lily asked.

Remus gritted his teeth. "Full moon." He said in a very low voice so Lily could barely hear it. "If they don't come around then it's because the world is coming to an end."

"They really worry for you, don't they." Lily breathed. "Isn't there anything I can do?" she asked.

Remus shook his head. "Unless you can convince them that you're not available and that Severus is not out to brainwash school students so he can kill them, I'm afraid there's little you can do."

"Well I can give it a shot." Lily pointed out. "It wouldn't hurt."

Severus only slightly lifted an eyebrow as Remus sat down with Lily in front of him but didn't make comments.

"We need to do something soon!" James stated Friday evening as he sat in the common room with his friends. "Where is Moony? We always spend time together on Friday."

"You think he's with Snape again?" Sirius asked. "Seriously, I have no idea what's going on."

"Me neither." James hrmpfed. "I can't even get to Snape. Firstly, he is almost never alone and, secondly, his guard is simply too high. Plus, Moony would be pissed."

"We could just leave it alone…" Peter carefully suggested, but keep quiet as he got two death glares for the trouble.

"And who the hell is that Penelope girl!" James exclaimed. "Why is she so important all of a sudden!"

"I have no idea!" Sirius bursted loudly. "I tried to find something out but I couldn't come up with anything! No prior connections; she's not of old blood. I can't find anything about her or her name in the archives. She seems pretty damn close to Reggie, though."

"Blimey, you did research." James exclaimed. "Who are you and what did you do with Padfoot?"

"She's dating my brother. I want to know who she is." Sirius crossed his arms.

"I thought you didn't care?"

"I don't."

James lifted an eyebrow. "And you're sure they are dating?"

"Please, I saw them snogging up a storm in the hallway." Sirius did sound like he was genuinly disgusted.

James sighed deeply as he slumped back, looking tired and annoyed. "Moony says she's a friend; a good person and very trustworthy."

"Who just happens to be a Slytherin?"

"I know." James grumped. "I can't figure her out. She actually invited me to a meeting in their tutoring club. She said it was an open invitation as everyone is welcomed."

"You're going?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know." James sighed. "I keep changing my mind. I can't decide. On one side, maybe it could lead to some answers but it could also be a very dumb thing to do. Plus, there's no way in hell I would want to spend time with Snape out of my own free will." James stated disgusted. "I'm sure that girl will be over me like a hawk, as well!"

"She's a fourteen year old girl. How dangerous can she be?" Sirius questioned, lightly amused.

"Very." James muttered. "When the only other person Snape is more protective of is Lily, it's dangerous."

"Speaking of which." Sirius muttered. "Sit up Prongs, the girl of your dreams is coming over."

James didn't light up at all but looked away; abashed.

"Can I have a word?" Lily asked.

None of the three boys answered so she took it as a yes and sat, uninvited, down.

"Here to protect your boyfriend?" James suddenly blurted with a sour tone.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "That is possibly the worst insult you have ever given. If it really matters that much, yes, he is my boyfriend. What about it?" and then she sighed. "Though, it's not only him I want to talk about."

"What more is there to talk about?" James asked and looked away.

"From where I stand, lots of things." She looked sternly at them. "Severus isn't the only one of my friends who constantly gets a head ache over you. When are you going to start behaving?"

"We are behaving!" James defended them.

"No you're not, Potter." Lily retorted. "Sev still has to worry about dung bombs in his bag. Penelope is constantly watching herself over the shoulder. Regulus is doing pretty much the same. You, Black," she pointed an accusing finger at Sirius. "deliberately vanished something you knew was important. It was not only important to Sev, that diary was a matter of life and death." She gritted her teeth. "Not to mention that Remus spends all his time either being angry or guilty. It's stressing him out and it's no good for him, especially considering his condition."

"So where is he now?" James asked. "Out studying dark magic with Snape?"

"For the record, he isn't. He is just helping someone who needs it badly." Lily scoffed, annoyed. "And if you had listened this morning to what he said, you would have known that! But, dear god, listen to yourselves! It sounds like you have no trust in Remus. What kind of friends are you?" she asked.

That made the boys blink and look at each other.

"We are good friends." Sirius tried to state.

"Well you're not acting like it." Lily snorted. "You're acting like a bunch of prats. Only Merlin knows why he keeps sticking up for you, because yes he still does." she rolled her eyes. "I never had any idea why he kept defending you, but now it just seems like madness to me, you're treating him like a blast-ended skrewt."

The boys went silent for a while, and then actually looked incredible embarrassed, especially James. "We'll go figure it out next time we see him." James muttered. Then he hesitated a little. "Are you and Snape really together?" he asked, his tone softer, almost pleading.

"Yes." Lily stated firmly. "You can go and tell anyone you want. I don't need it to be a secret because it's not a pity relationship. I love him." She looked sternly at them. "Is there anything else you want to have cleared up?"

James looked absolutely heart broken and looked down as he shook his head.

Lily was just about to get up when Sirius blurted. "Wait!"

She sat back down, looking at him. "What?"

"Who's Penelope and what is her relationship with my little brother?" Sirius asked.

"Why don't you just ask him?" Lily answered. "I mean, he is your brother."

Sirius looked like he had bitten part of his tongue off. "We don't speak." He muttered.

"Well that really can't be my problem." Lily snorted. "If you want to know about their relationship, go ask Regulus. From my standing point however, Penelope is one of my dear friends and one of the most mature good persons I have ever met, so you just try and stay away."

At last, all the boys nodded which made Lily give a nod in satisfaction before she went away.

James sighed as he looked at Sirius. "We need to apologise to Remus." He muttered.

"Why!" Sirius looked questioning at him. "What did we do?"

James looked annoyed at his friend. "We didn't have trust or faith in him when we should have. I mean, what is always being there for him worth when we weren't? Of course he was angry with us."

Sirius still looked doubtful but gave a nod. "I guess you're right." He muttered under his breath.

"And you know what this means." James sighed. "We need to trust Remus and he says that Snape is harmless."

Sirius looked hesitant. "You still don't trust Snape do you?"

James shook his head. "No, course not. I still think it might be an impersonator! But if Remus senses any problems, we have to show that he can come to us without feeling guilty about it." James sighed. "We can keep an extra eye out for Snape... but we can't confront him without reason. Is that a deal, padfoot?" James looked seriously at Sirius.

"Yeah, fine." Sirius still looked hesitant but complied.

"I think that sounds like a good plan." Peter sighed, relieved, only to receive a raised eyebrow from James and Sirius.

Returning to his own thoughts, James realized this was actually a life altering decision for him. He had always been the rash type who took actions immediately but now he had to choose to leave it alone for the time being for the sake of his friendships. It was a conscious choice, he just hoped that it was the right one.

The rest of November and December went surprisingly uneventful. The Marauders kept their distance and left Severus and the Phoenix Fighters alone.

Remus had been right. The Marauders had come around to him right before fullmoon, and not only that, he had confided to Lily that they'd finally sat down and talked seriously so they were now all on the same page.

Lieve was a new addition to the Phoenix Fighters, and as it turned out, in opposition to their first impression of her, a very visible one as her unaturally bright orange hair that seemed never to do anyone's bidding and would continuously poke out in all sorts of weird directions. Plus, her thick, accented voice seemed to be everywhere. It was only too obvious that she was a poor girl from the country side because she absolutely behaved like one. Her Irish accent could carry through the entire room and she loved talking and telling stories, and did so with a great smile and great enthusiams, as soon as people showed and interest and smiled she returned the smile in ten fold.

All though, often, Severus really, really wished he knew how to turn her off or make her go away; she definitely was not one of his favourite people, and he would be happy had he never met her.

It was not that she sounded unintelligent but she was random and could come up with the oddest comments, some of which nobody but her understood. Her language was so very... peasant. At least she could try and learn proper oxford English and maintain dignity, because sometimes it sincerely seemed like she had none, she was so.. so simple! Penelope, however, had taken an some-what liking to the new member and so had a lot of others, she was amusing company.. apparently.. Though, just as many found her as annoying as Severus did.

He could only be thankful that the people who did like her, people like Remus, Penelope, and Lily, took some time off to keep the girl company. It seemed she had taken the largest liking to Remus, who she loved to stand closely beside anytime could she get away with it; nervously glancing at Remus and lighting up when they started conversation. She honestly adored Remus to no end.

"Oi Remus! look at this I think I got it!" Lieve exclaimed in a wide proud grin at the phoenix fighters club raising her wand, only for Remus to swallow a little nervously.

"Lieve.. are you sure that?" Remus asked as he cleared his throat standing beside her. "It's a very complicated spell you are trying, maybe it's to hard for you at this time."

"But.. ye can do it without trouble." Lieve responded looking at Remus. "So can they." she gestured at some other phoenix fighters. "I want to learn this, I know I can do it!" she almost pleaded. "I know I can!"

Severus at that moment had decided to stand away, the irish was average at best in these classes. She really gave it her all all-right, but more often than not she would blast herself half way through the room. And also this time, Severus covered his eyes to shield them from the bang and the sharp light, he had seen coming a mile away, as Lieve was send back-wards and straight into Remus so they both tumbled down on the floor.

"Well.." Lieve blinked as she looked up from the floor. "Tha' could have gone better.."

"Let me guess." Remus rolled his eyes. "You want to try it again?"

"Aye of cause." Lieve responded not even sounding sarcastic but just so genuine.

Remus hold back a stiffle of a laughter, but then at last burst out in chuckles. "You just keep going don't you?" he asked highly amused. "You know you'll probably blast yourself away again, why not try a simpler spell?" he asked as he got up on his feets and brushed off his robe.

"I'm so used to be thrown around, it dinna matter." Lieve stated as Remus pulled her up from the floor with a helping hand.

"Even so." Remus chuckled amused. "Why not take a break? tell me about those grindylows again, that sounded interesting!"

"Oh tha Grindylows!" Lieves mouth widened in a grin. "In the stream right back behind me old house, we had to take good care of those." she stated while Remus listened genuinely interested taking her away.

It would happen often as they practised. Severus could hear their laughter and then the dreaded continued talk. One minute it was the short comings of the Ministry of Magic, the next how the old fairytale of Babbity Rabbity and her cackling stump could in fact be a true story and how the king in the fairytale would be likely to, in reality, have been Frederick the third of Denmark.

Christmas vacation moved closer and that meant another discussion with Lily. She wanted him to come home with her for Christmas vacation to which Severus said no; he was still a target of the death eaters so he didn't want to put her parents under more danger than necessary. If he was allowed to perform magic outside of school grounds, the history might be different, but he wasn't.

Of course, in the end Lily had to face reason which led them to part ways for the second time since his turn at the train station.

"You take care, Sev." Lily had both her hands around his neck.

"Of course." Severus answered. "I will be quite safe within the school grounds. It's you who must be extra careful."

"This is kind of silly discussing who's more correct." Lily amusedly pointed out.

The Hogwarts Express began making sounding its signals and Lily tiptoed to kiss him, leaving Severus a little dizzy as she ran to catch the train. They had been together but one-and-a-half months and yet Severus hadn't quite fathomed that fact yet. It was not like that much had changed. They had been together a lot as it was. He hadn't even noticed how casual they had been touching before Penelope had revealed her surprise that they hadn't already been together, because that was the conclusion she had drawn a long time ago. Though honestly, beside the occasional kiss and holding hands, nothing else had changed. They had grown close and had become true partners in life a good while ago. The fact warmed Severus to his toes.

Still, it seemed unreal.

To think, he had gained so much happiness right there, at the same location, with the same people as it had been the first time around. when the only difference was just that he had acted a little differently, appreciated things around him a little more. It was unbelievable. Still, he was unsure that he deserved it, but how could he refuse? It was ever so beautifully wonderful.

* * *

Beta read by Lost-puppyEYES


	21. A sort of different kind of christmas

Christmas morning Severus woke to a dormitory that, while empty, was surprisingly warm.

The elves had obviously been busy during the night and had decorated the room with warm, welcoming candles that spread a soft golden glow through the room.

Several branches of pine were filled with golden glitter and red Christmas globes that sparkled and glinted in the soft glow of the candles that were the main source of light in the room. It was still dark outside the window, but the glittering stars and half moon gave enough light to paint the snow that blanketed everything outside a pale, shimmering silver. The faint scent of ginger cookies and pine in the air added the final touch to the whole scene.

Severus had never liked over-decorating, and, he had always considered things like glitter and other frivolities stupid and worthless. He liked things plain and simple.

He had never really liked Christmas either; it was just a sad excuse for everybody else to act like fools and spend time on the ridiculous decorations and frills they were just going to take down in a week or two anyway.

But this was kind of nice, he even felt like just staying in bed for a while and looking at all of the nice decoration, letting the spicy smell of ginger and the sharp, woodsy smell of pine fill him, just letting himself be lost in the feeling for a while.

He let himself just lay there for a good long while, something he never usually would have done because he considered it pointless and served no purpose. When he finally sat up and yawned, he glanced around the room at the corners which hadn't been visible from his position. A little tray of cookies and warm milk where part of the smell had to come from, the golden Christmas star and… what the?

Right in front of Severus's bed, and he had to double check, was a small mountain of presents. He stared in shock.

_Where in Merlin's name did all these come from? _

In his previous life during his school days, he had always spent Christmas at Hogwarts, but he had only gotten a scattering of presents, once or twice from his mother, sometimes from Lily, in the last few years of school, from Malfoy (although he was quite sure those were never gifts of affection, and he was quite sure that none of these presents were from Malfoy.)

In his years as teacher Dumbledore had always given him a pair of colourful socks or a set of ridiculously colourful pyjamas.

Severus had made a point of never giving a present in return, and he was positive none of these were from Dumbledore. But if not any of those people, where did they come from?

Severus was absolutely clueless and, he realized with a start that some of them may be attempts made by the Death Eaters to kill him...

He had to forcibly remind himself that Dumbledore probably would have detected any such attempt. After all, they had established last summer that Severus was a target, so Dumbledore damn well knew to check.

Still rather nervous, Severus eyed the stack of presents. He recognised Lily's writing on the card of the present laying on top, so he figured that at least that one was safe.

Carefully he removed that package from the pile, and relaxed smiling as he held up the big present which was wrapped in red paper.

Slowly he unwrapped it, then smiled even broader. The package contained a full set of wizard's robes. Though a beautiful forest green colour, bronze linings and dark browns added some colour, although nothing that would stand out too much.

Lily knew his taste well; he actually quite liked this set of robes. Granted, it probably wasn't what he would pick out himself if he were out shopping alone, but he definitely wouldn't mind walking around in them. She had probably also remembered that he didn't have any clothes of his own other than his school uniforms, and it was nice of her to offer such a subtle solution. He felt a little bad about that he hadn't been able to buy her anything, so instead he'd resorted to putting a charm on an ordinary object.

Lily knew that he had never had any money, and the best thing he had ever been able to come up with was when he had been ten years old and had made her a necklace out of bird feathers. It was kind of embarrassing to think about now, although it reminded him of this year's Christmas gift to her.

He had collected a couple of lily petals from some Christmas decorations and put them in a jewellery box. When she opened the box the petals would do a little dance, and then arrange themselves into a necklace before turning into a bright silver petal necklace of his own design.

There were many drawbacks to such a gift; it would be easy to cancel the charm so that it just turned into ordinary petals again, if it came too close to magic or magic intended to harm the wearer the charm would break, and if Severus himself died or somehow got drained from magic it would also turn back.

He sincerely hoped the last two would not be an issue.

There was another soft present beneath Lily's in identical wrapping paper. Cautiously, Severus read the card and sighed with relief even as his brows lifted.

The gift was from Marguerite and Harry Evans. It seemed sort of odd to receive a gift from them, but he opened the card and read it anyways. On the card Marguerite wished him a very Happy Christmas and ended by saying that she felt a little guilty about throwing out his clothes when he didn't have any money, so he could think of this as a little compensation.

That at least made it clear what the package was, and when he opened the present sure enough, there was a small pile of brand new muggle clothes. Two pairs of jeans, a long sleeved shirt, a short sleeved shirt and what looked like a very warm sweater. He was definitely grateful for that gift; it really was something he needed.

They had added an additional package with home baked cookies and candy thinking he would eat it, and even though there was no chance he would he had to admit that the gesture was nice.

Looking suspiciously at the remaining presents Severus wracked his brain trying to figure out who else would give him gifts.

As he thought, he absently reached for a present and flipped open the card.

It was from Lupin. He really should have known, yet he didn't feel bad at all about not giving him anything. It was Lupin's call as to whether he wanted to send Severus Christmas presents or not, after all.

Still, Severus could not help but be curious and slowly, he removed the paper. To his surprise it was a mokeskin pouch, a small bag that could hold almost anything, but which no one but the owner would ever be able to reach into and retrieve the contents.

Looking it over Severus was satisfied to find that it had been spelled against curses, and, barring the ability to block or negate the curse or hex would destroy itself and anything within it. Small, easy, useful, and practical. Lupin really wasn't the worst person to associate with.

Okay, now the number of people who would have any reason to give him presents was really starting to decline.

Warily he reached carefully for the next gift and looked at the card while holding the present at a reasonably safe distance.

_I know you hate candy so I thought you might like this. _

_Merry Christmas, Penelope. _

Penelope. Huh. Who would have thought?

On opening, Severus was presented with a book on defensive spells. Or rather, on the use of defensive spells depending on the situation. Again useful, and she was quite right; he would much rather have this than candy.

A particularly suspicious gift was next. No visible Christmas card, sloppily wrapped, and with random splashes of glitter all over it, while a big red bow was glued to it and in serious danger of falling off.

Severus muttered a _revealo_ charm but there seemed to be nothing magical nor poisonous about it, so he poked at it carefully, then gingerly picked it up.

He didn't even really have to unwrap it, as the paper practically fell off when he touched it, and he was absolutely gobsmacked when he found himself face to...face? ... with some sort of purple teddy-like _thing _that had buttons for eyes and a crookedly smiling mouth.

More hesitant than ever Severus lifted the little… thing, turning it around to look at it. It looked harmless enough, but then again, he'd found that the things that looked the most harmless were often the most dangerous. It looked sort of homemade, but terribly. The proportions all off, and the stitches were large and haphazard. Already the left eye was in danger of falling out.

Searching the wrapping for some sort of explanation, he found a card that looked as if a jar of glitter had exploded on it and was written in very large, lopsided letters in what seemed to be crayon.

Squinting his eyes against the glare, Severus picked up the card.

_Dear Severus. _

_I made a Doggie for you._

_It's for when I am a sleep, it is really hard to look over myself, so my Doggie dose it for me. _

_You see, the trouble about being a warrior is you have really many enemies, otherwise being a warrior just boring. And you are a really big famouse one so you must have really many famouse enemies, like the goblin king. _

_I'm afraid Doggie is not a very good fighter, but he can wake you when there is something out there._

_Happy Christmas. _

_Evelyn. _

Severus couldn't help but laugh. This was really the worst kind of present, but he just couldn't bring himself to even think about throwing it away.

There was just no way in hell he would ever let the other Slytherins know that he had it_. Ever!_

Only one small package was left, looking lonely as it sat on the coverlet by itself. Simply wrapped in brown paper, with a neat silver bow it was small enough that it could fit in the palm of his hand. The card was as unassuming as the package, and the writing was in a very precise hand. It read simply;

_Mr Severus Snape._

_It has come to my attention that you, as a recent orphan, have no Wizarding family. _

_I also know that you either have in the close past or will in the near future turn seventeen. _

_It is a custom in most Wizarding families to give a person who is coming of age a watch, the tradition mostly rules that it should be the same watch handed down from father to son._

_As it happens I have no family left and my old watch needs to pass down to someone._

_I would be honoured if it would be in the hands of such a well disciplined, well mannered and talented young man who will no doubt set his mark on the world. _

_I hope you realise the significance of this gift and will go on proving yourself worthy of it._

_Augustus Prince. _

The little packet looked cold and neat, and the card was phrased to sound detached, dignified and impersonal, but the meaning behind it all shot like a lightning bolt through Severus.

His hand was shaking as he brushed it lightly over the silver bow before carefully pulling the wrapping away to be left with a small wooden box. Unconsciously holding his breath he opened the box and was met with the sight of the silver pocket watch he remembered seeing Augustus using over summer vacation at the ministry.

Laying on midnight blue velvet, gleaming and glinting at him, it invited him to pick it up, but instead he brushed a single finger against the cold silver, feeling the clockwork mechanisms vibrating through his finger as he traced the 'P' engraved on the cover and the crest of a hawk with a crown on it's head.

"You sly devil." Severus whispered. "Still want me to become your apprentice do you?"

Yet he couldn't stop looking at the watch and tracing the engravings.

He'd probably had been bitter enough to sell it along with everything else of the Prince family in his previous life time. Anything he hadn't thrown out, that is, which might very well have been the fate of this watch. All at once he felt guilty about never having bothered to sort through his semi-inheritance.

Carefully he lifted the watch from the case, letting the heavy silver chain slide through his fingers as he opened the lid to look at the clock face.

The hands were gold and so were the small lines indicating time, and at every hour there was a small glittering diamond to give accent. It was a very beautiful watch, no doubt very old and very valuable, that had belonged to every single head of the Prince family. It was amusing how fate always seemed to deliver objects like these to the right hands in the end.

He should probably tell Augustus soon. It almost felt cruel to keep it from the old man. Whatever history there was between Augustus and Severus's mother had happened a long time ago and was probably very complicated. Still, Augustus had never disowned her, otherwise in that case Severus would never have been the heir.

Severus knew that his mother had lacked the strength to go to anyone, but perhaps if she had gone to her father he would have helped. Severus had gotten the firm impression that Augustus was quite lonely up in his mansion, bored too for that matter, and if there was something Severus had been taught in the last couple of months it was that people hated being alone and often craved the ability to be useful.

Still, he wanted to tell Augustus personally. It was too important to say through a thank-you card.

The watch was the last present, and Severus was at a loss as he looked at the scattered objects in front of him. He had no idea what to say or how to begin. In all honesty he was sort of glad that he was alone, that these presents hadn't been given personally, he wouldn't have known how to react!

Of course he would have to write letters to everyone to thank them for the presents, but what to say? "It was nice, thank you for thinking of me" seemed like an understatement, but Severus had always hated expressing feelings and there was no way he was going to write even one card that seemed like he was falling over himself in gratitude. He supposed just keeping it formal would be fine, after all, these people should know him by now, and that was always how he expressed himself.

Carefully he dressed in the new robes from Lily. For some reason it felt kind of odd to be wearing robes that weren't black, but looking into the mirror he had to admit that they didn't look bad on him. He even looked less pale. In fact, he almost looked normal.

He puzzled over what to do with the watch in his hand. He could attach it to his robes, after all it had a chest pocket for that very reason, or he could hide it away safely, where it would no doubt collect dust to the day he fell over and died of old age.

With a long suffering sigh Severus attached the chain to the loop on the chest pocket where it was supposed to be and placed the watch carefully in the pocket.

He found two other Slytherins in the common room, Katharine Jules and Esben Chapman, both from the Phoenix Fighters. Katharine was the second year student who had almost hit him and Remus with that book as the switching charm had gone wrong for her, but afterwards she had mastered it successfully and had so far proven to be extremely creative with it, more creative than Severus himself had ever been and Esben, although being slightly mousy, unassuming, and a third year had a sharp mind that made him a force to be reckoned with.

"We got a present for you!" Katherine suddenly blurted.

Severus stared at them.

They had to be joking. Why would people he hadn't known and who hadn't cared about him the last time around now suddenly start liking him enough to even give him Christmas presents? It made no sense!

Katherine giggled at his odd look, then, randomly,

"Those are some nice robes! They look great on you." As soon as the words were out of her mouth Katharine blushed furiously, but grinned up at him unrepentantly.

Esben looked like he wanted to kick the girl but she giggled and poked at him before he could.

"Show him!"

Esben sighed as he stepped aside.

"We had no idea what you like so we just guessed… Lieve chipped in too, she was the one who insisted on gingerbreads" he picked up a basket from off a nearby table and slowly handed it to Severus.

"I told you he wouldn't like it." Esben told Katherine sourly.

Only then did Severus actually look at the basket which was filled with candy, cookies, pasties and sweets of all kinds... all sorts of things Severus couldn't stand.

Still, "No I like it." he assured the girl. "Thank you, though I'm afraid I don't have anything to give in return."

"That's okay." Katherine grinned. "We can all just share later!"

It was an odd gift to give if she just intended for him to share it with them later in the evening, but if it was an indication that they wanted to spend time with him he supposed that was the purpose of such gifts.

Esben however, still seemed embarrassed as he handed the basket to the older boy.

"I told her you didn't want something so childish." he muttered to Severus under his breath.

"No, I like it." Severus assured again, and thanking Merlin that he was such a good liar. "Really." he added at Esbens doubtful look.

It made Esben brighten up a little as he nodded.

"Let me just put it away so we can head for breakfast." Severus said, and looked around. In the end, he decided to leave it at a table by the fireplace in the hopes that Katherine would follow up on her promise to share it with him and eat it _for_ him by the evening.

As they walked up to the Great Hall Severus' curiosity got the better of him.

"Why are you not at home for Christmas?" he asked the two young students.

"My mom and dad are really poor." Esben muttered. "And they got my little sister to take care of. I thought it would be better if they didn't pay any more for me than they have to. I mean, Christmas dinner for an extra mouth is worth a whole month's house rent for them." he sighed. "Their own fault really, they're old blood but the money ran out last generation and they still refuse to get day jobs."

"I'm an orphan so I don't have a family to go home to." Katherine explained cheerfully, slipping closer to the older boy's side.

It was probably the tone of voice that startled Severus the most, and that surprise must have shown on his face.

"What?" Katherine looked at him. "It's not really a bad thing, being an orphan."

"I suppose not." Severus muttered.

"What about you?" Katherine asked, curiosity tingeing her still carefree tone.

He should have expected that...

"I'm an orphan too"

Technically a lie perhaps but true nonetheless. His mother had died, and his father probably was dead, and if the man wasn't, Severus didn't care.

"Really!" Katherine looked wide eyed at him. "But I thought..." she hesitated slightly, and then whispered. "I was sure you were from a really old pureblood family."

"If you're asking if I grew up in a mansion eating off of silver plates and practicing magic from birth, no I did not."

Both Katherine and Esben looked astounded.

Severus sighed deeply. "No I grew up in the muggle world, just as I suppose you did." he hinted at Katherine.

"But" Esben was confused. "I thought you were half blood, that you were part of the Prince family, that's what everyone keeps saying."

"Well, it's sort of complicated." Severus paused, trying to figure out how to say it. "It's true, my mother was heir to the Prince family but she died, and when she married a muggle I suppose she sort of broke loose from the Prince family. They don't even know I exist."

"Really?" Esben's eyebrows were almost disappearing beneath his hairline. "You grew up in the muggle world?"

"Yes." Severus sighed. "Background doesn't really matter when it comes down to it."

In the great hall they were met with the few other students who had stayed, one of whom was an all too familiar Irish girl who immediately sought their company.

It was always the same way with her, first she would sit there quietly, but before long the silence for some reason would unnerve the girl and make her start rambling. Sometimes she would find a subject they were talking about that she genuinely found interesting but in those cases her chattering would be twice as fast and twice as hard to stop.

Severus could understand that she was lonely and still unsure if they were going to leave her. Sometimes she even seemed so nervous around them, an almost lost look could come over her eyes then, but he was not going to start conversation with this girl! Not of his own volition anyway.

"Morning Lieve." Katherine greeted happily.

Severus sighed, so it began.

"Ey Katherine, Esben." Lieve presented them a brought wide smile that glowed warmly. "Severu'."

Yes her accent made it so the last syllable in some words wasn't pronounced, why the hell she could pronounce Remus's name properly but not his?

"Happy Christmas! The happiest time in the year ei?" The redhead grinned at the three.

"Sure!" Katherine nodded. "Presents and no schoolwork, what more could you want?"

"Ye got some good presents I hope?" Lieve plopped down onto the bench with them. "I got a nice present from Penelope, she sure is a very nice girly, ye know that ye cannae defeat a troll with a simple stunner? I were not sure if I should send a present to her or Remus, but now I am glad that I did, did you give Severu' our present?"

Severus sighed. And all that was on one breath.

"Yes." he said. "I did get the basket, it was very nice of you." he took a deep breath, bracing himself, "Thank you."

That simple little word, was surprisingly all it took, Lieve looked at him with warm appreciating eyes and that smile of hers. "You're welcome." she said in a quiet yet warm voice and she then returned to her own business, grapping the pumpkin juice and arranged her break-fast without a word.

In the evening he found himself sitting by the fireplace in the Slytherin common room with three Phoenix Fighters he barely knew. He thought of himself as nothing more than a mentor to them, but they seemed genuinely interested in spending time with him, and even seemed to be enjoying their time with him. It seemed to make a difference in how he felt about spending time with them as well.

"All-right." Lieve had found herself standing in a hunched position in front of the fire-place, the fire giving her appearance a golden tone as she spoke. "If there is some-thing ye should know about Leprechauns, it is to _never_ trust em" she told them importantly. "They will do as they promised all-right, but they will twist yer words unless ye are careful."

Esben and Katherine were both laying on their stomachs on the carpet, resting their chins in their hands as they wide-eyed looked at Lieve whom was really bringing the story to life with all her gesturing, pauses on the right times, it was obvious she had gotten practise enough in this art of story telling.

"Then what happened?" Katherine finally asked, not able to bear the silence any-more.

Severus snorted letting out a sadistic smile. "He woke up completely covered in fur didn't he?" he asked in a devilish grin.

"AYE!" Lieve exclaimed pointing at Severus as she grinned triumphantly. "Me mom got the scare of her life, thought a yeti had crawled up in her bed she did, I could hear the scream all the way to me room!"

And the two young Slytherins on the floor burst out laughing, Katrina even falling on to her back. "Wow, that couldn't have been nice." she laughed.

"How could ye tell?" Lieve interested asked Severus.

"Please." Severus rolled his eyes. "Only and idiot would form a wish like that using those words." he stated.

Lieve blinked then laid her head askew as she looked at Severus. "What words would ye have used?" she asked.

"I wouldn't have wished at all." Severus shrugged. "If I can't gain it by myself, it isn't worth having." he stated in a slight yawn. "Beside the little pipsqueak would twist my words no matter what I said, that is what they do, thus why even bother wishing?" he asked. "Is it that hurtful to use your brain?" he asked in a slight drawl.

Lieve looked at him a slight frown on her face and a puzzled look in her eyes, really looking like she was caught in a deep thought that moment.

"What would you wish?" Katherine suddenly caught in catching Lieve off-guard.

Lieve blinked and then looked at Katherine, a strained smile on her face. "I.." she hesitated but suddenly dropped her head and sighed deeply. "Ow abou a new nice warm jumper?" she asked. "It'll be hard to twist that one around."

"Unless you suddenly wake up with a horse standing in your bedroom specialising in jumping." Severus pointed out whilst rolling his eyes.

Lieve almost chocked as she unexpected laughed. "Well then." she tried to breath for air. "Then it's a good thing the fold wouldn't be so far away." she stated with wide eyes, before finally managing to let go and laugh, dropping down on the carpet to sit with spread out legs while snickering.

Okay, maybe Lieves story hadn't been so bad at all, in fact it had been.. entertaining, she was a skilled story teller, and Severus. He had enjoyed himself unwinding to it.

And as he neatly folded the new robes and placed the silver watch on his night stand beside the odd plush animal, he decided that this Christmas was most definitely the best Christmas he could remember.

And as he fell asleep, the only thing around to see the soft smile on his lips was the misshapen dog that had been made for him by a little girl.


	22. After silence, comes the storm

Severus stared out into the dark dormitory, shifting restlessly as he waited for the sleep that had been eluding him for the last few nights. The nightmares that had once plagued him were now few and far between, but the last few nights hadn't been pleasant. His nightmares from his old life had grown rare, but he definitely still had them.

The worst nightmare had always been of a girl; the only person he had ever literally killed in cold blood. In the past every detail had been crystal clear to him and had lingered long after he had woken. Now, for some reason they had faded.

All he could remember was the pleading expression on her face.

He should have been relieved, but it bothered him. It had been one of his most vivid returning dreams since he was very young the first time around. Why should it escape him now?

With a weary sigh Severus rolled over and resolutely closed his eyes, focusing on the darkness behind his lids.

And new feelings began to race through him.

Anger... rage at such incompetence…

_What sort of idiots are serving me!_

_Severus was furious. _

_Cowering at his feet was the cause of his anger; the idiot Malfoy. His task had been so simple, and yet he had failed! _

"_Face me, Lucius." Severus commanded._

_To his feet cowered the source of his anger, that __good for nothing Lucius Malfoy, his task had been so simple and yet he had failed! "Face me Lucius," Severus demanded._

_Lucius' scared gray eyes looked up at him shakily, his light blond hair was dirty and hanging around his pointy face in strands._

"_You disappoint__ed me Lucius," Severus told him in a dangerous tone. "And I don't like being disappointed. The task was quite simple, was it not, and yet you didn't manage. He had been ours already and then what happened?" _

"_Master," Lucius grove__lled. "I would never disappoint you! I don't know what happened, but I swear if you have asked only a year ago he would have said yes without hesitation! Maybe he still would! He's not foolish and he knows what he wants."_

"_You are pathetic Lucius,__" Severus sneered coldly. "You must learn your lesson!" Severus raised his wand. "CRUCIO!"_

_Lucius screamed and wreathed on the floor__ in pain to Severus' amusement… but Severus didn't like the Cruciatus. He had always found it beneath his dignity to use such a vulgar curse... not even in his nightmares did he use it... this were not his thoughts... not his mind... he had to get out!_

Severus gasped and sat up straight in his bed. What had happened? Had he just been inside Voldemort's head? How?

He started searching for hidden magic and felt it almost at once, a strong pulsing from under his bed. Sighing he bent down and retrieved the small diary, which indeed was drenched in dark magic beyond anything he was used to. He could feel it whisper to him telling him to open it.

"_I can see into your soul__... we are alike... we are alike..."_

Severus closed his eyes and used his Occlumency to shut the book out. That was when he discovered something else, a strand of magic connected to it. Several strands as a matter of fact and leading in different directions as well, connected to places... or items it belonged to and wanted to merge with. It was very faint and had Severus not used Occlumency or was not as good at it as he was, the naturally drawing personality of the book would have drowned it. One strand was stronger than the other four though, probably leading to the object closest to his position, maybe even very close.

Severus reached for a robe and pulled it on before letting the book simply pull him in the right direction, out of the Slytherin dormitory and towards the south end of the castle.

It was in the middle of the night in a nearly deserted school, as it was still Christmas vacation, so he assumed no one was going to look for students out of bed. Severus just hoped this worked the way he thought it did and the book was pulling him towards the other soul pieces it belonged to. He needed to be sure and he needed to find those Horcruxes!

A door Severus had never noticed before appeared suddenly right beside him and the Horcrux in his hand was pulling insistently towards it. He reached for the handle and cautiously pushed it open.

The room on the other side was a mess! It seemed to be filled with all sorts of useless trash people had stored or hidden there over the centuries, covered in thick layers of dust.

The pull of the diary was very strong now. Severus walked in and had to crawl over quite a few disgusting piles, before by mere chance his hand had brushed an item that seemed to pulse and sing in delight to meet its other part.

Carefully Severus picked up what looked like a very simple silver diadem with blue stones in it and was definitely alive pulsing and hissing in his hand. Severus lowered his shields just a little and was met with the full force of Voldemort's presence. Immediately he shut the Horcruxes out again.

He took a moment to consider his options while turning them in his hands. There were three other strands, which seemed stronger now with two Horcruxes together. That meant that there were three other Horcruxes to be found and destroyed before Voldemort himself could be killed.

Suddenly the strands faded and the Horcruxes were pulsing less, Voldemort must have cooled down.

Something else was amiss in this room, Severus looked to the side and was met with the sight of a huge cabinet. He smiled grimly since he had been looking for this very thing. In his previous life he had seen only its twin, because Draco had refused his help with repairing this one.

He didn't need an invitation. Without much thought he drew his wand and combusted the cabinet to mere ashes.

Taking one more look over the room with his slender wand raised he concluded that there was probably nothing else left to do but slink back to his bed through the cold hallways.

"No Master, I can do it!"

Severus pressed himself against the wall keeping absolutely still, the voice was male and screeching... Spinner. He sounded frightened.

"I can't convince him to join by myself, since his mind is set the same stubborn way the old one's seems to be, but we can arrange for him to come before you. Maybe then he is going to join, he is still so young and just imagine what a valuable servant he would be."

Severus narrowed his eyes listening intently.

"But you need only one of them, my Lord! What if you took them both and held them hostage? One of them would give in at some point for sure, they are both Slytherins and of old blood, this should count for something."

Severus caught a glimpse of Spinner passing the side corridor he was hiding in and looking rather uncomfortable. He was talking into a two-way mirror, his shoulders hunched and his thin back bowed.

"I promise, Master, I promise I will have him soon! Then you can use them against each other. One of them must corporate sooner or later."

And then he was gone.

Severus' mind was racing. Who could Spinner have been talking about? A Slytherin student no doubt, with a relationship to an older Slytherin, a close one since they were planning to use the two against each other, possibly family members. But who?

Severus was left to ponder this for the rest of the vacation without getting any idea whatsoever. He told Lily as soon as she returned of course, since he had sworn to share everything with her, but even she had to draw a blank on who Spinner could have meant. She didn't even know that well who was pureblood and who wasn't, so her chances to guess correctly were much smaller than his anyway.

Lily was looking forward to their next Hogsmeade visit with anticipation, since it happened to be on the ninth of January, Severus' birthday. He had almost begged her not to spread the word, sincerely unable to bear the thought of any more celebrations around him. He had admitted enjoying Christmas, but he couldn't take any more gifts of gratitude so soon after, nor being crowded by people. Thankfully she simply nodded in understanding, telling him she wanted to have him to herself for once anyway... which left him a bit bewildered, who else would he be with?

He didn't get his way entirely of course. Lily had insisted on giving him a present in form of yet another wizard robe, this time in deep reddish brown, exclaiming loudly that he would not walk around in black as long as they were together. Apparently she would be in charge of his wardrobe from now on.

Well, at least she had good taste and knew he preferred wizard robes over muggle clothes any day.

Unfortunately Remus Lupin had somehow found out about this date anyway and had given him sweeping congratulations and a present in form of a book.

At least he had the good sense to give him something practical, thus Severus' muttered thanks weren't even half as bitter as they could have been.

However, Remus had gotten also a terrible idea, one of his worst in fact. He had introduced Lieve to Sirius, the only person in this school who could talk just as much nonsense as she could. Sirius Black was much more of a dog then a man, and there were only few people he genuinely liked, but those he did like he loved to joke around with and laugh at in turn. What a simpleton! They were both simpletons! a great pair.

That was why Severus could hear them talking from a mile away when he and Lily walked the snow covered main street of Hogsmeade.

"Ye cannae just put garlic in the window and expect them vampires to keep away," Lieve's voice declared clearly. "Ye'r need something stronger tha goes right into them noses and give em a good o'll head ache, makes them eyes all watery and the creatures sneezy too."

"Darn it," Sirius answered. "So I guess stuffing garlic in Snape's food wouldn't be strong enough to expose him?"

"Nay, bu' that may also be, cause he's only a wee bit vampire..." and she added something in a lower tone that made Sirius laugh to Severus' great annoyance. A moment later Black and Potter gave each other high five exclaiming that they had made quite a find in her and just couldn't wait to set up some nymph traps, so they could see the creatures for themselves... and probably stuff them into some unfortunate teacher's drawer. Merlin, Severus was glad he wouldn't have to put up with that ever again. If he were a teacher he would have been most likely the target number one, he had to admit to his own dismay.

"It's nice to see how fast she found friends," Lily commented. "From what I heard she was just hiding away in corners before."

Severus gritted his teeth. Well, Lily would always be there for him when people tried to be cruel, but pocking fun of him she was mostly fine with, even liked to do so herself.

"If you say so," he answered, "though I can't phantom how. She's so... exuberant."

"I'm somewhat worried about it," she looked thoughtful. "You think she might be trying to avoid thinking about her dad?"

"Maybe," Severus shrugged. "I've no idea. That's not the usual way to deal with grief or stress, and trust me I witnessed plenty."

Suddenly Severus saw a familiar figure ahead of them and tensed. It was not so much that Spinner was walking around Hogsmeade that worried him, rather who he walked with... Travers. Severus recognised the old and bitter man immediately. A moment later Spinner caught sight of him and nodded to Travers, who turned to stare right at him.

"Come on, let's go," Severus whispered in Lily's ear sensing danger.

But it was already too late, the two Death Eaters were approaching them.

"Mr. Snape," Spinner screeched out. "Can we have a word?"

Hesitating Lily and Severus looked at each other, before walking slowly towards Spinner.

"What a nice robe, is it new?" Spinner asked innocently.

"It's a gift," Severus answered coldly.

"It's his birthday," Lily added.

"Oh, is it?" Spinners face split into a wide grin. "Well, that's marvellous, we should celebrate!"

"You really don't need to bother, sir," Severus muttered annoyed gripping Lily's hand firmer.

"Oh, but you are my favourite student," Spinner grinned. "And I guess it's seventeen you are turning. That's a big day for any young wizard!" Without much warning he grabbed Severus around the shoulder and began dragging him away. "We really must celebrate!"

"No thank you, sir," Severus ducked out of the grip skilfully. "I think not."

"But you must," Spinner persisted faking disappointment.

"As I said," Severus hissed. "No thank you, sir."

Spinners face twisted in anger. "You will come with me!" he commanded before adding softer, "it's just a glass of butterbeer, is that so hard to accept?"

Severus backed away a little and whispered to Lily, "run!"

They both turned around and started sprinting down the street.

"YOU, COME BACK HERE!" Spinner yelled after them. "GET HIM!"

Dark figures began emerging from the shadows all around them, clad in black robes and Death Eater skeleton masks.

"Lily, when I give you a signal you'll run in the opposite direction," Severus demanded.

"What?" Lily couldn't believe what she was hearing, staring at him angrily. "No way!"

"Lily listen, it's me they are after. They clearly want me for something, so that means they won't kill me, you however they will!" he explained to her as they stood back to back facing the shadows closing in.

"I don't _care!_" Lily almost yelled. "You always leave me out when there's trouble!"

"That's because _I_ care!" Severus yelled back. "If something happens to you I don't know what I'll do, so just do as I say, little Miss."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, Mister!"

This was really quite ridiculous! They were having a fight while being in imminent danger, yet it was clear that none of them would give in. He didn't even have time to retort before the first hex flew towards them and he had to reflect it.

They were surrounded now and since Lily wouldn't leave him he was about to resort to the most logical course of action and just apparate them out. That was until somebody absolutely had to get involved of course! Penelope, who had been inside the candy store with Regulus, had seen what had happened and hurried out to their aid.

"Expelliarmus!" she hexed at the nearest Death Eater, who hadn't seen it coming and his wand flew out of his hand.

This meant of course that Severus couldn't just leave. He shielded both himself and Lily again before sending a Sectrumsempra at the Death Eater, who was about to curse Penelope from behind.

More joined the party. "LILY!" James Potter yelled as he and his friends came running towards them with their wands drawn.

Lieve was the first of them to take action though, sending a Confringo at a large, bulky Death Eater to her right, which blasted him back and out of the way. Her eyes shone in hunger for revenge, though Severus really had no time to put any thought into that. He set the ground on fire to slow a couple of Death Eaters down, but had to dodge another hex, pulling Lily with him.

Reassessing the situation again he saw Penelope unconscious on the ground. Regulus was standing over her and protecting her to the best of his abilities. Sirius seemed to have been hit as well and Potter was putting up a brave fight, despite his aim being off with his glasses broken. More people were joining the fight, all of them Phoenix Fighters and they were actually outnumbering the Death Eaters considerably now.

"Forget about them, we only need him!" A familiar screeching voice came from one of the masked figures. "Just grab him!"

Despite their numbers the Phoenix Fighters were just students all the way down to thirteen, so it was no surprise that the younger ones were dropping like flies. A green light was sent towards one of them, who thankfully dodged instead of shielding, but it was enough for Severus. This shit had become really serious, they had just tried to kill a student.

"ALRIGHT!" he yelled putting his wand away and raised his hands in surrender. "YOU WANT ME? HERE I AM!"

"Sev, no!" Lily exclaimed.

"Don't worry, they won't kill me for now," Severus reassured her sternly. "I'm worth too much for them to play with me as well."

"STOP!" a female voice yelled from the circle of the Death Eaters and Severus did recognise it all too well. "He's a smart one, he's giving himself over," Bellatrix Lestrange simpered.

"You stop too!" Severus commanded to his fellow students.

"Sev," Lily's voice trembled as she whispered to him. "Promise you'll come back to me."

"Lily I…"

"Please!"

"I'm always going to try and come back to you," Severus whispered softly. "There is no other place I would rather be." They didn't get to exchange more words, before a Death Eater had reached out and grabbed Severus' arm disapparating with a loud plop and all of the others following.

Lily was not satisfied with Severus' answer, not at all.

He would always _try_ to come back? This meant that he wasn't sure. The damn stubborn idiot! Honestly!

She looked over to the students groaning and gasping on the ground around her, aided by others.

"Those filthy blasted rat arses!" Lieve yelled angrily. "When I get me hands on those cockenmoisters I'll boil them in their own fat I'll do. With mint leaves and stinking oll garlic!"

Sirius lifted an eyebrow amused. "Why mint leaves and garlic?"

"The mixture hurts them demons, but also prolongs their suffering," she answered flatly. There was no telling if it was a joke or not, but the words and the hatred in her eyes mirrored Lily's feelings exactly. She felt like yelling and throwing things too, being really pissed right now. At the same time though she felt so empty inside and absolutely scared.

"What has happened here?" McGonagall arrived with several other teachers on her heal.

Lily felt like bursting into tears and incredibly angry at the same time, she had been left behind,_ again_! She was not a child and could most definitely handle herself!

"Erm..." James cleared his throat. "Death Eaters, madam," he looked around. "They took Snape, professor."

The teachers regarded them shocked, before taking notice of the students on the ground, some of them were groaning and some not moving at all.

"Students, back to the castle!" McGonagall ordered. "Those who are fine help us with the injured."

Lily didn't hesitate to take care of one of the younger Slytherin's, who seemed pale and shell shocked. She saw Regulus carry Penelope in his arms, Sirius was supported by James, while Jugson helped a fellow Slytherin to his legs. Diane Diggory levitated a Hufflepuff student and Lieve took only a few steps before stumbling herself and having Remus coming to her aid, only for him to wince in pain.

"Ye dope." Lieve mumbled. "Ye'r bleeding." she pointed out and forced Remus to stand still as she ripped her own cloak to pieces to acquire cloth to stop the bleeding from his leg that had been gashed, looking up at Remus with eyes that shined of caring. "We help each other back to the castle all right?" she asked. "Come on lovely, one step at the time, and breath, remember to breath." and leaning against each other, her and Remus slowly were on their way. "Careful now, take care of yerself." Lieve whispered to Remus as he leaned against her. "I wouldn't know what to do if you to suddenly.." she silenced. "Just get well, I wouldn't know what to do without ye." she sighed leaning her head against Remus, smiling lovingly at him.

How-ever, that was the moment, the exact moment Remus's eyes widened and he starred at Lieve, as if he had never seen her before, as if some-thing horrible had just happened... As if it was first now it dawned on him. He yanked his arm away from Lieve and then hissed in pain.

"Remus." Lieve exclaimed in a worried tone.

"I'm fine." Remus hissed in pain. "I can walk fine by myself, go help some-one whom needs it more."

"Yer.. yer sure?" Lieve asked

Remus nodded as he bit together. "Yes."

"Well then, I meet ye back at the castle." Lieve a little wide-eyed told Remus, whom nodded back before Lieve only far to easily found some-one else to support, all-ready then though, Remus had fled and disappeared into the crowds.

McGonagall and the others levitated unconscious students as well and together they made their way back to Hogwarts. All the while Lily's thoughts were with Severus. The battle itself hadn't been even half as gut wrenching as this uncertainty!


	23. The dark lord

The first thing Severus saw as he and the Death Eaters reappeared was the outside of a rather large mansion, the Death Eaters had a rather firm grip on his arm a they violently pushed him forward while pointing their wands at him. He walked silently beside them not showing any emotion with his back straight, he almost didn't even blink.

"All right boy." The Death Eater at his side hissed into his ear. "We're here, time to freshen up before you face the Dark Lord."

It could not be helped, Severus felt a chill go down his spine, but remained unresponsive on the outside. "Why am I here?" He asked his face empty of any and all emotions, his voice smooth and calm.

"Because we could use someone like you." Bellatrix said in her honey sweet voice. "So much talent, even I could sense it in our short fight together."

"And you don't even have to do much." Another Death Eater spoke. "Just give us what we want."

"What could I possibly have that you would want?" Severus asked looking straight forward, his voice still devoid of any emotions. "I'm just a student."

"Why that amazing potion of yours, of course." Bellatrix whispered in his ear. "It's really complicated, but ever so useful." She snickered. "Not to mention other things I am sure you could be used for." She playfully slid her hand from his shoulder and down his arm. "So young and powerful." She whispered almost seductively. "I like that."

Severus was stunned as his brain quickly fit all of the pieces together. "You want me to brew the Wolfsbane potion for you?" He asked.

Of course! That's what sparked their interests over the summer break! They wanted to use the Wolfsbane potion, not only to convince werewolves to join them, which was already a task made easy by the ministry, but to also make them controllable during the full moon. It would be an army of dangerous, venomous beasts that could now be fully controlled. They could even create more as they went along. All it would take is a single bite. With this new weapon he could threaten the world. With this new weapon he could very well _take over_ the world, wizard and muggle alike.

Severus could feel the horror growing inside of him. His own good intentions were now being turned against him.

"Clever boy!" Sounded a cheerful voice. "I do believe he could become quite the valuable servant."

Severus kept quiet. Working on a plan to get out of the situation he was trapped in.

Another masked person stepped forward and announced, "The Dark Lord is away at the moment. He had… _something.._ to take care of and will return once he has finished."

"So what do you suppose we do with him?" Bellatrix asked brusquely, grabbing Severus's arm into her tight grip.

"Put him in a cell with the other prisoner." The Death Eater that had come from the mansion demanded. "It'll probably do them some good to be reminded of what they can loose. After all we only need one of them."

Severus' head snapped up, what could they possibly mean by that! Who were they talking about! All the people Severus cared for the most were at Hogwarts. These Death Eaters weren't making any sense at all!

He would soon get his answer though. As he was led downwards and into the cellar, one of the Death Eaters unlocked and opened a big heavy wooden door. "Hey gramps." The Death Eater yelled inside. "You should be feeling lucky today, you can have a family reunion now!"

"Wait!" Bellatrix yelled, and before Severus could do much more she reached into his sleeve where she grabbed a hold of his wand, to take it from him. "Throw him in." She then gestured and Severus was violently thrown into the cell and the wooden door was slammed shut leaving him in nothing but darkness.

"Who's there." An old voice sounded. "I'm afraid I didn't quite manage to get a look at you before they closed the door."

"No matter." Severus responded "I got it." He reached out his hand and let a few flames spring to life inside of his palm, instantly lighting up the small holding cell.

The elderly man was sitting there while leaning against the wall. Upon spotting Severus the surprised old man sat a little straighter than before, his black eyes shining with familiarity and sadness. Severus sighed, he really should have known.

An elder Slytherin, Master Potions Brewer, as well as his only living relative. Augustus Prince was trapped down in the cellar with him.

Considering the situation Augusts looked rather well. His snowy white hair was not as finely kept as a few renegade strands were falling down onto his face and into his eyes. His clothes also seemed to be in a disarray and he was lacking his walking cane. Although he did not lack his dignity and sharpness, as he was sitting there in a proud upright position.

"Mr. Snape." Augustus uttered, though he also seemed to get over the surprise fairly quickly. "I should have known they would bring you in to." he sighed.

Severus smirked. "You refused to make the Wolfsbane potion for them didn't you?"

"Of course." Augustus returned the smirk his eyes sparking with slight mirth. "Those Death Eater bastards have not seen the worst of me yet."

"I don't doubt that." Severus' smirk turned into a frown. "We need to get out of here." He said seriously.

"I quite agree." Augustus nodded. "But as they took my wand, I am afraid I'm going to be rather useless."

"Hm." Severus hummed as he got up and searched the room. "Even if you did have your wand I doubt you could get out of here that quickly." Severus tugged the panels. "The safety wards are pretty strong and even if we do get out the Death Eaters would be alerted in less than a second, there are about a dozen up there, not to mention, Voldemort himself could appear at any moment. The entire mansion is also warded against apparition, so we can't do that."

"So there is no way for us to get out of this then." Augustus concluded.

"I wouldn't say that." Severus said as he searched the walls. "I could attempt an escape right now, but chances are I would be caught immediately. The question is though, should I risk it now or wait till they bring me out to face Voldemort. Fortunately the Death Eaters have already made several dim-witted mistakes"

"Like what?" Augustus lifted an eyebrow.

Severus smirked, it could almost be considered a grin if it weren't so evil looking. "Lets just say that their biggest mistake was in not considering me a threat. If they had any sense they would have knocked me unconscious until they needed me" he chuckled softly. "And I have a rather big advantage, seeing as I know how Voldemort's mind works."

It didn't take more than half an hour before the door was opened again and Severus was being led out. "Get your hands off me." He hissed at the Death Eaters. "You stupid bastards!" He spat while he was twisting and turning in their arms, helplessly trying to fight his way out of their hands.

"You will talk to us with respect, boy!" A Death Eater said as he slapped Severus across the face.

"Why!" Severus retorted in a loud defiant voice, snorting at the Death Eaters. "It took eight of you to collect one student, and two of you got injured! That's just pathetic!"

He got slapped again this time on the other cheek. "I said, show some respect!" The man spit in his face.

Severus just stared sullenly at them, and let himself drop down in defiance, refusing to walk. So they had to literately drag him up the stairs, his legs hanging limply beneath him.

"You think you're so smart." Severus started ranting as they headed for another door. "Lucky for you that you have such a powerful leader, or you would be done for. He probably doesn't even need your help for anything." He was flung across the room by a mad Death Eater. "INSOLENT BRAT!" he could hear Bellatrix yell.

"Enough!" An evil voice suddenly boomed. Severus looked up from the floor to face the newest man in the room and he blinked. It was quite strange seeing him like this, Voldemort's eyes were still the bright red he remembered from before, but his face didn't have such a snake like quality to it as of yet. By all means his features should have been handsome, but unfortunately for him they were not. For some reason, despite his face seeming as if it were perfectly formed by a Greek Sculptor, with brown hair and a strong chin, he looked repulsive. He looked just as repulsive as when his face was white and snake like. "The boy is quite right." Voldemort hissed. "You all are _nothing_ without me." A big green Snake suddenly slithered around his neck as it hissed at the Death Eaters, making them stand back and look down.

Severus stayed kneeling with his head bowed, shaking lightly, as he stared wide eyed at the floor.

"Rise boy." Voldemort gestured at Severus.

"Thank you my Lord." Severus stood up respectfully but didn't look Voldemort in the eye.

"You treat me with respect, yet you fight with my Death Eaters." Voldemort whispered. "Why?"

"I did not think they were real Death Eaters." Severus responded in a shaken little voice as he fidgeted nervously under Voldemort's gaze. "I thought surely those worthy of being called the Dark Lords most trusted servants would be able to wipe out all those young and inexperienced students as if they were nothing." Voldemort started seething with anger. "But then I guess no one can be expected to even come close to the power that the Dark Lord has." Severus finished.

Voldemort seemed to calm down a little at the statement, but still looked as pissed as ever. Only the anger was not directed at Severus, but rather his masked servants standing beside him. Voldemort kept sending them sneering angry glances, even clutching his wand as if he was seriously considering hexing them right then and there.

"As I am finally honored by your presence, I know that they indeed are your servants. I can even feel your power, so strong and…" Severus cut off as he trembled.

"Does it frighten you?" Voldemort asked his eyes shining with greed.

"Yes my Lord." Severus answered in a small voice.

"Does it fascinate you?"

Severus was quiet for a minute, before responding, "Very much so, my Lord."

Voldemorts mouth turned into a big smile that made his face even more repulsive. "Do you crave this power?" He asked in a sickly sweet voice.

Severus gulped as he nodded his head. "Yes my Lord," He whispered. "It is unlike anything I have ever seen, it is truly magnificent."

"Will you help our cause then?" Voldemort asked.

"Of course." Severus said as if it were the most natural thing to say. "Anything to be of use to the Dark Lord."

Voldemort seemed to be overjoyed at this. "You will make the Wolfsbane potion."

"If that is what my Lord wishes." Severus answered, bowing his head in respect. "Though I want to do more."

"You want to serve?" Voldemort asked with a smirk.

Severus slowly raised is head as if he could barely believe what he was hearing, the big wide black eyes that shone in intimidation met the red demanding snake eyes. "Yes my Lord, anything to get the acknowledgment and praise of the Dark Lord." Severus whispered his voice trembling. "I can't help but crave your power."

To say that Voldemort looked delighted would be an understatement as his red eyes lit up with fire and he grinned like the mad man that he was. "And serve you shall." He smiled widely. "Already now you have shown the potential for great power, a potential I will help you realize." He clapped his hands together as the big green snake looked menacingly at Severus. "If you prove yourself, I can see a future where the Dark Lord will have a Prince. Oh yes, I can see it now. Fitting considering your heritage." He smirked. "But unfortunately that old fool seems stubborn."

"He is a fool." Severus complied. "He is blind and senile, it's only his foolishness that keeps him from seeing what the future should be like."

Voldemort seemed somewhat surprised, but quickly composed himself. "Do you suggest we finish him then?" Voldemort asked.

"I want to see him suffer," Severus sneered. "He left me, his own flesh and blood to grow up in the cruel muggle world. He does not know how much I suffered growing up surrounded by the animals those muggles are. He should have known that muggles are nothing but animals and not worthy of our world, even my own muggle father…" Severus cut off as he shockingly saw Voldemort covering his mouth with his hands as his eyes widened in shock and disgust. "Please, my Lord, don't judge me on my father." Severus pleaded. "Judge me instead on my old blood."

Voldemort stepped closer to take a hold of Severus' chin with his slim hand. "It is okay my servant." Voldemort whispered in what could almost have been a caring voice, while his hand rested Severus' cheek. "You will only be judged on what worth you can prove yourself to be to me, so I shall punish the old man for you." He took back the hand as he stood up.

"My lord." Severus whispered. "It is my seventeenth birthday and it would be even better with a gift."

"What do you want?" Voldemorts eyes gleamed with intrigue.

"Apart from serving the Dark Lord and to have a part of his power." Severus hesitated. "Let me punish the old man personally, I want him to suffer from my hand just as I have suffered from his as he never came to my aid."

"You shall have that present." Voldemort nodded. "It is fitting that you find me the day you step into adulthood and begin your new life. Come!" he demanded of Severus and his Death Eaters. "Let us go and visit the elder Prince."

Together they walked out of the hallway and down to the cellar where Voldemort let one of his Death Eaters open the door so Augustus Prince was fully exposed in the light of the hallway.

"Do your best." Voldemort nodded.

"My Lord." Severus hesitated. "I do not have my wand."

"Then you must have it back." Voldemort nodded acknowledging. "Give him his wand." Voldemort demanded.

The masked Death Eater that Severus knew to be Bellatrix hesitated. "Do you think that is a good idea my Lord."

Voldemorts eyes suddenly shone very furiously and dangerously. "Do you dare to defy me?" He asked.

"No my Lord!" Bellatrix immediately proclaimed as she retrieved Severus' wand. Which Severus took only to shoot three well aimed beams right back at Bellatrix who fell flat on her back to the great amusement of Voldemort, who laughed coldly.

"That's for slapping me around like a worthless rag doll!" Severus growled, and then turned to Augustus. "And you old man! You are going to pay for your sins!" he hissed.

Augustus looked exhaustedly at Severus with sad eyes from where he sat in the far corner covered by shadow where he was barely visible. "I have no idea what you mean." He said in a defeated voice.

"Don't be a smart arse with me!" Severus roared in pure anger. "So _grandfather_, you never thought I was good enough for you did you! What about now? I am going to get much more power than you could ever imagine!" And he sent two beams at Augustus that made the old man fly into the air and landing flat on his stomach with his face to the wall.

"You and your stupid old ways!" Severus sent another beam at the old man that lay on the ground. "Can't you see what the dark Lord is building! It is magnificent!" He sent a confundus to the old man throwing him across the room once again like a limp doll.

Voldemort was genuinely laughing behind Severus, as if this was the best show he had ever witnessed.

"I am the real Prince heir! And _you_ should have treated me like it!" he roared, before pulling up his silver watch from his pocket and caressing it with his finger. "Letting me rot with those muggles… this is no where near good enough for all you have done to me." Severus hissed. "I know," a wicked smile began to spread across his face. "_CRUCIO!_" And the figure started twitching and yelling in pain. "Oh shut up." Severus sneered. "_Silencio_, _CRUCIO!_" And the figure twisted in pain again though this time not a word was to be heard other than Voldemorts roaring laughter.

"Enough." Voldemort finally said after having finished laughing. "We don't want to finish him just yet. I am sure that you will want to have your present to laugh at later." Voldemort smirked. "Beside you have a job to do."

Severus shrugged and stopped his torture of the old man hidden in the shadows of the cell.

"Your first task will be to make that potion."

"I will need a cauldron my Lord." Severus bowed his head. "And the ingredients."

"Follow me." Voldemort smirked and led them upstairs where they went through yet another door to get to a potions lab. Here on a potions table sat a cauldron ready for use with the ingredients neatly placed around it."

Severus started appraising the supplies with a critical eye. "Where's the unicorn hair?" He asked.

The Death Eaters started shifting on their feet as Voldemort sent them a questioning look, as if to say, what did you do now.

"The formula didn't say anything about unicorn hair." A Death Eater murmured.

"Then you have the old failed formula." Severus said smoothly. "The real formula specifically calls for unicorn hair. It's the main ingredient and activates the affects of the potion."

"No, this formula was public domain, and it doesn't say anything about unicorn hair!" Another Death Eater seethed.

Severus looked at him as if he were an idiot. "I invented that potion, are you really questioning me about the ingredients?"

"You insolent fools." Voldemort hissed. "Why is it that something so simple can escape you! Just get him the damn unicorn hair, _NOW!_"

"But we don't know where to get it!" A Death Eater stumbled over his own feet as he bowed apologetically.

"You idiots!" Voldemort hissed. "_Crucio!_" And the unfortunate Death Eater fell to the ground, screaming in pain.

"I have my own private supply." Severus offered. "At my home, my Lord."

"Then I will send some of my servants to get it." Voldemort hissed.

"I wouldn't place such a valuable thing where just anyone could get to it." Severus gulped. "It is in locked away in my Mokeskin chest, of which only I can open."

"Fine, then you get it." Voldemort hissed.

"But my Lord." Burst out one lone Death Eater standing near the back of the group, his head bowed in respect.

Severus lifted an eyebrow at him. "If you are concerned that I am not going to return, why don't some of you join me?" He asked.

The Death Eaters looked at each other in confusion.

"What are you waiting for?" Voldemort fumed. "Go with the boy, I can't stand looking at you idiots for another second!"

Severus bowed his head in respect as he walked toward the entrance of the manor, followed by five Death Eaters, though they were pretty quick to grab a hold of him so he couldn't get away.

As soon as they were outside Severus looked at them coldly. "Ready to apparate?" He asked innocently as the Death Eaters took hold of each other, and before they knew it he apparated them with a loud crack. Suddenly they all stood in what looked like a paper filled office.

Several people gaping at them.

"WHAT THE DEVIL!" A rough looking man right in front of Severus exclaimed. While Severus allowed himself a little chuckle.


	24. Happy Birthday Severus

"WHAT THE DEVIL!" Shouted a roughly scarred man.

Severus nodded courtly to, the yet to be injured, Alastor Moody and the other Aurors standing around flabbergasted in the Auror head quarters of the Ministry of Magic.

"I brought you a gift." He said shortly before turning around. "Immobulus!" He shot at four out of the five Death Eaters so that they fell to the ground before they had a chance to compose themselves and fight for their freedom. "Except this one." Severus grabbed the last Death Eater by the arm, pulling him forward. "He was just playing a part."

Then, said 'Death Eater', reached for his mask flinging it off. "And lets hope I will _never_ need to do anything like that again." Augustus Prince stated.

"PRINCE!" Moody exclaimed. "We thought you were taken captive by Voldemort. We have been looking everywhere for you over the past two weeks!"

"I was taken by Voldemort." Prince acknowledged. "I, quite literately, just arrived directly from my holding cell at his headquarters."

"And you are?" Alastor Moody looked at Severus.

"Severus Snape." He answered.

"You were taken by Death Eaters only three hours ago in Hogsmeade." He stated in his, ever resounding, interrogation tone as the other Aurors rambled around to get the Death Eaters unmasked and taken away. "Tell me, how did you escape?"

"Actually, I personally had nothing to do with that, it was all this young mans doing." Augustus started. "It was quite extraordinary really. He tricked Voldemort into letting him go for potion supplies and just walked out, like that." The old man said as he snapped his fingers like he had just demonstrated a cheap muggle magic trick.

"How?" Moody barked as he squinted his brown eyes. "One does not just walk out on Voldemort, and that you arrived in Death Eater robes seems highly suspicious to me."

Severus was just about to open his mouth.

"Shut it kid, I am talking to the adult here." Moody sneered.

Severus bit his lips together as he counted to ten inside of his head.

"No listen, this is definitely not a child." Augustus blurted out. "We should all treat Mr. Snape with the greatest respect."

"I will respect whomever I choose, and a boy who just turned 17 today is not someone I often want to listen to." Moody retorted. "In any case I'll be questioning him later."

"Of all the disrespectful…" Augustus started but was cut off.

"You better start explaining and not waste my time." Moody threatened. "That is unless you want to spend a week in Azkaban before continuing this interrogation."

Severus noticed that Augustus also had to bite back his tongue, while closing his eyes, and seemingly counting to ten before opening his mouth again. "Well, it was quite extraordinary as I said. I was taken against my will about two weeks ago. They wanted me to brew the Wolfsbane potion for them so they both had a way to recruit more werewolves and to control them during the full moon. They wanted to start building a controllable army of werewolves. I of course continually refused and therefore have spent all the time since my capture in that cell. About three hours ago or so I was joined by young Mr. Snape here, who is the original inventor of the potion, and he offered me a plan of escape. He would play along with Voldemorts good side and trick him into giving his wand back, where after he hexed a Death Eater to look like me and then did a replacement charm on both of us so we switched places. He then tricked Voldemort into letting him go home, escorted by a few Death Eaters, for missing potion supplies that the Wolfsbane potion required. He quite literally, walked out."

Moody looked doubtfully at Augustus. "That does indeed sound extraordinary." He commented dryly. "And unbelievable, so Voldemort just handed his wand back? And let him go? Tell me kid, what did you say to him?"

Severus looked sullenly at Moody, who was a good head lower than himself, as he answered, "That I craved his power. " Severus shrugged, "And that I feared him. I told him what I figured he wanted to hear."

"You must be one hell of an actor." Moody snorted. "How did he get to you?" Moody returned to Augustus.

"Quite ingenious really." Augustus huffed. "He convinced Voldemort that I was his grandfather and that he was bitter towards me and wanted to punish me personally. It's amazing how fate treats you well sometimes, my old watch must have supported your story."

"Erm.. Well, actually..." For once Severus was lost for words.

Also Moody seemed confused.

Augustus lifted an eyebrow.

"I had hoped this would have come up during better circumstances." Severus hesitated. "Biologically and technically speaking…" He sighed. "You _are_ my grandfather."

Augustus furrowed his brows as he looked at Severus with a blank expression. "Excuse me?"

Severus sighed, sitting up as straight as he could. "Eileen Prince Snape, your daughter, was my mother."

Augustus looked absolutely flabbergasted, for the first time losing his dignified composure as he silently gaped at Severus.

Moody hrmpfed. "You seriously want to tell me you didn't know?" Moody asked. "It is all in the papers, even I knew that."

"I thought she died many years ago." Augustus was still staring wide eyed at Severus, as if he had grown an extra head. "She just vanished from the face of the earth almost twenty years ago, I did look for her but couldn't find her."

"Turns out she married a muggle." Moody shortly and stiffly explained as he looked through some papers in his hands. "One Tobias Snape this says, congratulation Prince, it's a boy! Now, convince me that your story is true, because I still don't even believe as much as one tenth of it."

As the afternoon went on both Severus and Augustus didn't get any free time to talk to each other. They were separated and asked questions to see if their stories matched. Then they were requested to give memories for pensive review, which they both agreed to, only to be questioned yet again.

At last Moody was standing in front of Severus with his arms crossed. "I still don't believe you." he growled. "Because the thing is, I see three possible explanations, either your working with Voldemort and your dear grandfather here and all three of you are using charms or some other form of magic to trick us." At this Severus became a little more attentive. "Or you are being used by Voldemort for something. In which case you're innocent, but dangerous and I shouldn't let you go. Or I am looking at the most God damn powerful wizard the world has produced in a century. Even compared to the threats we have currently walking around threatening all of us. Imagine what you would be able to do once you reached my age? As nice as it would be to think the last, and we all know we need a powerful ally against Voldemort, it just doesn't seem that likely, now does it." Moody frowned. "Show me that replacement charm." he suddenly demanded. "You claim to have done it wordlessly and well enough to not only make them switch places, but switch places beneath their clothes. I can't come up with anyone who would be able to pull a stunt like that!"

Severus shrugged. "Fine, who do you want me to do it to?" He asked.

"How about those two?" Moody pointed at two young people who seemed rather unimportant, probably just Auror trainees. One was a tall black man with extremely short hair, almost bald and a golden earring, he looked somewhat familiar, the other one was one Frank Longbottom who Severus recognized from the train station last summer.

Severus shrugged and waved his wand at the two young men, switching them quickly and easily from one set of clothes to the other. Upon discovering this the two young Aurors began to stammer confusedly at each other and those around them, trying to figure out what had just happened.

"Merlin's beard." Moody muttered, obviously impressed. "Had I not seen it with my own eyes I would not have believed it." he then looked sternly at Severus. "Who taught you this charm, anyway? I've never heard of it in all my life."

"I did." Severus stated confidently. "And it's really not that hard do or understand." Severus shrugged. "Instead of wasting your time with aiming at the location you intend to switch, you just home in on the living tissues, the energy of the object and make the switch." Severus made an extra shrug. "It's obvious." He stared sullenly at Moody.

Moody could only return an apprehensive glare. "As you may have already concluded on your own I have to let you go, but I will keep my eyes on you Mr. Snape. If you really did simply walk out on Voldemort, you are definitely going to be on his hit list. But then again if you did trick the most powerful wizard of our time, as you claim to have done, what can't you do eh? I know kids like you, always wanting to take on the world, but trust me, we don't need or want another Voldemort. We also don't want a war with the two of you fighting for control and everyone else is stuck in the middle. If you make one wrong move I will be sure to stop you before that can even happen, you hear me kid? So no wise ideas about having all the power and glory to yourself!"

Severus looked coldly at Moody. "I hear you Moody." he retorted. "But now you listen to me, I am not interested in power, I don't want it. All I want is to see my friends safe and happy. So you don't have to bother wasting government resources by watching me."

Moody raised an eyebrow, though he still kept his hard brown eyes focused sternly on Severus. "If that's the case I guess I should be lucky hrmpf" he growled. "Come on kid, somebody's been nagging me about seeing you ever since you got here."

Severus sighed, it would take an idiot not to realize it was Dumbledore who was there to pick him up. And true enough just as he stepped out of Moody's office, Dumbledore met him with a relieved look in his eyes.

As his conversation with Headmaster Dumbledore broke off the scruffy looking blonde, Head of Magical Law Enforcement, Barty Crouch Senior, gazed warily at Severus. His icy blue eyes saying everything for him. Moody wasn't the only Auror that would be watching Severus' every move.

"Now you didn't hurt my student did you Alastor?" Dumbledore amusedly asked Moody.

"What do you take me for!" Moody asked sourly. "A Death Eater? That's an insult!" And he pushed Severus forward. "Here, he's all yours, but you better keep and eye on this one, there's something smelly about this whole thing."

"I will take the same precautions that I always do." Dumbledore said seriously looking at Moody. Severus was not blind to the wordless exchange, Dumbledore knew that something was up with Severus. He had probably been keeping an eye on Severus for a while now.

Then Dumbledore turned back with a light smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes. "Well Mr. Snape, I do believe we should be headed back."

"Stop right there!" The door was suddenly thrown open by a hurried Augustus Prince who seemed a little out of breath. "Thank you for making me aware that you were done with Severus." He said after composing himself and sending an annoyed sarcastic look at Moody, who just returned a well aimed growl.

"Albus." Augustus nodded his head towards Dumbledore.

"Augustus." Dumbledore smiled. "It has been a while my friend? About Five years now, right?"

"Twenty three." Augustus answered flatly and sourly. "And if you don't mind, my grandson and I just had a very intense life threatening experience, so I would very much like to talk to him."

"I'm afraid that doesn't sit well with me and the staff of Hogwarts." Dumbledore sighed. "We just want him to be returned to safety as quickly as possible, beside it is getting rather late."

"Don't you think he deserves a day off to compose himself away from prying eyes?." Augustus retorted. "Anyone would be shaken after such an experience" he sent an all knowing look to Severus. "Right?"

"Yes, very." Severus shot in despite not feeling shocked at all.

"Are you sure?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "Your friends will be very worried."

This made Severus hesitate, but then he looked as Augustus. They did indeed have much to discuss and if they didn't do it now who knew when they would have the chance. As soon as Voldemort discovered he had been tricked, they would both be on the top of his death list. "Headmaster, I really need to talk to Mr. Prince, and a day off would indeed be welcoming, but if you could please tell Lily that I am fine that would be most appreciated." He at last said.

Dumbledore didn't seem completely happy about it, but he also knew he had no right to just drag Severus with him. "Very well." He agreed. "I will be expecting you to floo directly into my office tomorrow at two o'clock, is that fine with you?"

"Yes sir." Severus nodded.

"Well, I guess a happy birthday is in order Mr. Snape." Dumbledore nodded. "And I will be seeing you tomorrow. Alastor, would you escort me, I should like a word." The two men left leaving Augustus and Severus alone in the room.

There was an awkward silence as the two stood there nervously observing each other. Before finally looking away and then looking back at each other again.

"How is it that everyone but me knew about you?" Augustus then at last broke the silence.

Severus lifted an eyebrow. "If it is any consolation, I didn't know anything about you before last summer."

"You mean, Eileen never told you about me?" Augustus asked, looking a little hurt.

"She never spoke much." Severus answered.

Augustus shook his head. "That's nothing new, she was always very shy and quiet." He said seeming very uneasy with the conversation. "Now that I know I can see the resemblance" he tried to say, but it just came off as awkward until he at last sighed. "Was she at least happy?"

Severus had a choice now, he could either tell the blunt truth, that Eileen never did find any happiness in her short miserable life or he could lie. No one would ever have to know as there was no proof left. Eileen was gone, Tobias was gone, even their house had burned to the ground. Severus was the only one left who knew the truth and therefore the sole person to decide whether or not to let the truth carry on or to lie about it. Even his own memories of her were shadowy since they had technically happened over twenty-two years ago. What Severus did remember more clearly was the memory of his mothers peaceful spirit in the afterlife.

"Yes." Severus then answered. "She loved me very much."

"How." Augustus voice sounded dry. "How did she die."

"Illness." Severus answered. "She went peacefully in her sleep."

Augustus closed his eyes but still sat up straight. "What about your father?" Augustus asked. "I heard he was assumed dead as well."

Severus looked at Augustus. "He died in a fire" Severus smoothly lied, though with a heavily strained voice.

Augustus cleared his throat as he composed himself. "It is truly a shame that I should find out about you, only after such horrible tragedies." Augustus stated.

Severus nodded his face an emotionless mask, in his mind it could not have been timed any better.

Augustus sighed for once actually appearing as old as he probably was, his posture losing a bit of its rigidness as his shoulders began to fall from exhaustion. "I guess we are both tired, how about we find a place to rest for the night and then continue our conversation in the morning?"

"That would be most agreeable." Severus nodded.

They ended up simply using the inn that was right beside the ministry, as it was probably one of the safest places to be when you are a target for capture. The inn was called "The Fiery Dragon," and it reminded him of the Leaky Cauldron. The only difference was that it was a little less shabby since many ministry workers went there for a drink after a hard days work. Even the minister of magic himself had been known to stop by for a Fire Whiskey on Wednesdays after work. And for those reasons alone there were many protective wards surrounding the inn.

Augustus asked for separate rooms and handed Severus his own key.

"I need to go and get some decent clothing." Augustus gestured uncomfortably to the black Death Eater robes he was still wearing. "You get some rest."

"Thank you sir." Severus nodded.

"Please," Augustus said in a tired voice, "call me Augustus, not only are we family but you saved my life, and I know it would probably be to much to ask to be called grandfather at this time."

Severus looked at the tired old man, who seemed like he was just now realizing the horrors he had been through in the past two weeks, he suddenly seemed old and tired, Severus, nodded slowly, "Okay."

"Happy birthday Severus." Augustus said as he turned around and walked away.

* * *

_Beta-read by MdV-B_


	25. crash down

Severus had always been a light sleeper and because of it, slept very little. He was an early riser and could not possibly sleep for more than six hours, unless he had been through something that left his body physically exhausted. So that was probably why it was still pitch black outside when he woke, and also why he was wide awake and could not possibly sleep anymore.

He got up and dressed himself in the dark reddish brown robes that had been a birthday gift from Lily and had worn when he had been taken from Hogsmead. In the front pocket he could feel his new watch ticking and he took it up to let it rest in his hand. Once again looking at the engravings of a flying hawk with a crown and big "P" in the centre, the Prince family crest. He finally had someone sane to call family, that was something completely new. Severus knew that technically he was related to almost all of the major pureblood families. He was a second cousins to both the two Black brothers and the three Black sisters, not to mention grand-nephew to Abraxas Malfoy, but he didn't feel like it counted as anything.

The Prince family wasn't just pureblood, they were pureblood royalty. Severus sighed as he sat down and looked out of the window, only to be met by the sight of pitch black darkness, as he mindlessly opened the watch to look at the time. It was now 6:12 a.m. that wasn't to bad of a time. He had been tired and it had been an eventful day which was probably why he had slept so long in spite of having gone to bed relatively early.

He hoped Lily hadn't lay awake in bed all night, he could imagine her not being able to sleep because of worry for him, and she really shouldn't have to do that. Severus sighed, maybe he shouldn't have let her get so deeply into this and maybe he shouldn't put so much confidence in her. It would make situations like this much easier on her. But it was to late now, and he couldn't help but be selfish. She had been right, he wanted her, and he doubted that even if he went and broke up now would she stop worrying. It had been his choice to do things different this time around, to give his trust to someone, and to be the best person he could be when it came to Lily.

He mused over what he should say to Augustus, but found that he had surprisingly little to say. There was only one thing that bothered him and he hoped Augustus wouldn't object to his request that much.

As the watch snuck up on "7:00," Severus knew the kitchen and front hall would finally open and have coffee ready for the ministry workers that came in early and did not eat from home. So Severus left his room and walked down to get himself some coffee. It appeared that he was not the only early riser as he barely got to pour his coffee when Augustus appeared. True to his parting words the evening before, the older gentleman was wearing wizarding robes that looked very similar to what Severus himself would usually wear.

"Good morning." Augustus gestured as he sat down and also poured himself some coffee.

"Morning." Severus greeted. And then they were both left to that awkward silence again.

Even once they were served breakfast neither of them was really capable of breaking the silence. The muttering from other wizards sounded across the room as well as the loud ticks of the clock on the wall. It all seemed to get more awkward as they both finished their breakfast and sat there quietly sipping their coffee once in a while.

"So." Augustus hesitated. "Seventeen yesterday I gather." He hedged. It was probably hard for Augustus to start a conversation with something so random. Like Severus, he was a man of practical words. But they had to open the conversation somehow, their time was limited.

"Yes." Severus nodded.

"Sure one spectacular birthday." Again, it sounded incredibly awkward when coming out of Augustus' mouth.

Severus snorted. "I could have done fine with less excitement." He commented dryly. "Alastor Moody definitely likes to make people feel at home."

Augustus smirked. "And being taken captive by Death Eaters on a public street along with tricking the most powerful wizard of the centaury was child's play I presume?" he asked with a smirk. "I would not want to be a Death Eater right now."

Severus shook his head. "Furious does not even begin to describe what Voldemort is most likely feeling right now." The chuckle evolved to a sadistic sarcastic laugh. "Just imagine his face when he realizes I tricked him."

Severus and Augustus looked at each other stunned into complete silence, both with widened eyes, before they broke out into genuine laughter. The mental image of Voldemorts shocked face as he realized, what had happened in the front of their minds. He would look like a complete idiot, having been deceived in front of his Death Eaters was just hilarious.

"In trouble is the understatement of the year when describing my situation at this moment in time." Severus couldn't help laughing.

Augustus shook his head as he laughed out. "Boy, if the average Death Eater had half your brains we would be in real trouble."

Severus looked at Augustus with a smirk.

Augustus hrmpfed. "I guess its smart to say that we _are_ in a lot of trouble now." He said in a more serious tone.

Severus nodded. "I will be under the protection of Dumbledore though, but you, do you have anywhere to go?"

"I have my plans." Augustus nodded. "I thought perhaps it was time to get out of the country."

Severus nodded. "Indeed." He hesitated. "About that, I have a request."

"I am listening." Augustus said with a slight smile on his lips as he folded his hands onto the table.

"I guess it is wise to say that by now I am number one on Voldemorts hit list. Not only did I outsmart him, but I out right double crossed him."

Augustus nodded in understanding.

"Chances are he will try and get to me by any means, as you might know. Lily Evans is my girlfriend, it is quite official." Severus looked seriously at Augustus. "I don't have any family or friends outside of school they could target, but she has family. Not only that, she is Muggleborn, her family cannot protect themselves."

"So you want me to take them with me out of the country?" Augustus asked with a raised eyebrow. "Muggles?"

Severus held his breath before he gave a sharp nod. "Yes." He said firmly. "They are good people, and they have helped to take care of me when I was alone."

Augustus looked at Severus thoughtfully. "Very well." He then at last said.

Severus looked at Augustus in surprise, he had not expected this to go so easily.

Augustus just looked back at him in that strict fashion of his. "I suspect you are counting on spending the rest of your life with this girl."

Honestly Severus hadn't thought that far. He had only come to the conclusion that he wanted to protect her at all costs. He loved her and he wanted to stay together with her forever, so he supposed it was the logical conclusion. "Yes." He ended up answering a little stunned.

"Then I will assume that they are future family." Augustus hrmpfed. "Muggles or not, I find myself in no position to lecture you about who to choose." He sighed. "You are far more an adult than other people twice your age, and I am not going to make the same mistake twice." He said when he saw Severus's look of disbelief.

"Thank you." Severus managed to get out.

"Not at all." Augustus cut him off. "If you say they are good people then I will trust your judgement."

"Watch out for her sister." Severus muttered quietly. "She's not exactly easy to get along with."

Augustus lifted a questioning eyebrow.

"At least just try and treat her nicely, I know it can be hard, but just try." Severus asked of him, which only sent the other eyebrow up to the level of the first.

"I'll do my best." Augustus answered, though he seemed like he was asking himself what he had gotten himself into. Then it looked like he eyed something behind Severus. "Ah!" He exclaimed. "Good of you to come so early."

Severus turned around to see a man come shuffling forward. He was a shabby looking man, with strands, of what seemed to be, fur all over his clothes and feathers in his hair. Severus' eyes wandered from the man to what he was holding and discovered a cage with a bird inside.

"Happy seventeenth birthday." Augustus gestured.

Severus blinked. "But you all ready gave me a present." He reached for the silver watch.

Augustus shrugged. "I don't care what you call it, compensation for all the wasted years, thank you for saving my life, a practical way to keep contact." He reached for the cage as he gave a nod to the man, who had to be the shop owner of an animal store. "The money I am going to put in your vault is your simple right as my heir." Augustus finished to Severus.

Severus could only look at Augustus with a defeated smile as he shook his head. There probably would be little use arguing over any of Augustus gestures. So Severus might as well just save his breath. He looked at the owl in the cage.

It was not a very large owl, about the size of a crow, which for him was a practical size. As Severus looked at it the bird it returned his gaze with it's sharp yellow eyes, which were small for an owl, but still distinct and sharp looking, The bird had a thick black stripe on each side of its white face. Its brown forehead was spotted white and its white breast had dark brown horizontal stripes.

"A female Northern Hawk Owl." Augustus explained. "A very fast flyer, intelligent and difficult to spot in the air, plus it's one of the more social types of owls." He without hesitation put a hand in the cage to pet the owl. "It's the only kind of owl I myself have ever used, an owl should be practical, not big and impressive." He said and simply handed the cage with owl to Severus. "I own her mate, so she will always be able to find me. I'm sure that your redhead will be happy to be able to contact her family to."

Hesitantly Severus reached inside the cage for the owl, who didn't mind as he stroked her head with his finger, in fact she gave a satisfied purring sound. "What's her name?" Severus asked.

"Desdemona." Augustus told him. "Her mate is Othello, I am afraid I have always been rubbish at names but ha a weakness for Shakespeare."

"I think I will just call her Mona then." Severus smirked as he stroked the owl with his hand. "Thank you."

"Not at all." Augustus shrugged. "I shall expect weekly updates from you."

"If Lily's family is going to be with you, that could easily be daily, if Lily has anything to say about it." Severus commented.

"I know these people matter to you, so I shall try and treat them with respect. But if I am going to be holed up with Muggles I will need you to write me some sensible letters." Augustus complained. "Or I just might loose my mind."

"I shall try and do as you request by writing to you often and give you your diversion." Severus smirked.

Mona was quickly put to use as Severus sent a letter to Lily's parents explaining the situation.

He also remembered to tell about his lie to Augustus and asked them to keep up the pretence that Eileen and he had been happy. He also asked them to be ready with suitcases by the end of the day.

Unfortunately they could not spend all day together, so Severus and Augustus parted ways shortly after that. Augustus needed to start making arrangements for getting out of the country as fast as possible, and that left Severus with not much to do before it would be two o'clock and time to go back to Hogwarts. He couldn't even venture outside because the risk of being spotted was to great. So he ended up just trying to relax and compose his mind while reading the daily prophet, which contained an article about the Death Eater attack in Hogsmead. A list over this weeks missing people and an article giving tips on how to cope with losses. And he'd had enough of it rather quickly, before moving along to the few books that were to be found at the inn. He could of course just floo to Dumbledore's office early, but he really dreaded the conversation he undoubtedly would have with the Headmaster, so he tried to ready himself for it. Yet he still did not feel ready when it was finally almost two.

Finally, having enough with his indecisiveness, Severus simply just gritted his teeth and emptied his mind as he made himself ready for the up coming questioning and threw the green powder into the fireplace while calling out, "Albus Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts." A few seconds later he gracefully stepped out of the floo to face a surprised yet expectant Albus Dumbledore.

"Ah, Mr. Snape." Dumbledore smiled with that ever present twinkle in his eyes, though behind it Severus could see a trace of worry. "So good of you to come."

"Headmaster." Severus nodded.

"I trust you and Augustus got to say all that you needed to for the time being?" Dumbledore asked politely.

"Yes sir." Severus nodded. "We are not going to see each other for a while."

"Ah, I expected as much myself." Dumbledore nodded with a spark of sadness in his eyes. "Both of you are at the top of Voldemorts death list now, I should imagine."

"Yes sir." Severus nodded.

"Please have a seat." Dumbledore gestured at the chair in front of his desk, which Severus quietly sat in. "Lemon drop?" Dumbledore asked cheerfully. Severus just stared annoyed at him at the mere request.

Dumbledore smiled, amused by the young mans response, before putting the bowl of lemon drops down again and fold his hands while resting his elbows on this desk. His eyes going from amused to serious as he got down to business.

"Mr. Snape." the Headmaster began. "Alastor Moody has already told me everything he thinks he has found out, but I would like to hear the story from your own mouth." He said folding his hands, resting his arms on the desk, as he leaned over the desk. "If you don't mind."

Severus raised an eyebrow, he doubted that he actually had much of a choice. If he didn't want to face any unforeseen consequences, such as constant surveillance and distrust from the entire staff of Hogwarts, he had better answer the waiting Headmaster. There was no point really, Dumbledore already knew everything, so Severus complied. He simply told the entire story from when he was attacked by Death Eaters in Hogsmead and ended as he apparated all of them to the auror headquarters.

Dumbledore chuckled, his amused twinkle back in his eyes, before he returned to more serious matters. "Mr. Snape," Dumbledore began, "What am I supposed to think of you? What am I supposed to do about you?"

Severus raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I think it's best to just put all of our cards on the table don't you?" Dumbledore asked.

Severus held his breath, as he looked emotionless at Dumbledore, considering his situation.

Dumbledore sighed. "Okay, I guess it's only fair that I start." He stated. "I have had my eye on you for quite some time now." Dumbledore admitted to him. "Your outburst last June did not go unnoticed, and neither did your change in attitude after that. You appeared to have completely changed your priorities as well as your circle of friends and quite abruptly I might add."

Severus just kept looking at Dumbledore without showing any emotion.

"I have been told that you have gotten yourself a new burst of confidence, if you don't mind me saying." Dumbledore smiled. "Horace is very pleased and happy with you, it has been proven quite difficult to make him keep quiet about you. I've been led to believe a certain girl has something to do with that, I believe a congratulations is in order."

Severus relaxed somewhat at that statement, and managed to give a slight smile.

"As I am very sure that she is part of the reason for your change, I've decided that your not a threat so far. That you obviously feel that way towards others tells me a lot about you and it makes this old foolish man both happy and relieved. I don't think that you're deliberately doing any harm. Does that ease your concern?" Dumbledore asked.

Severus smirked lightly as he gave a small nod.

"However." Dumbledore continued, his face suddenly serious again. "It is not enough to explain everything." Dumbledore stated matter of factly. "And now you have fooled the greatest most dangerous wizard of the century, excuse me if I find that a little suspicious."

Severus lifted an eyebrow.

"I think there is something you are not telling me." Dumbledore flat out admitted. "And I would very much like to know what it is. In your tale, which I do believe by the way, I can spot several amazing magical feats you should not be able to accomplish" Dumbledore counted his fingers as he continued. "The use of occlumensy, I know Voldemort, he can tell when people are lying to him, he is an expert at legilimency. However, I do see what you did, your life story is identical to Voldemorts, it was very clever of you to make him think he was seeing a younger version of himself. Knowing how he is, your story blinded him from the truth just long enough to trick him, but I am still certain that you used occlumency as well. It also makes me wonder how you know that Voldemort and Tom Marvolo Riddle are the same person." He wondered aloud, having reached a third finger, in his list of curiosities pertaining to Severus' escape, before continuing with a fourth. "Transfigured Mrs. Lestrange to look like Augustus." 'How does he know it was Bellatrix,' wondered Severus.

"That I did not do." Severus lifted an eyebrow. "Merely changed her hair a bit and made sure she lay, face down, in a dark corner."

Dumbledore chuckled lightly. "Never the less, you did so in less than a second without having at least a clear view of her face." Dumbledore held his hand up fingers splayed. "Apparated not only yourself but five passengers, as well, into the auror office." Dumbledore lifted an eyebrow. "In spite of my own great power and experience, I myself could not have accomplished that at your age and did not until I was almost 32. And still I only mastered it with help." The bright blue eyes looked calculatingly at Severus. "So." Dumbledore stated very seriously. "Care to share what you are hiding?"

Severus looked at Dumbledore, considering whether to tell him or not and then he realized something. There was absolutely no reason why he should not tell Dumbledore, none at all.

Severus had one goal, to keep Lily and the people he cared for safe, not to mention other people across the country. Dumbledore could help him, in fact having Dumbledore's trust would be very valuable. Not to mention he himself could be valuable to Dumbledore in the fight against Voldemort. So in other words, they were valuable to each other. Dumbledore only wanted the best, his methods could be questionable but his goals were always pure. Severus tried to think of any reason why he shouldn't tell, but found none. Only that if he didn't tell, Dumbledore would consider him a threat and waste resources by keeping him under observation, resources that were really more useful elsewhere.

"Very well." Severus breathed.

Surprised Dumbledore blinked at Severus. "Oh." He uttered mildly shocked. Then he broke into a soft smile. "Well, that definitely makes things a lot less complicated."

Severus nodded.

"So," Dumbledore breathed. "What is it you have been keeping a secret Mr. Snape?"

"I'm dead." Severus said flatly.

Dumbledore lifted his eyebrows looking oddly at Severus but kept quiet waiting for Severus to explain.

"I was thirty eight years old, I died, and suddenly I was back here and sixteen again." Severus crossed his arms looking challenging at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore blinked rapidly as he stared at Severus. "Well, that absolutely sounds like a rather unique situation." Dumbledore commented.

"Indeed." Severus nodded. "It was apparently that or spending eternity as a ghost."

"Interesting." Was Dumbledore's only comment. His mind really seemed to be working fast for the next couple of moments as Severus sat there watching him.

"You doubt me Albus?" Severus asked in familiar tones he would usually use when conversing with the Headmaster in his old life.

"No." Dumbledore shook his head, not even commenting on the use of his first name. "I can't see why anyone would give such a lie, so logically it must be the truth." He furrowed his brow. "Last June, only the day after your outburst, I had a visitor here in my office giving me some startling information. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" Dumbledore asked.

Severus shrugged, well he might as well just go all the way so he drew his wand. "Expecto patronum." He shouted and the silver doe sprang out and began prancing around the office before dissolving into a fine silver mist.

Dumbledore watched in thoughtful silence as the silver mist slowly dissolved. "I am guessing you want to help in the fight against Voldemort since you have told me all of this."

Severus nodded. "I just want my friends to be safe."

"And you've already made all the mistake of youth too." Dumbledore shook his head. "There is no need for me to say that I am very happy you chose to tell me this. You are undoubtedly a very valuable alley."

"Ditto." Severus answered with a smirk. "Though I would appreciate it if you kept this to yourself."

"Oh, no need to even ask." Dumbledore chuckled. "I am very good with secrets."

"Trust me I know." Severus muttered darkly.

The hours passed quickly with Dumbledore asking questions and Severus explaining, although only what he didn't deem to be too personal. He explained that both Dumbledore himself along with Voldemort had taught Severus a lot of advanced magic. Although he did not tell him that the reason he had, originally, turned from the Dark Lord was because of Lily, and he never said anything about the Potter kid. However, he did tell Dumbledore about the Horcruxes and what Dumbledore had said in his previous life, though he left a few things out.

Severus was released from Dumbledore's office just in time to catch dinner. As he neared the Great Hall he could hear the loud dim of students as they conversed with each other. Though the snippets he could catch were actually mostly about the Death Eater attack and himself.

As he entered the great hall, the people nearest to him suddenly stopped talking to stare at him wide eyed. The people beside them noticing the change would then try and see what their neighbours were looking at, only to also catch sight of him. Soon the volume in the Great Hall began to get lower and lower as more and more people turned in his direction. Before long it was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. And then all at once all hell broke loose.

"Wasn't he taken by Death Eaters?"

"How are you here!"

"Where did you come from!"

"Are you all right!"

"I was there, I saw him get taken, I swear!"

Peoples voices started growing louder and louder as they started crowding him, asking all sorts of questions. The sudden crowding and shouting was making Severus dizzy and for once he was longing for his authority as a teacher when students simply have left him alone in a situation like this. He even started feeling claustrophobic, a headache was forming from all the loud questioning voices and he was suddenly on the brink of panic as people refused to leave his personal space. Salvation came from the most unlikely source imaginable.

"Get out of the way!" James Potter yelled as he burst through the crowd violently pushing them away. "Your with me Snape." He grabbed Severus and drew him backwards and out of the hall.

As they had gotten a safe distance from the crowd Severus tore himself away from Potters grasp. "And where do you suppose you are taking me?" he asked coldly.

"Gryffindor common room." James said flatly. "Before Lily tears the whole place apart in frustration, she's clearly sick with worry about you."

Shocked Severus blinked at James before he simply nodded. "Well, lead the way then." He demanded.

Together they hurried to the Gryffindor Tower where Potter uttered the password and led Severus through the portrait hole. It didn't take long for Severus to find Lily, who was staring into the fire looking pale, with Remus awkwardly trying to talk to her

"Lily." Severus uttered.

Slowly Lily lifted her head and Severus could see just how pale she looked. "Oh God Sev." she exclaimed her eyes wide with shock and surprise.

Severus hurried to her side. "Lily!" he repeated, like an idiot and embraced her.

And then she burst into tears, as if she had been holding them inside all day. "You idiot! I thought you were dead!" she said in a bitter tone. "Dumbledore said you would be back at two, and now it's six! Don't you know how to look at a timepiece?" she grumbled. "Merlin, I was left to think you were hurt."

"Lily, I'm sorry." Severus said. "But I'm fine now, see I am right here."

"That still makes you and Idiot!" Lily scolded him despite also snuggling closer to his body. "That's the second time you've left me out when there's danger." She said as she held back a sob before burring her face into his chest.

Severus calmly slipped his hand through her beautiful red hair as she held onto him tightly while occasionally cursing and swearing at him. Suddenly Severus realized what he had reduced her to. Lily was all about protecting people, and lately him in particular. Yet he could never put her in danger and that meant leaving her behind when facing danger.

"Lily." He whispered softly. "I need you to consider this, am I worth this? This is the second time, first was when I had to escape the Death Eaters over the summer. Second I was taken captive and faced Voldemort himself, there will be a third time. I will not be able to rest before I know you are safe, and that means ridding the world of Voldemort for good." He looked at her. "What could possibly be next when I go out."

"Then don't leave me out." Lily demanded while looking at him with wet eyes, with an annoyed look on her face.

"I can't." Severus whispered in a hoarse voice, he could feel the horror inside of him at the mere thought of bringing her along. It was terrifying, unlike anything he had ever experienced. "I only want one thing, and that is to keep you safe." He again slid his fingers through her hair. "That's all that matters to me."

"Your such a dumbass." She hissed. "I am not going to leave you. I'll fight through all of Voldemorts Death Eaters if I have to! Has it ever occurred to you that I _want_ to help! I _want_ to fight! And I sure as hell _won__'__t_ leave!"

Shocked he pulled away to face her red eyes, but what really scared him was the iron determination and passion behind them. A real wanting to rush and fight for those she loved, a willingness to die to protect those she loved and she was genuinely scared for his safety.

Severus then remembered his plea to his grandfather earlier in the day, how his connection to Lily put both her and her parents in danger.

And he realized, he should never have done it, he should never have shared his burden with Lily, it was all a mistake. And if he didn't correct it now he would never be able to do it again. He would not have peace before Voldemort was gone for good, and there was no way she was going in the line of battle for him. He was not afraid for his own life, only hers.

"You must." He then uttered. "Lily, I can't do this anymore." He said. "I can't watch you like this the next time it happens, I can't have you going after me! It's just not right."

"What do you mean?" Lily looked at him.

"Lily I can't do this." Severus stated. "We can't be together, you need to let go of me."

Lily just looked blankly at him. "I still don't understand." She muttered.

Severus closed his eyes and bowed his head. "Lily, I'm breaking up with you." He finally said. "I am asking you to stay away from me."

"What?" Lily looked shocked at him. "Sev, you don't mean that.. your.. your…"

"I'm perfectly serious and clear headed." He stated. "I can't believe I didn't see this until now. Merlin Lily, your so young, and you know what I am, it's not right." It was suddenly like it clicked in him, it seemed so clear, it really really wasn't right. "Nothing about this is right.." he realized. "It's all wrong."

Confused she tried to smile at him. "Your joking." She stated. "You almost got me there, you know."

Sadly Severus shook his head, he looked at her face and reached out a hand to brush her wet cheek one last time. "Stay away from me." He said seriously looking straight into her emerald green eyes.

And then he turned around closing his eyes, he couldn't look back or he would be begging her for forgiveness, knowing that she would hate him in the morning. He stood up and walked slowly towards the exit to the common room, his shoulders sagging, barely able to contain his tears.

"She's right you know." James spoke softly as he stood right beside the exit, when Severus tried to leave. "You're such a dumb ass, she really loves you and well, I think you care a lot about her."

Severus looked at Potter with a blank expression on his face.

"Look, all I want is to see her happy." James told Severus. "If that means being with you, then I'll accept it and move on." He shrugged. "Hell, I admit it, I probably misjudged you, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Severus looked back at the hazel eyed boy with empty eyes. "She'll come around to you eventually." He muttered. "Just treat her nice and with respect, love her. That's all she really wants, and when she comes around, protect her with all of your might, because I will never forgive you if you let her get hurt." He said, his face still an emotionless wall as he turned to the portrait hole and exited the common room not daring to look back. Once in the corridor he then started to run, only to have barely gotten to the end of the hallway before the familiar female voice of a certain redhead could be heard yelling.

"SEV! SEV COME BACK!" she called as he stumbled around the corner. He couldn't help but catch sight of Lily standing at the portrait with her hand outstretched while Remus held her back.

Severus ran, though mostly stumbled, towards the Slytherin common room, biting back his own emotions. How could he be so blind?

"Severus!" A shocked Penelope exclaimed as she approached him when he barged into the common room. "Are you all right, what happened?"

Slowly Severus looked up at Penelope, she looked tired, worried and a little bit scared. For once her hair, that she normally wore in two pig tales, fell free though a little unruly down her shoulders as she looked at him pleadingly.

A vague memory flashed in Severus' mind.

_Kill the mudblood._

His nightmare, the girl he had killed without knowing her name, shocked beyond belief Severus looked at Penelope. "Your.. your.." He stammered. "Your muggleborn."

Penelope gaped in shock. "How did you!" she gasped at him before bowing over whispering in a hissed voice. "Shhh, don't tell anyone." She hissed. "They'll tear me apart."

Staring wide eyed at Penelope as if he hadn't seen her before. Severus pressed a hand against his mouth as he stumbled backwards.

"Severus what's wrong?" Penelope asked concerned.

Severus felt ill, he felt sick to his stomach, like he was going to throw up. He had indirectly killed Lily, though tried to save her. He had brutally and cold heartedly murdered Penelope, with his own wand. Severus reached out an arm to find some support, but it failed him and so he stumbled across the room. How could this have happened? How could he ever have deemed himself worthy of anyone! He shook his head as he stumbled around, before turning and making an escape to his dormitory. Yet he came to realize that he wasn't even safe there when he felt the spot under his bed pulsing with rage. Voldemorts rage turned solely towards Severus because of the humiliation he brought upon the Dark Lord by tricking him. Severus could feel the energy from the objects hammering into his head.

"SHUT UP!" he roared at the objects, under his bed, but it was to no avail. They just kept hammering with their rage at him. It was becoming too much for him to handle and he couldn't put up a proper occlumency wall to block out the unwanted energy and rage that was coming from the two Horcruxes. At last he thrust himself down under the bed, and took the objects into his hands, making them invade his mind even more.

Pictures kept playing in his mind.

_Voldemort was a volcano of furry, he was way beyond angry. "CRUCIO!" he roared at an unfortunate Death Eater who happened to be in the room. "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" The Dark Lord seethed._

_The snake hissed as well, biting into an unfortunate Death Eater. _

"_NO ONE MAKES A FOOL OF ME! NO ONE!" _

"AAAARGH!" Severus yelled out, casting the objects away from him. He forced his occlumency shields up, and pushed all emotion from his mind. He was cold to the world as his black hair fell down his face and over his eyes. Then he slowly stood up, peering through the black curtains of hair as he slowly walked forward and picked up the book and diadem.

'Go ahead' Severus thought, 'rage all you want, but I will find you, and I will destroy you!'

Slowly he walked down into the common room again, not seeing a single student looking his way, as he walked through the room. Once out he walked through the near empty corridors until he reached the stone gargoyle.

"Albus let me in!" he yelled at the motionless piece of stone. A few moments passed before the gargoyle finally sprung aside allowing Severus to walk up the stairs and into Dumbledore's office.

Entering the office Severus found the Headmaster sitting at his desk staring curiously at him. "Here!" Severus threw the two Horcruxes at Dumbledore's desk. "Two of the Horcruxes, I can't have them tempting me anymore!" He exclaimed his face erecting its typical emotionless wall." There are four more, three Horcruxes and Voldemort himself. Knock yourself out."

And then he turned and left. Feeling even more empty than he had in a long time. Yet inside he could feel the dark shadow of fury grow, a hatred and determination filling his entire being. As he walked away with quick strides, a dark look crossing his face. He knew without a doubt that he now looked more like his old self than ever.


	26. broken

Severus stood at he shore of the lake, mindlessly throwing stones into the water. It was a cold, wet, snow-less January. The sky was grey and depressing and the water, not having been frozen solid yet, was slushy with small chunks of broken ice floating in it. He threw the stones with great force into the thick ice mixed water so that they plunked dully while splashing water several feet out from the center. He threw one stone after the other, and gave a roar of annoyed rage afterwards. He had, had to face Lily that morning and what an encounter that had been.

"Sev!" Lily called as she ran up to him when she had spotted him in the great hall.

Severus straightened up as he sent her a sullen glare. "Miss Evans." He hissed.

She stopped up. "Sev?" She asked while looking bewilderedly at him. "Still on about this, I see? Sev, honestly I don't know what you think will come out of behaving this way."

"I couldn't care less what you think Miss Evans." He hissed, making her take a step back. "However, I do feel inclined to inform you that Augustus Prince has been kind enough to escort your family out of the country." He gritted his teeth. "Under the assumption that they are his future family."

At first Lily looked shocked, her face turning pale, then she seemed to think it over and looked relieved even thankful, before she smiled a vague smile. "So you're getting over yourself."

"I don't know what your talking about Miss Evans." He said as he crossed his arms. "However, if you value your families safety I suggest you continue to let him believe that." He reached out an arm so the crow sized owl could land on it. "This is Mona, she will be the only viable way of contacting Prince and the Evans', you may use her as you wish."

"Urh.. thanks." And she stepped forward, coming to close. "Sev.." she reached for him.

Only to have Severus push her hand away before it came to close, causing Mona fly off him in shock. "Miss Evans restrain yourself!" he growled towering over her. "And kindly, leave me _alone!_" he roared, making her stumble back in shock. He took this opportunity to walk away to the Slytherin table. Although, he really did not have any appetite left at all now.

He had not missed the hurt look on her face or Potter's annoyance with him whenever their paths would cross. Forcing him to yell and sneer at her if she tried to come any closer than was necessary. He cried out again realizing he no longer had any stones left in his hand. Yet he raised his arm and flung his empty hand, at the lake, in frustration, anyway. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! He was quite possibly the stupidest man on earth. He had been blind, stupid and very selfish. There was every reason on earth why he and Lily were wrong for each other, that she should not be tainted by his darkness. She knew he was, really, almost forty and yet she had willingly played around with him. Then to top it off he had so easily forgotten himself and fallen into the trap that were his feelings, making him a dirty old man. He could not believe they had kissed so easily, it was just wrong. He was a murderer, which was even worse, a dark shadow that shouldn't sully her with his presence.

"If you want them to skip over the water, you need to flick your hand." a voice commented beside him.

Severus groaned as he turned to face Remus Lupin. However it was hard to send his anger in that direction since Remus looked about as sour, grumpy and miserable as he himself did. He also picked up some stones, and threw one with a great force, and sure enough the stone skipped across the water four times.

"You're not going to tell me that I'm an idiot for breaking up with her, are you?" Severus asked sarcastically, a frown on his lips.

"Nope." Remus answered shortly and sternly as he threw another stone, that only made three skips on the water, this time. "I totally see where you're coming from." He threw another stone. "It's James and Sirius who are idiots and don't know how lucky they are." And he threw yet another stone that helplessly plopped into the water with a big splash. He frowned annoyed at the stone.

Severus just looked, emotionlessly, at the young werewolf.

Remus picked up another handful of stones and started turning them in his hand. "I'm an idiot too, it turns out Lieve have a crush on me." he said and then threw another stone into the water. "I really should have put two and two together." Remus finished, throwing the whole handful out into the water.

"What?" Severus asked sourly. "You don't fancy her?" he mocked as he himself threw a stone.

"I don't know." Remus confessed as he threw his stone. "When she's in the room I want to run away." swing splash. "Some times I can't even breath." swing, swing, splash. "One minute I laugh and everything is fine." Swing splash. "The next it all fells like I will never be happy again." splash. "And when she's not in the room." splash, splash "It's like pins and needles in my chest, I want it to stop, but all I can think about… is her." Splash, splash, splash. He turned to Severus. "I honestly don't know what it is I am feeling, but I know it's no good." he said sourly.

Severus looked sympathetically at Remus. "She doesn't fancy werewolves, I gather."

"I have no idea, but chances are, she doesn't." he groaned. "And in any case, she seems to be head over heels into me, I can't stand that. If we started a relationship I would have to tell her sooner or later. Then if by some random stroke of luck she isn't afraid of me and I don't make her nervous or run screaming for help at the truth of my furry little problem, then maybe something could be started. But I really don't see it happening. Do you know what kind of anguish this brings to people? To care for me despite the montlhy problem?" he sighed defeatedly as he slumped down to the grass, his long legs stretched out before him as he sat back on his arms sulkily. "What do you think possessed my friends to do such a stupid dangerous thing as becoming an animagi in the first place! Then to top it off '_I_' helped them!" he ranted with a frown, burying his face in his hands while groaning with a mixture of anguish and exhaustion. "Each and every bloody full moon is just as much of a nightmare for them as it is for me. They toss and turn in their beds praying that I will still be alive the next morning. The first days leading up to the full moon I can only try and reassure them that I'll be fine, but they're not stupid. They can see how scared I am, my mother cried herself to sleep the nights before full-moon, because truthfully, I really am terrified of killing someone, every month." he moaned as he threw his arms up in the air. "And it doesn't end there! People close to me, they have to worry about how the ministry treats the friends and families of werewolves. Both my father and mother are perfectly capable people and even they are shunned and have difficulty finding jobs. And still, with all that going on, they all fail to notice the most important thing, that I am dangerous!" he cried out looking at Severus. "They keep on insisting to ignore and deny, I wish they would just come out with it! You said you were terrified of the wolf, it may shock you but you're the only one admitting it who still talks to me as a person. It makes you the smartest person I know, because it is dangerous. Every full moon, I could kill someone and no one seems to understand that!" he sighed. "How can I drag another person into all of that?" he asked of Severus. "It's to complicated for my liking, to be honest."

"What a pair we are." Severus muttered sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Hah." Remus laughed a dry sarcastic laugh. "Two dangerous men bemoaning their heartaches over two girls who would be much better off staying away from them. As they are simply too dangerous." he snorted as he rested his chin on he knees. "To top it off they are both redheads. Now that is just cruel irony."

"If that's your only problem I say you have the better deal." Severus snorted.

"Ha, ha." Remus mocked sarcastically. "You know my problems. Hell, when you called me beastie you weren't that far off from the truth."

"Indeed, but you are talking to a dead person." Severus responded sourly as he picked up more stones.

"Oh really." Remus lifted an eyebrow at him.

"You wanted to know why I had a sudden change of heart last summer." Severus said sourly. "Here's my honest answer, I'm dead!" he spit out as he threw a big stone into the water. "I shouldn't even be here. I had my chance and I screwed it up. Then for some unknown reason I'm thrust back and get a second chance and guess what, I am doing really good job of screwing that up too." He raved and threw another stone. "If I could switch places with you I would, that blasted werewolf problem of yours is nothing." he threw a stone out. "I don't even deserve Lily, how could I have been so stupid to think that?" he threw his stones. "It was stupid and very selfish." he said as he too slunk down into a sitting position, covering his face with his hands.

Remus blinked. "I am not even going to pretend I understood what you just told me." Lupin stated.

Severus shrugged without saying a word.

Remus then sighed. "If we were able, we could go and drink our sorrows away, with firewhiskey." He muttered. "A werewolf and a dead person walk into a bar, drowning in their sorrows over a couple of redheads… Sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke."

Severus snorted. "You can turn that into a werewolf and a dead person who is a blooming murderer."

"Severus." Remus starred wide eyed at him. "You killed someone?"

"Yes and no." Severus shrugged.

Remus just looked at him in a way that clearly waited for Severus to explain.

"As far as this reality is concerned I didn't kill anyone. In the reality I came from, though, I am a cold blooded murderer." he grew silent. He didn't know why he told all of this to Lupin, but he couldn't go to Lily any more and he didn't want to go to Dumbledore like in his previous life. But if he didn't go to someone he would break, past experience had shown him that. "And I don't think Lily ever really got that about me, though I tried to tell her. I don't think she ever really got what I am. I killed Penelope, pointed my wand at her and threw the Avada Kedavra curse. Without even knowing her name."

Remus looked beyond puzzled, but kept silent, simply nodding.

"You still have no idea what I am talking about do you?" Severus asked.

"Nope."

"And I sound like I'm insane don't I."

"Yes."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I wonder what keeps you so persistent and why you even bother."

Remus shrugged. "I don't know." he said as he scratched his chin. "Probably because I don't make a whole lot of sense to people either."

"Hmpf." Severus smirked grimly. "Here's what I think makes the least sense." Severus looked out in the water. "I was happy, ever since that day when Potter and Black tried to humiliate me and I cried out to Lily, I was happy. I really, really was and I have never tried that before, it blinded me, it made me selfish, and it made me stupid. I was so desperate to have Lily trust me that I didn't realize the burdens and danger I had placed on her. It never hit me that I didn't deserve the happiness I felt when she finally did trust me. I forgot that I didn't even deserve her trust." he wrapped his arms around his knees. "I thought love and happiness were supposed to make you a better person."

Remus silently stared out at the lake. "All I know is that it does really strange things to people, bringing out both the best and the worst, I suppose."

The changes were palpable Thursday evening as they resumed their session with the Phoenix Fighters. The first, and frankly most obvious, was the presence of the Marauders, all four of them. They were keeping quiet and participating with the others like mature adults, patiently taking and giving instruction when needed. The next thing noticed was that Lieve was not nearly as visible as she used to be. In fact, she was almost totally invisible. You would have to look for her orange hair to find her as she very silently and determinedly practiced her defense spells, not talking or shooting off random jokes and sentences.

Then there were Severus and Lily, who were both present. He treated her as badly in the group as he did in class. If Lily so much as dared making an attempt at getting anywhere near him he would sneer and spit insults at her. If he had to address her he would menacingly call her 'Miss Evans'. This pattern started becoming a bit too similar to what occurred between him and a certain messy-haired green-eyed boy with glasses, in his previous lifetime. Many times Lily reacted similarly to the messy-haired boy, as she too would spit back, sneering angrily. She clearly restrained herself and repeatedly bit back her anger. Much like her son who had shared her temper. Other times she would silently turn away, with a sad look on her face.

Severus was still sure, however, that it was for the best. He could not have her chasing after him. He should have known how she would react in that type of situation, from his experience with her son. They were the same and now it was only to obvious. If there was something endangering her fellow humans, Lily would rush in without a second thought. There was just no way in hell he would willingly endanger or encourage her like that.

And then there were the whispers, most of the phoenix fighters had seen Severus being taken by the Death Eaters and all had been equally surprised and shocked as he had turned up in the Great Hall a day after, looking surprisingly well. The rumors had started spreading and quite frankly most of them was pretty ludicrous. Like the one about how he had supposedly single handedly fought off fifteen Death Eaters, a dragon, a hundred Dementors and won.

Penelope was also very confused, she was a lot more nervous around him than she used to be, constantly fiddling with her glasses and not asking too many questions. Which was probably why she was so surprised when Severus asked her to also spend Wednesdays with him so they could practice more. He didn't care, he just wanted her to be able to defend herself when he couldn't be there and he was absolutely not going to let her die all over again.

In the second half of their Phoenix Fighter session every second Thursday they had always tried to maintain the original purpose of the club, which Penelope was always behind. Those were times to socialize and play so everyone could bond and laugh for a change. Severus had actually enjoyed these sessions, so far, but now he found himself unable to even try and participate. So he sat in a corner observing them, darkly. Eventually, though, he would leave, feeling as if his mere presence was stealing away the other students joy.

From an outside perspective it was probably a reminder of his attitude from his other life. He now constantly sneered and scowled as he stormed down corridors and loudly barged into classrooms. He distanced himself from others and spent his evenings experimenting with his potions or brewing anything that would be the least bit challenging. Anything from Polyjuice to Veritaserum and The Draught of Living Death. There was no reason for him to brew any of them, he just did. And because of that his hair, which had been nice and clean, returned to it's greasy tangled state. At last he could actually recognize himself when looking in the mirror, as what appeared was merely a younger version of his more sullen and unattractive face. He didn't know if he should be relieved by this or not. Yet despite trying to isolate himself, he could not escape the prying eyes. They were everywhere and were constantly bothering him. So he sneered at all of the students, doling out some of his best glares.

As time passed, other people seemed to ease into a new routine. The Marauders had definitely grown, every week they faithfully met up and helped the Phoenix Fighters never once picking on Severus. Even though he treated them more snidely then ever, he did nothing to hurt or ridicule anyone. Lieve started talking again after only one week, she started smiling and spread her joy and energi, as if nothing had happened at all, she just continued on being her own awkward clumsy peasent self. Sirius had seemed to have taken her under his wing. Their common nonsense behavior and James' sudden burst of maturity, most likely, had something to do with that.

Lupin managed to seem relaxed again and though people occasionally tried to get close to Severus, most of them left him alone. Only Remus had any success in spending a little time with him, and that was just occasionally. It was however very admirable that many of the Phoenix Fighters would still try now and then, and it annoyed him.

Every fourth day he would have the difficult task of writing a letter to Augustus. He would pretend that he was still with Lily in the letters and would at least try to mention her once or twice. Yet it seemed like almost every letter turned out to mainly be about what she was doing, even though he made sure they spent no time together, at all.

Penelope seemed unsure, though she faithfully met up for training sessions with Severus. Yet as her improvements were slow and few, Severus more often than not lost his patients with her and harshly demanded she do better than she was. This was the routine and it went on for quite a while. That was until one cold Wednesday in the middle of March when Penelope finally broke as she once again failed to cast a simple deflecting charm. This wouldn't have been a big deal for her if she hadn't already perfected the charm months ago with the Phoenix Fighters. Now she seemed to lack the strength to even do so. She was sent right into the floor, and tried to get up again only to be met by Severus' scolding's.

"Come on Penelope!" he had huffed. "You can do this, now get up and show it to me!"

Her reaction surprised him as she suddenly broke into a sob, and suddenly her dark brown eyes stared at him, wide with accusation and hurt, from behind her oval glasses. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!" she cried in big huge sobs, her tears coursing down her face. "WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING ME!"

Severus looked at her in surprise, his eyes wide and mouth quickly drying, as he had no idea what to say.

"It's because I am a Muggleborn isn't it!" Penelope sobbed. "All your talk about family not mattering it's a lie! Your just like them and you tricked me!" She cried out, her fists clenching together.

Confused and hurt Severus shook his head, opening and closing his mouth as he hopelessly looked into the corners of the room. "No.. no.." he said in a weird dry voice.

"And that's why you're punishing Lily too." She pointed an accusing finger at him. "Because she's Muggleborn." The angry tears coursed down Penelope's cheeks. "Well, I'll have you know it's not our fault." Her voice sounded like it was breaking with all the tears. "It's not even a fault, it's just who we are. I… I.. I can't take it anymore." She threw her wand so that it hit the wall with a loud clink and fell to the floor. "I knew you were one of the dangerous ones, but you made me believe in you! I knew it was to good to be true that people can change!"

"Penelope..." Severus looked helplessly at the crying bespeckled girl. "It's not… It's really not like that."

"_Then what is it like?_" Penelope demanded, looking up at him. "_Tell me!_ Tell me that it's not just because we're Muggleborns! Give me a better reason!"

Exhausted Severus found himself sinking as he groaned and fell into a chair. The last two months of stress were finally getting to him. "It's because," his throat felt dry and he had difficulty getting the right words to come out, he just didn't know what to say. "What happened between me and Lily has nothing to do with you." He finally stated. "It's unrelated."

"Fine." Penelope still starred angrily at him. "Then why are you punishing me?"

"I'm not." Severus took a deep sigh as he closed his eyes, he didn't open them again as he answered. "I'm not trying to punish you." he finally said in a whisper. "That was not my intention."

There was so much he wanted to say to this girl. That she was the most brilliant genius he had ever met, even compared to Albus Dumbledore. He wanted to tell her that he admired her and how much she constantly inspired him. He had never had a role model when it came to being social. She was the first person he wanted to socially be like, even if he was mentally older than her. He wanted to tell her that she had done something so many others had failed at and that it made her a better teacher than he himself could ever hope to be . . . that she had so much to give the world that he never could. She was the creator and leader, he was just there to ramble off stupid spells and move along. He was never meant to lead anyone, but she was. He had enjoyed their evenings and was happy to know that she had looked up to him, in their short time together. In a way he had come to think of her as a younger sister. Yet, he was unable to put any of this into words, not even now.

It was strange irony, he was supposed to be a master with words, and indeed he was. He could tell people what they wanted to hear and make them believe what he wanted them to believe. Yet he could not put his true thoughts and emotions into words. He didn't even understand them himself, that was a feat he had never mastered.

"Then what was your intent?" Penelope asked seeming to calm down as she slowly moved closer, sitting in a chair right in front of him. obviously relieved that he didn't scowl at her but instead he looked hopelessly at her, as if begging for advice. He was so useless when it came down to it.

"I didn't want to see you hurt." he said feeling the guilt well up inside of him. "I can't hang around forever and they will sooner or later come after you." he swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry." he uttered.

Penelope seemed relieved. "God and I thought you were really mad at me." she put a hand on her chest as she smiled appreciatively. "I'm sorry too, you just seem so strong and powerful, that it didn't occur to me that you could be afraid too." she shook her head. "I should have known."

Severus looked at her blankly, he was having difficulty grasping her words and didn't really understand how she could forgive him so easily. What had he done to even come close to deserving such kindness? He wanted to thank her, to tell her how much he appreciated it, yet he found he couldn't. "I'm so sorry." Was the only thing he managed to say.

Penelope shook her head. "You really need to put yourself together." she commented dryly.

"I know." Severus tiredly acknowledged. "Please, tell me, what am I supposed to do?"

Penelope blinked in surprise, looking a little wide eyed at him. "Well if you ask me." she looked a little hesitant. "It's obvious isn't it? Just…"

She didn't get any further before she was interrupted by a large silver winged bird flowing into the room, she gaped at the magnificent creature in awe. "What is that?" she asked in a mystified whisper.

"A Patronus." Severus answered shortly, quickly finding himself back in a mood he could rely on, his no nonsense mood. "And a Phoenix Patronus at that. I only know one person who has that form."

And true enough as the silver phoenix opened it's mouth an old tired voice was heard. "Severus." said the Phoenix in a weak, ragged version of Dumbledore's voice. "Come quickly, I need…assistance."

Severus shot a short, sharp glance at Penelope, then turned to run. Surprisingly, as he ran through the corridors, he discovered she was with him.

"Don't follow me!" he hissed.

"What. you think you can just do everything alone!" Penelope asked right back. "Your only going to Headmasters office aren't you? I'm just coming with you."

"No your not. He requested me, not you!" Severus told her flatly.

"Then I'll wait outside until you come out, even if it's till five in the morning. In which case it's your fault I slept out there!" Penelope stated.

Severus rolled his eyes, 'See, this was the problem when dealing with a Slytherin instead of a Gryffindor.' Lily would have kept insisting that she go with him until he had the opportunity to smack the gargoyle in her face, leaving her muttering in his wake, until she would finally give up and turn around. Penelope had made her threat and he was sure she would go through with it. "Fine." he growled in defeat. "But if I get as much as one word from you.." he had run out ideas and had nothing to threaten her with that would make any sense, given the current situation.

She just smiled innocently at him, in a way that would make Remus Lupin proud. Severus sneered at her in return and pushed her in front of him as they reached the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to Headmaster office. As they ran up the stairs however, Severus wished he had left Penelope down in front of the gargoyle as the sight before him and the scream ringing in his ears began to register. Severus suddenly felt his heart sink in horror and anger. He had done it again…..


	27. asking for help

The first thing Severus did was shoving Penelope behind him so she didn't have to watch, ignoring the utter futility of his actions, before demanding she stay back with a scoff and sprinting towards the foolish old man struggling on the floor gasping in pain. In horror which was persistently breaking through his mask of derision Severus could recognise this situation only too well.

It all came down to the ring on Dumbledore's finger which was pulsing, hissing and screaming in a high ringing noise that for some odd reason came off as laughter.

You could literately see the dark magic escaping and slithering up Dumbledore's forearm trying to get a grip on his throat, a sickening smell of burned meat and rotten corpses hanging in the air. Worst of all though was the old man gasping in pain between horrible unnatural screams.

Severus swooped in without hesitance and did the first thing he knew he had to do, get the ring off Dumbledore's finger, which was not an easy task considering the rings determination to stay on the victim, tightening the grip of it's tendrils, one of them imbedding itself into Dumbledore's skin making him moan in pain.

"YOU FOOLISH OLD MAN!" Severus could not help but yell as he lowered his occlumency shields offering himself as bait to make the tendrils of dark magic let go of Dumbledore.

"HOW STUPID ARE YOU! TO DO THIS TWICE!"

Even in his weakened painful state Dumbledore managed to force a small smirk. "I was not aware I did it the first time," he gasped hoarsely fighting for breath.

"Well, you should be smart enough not to do it once!" Severus hissed as he battled with the tendrils on Dumbledore's arm, the only way to fight them was with his mind and he was failing horribly, which he managed to note, was odd as it had gone better the first time around.

"Dammit in hell, I thought you are supposed to be the most powerful wizard of all times, you're supposed to be smart!"

Severus thrust his mind repeatedly at the writhing mass fighting a hopeless battle as his affords didn't seem to make any difference in preventing the tangling arms from merging themselves with Dumbledore. The ring itself of cause was relentlessly stuck and it would be useless to even try and get it off.

Eventually one of the tendrils lashed out at Severus, as if he were an annoying bug it wanted to get rid of, and hit his most vulnerable place, his face, leaving no trace though it sounded awfully like burned meat.

A scream sounded across the room, a girl's scream.

Out of the corner of his eye Severus just managed to see Penelope standing pressed to the opposite wall and starring wide eyed at them, her hands in front of her open mouth as if trying to stifle further screams from escaping.

With renewed determination Severus thrust himself at the ring surprisingly getting the upper hand and forcing the tendrils away from Dumbledore towards their new target.

Hissing in rage the bit of soul reached out to Severus' mind determined to bend him to its will.

_"Finally!" Severus grinned in delight as he looked at his Death Eaters. "You shall be rewarded Travers." _

_"Thank you my lord." Travers bowed to his master._

_"No one escapes Lord Voldemort for long." He growled in ill concealed satisfaction. "He thinks he is oh so safe in his castle, but he can't stay there forever, bring them in!"_

_Six robbed Death Eaters brought four people, three of them shaking, looking beyond scared and the white haired gentleman Prince, walking with his usual customary dignity._

_"Augustus Prince." He smiled in travesty of pleasure. "So we meet at last, I am afraid I didn't quite caught you the last time."_

_Prince just starred back at him with dispassionate black eyes, as though imagining he were any kind of threat to Severus, who was the one with real power._

_"And the Evans family." Severus simpered before scowling darkly. "Filthy muggles the lot."_

_"Why even bothering to bring them here!" Augustus asked. "Let them go, they have no value to you other than being in the way!"_

_"You dare speaking up before me." Severus hissed. "You need some manners Prince!" He raised his wand. "Crucio!"_

"ARRRGGHH!" Severus forced himself out, physically tossing himself to the side and threw the ring burning his hand in a random direction. He didn't have time to see where it went before he returned to Dumbledore.

It had already started, Dumbledore's ring finger where he had originally placed the ring was all gray and withered, quite dead, and the gray was spreading fast. One good thing was that Severus didn't have to guess what to do this time around, he could mumble the right formulas to counter the dark magic right away, coldly and emotionless stopping the withering halfway through Dumbledore's hand.

Last time he had been hysterical, running around trying all sorts of tactics by random and when he had finally found out what to do it was too late.

Exhausted he sank down on the floor right next to Dumbledore.

"He's going to be fine." Severus said calmly to assure Penelope, but was met only with silence.

With an icy feeling in his stomach he slowly turned around to face Penelope, who was standing stone still staring at him with unseeing eyes, her arm stretched out and her hand closed around a small object she apparently has caught in mid air.

Quickly Severus scrambled to his feet and forced her hand open to snatch the ring back.

Penelope fell backwards shaking her head gasping in undiluted horror.

"What did you see?" Severus demanded in concern shaking her gently by the shoulders then she didn't answer.

Penelope was trembling uncontrollably. "I was... I was... inside someone's head... I… I tortured those people... the Evans'... and... and..." the words were failing her.

"Penelope listen to me and just do as I say." Severus gripped her shoulders tighter. "Forget what you saw, all of it, don't think about it and don't speak about it, go back to your dorm and don't speak to any one of this, don't think about me, don't wait for me and don't you dare doing something stupid again!"

"What do you mean 'don't think about you'?" Penelope asked in a trembling voice.

"Just what it says," Severus told her seriously. "Forget all about me!" and he let her go. "Accio bag," he muttered.

Penelope stared at him. "Forget about you? What do you mean! What was that? Was it a soul piece? It felt like a soul piece, it was talking to me like that book! Was the vision real? Was I in You-Know-Who's head!"

Severus grabbed the bag which floated through the window. "I said forget all about it!" he demanded. "JUST DO AS I SAY!" he roared at her.

"Forget about Horcruxes, forget about being foolish and forget about me!" he yelled straight into her face only to turn around to walk swiftly to the phoenix in the corner of the office.

"Wait!" Penelope yelled. "It sounds like you're not planning to come back! You can't do that!"

Severus closed her off as he grabbed Fawkes tail whispering his request.

"SEVERUS WAIT! THAT WAS NOT ALL I SAW!" but it was too late, Severus was gone in a fiery flash. Penelope was left standing with an outstretched arm and Dumbledore groaning on the office floor. For a moment she stood frozen, horror overwhelming her, an icy feeling blossoming in her chest and slowly spreading to the rest of her body.

Slowly Dumbledore opened his eyes and turned to her, she felt like being pierced by the startling blue eyes, staring into them, enthralled almost hypnotised, then Dumbledore blinked breaking the spell she came to herself turned around and ran down the stairs as fast as she could.

"HELP! HELP!" she yelled running, the dark empty hallways ringing with the echo of her voice, but there were no students about as it was after curfew. "SOMEBODY HELP! PLEASE!"

"Pen there you are!" Regulus came running towards her. "I've been looking everywhere for you!" he stopped taking notice of her tearstained desperate face. "Pen, what's wrong?" he asked concerned.

"Reg!" she cried as she grabbed the front of his school robes in panic. "You know where the Gryffindor common room is right! RIGHT!"

"Yes." Regulus answered hesitating.

"Show me! Please, dear god, just show me!" Penelope begged. "Help me!"

For a moment Regulus stared at her in wide eyed shock while she looked pleadingly back, at last he sighed.

"All right come on." Regulus took her hand and started running. Hand in hand they ran through the corridors, despite the tears tinkling down Penelopes cheeks her face and actions were full of sheer determination.

They reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, "password."

"I... I don't have it." Penelope uttered looking beyond despair at the lady in the pink dress.

"Weaver?" Regulus asked tryingly.

The Fat Lady snorted. "That was changed a long time ago."

"Please let me in." Penelope begged. "I need to get in! It's a matter of life and death!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that." The Fat Lady lifted an eyebrow. "I'm afraid two Slytherins asking to get in to my students seems a little suspect."

"Let me in!" Penelope started brutally hammering the portrait with her small fists. "LET ME IN! LET ME IN! LET ME IN!" she yelled in pure hysterics.

Inside of the Gryffindor common room everyone was blissfully unaware of what was going on.

Lieve seemed to have become a somewhat "honorary" Marauder, she even got to borrow the cloak to the purpose of spending her evenings in the Gryffindor tower, getting some help on her homework from Sirius, under watchful eyes of a floored James Potter… which was indeed a surprise as no one had ever foreseen Sirius Black taking it upon himself to act as tutor of all things! But apparently he genuinely meant it when he said, she was another adopted sibling to him.

"I'll never get this, es' hard." She groaned annoyed throwing down her quill.

"Now, now," Sirius laughed. "No honorary little sister of mine is going to fail her O.W.L.s."

"Easy for ye to say, ye already blooming done with it, and Remus saith you dinna make ye homework either!" She complained.

"Well, I'm a genius!" Sirius loudly proclaimed while laughing, he raised an eyebrow, "why are you even in Rawenclaw?"

"I don't know!" Lieve exclaimed in a frustrated tone. "Really! I have no idea! Me grades are low, me spells blast back in me face, half the time I try and read the school-books I just don't understand." she fell back on her back on the floor with spread out arms. "It dinna make any sense at all." she muttered annoyed.

Intrigued Sirius looked at her, up and down. "But the hat never sorts without reason." he grinned. "I wonder."

From that comment Peter sighed deeply making James lift an eye-brow.

"Anyway!" Lieve exclaimed without warning as she looked down at the essay with a new found determination. "This will be done I tell ye! Right now! and done right, it has to be possible!"

Sirius fell back in a fit of laughter, James was laughing as well, Peter send her an appreciating smile, probably happy that he wasn't the only source of laughter anymore, though Lieve didn't seemed to mind just looking sheepish at them chuckling.

"first you gave up and then you continue?" Sirius asked in amused laugh.

"I never gave up in the first place." Lieve pointed out as she looked at the essay with extremely furrowed brows indicating her deep concentration. "I just let out me frustrations so me head is clear to continue, That's what ye do, let it out and then continue. What did ye think pillows vas invented for in the first place?"

Even Remus who was hiding firmly behind his book, keeping his distance was biting his lip not to laugh, and had to hold himself back with sheer determination not to have mercy on the orange haired menace and help her with the essay.

She actually knew an awful lot, an awful awfult lot to be exact, and was good at making her own conclusions and she loved to share the knowledge, though it never seemed to be about what it was supposed to be, she was quite bright when she didn't get sidetracked, which was exactly what was happening, she was distracted incarnated when it came to these stuff, and when it came to other stuff bit over far to much. It was so obvious to Remus, but he refused, he had to refuse!

"What's that noise?" a fifth year Gryffindor suddenly asked looking around. Sharpening his ears Remus could hear it too, it sounded like hammering and muffled yelling.

"I think it's coming from the portrait hole." Another Gryffindor commented. Some Gryffindors looked bewildered at each other, before somebody at last went to check.

"Well, about time!" Penelope hissed as the portrait hole swung open and she stood face to face with a young Gryffindor she didn't know. "Move!" she pushed the said student aside to crawl in Regulus closely following.

Before she knew it she was standing in a circular common room filled with nice looking chairs and several Gryffindors starring wide eyed at her, Penelope swirled around looking in all directions to try and capture a glimpse of red hair.

"Lily!" she yelled. "LILY WHERE ARE YOU!" then she got a glimpse of reddish hair, but immediately discovered it was to bright a colour, she was searching for dark red.

"Penelope." Lieve was staring at her. The faces of the boys beside her mirroring the expression, the very handsome (though not quite as handsome as Regulus if you asked Penelope) Sirius Black, the messy haired James Potter and the silent Pettigrew who Penelope hadn't succeeded to well in getting to know, he was usually almost hiding behind his friends, even the shabby looking Remus, whom she liked a lot, had lowered his book regarding her with wide eyes.

Not knowing what else to do she ran towards them. "Help me please!" she sunk down on her knees in front of James Potter. "I need help!"

"Wow, wow Penelope!" James tried to calm her down. "Take a breath and tell us what's wrong."

"It's... it's... It's..."

"I said take a breath!" James Potter demanded. "Follow me, close your eyes, calm down, and take a deep breath."

Struggling Penelope closed her eyes and did as she was told to do.

"Now then." James said. "Tell us what's wrong."

"It's Severus." She finally said. "He's in danger."

"What do you mean?" James furrowed his brows.

"He's walking right into a trap!" Penelope tried to explain. "I can't tell you all that I know, he made me promise! But I know he's walking into a trap, You-Know-Who is going to kill him! You got to help me!"

"Where is he now?" James potter asked.

"He's gone!" Penelope explained. "He left the castle, he went to some sort of mansion it's..." she twisted her face trying to remember. "It has a big room where the floor looks like a chess board in jade green and black, there's a banner on the wall with three snakes on it, and there's this huge window with a view of a forest and a statue of a proud looking wizard with a snake around his neck."

"I know that place!" The sentence was exclaimed simultaneously by Regulus and Sirius who looked surprised at each other. Despite having been to Phoenix Fighters sessions together for two months they still didn`t talk to each other at all, just keeping their distance, occasionally gracing each other with hateful looks. Penelope wondered if anyone in the room even knew both sides of the story, she had to admit she only knew the one.

"Regulus please!" She begged as she took his hand. He looked away from Sirius to clutch her hand tighter.

"Why did Snape go there?" James then asked coming back to business.

Penelope swallowed. "You-Know-Who, he has someone Severus cares for, an older man called Prince and three muggles, I think the muggles are Lily's family, they are called the Evans's."

At once James jumped up, and so did Remus, Lieve and Sirius. "Lieve, go get Lily she's in her dorm, that way!" he pointed at a staircase. "We need to know if it's her family. Remus, go get the cloak, the map and the mirrors, Sirius tell me where that place is."

"It's the Lestrange manor." Sirius said, it's at the south coast on the Walsh boarder."

"No you idiot," Regulus hissed. "It's the Malfoy manor that's there, the Lestrange manor is just outside of London."

"Oh, really?" Sirius lifted an eyebrow as he snorted.

"Yes really, I was there last summer while you!" he pointed an accusing finger at Sirius. "Were busy playing the rebel running away from home! I can't believe you did something so childish!"

"Don't you dare to try and tell me what to do!" Sirius hissed.

"Sirius stop!" James demanded. "Sit down, we don't have time for this."

"What's happening!" Lily came running down the stairs, her eyes sharp and alert and her body tense. "Is something wrong!"

"Penelope describe the muggles." James asked.

"Well." Penelope hesitated. "There was this young woman, I think in her early twenties, she was very tall and thin and had long brown hair, the man had the same colour of hair and a moustache, and then there was this nice looking woman with dark red hair."

"That's my family!" Lily exclaimed. "Are they okay?"

"You-Know-Who has them!" Penelope said before James had a chance to stop her.

Lily gasped horrified.

"Severus has gone after them, to save them, but it's a trap!" Penelope exclaimed. "You-Know-Who wants to kill him! And Severus is ready to let him if it means he can save the others, we must stop him!"

"I have it!" Remus gasped as he came running down the stairs a packed bag over his shoulder.

"Good." James Potter nodded. "No time to waste. Sirius I expect you know where it is so we can apparate from Hogsmead?"

"Sure thing." Sirius nodded.

"Or you just get lost." Regulus snorted. "Or somehow just end up in the Prewet mansion or something stupid."

"Keep your mouth shut." Sirius roared.

"Sirius." James demanded in a warning voice. "Come on guys." He then turned back to Penelope. "You people stay here!" he then demanded as Lieve, Lily, Penelope and Regulus were about to take a step with them.

"What?" Lily hissed. "It's my family! I want to go! And he's my…" she broke off and embarrassed looked away.

"You care for Snape I get it." James sighed. "Fine, you go, but you stay here!" he pointed at the remaining three.

"It's me who warned you!" Penelope protested. "I came for help, not to be left out!" she hissed.

"There is no way!" James said. "You're just a fourth year!"

"You're not going without me!" Penelope stomped on the ground. "I'm not a child!"

"Sure as hell looks like it." James commented dryly.

"If you try and walk away I will follow you!" Penelope made aware. "Severus has taught me some very helpful tracing charms."

James groaned annoyed. "Fine, you can come along to Hogsmead at least."

"I'm going too." Regulus stated firmly.

"Now this is getting ridiculous." James hissed impatiently. "We can't keep eyes on all of you!"

"I didn't say I wanted you to look after me, Potter." Regulus snorted. "But if Penelope is going I'm going too, and that's that, besides." He smirked. "I am probably more able to get you to the right place than Sirius, he can get lost in his own closet."

Sirius growled annoyed but didn`t react beyond sending a death glare his brothers way.

"Ei!" Lieve suddenly exclaimed. "So ye'r planning leaving me behind as the only one!" she looked pleading at them. "Please, I can help!"

"You have no reason to come!" James made aware. "You're definitely staying!"

"Well." Lieve looked challenging at him. "Ye'r seven people, yer not going to be that difficult to follow!" she smirked. "Aint it better just to know where I am?" She seemed very determined about this.

"Hell!" James threw both arms in the air. "Well, if you're going to come, follow these rules, okay! Do as I say! If I for some reason am not there, do as Remus says! We can't have people running around at random in a mansion filled with Death Eaters, promise me now that you're going to do exactly what I or Remus says!" he demanded. "Or I am going to stun you and leave you per force!"

The four non Marauders nodded solemnly, though rather hesitant they could see the sense in Potters words, they needed a leader and the decision had to be made fast, he was sensible, gaining admiration in Lily's, Lieve's and Penelope's eyes.

"Good!" He reached into Remus' bag and took out a silvery cloak and a blank piece of parchment. "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." He mumbled above the parchment which revealed a map of Hogwarts in inky spreading lines. "Okay." He whispered, "free passage."

And all eight of them wandered to the portrait hole, Peter probably being the only one without a sourly determined expression. Out in the corridor Potter threw the silvery cloak at the none Marauders. "You four take this, you're smaller than us, you should be able to manage."

"What's that?" Lily asked grabbing the garment.

"An invisibility cloak." James smiled. "Has helped us a lot through the times, just let it cover you and you're invisible."

The three girls and Regulus did as they were told, Regulus as the tallest had to stoop a little for the cloak to cover their feet. Penelope, the smallest of them, almost felt like being squashed between the three other Phoenix Fighters making Regulus wrap his arm around her protectively, pulling her closer, using the other arm to hold up the cloak over Lieve to their left, who in return used both her hands to keep the opening closed, while Lily to their close right made sure to keep the cloak from tangling.

In that formation they sneaked close behind the Marauders, James Potter walking in front with his map, Sirius to his right with his wand at the ready and Remus equally so at the left, Peter walking between the hidden people and the Marauders nervously looking over the shoulder. They walked downstairs and through steadily shortening corridors, until they reached a tower holding a room with a mirror.

Remus pocked at the mirror once, opening a doorway to a dark and rocky tunnel, several smaller rocks rained down on them as they slowly made their way through.

"Keep the cloak on." James instructed. "Mrs. Norris knows of this passageway, she might still catch us."

Penelope really wished they could take it off, she felt smaller than ever and could hardly breathe with Regulus' strong arm insisting on keeping her close. The walk felt like hours and several times Penelope feared the tunnel would collapse on top of their heads. Regulus clearly had the same feeling and stooped more covering her entirely with his body. She loved him and all, but this was starting to get ridiculous.

Suddenly they stepped out into fresh air of what looked like a cave entrance, in the distance you could see the lights of Hogwarts twinkling in darkness.

James smiled satisfied. "Well," he looked at the four none Marauders standing beneath the cloak. "It's goodbye you three, I guess."

"What do you mean!" Penelope asked surprised as she lowered the cloak.

James smirked. "I'm guessing none of you three is able to apparate!"

Shocked Penelope, Lieve and Regulus exchanged looks.

"Hah!" Sirius lightened up triumphantly.

"And I sure have no idea how to apparate with passengers." James kept on smirking. "So I'm afraid it's the end of line for you three."

Penelope gaped at him. "You tricked me!" she pointed at him. "Why did you bring us all the way out here if you were just going to leave us!"

James shrugged. "We could have been arguing forever if I didn't."

Lily smiled a weird bitter satisfied smile. "It's for the best you know" she told them. "We are adults, you're not."

"What? You're turning on us?" Penelope asked. "And that's your reason! We are all students! Regulus and Lieve are only a year below you, and If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even know Severus is in danger!"

"Lieve." James smirked as he threw his head around. "Follow those two back to the Slytherin common room will you? And then give us the cloak same way as usual tomorrow."

Lieve gaped at him openly. "Nay!" she uttered. "I will nayte!" she glanced begging at Remus receiving only a hard determined stare in return as he stood with his friends.

James shrugged. "Just to let you know, if that cloak in anyway gets harmed you're the one who's going to pay, it's an heirloom." He smirked. "Lighten up carrot, I am giving you a responsibility, well Sirius, will you do the honour so we can follow?" he asked.

"With pleasure" Sirius smirked.

Penelope didn't know what she was thinking, it was a desperate attempt and a lot could go wrong, she just thrust herself forward and grabbed Sirius Black around the waist the same moment he apparated, feeling a weird surge going through her body she held him tighter.

"Oi!" Sirius exclaimed surprised as they landed. "What did you do that for! Have you any idea how dangerous that was? You could have been splinched! Lost a limb! You could have died for Merlins sake!"

"Well I didn't, did I?" Penelope stated sourly.

"Urhm…" Sirius looked her over. "Man, I am good!"

Penelope shook her head rolling her eyes. "I can tell just by that you're nothing like Regulus, he's right, you take nothing seriously."

In the next second James appeared with a passenger as well, Regulus held him in a wrestling grip from behind, however half of his school robe was missing, looking like an odd short jacket, plus he had a nasty looking gash across his cheek. The next ones to appear were Peter and Remus both without passengers, and few seconds after a very apologetic looking Lily holding a tight arm around Lieve, whose spiky orange hair had suddenly gotten considerably shorter.

"Sorry." Lily muttered apologising at the Marauders. "It didn't seem fair."

James scowled looking away as if acquired a bad case of headache and mumbling that it wasn't about what's fair or not.

"Well at least you got the right place." Regulus commented as he looked around. "Outside of London, right?"

"Oh shut up." Sirius scowled, which just made Regulus smirk and turn around to view the mansion in front of them.

"So what now?" he asked looking at the statue of the proud wizard bathed in the light trough a big window clearly visible from their position.

"Now," James scoffed. "We find Snape, he can't have gotten far. If we don't find him we will try to get to the Evans's"

Penelope furrowed her brows. "What if he is already inside?" she asked.

"Well, we don't know that, do we?" James asked. "First we get through the outside grounds, you still have the cloak? Good!" James furrowed his brows as he seemed to be considering very hard.

"Moony." He then said. "Could you go with Regulus, Lily and Lieve?" he asked. "You take the invisibility cloak". He lowered his voice. "You know Penelope knows about… you-know-what... makes us able to use it if we take her."

Remus nodded in understanding. "Come on people, cloak!" he said and disappeared with them.

"No wait!" Regulus protested. "I want to be with Penelope!"

"Black, you promised to do as I said, remember?" James's insisted. "And don't worry, I won't let her out of my sight."

Regulus really didn't seem satisfied, but at last disappeared with the others under the cloak walking away indicated by the sounds of broken twigs and rustle of leaves.

"Sirius." James nodded at his friend, who with a quick smirk transformed into a big black dog.

"Oh my!" Penelope looked at him astounded. "You too?" she asked Peter, who nodded shyly. "And that would make you a...?" she asked, clearly all ready having figured out the pattern.

"A rat" Peter said in a little voice.

"What is Remus?" Penelope asked eagerly, her curiosity taking over for the moment.

"Oh, um." Peter looked questioning at James.

"Nothing." James smirked. "Turns out he's not a natural for Animagia, which is kind of ironic since he's the scholar among us, come on and stay close!"

* * *

_AN; oh my god I can't believe I am finally getting this posted, I am not even kidding when saying these chapters have been done since last December and all I have needed was a beta, and it has really been killing me inside to be this close but just not having them posted. _

_Thank you so much for your patience. _

_Remember to read the additional fic to this one called "Missing moments." describing side stories happning in the same time-line as this fic is taking place. _

_Thank you all once again. Moonbird_


	28. Differences

After twenty minutes searching the mansion grounds they had found nothing. James spotted a lot of protective wards and said the only one able to get through them was Peter, due to his ability to turn into a rat. So he sent Peter to try and locate the Evanses.

Something in Peter's eyes and behaviour gave Penelope the suspicion that this was not what he was going to do. She had the distinct impression he would just find some kind of crack to hide in until it was all over. But, she couldn't blame him. He had seemed like the only one not wanting to go, and the other Marauders had just assumed he would come and had almost literately dragged him with them. He didn't seem to have had too much of a say in anything, and seemed too afraid to say no. Though he was well within his rights to balk when the situation was so dangerous, if he didn't want the responsibility he should have said something… This was leading to places Penelope really didn't want to think about.

But she refrained from pointing it out as both James and Sirius seemed to have faith in him. Penelope couldn't imagine why, from what she had seen he was a cruel little coward who couldn't figure anything out for himself and so just did what his friends did. He looked to be the only Marauder who was actually as dim as Slytherins had made them all out to be. But, then again, it didn't seem like he had much of a choice as no one ever listened to him, and it couldn't be easy to have such powerful smart friends when you yourself are so unimpressive. But, Pen could only empathize so much with that. She had, herself, been so damn tired of being the weak one no one had use for and had finally done something about it.

But then again, from what she had seen from Remus, James and Sirius, they were all strong, extremely smart people, when they wanted to be. She supposed if they saw something in Peter, he really had to have something.

Sirius was loping around in dog form, sniffing the air, trying to capture Severus's scent. And James kept his promise to not let her out of his sight-which meant he had a firm grip on her wrist and would not let go.

Penelope was a bit annoyed about being so over protected. Okay, she was a lot annoyed. She could defend herself. She was not the same scared little girl she was at the start of term. She had tried to set a good example by being the best she could be and had learned a lot.

"Padfoot, you found something?" James asked as the big dog came back to them. It nodded its big furry head before transforming back to a Regulus look a like.

"Well, it's not what we were looking for, but I think you're going to like it," Sirius said with a slightly evil smirk on his face.

James lifted a questioning eyebrow, and Penelope just stared at him, plainly irritated. Why couldn't he just be spit it out, like Regulus would have?

"You know how much you wanted to take Professor Spinner down a peg or two?" Sirius asked, making Penelope roll her eyes and give Sirius a disgusted look, as if to say 'just get on with it already.'

"Come on," Sirius said, nodding his head back toward the direction he'd come from and led them into the bushes, where a shocked Penelope discovered the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher unconscious, magically bound, gagged Muggle style, and in his underwear.

"Okay, I'm confused," James finally said, after a brief pause to review the situation. "What is he doing here? Why is he like that? Who did it and why?"

"Well at least you're asking the right questions," Penelope muttered as she tried to come closer but was held back by James's firm grip around her wrist.

"Don't try and be smart," Sirius stated a little sourly.

Penelope tried to ignore him and stick to the subject, but couldn't quite keep a scathing note out of her voice as she pointed out the obvious, "The house is a meeting place for Death Eaters correct? Well he is obviously here because he's a Death Eater."

"He is?" Sirius looked questioningly at her. "I mean he is evil and all. I know that, but Dumbledore would never hire a Death Eater."

"You-Know-Who probably hid the mark for him," Penelope answered. "Oh right," realization dawned at her. "You weren't there when Severus told us. Well, he is a Death Eater, all right?"

"Right," James said, nodding his agreement but still looking a little doubtful. "Why is he like that? I guess if we knew who it was did the tying up, it would answer how and why bits."

"Isn't it obvious?" Penelope asked, losing patience.

"It is," James Potter agreed with her, after a second of thought. "It had to be Snape."

"Oh god." An anxious feeling crawled up inside of Penelope. "He's inside disguised as a Death Eater."

"What the hell is he thinking!" Sirius exclaimed, just barely managing to keep his voice down. "He just thinks he can blend in? He doesn't know their codes or how they usually behave. He hasn't even grown up as a full blood and doesn't know the customs. And, he doesn't even sound like Spinner."

Penelope looked thoughtful. "It doesn't sound like him to do something so stupid," she mused. "He must have something up his sleeve."

James Potter looked at her, considering. "Do you think we should just leave it? We could mess up his plans, maybe he has it all figured out and we would just cock it up."

"No," Penelope shook his head. "You-Know-Who is planning to let a new Death Eater kill one of the Muggles in a little while. It's sort of an initiation ceremony for them to have a new Death Eater kill either a Muggle or a Muggle-born before they receive the mark, and he himself is going to kill the old man. Severus for sure is going to reveal himself when that happens, and then he's dead. All of You-Know-Who 's anger is focused on Severus."

James Potter lifted an eyebrow in scepticism. "I'm sorry, but you know this how?"

Penelope looked down at the ground before looking up and meeting his hazel eyes. "I saw it, for just a moment I was inside of You-Know-Who's head. Severus was too, that's how we both know."

"How?" James then asked, tightening his grip around her wrist.

"I can't tell you that," she said squirming as his grip began to hurt a little. "He made me promise!"

Suddenly James looked at her green school robes and he started hesitating. "You're not trying to trick us are you?"

"What?" Penelope gaped at him. "Why would I do something like that?"

"Now that I think about it…" Sirius crossed his arms. "Two Slytherins coming up to our tower and bring us to a mansion filled with Death Eaters… kind of suspicious."

"Are you kidding me!" she looked at them, flabbergasted. "And you!" she said to Sirius. "Regulus is your brother! You really think he would want you dead! Have some faith in him!"

"You don't know our family, they would be all too happy to kill me," Sirius informed Penelope, sneering.

"I know Regulus," she retorted. "Yes, he hates you, but he also respects you. He admires you. Why the hell do you treat him like you do?"

Both James and Sirius were confused by her claim. "He doesn't admire me," Sirius insisted. "He always runs around doing what Mommy and Daddy say, and runs to them when he's in trouble. Ever heard him in the school yard? '_My dad will make you pay_.'" Sirius did a mocking impression of Regulus which was all the more grotesque as it came from a face looking so much like his brother's. "I hate mudbloods, stupid Muggles should die!" the horrific Regulus impersonation continued.

"You bastard!" Penelope barely refrained from yelling. "You don't know anything about me and him! People can change!" and she looked ashamedly away.

"Oh really?" Sirius lifted an eyebrow, not believing a word of it. "So he was going around calling people mudblood and worthless and now it's fine?"

"You really want to discuss this now?" Penelope asked, blinking back the tears stinging her eyes. It was only with great difficulty she composed herself. "While there are lives at stake?" she asked evenly.

"We don't know that do we?" James pressed. "We only have your word, so please, tell us about Regulus. I know him too, what Sirius says is true. Convince me he doesn't want Sirius dead."

Penelope stared at them. "Fine," she spit out. "I suppose we have nothing better to do before Remus gets here with his team. But you promise," she pointed at Sirius, "that you won't tell Reg I told you. He wants it to be a secret."

"Fine." Sirius shrugged. "I doubt I'll believe you anyway."

"Oh you bastard," Penelope swore. She felt the anger just well up in her as they trashed Regulus in front of her. "I can't believe this, Regulus is right. You are such a narrow-minded bastard. When he was a kid he looked so up to you, you were his hero and for reasons he couldn't figure out, you hated him," she accused Sirius. "How do you suppose he should react when you hated him for no reason? You abandoned him to that horrible woman who calls herself a mother, yeah?" Penelope saw Sirius's shocked expression and took that as her cue to keep going, maybe she would actually get through to him. "He told me about her, he doesn't like her either, but he had nothing else to do but try and earn her respect, because _you_ wouldn't give him a chance." She took a breath, looked at him, right into his grey eyes so like his brothers, identical even, only where Regulus's showed restrained controlled opinions Sirius's showed raw strong emotion, and continued, "And then to his face, you said you only had one brother and he was called James Potter, what the hell? What about Reg? Isn't he interesting or fun enough for you? And then lately, Lieve? You want to take her in as a younger sibling before him? You should be ashamed!"

Penelope took some satisfaction from Sirius starting to look sort of sheepish and embarrassed. Tossing her head and making her hair swing around to punctuate her point she brought up her strongest argument, "And lastly, I am a Muggle-born. And he knows it. Why would I support You-Know-Who when it's me he wants to kill?" she asked all of them. "Why would Reg, if he were who you think he is, even want to be seen with me since he knows that I am a Muggle-born?"

Both James and Sirius gaped at her.

"Well look at the two full bloods who're oh so good just because you're in the red house," Penelope smiled triumphantly. "I've got Muggle parents and two Muggle brothers. That should be reason enough for me to want to see You-Know-Who go down!"

Sirius snapped his fingers as a realization hit him. "I couldn't find anything on you or your family in the library books." He shook his head. "That's because you're Muggle-born… of course!" Then a flabbergasted look came across his face. "You're a Muggle-born?" he asked dumbfounded.

"Yes." Penelope reconfirmed what she'd just said.

"And you're a Slytherin?" Sirius asked with a blank expression on his face that made him look pretty dumb. Regulus would never wear such an expression.

"Now you're just sounding stupid," she pointed out.

"And you're dating my brother?"

"Yes!"

"And he knows you're a Muggle-born?"

Penelope rolled her eyes. "Of course he does. And I can't believe you're letting your prejudices make you so bloody ignorant! If you don't soon get over yourself somebody is going to be hurt!"

Sirius nodded his head three times and he looked as if he was thinking really, really hard, but still had a very hard time comprehending what he had been told.

James also looked very calculatingly at Penelope. "Padfoot a word," he finally said. "Penelope you stay right here where we can see you. You got that?" he demanded of her.

"Of course," Penelope grumped at him. "I'm not stupid. Like him," she added sourly as she pointed at Sirius who actually looked a little like his brain was over boiling.

James made one last "hrmpf" before he, for the first, time let go of her wrist, and grabbed Sirius to take him a couple of steps away from her. "Okay Pad," he whispered in a low voice. "What do you think, shall we, or shall we not trust her?"

"I don't know," Sirius confessed. "This situation seems too weird and dangerous to me."

"Agreed," said James. "Judging from the last two months she's okay. Remus, Lieve and Lily all trust her."

"Yeah," Sirius whispered. "But they trust Snape too. In fact they are acting for Snape… If they're telling the truth… Do you trust him now?"

"I don't know," James admitted. "I do think he may have really changed. He cares for Lily that much is for sure, and he doesn't seem to be interested in gaining power any longer. What do you think of her story?"

Sirius bit his lip. "I don't know," he answered completely lost. "It really sounds like a tale spun just to lure us into a trap. That she's a Muggle-born is just the sort of tale that would convince two blokes like us. And you know Slytherins, they are good liars. Hell Snape could have learned from her tactics. But…" He gave James an almost pained look. "If what she says is true, I've got a hell of a lot to make up for."

James sighed. "So we are on the same page. It's all about whether or not we trust her, and we need to make the right decision. If we trust the wrong person, it could mean the end for us."

Sirius shook his head. "I am not ready to put that much faith in a girl I don't know, nor Regulus," he confessed, "especially not Regulus."

James looked down at the ground as he shook his head. "Me neither," he mumbled. "But we can't just leave."

"What are we going to do then?" Sirius asked.

James considered the situation then said, "We need to see if Lily's parents are really in there. They are our new priority, and we need to ditch Penelope and Regulus - maybe even Lieve and Lily - thoughts?"

"You know I always trust Moony. He's one of us. And I trust Lieve," Sirius stated immediately. "She's cool. But Lily is still heartbroken over Snape. She's ready to do just about anything if there is a hope for her to be of use to him."

"Clearly," James nodded bitterly. "So we need to ditch her too?"

"Yeah," Sirius bit out between teeth clenched in grim determination. "So what do we do?"

James furrowed his brows. "Trouble is that Remus and Lieve actually trust them too, so what do we do with them?"

Penelope used her time waiting on James and Sirius to look over Professor Spinner and try to gather some clues, but it was no use. She was so tired of it all. She was tired of being hated by people because she was a Slytherin and hated by Slytherins because she was a Muggle-born. She couldn't see anything wrong with either thing. So she was a girl with ambitions, and cunning enough to achieve them. She was proud of those features in herself, those were good abilities, and she loved her family. She remembered the hats words.

_"How interesting, so much ambition, the nerve to drive it through, and a gleaming cunning too. You could get so far, oh so far, in the right house, but it would mean playing dangerous games, dangerous indeed. Are you prepared to face that danger? You will do fine in any house, but here you will be able to find true greatness. It's up to you."_

And Penelope without a second thought had responded, 'What is life without challenges and danger? Bring it on!' Only to realise less than a month after, that it was probably not that great an idea.

And right now, she was so fed up with being thought so insignificant. A fourth year student and a girl, apparently those things meant people didn't think she was worth bothering with, not even Severus thought it was necessary to listen to her. Hadn't she proved herself already? Why was everyone around her so important and herself so useless? It was more than anyone could bear.

It felt like the two Gryffindors were whispering to each other for forever just ten feet away from her. Why the hell she couldn't be included she didn't know, and it irritated her no end. She felt like barging into that mansion, casting a tracing charm for Severus, and dragging him out by the neck. But she couldn't, because she knew she needed help. She was cunning enough to know the key was to collect people, to draw from other people's strength. It was the way to get furthest, just like Slughorn and his Slug Club, only Penelope was sure it was everyone who counted. People aren't set in stone; even the most unimportant seeming can change into someone really great.

At last the two boys stopped whispering, but only because a group of feet under an invisibility cloak were coming their direction.

"Penelope!" Regulus's voice sounded out of what looked to be thin air.

"Hey Reg," she said and gave a faint smile in the direction of his voice.

"Wha is tha?" Lieves voice also sounded. Then the cape was removed from all of them and Lieve could be seen staring at Spinner's frail unconscious body. "Oh my," she exclaimed, drawing the attention of the rest of the group to Spinner.

"Mooney," James called from their spot, "come here, we need a word."

Remus went over to join his friends where he was included in the whispering.

"What have you gathered from that?" Regulus asked in a low voice as he pointed at Spinner.

"That Severus was here, stunned him, and took his clothes," Penelope whispered back. Lily's eyes widened slightly.

"Are you okay?" Regulus reached an arm forward clearly intending to embrace her.

"I'm fine!" Penelope harrumphed, pushing the arm away.

"Lieve," James then called, "a word please."

"Eh?" Lieve looked at them and pointed to herself, confused.

"Yes, you," James confirmed.

Lieve looked questioningly at Lily. "But I thought…" she trailed off and then agreed, "okay," and headed over to the Marauders.

"What are they talking about?" Lily asked with a furrowed brow.

"I don't know." Penelope sighed. "They won't tell me," she told them bitterly.

"Where's Peter?" Lily then asked.

"Oh he's..urhm…" Penelope looked at Lily and Regulus, momentarily lost for words, "Scouting…" she said at last.

Regulus lifted an eyebrow and asked, "Alone?"

"Look it's fine," Penelope assured them. "The Marauders have so many gizmos they are keeping secret, but it helps them getting around."

Lily looked very puzzled and a little worried. "It's not illegal stuff is it?"

Penelope wasn't sure what to say. Being Animagi would have to be extremely illegal the way they were doing it. But, why were they Animagi? She just shook her head. Thankfully the conversation was cut short by the four whispering people coming over to them.

"We have made a decision," James explained sternly. "Me and Sirius will be going inside under the invisibility cloak, the rest are going to stay here."

"But," Lily immediately objected.

"Lily, I am in on the decision too," Remus informed her. "It's for the best, they need to be able to move around under the cloak, and two people will be ideal."

"But why not me?" Lily asked. "They are my family! He is my best friend!"

"That's exactly why," Remus told her. "You're not thinking rationally, we need people with clear heads."

"Oh yeah, like Siri is the man for that?" Regulus snorted, though he seemed somewhat relieved by this plan as he moved close to Penelope.

"Why not you then?" Lily asked Remus.

Remus sighed. "Because, I am to stay with you. And Sirius knows the house," he said firmly.

"No he doesn't," Regulus protested but was shot down by a look from James.

"Why can't I come?" Penelope asked. "I'm pretty small. You could easily fit me in."

"There is no way!" Sirius blurted out.

It was probably the first appreciative smile Regulus had ever sent his big brother, though it was lost on Sirius who was trying to stare down Penelope.

"Come on," James said grabbing the cape. "No use hanging about arguing." And as they disappeared Remus and Lieve placed themselves between the invisible boys and the rest of the group to stop Lily and Penelope from trying to follow.

"You stay here," Remus said firmly.

Lily scowled at him. "So that's why they wanted to speak with the two of you, because they knew they could convince you to turn on us."

"Lily calm down," Remus instructed. "Even before we left you promised to do what either James or I said, so _sit_ down!"

She all too unwillingly did as she was told, sending angry looks at Remus. But, he held his ground, Lieve loyally standing right next to him, but looking a little wary.

Time passed in silence and nothing seemed to be happening. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, Penelope had no idea. She only knew that if felt like forever. She was sick with worry and was getting cold. She sat close to Regulus and let him wrap a warm arm around her. To her left Lily was just staring into space, clearly doing some hard thinking about the situation.

"I don't like this," Lily suddenly said, fog coming from her mouth as she spoke. "It's been too long, something must have gone wrong."

Remus hesitated, "I admit, we should have gotten some sign by now."

"What if they've been captured?" Lily asked in a horrified whisper.

"Then there's nothing we can do," Remus said sharply.

"Well there is…" Regulus hesitated.

Remus lifted an eyebrow at him. "Yes?" he asked politely.

"Well…" Regulus pulled Penelope close as he looked at her. "I could go and knock on the door."

Remus stared at him as Regulus pulled Penelope at little closer.

"They are my family. I am a Black and a loyal one, as opposed to other people I could mention." He turned to Remus. "Supposedly, I am welcome at any time."

"That plan is so simple that it might actually work," Lily commented. "I mean, who would suspect someone who just knocks on the door?" she asked the others.

Penelope shook her head. "I wish Potter and Sirius would have trusted us long enough to hear that plan, hell Sirius could even have done the same number."

"No he couldn't," Regulus disagreed, shaking his head. "He's a blood traitor."

"It's too dangerous," Remus eventually decided, "We are staying here."

"Why?" Lily objected. "I have to go. I can't keep sitting here!"

"Yes you can," Remus insisted crossing his arms and sending a sour look at Lily. Lieve was looking warily from him to Lily.

Lily stood up. "We will be going now," she said. "I need to get in."

"Lily, I don't want to fight you," Remus pleaded as he drew his wand. "But we need to keep cool heads. And you are _not_ going inside."

"I don't want to fight you either," Lily said with a hurt look in her eyes. "So I am sorry." She drew her own wand.

"Somnus!" It was neither Lily nor Remus who had cast the spell. It was the girl with bright orange hair who stood right beside Remus, staring wide eyed at Lily as if she couldn't believe she just did that.

Lily swayed a bit and blinked her bleary eyes, before she sunk to the ground fast asleep.

Shocked Lieve stared at Remus who looked back at her with wide eyes and a shocked expression. Yet they shouldn't have let themselves be distracted like that.

"Somnus," Penelope whispered with her wand pointed at them.

And both Remus and Lieve also sank to the ground.

"What did you do that for?" Regulus asked, bewildered.

"It was my only chance," Penelope said, a bit shaken herself. "Remus wouldn't have let us go." She looked pleadingly at Regulus. "Reg, we need to get in there."

Regulus swallowed. "This is madness." He shook off his discomfort and looked into Penelope's demanding eyes. "Come on," he said, grabbed her hand, and left the unconscious people behind.


	29. The price

Penelope firmly clutched Regulus' hand as they stood in front of the door, she could not believe they were actually doing this, it seemed so easy!

Regulus knocked three times with a heavy handle, it had started to rain soaking them thoroughly, chilling them to the bone. Penelope used her school robe as a tent pulling it over their heads, Regulus had long since abandoned his own which had been damaged during apparation. They waited some time in silence then he knocked again.

Finally the door opened revealing a young gorgeous woman with long brown hair and heavy eyelashes, her features reminded her of Regulus and Sirius, she looked at them in surprise.

"Regulus," she uttered. "What are you doing here?"

"I have no idea Bella," Regulus told the woman. "Gonoril and I were taken from Hogwarts, something about it not being safe for us there at the moment. Gonoril's parents are in France so I decided to take her home, but mom said we can't stay there either so she apparated us here," he looked over his shoulder. "She just left," he added.

Bellatrix looked quite intrigued. "Something is happening at Hogwarts?" she asked with a lifted eyebrow, then mumbled something about fortunate timings as her master would no doubt be happy to hear this.

"Can we come in?" Regulus asked. "It's kind of cold out here."

Bellatrix hesitated suddenly, looking over her shoulder and sighing. "Very well," she opened the door letting them through. "You are going directly to the guest quarters and will stay there," she instructed, "Rodolphus is having very important guests."

"Of course," Regulus nodded.

She closed the door leading them towards the staircase, Penelope trying to catch glimpses of the milling figures, Bellatrix preventing exactly that through skilful manoeuvring.

"This way," she herded them up the stairs. "I wouldn't be to curious if I were you, little Miss..."

"Selwyn," Regulus provided innocently.

"Good, good," Bellatrix nodded. "I shall expect nothing less of someone you invite into my house." They had reached the landing and followed a long corridor. "Do you have any idea what exactly the commotion was?" she asked with a furrowed brow.

"None," Regulus answered confidently. "It was pretty rushed."

"Hmm," Bellatrix considered. "Well, in you go!" she pointed at a door. "Not you Ms. Selwyn," she said as Penelope was about to follow him. "It is not appropriate for a lady to share room with a man. You are going to stay in there." She pointed at the door down the hall. "There are some of my old dresses in the closet there. Please, feel free to choose one for yourself, that school uniform is hardly appropriate for a lady in a home like this."

"Thank you Miss," Penelope curtsied respectfully.

"It's a Mrs.," Bellatrix stated smiling proudly as she presented a hand with a shining ring on her finger, an oval wine red stone glinting in the middle.

"When did that happen?" Regulus asked.

Bellatrix smirked. "Only last December, we didn't want to make something big out of it."

"Congratulations Bella," Regulus smiled sincerely. "I wish you had told me though."

"It was nothing worth being overexcited about," Bellatrix smirked tossing her head proudly, her thick hair falling graciously down her shoulders, making her look even more gorgeous.

Penelope couldn't help regarding her warily. There was something wrong about her, something really odd, as if there was an inner ugliness behind the big eyelashes and rich lips, something so ugly that the body could not hide it. It made her a lot less attractive, almost downright unattractive and vulgar, and somehow Penelope got the feeling that it was only a question of time before that ugliness would crawl up to the surface and make her a weird repulsive creature.

"In with you now!" Bella clapped her hands snapping Penelope out of it. "Be quite and don't you dare go out and explore," she warned explicitly.

Quickly both Penelope and Regulus did as they were told hearing a click as soon as the doors closed behind them, locking them in.

Regulus didn't have to wait too long however, just managing to get changed before his own door was opened again.

"Severus is the best teacher ever!" Penelope brightly smiled from the other side of the door.

Regulus couldn't help but stare at her though. "What the heck are you wearing?" he asked.

Despite the dress clearly being from when Bellatrix was a girl it was still oversized on Penelope. It was supposed to be an extravagant black dress filled with details and blonds that would have been beautiful if it didn't hang so weirdly around her, hopelessly held tighter to her body with a black silk sash which made it look even weirder. Worst of all though was the large black hat with a black veil attached to it, which she held away with her black gloved hand to reveal her face. Her wet hair still in pigtails fell down her face, her glasses starting to get foggy. "Well, I thought wearing this would prevent people from recognising me."

"Pen, you would stick out like sore thumb wearing that," Regulus implored. "You don't even look at home in it. It would look a lot less suspicious if you were just walking around as if you belonged."

"Oh," she realised. "But I don't have time to change, we should just get moving."

"Pen, if anyone sees you in that, they will know immediately you're not supposed to be here," Regulus sighed. "There will be no talking out of this, go in and try again please."

Annoyed Penelope walked out with big clumsy steps that made the whole picture even more ridicules, she was clearly not of a fine family Regulus could not help but chuckle.

The second try presented a much improved picture, the dress was still oversized but a lot simpler. It was beautiful white silk elegantly flowing around her body, making her look like some kind of elf or spirit as she was forced to lift up the long skirt making it sweep more around her. She had released the pigtails letting her slightly wet hair fall down her shoulders, at least trying to walk upright and fine, her oval glasses though still seemed strangely out of place.

But Regulus couldn't help smiling, she was beautiful, and giving into his urge to kiss her on the forehead, she was just so cute somehow, before grabbing her hand. "Let's go," he whispered. They did not get far however hearing someone coming up the stairs, startled Regulus and Penelope looked at each other before darting into their respective rooms and locking them with magic.

"Are you sure there was nothing strange going on before you left?" Bellatrix voice sounded on the other side of Regulus' door.

"Not entirely," a screeching voice answered, "but I would like to question the young lad alone."

"Not likely, I want to hear what they have to say," Bellatrix retorted as the door slammed open to reveal the two figures.

"Professor!" Regulus exclaimed surprised.

Spinners gray eyes squinted at him. "Mr Black." He wasn't smiling, his mouth set in a permanent frown, quite unlike him, that is unless something was wrong. "I hear you were taken from school."

"Yes, Sir," Regulus stated. "I was."

"And I suppose it was because of the damn Aurors who were trying to use veritaserum on anyone with connections to true purebloods?" Spinner asked nonchalantly, though his eyes were very saying.

Regulus lifted an eyebrow slightly before nodding hesitantly feeling rather confused, but knowing better than expressing it.

"Then it's all fine." A smirk crooked Spinners lips. "Dumbledore didn't allow it in the end, so it's safe enough for you to go back. I am sure Mrs. Lestrange would be happy to borrow you and your friend her fireplace."

Bellatrix however seemed unimpressed looking calculating from Regulus to Spinner and back again. "Why don't you go visit the girl," she said finally. "I think I need a word with my cousin." She smiled softly. "I bet he wants to know all about my wedding before we part, why don't you just wait for us?"

Spinner squinted his cold gray eyes at her, his mouth in a frown. Then he shrugged and exited.

Bellatrix' smile turned into a frown as well when she eyed Regulus and crossed her arms. "Something is wrong," she stated coldly. "Regulus, tell me what it is."

Regulus looked with a lifted eyebrow at her, but didn't answer.

"Who else is in my house," she asked impatiently, then sat down beside him. "Regulus, I only want the best for you, you know that," she told him softly. "The Dark Lord is downstairs and he will reward anyone who helps him."

Regulus looked at Bellatrix biting his lip lightly.

"Your family would be very proud," Bellatrix pressed on. "And there is nothing wrong with our cause, you know that." She smiled lightly. "We as the best of the wizarding world need to stand together. We are family you know, and I love you cousin."

Regulus furrowed his brows defeated before opening his mouth.

* * *

Penelope was folding her hands nervously as she sat on the bed, the fine silky dress draped around her. She kind of liked this dress, it made her feel very pretty, though the situation prevented her from enjoying it, she was far to nervous and scared. The waiting time was always the worst. She was really good in action, she was focused then but still looking like a scared girl, and she hated that about herself.

And as what she didn't like about herself became only to obvious when she fell down the bed startled by the door slamming open, annoyed at herself she looked up and gaped.

"Professor Spinner!" she looked wide eyed at him. "How did you..?" she broke up fearing her friends in the forest might have been taken captive. Had she brought them all in danger?

Spinner crossed his arms frowning at her, looking quite displeased. "What exactly are you doing here Miss Pauperitt?" he asked.

Penelope gulped then tilted her head her mind working. If Spinner was here Lily and company had been captured, yet it was all to fast in her estimation, she didn't hear any noise from the hallway, and no doubt neither he nor they would give in without a fight. "Severus?" she asked tentatively.

Spinner lifted an eyebrow. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"We found Spinner gagged and bound outside," Penelope informed him. "And besides, the real professor Spinner would be all smiles right now."

The Spinner imposer blinked once then frowned. "When you said, we, did you mean just you and Regulus?"

"No, the Marauders and Lily are here too," she said, "couldn't get here without them."

Severus frowned again as he turned around in annoyance.

It was weird watching Spinner knowing it was really Severus, which Penelope was sure was the case.

"Didn't I tell you to stay behind?" Spinner's voice asked thought in such a serious tone, it didn't even sound screechy. "And you brought Lily? Why!"

"You would have had no second thoughts staying behind and giving yourself up!" Penelope argued. "I couldn't let you do it."

"That's no concern of yours," fake Spinner sneered a way to much like Severus. "You are going home! Right now!"

"Not without you!" Penelope crossed her arms. "I refuse!"

"Aren't you a little selfish? What about Lily's family, you just want to leave them?"

"Then let me help you," Penelope pleaded. "Let Regulus help you, let the Marauders help you! For Merlins sake let Lily help you! We all want to because we care!"

"Miss Pauperitt! Now you listen to me! Stay out of this!"

Yep, this was definitely Severus Penelope couldn't help but smirk. "No," she said. "I'm standing my ground, we all came her for you!"

Severus looked hard at her. "You're in my way!" He sneered. "You're of no use to me, just a weak little mudblood, why would I bother with filth like you?"

"Severus, you don't mean that," Penelope said though her voice was failing.

"I enjoyed those session with you, I loved to see you break, I just wanted to make you suffer even longer, you stupid little mudblood," he smirked at her. "I'm a pretty good liar."

"Yes," Penelope looked at him with big almond shaped chocolate eyes, "you are. I'm coming with you."

"You truly think you have a say in the matter," Severus smirked.

Slowly Penelope's eyes widened not doubting his words. "Severus, please," she pleaded but it was to late, his wand was pointing at her, her entire world turning suddenly black as she slumped down on the bed.

Severus sighed exhausted as Penelope slumped down her glasses hanging askew on her face. What a mess, why on earth would all these people suddenly be here? That was beyond Severus's comprehension.

"Graham," Bellatrix' voice sounded from the doorway.

Slowly Severus turned around to face the much hated woman. "Yes," he answered.

"I have been thinking, and I have concluded that they should stay for the night," Bellatrix smiled sweetly at him. "It's getting late you know."

This did not sit with Severus at all, but seeing no way out he just shrugged nonchalantly. "Fine," he simply stated as he followed her out. "Though I could just take them off your hands and back to Hogwarts with me."

"What, and miss the special occasion?" Bellatrix asked. "It's rare to see the Dark Lord in such a good mood lately, I suspect the thought of capturing that mudblood lover Snape sits well with him."

"Absolutely," Severus nodded.

Bellatrix frowned. "Why you just couldn't take him from the school grounds, I don't know," she stated sourly.

"It would blow my cover as well you know," Severus answered her. "Beside that the Dark Lord wants to see the brat suffer before he kills him."

"Or maybe the Dark Lord just thinks you are to weak," Bellatrix smirked. "Poor, poor Graham, so weak and so unworthy of the responsibility."

"The Dark Lord has given me great responsibility," Severus raised his neck proudly.

"But you did not live up to it!" Bellatrix hissed. "You are a failure Spinner!"

"Then why am I here?" Severus offered her a big fake smile not falling for it. "I am of use to our Lord." Then he noted their direction. "Where are we going?"

"The cellar," Bellatrix answered in a low voice. "I need to check something."

Severus raised an eyebrow as his pace fastened. A bit to quickly they walked down the stairs. Severus' heart almost stopped, the cellar door was standing wide open.

Bellatrix was standing frozen next to him. "No," she whispered, "no no NO NO NO NO!" the whisper turned into a scream before she covered her mouth as if afraid of being heard. "Find them!" she whispered. "FIND THEM BEFORE HE FIGURES!" she screeched in rage.

Severus looked the place over noticing a big black dog laying in the shadows, hiding itself pretty well. Severus' eyes wandered to the corner of the room. "Get whoever we can trust, I will stay here!" he said.

She looked at him suspicious.

"I am pretty well wandered in tracing charms and I don't want to face the Dark Lords furry either!" Severus said despairingly, hiding his calculating stare.

At that Bellatrix nodded and ran away.

"Potter get out, I know your here!" he turned to the corner.

Nothing happened beyond the dog snarling as Severus looked directly at it.

Severus rolled his eyes, he had to blow his cover now. "It's me Severus." He sighed when still nothing happened. "Potter you used to call me Snivellus, last year Black almost had me killed while exposing me to Remus' beasty problem, I used to scare Petunia with spiders and stories of dementors, Mr. and Mrs. Evans were kind enough to give me new clothes for Christmas and Augustus found out I was his grandson as we were interrogated last January by Alastor Moody, there, you all have some information only you and I would know."

The cloak fell away from the corner where it had been stretched like a blanket so it only had to cover the front, which allowed more people to hide and they were quite a lot, Potter, Petunia, Mr. and Mrs. Evans and Augustus.

"Wow," James Potter stared at him, "nice makeover Snape, it suites you."

Severus snorted. "Look, we clearly need to work together here. Do you all fit under that cloak?"

James Potter shook his head. "No," he breathed. "We tried, but we don't."

"Well, we have to make do," Severus sighed, "and quickly before she comes back."

"I go without invisibility!" James immediately stated.

"Don't be stupid," Severus snorted. "The others might just go as my prisoners should we be caught, you are not even supposed to be here".

"Then it's clearly me," Augustus said sternly. "At least I can defend myself."

"Agreed," Severus nodded. "Do the rest of fit?"

They tried, but their feet were still helplessly visible and a slim opening kept appearing.

"That won't do," Severus sighed.

"I'll step out," Harry Evans ducked out, "I'm the largest, it makes sense."

"No, Harry," Marguerite's head appeared out of thin air.

"I'm afraid he's right," Severus nodded. "Come on, we don't have time for arguing!"

"Come on Snuffy," James whispered to the dog, which came crawling out from the shadows.

Severus lifted an eyebrow then shrugged. "If you let me?" he pocked both Mr. Evans and Augustus on the head with his wand to throw the camouflage curse turning them into human chameleons.

Surprised Mr. Evan looked himself over. "Why I never..."

"Time to move on Harry," Augustus commented dryly as he pushed him towards the stairs where Severus was already headed.

Swiftly and quickly they moved up the stairs, Severus leading in front, the camouflaged Augustus and Mr. Evans right behind him, then a seemingly empty gap and finally a big dog sneaking behind.

They had almost reached the hallway as running feet came towards them. "Quick, hide!" Severus demanded springing back.

But there were no place to hide. James Potter was just about to stick his head out of the invisibility cloak. "No you don't!" Severus demanded as he pointed his wand at him. "You stay put Mister, who's going to take care of the Evans's if you're taken, hm?"

The big dog started snarling. "And you stay put dog!" Severus snarled back.

Severus shuffled the people to the side and up against the wall, where Potter at least had sense enough to see what he wanted and did the same trick with the cloak again, just in time for a voice to interrupt them.

"Graham!" Bellatrix gasped seemingly out of breath. "You found something!"

With her she had brought two other people, a tall proud looking wizard with black goatee and cold blue eyes, Rodolphus Lestrange, her husband, and more surprising, Regulus who looked calculating at Severus.

"Yes," Severus nodded. "I think they might have run upstairs. That or they ran outside, what do you say we split up?"

Bellatrix squinted her eyes suspiciously. "Fine, I will go with you."

"No need Bella," Severus smiled placatingly. "Why don't I just take young Mr. Black here, I have been wanting to spend some time with him, he is one of my favourite students after all."

"Regulus doesn't know the grounds as well as I do," she said clearly calculating.

"Oh, I'm sure he will do just fine," Severus answered. "Besides, it's just about following the trail."

"It's fine cousin," Regulus insisted. "I know the grounds well enough, and I want to find those muggles. We can't have such filth mucking around on our lane," he said, his tone lacking conviction though.

"Hm," Bellatrix lifted an eyebrow at him. "Yes, that filthy smell won't be able to go away for a while."

"And I will keep an eye on him." Regulus hinted at Spinner. "I know he is not to bright a specimen."

"You dare speaking thusly to your professor!" Severus sneered, which softened Bellatrix making her chuckle lightly. "Very well, Regulus," she said. "You have already proven yourself valuable today." She smiled fondly at him.

Ashamed Regulus looked away.

"What do you mean?" Severus lifted an eyebrow at Bella.

"Oh, just that I wouldn't even know I had rascals in my home if it weren't for him," she smirked. "He knows the importance of punishing the filthy muggles who think they can hide from the Dark Lord."

"I..." Regulus looked at her. "I just wanted to be helpful," he muttered unsure. "You know I can't stand ...mudbloods." It didn't seem like he wanted to even say the word.

Suddenly the front door slammed open. "Bellatrix!" a familiar voice screeched, six people were standing in the entrance, Spinner, two other Death Eaters and the remaining three Phoenix Fighters. "Don't listen to him, he is an imposer!"

Shocked Bellatrix stared at the two Spinners and so did her husband. "Thank you Regulus," she sent him an approving smile before yelling, "STUPEFY!" at Severus.

Severus having his wand at the ready deflected it with ease, Augustus, still in chameleon disguise, and James Potter appearing seemingly out of nowhere, placed themselves beside him. Severus didn't hesitate to send a Sectumsempra at Bellatrix hitting clearly as she foolishly tried to deflect it and throwing her across the room where she landed with a wide open gash across her chest, bleeding rapidly.

"You son of a bitch!" Rodolphus roared only to be bitten in the leg by a big black dog. Potter yelled, "Exspilliarmus!" and the wand flew out of Rodolphus' hand.

"I take that," Augustus grabbed the wand in mid air. "Son, you are bad company, I led a whole life time without loosing a wand and since I met you I have lost two." He said to Severus.

"I'll try and make it up to you later," Severus snorted as he body bound Rodolphus on the floor.

"_FINITE__ INCANTATEM!"_ a female voice roared. Bellatrix despite bleeding freely and being unable to rise yelled the counter charm at Severus who suddenly felt a wave spreading through his entire body as various things snapped into place.

"SEV!" Lily yelled from the other end of the room.

"HE IS HERE! HE IS HERE!" Bellatrix crowed delighted. "THE SNAPE BRAT CAME BEFORE TIME! HE IS A REAL GENTLEMAN, ISN'T HE! ALWAYS MEETING UP FIVE MINUTES BEFORE TEA!"

Next thing they all were surrounded by Death Eaters and a fight broke loose. Severus stood back to back with Augustus unable to move away from the spot there the Evans's stood hidden beneath the invisibility cloak, just trying to keep the Death Eaters away. In the corner of his eye he could see Regulus and Sirius engaged in a duel, shouting both swear words and curses at each other.

"Siri stop!" Regulus yelled. "We shouldn't be fighting right now!"

"Then you shouldn't have turned on us!"

"They are our family! And they are good blood, they deserve consideration. If they weren't warned the Dark Lord would have killed them!"

"Then let them die!"

"You're such an arrogant cold bastard!"

"You're such a sleazy git!"

The fight was full on, hexes flying in all directions, more Death Eaters arriving and getting far to close to the Evans's.

"RUN!" Severus ordered the others. "Go through the door!"

"Not without you!" Lily shouted as she stood back to back with Lieve and Remus.

That woman was unbelievable, why couldn't she ever just do as told? Why couldn't anyone just do what Severus told them to! "Lily I don't need you!" Severus shouted back. "You're useless! You're in the way! Mudblood! MUDBLOOD!" he yelled desperately, get a hint woman, just don't get hurt, please, get out. And deep down he knew it was useless, she knew him, she could read him like an open book, and his actions counted more than his words in this situation as he pushed her aside from a flying stunner, shielding her with his own body, which sent him tumbling through the air.

"Enough!" Voldermort himself stepped into the room. With a nonchalant flick of his wand he forced all six Hogwarts students to their knees, the Death Eaters stopped fighting immediately.

Voldemort seemed absolutely ecstatic to see Severus. His red snakelike eyes were glinting in delight as he smiled widely, the green snake around his neck seemed equally happy fixing its reptile eyes upon him. "Oh Snape, so good of you to come," he grinned happily.

Severus spat at floor to Voldemorts feet.

"Crucio!" Voldemorts voice sounded sending pain through every single nerve in Severus' body. He grinded his teeth his eyes watering but did not scream, he had taught himself long ago how to handle this sort of pain.

Suddenly the pain stopped and Voldemort didn't look happy anymore.

"Why are you not screaming?" he inquired dangerously. "You think yourself stronger than me? Oh, but you are wrong Snape, I am going to make you scream, I am going to make you scream and beg for mercy!"

Severus just hissed in pain from the floor.

"Ah, Mr. Black," Voldemort turned to Regulus, "as I managed to hear you helped our cause immensely." Suddenly he frowned. "Who is that girl you are thinking about?" he asked dangerously.

"Uh, no one, my Lord," Regulus looked away though obviously to late.

"Don't you lie to me boy," Voldemort hissed. "Your thoughts should have been with me, I was about to reward you, you would make a valuable servant, but you are concentrating on her."

"It's probably that mudblood," Spinner sneered. "Penelope Pauperitt, Master, a little bespectacled mudblood."

"Ew!" Bellatrix now healed was slowly raising with the help of her husband, though still looking pale. "I am hosting a mudblood!" she exclaimed horrified.

Regulus looked shocked at her. "She is not like that," he told Bellatrix. "She is different."

"Don't tell me she has bewitched you," Bellatrix snorted. "She just saw your money and power and wanted part of it, they can be slippery those mudbloods."

"Don't you want to serve me boy?" Voldemort asked. "Don't you want power?"

Hopelessly Severus watched the boy in front of him a terrible sense of déjà vu making his insides churn, only this time he was an outsider looking at his younger self.

"I... I do," Regulus stammered. With the uncertainty there was also a genuine desire to be acknowledged and to take his place as one of the important wizards, yet Regulus did better than Severus had, his emotions were warring already.

"Lestrange told me you wish to enter my service, is that not so?" he asked. "It... it is," Regulus answered, "I do want to serve you, I really do. I know why the course is honourable!" and you could see he did mean it, though he was under strain.

"Come," Voldemort gestured to where he had come from. "Bellatrix bring the girl," he smiled horrifyingly. "And bring them to," he lazily pointed at the students.

"My Lord..." Yaxley hesitated. "What about the muggles?"

Voldemorts shrugged, "I don't care for insects." He left the scenery uninterested.

Bellatrix hurried up the stairs while the Hogwarts students were forced violently on their feet and pushed after Voldemort sans their wands.

There were two Death Eaters holding Snape as if afraid he would escape despite his position.

"You look somewhat familiar," Yaxley commented to Lieve whom he happened to hold. "Have I seen you before?"

"Nay! I don't keep company with scum like ye'r kind!" she pitched in a high and angry.

"Oh now I see!" a smile spreading on his face, "it's your hair, it's exactly the same colour the man I killed once had, that colour is abnormal you know, and you sound alike to, I believe I've found a dirty blooded offspring! You'r father, thank god we got rid of such trashy blood!"

"I kill you I swear!" Lieve started struggling and spitting. "YE'R ALL SLUBERWORM SLIME, AND NARL SHIT! BEING DEVAVOURED BY A PERUVIAN VIPERTOOTH AND GET CRAPPED OUT ISN'T BAD ENOUGH, I BOIL YE'R LOT WITH ROTTEN DIRICAWL EGS, BUT THAT…."

The number of swear words she could spit out was nothing short of remarkable, though more remarkable was Yaxley's smile that instead of turning into a sneer just grew bigger with each forthcoming profanity, until he decided it was enough and pressed his big hand on her mouth, the noises just becoming muffled sounds.

Yaxley chuckled. "It's like I have captured a smaller version of the delightful kill, she's really the splitting image of the filth! I'll hope I get to do it twice." His chuckle became a little louder. "I guess this is the purest form of mudblood, a little brat with the manners of a pig. AUW!"

Lieve had bitten him in the hand and looked very smug about it as he looked disgusted down at her, though without removing the hand. "You little..." He sneered. "Dirty like your father, he really was nothing more than filth."

Lieve sent him a glare with her sky blue eyes that were just visible between the hand that covered half her face and the many strands of unruly orange hair falling down her forehead, still making some muffled sounds turning red with anger.

They found themselves in a big dining hall. The floor true enough stretched out in the pattern of a chess board with jade green and black squares, a huge tapestry decorated with the image of three snakes twisting around each other hanging on the wall, a gigantic window covering almost the entirety of the far wall displayed the rain falling heavily in the dark, splashing down on the trees and the statue of the wizard. Voldemort himself was sitting down on what could be called a throne, petting his snake with his hand.

"Bring the purebloods," he waved his hand.

Both Sirius and James were pushed forward as Regulus slowly walked with them.

"So," Voldemort looked first at Sirius, then at James and then back at Sirius letting his eyes rest on him. "You are a Black." He stated.

"Yeah," Sirius snorted.

Voldemort did not look impressed. "Your family have proven themselves to be very valuable servants, you could be as well."

"I would rather eat narls crap then serve you," Sirius spat borrowing one of Lieves swear words.

Voldemort snarled as his eyes turned to James. "How about you?" he asked. "Your blood is proud and old. I could use someone like you."

"If you think I'm even tempted, you must have eaten nails," James Potter stated.

Again Voldemort snarled. "Are you that sure? It is your rightful place, especially yours," he looked at Sirius. "You belong here, your brother knows that."

Regulus nodded slowly but his eyes fixed firmly on the floor.

"Reg," Sirius looked at his brother. "You... you don't need to."

"I do," Regulus looked at him with serious determined eyes, yet could not hide his obvious fright and uncertainty. "It's what I was always meant to do, and you know it, I'm not like you."

Sirius looked at his brother, for the first time truly seeing him realisation dawning, his eyes suddenly showing sadness and regret as he bit his lip. "Oh Reg, I am so sorry," he said in a voice that was barely a whisper, yet the words carried through. "I pushed you into this, please don't, you have a choice."

"Enough!" Voldemort sneered. "Regulus knows where his loyalties lie, he knows where and what he is supposed to be, you on other hand are a traitor and will be dealt with accordingly."

James and Sirius just returned his gaze coldly while Regulus looked away.

"There you are Bellatrix," Voldemort sneered as Bellatrix came in with a firm grip on Penelope who was almost tripping over the long white silk dress. "Bring the girl!"

Forcefully Penelope was pushed forward, all the way up to Voldemort where she was thrown face down so her nose almost hammered into his shoes. The green snake slithered down Voldemorts shoulders and around Penelope's neck to her obvious discomfort as she tried to sit up, her eyes were slightly widened in calculating puzzlement as it touched her skin and she stumbled backwards.

"Rise for your Lord," Voldermort demanded.

Slowly Penelope got up the snake returning back to its master.

"Take the blood traitors."

Sirius and James were forcefully pulled away by the Death Eaters to be put back beside their friends.

"Regulus," Voldemort smirked, "time to prove that your heart is to our cause." He nodded at Penelope. "Kill the mudblood."

It was like the entire world was standing still, no one dared breathing, everyone's eyes were fixed on Regulus, and Regulus was staring wide eyed at Penelope his mouth open in shock and his hand clutching his wand.

The white fabric was falling down Penelopes frail body and her long dark brown hair down her frail shoulders, her deep brown eyes looking incredibly sad at Regulus behind her glasses.

"My… my... Lord," Regulus stammered, "please... have mercy!" Tears suddenly appearing in his eyes, "I beg you, have mercy ...please!"

Voldemort frowned annoyed. "She is a mudblood, she is better off."

"Regulus," Bellatrix hissed. "If you don't do this, you are a blood traitor, you will die."

Helplessly Regulus shook his head. "But she's different, she's not like any muggles or mudbloods."

Sad Penelope looked at him. "Reg, if you really think like that, I was wrong about you."

"Don't speak in my presence!" Voldemort hissed. "Crucio!"

Penelope fell to the floor screaming, seizing up in pain before falling limp though still twitching from the after effects of cruciatus. With an impressive show of strength she managed to lift herself up on the elbow and spit at Voldemort. "Well if I am going to die, I just might as well." She spat at him again.

"Insolent little brat!" Voldemort brutally smacked her on the side of her head making her fall over once again only to have the cruciatus curse hit her. She screamed out then stayed down painting.

"Regulus, finish her off!" Voldemort demanded.

"Pen I..." Regulus gasped.

"Don't talk to the mudblood, just finish her!"

"NO!" Regulus shouted, "IMPEDIMENTA!" he shot the spell right at Voldemorts chest. "PENELOPE RUN!" he grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet, but only got three steps far before Death Eaters descended on them.

"ACCIO WAND!" Severus suddenly yelled reaching towards a black wand sailing into its masters hand. "_FIENDNECTIM_!" Blue flames shoot out at the Death Eaters. "ACCIO WANDS!" several wooden sticks flew through the air. "Take them!" Severus threw the wands to the group beside him.

Regulus held Penelope close to his chest as he span around raising his wand at the Death Eaters, she only had a silver knife snatched from one of the tables on the run, which she held in front of her with both hands as if it were a real weapon. "Pen… Pen I'm... "

"I forgive you," Penelope said immediately facing the blue flames and the Death Eaters surrounding them. "Well, just in case we die… I think I love you."

Once again Regulus was forced to turn around because of the flames protecting Penelope with his own body. "Well, I guess this is a good time as any saying I love you too."

"Yep," Penelope sounded jokingly, "best romantic setting ever... SEVERUS!"

The flames divided to give them clear passage to Severus.

"YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!" Voldemorts voice sounded dividing the flames from the other end as well, the Snake coiling in front of him.

"PENELOPE! REGULUS! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Severus shouted.

Penelope however was regarding the snake calculatingly. She looked at Voldemort then at Regulus and gave his hand a squeeze before letting go and thrusting herself towards the snake, which she grabbed and knifed down its throat before anyone noticed what was going on. The snake struggled and hissed in her grip blood pouring from its mouth, but Penelope held on and twisted the knife until it went limp.

"NOOOO!" Voldemorts scream chilled them all to the bone. "You little bitch!"

He forced Penelope up by her hair. "You will pay," he sneered.

_"_Then I die for my friends!" Penelope stated though she was also cried in pain from being held up by the hair.

_"AVADA KEDAVRA!"_ a green flash lighted up even the blue flames, his scream sounding clearly over the yells and the burning flames.

As the light went away Penelope stood absolutely still, not an expression on her face, it was like the entire world had gone into slow motion for Regulus. Voldemort let go of her hair, for a moment it looked like she would keep on standing upright, her hair falling down her expression less face, but then she fell over like a dummy with her face down, followed by the sound of shattering glass, and Penelope lay motionless on the floor.

"NOOOO!" Regulus screamed. "STUPEFY!" Voldemort was thrust to the side.

A shadow descended beside Penelope.

"No," Severus whispered as he turned Penelope over. "No no no!" he fumbled with something on her face. "No you can't do this!"

"REGULUS, TAKE HER!" Severus stood up. "PORTUS!" he shouted at an object beside them. "TAKE IT! TAKE HER!"

The other Fighters were right beside Regulus shooting hexes at the Death Eaters to cover him. The big window had shattered, you could see the Evans's shocked faces on the other side as they had been attracted by the light of the fire.

Severus stood in front of Voldemort, they were in an one on one battle sending fire and ice at each other in form of giant serpents attacking and protecting the two duelling wizards, sending waves of energy through the room that could be felt with every cell of once body. It was like witnessing two giants fighting and anyone who got in the way would have to face the consequences.

Regulus stumbled to Penelope picking her up, only to notice that she felt weirdly limp in his arms, her head and arms lolling. "No no," Regulus begged as the tears found their way out of his eyes, "not her... why her?"

"Regulus, let's go!" Sirius shouted as he grabbed his younger brother by the shoulder and followed the others through the window.

"What about Sev!" Lily yelled as they jumped out of the window.

"You really want to interrupt that?" James Potter pointed at the two battling wizards and the blue flames surrounding them. "I can't promise he will be fine, but he only needs to get to the window to apparate. And if we don't beat it now, all of this would have been for nothing!"

"Come on people!" Remus held forward the object which turned out to be a silver plate. "Everyone hold tight to this!"

Regulus grabbed Penelope closer as he touched the plate. Lily did the same though her eyes did not leave Severus, his face filled with fury as he thought the best he could, sweat dripping down his brow as he commanded a snake of blue fire. She looked at his strained face trying to hold unto it, trying to just see him this one last time, knowing that… no! This wasn't right! She shouldn't give up like this! She was about to let go of the plate but it was to late, suddenly a surge went through her body, everything went dizzy and she stumbled onto a wet lawn, the rain falling down in heavy drops on all of them. Regulus looked down at the girl in his arms and was met by the empty big brown eyes staring unseeing into distance.

"Penelope!" he called to her knowing it was of no use. "Pen, wake up! Please... please wake up!"

But she remained unresponsive.


	30. Here we stand

Regulus stared at the small body in his arms sitting on his knees in the wet grass not able to understand, the rain falling heavily on him. Why wasn't she answering him when he called her? "Pen!" he said a little louder. "PENELOPE!"

"Oh no," Lily's voice sounded. "No, tell me it isn't true!"

"E'… E' killed her," Lieve answered chocking. "Nay! I cannae believe it!"

"Wake up," Regulus pleaded. "Penelope please wake up, don't tease me like this!"

"Reggy..." Regulus felt a hand his shoulder. "Bro, she's dead," Sirius said in a low voice.

"No... no she can't be!" he turned around and faced his brother who looked at him sadly. "TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE!" Tears were falling down his face mixing with the drops of rain covering it. "YOU'RE LYING! YOU'RE ALWAYS LYING!"

"Reg, I'm sorry," Sirius offered sincerely. "Let me take her."

"No!" Regulus held the white dressed figure even tighter. "It's my fault, my fault and I'm going to make it good again! You see! She'll come back to… to arrange another Phoenix Fighter meeting," even he could hear how ridicules it sounded. "She always arranges those."

"Reggy," Sirius pleaded. "Please, don't make this harder on yourself."

"Why are you comforting me?" Regulus asked. "STOP COMFORTING ME! HATE ME! YOU SHOULD HATE ME!" he yelled almost unable to breathe properly, crying his heart out, feeling so much pain and regret. "It's my fault! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! MINE!" he yelled right into Sirius' face. "I TOLD BELLA THERE WERE INTRUDERS SO SHE COULD PREPARE HERSELF! I TOOK PENELOPE INTO THE HOUSE! I SHOWED HER INTO THE GRYFINDOR COMMON ROOM! I REALLY TRIED TO JOIN THE DARK LORD! I WANTED TO BE IN HIS SERVICE! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! MINE! REGULUS'! I AM A SLEAZY DIRTY EVIL GIT, JUST AS YOU ALWAYS SAID!"

Sirius looked lost for words, so he dropped down to his knees surprising even himself and embraced the crying Regulus brotherly. "Cry it out Reg, yell at me. It's fine."

And Regulus broke down completely crying in big gulping sobs, clutching Penelope's dead body to him. Sirius just held on silently, letting tears fall freely.

Behind him Lily was sobbing into James Potter's shoulder, James just looking wide eyed at the scenery, as if he couldn't believe it.

Lieve was held by Remus but did not cry. Her face looked very much like the first time she had been introduced to the Phoenix Fighters, gazing straight ahead with empty eyes. Her head was leaning upon Remus, and slowly her arms crawled up his back to give him a comforting hug while she rocked him back and ford in an attempt to comfort the kind Remus. Tears were rolling down Remus' face as he held her tightly and used his free hand to rub some warmth into her neck, it was freezing cold and they were all soaked from the rain.

The Evans's were standing close together embracing each other, seeming to not quite understand the situation, but knowing something terrible had happened.

Augustus stood alone sadly looking at the picture, neither was he crying but rather looking tired and exhausted, not to mention very old.

The rain continued falling, it was freezing and condensing breath escaped all their mouths, the sobbing of Regulus the only sound to be heard over the rain drops.

"Come on Reg," Sirius said softly. "You don't need to let go yet, but you need to go with us into the castle."

Regulus didn't notice they were on the Hogwarts grounds. Vaguely he nodded and stumbled to his feet.

Slowly they walked through the rain towards the huge doors, Regulus looked down at the girl in his arms, she started turning blue, horrified Regulus closed his eyes unable to watch. She looked so much like a spirit in the white flowing dress and he didn't even want to think that.

"What is going on here!" McGonagall met them in the entrance hall. "We have been looking for you, you were reported missing by your housemates."

"Professor," Remus croaked but then looked away unable to voice it.

James took over. "Professor McGonagall," he said surprisingly calm. "It was Voldemort... he killed Penelope."

"Oh my goodness!" Suddenly McGonagall discovered the figure in Regulus' arms. "Is that..." she rushed towards him looking shocked at the blue pale body and empty glassed over eyes. Resigned McGonagall closed her eyes before opening them again and gently pressing Penelope's eyelids down with her fingers. "To the hospital wing, and you are?" she gestured at the Evans's.

"My family," Lily said tearfully. "Voldemort tried to kill them."

"Minerva," Augustus nodded at McGonagall. "I was with them, I took it upon myself to get them out of the country for protection." He shook his head. "I failed. They took us in Sweden."

"Mr. Potter take them to my office, Mr. Black I will follow you to the hospital wing," McGonagall instructed.

"I'll come with you," Sirius insisted at once, he still had an arm around Regulus' shoulder.

"Very well," McGonagall nodded.

James lifted an eyebrow. "Why your office? What about the headmaster?"

"He is currently not at the castle," McGonagall snapped. "I will meet you there in a moment."

They all did as they were told and James ended up sitting next to Lily patting her shoulder. It felt like he only witnessed her being sad lately, he wanted her to be happy, even filled with annoyed furry which was one of her trademarks. He bit his lip, somehow he could tell it will be a long time before he would see her smile again. He remembered the two wizards fighting, manipulating the fire around them, sending what had looked like giant snakes of flame at each other. Snape had been protecting them all, it was only to obvious. And James... James had been wrong about a lot of things. He tried to follow Remus' example and rub some warmth into Lily's icy cold hands, but it seemed of little help.

McGonagall entered the office at last looking rather shaken, Sirius still had an arm around his younger brothers shoulder, and Regulus, he just looked lost.

James maintained the role of the leader, leaving Lily to her family, stood up and told their entire story to McGonagall from the beginning to the end. How they had been sitting in the common room and Penelope had barged in with the news of Snape being in mortal danger, how they had complied to help him and how he and Sirius had sneaked into the mansion, how they had almost been caught several times before they found the cellar where Sirius used his blood to open the door, but then realised they couldn't get out all of them, and how Bellatrix and professor Spinner had appeared, only Spinner turning out to be Snape in disguise, how they had been facing Voldemort, and how Penelope in a mindless act had thrust herself towards the snake and killed it making Voldemort furious and killing her before Severus was able to make a passage for them in the flames and a portkey, so they could escape. He sunk back exhausted after that. It felt like he had been talking forever.

It was Regulus turn, but he didn't have much to add, he told them how he had found Penelope in the hallway in hysterics and brought her to the common room, he told how they had simply knocked at the door, ashamed he looked away as he confessed to have warned his cousin about intruders as he had feared for his relatives lives, and how Voldemort had asked him to kill Penelope but he couldn't.

Augustus also came with their side of the story, that only a couple of hours ago they were brought to Voldemort, that they had been captured suddenly while hiding out in Sweden, apparently it was Mrs. Evans who had been spotted in a muggle store and had from there been followed.

McGonagall listened and nodded to all of this. "Where is Mr. Pettigrew?" she asked. "I was lead to understand he left the common room with you."

James bit his lip. "We didn't have time to find him, he was scouting for us." He looked guilty at Sirius. "But he should be safe, we didn't let him inside and he is under disguise."

McGonagall lifted an eyebrow but nodded. "How did Mr. Snape learn to conquer fiend flames? Can anyone tell me that?" she looked demanding at Lily, "and controlling it no less."

"I don't know." Lily shook her head. "I didn't know he could do that."

The door opened slightly and Slughorns head appeared. "Minerva," he said in a low voice. "They are here, do you wish to talk to them before we show them…. " he sighed, "the body."

McGonagall nodded. "You may go." She gestured at the students with an uncharacteristic softness in her eyes. "You are excused from class," she added softly, none of them had noticed the morning light creeping slowly over the grounds.

As they left the office they almost ran into two muggles who took a step back looking confused. The man was quite small for a man, with a bolding head of greying brown hair and very dark eyes, he had a strong moustache and held a supporting arm around his wife though he was half a head shorter than her. The woman showed clear traces of beauty, her greying mouse brown hair fell unkempt down her soft round face, she looked like a woman who always smiled but right now was just beyond lost, huge almond eyes precisely liked her daughters looked at them demanding an explanation.

Regulus turned to them. "Mr. and Mrs. Pauperitt," he said in a voice filled with sorrow. "I just wanted you to know… Penelope meant the world to me... she changed me for the better, and she..." He closed his eyes, "she was the best person I've ever met."

"You are Regulus right?" Mrs. Pauperitt asked.

Regulus nodded.

"She spoke so much of you," the woman told him. "You made her very happy." She put a light hand on his shoulder. "Thank you for making my daughter happy, she never was enough before she met you."

Hurting Regulus looked away.

"Come on Reg," Sirius whispered.

"I need to be alone," Regulus stated as he ducked under the arm around his shoulder. "I... I can't stand this."

"Reg please," Sirius pleaded.

But Regulus stumbled backwards, turned and made a run for it.

"Are you all right mate?" James asked placing a hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"I'm fine," Sirius shook his head. "I just don't think Reg should be alone right now."

"Hey," James offered half a smile. "We'll be there for him when he comes around, alright."

"Sure we will," Sirius nodded. "No way he's going to go home now. Not if I've anything to say about it. He's a blood traitor now, mum would just kill him." Defeated Sirius shook his head before a slight smile crept over his lips. "You saw that? He hexed Voldemort right in the chest!" Sirius recalled amused. "My little brother is awesome!"

James gave an amused snort, "sure he is!"

Searching each other's company the five students found themselves in the Marauders dorm, none of them wanted to leave Lily or Lieve alone, so there was no question about keeping the two girls with them.

They spend the morning sitting around motionless, just watching the sun creeping over the still empty March landscape in a weird state of shock trying to comprehend what had happened. Lily excused herself to be alone after a while and only to reluctantly James let her go.

Lieve looked worried up at Remus as her eyes turned heavy. "Why do ye always look like the world is on ye'r shoulders and everything is ye'r fault?" she asked in a distant voice. "This ain't ye'r fault." she continued as she sank into Remus's shoulder. "Please dinnae break because of this, please... don't, it's his fault, ye know who, none of ye's, none, ye'r all good and kind.. " and her breathing was suddenly in a heavy slow tythm, clearly indicating that she had fallen a sleep.

Remus sighed. "She must be exhausted, we all should sleep."

"I don't think I can," James stated darkly looking straight ahead. "I'm soo... so pissed at myself!"

"You?" Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "I'm the one who should be pissed at himself."

"That doesn't really matter, does it?" Remus said as he lifted Lieve up in his arms and moved her over to Peter's empty bed. "We should at least try and get some sleep."

James watched Remus pulling a blanket to cover the messy looking orange haired girl neatly. "Does this mean you're finally getting over yourself?" James asked wondering. "I mean, making a move on her. Just saying, you have needed a lady for some time."

Remus frowned annoyed. "I really don't think this is a good time for discussing this! You know quite well why I don't want to see where this could lead."

"I really don't think she would care," James implored in a shrug. "She's to genuine in everything to make such a surprise break as going away"

"Absolutely," Sirius nodded.

"Guys, really!" Remus cut them short getting angry. "Penelope died only hours ago and all you care about is my love life? We left Severus and Peter behind on their own, they could both _die!_"

"Wow, easy!" James put his hands up. "Of cause we are concerned about it, I was just saying!" he yawned then. "You know, you're right, we should try and get some sleep," and without changing his clothes, which were both dirty and burned in several places, he laid down flat on his back and closed his eyes, only fumbling a bit around his face to pull off his glasses and drop them on the nightstand with a sigh. He was out within moments.

Sirius pulled a similar stunt, only he actually dragged the burned school robe over his head leaving his hair looking all messed up before he fell head first into the bed with a thump.

Only now could Remus feel how exhausted he truly was, and as neither James nor Sirius were looking he gently brushed a strand of orange hair away from Lieve's face and caressed her cheek leaving a trail of soot from his fingers. He sighed deeply. _You all are such trouble, I hope you know that_, he thought removing the soot with a corner of his robe, watching the figures on the beds. Finally he pulled his school robe over his head and had the sense to remove his shoes before laying down and falling asleep almost immediately.

Regulus was probably the most exhausted of them all, yet unable to sleep as he sat alone in the corner of an unused classroom clutching a brown leader folder, careful not to crease the paper in it. His head kept nodding as he tried to stay awake forcing his eyes open only to have them grow heavy again.

"_REG__, REG!" Penelope yelled happily as she ran into his open arms. She was wearing a green and silver stripped scarf plus green earmuffs, it was quite cold and the snow lay thickly around them. "REG, YOU DID IT!" she yelled in pure delight as he picked her up easily due to her small size and whirled her around. "I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! YOU CAUGHT IT!" _

_Regulus laughed__, the adrenalin of the Quidditch game still pulsing in his veins. "Told you I could do it!" he boasted._

"_No, you didn't, you said you felt like you're going to be sick this morning," Penelope pointed out amused._

"_Good job Regulus!__" Diane Diggory friendly punched him on the shoulder. "You should have seen Potter's face! He looked like his mother had just given him spanking!"_

"_That's nothing," Penelope giggled finally let__ down by Regulus. "Reg, it's a shame you didn't see Sirius, he looked like he just took a dive into dragon fertilizer!" _

_Regulus chuckled amused. "Oh, I wish I had seen it!" he said dreamily. _

"_That's okay, I'll just draw it for you," Penelope giggled. _

_Regulus laughed so hard. "Please do, mu__m would love to have that picture framed and hung up!" _

"_Oh Reg," Penelope pulled his ear__ hard, it actually hurt a bit. "What did I say about at least trying?" _

"_You're the only one who would be this persistent you know that?" Regulus grumbled annoyed. _

"_I know," Penelope smiled rather smugly, "but if not me, who__ then?" _

Regulus blinked and looked up, he had fallen asleep. The room he sat in was bathed in an orange glow, the sun was apparently already setting outside, and the silence around him was interrupted only by low whistling of the ever present drafts. His neck and back were complaining painfully from sleeping in the hunched over position he had been in, to his left the dark brown folder lay where it had slipped out of his hand and several sheets of paper had fallen out. Regulus gathered them up quickly and returned to the clutching position.

He could hear a set of footsteps approaching from the direction of stairs, light footsteps.

"Penelope!" as he uttered the name he already knew it was impossible, but couldn't help the tiny bit of hope blossoming in his chest. Maybe it was? Maybe it hadn't really been Avada Kedavra but some trick spell that was supposed to simulate death? Maybe Penelope had spent the last hours in a wild search for him. He had been very selfish in that case, he would have to apologise, he would have to apologise for everything! He was unworthy of anyone's consideration. When the door opened Regulus' heart was all the way up in his throat only to sink down to the bottom of his stomach as he realised the girl entering was not Penelope, it was just Lily.

"Reg, are you in here?" Lily asked tentatively.

Regulus did not make a sound hoping against hope she won't see him as she scanned the room with her eyes. "Oh, there you are! Reg, you look awful," she pointed out.

And she was the one talking? Awful was the only word to properly describe her, her dark red hair was unkempt, eyes red from tears, her startling green eyes which would normally sparkle lively were dull and empty. Her clothes though clean hang messy and listless on her frame, strangely enough she had a crow seized owl Regulus didn't recognise with her, which she held close and kept petting. She walked over slowly and sunk down next to him. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"I'm fine." Regulus turned his head away. He didn't want anyone's sympathy, he had brought this one upon himself.

"What do you have here?" Lily asked.

"Nothing!" Regulus snapped pressing the folder to his chest.

Lily sighed. "It's something of Penelope's, isn't it?" she asked in understanding. "It's fine, I'm not better, this is Mona Sev's owl." She petted the owl again. "Sev didn't leave anything else behind and I just wanted to feel connected to him... I want him here so badly." She stared at the opposite wall not seeing it. "I keep expecting Penelope to just wake up and come find us," she breathed. "I can't believe she's dead, it had all been so fast."

Indeed it had, this time yesterday he had been sitting with Penelope in the common room considering if it would be prudent to try and kiss her soon, she had voiced her worries about Severus and he had told her that it would sort itself out. Then she had realised she was late and ran out to meet Severus for their weekly practise, despite looking strained and full of dread. It had almost been comical.

The talk about Penelope stung Regulus' chest, he lowered the folder and opened it carefully. "It's her drawings," he confessed. "She didn't think they were good enough to show anyone, I had to bug her for a week after I caught her sitting and drawing in the common room."

Opening the folder he was met by his own face in a very beautiful and detailed ink drawing.

"Oh, this is wonderful!" Lily's eyes widened. "I had completely forgotten that she drew."

In opposite to the real Regulus, the face on the paper smiled slightly regarding them with warm loving eyes, in the corner there was also a snitch that seemed to be flying across the page followed by a lot of small hearts. Regulus couldn't help but chuckle at the hearts, not even Penelope was save from some ridicules habits girls had. She had not been little Ms. Perfect, but that was just another reason to love her. He turned the page and felt yet another even greater sting in his heart, the picture was almost unbearable, it showed two stick figures standing close together, a girl with pigtails and glasses and a boy with short black hair and a snitch beside his head. It was only to obvious who it was supposed to be, and to make it more painful the corner spelled out, _Pen and Reg together forever!_ surrounded by more small hearts.

Quickly he put the picture away.

"Oh!" Lily gasped as he eyes lingered on the next page.

The ink drawing was another beautifully detailed one, it was Lily and Severus together, Lily resting her head on Severus' chest while smiling sweetly and Severus looking down at Lily smiling with obvious affection and adoration in his eyes. _Best Friends_, was written in the corner in neat hand, and there was also a snake and a lioness curled together with the writing, _It's possible!_

There were drawings of almost all the Phoenix Fighters, though Regulus was clearly in favour closely followed by Severus. While Regulus' drawings were warm and often filled with hearts, Severus' were dignified, as if she wouldn't dare to do something he might find immature even in drawings. Many of the pictures spelled, _Friends_, the four Marauders laughing, Lieve and Remus sitting close together and reading a book looking exactly like they had last December before Remus started distancing himself. They had both wanted to read the same book, Lily remembered, and then decided to sit and read it together, which Lieve had been only to happy about. Diane and Regulus on their broomsticks (hearts around Regulus yet again), there were also a couple drawings of birds and animals, thought they seemed to be older and put away compared to the others.

"She told me she mostly drew birds in the past," Regulus said in a hollow voice. "She always thought that there was something amazingly free about them."

Lily's eyes lingered on the drawing of a beautiful stag in the middle of a leap and a little notion, _Never trust animals again!_ written below it, before she turned that page and looked sadly at the very last drawing in the folder, which seemed to have been stacked back there because it was to painful to look at.

It showed Severus' face gazing to the right steady and sad, leaving the impression of carrying the burden of the world on his shoulders and having to face it all alone. His hair fell heavily framing his face, his expression so lost and vulnerable, yet determined, with steal shining through telling he was no one to be taken lightly. There was something unearthly and mysterious about the drawing, as if the person in it didn't really belong to this world and had realised that, yet tried with all his might to protect those he never could belong to, simply because he loved them. In Lily's mind, that drawing was nothing short of a masterpiece.

It was precisely what she saw when she thought of Severus. "Can I have this?" she asked uncertain.

"Sure," Regulus shrugged nonchalantly. "Take whichever you want."

But Lily couldn't bring herself to take any more of them, it felt to wrong, so she just rolled up the one of the sad looking Severus so it doesn't get knitted.

The owl started clicking impatiently and reaching its head towards Lily's hand demanding more attention.

"Who thought Severus would own such a social owl," Regulus commented.

"I think she was a gift from his grandfather," Lily answered as she petted the owl making it purr in delight.

"I'm sorry," Regulus looked away suddenly remembering. "He hasn't come back, has he?"

"He won't come back," Lily shook her head sadly.

Regulus looked at her horrified.

"Oh, he's not dead," Lily stated immediately realising how it sounded. "I know he's not dead! But… he won't come back to us." She sighed exhausted. "He thinks his presence is putting us in danger." She bit her lip, "that stubborn dumbass!"

Regulus could only agree, he himself would want to say a thing or two to Severus, beside punching him in the face that is. But seeing tears in Lily's eyes he felt bad about it, realising that this could be the last time any of them ever saw Severus. Though the man was both powerful and clever, some of his actions seemed a bit suicidal, he was obsessed with seeing Voldemort go down by any means, and that was a dangerous game to be playing.

"How are your parents?" Regulus asked in an attempt to change topics.

"They are in shock but fine," Lily sighed. "Petunia… my sister, she's swearing never to have anything to do with the wizarding world ever again, I think we scarred her away for good this time."

"What are they going to do now?"

"Going back into hiding," Lily sighed. "We are all targets now."

Right now his position didn't bother Regulus that much, he felt like he deserved to die, he felt so dirty. He genuinely wanted to be a Death Eater and then had been violently thrust into reality showing him the wrongness of it all, everything he had been told through his childhood was a blatant lie.

He managed to convince himself that Penelope was just a different sort of muggleborn, that she was special because she was a Slytherin and so on. He had denied the fact that Lily, who had stood up for him on more than one occasion, was a muggleborn as well and a Gryffindor at that. He had heard Penelope's point about acceptance and understanding but hadn't listened, and now didn't feel worthy of Lily's comfort so he turned away from her. She wouldn't go away though, just sitting there petting the purring owl, the stupid animal being completely unaware of what had happened. Though as it kept pressing closer to Lily Regulus had the feeling that the owl somehow knew someone was missing and could feel a void lingering. Perhaps Mona missed her master?

Regulus' emotions were warring between wanting to be elsewhere and keeping Lily company, he just wanted to dig a hole to crawl in and die, but felt like it would be rude of him to simply leave, and he owed Lily to much to be rude to her, so he stayed put wallowing in the guilt filling the emptiness in his chest, which was probably why he didn't hear someone enter.

"Hey... I hoped you would be here," Sirius murmured.

Regulus felt physically ill, he wished the earth to swallow him whole as he jerked his head around cradling the folder even closer.

"Reg please!" Sirius begged sitting down on his knees in front of him. "Reggy," Sirius' voice broke. "I am so sorry."

Regulus pressed his eyes shut turning away, trying to keep the nausea and emptiness at bay. He could feel Lily moving away from them.

"I don't expect you to forgive me but I need you to know that I am sorry," Sirius pleaded. "Penelope, she was a good person and she didn't deserve to die! She didn't disserve us mistrusting her! I didn't know her well but I'm sure she was extraordinary and I wish I could make it up to her. To you!"

Slowly Regulus opened his eyes to meet Sirius' gaze and discover that he was both earnest and sincere, his eyes shining wetly.

"For everything I've done or said about her, about you, about Slytherins," Sirius was clearly rumbling, "and everything I said to you, it was childish! All since we were little, I don't know what I was thinking, but it's my fault!" Sirius blinked away some tears obviously ashamed. "I guess... I guess it's because I knew I could never be the son our parents wanted and you were, so I decided to hate you all instead, but I shouldn't have, at least not you. I should have been a brother to you, but I never was."

Regulus could only stare at him still feeling nothing but emptiness inside.

"Reg, please talk to me," Sirius pleaded. "Say something."

Regulus was looking into his brothers gray eyes, identical to his own yet not. There was so much between them, so many things buried deep down, he had remembered witnessing Sirius yelling at their mother_, "I hate you mum! And I hate dad! And stupid little Reggy!"_ had been Sirius' exact words. That was when Regulus had realised he would never measure up to his brothers acceptance much less pride and it had hurt more than anything else... but he had been eleven and Sirius twelve... they had been children... and yet, everything that had happened after was based on that incident, everything but this... and of all times, why now? Why now when everything was so bleak and hopeless, why now when Regulus had been so close to becoming everything Sirius always proclaimed him to be? "I..." Regulus crocked. "I don't know." He clutched the folder with drawings closer averting his eyes. "I don't know anything."

"Please let me help you to figure it out," Sirius pleaded. "Let me try to make it good again. I'll do anything!"

"I don't know," Regulus repeated. "I don't know if it's to late."

And then the two brothers just looked lost at each other like there was nothing more to say while Lily tried to pretend she wasn't there. It was a relief when the door opened again.

"Hey," James Potter greeted.

"Hey," Lily responded.

Regulus took the newcomers in, James Potter, Remus and Lieve were all looking quite their worst. It was getting dark outside so Remus and Lieve moved to light the candles in the room.

"How are you three?" James asked sitting down in front of them joined by the others.

Regulus looked away leaving Lily to respond. "I feel horrible," she confessed. "I miss Sev so much! I want him to be here!" She rested her chin on her knees. "He's all I can think about and then I get guilty not thinking about Penelope, but I just can't believe she's gone." Then she looked at Regulus as if expecting him to pour out his own feelings now. No way! He felt so guilty and small like a slimy git, which was precisely what he was, so that was a good thing he supposed.

"Hey Reg," Sirius tried again. "I really meant that..."

"Don't say it!" Regulus snapped. "Why now of all times? You were right, okay! I am a traitor and a sleazy git! I killed her!"

"No, you didn't," Sirius looked at him surprised. "We all saw it, it was Voldemort who..."

"Don't say his name!" Regulus hissed covering his ears with his hands.

"Oh... I'm sorry," Sirius tried to save it. "But it was him who did it!"

"It could as well have been me!" Regulus could feel the tears rising again. "I had my wand out! I pointed it at her! I was supposed to kill her!"

"But you didn't," Sirius pointed out. "In the end you chose her not them."

"But it's my fault!" Regulus stated angrily. "All of it! If I hadn't taken her to the Gryffindor tower, if I hadn't taken her into the mansion or even suggested it, if I hadn't told Bella there were intruders!" he choked out ashamed fighting the new tears. "I betrayed all of you!"

"You've made a mistake!" Lily stated clearly. "But you regretted it, and as far as I'm concerned you have already redeemed yourself! As Sirius said, you chose Penelope! What do you think?" she asked the others.

Everyone nodded solemnly and made Regulus feel even more ashamed.

"And the thing is," James sighed. "You're not the only one who made mistakes." He ran his hand through his messy black hair riling it up even more, though more out of habit than anything else. "I took responsibility as a leader but I didn't act like one, instead of putting the people who wanted to help to good use I distrusted you and tried to shake you." He sighed. "I can now see at least a thousand ways we could have gotten the Evans's out unnoticed if I had trusted you and your abilities, especially you Regulus." He looked at him. "And then Severus would have had no reason masquerading in there and gotten out just fine." Defeated James' shoulders sunk down. "It's my fault just as much."

"And mine," Sirius stated soberly. "I didn't trust some of you either and I should have, and I shouldn't have been fighting you," he told Regulus. "If I didn't, we might have had a chance to fight our way out before Volde... You-Know-Who entered," he corrected seeing Regulus stiffen.

"I failed miserably too," Remus muttered. "If I just..." he broke off.

"I shouldn't have tried to fight you, I shouldn't even have been considering it." Lily bit her lip ashamed. "I'm sorry Remus."

"It's all right," Remus sighed.

"I'm so sor'y I hexed you!" Lieve blurted looking at Lily. "I shouldn't have, I mean..."

"It's fine," Lily said. "I know why you did it, I was out of line."

"But..." Lieve looked wide-eyed at her.

Hesitating Remus almost put his hand on the Irish girls shoulder, actually his hand was already hovering above it as he opened his mouth, but refrained retrieving it in the last moment.

"See," James implored. "We all did mistakes, even Severus who may have made the biggest. He would have been killed for sure, they had all sorts of tracers on him and he would have not been able to get all the prisoners out unnoticed, he should have asked for help."

"Don't you dare to talk like that about Sev!" Lily snapped angrily. "He saved us all!"

"Trust me I know," James told her firmly. "I'm greatly in his debt, we all are. He's even much more intelligent and powerful than any of us ever thought, which is why it would have been so easy if he had asked us for help." James shook his head. "He's not thinking clearly at the moment and it makes me worry for his sake, and I know," James sighed, "I know he is out there fighting, not to gain glory or anything remotely like that, but just to protect us." He looked at Lily, "to protect you."

Lily held back as she bit her lip.

Despite not wanting to feel better Regulus did, but only a little as the void was still gnarling on his insides. They sat in silence for a while.

"Wha are we gonna do now?" Lieve then suddenly asked. "She and Severu was' the heart of the Phoenix Fighters, wha now?"

"We can't let the Phoenix Fighters die!" Regulus stated firmly head snapping up and a new determination filling his eyes. "If we do, she'll really be dead! She would never forgive me if I let all her work go to waste!"

Remus nodded. "We'll continue of cause," he said.

"I second that," Sirius joined in.

James smirked. "I think we all agree that the club should continue, she was god damn right after all, we need to create unity and stand together. Lack of unity is why we failed, you all noticed how everything went perfectly well when we were working together, we need that."

Lily nodded and then looked down. "I'm not sure any of us can do as well as her."

"But we can try," Remus placed a hand on her shoulder. "At least we can try."

James looked at them. "Phoenix Fighters is a place which is open for everyone and gives people the opportunity to take the first step to unity, and that's a beautiful thing. You always need to take the first step before the next one, but the next step people must take on their own." He looked at each of them seriously. "I trust all of you now, with my life. The Marauders was a group created for an exclusive circle of friends, the people in it protect and trust each other to the last. We are all Marauders now."

Regulus lifted an eyebrow and snorted.

"Yes, you too," James stated, "whether you like it or not, and Severus too even though he'd probably hate the idea, but you are. In my eyes at least you all are."

Remus nodded solemnly looking thoughtful and a bit guilty, but mostly thoughtful. "I agree," he said.

Regulus looked at them confused, he had a difficult time understanding what James meant.

A small smile played on Lily's lips though. "So you'll look out for Severus with me?" she asked.

"Of cause," James assured her lightly. "He's a Marauder and you're a Marauder, we'll look out for each other."

"Can I have a name then?" Lieve asked with a faint smile.

"You're already Carrot," Sirius said smirking.

"Wha? Nay! I wannae a cool name!" she pouted.

"How about Leprechaun?" James asked innocently.

"That's racist!" Lieve pointed out. "Then ye might as well go ahead and call me Troll."

"Moony lover?"

"Oh, good one Pads!" James and Sirius high fived over Lieve's head who had turned bright red and looked down.

Regulus just stared flabbergasted. "How can you act like this?" he almost yelled. "Penelope is dead! And you're talking about nicknames and… and... teasing!"

Lieve looked hurt and chastened. "I'm... I'm sorry," She blurted. "I dinnae mean to disrespect her... I just," she looked at him. "How can she be gone? It's nayte possible! She was me friend! And so strong, and good.. and.. I dinnae know.. she was me friend, I erh. "Lieve pause to take a breath. "How can someone like tha emerge and suddenly be gone!" she asked. "How!" and her eyes turned from desperation to coldness, something that did not suite her at all. "I swear I revenge her!"

"Now, now," James' switch to serious mood was incredibly fast. "Don't you dare doing something stupid or rash anytime soon Missy."

"Oh..." Regulus looked down. "I'm sorry," he muttered.

"That's alright," Lieve answered mildly shocked at herself, then blinked and shook it off, the coldness in her eyes leaving to be replaced by the warmth they usually had, though like in Lily's there was a shadow behind them... come to think of it, it had been there from the start, Regulus just didn't take that much notice. "Beside ye'r easy, ye'r Padfoot Junior."

Regulus' head snapped up. "You've got to be kidding!" he glared at her.

There was a smug look on Lieve's face and to Regulus' annoyance the others were holding back their chuckles, especially Sirius.

"So childish, were you raised in a barn or something?" Regulus snorted.

"Aye," Lieve was still smug. "Me dad used to keep Aathonans, Granians and Kappas as our main animal, we sold thems milk, hair, nails and so to them potions and stuff, but we also had many other things."

Regulus blinked at her, it was kind of hard to retort to that.

Lieve sighed. "I have no idea what happened to them animals though." She suddenly looked very sad and then shook her head shaking it off yet again. "Ye know that Aathonans milch is a main ingredient in any sleep potion?"

Something clicked at that point though. Lieve had tried to turn her thoughts to something different and she had succeeded, it was what she had been doing all year. She didn't cry at all despite loosing her father, probably even her mother as they had not found her, she was assumed dead, and supposedly their entire farm lost. She had dismissed it quickly, ignoring it, refusing to accept it, refusing to appear weak, she had even smiled and spread joy in disputch, and Regulus wondered when she would break.

"That's very interesting," Lily answered politely. She seemed relieved not to have to talk about serious things anymore. Though in her hand she was still holding the drawing neatly rolled, and the owl hadn't left her lap for quite some time.

"So we have just been doubled," Sirius smirked.

"What do you mean?" Regulus asked.

"Twice as many Marauders," Sirius grinned. "Welcome to the club bro!"

Regulus looked resigned in return.

"That's what Penelope would have wanted," Lily said softly, "to see us all working together, this group here... and Sev."

Slowly Regulus nodded feeling his heart grow heavy and his eyes teary, watching the flickering candles in the air. "For Penelope," he muttered.

"For Penelope," Lieve put a friendly arm over his shoulder.

Sirius nodded. "For you and for Penelope," he laid his hand on his brothers.

"For Penelope," James put his hand on top on Sirius'. "For Penelope," and Remus put his on top of James'. "For Penelope," Lily put hers on top of Remus'.

Lieve who had already said her for Penelope put her hand on top of Lily's so they were all touching.

James smiled vaguely. "I hereby declare the group of Marauders consistent of following, Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, Lily, Regulus, Lieve and Severus for Penelope."

Regulus swallowed as he looked up at their sincere and determined faces and nodded his consent going through the names in his head.

Lily smiled softly. "Oh, the things you can't control Sev," she closed her eyes talking to the one on her mind. "If you only knew... You would look at me as if I had lost my mind." She hesitated. "Please be safe!"

Suddenly the door opened and a couple of faces peered in, and Lily remembered. It was Thursday and none of the Fighters had any clue what had happened the previous night, they had just slept and gone to classes.

"What's going on?" Diane Diggory asked eyeing them. "Where have you been all day?"

Lily swallowed, and she knew what she had to do. James was the leader of the Marauders, but she had been third in command of the Phoenix Fighters, and now in lack of the working engines she had to stand up and be strong to keep this organisation going! She took a deep breath and rose. "Listen up people," She said sternly. "Last night something terrible happened and you all should learn the truth, especially one thing so come in, sit down and compose yourself."

Slowly the Phoenix Fighters entered and sat down looking confused at the grieving Marauders. Lily though remained composed walking over in steady strides with Mona sitting on her shoulder, observing the room with sharp eyes. Finally it seemed like everyone who would come had come, and Lily standing in their middle looked at them seriously. "Last night, around sixteen hours ago, Penelope was killed by Voldemort."

Silence followed, people just gaped wide eyed not believing what they have heard.

"He killed her for no other reason but because she was a muggleborn," Lily continued. "This shows what Voldemort really is about, and how important it is, now more than ever, that we continue to try and support each other, because together we are strong. Penelope believed in this strength of unity and gave this group and every single one of its members her everything. We shall continue this gatherings to make sure her efforts were not in vain, because if we don't she died for nothing."

Still people were just looking disbelieving at her, blinking and frowning, not comprehending what she was saying, some even looked like they were awaiting a punch line, or Penelope to jump out and scream, _"Boo!"_ But nothing like that happened, and then all hell broke loose as everyone started asking questions.

Miles and miles away across the country unknowing that he had become the latest edition to the group of friends he had hated above anything, Severus Snape was sitting couched together, miserable and quite alone.

If it weren't for the slow rasps of breath you would have mistaken him for dead, in any case he looked more dead than alive, the wet greasy hair sticking to the deceivably young face, soaked from the rain, that the rock formation above him didn't quite succeed in shielding him from. The eyes looked strangely empty on the to white sallow face, the torment he was going through only visible for those who would dare to look deep into them and being able to withstand it, which were probably only a few people.

He put his hand in his pocket and took out two objects which he looked oddly at, one was a ring with a cracked stone, destroyed from the fiend flames, the other, Severus closed his eyes, was a smashed pair of oval glasses.


	31. intermission

**AN:**

Okay, girls and dudes, time to some one o one talk, just between you and me. Yeas, this entire thing is an author note, or as I like to call it.. as I am very much a theatre person, an intermission, time to relax your brain from the main plot, take a step back, stretch your legs. though it's probably going to be as long as a regular chapter :/

That's simply because I have a lot to say, I have some explanation to do regarding posting of this fic, I have some practical information and some explanation, I have some personal talk I want to get out. And if I were allowed to just sit and write my inner thoughts it could easily end up becoming twice as long as the actual fic. But he-hey, nothings more interesting than reading about a fanfic writers life! or well.. There probably is load of more interesting things to do... Anyhow, I should just get down to business right? And as my mom always says, take the practical first and the personal second.. and all that which is really not important at the right bottom.

Okay? okay.

What we have reached now is what I would like to call end of book one, and book two will be to follow.. eventually. The fiction is from this point of, on Hiatus. Not because I am not going to finish, but because of a shit load of other reasons. It is going to be finished, but it could be an entire year before I start posting again, then the bright side is that when I do start posting again, It will hopefully be weekly in a steady flow. I have a lot of chapters on my computer, I even have the very end of the fiction. That's right, I have the end of the fiction, on my computer! the very last chapter, it is here.

Just as I had the end of book one, the chapters you have just read, on my computer since November, the reason they have not been posted is not because I didn't have them, it was due to complications in the beta reading, and I can't bring myself to post any more unbetaed chapters, which is also why the fic is set on Hiatus until all previous posted but not betaed chapters have been beteaed and completely fixed! To that.. fell free to chip in, we can make it a collab work, anyone who would like to have a go can try and take a unbeated chapter and send it to my mail, I promise that I will read it and answer to you.

I also just want the future chapters to be absolutely right before I post them, a lot of small details change as I write and then I go back and re-write, I do a lot of re-writes and a lot of planning, sometimes the pieces don't fitt to well together and I need to go back to do more re-writing, the story only gets more complicated and thus more difficult for me to write.

On top of that, there exists this really really annoying thing that is always getting in my way when I want to write fanfiction, always bugging me and always annoying the hell out of me, forcing me to get away from the computer... It's called the real world and real life.

My life is complicated and some times I don't have any time do anything, that is my own choice though as I have specifically chosen my lifestyle. I work as an entertainer, I travel around and set up drama workshops where people can try their hands at drama and theatre games.. don't fell bad if you have never heard of such things, few people have, but where-ever I got it's always a hit, my dad have done it for as long as I can remember, only he didn't travel around as I do, he actually had a school where he was hired, I'm a freelancer. Also I am a freelance writer, stand up comedian and musician, (Though my main income comes from the Drama workshops as that is by far the most popular thing I do, and it really helps that I am the only one doing it so people thinks it exciting and new... and it is exciting but not new, the concept is old.)... Now I am at it, if any of you is from an European country nearby Denmark, if your from Germany, Sweden or Britten and is one of those people planning conventions you can contact me, all I would ask for making a drama workshop to conventions is a place to sleep and be allowed to send a hat around for money like street performers would or how people in the Artist alley draw commissions.. hey, I am delivering a product, if you invite me you'll see, laughter and amusement is guaranteed! or you can have your money back.. which I don't even ask in the first place.. yet.. oh well... If you want to pay me for doing stand-up for an hour I wont say no.

Anyhow! that just means that sometimes I am really busy, the convention and summer school season is kicking in after all and that means I can be busy travelling around, just right now I am actually in the train on my way home form Sweden where I did a workshop... most of this fic is written on train rides.. Just a piece of Trivia for anyone who cares. So if you want me to be done quicker invite me to a convention where I have to spend a really long time on a train..invite me to Austria or something. (note, I do my workshops speaking English or Danish, I always sucked at German in school and I never even attempted French.)

So bottom line I guess, the fic is on Hiatus though it will be finished eventually, I guarantee that to!

Is that the practical stuff I need to cover? ... I think it is.. if there is a question don't hesitate to write it in a review, I promise to respond!

Okay.. on a more personal note.. this have been the most dreadful experience to write, It was mentally exhausting, I myself cried a few times while writing the fic, it cost me tears and blood.. and I am so proud of this damn thing.

Writing this was a process.. personally so. I changed as a writer and as a person, I went of exploring myself and this is the most personal thing I have ever written! Also.. it allowed me to re-discover Harry Potter.

I love those books, so much! they are my thing, my childhood just in the same way some people have Star Wars and some have the Lord of the rings, it's that one special thing that changed everything for me when I was ten years old, .. all the way back before the first movie even had been released, and they will continue playing a big part in my life for as long as I live. Gosh.. How many of you have been hit by the fact that it's almost over? I mean really, the last two movies keep shuffing it at us, and it.. it kind of hurts.

However, that is not going to stop us hardcore fans now is it? To a convention I was recently at, free Harry potter posters were handed out, the teaser poster to Harry potter seven and eight, on the poster is Hogwarts.. burning down to the ground and on the top is written. "It all ends here."... that's just depressing if you ask me.. My response however; I took the poster, I found a big black marker, crossed out the words. "It all." and wrote. "Nothing." so the poster hanging on my wall now spells out. "Nothing ends here." and I am doing the best I can to make this fic good, my goal with this fic, the goal since the moment I knew how much work I was going to put into it.. my goal is to re-create that magic feeling I had while reading the real books as I was ten. If I, just for a tiny nano-second have made one of you have the same excited feeling as when you originally read the original books. Then I am satisfied, I am beyond satisfied and proud.

That's another thing, this is all your fault! yeah, that's right, the only reason we even gotten this far is because you people showed an interest and apparently liked it, that gave me to boost needed to put extra much work into it, to do more.. It's all your fault that I sat crying on the train the Copenhagen as I wrote Lily and Snapes break up and that elderly lady beside me thought something was really wrong.. Seriously though, thank you people, I wouldn't have gotten this far without you! And it proves another thing to me which just makes me happy.. I have no proven to myself and the world.. If I really set my mind to it, I have it in me to write a book! isn't that great? Well, I think it is! and I can't thank you enough! As this fic have been finished at some point in the future I will most likely start to write an actual original book, and I don't believe I would have been able to do that without this fic, thank you again.

I got a lot to say about the fic, as I said, it's the most personal thing I have ever written I have taken a lot of experiences from my own life and stuffed in there. I have taken a lot from the original books and copied down. And I could probably talk about it, my characterisations why I did what I did.. why I killed Penelope (the reasons are many), what the hell Lieve is even doing in the fic, how I came up with Augustus why I wrote Sirius's and Regulus's relationship as I did, how much it surprised how strong a character Penelope became, how I suddenly went in a completely other direction than I had first planned.. nothing in the fic is something I wrote out of the blue, it's filled with conscious decisions and thought and would love to tell about it for hours... If you go to conventions in Europe and you suddenly run into a blond danish girl wearing a black bowlerhat making a theatre workshop, tap me on the shoulder and I buy you a pine of beer or something, I would love to talk to an actual reader.

I can't thank any of you enough.. thank you thank you thank you.. and.. well, If I don't suddenly run into someone by chance at a convention, then I'll be seeing you in.. around half a year I think.. that's how long I think this fic will be on Hiatus.. I think.. no way I can be sure.

So... be good, be happy. Enjoy yourself, enjoy the last movie.. or last chance as Potter fans to see something new coming out, it would seriously be cheating ourselves of something if we don't see it in cinema, it's cheating ourself of an experience, the last chance to have a big experience that have something to do with this franchise... just saying.

Lots of love and smiles. _Sofie A.k.a. Moonbird._


	32. Summer at Godric's hollow

It was June the 30th in Godric's Hollow.

The sun was shining and many birds were singing outside; the air was fresh and wonderful, though the shadow hanging over their minds kept the people inside of one of the houses from enjoying it fully. None of them was able to enjoy anything to its fullest since March.

Only a year ago James Carlus Potter couldn't have even in his wildest dreams imagined where he stood now. Well, currently he was standing in his own home, so it was not the location he had in mind, but rather the situation, not to mention the company.

March had changed everything, simply everything. For everyone involved life would never be the same again, and to add to it... James was forced to realise that what they had seen was nothing but a foretaste of what was going on out there, what Voldemort was capable of and what was yet to come. In March a Slytherin girl had come running to him for help and he had applied himself only half-heartedly, since he had distrusted her because of her house and she had been the one to end up paying for his prejudice.

He was worried about the one person, who had a year ago been his sworn enemy, the raven haired git Severus Snape. James felt guilty for saying the last. Severus had been the better man all of the last year; he had stopped being childish, chosen the side of the Light and had really changed. And if James had been willing to look he would have seen that he was not only acting differently, but looking different, coming over as a pleasant person, no matter how strange that may sound. With the exception of the last two months before March that is, where Severus had been rather brooding and sallow, but even then he hadn't been dark or evil, if anything, he had seemed to be obsessed with fighting the very thing threatening all of them.

And James had not been willing to accept that. He had been blind and selfish, and knowing that wanted to do better now. He wanted to make up for it whatever it took, for all his past faults and offences, being well aware that he owed Severus Snape his and his friends' very life.

A year ago the red haired girl sitting on the couch on the other end of the room had hated him, and only now he could see why. She had every reason to do so and to never talk to him, let alone to stay at his house for the summer holidays. But there she was sitting, with her green eyes far too distant, clearly lost in thoughts she refused to share.

Here at James' and away from school Lily had turned out to be surprisingly quiet, rather preferring to sit back and listen instead of chatting about silly things. She was shy; something James had never really noticed before, which was odd since he had been so sure to be in love with her. She was still beautiful, even more so now that he got to know her, and he genuinely respected and liked her. She was intelligent, always said what she meant, often without considering beforehand that it might get her into trouble, and most of all incredibly caring, always concerned about everyone's wellbeing.

The black haired boy she was playing chess with James would have never in a million years believed he would invite into his home one day. And that Sirius was now proudly defending their brotherhood came probably just as much of a surprise to Sirius as to himself. Had someone told him last year that Regulus Arcturus Black would be sitting on his couch right now, James would have laughed his head off. But he did actually sit there now and it was no laughing matter but a rather sad one.

Regulus had accomplished the most incredible thing of them all. He stood up in front of Voldemort with most of his Death Eaters as witness and openly defied him, hexed him even, which had made him Voldemort's personal enemy, who had seen the action as nothing short of a personal insult to be punished by death. Regulus' family consisted of Voldemort's ardent supporters, so they all knew now and Regulus, like his brother before him, had been disowned and marked a blood-traitor. According to their parents, the line of Black was now broken and dead. He had lost practically everything he had held deer within an hour and that was truly nothing to laugh at.

Lieve, their self-appointed personal gardener, the girl with the abnormally bright orange coloured hair, was someone James had not even known to exist a year ago. She seemed to have just appeared out of nowhere and though her simple way of thinking made it easy to understand her, James wouldn't say he knew her all that well. She was sitting on the floor and trimming a flower bush. James' mother was an orderly lady, who prided herself on her garden, but even she had to admit that it hadn't been as well kept before this summer, where Lieve was more often covered in dirt than not. She insisted on occupying her time with chores, saying that it took her mind off things, though it still did not prevent her from occasionally sending a worried glance out of the window.

None of these people had anywhere else to go, Lily's parents and sister were on the run far away from the country, Regulus was officially a blood-traitor, he had received a Howler from his mother only days before the school had ended, and Lieve had lost her father and probably her mother and their home as well. All of the people who had been in that mansion that night were targets now and at least among the top twenty on Voldemort's most wanted list. They had humiliated the Dark Lord and had proven themselves to be a threat. They were in this together and they were in deep.

That was why James had invited them all into his house for the summer holidays. It was the safest place he could think of, since it was already quite well protected, because his father was an Auror. For the same reason his parents did not underestimate the danger his school mates were in and had agreed to take in this many guests. The house had several wards on it and concealing charms as well, allowing only the invited to come in. This however meant it wasn't safe to leave the perimeter and was probably also why Lieve peered through the window so anxiously, looking out for possible danger.

James sighed. Sirius and Remus were still absent. The day before yesterday, only five days after the start of the holidays, had been a full moon and Remus had to leave without explaining himself to transform, and this time without the Wolfsbane Potion. They had agreed among themselves that only Sirius would accompany him, so James could stay with the people at the house. Without the potion Remus had probably spent the last two days recovering and patching himself up, like he usually needed to.

Peter was absent as well. He had returned to Hogwarts after that night, but had refused to talk to them and had kept his distance since, hiding in corners and running away each time they had tried to approach him to apologise. James could understand why, they had left him behind in a burning house after all. Peter could have died and seemed now to be scared out of his wits.

Professor Spinner had been apprehended. With six students, three muggles and a well renowned elderly wizard to testify against him there had been no escape. He had been sent to Azkaban after a short trial, had escaped however on his way to prison, something common among apprehended Death Eaters sentenced to Azkaban by the way. James' father was worried that Voldemort's followers had managed to infiltrate the prison guard. James felt cold dread running down his spine at the mere thought.

"There they are!" Lieve's voice interrupted his musings. "Ei! Remus! Paddy!" she had opened the window to wave at them before stopping abruptly. "Remus, are ye ill? Ye dinnae get attacked, did ye?" she sounded confused and beyond worried. "I told ye going was a bad idea! Ye need to be more careful!"

James could not see him from his position, but he could pretty well imagine what Remus must look like. He was ill enough with the Wolfsbane Potion, without it... well... he could look more dead than alive sometimes.

"Ye look horrendous! Like an undead wilderbeast of the swamp."

James found himself exchanging defeated looks with Lily, since they were the only two in the room knowing what was really going on, Regulus however watched them with a suspicious frown on his face.

"Spending three days alone with Padfoot will do that to you," Remus' hoarse voice responded from the other side of the window.

Regulus lifted an eyebrow at that.

"Hey, I resist that!" Sirius protested. "I'm a well of life and joy and spending time with me does only ever good!"

"Why does he look like he's been run over by a herd of them centaurs then?" Lieve asked with her head out of the window. "Ye're sure nothing's happened?"

"As I said," Remus repeated amused. "Spending three days alone with Padfoot will do that to you."

"Hey!"

Some ruffling noises could be heard from outside and Lieve's laughter. "Fine, I believe ye," she sounded almost relieved.

James caught Lily's eyes and they both shook their head smiling. "I'll go and get them before Pad drains the last of Moony's energy," he headed for the main door and stepped out into the yard, where Sirius had Remus' head under his armpit and was rubbing it cheerfully while Remus was trying to fight his way out, though undeniably smiling. "Hey, you two," he called, "don't you start on that without me!"

Sirius let go of Remus immediately and smirked at James. "Don't worry Prongs, I still love you as much."

James shook his head smiling in amusement. It was before he took a good look at Remus, who was trying to neaten himself somewhat and sobered rather quickly. It had been a while indeed since he had seen him look that bad; he was extremely pale and his hair was poor lying plastered against his head. There were visible shadows under his eyes and his overall picture betrayed soreness and fatigue. James could see Lieve's worried face hanging out of the window and sighed leading his friends inside. Only after they were out of view did he whisper, "Was it bad?"

"Nah, it was fine," Remus insisted unconvincingly and leaned himself against the wall, apparently rather uncomfortable.

Sirius lifted an eyebrow at him. "Moony, who do you take Prongs for, an idiot?"

"You're such a terrible liar, Moony," James shook his head, "don't forget I've seen you at your best as well as worst after the full moon, and that, my friend, is not one of the bests."

Remus smiled apologetically and looked away.

Sirius sighed. "The wolf was definitely not happy. It was trying to bite me at first and it took me half an hour to calm it enough to just play..." he bit his lip "...and it insisted upon hunting deer."

"You're kidding, right?" James was flabbergasted. "I mean, sometimes it did insist on a rabbit or something, but a deer?"

Remus did not meet his eyes while a deep blush was crawling up his neck.

"Oh Moony," James shook his head. "Stop feeling bad about these things, it's not your fault and we know it."

Remus just kept looking down quite ashamed.

James watched him for a moment, then his eyes widened slightly. "You didn't actually catch one, did you?"

The silence stretched for several moments, until Remus finally nodded in affirmation and closed his eyes as if unable to bear the look on his face.

"Blimey!" James ruffled his hair in bewilderment. "How did you do that? No, wait, don't answer that. It was a stupid question."

"Do you think the wolf has saved up its rage while you were on the Wolfsbane Potion?" Sirius asked thoughtfully.

Remus shrugged still getting himself together.

"It's a possibility," James conceded. "But we shouldn't forget that the more pressure and stress Remus is under, the angrier is usually the wolf." He sighed heavily. "And we all are under a lot of pressure at the moment, wouldn't you agree?"

Judging from his expression Remus was still disgusted with himself, even shuddering slightly now and then.

Sirius moved closer, so only James could hear. "And he ate it too. It was quite a shock for him to wake up head deep in the deer's stomach. He threw up a couple of times, it wasn't pretty, but I think it's the emotional side that's getting to him."

James' sympathy for Remus grew considerably at that.

Remus looked up finally. "What if you had been out there?" he asked. "What if I had gone for your throat?"

"You wouldn't have," James stated firmly.

"James, just think about it, you turn into a stag," Remus pointed out.

"Yeah, but you would've recognised me. We are a pack and you've always recognised us before."

"I've attacked Padfoot," Remus' voice was pained. "I don't think the wolf has recognised him."

"Moony, that's not the first time the wolf has attacked me," Sirius put in at once. "It has happened before, remember? It just wants to assert itself and a big dog can be a little intimidating. Prongs has been fine all those times we ran together at school, so why wouldn't he be now?"

Remus just shook his head in resignation. "I wish you'd stop glossing over the facts," he pleaded with them. "Without the Wolfsbane Potion this thing we are doing... it's a ticking bomb. Please... don't be childish! We can't afford that any longer... just look where it brought us," he finished in an almost whisper, his eyes stared unseeing into distance.

James and Sirius exchanged looks and they both agreed that they would not get anywhere with him right now.

"Come on, into the living room," James gestured for them to move. "I bet Lily's holding Lieve back by the scruff of the neck by now." Sirius snickered imagining the scene, but James only shrugged. "They all have been quite worried about you."

Remus on the other hand seemed surprised, though obviously touched and happy to hear that little piece of information. A smile flickered over his lips, before he realised what he was doing and threw his head back groaning in resignation.

"Don't get your hopes up, mate," Sirius slapped him on the back grinning wickedly. "Who's to say she was waiting for you?" he threw his head around to show off his good looks. "Maybe she was just anxious for her Paddy!"

Remus looked like he very much doubted that, but didn't answer.

It was amusing to see when they entered the living room that Lily was holding Lieve back indeed, though only barely. When they came closer however, she became shy and sat back down, despite being ready to run and hug them a second ago.

Sirius had no trouble reassuring her. "Oh, come here Carrot," he pouted with his arms spread wide.

"I still hate tha name!" Lieve answered, but happily accepted the friendly embrace, "and dinnae say one day when ye a going for three, ye sod!" She greeted Remus with a nervous smile, hesitating and careful not to seem too friendly. "Have ye tried eating more veggies? I swear ye turn all pale almost monthly... and it does come from not eating right ye know... or not getting out enough, which ye dinnae, ye pale bookworm, out of the books and out on the air as me dad would say…" she trailed off.

"Er..." Remus looked a bit lost and glanced over to his friends for help, but they all just shrugged. "I'll keep that in mind," he answered smiling unsure, "thanks."

She nodded nervously and returned to her spot on the floor wringing her hands a little. "Stop being so mighty nice to everyone," she mumbled half to herself. "It's terrible. And Remus," she did not look at him, "do me a favour and get some sun, ye really do look like death warmed over."

Remus swallowed hard. "Alright."

"Hey bro, are you winning?" Sirius turned his attention to his younger brother.

Regulus shrugged uncaringly, not bothering to look up from the chess board. He was difficult lately, mostly angry at anything and everything it seemed, becoming short tempered and easily annoyed. He kept up his manners as a house guest of course, but that didn't mean he could hold it back for long mad as he was at his situation, his past, himself and the rest of the world. Add to that the signs of insomnia and stress and he was definitely not easy to be around, and the current arrangement did not help any.

"Nah, he's losing," Lily answered for him after a moment. "Bishop to B4, check and mate," she said smiling sadly when the bishop changed its position and Regulus' king threw down its crown. "You know, I'm actually getting better at this," she commented regarding the board carefully.

Remus flopped himself on the couch beside Lily and leaned back. "Anything new?"

He meant Severus of course. The paper was lying unfolded on the table. Every day they were combing the Daily Prophet for a mentioning of Severus, or even somebody matching his description, but nothing had come up since the day he was officially reported missing. There was a brief advertisement that he was wanted by some people and that the Ministry should be contacted if anyone had information on his whereabouts, clearly a vague attempt on Voldemort's side to find him that way. That Severus was now the target number one was only too true after all.

Lily kept insisting that he wasn't dead, that she would know it if he was, and tired of arguing with her James just chose to trust her judgement despite the incredibility. It was a foolish hope to think something would show up in the paper as well, since they all knew that he was smart enough to stay hidden.

"No," Lily answered her voice sounding hollow, "just the usual."

Lily was another person difficult to be around lately. James had been embarrassed to admit that he hadn't known her at all. He had been just in love with her image, now though he saw her rather as a comrade and friend. She was a person of deep emotions, passion and genuineness, but also very silent, polite and helpful with the housework and otherwise. She really did not want to be a bother hiding how deeply hurt she really was, always trying to keep up a strong front and assuring everyone that she was fine with a polite smile. If she needed to grieve and cry she made sure to do it out of sight. James knew however that she hardly slept, Lieve had replied honestly when he had asked, the two of them shared a guest room. Despite both girls' attempts to show good spirits, especially Lieve, who did her trademark talking about everything and nothing, neither of them was able to sleep properly at night, and it was pretty obvious that Regulus must be sleeping even less.

The days went by in a strange daze with all of them locked up in the Potter house. Had this happened only a year ago they would have been constantly at each other's throats, most literally, now however that would be unimaginable, well, almost. Regulus was snapping a lot, but mostly they were coexisting quite peacefully, trying to give each other their space and to dole out comfort and support whenever necessary.

One of the good moments had been when they had decided to have a round of Quidditch in the garden. James, Remus, Sirius, Lily and Lieve had a lot of fun passing the Quaffle and had asked Regulus to join. He had been uninterested at first being moody that day, a bit into the game however, he suddenly appeared outside watching them longingly and they had insisted he play to even out the teams. He had enjoyed that very much, since he was one of those people, who loved flying above all else. One of the not so good moments on the other hand, had been when Sirius had tried to start a water fight and they all just had ended up standing around and looking lost.

"I've been thinking," Lily suddenly said. "Now that we all are gathered here anyway, there's something I want to tell you," she sighed. "And it should be before we return to Hogwarts."

James lifted an eyebrow and exchanged looks with Sirius, who seemed intrigued. "Sure," he sat down beside Lieve and Sirius on the couch facing her.

"This is confidential," Lily said seriously. "No one but us can know about it... and Sev would probably be angry with me if he found out I told you, but..." she bit her lip. "It might give us a better chance to figure out where he is."

Everyone's eyes were on Lily showing deep interest and respect. "Promise me you won't tell anyone," she insisted, "and I really mean anyone."

Regulus looked at her darkly. "Are you sure you want to trust me with such important information? Me?"

"Reg, we have already established that you've made a mistake," Lily sighed. "Sev has made a similar mistake once too. He has realised it a little over a year ago and done his best to make it good again. And I still trust him, even though he had every intention to turn dark." She propped her head up with an elbow. "What I'm trying to say is, that you've been tempted once and said no, now you're never going to be tempted again. It's like you can't break a bone in the same place twice, it's just impossible."

"I think you're putting too much faith into people," Regulus commented dryly. "I should leave," he was about to rise when Lily pulled him down again.

"I'm choosing to trust you, so just take it," she stated firmly. "Besides, you might get more out of it than anyone else in the room."

Regulus complied reluctantly looking grim.

"Alright, I need your word that you won't talk about it to anyone but the people in this room."

"And Peter," Sirius added.

They all stared at him in disbelief.

"What? He's still one of us, even if leaving him in a house burning down from Fiendfyre has scared him away," he insisted.

James sighed. "Of course he is, but he can know anything only if he comes back by himself and we'll tell him only if the situation demands it, deal?"

Lily looked unconvinced. "You three trust him, right?"

"With my life," Remus smiled weakly.

James and Sirius sitting side by side nodded.

"Very well," Lily sighed tiredly. "Sev is probably out there looking for certain objects. To destroy them is the only way to really kill Voldemort."

Lieve shuddered and Regulus hissed and covered his ears.

"Oh, stop it, you two," Lily demanded. "Sev was not afraid of saying it, it's just a name. He won't jump out to get you for it. Anyway..." she continued. "Voldemort... stop it... has tried to gain immortality by splitting his soul and putting the pieces into objects, which he hid carefully. They are called Horcruxes. If his body is killed with these objects still intact, he wouldn't really die."

"Wait, you can do that?" James asked horrified. "Literally split your soul into pieces? That doesn't sound safe."

"It sounds like the consequences are far more severe than just the physical ones," Remus commented thoughtfully. "Can you imagine how damaged his soul must be? And you say there is more than one, Lily?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Sev managed to find two at Hogwarts. That book in Spinner's office was one of them."

Sirius and James froze.

"Another mistake to add to the list?" Sirius asked from the corner of his mouth.

"It sounds like it," James muttered ashamed.

"Wait," Regulus looked up. "Siri has vanished that book, Severus never got it!"

Lily shook her head. "You can't just vanish something as powerful as a Horcrux. Penelope has ended up having it and she has delivered it directly to Sev."

"What?" Sirius looked confused and narrowed his eyes trying to recall the scene. "She must have tricked me somehow."

At the mere mentioning of her name Regulus turned gloomy, so Lily hurriedly continued. "That diary was Voldemort's old one from when he was attending Hogwarts."

They all blinked at her in shock.

"Wha?" Lieve asked. "Ye-Know-Who was at Hogwarts?"

"Of course he was," Lily rolled her eyes. "His real name is actually Tom Marvolo Riddle."

Everyone in the room started exchanging bewildered looks, only Remus seemed somewhat composed and frowned thoughtfully.

"I guess I just never have thought that far," James leaned back crossing his arms.

Sirius snickered into his hand earning himself odd looks. "Tom," he said as if that explained everything. "The Dark Lord Tom doesn't sound very threatening, does it?"

The people around him blinked in surprise. "No," James admitted. "No, it doesn't."

Regulus seemed especially confused.

"Anyway, Horcruxes," Lily continued her tale. "Sev found two that I'm aware of, the Diary and the Diadem of Ravenclaw."

"Wha?" Lieve stared at her wide eyed. "Tha diadem is a lost item. We, the students of tha house, have been looking for it forever. It's tradition you see, every Ravenclaw has tried to find it at least once."

Lily blinked. She had forgotten that Lieve was a Ravenclaw and had not even considered that they might be interested in it. "Well... yes," she said finally. "Sev believes Voldemort has put his soul pieces into artefacts belonging to the four Founders, since he's quite vain and of Founder blood himself."

Regulus and Lieve were so busy taking in the new information that they completely forgot wincing when hearing Voldemort's name, just sitting there and gaping like two fish.

They took some moments to mull everything over until Remus decided to speak up. "Lily, I'm very glad you chose to tell us that, and you're right, it gives us something to go from at least, but..." he looked her in the eyes. "I understand you got it from Severus, but where did he get it from?"

The others exchanged looks and nodded their interest. Remus' question was indeed a very good one.

"Oh," Lily looked quite uncomfortable. "Well... I can't tell you that, I'm sorry. It's something very personal and it's not my place to divulge." She blushed slightly. "I'm not even sure I understand it myself."

Remus furrowed his brows again. "At least tell me this, has it something to do with his suddenly acquired powers? He's not just a talented student, he has proven himself an extremely powerful and knowledgeable wizard, even in comparison to adults. And Wolfsbane Potion, Lily? It should take years to develop that at the very least."

"What? He was the one who invented it?" James was beyond shocked.

Remus waved him off hinting with his eyes at Lieve and Regulus.

"Sod it, Remus," Sirius grunted. "Did he invent it or not?"

Remus sighed in resignation. "Yes, he did."

James and Sirius were staring in absolute disbelief.

"Well," James rubbed his neck, "I can understand your behaviour last year a lot better now."

"Wha is the Wolfsbane Potion?" Lieve then demanded.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Remus assured her in a dismissing tone.

Lieve averted her eyes looking like a kicked puppy, "I jus' wanna know."

"Why hurt your pretty head with that?" Sirius ruffled her already messy hair, only to upset her even more.

"Actually, I want to know as well," Regulus joined in.

"It's not important, really," James insisted. "I think we should concentrate back on Horcruxes."

Lieve and Regulus glared at him annoyed at being brushed off like that.

Remus was quick to get back on track though. "Well, has it something to do with that?" he asked Lily again.

She bit her lip and looked down, but nodded slowly.

"Okay," Remus took it surprisingly lightly. "I think I get it now."

James raised an eyebrow in question, but Remus just shrugged. "She's right, Prongs, it's simply too personal and it doesn't really matter anyway."

"If you say so," James sounded unconvinced.

However, he didn't say anything further and just leaned back thinking quietly.

"Merlin forbid," Lily smiled at him with a sad look in her eyes.

"What?" James looked up confused.

"You must have grown up or something," she pointed out to him. "A year ago you would have pursued this to the end."

"Well, both you and Moony are saying it isn't worth it, so why would I bother?" he asked sincerely.

"Merlin, she's right!" Sirius wrinkled his noise in disgust. "You've turned reasonable! Why'd you do such a thing to me?"

James rolled his eyes and smirked. "I can assure you I'll always be ready to pull one on you, Pads, no matter the circumstances."

"Ah, that's my man," Sirius punched him in the shoulder.

"Psst," Lieve whispered into James' ear. "Should we swap his shampoo with tha pink potion tonight?"

"Absolutely," James nodded.

Regulus however had some information of his own to add. "Last March..." he hesitated for a moment "...when I was alone with Bella she has boasted to me that she was the Dark Lord's favourite and..." he swallowed "...she has said something about being entrusted with a great responsibility... an object the Dark Lord wouldn't just give to anyone."

"That does indeed sound suspicious," Remus nodded. "You think it's worth to look into?"

"I do," Regulus stated firmly. "However..."

"And exactly there lies the problem," Sirius narrowed his eyes looking uncharacteristically grim. "No way in hell you are going to go snooping for information."

"I'm not totally brain-dead," Regulus snorted.

Lily shook her head. "Of course you're not, but it does present us with a bit of a problem, doesn't it?"

"I guess," Regulus sighed.

"And we can't just go barge into that mansion without a plan, remember what had happened the last time," James crossed his arms regarding them all sternly.

"You really don't have to remind us," Lily sounded exhausted. "Although, it does leave us with a lot to think about and... well, better to do something than nothing, right?"

James stared at her in disbelief and then opened his mouth to continue the discussion for another half an hour.

* * *

_Authors note; _

_HAH! an Update! I bet several of you people didn't even believe in it! HAHA! You loose people! You loose! and of cause it does not stop here! this fic is officially off the Hiatus and there is at least fifteen new chapters ready to be uploaded, all a mattering of how quick they are going to be betead. _

_That being said.. honestly, thank you so much for sticking around, thank you to all of the new comers which came while the fic was on hiatus and still enjoyed and left a note of praise, that truly brightened my days. _

_That this fic turned out to be the most popular thing I have done at the net, came as such a big surprise for me, and I am grateful, truly I am. The mere knowledge that I can write is priceless. (though.. if any-one have time.. to subscribe my youtube channel and spread the word of upcoming videos would be, deeply, and I mean deeply appreciated too.. sorry, but hey, no-one but me is going to promote me.)  
_

_Of cause I can't guarantee second part is nearly as good as the first, I can only cross my fingers, and even though it's a bit slow in the beginning, I ask of you to bear with me, please. _

_All of my love and appreciation to all of you, Sofie aka Moonbird._


	33. The little warrior

The tattered clothes she had on were in reality shining armour and underneath she wore flowing, dark blue wizards' robes, which let her appear tall and magical. The wooden stick in her hand was actually a big, sharp sword, so sharp it could cut through stone, and the shorter one in her pocket was her own wand, and she was a Master with it! She could cast fire with it and levitate the largest of objects out of her way, or just blow them up if they wouldn't yield! She was unstoppable! She was Evelyn Clearwater, the Warrior Princess! Feared by her enemies and admired by her friends.

And she had a comrade, a tall, dark shadow that always kept an eye on her back. He was a great warrior too, almost as great as her, though it was important to note that it was only almost. This very moment she and her comrade were hunting goblins. She would bring the largest goblin head in the world to the king and make the prince soil his pants in fear at the mere sight of it. The head belonged to an enormous goblin, as big as a mountain he was, their troll king, one of the many generals of the man in the moon. She had to take down his minions one by one, before that man sitting so proudly on his silvery throne and keeping a hold on her could be defeated.

"HIYA!" Evelyn swung her sword in a wide arch. "Take that, troll king! I'm not afraid of you!" she made a series of impressive slashes in the air. "Take that, and that!" She attacked and parried, before tripping over her own feet and landing face first in the moss covering the forest ground, dropping her stick... sword... in the process. She scrambled back up and faced her enemy holding her head high. "Don't think you can get me down that easily, troll king!" She drew her... wand. "EXPLOIDING HEX!" she jumped to the side rolling around and grabbing her sword in one fluid motion. "Not so imposing now, are you, troll king?" she stood up smirking. She knew she was tall and impressive, a beautiful sight to behold, her armour shining and her sword pointed at the whimpering troll king. "What are you saying?" Evelyn tilted her head to the side. "Begging for mercy, are you? Yes, I'm rather dangerous you see," and she lowered her sword. "No one can defeat me and if you want to keep your precious head you better run! Run or I'll use it to scare the prince!"

Suddenly she heard noised around her, real noises this time, the troll king was gone. There was a resounding crash behind her, then the sound of running feet. Evelyn dropped her stick in shock. "Who's there?" she asked whirling around. She could feel someone close by, which was strange, since the forest around the shed where she and her mother lived was pretty secluded, no one came by, ever.

"Mum," Evelyn called out and bit her lip in guilt. She had sneaked out without asking again, her mother was so worried and full of tears when that happened, and she hated to see her like that. It seemed to happen constantly though, especially around... she sighed... the full moon. "Mum," she called again, but got no response. It had to be her mother though, who else would be out there? Why wasn't she answering? It was too quiet.

The bushes to her left rustled and divided to let through a strange man and Evelyn jerked around and took a step back, knowing by instinct that the man was dangerous and wanted her harm. He was hunched and filthy, his greasy hair fell down his face and shoulders in knotted lumps, his hands were gnarled and had long yellowish nails, looking like claws. He stank horribly of sweat, dirt and raw meat. His yellow teeth were bared in a perverted grin and his eyes were black with amber pupils. "No, I'm not your mum," he simpered regarding her hungrily. "But in a certain way I suppose, one could call me your father."

Evelyn's face contorted in disgust. "You are lying! My dad was tall, thin and always clean, besides, you look nothing like him!"

"I definitely helped to make you the way you are," the man grinned wider. "That at least must make me a second father of sorts, daughter of mine."

"Who are you?" Evelyn raised her smaller stick without thinking, then realised that it was just a stick and dropped it, assuming a fighting stance with her small fists at the ready.

"Oh, a temper," the man raised an eyebrow, "and not the least bit afraid. I like that! How fortunate, it's so hard to tell how my children will turn out in the end."

"Who are you?" Evelyn repeated impatiently. "What have you to do with me?"

The man tilted his head. "I have almost everything to do with you," he informed her sounding disgustingly happy. "I have come to collect you, to take you home, where you belong."

Evelyn was confused. "I am home," she pointed out. "And my mum is probably worried. She always is."

"No, you aren't," the man shook his head. "This is not a home but a prison to keep you away from the world that will never accept you. I have come to set you free."

"What if I don't want to be set free?" Evelyn took another step back. "My mum needs me. I want to stay with her."

In three large steps the man was in front of Evelyn and grabbed her firmly by the shoulder. "Your mother doesn't need you, she wants to get rid of you! Why do you think you're all the way out here? Because she doesn't want anyone to see her taking care of you."

"You're lying!" Evelyn exclaimed unimpressed. Merlin, this was getting really scary. The dark warrior, think of him, he'll look out for you and mum. "Let me go! I want to see my mum!" she struggled against the filthy hand holding her. Warrior, where are you? I could really use some help!

"You may not see it now, but it's for your own good," the disgusting man sneered.

What would the warrior say if she gave in? He would probably be a tad disappointed. "NO!" Evelyn yelled and stomped on the man's foot so hard he was forced to let go.

"You little brat," he hissed while she ran towards the small house where she lived.

"Mum! Mum!" she called full of worry. "Mum, where are you?"

"Evelyn!" her mother's voice finally responded when the house came into view. "Evelyn, run! Don't come back!"

"What?" Evelyn halted, but only for a moment and started running towards the house again. "Mum, where are you?" If her mother was scared or crying, it meant she needed her. Her mother always tried to hide it, but Evelyn knew it would only go away when she gave her a hug and held her. Then she would tell her about the warrior and how great a warrior she herself was and her mother would smile again, at least for a while. Evelyn ran through the door and had to stop abruptly at the sight meeting her. More dirty, smelly people were there, holding her mother in a tight grip.

"Evelyn, I told you to run away!" her mother snapped angrily, though Evelyn could tell she was beyond afraid.

"Leave her alone!" Evelyn shouted fiercely and ran straight towards them fully intending to claw and bite her way through them. "I'm warning you!" She had expected them to draw back in fear. People usually did, even when her mother was tugging her behind herself to hide her. Evelyn supposed she was just that impressive a sight. But these people did not, they just grinned watching her coming at them.

"I SAID, LEAVE HER ALONE!" Evelyn yelled frustrated, before somebody just grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder much to her annoyance. "Hey! Let me down, let me down!" she started hammering her fists against the person's back, but obviously to not much effect. "I'm warning you! I'm a warrior!"

"Oh, good you got her," the first man sneered entering the room. "I must say, when she learns her priorities I see quite the beast in her."

The others laughed while Evelyn continued hitting the man holding her. "Let me go!"

"Please, let her go!" her mother begged from where she was standing. "Greyback, haven't you done enough damage already?" she addressed the disgusting man with tears in her eyes. Evelyn really hated to see them there.

"I'm not trying to damage her," the man answered flatly. "I just want to show her the truth."

"Evelyn, don't listen to that man," her mother suddenly insisted. "Remember all the monsters you were fighting? He's one of them, but you are not, no matter what he'll tell you, you're not!"

"Shut your mouth, woman!" a black man beside her yelled and slapped her over the face. "You're calling us monsters?"

Her mother looked back at the man who had hit her sadly, but sternly. "No, not you, only him," she nodded at the Greyback man.

"Shut it!" Greyback snarled and turned to the others. "We got what we came for, let's go. We don't want another Lupin accident. The kid really thinks he's accepted by the world."

"No! Mum!" Evelyn shouted struggling harder. "Mum, don't cry! I'll be fine! Sev will come and find me. He always looks over us, I know he does!"

"Please," her mother looked at the man who had slapped her. "Do what you want with me, but take care of my daughter!"

"Let me go, let me go!" Evelyn started screaming in earnest. "LET ME GO!"

"For Merlin's sake, shut the kid up!" Greyback grimaced annoyed. "For someone so small she sure makes a lot of noise."

"I'm not small, I'm big!" Evelyn retorted. "And if you don't let me go, I'll make you pay!"

"Somnus," somebody said.

Suddenly, Evelyn felt strangely dizzy. She tried to shake it off, but her eyes just wouldn't stop growing heavy. The world around her darkened and the last thing she heard before everything went black was her mother's voice.

"EVELYN, ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU! NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!"

And the voice was gone, along with everything else.

* * *

_AN; Urh.. this is a rather late added note.. added because I now had a couple of reviews where people said that.. they don't get this chapter. _

_So urhm.. to avoid even more confusion I guess I'll just try to explain it.. and no, I didn't not upload a wrong chapter by mistake._

_This chapter is from the perspective of Evelyn, she was introduced way back early on in the fic in the chapter called. "The Man in the moon." and later in the christmas chapter, she send Severus a gift in the form of a home-made doggie teddy-bear. awww... So if you paid attention you all ready know her...  
_

_We do see this chapter from her point of view, and she is just a child with very large imagination.. it's the only chapter from her point of view, and the only chapter of its kind, so don't worry, also it's the shortest chapter in the entire fic... I erh.. I just wanted to include Evelyn again and go some-where with her.. cause, I really like her. All though I fell so bad about treating her this badly.. I fell bad about treating all of my characters as horrible as I do :/_


	34. How boys are

It was night-time at Godric's Hollow. Lily lay in the guest room bed and stared at the ceiling watching the rays of the crescent moon, which was getting narrower with each passing day. Out of the corner of her eye she was able to have a glimpse of the mattress on the floor and Lieve lying on it, doing the very same thing. Originally, Lily had wanted them to take turns on the bed, but once Lieve had settled in she had insisted that she didn't want to move again, there was too little point in it. Lily sighed sounding resigned. "Oak tree," she uttered randomly.

"Wand," Lieve responded.

"Unicorn hair," Lily went along.

"Flying horse."

"Thestral."

It was a game Lily and Lieve had started playing to escape the oppressive silence of the night, just saying random words and responding with associated ones, until they either grew tired or found a subject to talk. Often it ended in Lieve talking and Lily listening. Lily honesty did not mind that arrangement, since she herself had always found it difficult to come up with something. She had never been the talking type, really, Lieve on the other hand could chatter about so much and being actually good at it, holding the listener's attention and keeping a steady rhythm. It was a relief to be rescued from the dark thoughts Lily would have succumbed to otherwise. And now Lieve's voice cut through the gloom once again to respond to her word challenge.

"Death."

They both grew silent. Lily closed her eyes.

_It was the Thursday after Penelope's death, thought the students could not really grasp it, especially the Phoenix Fighters. The meeting room was flooded with lit candles and everyone was looking at the Marauders with eyes begging for explanation. _

"_I still don't understand," the thirteen-year-old Katherine choke out. "Why did she die?"_

"_She was a muggleborn," Regulus told them solemnly._

_Lily had already said that, but it seemed like it had yet to sink in. _

"_She was a mudblood?" Jennifer Jugson wrinkled her nose._

"_We don't use that word here," Regulus sneered. "There's nothing wrong with being muggleborn."_

"_I happen to be a muggleborn too," Lily crossed her arms, "if someone had missed that."_

_Jugson gaped at her. "I don't believe it!"_

"_You have a problem?" Regulus snarled. "Then spit it out!"_

"_How could you have tricked me like that?" she snapped aghast. "Filthy mudbloods, I'm out of here!"_

"_You stupid bitch!" Regulus exploded._

"_Regulus, stop it!" Lily held him back, even though her own anger was flaring. She felt a great desire to punch Jugson in the face and the only thing deterring her was the thought of what Penelope would have said. "It's not worth it."_

_Katherine was still looking at them completely lost. "I don't get it," she whispered. "Is she really dead? He killed her just because she was a muggleborn? But... she was... she was just Pen!" Her eyes were wide with confusion. "What kind of sense does that make?"_

"_And that's exactly the point," Regulus hissed furiously. "It doesn't make any sense! That's what Severus was trying to tell us all along!" He threw his schoolbag into the nearest corner with an angry force startling several people. "The Dark Lord is walking around killing muggleborns, people like Pen, and for what? Only because they are muggleborns!"_

"_He's evil," Lily stated firmly, her eyes uncharacteristically hard._

"_It's all stupid!" Regulus continued to rage. "Everything the old farts at home had made us believe! Everything they were shovelling down our throats! Completely and utterly stupid! And if I haven't figured that out, I'd have continued down the same road! I'd have become one of them!" Regulus was pacing lost in his own world full of bitterness and pain, giving a damn about the tears in his eyes._

_Sirius shifted feeling with him, but stayed where he was, knowing full well that there was nothing he could do to help, especially not in front of everyone._

"_What about Severus, where is he?" Diane Diggory asked. "He's not dead as well, is he?" her voice trembled slightly. "Why isn't he here?"_

"_He's out there," Lily sighed more exhausted and anxious than ever, "fighting to protect us all." She closed her eyes when her throat constricted at the thought of him out there all alone. It felt like a thousand blades through her stomach._

Lily opened her eyes again and whispered, "Life."

_Last December she and Sev were taking a walk in the snow._

"_Lily, it's freezing cold," Sev grumbled rubbing his hands. "Honestly, you do get the oddest ideas!"_

"_Well, it's pretty hard to have my boyfriend to myself when we are inside," she pouted. "You've become quite popular to be around lately."_

_Sev stared at her blankly. "Excuse me?"_

_Lily just could not help laughing. He looked so clueless with those confused pitch-black eyes, it was beyond adorable! The cold had brought some colour to his cheeks... Merlin, she had really fallen in love with this man before her! He did look better than he used to, a lot actually, happiness was becoming to people it seemed. There was an air of mystery around him that only she could penetrate, and she did so with ease. She could wrap him around her little finger whenever she wanted, it was a delight to know that he was all hers._

"_I said," she grinned, "that I want some time alone with my boyfriend," and she kissed him on lips to be rewarded with that dazed look in his eyes only she was able to put there. The man was always so sharp and focused beyond belief that it was a great pleasure to see him in that dreamy state. To see him happy made her happy in return._

"_I think I can live with that," he said with a goofy smile, making her giggle._

"_You'd better," she thumped him playfully with a wide smile. He really was the most adorable thing she had ever seen! She took his hand and wrapped the other around his shoulder._

"_What are you doing?" Sev asked astounded._

"_Dancing," Lily grinned. "What does it look like?"_

"_Er, I don't think..." he had to shut up when she gave him another kiss. "You're impossible," he smiled defeated and whirled her around to catch her and elegantly dip her, before returning to the starting position._

"_Hey, you've made me believe that you can't dance!" Lily was amazed. _

"_Well, you must pick up something in almost forty years of life," he shrugged confidently leading her in the lightly falling snow._

"_Something..." Lily had no chance to finish her sentence when Severus' lips descended on hers. It was incredible that he had finally gathered the guts to do that, but it made her very happy. She had been working hard towards making him kiss her on his own accord after all, something he would do only on the forehead until now._

"_Cheat," she grinned when he pulled back._

"_You've started it," he chuckled. "And you should know by now how much I want you."_

_Lily could not help but crow inside. "I know."_

"Morning," Lieve's voice responded.

"Evening," Lily whispered barely audible.

"Night-time."

"Misery."

_Everyday, every bloody single day she was forced to watch him wallowing in his own misery. It was unbearable! Why was he insisting upon doing that to himself? What was the point? Had they not been happy when they were together? He was just as dark and grim as he had been before, only colder._

"_Sev," she pleaded with him during their Potions class._

_He didn't even turn around._

"_Sev, look at me!"_

_Again, he didn't react at all. She walked around him placing herself only inches away from his now gaunt face. It didn't have to be like that! He could be very handsome... he was very handsome, even now with his face reverted to a sullen expression and his eyes hard as steel. "SEV, TALK TO ME!" she shouted desperately._

_His black eyes narrowed, while his lips formed a thin line. "Miss Evans," he sneered. "I'm at a crucial stage of my brewing, kindly allow me to concentrate." And then he had the audacity to turn his back on her._

_Her anger flaring Lily did something very childish. She hit the small cauldron so hard it flew across the room spilling the potion all over the place. "Woops, sorry," she said, though her tone clearly indicated that she didn't mean it. "Guess the stage isn't so crucial anymore."_

_Severus graced her only with a short glance before starting to clean up without a word._

"_Sev," she demanded stubbornly. "Look at me, dammit!"_

_But he was just as stubborn and continued cleaning._

"_I said, look at me!" she grabbed his shoulders and forced him to face her._

_He sneered scowling darkly. "Don't touch me," the poisonous voice would have scared even the strongest of men, but not Lily it seemed._

"_Or you're going to do what? Hex me?" she was unimpressed. "Spare your empty threats, Sev, I'm not afraid of you!"_

_Just for a moment his hard eyes softened a bit showing defeat, only to turn ice cold again when he forcefully pulled out of her grasp._

"_Sev, listen to me, you can't just go on like that! Look at yourself," she gestured at the pitiful figure before her that could be magnificent if it only chose to. "You're going to break if you keep doing this," she banged her fist on the table. "Look at me, COWARD!"_

_Severus whirled around to yell right back into her face, his expression contorted in rage, "SHUT UP!" His voice was filled with raw emotion ringing in her ears, since they were only inches apart, and just for a moment Lily was genuinely scared. "Just shut up and leave me alone!" He yelled desperately. Then he stopped suddenly taking deep staggering breaths, his black eyes were staring at her in shock, until he swallowed and turned away._

"_Sev," Lily pleaded with his back, fighting the tears in her eyes. "Who do you think you're fooling? Not me, I can tell you that much. I was always able to see right through you."_

_But he didn't respond._

"Heartache," was Lieve's answer.

"Red wine."

"Chocolate."

"Potions."

"Books."

"Sev."

Lieve shifted and turned to look at her.

Lily shrugged. "Men, can't live with them, can't live without them," she grumbled resigned.

"I think that saying's about women," Lieve pointed out amused. "We are supposed to be the cause of all of them men misery ye know. Everything's apparently out fault."

"It's definitely them who are the stupid ones," Lily insisted. "The lot."

"Perhaps... Ney, ye're right. They are dim..." Lieve trailed off. "Though on a day to day basis they do make more sense than women... I mean I'm a girl, so I should know how it works, but I dinnae, so I'm nit sure they're all like that. It honestly confuses the heck out of me."

Lily shook her head. It was true, Lieve could relate much better to the boys than the girls, from her simple, straightforward way of talking to her often messy and dirt covered state, as well as the fondness of all things practical and simple. No wonder she had a difficult time understanding other girls, but then again, they had both just agreed that neither did understand men anyway.

"They are, believe me," Lily assured her. "Every single one of them." She sighed exhausted, but couldn't help the smile appearing on her lips. "You really like him, don't you?"

Lieve smiled in return colouring somewhat, even though it wasn't visible in the gloom surrounding them. "Talking about tha' Remus thing again, ain't we? Well, if ye promise to keep it to yerself... I'd do anything so the lad could be happy and safe, mostly happy. He's too kind to be allowed to be miserable, kind to the core he is," she sighed heavily and frowned. "And tha' sucks, because no matter what ye do he'll be nice about it. I mean trash his things and he'll still be nice, wha' would it take for him to be angry for once?" she shook her head. "These guys, they helped me when I had nowhere else to go. I haven't done anything to deserve their consideration, but they took me in anyway and it's me honour to stand with them in whatever way I can. I just wish I knew what to do to make ye folks alright. Ye all helped me so much and I'm beyond useless!"

"I feel with you," Lily confessed. "I wish I knew what to do to make things better as well."

"_Ouch, ow..!" Sev turned around to glare at her in annoyance. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"_

"_Your hair is tangled again," Lily shrugged continuing to work on it with her hairbrush. They were sitting together in the library. It was late October and the first signs of winter were palpable in the air, here inside however it was cosy and warm, and she was definitely in a teasing mood, tired of watching him brood over his scrolls and books. "If you'd brush it yourself every morning, you wouldn't have this problem," she shook her brush at him scolding playfully. "That's what happens when you have thick hair and keep it shoulder length. Though I like it that way," she mused fingering it. "It's so you."_

"_It wasn't that thick only half a year ago," he grumbled under his breath._

"_Stress," Lily commented a bit dejected, remembering suddenly what he would be going through now if they hadn't reconciled and she still had only a vague idea about the horrors of his previous life. "We'll have to make sure it doesn't happen again."_

"_Stop it!" Sev tried to escape her hairbrush by almost disappearing under the table. "I promise I'll brush it in the evening. And tomorrow," he added sitting up again and watching her apprehensively, "and everyday for the rest of my life, if you just leave it alone for now!"_

"_I'm not buying it," Lily smirked. "You'll just forget it yet again."_

_He stared at her blankly and Lily chuckled. She was probably the only person on earth who could pull stunts like that on him without being hexed into the next century. She took advantage of his stupor and managed to get hold of his smooth, though tangled raven hair again. The strands that weren't knotted felt so soft against her fingers._

"_Infernal woman," Severus scoffed annoyed._

"_Stubborn donkey," Lily retorted happily. She had managed to distract him from whatever dark paths his mind had been wandering mere moments ago. "There, all done," she drew her hand through his hair. "It feels so nice!"_

_Turning his head to look her in the eyes he took her hand and removed it from himself obviously uncomfortable. "Please, don't do that again," he seemed to be sincere, almost desperate._

_Lily lifted a puzzled eyebrow. "Won't make any promises," she tried to joke._

"_Please."_

_Lily looked into his dark, pained eyes and saw something akin to fear in them. She felt her throat tighten and fought hard against the urge to slip her hand into his hair again, maybe even nuzzle it a bit, embrace him and kiss him on the forehead. She ended up blushing and smiling apologetically for considering such things when he obviously wasn't able to bare them._

"_If you wish," she sighed and returned to her book breaking the moment. Severus was still pretty tense though, looking down on his work with firmly crossed arms._

"_Idiot," Lily mumbled under her breath, so low that it wouldn't be surprising if Severus didn't hear her. One second longer and she would have kissed him and not just on the forehead. She continued to observe him, while he was reading and hiding his distinct, yet foreign features behind his black hair. A warm feeling spread through her chest when she suddenly realised something, he was the most adorable person on earth and he was definitely handsome. She had seen him like that since they were how old, nine? No, more likely ten, though she became aware of that only now, that very moment. This was not the same Sev she had grown up with, yet partly he still was and she liked this new version a lot._

_He was a man made of so many different compounds that it had turned him into something truly unique, which she couldn't help but love. She adored his flaws and his magnificence in equal measure, even though she didn't understand them fully. He was so confident, proud, and independent, and yet so uncertain, humble and needy, so complex and so simple at the same time. And he had chosen her, chosen her over everything else, not to mention that he had chosen to do the right thing, he was a good man, she knew that now. She could feel her heartbeat picking up rate and a blush creeping up her neck. She wanted him! She wanted to embrace him, kiss him and hold him tight. Smirking mischievously she looked down at her own book, she wanted him and she would get him, all she needed was the right moment. And then she would never let go. Ever!_

It was early in the morning. Very early actually, but just as it was the case with so many other people in the house, Remus couldn't sleep. It had been a couple of days since the full moon and it still was fresh in his mind, the picture of him ripping into the deer, blood was covering his head and fur while the warm insides welled forth all around him. He felt horribly nauseous whenever it appeared before his eyes, and to try and get away from that he had escaped to the kitchen.

Regulus' eyes had followed him when he had left their room. He doubted Regulus had slept at all that night. They were rooming together, since it would have been simply too much for the boy to sleep with Sirius or even James. He was guilt-ridden to no bound. Remus could well imagine Regulus throwing himself willingly into death if he believed it would somehow redeem him... just like Severus. Remus had never consciously tried to commit a crime or do something self-serving, which was setting him apart from the other two boys despite their similarities, but he felt with them. He was a cursed man as well and therefore was feeling unclean and probably always would. If there were any way he could redeem himself, he would do it, even though he had no idea how that would work.

Remus was splashing water into his face in a futile attempt to cleanse himself, but of course it didn't help. Sighing resigned he sat down at the kitchen table and buried his face in his hands, rubbing it and groaning in frustration that just needed to get out. He was interrupted by approaching footsteps sounding like bare feet against the wooden floor, very light feet too.

"Oh!"

Remus peered through his fingers and saw Lieve standing in the doorway silhouetted against the pale morning light. She was indeed barefoot, standing there in a long linen nightshirt, long enough to go for a dress. Her bright hair was now a bit over shoulder length and pocking in all directions. Remus couldn't help wondering whose hair was more unruly, hers or James'. Her round face was no longer as soft as it had been the first time they had met, nor were her sky blue eyes lighting her pale features for that matter.

"I wa' just..." she shifted unsure and looked down at her feet. "I just wanna some water..." She lingered in the doorway for a moment, before moving over to the kitchen counter with a sudden jerk. She fumbled with a glass nearly dropping it a couple of times and filled it with water, before slinking out eyes down and face burning in embarrassment.

Remus had tried not to watch her, but had failed miserably and was feeling all the more guilty for it. She had disappeared in the doorway, only to reappear mere seconds later. "Um, Remus..." she said hesitantly.

Remus lifted an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Nothing," Lieve disappeared once more, only to reappear again. "Uh, well, there wa' something..." But then she shook her head. "Nay, doesn' matter."

Remus sighed tiredly. "Well, clearly it does," he felt his throat constrict, while the guilt found its way to his stomach.

"Well," Lieve shifted from one foot to another. "Um, I guess ye' know well tha' I like ye'," she said blushing deeply. "James and Paddy haven't been exactly quiet abou' it." Her blush became even deeper. "And I'm so tired of tha'! I dinnae know how to do tha' dancing around thing, I dinnae know how anyone does it! I like ye' and if ye' dinnae like me, then it dinnae work and end of business! So please, stop treating me like a ticking bomb and stop being sorry for me when it's me own fault! I mistook the kindness you'll give to anyone in need, I dinnae got tha' ye're always like that, I mistook tha' for ye know, something else, and I'm sorry. But please, stop doing tha'!"

Remus' throat tightened even more at that and he tried to swallow, but the lump was too stubborn.

"I'd never have pursued it tha' much if ye' weren't so kind," Lieve told him. "I dinnae want to distress ye' more, really, I just hope," she bit her lip, "tha' we can still be friends, and I promise I won't try anything." She looked him in the eyes. "I cannae do this thing of not being straight, it's hurting me already aching head," she pressed a hand against her forehead. "I suppose tha' is one of the drawbacks of being a troll like me," she offered riling up her messy hair even more.

Remus looked at her defeated feeling the guilt inside increase tenfold. She was really quite adorable standing there shifting on her feet. He had to fight the urge to just hug her and call her duckling. "Of course we can still be friends, and you're not a..." he shook his head trying to avoid that word. "You're very pretty, and you're very smart in your own way." He smirked slightly. "Graceful can be differed of course, but that's not necessarily a bad thing." He sighed. "Lieve, one day you'll find someone who will love you like you deserve to be loved. I know it for sure, because there's really a lot to love."

Lieve's face was even redder than her hair. She looked down, though her mouth was twitching in a sheepish smile, before becoming an uncertain line. "Ye' say tha'," she uttered softly, "and yet ye' cannae even..." she stopped letting the half finished sentence hang in the air. "But as people say bad luck in love means good luck in games, only I don't play anything. Though I suppose we can use any luck just as it is," she shrugged. "And they also say tha' there's lots of fish in the sea. A friendship that lasts a lifetime is worth a thousand romances." She swallowed finally having run out of anything to say. An unusual occurrence, since she was very good at talking, which was making the silence even more awkward.

Remus looked away and out of the window biting his lip almost painfully. The memory of that deer and its warm blood on his face had entered his mind again and his stomach started to turn in disgust. "Trust me, it has nothing to do with you."

"If ye're gonna say it's not ye' it's me, I'm gonna smack ye' good," Lieve threatened looking at him annoyed. "That's what everyone says to them people they wanna avoid. If ye' wanna nothing to do with me then just say it out straight, man! Remus, please, be just straight for once! Ye're a terrible liar, ye' know that? And yet that's all ye' ever do! Say what ye' mean to me face for once," Lieve demanded bitterly, which quite honestly took Remus by surprise. He had never seen her so bitter before, even though it had vanished as quickly as it had come when she blushed and looked down to the floor.

Remus was about to open his mouth to say something, but had to close it again. He had been cornered, well and thoroughly, so he just continued to stare out of the window.

Moving his eyes only to get a glimpse of her face he saw that she was definitely hurt and close to tears. Merlin, why couldn't he simply find something appropriate to say? His mind was completely blank. She seemed to have run out of words as well, which couldn't be a good sign. Thankfully though, it wasn't long before she had snapped out of it and frowned instead. "Ye' know what? Don't tell me anything, leave me me silly beliefs," she stated suddenly. "Oh, and now tha' I'm at it, I will also like to believe tha' I'm a Quidditch star."

Remus couldn't help but smile. This was what she always did and somehow she managed to get through to him every time. "Is there more?"

"Aye, I'm swimming in gold too and I own a pet dragon called Ninnie, and I've won the Witch Weekly award for the prettiest face in the last twenty years," she crossed her arms posing proudly, "which is quite good considering tha' I'm only sixteen."

"Indeed," Remus was struggling to keep his face straight.

"Oh look, there's Mona!" Lieve brightened looking past him.

Remus turned in that direction and saw the familiar owl tapping at the window.

Lieve hastened to let the owl in. "Hey, sweetie," she smiled softly when it landed on her arm and started nudging its head against her shoulder to be petted as usual. The owl had proven herself to be demanding in that respect.

"Wha' have ye' here?" Lieve fumbled with the letters around Mona's leg. "Something for Lily?" Another owl burst suddenly through the open window, a large brown one this time. "Oh, I see. It's just them Hogwarts letters," she told Remus looking a tad disappointed.

"Isn't that good?" Remus asked smirking. "The moment of truth, Lieve, your O.W.L. results!"

Lieve went through the letters until she found the one with her name on it and put the others on the table.

"Paddy's gonna kill me if it says wha' I think it will," Lieve sighed and sat down with the envelope in her hand. "That's unless he himself drops dead when he realises tha' his efforts were all for the dogs," she mused. "He hates working, so working for nothing must be like killing him."

"Best get it over with then, wouldn't you say?" Remus was still smirking. "Come on, I want to see how well you've done."

Nervously, she opened the envelope and took out the letter, the book list and finally the results. Her eyes widened when she looked over them. "Sweet pot of gold!" She lost some colour in her cheeks frantically double and triple checking what she saw.

Remus lifted an eyebrow. "That bad? Let me have a look."

She handed the parchment over with a slightly trembling hand.

_Astronomy: A_

_Care of Magical Creatures: O_

_Charms: A_

_Defence Against the Dark Arts: E_

_Herbology: O_

_History of Magic: A_

_Potions: A_

_Transfiguration: E_

_Divination: P_

Remus looked up frowning in confusion. "Lieve, I don't see why you're so upset. These grades are good, two O's? That's actually very good!"

"And that's just it!" Lieve exclaimed. "It cannae be real, it must be some mistake! Ye' know, it's a miracle none of them professors ever came after me to whack me with the board for having to sit through me messy essays."

Again, Remus couldn't help but smile, but continued to argue his point. "Well, yes, but you probably know more about magical creatures and herbology than anyone I know, with the exception of Hagrid perhaps, though I can't be sure there. And I think every Phoenix Fighter who took the O.W.L.'s last year got at least an E in Defence. You've put very much effort into them, so it's really not that strange."

"Ye' don't get to ride a flying horse at the age of five and not know something about magical creatures, neither is it possible to have a near-death experience with a pretty pink flower at the age of three and not reading up on any dangerous plants," Lieve stated in her usual manner of telling things in the most exiting way possible, "but tha' would make me a practical lass, not a scholar. I'm terrible at school! The only reason for Slughorn to favour me would be tha' I've become a master at scrubbing cauldrons... well, until ye' guys started helping me out, but still... and I've never been all tha' good at the Phoenix Fighters."

"You were measuring yourself on Severus, weren't you?" Remus smiled sadly. "You shouldn't have, he's a league of his own, believe me."

"I suppose..." Lieve conceded. "But how did I get an A in Charms? And Transfiguration, it's me worst subject," she grimaced. "It was me who somehow turned tha' rabbit into a Gordon blue cheese. Everyone noticed, because of the stench. Phew, I've talked to trolls who smelled like perfume in comparison!"

"I'm still not surprised," Remus insisted. "You've worked very hard with Sirius and James and they're experts in these subjects, Transfiguration especially," he smiled at her. "You're a lot smarter than you think, all you need is just a bit more confidence. If you decide to put real effort into something, you can do almost anything," he leaned back crossing his arms. "James and Sirius had exactly the same problems when they took their O.W.L.'s, only they were confident enough not to let it bother them." He rolled his eyes. "It's a good thing they've decided to become Aurors, it gave them reason to study. They would've likely failed otherwise."

"Don't ye' wanna be an Auror?" Lieve asked honestly curious. "I mean if Paddy and James are gonna to apply?"

"Me? No," Remus chuckled. "Honestly, it's not really something for me."

"Nay, I cannae see you there either," Lieve admitted. "Any plans?"

Remus shrugged. "Just work," he sighed defeated. "That would be enough to make me happy."

Lieve gaped at him. "But ye're so smart, ye' should have big plans!" she spread her arms wide to show just how big. "Ye' can become anything ye' want, I tell ye'! I see it before me eye, Mr. Remus Lupin , the Minister of Magic! Nay, ye're too nice to become Minister. I got it! Remus Lupin, the renowned Professor of... whatever ye' want I suppose, Defence or something. Ye'll be a good professor, always so orderly," she leaned back grinning. "I dinnae know how ye' do that. Meself, I dinnae even know where me left sock is!"

Remus smiled at her fondly. "Try to put your things away somewhere you can find them again instead of just throwing them on the floor. That's all there is to it."

"That's what me mum always said too," Lieve grumbled annoyed.

Remus laughed.

"Now honestly, wha' do ye' really want to do? There must be something."

"Well," Remus hesitated. "I thought it would be interesting to do actual research into what people consider dark creatures. I mean there's hardly anything known, because people are so afraid of them. It would be useful to shed some light upon them I believe. I'm sure there are a lot of magical abilities and defence mechanisms that haven't been discovered yet."

Lieve's eyes were shining in fascination at such a prospect. "Just imagine," she whispered dreamily, "to travel the world and discover things no one ever saw before, studying them creatures in their natural environment. Remus Lupin, the explorer! That's perfect," she smiled to herself. "Ye're right, dark creatures are just called so by stupid and scared people all around. They're just creatures, dangerous, aye, but not more than any others, like lions or sharks. Did ye' know tha' a lot more people die from exploding cauldrons than werewolf attacks every year?"

Remus froze at once, his mouth going completely dry. "Why would you say that?" he asked hoarsely.

"Er... to... make a point I guess," Lieve blinked. "Ye' know, people are always so afraid of werewolves, but they should actually worry about exploding cauldrons, because statistically they are more dangerous. Yet it's the werewolves who get all the attention... I mean..." Lieve started to stutter under Remus' wide eyes. "I never met a werewolf or anything, but just statistically... more wizards die from falling down the stairs... that's sort of funny... I mean werewolves are dangerous, but... stop looking at me like that!" she demanded annoyed making Remus jump and snap out of it immediately. Seeing that Lieve decided a change of subject was in order.

"More people die from broom accidents than vampire bites, there ye' go, better?" she asked somewhat bewildered and blinked a couple of times before soldiering on as if nothing had happened. "But ye' should really do some research in the field. Just take the Grindylows in the stream at home, people call them dark creatures, but they dinnae do anything as long as ye' leave them alone, and the scales they shed are good for potions. We've earned a lot of money collecting those," she rested her chin on her hand. "One can make a decent living out of tha'. Potion makers and healers do need a lot of ingredients and they dinnae go and collect them themselves, nay. We had so many things at home we've sold, the best anthrax milk in the world we had."

"It's indeed something worth to consider," Remus had finally recovered and lit up in interest. "You know, we should talk to Severus about it when we find him."

"That we should, the two of ye' together and ye' would be the best research team there is. I give it three years tops and ye'll be considered leading experts all over the world," she grinned.

"You're not giving yourself enough credit again," Remus scolded gently. "Our team is not going to get anywhere without you."

Lieve blushed deeply and smiled looking down at her hands. "Ye're impossible," she grumbled embarrassed, "just insisting upon being so incredibly nice all the time."

They sat there for a while in comfortable silence.

"That's nice," she said softly. "Just sitting and talking. It's good to know tha' we still can do tha', after spending so much time avoiding each other I mean."

Remus nodded drowsily. "Yeah, it's nice."

"Oh, good morning," James yawned from the doorway, ruffling his hair until it stood up straight.

"Morning Prongs," Remus responded.

"Morning," came from Lieve's side.

"Psst, Lieve," James smirked mischievously. "Padfoot is in the shower."

"Ooh," she grinned. "I bet two minutes."

"I say five. He likes to stand there for a while before washing his hair."

Remus looked from one to the other with a raised eyebrow. They had closed their eyes to count seconds.

"Two minutes," James grinned in triumph, "your time is up."

"PRONGS, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Nay, I believe I've won," Lieve answered smugly.

A couple of moments later Sirius stormed into the kitchen wearing a purple bathrobe. His dripping wet hair was now a glaring pink colour. "What the hell have you done?" he thundered aghast.

"It wasn't me," James wore his best innocent face. "It was her," he pointed at Lieve.

"Wha'? Me?" Lieve exclaimed in surprise. "Don't ye' try and shove tha' off on me!" She was a fairly good actress actually.

"It's probably your worst excuse of the day," Sirius sneered unimpressed. "I know you Prongs, it was you!"

Lieve and Remus exchanged looks and broke out in laughter, while James sat there completely bewildered.

"What's going on here?" A tired looking Lily appeared in the doorway and lifted an eyebrow at the sight before her. "Oh, that suits you," she smirked looking Sirius over. "Is that your new look?"

"Ha, ha," Sirius grimaced.

"Hey Regulus," Lily called over her shoulder. "Come and have a look at this!"

Regulus waddled sullenly through the door, blinked once and looked at Sirius as if he were the biggest idiot he had ever seen. "That's ridiculous."

"Now look what you've done, Prongs, you've embarrassed me in front of my little brother!" Sirius growled playfully.

Remus and Lieve exchanged looks before breaking out in laughter again.

"Not that you'd need any help for that," James rolled his eyes. "And I told you it was Lieve!"

"You still insist on that?" Sirius turned to him surprised. "It's not nice to hide behind a girl."

Lieve almost fell from her chair just managing to grab the kitchen table, before laughing even harder.

"Wait..." Sirius narrowed his eyes. "It was really you, wasn't it?"

She nodded unable to say anything through her hysterics.

"We had three days without you, more than enough time to come up with something," James explained.

"Somehow, I just can't help but be proud," Sirius chuckled.

Regulus looked up dumbfounded. "How on earth am I related to you?"

And Sirius did look ridiculous indeed, standing there smiling like an idiot, with his massy, pink hair dripping wet and dressed in nothing but a purple bathrobe. He turned to Regulus beaming in ecstatic joy. It was the first time since the beginning of the summer that Regulus had spoken to him directly, admitting that they were related no less, even if unconsciously so.

"You're my little brother, Reggie," Sirius informed him, "whether you like it or not!"

Regulus opened his mouth as if to protest, but closed it again with an annoyed frown.

Sirius seemed not discouraged by that. "Well, it's a start. I guess I'd better go dress," he announced cheerfully. "See ye'," he waved over his shoulder almost bouncing out.

Regulus watched him leave with an expression of genuine denial. "Seriously, how can I be related to him?"

"Sirius is just Sirius," James shrugged it off.

"I don't get it! I've never seen him like that before, not even remotely. I only ever remember him to be angry or annoyed, and we grew up together... It's downright idiotic!" Regulus kept staring at the empty doorway.

"Of course it is," Remus smirked. "That's what makes him such an easy company now and then."

"What in Merlin's name are you talking about?" Regulus turned towards him.

Remus shrugged. "Just that it's worth noticing that he's not as stupid as he seems, and it's unhealthy to constantly wallow in misery." He blew on his tea. "Trust me, people simply crack if they insist upon doing that."

Regulus' shoulders slumped down to their usual position.

"Look Regulus," Lily intervened. "I didn't understand Sirius either until recently, but Remus is right. We all know what is out there, but since we can't do anything we must at least try and keep the mood up, or we'll just fall apart... drive ourselves mad!" Lily sighed heavily trying to find the right words and picked up Mona again to pet her. "That's what the game on Thursday was about."

"If you say so," Regulus mumbled not looking her in the eyes.

"Hey, is that Hogwarts letters?" James asked.

"Aye," Lieve nodded. "I've got two O's!" she waved her parchment happily.

"That's great, congratulations!" James smiled picking up his own letter, refraining from mentioning that he had received four O's in his day. He weighed it in his hand looking at it oddly.

Regulus took his letter as well.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" James exclaimed all of a sudden.

"What?" Remus lifted his eyebrow. "You've got your first detention of the year already?"

"Ha, ha, very funny," James commented dryly and held up a shining badge staring at it flabbergasted.

"What's that?" Remus leaned closer to have a better look.

"I... Pad will never let me live it down," he sighed in resignation. "It appears Dumbledore has lost his mind and made me Head Boy!"

To his utter amazement no one seemed surprised.

"Congratulations!" Lily smiled amused.

"What? It's me you're talking about," he stared at them wide-eyed.

"Yes, but you've grown up," Lily told him. "So it's really not that surprising."

"The same here," Remus acknowledged.

"I thought it would be either ye' or Remus," Lieve shrugged.

"But why not Moony then? Or hell, somebody else?"

"I think I have enough to handle already," Remus smirked. "And just listen to us for a while, you've grown up, you've taken responsibility for younger students, it's really not surprising."

"What's going on here?" Sirius found his way back now fully dressed, though his hair was still pink and wet.

"James was made Head Boy," Lily didn't hesitate to inform him.

"You're kidding me, right?" Sirius looked scandalised.

"No," James spoke up meekly. "Look," he held up the badge.

"That's absolutely disgusting," Sirius turned his nose up. "What have I done to disserve that?" He sat down beside Remus shaking his head. "To see my two best mates succumb to such things, a prefect and a Head Boy, it's too much to bear." He turned to Lieve. "And don't you dare and become Head Girl next year or I will never forgive you!"

Lieve lifted an eyebrow. "I dinnae think that would be something to worry about."

"Who says that?" Remus protested. "It could happen."

Lily smiled and sat down to reach for her own letter. "Why are you seeking friendship with me and Reg if you feel like that then?" she asked innocently. "We are both prefects you know."

"Merlin, how did I manage to land in a house full of insane people?" Sirius groaned tugging at his hair.

Lily pulled out a gleaming badge of her own. "Sorry, correction, a prefect and a Head Girl."

"You too?" James exclaimed. "Er, not that I'm surprised or anything, but wow! Congrats! You deserve it Lily!"

"Thanks," she smiled a little bemused.

"Shit, there are prefects, Head Boys and Head Girls all around me!" Sirius cried out reaching across the table. "Lieve, help me! You're the only one I can still rely on!"

"Nay," Lieve shook her head smirking.

"Pad, she dyed your hair pink this morning," Remus pointed out. "I think she's not on your side anymore."

"Oh, I don't know," Sirius flipped his hair around elegantly. "I think it's pretty cool, I might keep it."

"Wha'?" Lieve stared at him in disbelief, while the people around them started laughing.

"Bless the Marauders," Lily whispered under her breath.

* * *

_AN; Hey every-body! I got GREAT news! _

_Well for me any-way... and.. yeah this is pretty much a commercial for ME! all about me! _

_As I have told before in some notes.. I make internet videos, and I have done that for some time. Last week I was picked up by a bigger site! Called the Agony booth! or just "Agonybooth." So I will be a part of their community now and do videos for them! SWEET! there's links on my profil page on this site. _

_And I know you are all potter fans.. so it may be of interest to you that next spring I am planning to go through ALL of the harry potter movies in funny re-caps, with one or two special guest stars... subscribe on one of my places to see.. youtube account, Blog.. what-ever.. there's a couple to pick from... and with guest stars I mean other people who made it big on the internet.. something about... star kids? _

_I am super duper excited over all of this, this means a lot of things to me! for one thing.. I didn't quite made it for October, but then there's spring.. I WILL BE AT LONDON EXSCPO CON NEXT SPRING! to promote the site and internet videos, this is all so damn sweet! WEEE I am so happy!_

_Oh and.. then there's the new chapter.. stay tuned for next weeks update.._


	35. Visit to Diagon alley

Lily was spinning surrounded by green flames, before she was spat out of the fireplace at her destination in Diagon Alley. Coughing and spluttering she got up and began dusting herself. Sirius appeared a moment later and stepped out easily.

"Is there a magical way of travelling at least somewhat comfortable?" she asked brushing soot off her flowery summer dress and trying to get some order into her hair, which had been perfect only two minutes ago.

"After your standards, I'm afraid not, love," Sirius smirked not even bothering to hide his amusement at her predicament. He stood there in a black leather jacket and sturdy leather boots, with his hair falling around his face elegantly. There was no denying that he was pretty damn good looking, wild and rebellious, and so it wasn't surprising that a brown-haired girl on the other side of the room was sighing at him dreamily.

Gracefully, Regulus stepped out next. Now that they were out of school uniforms, it was quite obvious how different the two brothers were. Regulus was wearing traditional wizard's robes and his hair short and neat. His expression was stern and reserved, though it did not stop the aforementioned girl from eyeing him appreciatively, before pocking her friend to whisper in her ear.

Lieve stumbled out covered in more soot than anyone of them, coughing violently. Her patched, worn out coat had many pockets in it, which could contain the oddest of items, such as spoons, grindylow teeth and tea bags. Fortunately, Lily managed to catch her by the shoulders before she fell on her nose for real.

"Darn Floo!" Lieve spat shaking her wild hair, sending soot in all directions.

"Yeah, well, no more Side-Along Apparition on my part," James commented stepping out after her. He was dressed casually, in jeans, T-shirt and a jacket. "Seriously, it's a miracle no one got splinched the last time."

"And your hair just managed to grow back," Lily added brushing soot out of the unruly, orange coloured mop.

Finally, Remus appeared looking Lieve over with concern. "You're all right there? That was quite a jump." The brown wizard's robes he was wearing were of a simple and worn variety.

"I'm fine," Lieve coughed out in response.

Lily rolled her eyes. "With all the magic you could think there were safer and more comfortable ways of travelling."

She smirked wryly while looking around the bar room of the Leaky Cauldron. Only a couple of people were in sight; a man with salt-and-pepper hair and broad shoulders hung over the bar with his back to them; a couple of seats away from him a trite looking blond woman, who apparently had been on quite a drinking spree, was snoring with her head on her arms, drooling slightly. Tom, the pub owner, was bustling around, giving them curious looks. And Lily could hardly blame him, not even two of them seemed to match. There was her in a muggle summer dress, white sandals and casual makeup; Sirius in leather and black, not to mention the two golden rings in his ear; Regulus, looking formal and dignified; Lieve, who resembled a pocket thief or a street merchandiser and the severe and bookish Remus. The only one looking somewhat ordinary would be James.

Blinking she imagined what the people missing would look like in civil. Peter, probably in very simple clothes he could hide away in, and Sev in the wizard's robes she had given him, looking powerful and forbidding, or he would have been half a year ago at least. Now he was likely dark, gaunt and sullen, scaring people out of his way by mere presence. She sighed and decided to think of something else, seeing no point in dwelling on her misery.

They were individuals and that was that, individuality was good... when it did not clash that is. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Regulus glaring sullenly at Sirius, and Remus jerking away from Lieve when he realised that he had been standing too close for too long, while Lieve sighed defeated noticing him do that. Their group was not entirely rock-free, alright.

Entering the Alley they split up. James took Sirius and Lieve to Gringotts and Lily stayed with Remus and Regulus, helping Remus to look for some new robes in the second-hand store. It was an ideal arrangement keeping potential trouble in mind, even though Regulus was painfully out of place there. He seemed hesitant and embarrassed at first, but also fascinated by the concept, nearly asking Remus a question several times, but stopping himself at the last moment.

"How about this one?" Lily held up a thick, not too shabby black robe that would be ideal for late autumn and winter. It was about the right size too.

"Perfect," Remus smiled appreciatively taking it from her. "It's my winter robes that need exchanging most badly."

"You weren't freezing last winter, were you?" she asked concerned.

"Nah, it was fine," he shrugged. "My immune system is stronger than most."

"That's no reason to be cold," Lily protested. "Here," she took a scarf and some woollen gloves. "I couldn't help noticing that you don't have any."

Remus smiled sheepishly muttering an embarrassed thanks.

Despite himself Regulus was both wary and intrigued by his newfound surroundings. "Do many people shop here?" he finally asked, though obviously uncomfortable over the question.

"About half the school I guess," Lily smiled amused. "Half of my own books are second hand you know, and it's not because my family is poor. There's just no reason in spending good money on new ones every year when the second-hand are completely the same." She chuckled suddenly. "You should see Sev's book collection. They were his mother's to begin with, but then he has started using them as personal journals, they became so battered and scribbled all over that it's a miracle they don't fall apart from mere touch!" She sighed. "He's pretty good at repairing clothes as well, making them look not too worn; always wanting to at least appear decent."

"Maybe he could teach me a thing or two," Remus commented pulling out a summer robe with patches on it already.

Lily shrugged smiling softly. Imagining Remus not looking shabby felt just wrong somehow and the idea of Sev giving him housewife tips was pretty funny as well. She glanced over at Regulus to see if he had caught the humour, he however was frowning and looking out of the window. Lily followed his gaze; a blond boy was outside and glaring back at him. The boy's features were soft and cute, but there seemed to be a shadow of madness lurking behind his light blue eyes.

"Who's that?" she asked.

"It's not important," Regulus hesitated. "It's Crouch from the year below me."

"Isn't his father a high Ministry official?" Remus was looking over now as well.

"Yes, he is," Regulus acknowledged.

"Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement if I'm not mistaken," Remus mused. "A pretty ruthless fellow if you ask me."

Regulus lifted an eyebrow. "You met him?"

"Only once," Remus smirked waiving nonchalantly. "It was a bit of a misunderstanding, nothing big."

Regulus' eyes widened suddenly. "That's Rookwood," he whispered apprehensively when a large man appeared beside Crouch. "He's a Death Eater, he was at the mansion."

They watched the man taking Barty Crouch junior by the shoulder and leading him away, though not before the boy had sent Regulus one last glare.

"What does that mean?" Lily asked.

Regulus turned to her visibly alarmed. "Trouble. They know we are here."

"_Shit_!" Lily sprang into action. "We need to get the others and then get the hell out."

Both Regulus and Remus seemed stunned at her swearing.

"Well," she gestured impatiently. "What are you waiting for, Remus, you've got everything you wanted here, right?"

"Yeah," Remus jumped. "Just let me pay," and he hurried to the counter with his clothes.

"You know," Lily sighed. "Coming here was a pretty dumb idea, now that I think about it."

"Agreed," Regulus nodded solemnly.

"WHAT?" Remus' voice sounded from the counter. "Why?" he looked at the clerk flabbergasted.

"Simple, I don't sell to the kinds of you," she crossed her arms.

"How do you even know?" The clerk threw a piece of parchment at him in response. "Oh, that's just great!" Remus took a look at whatever it was and crunched it up.

"Stay here," Lily instructed Regulus and run over. "What is it?"

"The werewolf register was made public, courtesy of Dolores Umbridge," Remus hissed, so Regulus could not hear. "And we all are followers of Voldemort now, apparently." He sneered disdainfully when the counter clerk flinched at the name.

"Then I'll buy!" Lily turned to her at once.

The clerk shook her head. "You are buying for him."

"So?" Lily hissed. "It's no business of yours who I'm buying it for. Here take the damn money," she threw some coins at the counter. "That should be enough. Let's get out of here!" She grabbed the parcel and Remus dragging him out, Regulus followed behind.

"What was that about?" Regulus asked.

"Stupid gossip and prejudice, that's what it was about," Lily scowled, while Remus offered an apologetic, though very strained smile. Regulus regarded them stunned, clearly trying to comprehend, or draw some reasonable conclusion at least.

They hurried down the street towards Gringotts. Regulus and Remus were trying to hide their features, which just made them look more suspicious in Lily's opinion.

"BLOOD TRAITOR!" a female voice screeched all of a sudden, "MUDBLOOD! HALFBREED!"

"Shit!" Lily cursed again. "RUN FOR GRINGOTTS! NOW!" she drew her wand just in time to deflect a stunner sent their way.

Regulus and Remus drew their wands as well and together they made a run for it.

Three hooded figures were following them, sending stunners.

"GET THEM! GET THEM! KILL THE BLOOD TRAITOR, MUDBLOOD AND HALF-BREED!"

"Why half-breed?" Regulus managed to ask when they took cover behind a corner.

"That would be me she's referring to," Remus admitted resigned. He shot a blinding spell to create a diversion, before grabbing them and proceeding to the next corner.

"What do we do now?" Lily panted. "We are quite trapped here. You can't apparate in and out of Diagon Alley."

"How would I know?" Regulus shot back annoyed.

"I think it's sufficient to say that any suggestion would do," Remus pointed out leaning against the wall. "Because I only got one and that's _RUN!_" he started sprinting down the side alley, gesturing for the others to follow.

"Damn, they're coming this way!" Lily hissed. "Whoa!" she stopped when three robed, mean looking men blocked the way ahead of them, before heading straight towards them. They were no Death Eaters, but did not seem friendly either.

"Snatchers," Regulus whispered. "And..."

"_YOU!_"

Neither Lily nor Regulus could have ever imagined so much venom in Remus' voice. It was enough to send a shudder down their spines. The man he was looking at was absolutely disgusting, with sharp, yellow teeth, long claw-like nails and a stink of rotten meat about him.

"So we meet again Lupin. It's been what, twelve years? Why, you were no bigger than that," he simpered spreading his arms to show how big. "Come here and give daddy a hug."

"CONFRINGUS!" a blast came from behind and knocked the snatchers out of the way to reveal James Potter with his wand raised, Sirius and Lieve were standing behind him ready to fight. "What are you waiting for? Let's go!" James yelled at the three before turning and starting to run. Only Remus hesitated staring venomously at the filthy snatcher on the ground.

"MOONY, LET'S GO!" James yelled again, thankfully snapping Remus out of it, so he could follow them.

A green light flew past them. "WHOA!" Sirius shouted. "Are you kidding me? Killing curses?"

Suddenly, an enormous fire erupted between them and the Death Eaters, giving them time to at least gain some distance. They were running along the shabbier part of the Alley towards the exit, but before long there were more Death Eaters and snatchers on their heels.

Regulus was slowly getting nervous when Lieve turned to him with a strangely blank expression on her face. "Call Kreacher," she spoke almost hypnotically, and lacking the accent it didn't sound anything like her. "He can apparate us out."

"What?" Regulus stared at her in shock.

"Wha'?" Lieve blinked uncomprehending.

"What did you say?"

"I dinnae say anything," Lieve responded with a slight frown. "Are ye' alright?"

"I don't know," Regulus blinked and called for his house-elf, "KREACHER!" But nothing happened.

"In here," Sirius gestured at the door standing open to their left. They found themselves in what looked like the entrance hall of an apartment building.

"Er, what's the plan from here?" Regulus looked at his brother as if he were a complete idiot, which was well deserved Lily thought, since she had to ask herself that as well.

"Don't know, not getting caught?" Sirius snapped back.

A loud crack interrupted the pending argument between them, making the entire group jump. "What the..." Sirius stared in disbelief at what had appeared.

Lily blinked, if she would make an educated guess she'd say it was a house-elf, though it did not look quite like the pictures she had seen in her school books. It was so leathery and wrinkled that she could not be absolutely sure, and it did not seem to be pleasant either, regarding them with apprehensive eyes.

"Kreacher!" Sirius shouted angrily. "What the hell are you doing here, you filthy..."

"Leave him alone!" Regulus pushed Sirius away. "And don't you dare insulting him ever again!"

At the sight of Regulus the house-elf lit up in delight, showing off his two teeth left and spreading its arms enthusiastically. "MASTER!" it cheered, but then drew back and flushed in embarrassment. "Master must excuse Kreacher. Kreacher knows he's is not allowed to touch, but Kreacher was so worried about master Regulus."

"It's alright, Kreacher," Regulus smiled fondly at the weird creature. "You can touch me," he squatted down to hug the old house-elf, while Sirius and the others were watching wide-eyed.

"Master," the elf broke out in happy tears. "Kreacher knew it was master's voice he heard, Kreacher knew it! Oh, Kreacher was so terrified when master did not come home from school. Mistress keeps saying that she has two disappointments now, but Kreacher did not believe it, Kreacher knows that master Regulus will always be good."

"Kreacher listen," Regulus let go of the crying elf. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but it's true, mother has disowned me."

Kreacher was looking at him as if he did not quite understand. "But master Regulus is still master Regulus?" he asked a little unsure.

"Yes, Kreacher," Regulus smiled. "I'm still the same and you're still my best friend."

Kreacher's ugly face split into a huge grin. "Then Kreacher will serve master Regulus. Kreacher will always be proud to serve master Regulus, no matter what mistress says."

Sirius stared at them dumfounded, scratching the back of his head. "Now why was he never like that to me?"

"What do you think?" Regulus shot back sarcastically. "Pushing him around and calling him names? What did you expect?"

"Oh, well..." a heavy blush was crawling up Sirius' neck and he looked away, clearly biting his tongue to refrain from saying something he would regret later.

Lieve squatted down regarding the creature curiously and it promptly hid behind Regulus' leg. "Excuse me for asking, but how did ye' get here Kreacher, ye' cannae apparate in the Diagon Alley. Is it because of tha' elf magic of yers?"

Kreacher looked up at Regulus in question, but his master only shrugged nonchalantly.

"Elf magic is actually quite magnificent," Lieve went on. "Ye' can do all sorts of things wandlessly, ye' can. That's something most wizards can only dream of. And like many creatures ye're not limited to them wizarding wards and laws, since most wizards' magic cannae sense ye'... Whoops!" she held her hand in front of her mouth. "I'm being rude, ain't I? I'm Lieve, a pleasure to meet you, Kreacher." She stretched out her hand as if it were the most natural thing to do.

Kreacher just stared at her in shock, before tightening his grip on Regulus' trousers, who could not help but smile amused. "You can take her hand, Kreature. She's not going to hit you."

The elf gulped watching Lieve warily, but then took her hand and gave it a limp squeeze, before jerking back behind Regulus.

"Look, it's nice and everything," Sirius snorted, "but we're kind of on the run here."

"Kreacher," Regulus turned to address the house-elf. "Can you apparate us all to Godric's Hollow?"

"Certainly master," Kreacher nodded, "if everyone would hold hands please."

Regulus reached down to take the elf's hand, Lieve took the other and Lily took hers. The Marauders followed suit forming a circle.

"Do not let go," Kreacher instructed and suddenly Lily felt the familiar sensation of being pressed through a tube, only slightly worse than what she was used to. A moment later her feet hit the ground hard and she fell over Remus.

"Is there anything else master Regulus needs?" the house-elf asked. "You must excuse Kreacher, but Kreacher has a lot to do in the house. Kreacher should return at once."

"Thank you, Kreacher," Regulus smiled, "only an order. Don't tell mum that you have seen or helped me. If she were to ask for some reason, lie and don't punish yourself over it." Then he hesitated. "And... there's something Bellatrix supposedly received from the Dark Lord to keep safe. I don't want you to go out of your way to find out what it is, and don't try to steal it, but if you can do so undetected, then come to me and tell me immediately, alright?"

Kreacher nodded, his bat wing sized ears flapping. "Is there anything else, master?"

"No, that should be all," Regulus shook his head. "If there's anything I'll call for you... and Kreacher, if you ever need anything, you can come to me as well."

Kreacher grinned widely showing his two miserable teeth. "As you wish, master Regulus," he yapped happily, before vanishing with a crack.

"I never thought I'd say that, but Merlin bless the little bugger," Sirius sighed resigned.

Regulus sent him a deadly glare.

"Hey, I did say Merlin bless," Sirius defended himself.

Lily smiled at their antics. "It was a brilliant idea to call him, and boy was it lucky he decided to obey you despite the disownment."

"It wasn't my idea," Regulus turned to her. "Lieve told me to call Kreacher."

"Wha'?" Lieve gaped at him. "I dinnae tell you any such thing. I dinnae even know ye' had a house-elf, or what his name was."

"But you did," Regulus insisted. "Don't you remember? You specifically told me to call Kreacher."

"I dinnae!" Lieve shook her head violently. "Honestly, I dinnae."

James frowned thoughtfully. "It was pretty chaotic in there, are you sure you haven't imagined that?"

"Look, I'm absolutely sure, okay," Regulus crossed his arms. "Lieve told me to call Kreacher."

"Then let's just leave it," James sighed. "It doesn't really matter, does it?"

Lily begged to differ. "Well, if Lieve has said something so important, but can't remember, it's pretty damn important!"

"Who did cast those flames?" James changed the topic suddenly. "It was brilliant!"

Surprisingly enough, no one took the claim.

"Oh, come on now," Sirius raised an eyebrow. "It must have been one of us." He looked at Remus. "It was you, wasn't it?"

"No," Remus shook his head. "I can assure you that it wasn't."

Sirius frowned. "But who then?"

Everyone just blinked in confusion. "One of the Death Eaters?" Lily suggested sounding doubtful herself.

"Someone hiding on the roof is more likely," Regulus pointed out.

Remus sighed. "For all we know it could have been a poltergeist having fun at the Death Eater's expense."

Lily's mind however was working furiously. "I've seen someone conjure and control flames like that only once," she mused aloud, "last March."

Everyone's eyes widened in realisation. "SEVERUS!"


	36. Threstralls, legends and a cornered rat

Since they knew it would be the last time in a while they would have some privacy, the six out of the eight Marauders used a secluded compartment on the Hogwarts express to discuss anything important concerning their summer.

Remus' trunk contained two crumpled-up warning posters with his face on them. The one the shop keeper had gotten hold of was just like the others plastered all over the Diagon Alley, saying "Hogwarts student" and "beware". The other one James and Sirius had ripped off a random wall, barely succeeding to conceal it from Lieve, according to them.

"I think it's cool," Sirius had joked showing it to an extremely annoyed Remus.

"_You_ try and get your face on warning posters all over the place and then you'll see what it feels like," Remus had snapped back.

He was feeling mad and completely humiliated, begging Merlin that no one he knew had seen the posters, that they had just ignored them like most people. There were so many of them after all, and most werewolves on them hadn't done a thing. And who was responsible for that atrocity? Dolores Umbridge of course! Remus had seen her only once, when the Wolfsbane Potion had been tested. Who would have thought there would be someone he could hate even more than Fenrir Greyback? He shuddered inwardly at the thought of the man. In the Alley weeks ago was the first time Remus had seen him in person since... well, since he had been bitten. He had been so young that he barely remembered anything beyond the absolute terror, the glowing amber eyes and sharp teeth. He had seen photographs of Greyback of course and they had not affected him much, but now, after having seen him up close, the thought that he had it in him to become exactly like that was sending cold shivers down his spine.

Every time the conversation returned to the incident Lily was seething with anger.

"He was there! Right there! And he didn't even consider to give me a sign, much less to contact me!" she hissed talking about Severus of course.

James sighed propping his chin up with his elbow. "Lily, I don't know how to break it to you, but he was the one who has left you, so the chances of him seeking you out are quite small."

She sent him a scathing glare.

"Well, look," James tried to placate her. "What did you expect him to do? Leave a note? Hi Lily, I'm safe and well, and currently residing at a spa. Don't worry about me fighting Death Eaters and Voldemort singlehandedly, I've everything under control. Cheers, Severus. PS, I'm sorry."

Lily paled visibly.

"Oh, sorry," James spluttered seeing that. "I wasn't thinking."

"Really Prongs, how did you figure?" Remus lifted an eyebrow. "Lily, we all know he's in danger out there, but you shouldn't forget that he can take care of himself pretty darn well."

"He would be even better at that if he could think straight," Lily hissed crossing her arms.

"Lily, we know," James scoffed. "None of us is stupid."

Sirius smirked at him, "though you've made such a good job trying the past six years."

"Speak for yourself," James retorted smirking as well.

"I've absolutely no idea what you're talking about," Sirius sounded affronted. "With my charisma and boyishly good looks, how could anyone ever accuse me of that?"

"One is left to wonder," Regulus' voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Yep," Lily nodded in agreement.

Sirius however was positively glowing at his success to drag Regulus into conversation. "You know, you're right, perhaps I'm too old for the boyish look," he examined his reflection in the window. "I was thinking about trying out a beard."

A wide-eyed silence followed that statement. Regulus was staring at Sirius, as if he had sprouted a horn on his forehead. "You got to be joking!" he managed to choke out finally. Everyone else just nodded thinking the same.

Sirius shrugged unfazed. "Just a short beard, a goatee or something. Lieve, my sweet, what do you think?"

"Tha' ye're barking mad," was her sensitive response.

"And here I thought that pink hair was your new deal," James pursed his lips wryly. "Well, I guess it would do for you, Mr. Drama Queen."

"Prongsie, how mean of you," Sirius faked disappointment. "I was hoping you would grow one with me."

"No way in hell!" James answered at once.

"How about you, Moony? I always thought a moustache would look good on you."

"Try again when I'm well over thirty," Remus snorted rolling his eyes.

"I definitely will!"

Regulus shook his head and turned to whisper into Lieve's ear. "That's assuming he's going to live that long."

"Aye," she whispered back. "One cannae know when exactly he's gonna drop of tha' broom."

"And you still want to be seen with him in public?" Regulus was sincerely confused.

"The question is rather who's gonna want to be seen in public with me," Lieve told him. "I like him and he's my friend," she hesitated a bit. "He's one of the nicest people I've ever met, he is, and he has helped me a lot."

Regulus lifted an eyebrow and was about to ask another question when James interrupted, making them both jump in their seats. "Hey! What are you two whispering about?"

Lieve smirked smugly. "Discussing how to give Paddy an irremovable pink Russian beard," she informed him without missing a beat.

Sirius tut-tutted at her. "Carrot, you've still so much to learn. One doesn't tell about the prank beforehand, now I'll know it was you when it happens."

"Why me?" Lieve retorted. "It could as well be Reg, couldn't he?"

"Hm," Regulus pursed his lips thoughtfully. "I must admit it sounds tempting." He seemed not only serious but actually gleeful at the prospect, making Lieve somewhat worried.

Sirius however just grinned happily to the amusement, or in some cases alarm, of the others.

* * *

Lily's eyes widened when she saw what was coming towards them, black-skinned skeletal horses with leathery wings and sharp teeth. A glance to the side revealed that she was not the only one staring. "You can see them too?"

They all nodded mutely.

"Thestrals," Remus breathed in amazement. "I was actually hoping to never be able to see them."

They watched the carriage drawing beasts pass by, taking a step back in unison when one came too close and seemingly out of nowhere. Not far away Lily could see a very pale Peter Pettigrew staring at the horses in absolute terror. Lieve and Remus had moved closer, not afraid to pet the animals despite their scary looks. But then again, Lieve was a bit like Hagrid in that regard, finding any and all creatures fascinating, and Remus was too.

Almost like drawn Lily moved closer to them as well.

"They're very social and nice, them Thestrals," Lieve told her. "They're flying horses invisible to all muggles and wizards who never saw death."

"Though because of the death thing, most people fear them," Remus added distractedly. His voice sounded haunted and Lily could only too well imagine why, thinking about the same person as the rest of them.

Carefully, Lily placed her hand on the horse's neck. The black skin felt soft and warm underneath her palm and the beast pushed its head towards her eagerly. A sudden movement caught her eye and turning slightly she saw a familiar blond boy petting a Thestral further down the line of carriages, however, there was a look of triumph instead of sadness in his eyes. Crouch was smirking evilly while his hand glided along the Thestral's flank. There was definitely something wrong with that kid that much she could tell.

Sirius wrapped his arm around Lieve and dragged her away from the winged horses catching Lily's attention in the process. "Oi, Carrot, I've got a question for you, though it might seem a bit odd." Lily moved closer to be able to hear what ridiculous things Sirius might utter at a safe distance from the others.

"Wha' is it?"

"Say, if Prongs were a vampire," Sirius mused, "but had kept it hidden and all. How would you react?"

"James is a vampire?" Lieve was beyond flabbergasted.

Lily shook her head in amusement and walked away imagining the disaster to occur in the near future. The feeling of dread had left her for a moment, only to return when she saw Barty Crouch junior climb into one of the carriages. It remained deep in her gut while she entered Hogwarts and not even greeting Bertha and Emmeline, her two best friends, made it go away. Talking to them she could feel how much they had drifted apart, she had spent far more time with Sev and the Phoenix Fighters last year than with them, not to mention the entire summer in the Marauders' company. It could not be helped. After sharing that horrible experience with them she was closer to the boys and Lieve than she could ever be to her other friends. It was simply a matter of trust.

Entering the Great Hall they were forced to part ways with Regulus and Lieve, who headed for their respective tables. Regulus actually seemed downright relieved to be finally able to get rid of them after months of forced closeness. Lily ended up sitting with the Marauders, not her female friends. Well, the Marauders minus Peter, who had placed himself a good distance away. She was sure James and Sirius had tried to talk to him again, but to no avail. He was still convinced that it was simply too dangerous to hang out with them.

Her eyes drifted to the teachers' table. Dumbledore was at the centre with Professor McGonagall to his right and Professor Slughorn to his left. Next to McGonagall sat Professor Flitwick, and further down was the seat of the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, each and every single year it would be occupied by a new face. This time it was a tough and confident looking wizard with short greying hair. It was definitely a good sign as far as Defence teachers went, though she supposed that no one could be possibly worse than their fourth-year teacher. She had cared about a broken nail more than teaching them any defensive magic, and that was when the war had broken out for real too.

"Dear students of Hogwarts," Dumbledore rose to give his speech. "I'm delighted to see that so many of you have managed to join us this year and fill our ranks enough to keep this school open, and that unfortunately is no laughing matter." He regarded them with a grave expression and Lily didn't even have to look around to know what the man was talking about. There weren't nearly as many students as only last year. Some people where on the run, some even worse.

"These are dark times indeed," Dumbledore continued. "And our thoughts and prayers are with those who are out there on their own, our beloved ones we have lost all contact to. And this is also why now, more than ever, it is important to support each other in every way we can and to remember that none of us are really that different, so there is no reason to let house affiliations stand in the way." Lily got the distinct impression that Dumbledore's eyes were searching the Gryffindor table. Suddenly they met hers and kept contact when he spoke the next words. "Last year, some of your peers began doing what so many others had failed, building a network of support and cooperation for those in need with no regards to their background. It is my sincere hope that these people carry on to set an example of understanding, acceptance and friendship between all houses and age groups here at Hogwarts." His eyes did finally move on. "Now let's proceed with the Sorting Ceremony, though I would like to see all the houses welcome every single one of our new students, no matter where they are sorted into, thank you." He sat down to a quite hesitant sounding applause. The students clearly did not know what to think of it, but would undoubtedly try to comply.

"A bit sentimental this year, isn't he?" James asked.

"Call me silly," Lily breathed. "But I think he was talking about us."

"Us?" James furrowed his brows. "Really?"

Remus smirked. "I must admit it sounded suspiciously like us, the Phoenix Fighters." He straightened and started quoting. "Last year, some of your peers began doing what so many others had failed, building a network of support and cooperation for those in need with no regards to their background." He lifted an eyebrow, "and he was looking at us at the time."

Sirius blinked. "Do you think he knew all along?"

"Somehow I wouldn't find that too surprising," James smiled ironically.

"You can say what you will," Lily agreed, "but he's actually very perceptive." She decided to keep the fact that he had looked mostly at her to herself. Somehow she had the feeling Dumbledore must know that she was currently the unofficial leader of the Fighters, together with Regulus. The others were helping of course, but it was basically down to them. "Well, at least he seems to be happy about it," she added watching the Sorting Hat being placed on the stool. The brim opened wide as it started to sing.

_This tale I sing, now listen well,_

_It is a tale of courage and hope._

_In the darkest of nights strength will prevail,_

_Since true heroes can rise only after they fail._

_Baldrick, a wizard so strong and smart,_

_He thought his weakness was to be his heart._

_But it was not his heart to look out for,_

_It was his arrogance which had to go._

_The fair maiden who had hurt him so,_

_In heart and mind she unwillingly were his doom  
_

_He had to take her make her a slave to sit by his throne._

_Now he thought she was his! but it wasn't so._

_In body perhaps, but her heart was her own._

_A young servant saw her bound to the chair_

_And at ones he lost his heart to the lady fair._

_But instead of wooing her with gold and power,_

_He gave her his love, which was enough to the precious flower._

_The two ran away evoking Baldrick's absolute wrath._

_He sent hordes of monsters to track down the lovers path._

_The two were caught and brought back in_

_To face the grandest wizard that had ever been._

_Sir Baldrick had never before faced defeat._

_Yet standing there, his heart in a double beat,_

_And ready to kill, punish them for their flight,_

_He found he could not, although he had a right._

_In that single moment Baldrick had changed his mind_

_And set them free, though in resentful mood,_

_Until receiving a kiss from the maiden for being so kind,_

_And her love and forgiveness to boot._

_After that day there was a grand feast._

_Baldrick did not miss his arrogance in the least._

_His people were now appreciated and treated well,_

_Since he was loved and happier than he could tell._

_The moral of this tale, just listen a bit longer,_

_Is that mistakes must be made to get stronger._

_Love is your power, not your flaw._

_It makes life full by the unwritten law._

_People can change and they can be kind,_

_If they let their heart guide their mind._

_Don't be arrogant and don't hold a grudge._

_And you can never love too much._

Lily blinked stunned by the untraditional song, but joined in when the ovation broke out.

"What a weird piece of er..." Sirius hesitated not knowing how to name it. "That was absolutely pointless!"

"I think it was beautiful," Lily commented sighing and leaning on her hand.

The Sorting Ceremony went mostly without disturbances. When the Marauders actually complied with Dumbledore's request and started clapping for all the youngsters they got strange looks from their house-mates. But with them in the lead the others soon followed, which meant that the Slytherins were forced to join in as well, not wanting to appear rude. It was not lost on Lily though that the nine remaining Slytherin Phoenix Fighters were just as sullen and displeased as most of their peers, especially Jugson, who was a former Fighter and sitting with Avery and Mulciber now. Barty Crouch junior was observing them with a gleeful glint in his eyes. Regulus, who was sitting not far away from him, seemed apprehensive at the scrutiny.

"Thank you," Dumbledore smiled warmly as the last new student had been sorted. "Before we begin our feast I have a couple of announcements. To fill the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts this year we have managed to get a trustworthy veteran Auror," he gestured at the new teacher. "Please welcome Professor John Dawlish!"

People clapped politely, as usual.

"So, how do you think this one's going to be?" Sirius asked sounding bored.

"Well, he's capable," James shrugged. "Dad worked with him, says he's punctual and orderly as hell, and there're never bumps in the road with Dawlish, he gets his work always done."

"Good Lord, sounds like we'll have actually a chance to pass our Defence N.E.W.T. this year," Lily smirked. "We could have done a lot worse."

"She's right," Remus leaned over. "You should count yourself lucky, Mr. Auror wannabe."

Sirius put his arm around his shoulder. "Moony, stop making good points, it's annoying."

Dumbledore of course gave the usual warning about the Forbidden Forest and named the new things added to Filch's list of banned objects. "And finally, let's begin the feast!"

"About time," Sirius rubbed his hands at the mountain of food appearing before him and winked in the direction of some girls. How he was able to stuff himself like that and keep an eye out for half the female population at the same time was simply beyond Lily. Bertha, who was sitting in that direction, was making cow's eyes at him. But since it was Bertha, it was okay she supposed, nice enough when you got to know her, but not the most intelligent female around.

"You were not much better last year you know," Remus commented interpreting her look correctly, while he was reaching for some steak.

"What do you mean?" Lily was visibly annoyed.

"Just that you've spent about four months making eyes at Severus. You girls and your... " Lily picked up an unmistakably bright orange hair from Remus' cloak holding it before his eyes with a raised eyebrow. Remus shut it immediately, a blush crawling up his neck. "You know what, scratch that, this love thing and who has a crush on who is too complicated for my liking."

Lily grinned mischievously; it was only too obvious where his mind had gone from there. "Good to know that you can tell for yourself how it feels."

"That's what I get for trying to be smart, isn't it?" Remus sighed in defeat.

"Being smart with a woman? Always," Lily pursed her lips in amusement.

* * *

James sighed deeply as he finally arrived in the common room. "Stupid buggers of kids," he grumbled after being forced to follow the wide-eyed first-years all the way to the portrait hole.

Lily scoffed. "At least try and be nice; you were in their shoes once, remember?"

"Yeah, and I've put a sign on our prefect's back, which said 'kick me'."

"Afraid that your past sins will come back to haunt you, James?" she smiled sweetly.

"I'm not only afraid of that I know that's what is happening! Every little thing's coming back to bite me in the arse, and it's pretty annoying. I was a prat I get it, now please stop!"

Lily chuckled. "Well, if you've learned from it then it's a job well done. Remember the song, 'mistakes must be made to get stronger'."

James shot her an annoyed glare, but then yawned. "Night Lily, see you in the morning."

"Night James," Lily went up the stairs to her dorm.

When James came in Remus and Sirus were already in bed, Peter though was scurrying around in his corner of the room. "Er..." James wanted to try again. "Hey Wormy, how was your summer?"

Peter stiffened, but continued with his preparations ignoring him.

"Moony has already tried for an hour," Sirius put in.

James frowned. "Wormy, this is ridiculous! We share a dorm, you can't ignore us forever."

"He can try," Sirius shot in Peter's direction.

"Look Wormy," James sighed. "I'm sorry we didn't take better care of you last March and I'm sorry we've sent you in alone. We shouldn't have, we should have stuck together."

"And you think that's all?" Peter turned to him at last. "Ever since we've started school, how much of say have I ever had? You always just drag me along. I didn't even want to be there, but have you even asked? No!" His face was crimson with anger. "I was there in that room and I saw them almost kill you! I saw them kill her! And suddenly those flames burst out and I was only this small!" He gestured in demonstration. "Do you know what it means to be that small? People can step on you and break your spine, or just pick you up and squeeze you to death, or throw you across the room. Do you even realise how often you nearly crushed me in your stag form, because you didn't look where you were going, or how often Remus nearly ate me? Anyone in that mansion could have killed me accidentally and the flames were everywhere, so I couldn't get out! I was trapped in a corner with people running and screaming around me while the flames were closing in!" he was breathing heavily, but continued in the same vein.

"I couldn't change into human form, because they would've killed me on sight, not to mention that I would've been only in your way, since I'm not your equal! I'm just the pathetic little Peter, who was tagging behind you all along, because it had its benefits and was better than being on my own, but I was never of any use to you other than making you look good! And you knew that! We all have known that from the very first day and did behave accordingly! I was scared shitless when we went to the mansion, and afterwards, after witnessing all that and being alone out there I just wanted to curl up and cry. I was sure you were dead! I nearly died myself, and I don't want to die!" He glared at them. "I don't want to die," he repeated much more calmly. There was a strength and conviction in his voice none of them had ever heard before.

James blinked. Of all things, that was not what he had expected to hear. That Peter would have the guts to break up with them and even stand up for himself was not something James would have thought possible, and apparently Peter neither, seeing as he seemed to be just as shocked by his own rant.

"Peter, if you really felt this way, you should have said something, we would've listened," James reasoned.

"Really?" Peter looked sceptical. "You never did before."

"You've never complained before either," Sirius pointed out. "We've never meant it to be like that you know."

James' look told Sirius silently to shut up. Peter though just shook his head and started to rummage around his trunk again, as if nothing had happened.

James frowned. His past sins had come back to bite him in the arse indeed it seemed. Had he ever considered Peter's feelings before? If he was honest with himself, no, he hadn't. Peter had always been neglected by the rest of them and being trapped in a burning house filled with Death Eaters must have been the last straw, forcing him to grow some spine for the first time in his life. Thinking about it, the incident might have been the best thing that could've ever happened to him. Irony was cruel.

"Pete, I'm really sorry," James sighed, "for everything. And if you would give us another chance, I promise we will listen and not brush you off anymore. We're no longer children after all."

Peter didn't answer, just climbed into his bed and pulled the covers over his head, determined to ignore his dorm-mates. James glanced over at Remus and saw his pale and mortified face.

"Peter," Remus croaked finally. "You won't ever need to spend another full moon with the wolf, I promise."

To their surprise, Peter shot up in the bed and turned to face him. "It's not that I didn't want to do it, Remus. Keeping you company was a good opportunity to help making it easier on you, since I certainly didn't like to see the state you were in the morning after," Peter reassured him, but then hesitated before continuing. "I'm glad... that I could do something useful... even if it was just pressing that knot on the root. But it would've been nice to be asked if I wanted to in first place."

James exchanged guilty looks with Sirius and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Please, just give us a chance, Wormy."

Peter sighed heavily and turned away to stare out of the window. James followed his gaze and was met with the sight of the soon to be full moon. When he looked back Peter was gone, transformed into a rat lying on top of the covers, making it impossible to try anymore conversation with him.

"Peter," Sirius rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry too, I just suck at paying attention to people when you come down to it."

The rat did not react, just lay there with eyes closed, burrowed deep in the blanket.

"And you're not as weak as you think," Remus tried another approach. "I mean look at what you've accomplished, you're an Animagus, and that takes more than just a bit of skill!"

"And you're a Gryffindor," James added after a moment of silence. "The Hat doesn't sort people without reason. My dad told me something once before heading out on another mission. He said that bravery is not the same as not being afraid, and being afraid is not being weak. Bravery is being afraid, admit that and then do what needs to be done anyway," James watched the unmoving rat. "And honestly, thank you for being straight with us, I think that was quite brave of you too. And Pete... you're still our friend you know."

The rat did not move.

* * *

_AN; I apologies deeply for my crappy gift in lyrical compositions, but well. I just needed to write a Sorting hat song! thus far I duty fully followed every single rule of the Harry potter books to try and replicate the experience! so there you go! Sorting Hat song! I am still no J.K. Rowling though, unfortunately. _

_Oh yeah. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERY-ONE!_


	37. It never rain but it pours

"Where do you think you're going?" Sirius asked Regulus with his arms crossed.

Regulus stared sullenly back, fists clenched in his pockets. "Taking some air before classes start, what does it look like?" He seemed extremely annoyed.

"And what did I say last term?" Sirius raised an eyebrow smirking.

At least Regulus wasn't shouting or hitting him anymore, though his glare was quite venomous nonetheless.

"You're not skipping meals!" Sirius insisted. "I can't have you walking around looking like a skeleton, it's not fashionable."

Regulus' glare did not lessen and Sirius sighed, his voice softening. "Come on Reg, I really mean it, if I have to make sure you eat, then that's how it is," and he lead Regulus over to the Marauders at the Gryffindor table, much to Regulus' dismay, though he did not protest openly. He closed his eyes. He had wanted something like that for so long, but now that he had it he was not sure if he wanted it any longer, the price had been too high, and it was embarrassing to say the least.

Only because he knew he was observed by all of Gryffindor and wanted to avoid further humiliation did Regulus reach for some toast and started putting butter on it with a very sour expression on his face. He bloody hated being treated like he couldn't take care of himself! He had always done that after all and he was fine! He just wished people around him could see that.

Lily sighed deeply watching Regulus barely eating. He had been chewing on the same bite for the past two minutes, and it barely qualified as a bite in the first place. She couldn't help but chuckle at Sirius defeated expression, they were back alright, this was how it had been at the end of the last term, but it was necessary. Regulus had lost weight, and if they didn't take care of him, who would?

"Regulus!" a female voice called far more cheerful than any of the people sitting at the table. It was the boyish Diane Diggory, walking towards them in sure strides, her neat short hair pulled behind her ears. "How are you people? Reg, Quidditch practise next Friday, don't you forget! I need my Seeker to be sharp on, and there'll be tryouts in three weeks, so keep an eye out for a good Beater," her sharp voice was full of anticipation towards the upcoming season. Diane was the captain of the Slytherin team and had also been the one to keep Regulus in the spirit for months last year. Her reasoning was that she would not allow her star player to suddenly become incapable of playing, or Merlin forbid, catching the Snitch during the match.

"I also wanted to know if the Phoenix Fighters are still on. I've assumed they are and made sure not to schedule training on Thursdays already."

"Of course," Lily nodded. "We'll start this week as usual. Would you spread the word?"

"To those who are still interested," she flashed them a crooked smile. "I'm afraid there's an internal war raging in our house."

Regulus nodded grimly and the four Gryffindors sighed simultaneously. It had been a mess ever since Penelope died, of course many had grieved, but there were also many who were shocked and disgusted by the revelation that she was a muggleborn. It had divided the entire house; half of them were now more determined than ever to stand up against Voldemort, to avenge Penelope and support what she stood for, as well as to confirm to their new role model, Severus Snape. The other half believed so strongly in Voldemort's ideology now that they felt they had been duped by her somehow.

"Is it that bad?" James asked.

"Let's just say we are lucky to still have any armchairs left in the common room," Diane sighed reaching for the piece of bacon lying on James' plate, and then simply took a bite and chewed while looking straight ahead absentmindedly.

"Hey!" James was scandalised. "That was mine!"

Diane shrugged nonchalantly. "Take another one from the plate," she pointed at the silver platter filled with bacon and licked her fingers clean.

"That's beside the point. _You_ could have taken from the plate!"

Diane smirked. "Yours was closer, and you need to stay thin to be a good Quidditch player anyway, Potter. If you gain more weight your broom will loose speed, unless you want to switch position to Beater, then of course you may eat as much as you want. But then again, you wouldn't want to lose that pretty boy looks of yours, now would you?"

James gaped and looked down at his quite frankly skinny frame, before looking up at her, as if not believing his own ears.

Lily sighed. "Well, at least we know the wheat from the chaff now," she decided to get back on track before the argument evolved too much, "within Slytherin I mean."

James nodded. "The younger Slytherins seem to be so taken with Severus they totally discarded any idea of Voldemort," he frowned thoughtfully. "And the older ones have either seen light or not... no offence Diggory," he quickly added.

Diane sneered and lifted her eyebrow. "As if I could ever take offence from a twerp like you, Potter," her eyes caught the glinting badge on his chest. "What's that? You've made it Head Boy? Congratulations, but don't you think I'll go easy on you on the Quidditch field now."

"Please," James snorted. "My team's going to stomp yours into the ground!"

"In your dreams," Diane rolled her eyes clearly thinking James to be delusional. "I'll admit your Chasers are pretty good and the Keeper could be worse..."

"Hey!" Sirius protested.

"But with such a lousy Seeker and my star Seeker at hand," she gave Regulus' shoulder a solid clap, almost shoving him into his plate actually. "Your team doesn't stand a chance!"

"No way in hell!" angry red spots appeared on James' cheeks.

"Whatever you say," Diane smirked waving over her shoulder as she walked away. "Remember to stay clear of the bacon, Potter, it isn't good for you."

"Of all the guts," James gritted his teeth and was about to take a bite of bacon, but stopped in mid-movement looking at the piece in his hand suspiciously, before throwing it down on his plate in annoyance. "Our team is far better than hers! She's just afraid of us, yeah, that's it! And I can afford to eat bacon, I'm downright skinny!"

"Guys and their Quidditch," Lily rolled her eyes, but smirked at Regulus, who suddenly seemed to have found his appetite. That however was totally lost on Sirius and James, who were busy discussing tactics to drive the other Quidditch teams into the ground... with the Slytherin Seeker sitting right next to them no less. Boys will always be boys Lily mussed watching the owl with the morning paper land in Remus' cereal.

"Merlin," Remus spluttered cleaning milk off his face. "At least do try and aim," he growled at the owl standing in front of him with an outstretched leg, ready to receive its payment. He gave it a Knut and retrieved his wet paper, drying it with a flick of his wand.

"Why do you even read that?" Sirius asked. "It's absolutely boring."

"Considering the current political climate I'm surprised you think that actually," Remus retorted.

Lily smiled. "I'm the first to take it of your hands when you're done."

"As usual," Remus shrugged unfolding it and looking down. His eyes widened suddenly. "Er... I think it might take a while before I'm done."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Well, what does it say?" Something was clearly up.

"Yeah Moony," James smirked. "What does it say?" and he snatched the paper away to have a look, only to pale the moment his eyes landed on the front page.

"Well?" Lily frowned concerned.

"Er," James licked his lips nervously. "It's nothing important, really... nothing worth reading, pure hogwash."

And since everyone was concentrating on Lily, Regulus was able to take James by surprise and snatch the paper out of his hands to have a look. He rolled his eyes. "Like you could even try and hide that from her. It will be all over the school in less than an hour."

"What is it?" Lily grumbled impatiently.

Sirius sighed. "Here," he took the paper from Regulus and handed it to her. "Happy now, Reg?"

He received only a sullen glare in return.

"Oh Merlin," Lily breathed. The first thing she saw was an unflattering picture of Severus, followed by a long article describing him as a wanted dark wizard and an ardent follower of Voldemort.

"Ironically enough," James commented leaning forward, "had that article come out a year ago I would have believed it."

Lily sighed, feeling exhausted already. "Me too," she had to admit. "But he really had changed for the better."

"The Death Eaters must have gotten to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at last," Sirius groaned, "or at least a part of it.

"Not a great one hopefully," Lily mused. "And the question is also what Sev is going to do. A small inconvenience like that is hardly going to stop him."

"Let's just hope he's good at disguises," James put in.

Lily frowned. "He must be. It would explain why we didn't see him at Diagon Alley. He was there, but in disguise."

James looked surprised. "You mean you don't know if he's good at disguises?"

"Look, there're hundreds of things I don't know about him," she snapped annoyed. "Mostly what he can or can't do. But he's capable of a lot, that much I can tell you for sure."

Shortly after that McGonagall passed by with their schedules for the year. She lifted an eyebrow at the sight of Regulus, but gave Lily an approving smile, though her usual stern demeanour was back when the boys turned to her.

"Lovely," Remus smiled looking over his schedule, "nothing for me Monday morning."

Lily glanced down and saw that she had Potions first thing after breakfast.

"But you have quite a tough Tuesday though," Sirius pointed out looking over Remus' shoulder. "And it seems like we'll have to wait until Thursday to check out Dawlish."

"You maybe," Regulus smirked just having gotten his schedule from Slughorn, who had passed by the Gryffindor table on his way to the Slytherin one. "I'm heading there first thing today."

The Marauders were giving him very interested looks, making him immediately regret his forwardness and return to his breakfast in silence.

He joined Diane and Jonas on his way to Defence, the two other Slytherin Phoenix Fighters from his year. They were about to enter the classroom when a well known Ravenclaw girl skipped down the corridor behind them looking as messy and flustered as ever. She stopped so abruptly that she actually slipped and fell on her bum, before scrambling up again.

"Are you okay there?" Regulus asked with a lifted eyebrow.

Blushing furiously Lieve nodded. "Aye, never better."

"Are you sure?" Regulus prodded having a feeling that something was up.

Lieve simply gave him an obviously fake grin, before swallowing and marching into the classroom with her head held high.

Diane and Regulus exchanged looks. "Well, that was odd."

Diane scratched the back of her head looking after the Ravenclaw. "Everything about that girl is odd, so no surprise there."

Regulus could only agree, merely frowning when he stepped inside and took a seat somewhere in the middle. He had hoped to have the table for himself, but was suddenly joined by Lieve.

"Do ye' mind?" She asked smiling nervously. "Everywhere else is taken." And indeed it was.

Regulus was inwardly annoyed, but just nodded shortly receiving a genuinely appreciative smile. But after she had sat down and arranged her things, her cheerful façade slipped once again, revealing that haunted look plaguing her in her weak moments, when she thought no one would notice. Regulus was left to wonder if anyone else had picked up upon it yet. She was not well he could tell and at some point she would have to either bend or break. It also explained why her school robes were hanging rather loosely around her frame. He sighed deeply; he neither liked nor disliked her, but there was no denying that they were stuck in the same boat as of now.

They sat in an awkward silence, as if unsure whether they should start conversation or not. In the end Lieve decided to at least try it, something Regulus knew she often did. "So, are ye' happy to be back?"

"It's fine," he shrugged.

Lieve's fingers drummed on the table for a couple of moments. "The weather's nice, ain't it?"

"It is," was his dull response.

Regulus was very relieved when Professor Dawlish marched into the room back straight and forcefully closed the door, before sizing up the class. "Well, look at you. So, you are my N.E.W.T. students," he acknowledged making his way to the front.

"I have decided to accept students with merely an acceptable in their O.W.L.s, but only because of the troubled times we are facing. In my belief, everyone should be able to defend themselves. However," he turned to the room, "I will also expect everyone to put hard work into it and do their best. If you are diligent and abiding you can expect to pass, but if I see you slack off, you will be out of here faster than you can blink," he crossed his arms. "Basic Defence should be imprinted on the inside of your skulls by now, especially considering the advanced level of this class and the times we are living in." He began walking between the tables. "Whether you are a pretty girl," he glanced at a beautiful, dark-skinned Ravenclaw, "or a tomboy outsider hating their family," he glanced at Diane, "or a bit on the heavy side," he looked at a Hufflepuff boy, "it doesn't matter to the dangers lurking behind every corner." He gestured at the paintings showing the effects of various curses, which Regulus was looking at in fascination. That was probably why he had missed Dawlish suddenly appearing right in front of him, leaning in close... too close. "Whether you are of fine, old blood used to silver spoons, dark magic and superior manners, or a dirty farm girl looking and behaving like a pig and who couldn't utter a proper sentence to save her life."

Regulus and Lieve gulped simultaneously.

A rough laugh escaped Dawlish's mouth. "Though there is some potential here, two total opposites sitting side by side and yet looking like a team. Very good indeed! Class," he straightened again, "as an Auror it is important to be able to cooperate with the most unlikely people. Your partner must compliment you or you will be of no use to each other, even though there is a greater risk for clashes. It takes training and patience to work together peacefully, but that is what you must, cooperate with people the least resembling you and you will be stronger. Of course not everyone is capable of that, it takes great maturity to realise you may not always be right. So," Dawlish was back to the front of the room, "let us see how capable you are. I find there is only one way to really know for sure, the practical way. How many of you can do a Stunner on reflex?" he asked with a grim smile on his scarred face.

Gingerly, Regulus raised his hand. The other four Phoenix Fighters in the room did the same.

"Deflection?"

Everyone raised their hand at that.

"Shielding Charm?"

The hands stayed up.

"Very well," Dawlish nodded. "Show me! Up with you and... Oh, wait! Who in here can do more than four defensive spells on reflex?"

Only the Phoenix Fighters raised their hands, and even they did so tentatively.

"Well," Dawlish eyed them speculatively. "You will have to show me by the end of class."

Regulus and Lieve looked at each other. "You think we are up to his standards?"

Lieve shook her head. "We're Manticore food!" her voice did not indicate if she was serious or not.

And yes, it had been a rather exertive hour indeed, lots of drills and spell casting, Dawlish constantly hammering down on them... 'not powerful enough', 'do it nonverbal', 'stand straight', 'be ready to dodge' ...nothing was good enough for him. Regulus didn't even get as much as an acknowledgement when he combusted a chair on command effortlessly. Dawlish was a rough man to be sure, but his lack of appreciation for the students' work really ticked Regulus off. He had done well! He knew he had, why couldn't Dawlish give him that much? That was on the forefront of his mind when he stomped towards the Great Hall afterwards. He stopped abruptly at the sight of Sirius, then turned around and walked away quickly, so Sirius wouldn't drag him to the Gryffindor table for some spoon feeding again. Regulus was so absolutely tired of his big brother's mothering!

If Regulus was honest with himself, he didn't know Sirius at all. It was so strange! Sirius was dotting on him since last March and acting like a goofball the rest of the time, a brain-dead goofball actually, nothing new there, and yet...

All in all this summer vacation had been quite strange. It had felt like another world, that house so warm and welcoming, that unconditional friendship between the Marauders... Seeing Sirius not mad, or sullen and gloomy, nor yelling at their mother, fighting her with all his might... Until last year they had pretty much ignored each other at Hogwarts, and the few glimpses Regulus had gotten of him, he had seemed like a menacing bully or an arrogant show off. It was like Sirius had two completely different sides to him, so different that even now Regulus had difficultly figuring out the person who was his brother.

That entirely new way of living felt so weird to Regulus. He knew he liked it though, especially the aspect where he could let go of all the finery and propriety, and yet they were still so deeply rooted in him. Manners were his greatest resort in a difficult situation and now that had been taken from him, leaving him feeling exposed. And that curse of knowing that he wouldn't be where he was now if Penelope hadn't died, it was weighing him down, robbing him of appetite. The price was too high... far too high.

* * *

Lily eyed the room in front of her nervously, the same room the Phoenix Fighters had always used, the one Severus had found for Penelope. Was it..? It didn't feel that long ago. Lily glanced at Regulus, who stood beside her and Remus. They were the unofficial engine of the Phoenix Fighters now and Lily regarded that responsibility with great pride. It was an honour to keep the club running, to maintain its original purpose with Regulus help.

Slowly, people began trickling in, Lieve one of the first. "How are ye', girl?"

"Great," Lily smiled weakly, "and ready to start through." She didn't sound too confident in herself though.

James and Sirius came in soon after followed by more. Lily counted up, not everyone from last year had made it, some people had left school, some had decided not to come, and some were just fan girls vying for the Marauder's attention. Lily sighed and shook her head, eight Slytherins, five Gryffindors including herself, five Hufflepuffs, three of them were fawning girls, and four Ravenclaws, two fawning girls there.

"Right," Lily stepped forward. "Good to see so many have made it, and good to see some new faces," she smiled at the fan girls not really meaning it. "Since this is our first meeting of the year and we have new intake, I suggest we spend today talking and getting to know each other. This club was created for most different people to get better acquainted and thereby learn to accept and respect each other. That's what we are doing here," she looked pointedly at the fan girls, who had so far made a good job of staying away from the Slytherins. "It's important to know that within this school we have someone to rely upon, no matter their house. We all have people out there who are in danger, many of us have even lost someone already," she swallowed. "And that's why we need to stand together, as a group, be there for each other. That said," she straightened, "we are going to introduce ourselves and then say something about our situation, to break the ice and begin to build up trust to each other."

The door opened and they all turned around to watch another Slytherin come in, sporting slick blond hair, mad blue eyes and a wide grin. "Good evening," Barty Crouch Jr. closed the door behind him.

Regulus glared at him through narrowed eyes. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Crouch feigned innocence. "I just wanted a place to fit in. I heard this was an open club, so I decided to drop by."

The people in the room exchanged wary looks.

"Of course," Lily managed to utter. "We were just about to start, if you would please sit down."

Crouch nodded smiling softly and came over to sit down right beside Regulus, to his great discomfort, and it seemed like it was just what he had intended.

"Erm, right," Lily fumbled before getting back on track, or trying at least. "As I said before, we are going to start with introducing ourselves, telling something about who we are and what our situation is in the war." Truth be told, Lily had never been good at that talking thing, but nothing for it. "My name is Lily Evans, my parents are muggles and are currently on the run. For their own safety I don't know where they are, neither do I know where my boyfriend is, only that he's out there fighting, and I want to join him as well prepared as possible," she finished and turned to James beside her, nodding for him to continue.

James flashed an assuring smile at her before facing the group. "My name is James Potter, my dad is an Auror and because of that he and my mum are targets. She's doing her best to stay safe while he's at work, but one can never know. I also have a friend out there who's on his own, someone whom I owe a lot and want to help. I would do anything in my power to ensure my friends' and family's safety."

Sirius sighed deeply. "I'm Sirius Black, and all my friends are targets, highly wanted targets actually. They are constantly in danger and I want to do my part to protect them."

He glanced at Lieve, who seemed completely lost in thought, staring ahead unseeing.

"Lieve? Carrot?" he snapped his fingers in front of her face.

She did not react though.

"Carrot, say something!" he demanded concerned.

"The rain is plain in Spain!" she said slowly, still staring ahead.

Sirius blinked. "That's very nice Lieve, but it's your turn... though you don't have to of course, if you don't want."

"Oh, aye... I mean yes, I mean..." she sighed deeply looking down to the ground. "Me... me dad is..." she sighed again "...gone." She chose to use that word instead of the more obvious one, probably not wanting to aggravate the already depressing mood. "I dinnae know where me mum is, me friends wanna fight and I wanna fight with them. I'm not scared!" she declared firmly, as if trying to reassure herself more than anyone else. "I wanna fight!"

Sirius was not the only one looking concerned, she was a bit off for sure. "Hey," Lily smiled at her comfortingly. "We all are scared, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

Lieve blushed deeply, but managed to smile in genuine appreciation.

Regulus frowned. "I'm Regulus Black, and I think we are forgetting something here, namely to say what we are up against and why. I once thought I would join You-Know-Who sooner or later. I thought that what Severus was saying about him was just hogwash. I didn't get until it was almost too late that he was right, that You-Know-Who is evil. The length he would go to reach a goal, no matter how pointless it is... He doesn't have any real power and therefore can't offer his followers anything substantial. He kills people just because he can... because he's unable to feel anything!" He sighed. "I found out the hard way, seeing him enjoy killing, enjoy torturing his followers... the ones who fear You-Know-Who the most are his closest servants. What kind of Lord is that may I ask?" Regulus looked down. "I'm done."

"Oh you touch me," Barty Crouch simpered. "Really, I mean it, right here," he pointed at his heart. "You touch me so much that it changes everything!" His smile was quite sadistic. "Just look at you all, so close," he clapped his hands and focused on Lily. "It's so inspiring! The targeted muggleborn pines over her lost boyfriend." Lily bristled, but reined her anger in, determined to be the better person. "The wealthy parents' boy is worried about his mummy and daddy," Crouch turned to James. "I can so feel with that you know! Mydearest daddy is in a similar position after all," he shook his head. "Tsk, tsk, he's risking so much for the greater good every minute of every day, it's so horrible!"

Nothing in Crouch's tone indicated sincerity, only that unnerving smile and the madness in his eyes. "I mean, he's actually doing something instead of sitting here and sharing sob stories, but what else can you do," he looked at Sirius, "when your family disowned you? But you still worry so much, because you have such a big heart." Crouch grinned wider. "I think my own heart grew three times hearing little Carrot missing her mommy and daddy, though she's brave, not scared at all. I'm sure she doesn't have problems with nightmares, and no need to prove herself to all these good friends, who would never hide anything important from her, now would they?" he glanced at Remus. "But then again, would it all still hold together if a dirty secret escaped?"

"Stop it!" Lily had enough. "You can't just sit there and insult us!"

"I don't see how I am," Crouch feigned innocence. "I'm just saying what a magnificent assembly you are."

Lily was about to object, but found that she had little reason to throw him out. No one had been thrown out of the Phoenix Fighters before, it was not the nature of the club, and she was pretty lost as to what she was supposed to do.

"And Reggy, little bro Reggy, how you've grown in mind," Crouch continued. "That speech you gave there, magnificent! So nice of you to care about little innocent muggleborns, though I have to ask myself, if the Dark Lord has no real power, then why is the flower over there so scared? Why are you all so determined to become stronger in futile hope that you may defy him? He is strong," Crouch's smile became reverent, "and growing stronger every day while the people fighting him grow weaker. So much power..." The glint in Crouch's eyes Lily couldn't help but recognise. Severus' eyes had held it once too... that greed, that lust for power, the one thing that scared her the most. "Thus it's only logical that if you join him you get stronger as well. Why would you be afraid of being close to power?"

"_Out!_" Lily demanded rising from her seat. "We do not speak of Voldemort fondly in here. He killed the founder of this club in cold blood and we are fighting in her honour, so out with you!"

Crouch blinked at her. "I still don't see what I did wrong."

"_I SAID, GET OUT!_" Lily yelled.

Crouch lifted an eyebrow at her.

She scoffed, went over and pulled him out of his chair. "Get out, right now," she sneered into his face, "and don't come back if you can't behave."

"Better do as she says," James appeared at her shoulder along with Remus and Regulus. "You don't want to be on her bad side, trust me, I speak from experience."

Crouch just smirked twisting out of Lily's grip. "You could have just asked nicely, if you didn't want me here," he shrugged. "See, I'm going, and I am behaving. I really think that was uncalled for, Miss Evans," and he walked out calmly closing the door behind him.

Everyone was just staring wide-eyed.

"That," Sirius took a breath, "was the creepiest thing I've ever witnessed."

"Who _was_ that?" James asked. "That boy was just not alright... definitely up to something."

Several people nodded murmuring their agreement.

"He's in my dorm," Mathew Flint shrugged. "And erm... yeah, he's not quite right in the head... I mean we are in the same year as Penelope was, and when she died he..." Mathew swallowed. "He seemed sort of happy about it, waking us in the middle of the night to jeer and taunt," he turned to Lily. "Thanks for throwing him out. Honestly, he was a way out of line."

"Nobody thinks I'm blaming Slytherins as a house?" Lily asked a little concerned. "I didn't mean to."

Diane Diggory shook her head. "As I said earlier, we are at war inside our own house. All of those who are against You-Know-Who are in this room, and Barty Crouch Jr. obviously does not belong to that category."

"Don't worry," Regulus huffed, "all he wanted was to mess around with our heads."

Lily sighed. "Let's just continue then, shouldn't we?" She sat down and smiled at a Hufflepuff girl next in the line encouragingly. "Your turn."

She looked quite lost Lily found, but apparently kind, with curly brown hair and auburn eyes. "I'm Leila Dickinson," she finally said.

"Oh, you must be David's sister!" Lily smiled warmly. "He has mentioned that you'd like to join at some point. Where is he by the way?"

"He's dead."

A stunned silence descended upon them.

Leila looked at Lily with those auburn eyes full of emotion. "Both our parents are muggles. They got to us during the holidays," she told them in a distant tone.

Another Hufflepuff girl moved over and embraced her. "It's okay, we won't mock you for it."

Many looked away clearly uncomfortable.

"I think it's enough," Lily sighed heavily. "I'm not nearly as good at this as Penelope was, and it's starting to get simply awkward."

"Why don't we practise the Shielding Charm then?" Regulus asked standing up. "Come on people, let's just get down to it!"

And with that they all scrambled to get into position, the newcomers following along.

Lily rubbed her forehead in resignation, Penelope and Sev had made it look so easy. They were a perfect team. Pen took care of the social part, having nerve enough to challenge people, to cut the crap and bring them out of their shells, plus that Slytherin slyness to sometimes trick them into opening up. Sev was the perfect instructor, knowing any Defence spell there was, and had such a power and passion about him, inspiring everyone to do their best. The younger Slytherins had been swallowing his every word, while staring at him with admiration. If just one of them were here it would go a lot smoother, but nothing for it she supposed. She was determined to keep it running, she simply had to.

* * *

Lily sat in the common room frowning over her Potions homework. What was written in the book was incorrect according to what Sev had told her about the moon stone. It simply did not work that way, but she couldn't remember how it was supposed to work, so she was toying with the thought of just writing what the book said and get it over with. No doubt it was what Slughorn wanted her to write anyway. The thing just was that there was a difference between brewing a potion and just following the recipe. Any idiot could follow a recipe, but only a few could become true Potions Masters. Lily huffed in annoyance. She had spent too much time with Sev last year obviously, but dear Merlin, how she was missing him!

An owl landed in front of her purring, asking to be petted. Lily barely managed to grab the scattering parchments before Mona skidded closer, pressing her head against her hand.

"Mona, you're impossible," Lily rolled her eyes. "I have to tell you that tomorrow you'll make another delivery to my family, so you should probably rest."

Mona just clicked her beak in delight.

"Happy for any excuse to see your mate I guess," Lily smiled sadly. "At least he's bloody bound to you..." She looked around to make sure no one had heard her. James and Sirius were sitting hunched over Potions essays similar to hers, while Remus was working on Care of Magical Creatures, and Lieve on Charms, occasionally stealing glances at... James?

"Look," James suddenly spoke up. "I have a bad feeling about that Barty Crouch fellow."

Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "We all have a bad feeling about that creep, mate, that kid's just not right in his head."

"He's off the bonkers and across the ghoul," Lieve added from her spot lying on her stomach on the floor, looking into a book.

Lily had not the freaking idea what that could possibly mean, so she decided not to ask.

"No, I mean... I think he's planning something," James elaborated, "something to do with You-Know-Who."

"The same thing Severus was planning last year?" Remus seemed sceptical. "Prongs, you really should learn not to assume things."

"But Severus _was_ actually up to something," James defended himself. "Alright, his intentions were good, but he had something going," he frowned. "I just don't think one could say the same for Crouch."

"I agree," Lily suddenly put in. "I think he's actively working for Voldemort already."

James and Sirius looked at her surprised. "Really? I mean..."

"I know what you mean," she rolled her eyes. "He's still at school and everything," she swallowed. "But there's no denying that he's up to serious stuff, really serious."

"I think that too," Remus smiled at their surprised faces. "Sorry James, I just wanted to make a point, but fact remains that we've seen him in Diagon Alley. That he's in league with Death Eaters is enough reason for me to keep an eye on him."

"He's in league with Death Eaters?" James asked flabbergasted, Sirius and Lieve wore the same expression.

"Oh, we didn't tell you," Lily uttered chastised. "In Diagon Alley... he was with a man called Rookwood, whom Regulus recognised as a Death Eater. They were the ones who have discovered us."

"And you didn't think that important?" James raised an eyebrow.

"I forgot! Merlin," Lily huffed. "We were chased by Death Eaters, and Sev was obviously there!"

"Sorry guys," Remus looked somewhat embarrassed. "I guess my mind was on other matters."

"That's not like you," Sirius commented wryly.

"I saw Fenrir Greyback for the first time since... you know," Remus explained gracing him with an annoyed glare. "So forgive me if I was a little distracted."

"Who's Fenrir Greyback?" Lieve asked immediately.

"A Death Eater... er... sort of. It doesn't matter Lieve," Remus brushed her off, leaving her absolutely gobsmacked at the careless dismissal.

James sighed. "In any case, that Crouch is in league with Death Eaters makes him a lot more dangerous."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "I hate to ask, but..." he hesitated. "What do you think the chances are that he's marked already?"

They thought it over in silence.

Remus frowned. "He's only fifteen. Who would make a fifteen-year-old a Death Eater?"

Lily snorted. "An evil madman perhaps?" she sneered sarcastically. "I'm pretty sure he would have marked Regulus last March, if he had gone through with it," she sighed before continuing. "And Crouch is not just any fifteen-year-old, he seems to be quite mad and his father is Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Remember, you told me?"

"Merlin," James ruffled his hair. "How barking mad is this?"

"But pretty logical too," Sirius commented. "I mean think about it, if he's a Death Eater and his father is the Head of the Department, then it explains how the Death Eaters have gotten a grip on it."

The others just stared at him stunned.

"You're right, that could be the connection," Lily acknowledged. "It's very probable at least!"

James eyed her calculatingly. "I didn't know you were the rash type."

Lily shrugged. "My mother has always told me that I get into trouble because I never think it through."

"So we all agree to keep an eye on him from now on?" James asked.

"Of course," Lily rolled her eyes. "And you're not sneaking around without me!"

James chuckled. "Never in my life would I've thought I'd hear you say that."

"Shush you," Lily grumbled good-naturedly. "And I mean it, I don't want to sit around doing nothing."

"Me neither," Lieve added carefully, regarding them with defiant, blue eyes. "I wanna help!"

James smirked. "That's part of being a Marauder," he nodded. "But I'm afraid there's nothing to do right now and this essay is due tomorrow."

"Like you would care about that," Sirius grinned, though his own essay was almost finished.

"It's the deal if you want to be accepted at the Aurors', Pads," James grinned turning over a page.

Lieve however didn't look amused. "Who _is_ Fenrir Greyback?" she asked once again.

"I told you it's not important," Remus' voice sounded strained.

"Then tell me what's the Wolfsbane Potion at least," Lieve demanded suddenly.

"Er..." Remus swallowed heavily.

"Why are ye' always ill Remus? And why do ye' always look like that whenever I ask?" she glared at all of them this time.

There was a complete silence while her eyes travelled from face to face, but then finally she closed her book and started collecting her things.

"Carrot, you're going?" Sirius asked.

"Aye," she nodded. "I'm keeping ye' from having a proper conversation obviously, and the last thing I want is to be a bother." She stood up. "G'night," she gave them a tiny forced smile. "See ye' tomorrow," and she went towards the portrait hole and climbed through.

Everyone's eyes turned to Remus at once.

"What?" he asked taken aback.

"Mate," James started carefully, "seriously, she's going to figure it out sooner or later."

"Well," Remus swallowed. "We don't really know that, do we?"

Lily shook her head and opened her book giving up. "Men! Idiots!" she grumbled. "The lot!"


	38. The night of the Marauders

Remus felt like he always did in the hours before the full moon, even though the taste of old socks, mould, rotten meat and other things he really didn't want to think about still lingered in his mouth, indicating that he had taken the Wolfsbane Potion and his mind would be fine, he still felt it, that gut-knotting fear. He was always terrified before the full moon, terrified to lose control, wake up somewhere unknown and realise that he had done something terrible.

McGonagall accompanied him through the hallways of Hogwarts. Due to the potion the Shrieking Shack had been abandoned. There was no reason anymore for him to spend the night in an abandoned house, lonely and cold, far away from any human beings. Instead, a nice, warm room hidden away in the dungeons had been prepared for him. He could be simply locked in and sleep through the transformation on the rug in front of the fireplace. Besides, with all this terrible things happening around, it didn't appeal to the teachers to have him outside all alone. Thing just was that he had never slept during the full moon before. He was out exploring with his transformed friends, though McGonagall of course did not know that. They all would be beyond in trouble if she ever found out.

"Is there anything else you need, Mr. Lupin?" she asked opening the door. Every month, every single month since his first year she had asked him that question and Remus had always given her the same answer.

"No, thank you, Professor," he smiled politely.

"Very well," McGonagall nodded. "Good luck. I will see you in the morning."

Remus could not help but smirk. It was the same conversation every single month. She was too intelligent to wish him good night, thus she wished him good luck. "Thank you, Professor. Good night."

McGonagall nodded once and closed the door. A click indicated that the door was now locked for any intruders. Shame she didn't know that the intruders were already there. The room was really nice and could pass for good living quarters. There was a large fireplace and in front of it a thick rug perfect for a dog to have a nap on, though Remus didn't want to succumb to that. There was also an ordinary bed and a small table with water and food on it, put away on the shelf, as if no one wanted to embarrass him, were two dog bowls he could put them in to last him through the night, before he transformed. He eyed the farthermost corner of the room with lips pursed in amusement.

"Hey guys, have fun huddling in the corner?"

The invisibility cloak was dropped. "You're always in such a good mood," James snorted.

Remus shrugged and started opening his shirt. "We are trying."

"So," Sirius sat on the bed swinging his feet. "What are we going to do on this fine full moon night?"

"Not running around in the Forbidden Forest that's for sure," Remus shook his head neatly folding his shirt to put it on the top shelf and out of reach together with his wand. "Remember the spiders we ran into before the summer holidays? I think they're still sour over it."

"So it's the castle then," Sirius grinned. "You know we could..."

"We are _not _scaring girls!" Remus cut him off.

"Whatever," Sirius pouted while James was trying to hold in his chuckle.

Remus was just about to pull his socks off when something caught his ear. "What was that?"

"What?" Sirius started looking around, but did not see anything.

"Shh," Remus gestured for him to be quiet. "It sounds like scrabbling." And indeed, there were small scraping noises.

James drew his wand going on alert. "I hear it. It's getting louder."

Sirius drew his wand as well. "There!" he pointed at the shelf. "Something is up there!"

The dog bowls rattled slightly and a brown, furry something appeared from behind them, its whiskers moving as it sniffed the air.

"WORMTAIL!" the three boys yelled simultaneously.

The rat looked around and then down, going a little backwards and forwards, as if it couldn't decide what to do next.

"Here let me help you," James carefully picked up the rat to place it on the floor, grinning like a maniac. "Oh man, mate, it's good to see you!"

Sirius was laughing. "You scared us good, Wormy, I think you're learning!"

The rat was silent for a moment, but then suddenly transformed into Peter, small and chubby as he was, even in human form. Straightening up he looked around, nervously shuffling his feet. "Hey."

"Hey," Remus smiled happily from his position on the bed. "Thank you for coming."

Peter lightened up a little, before eying James and Sirius somewhat warily.

"That goes for us too," James nodded. "You're okay?"

"I'm fine. You?" it was the first time since the mansion that they were having a civil conversation, if you don't count Peter's outburst on their first day back at school that is.

James shrugged. "Considering all the crap that's going on, yeah, remarkably well."

"Good," Peter nodded not looking up.

And suddenly Sirius jumped up to put a firm arm around Peter's shoulder. "Good of you to have come around, Pete!"

Peter smiled sheepishly looking at all of them in turn. Remus also smiled and rose up wearing only trousers and a blanket wrapped around him. He went up to Peter and put a hand on his shoulder. "We _are_ happy you're here," he softly pushed his fist against his chin in a friendly gesture. "Merlin Peter, you really are a Gryffindor!"

Peter tried for a smirk, though it came out rather unsure. "It's not like I'm not happy to be here too."

"That's great," James fell over them completing the circle. "The original Marauders together again, just as we should!"

"The original?" Peter asked surprised.

"Let's just say you have some catching up to do," James smirked. "We'll fill you in later."

Peter regarded them seriously. "I'm coming back at full moons, but what I said still stands. I'm not a fighter."

James, Sirius and Remus nodded in agreement. "Of course, you don't have to do anything you don't want to," James reassured him. "I promise we won't take you anywhere without asking, and I'm going to respect what you've to say in the future."

Peter nodded firmly, smiling nervously a moment later though. The other Marauders' good spirits were rather contagious.

A while after that, Remus was sitting in front of the fireplace, wearing only a blanket around his shoulders. Peter was sitting beside him and beside Peter Sirius. On Remus' other side was James. Peter was the centre piece probably for the first time ever, and all of them were just staring into the fire, enjoying its warmth on their faces. Remus was feeling the prickling in his body for some time now, most of the day in fact, though the moment he had swallowed that dreary Wolfsbane Potion the beastly urges bothering him had vanished. He had not noticed that when he had taken it for the first time ever, since he had been so afraid that Severus had poisoned him.

Suddenly, Remus jerked his body stiffening and let out a growl. When he began twisting in pain the other boys slowly and respectfully moved away from him. He was feeling every moment of it in the worst way possible. His body did not like the form it was forced into, that much was for sure. Finally, he collapsed laying there for a while with his eyes closed, before looking up at the grim standing in front of him and the rat by its paws, being not much larger than the paw actually. The dog tilted its head towards the door and Remus noticed that it was open, the stag stood outside in the hallway waiting for them.

And before Remus knew it they all were running happily through the hallways of Hogwarts. Into the Great Hall they went tumbling gleefully among the empty benches, to the Defence classroom, where Remus touched one of the dark detectors with his snout, so it turned scarlet for Dawlish to find in the morning, and up to the Phoenix Fighters room, where Remus and Sirius began circling each other, pretending to practise fighting, only after Padfoot rolled across the room and nearly squashed Peter under him did the fighting stop. He looked concerned at the rat as it slowly crawled out of its hiding place to stand face to face with him. When his breath washed over it the rat fall backwards and scurried away stopping in front of the stag's hooves and holding a small paw on its wrinkled nose, wearing a very human expression of dismay. It was quite obvious what it was trying to say. 'His breath stinks!'

Suddenly, Remus' ears shifted and he caught the sound of footsteps outside. The animals looked at each panicking, especially the wolf. "Students, annoying, bratty students! Always running about at night," the voice belonged unmistakably to Argus Filch. "Wait until I get you!"

Before they could decide what to do Wormtail squeaked and ran for the door, squeezing himself through the crack on the side. The remaining animals looked at each other in bewilderment, until they heard a high-pitched scream followed by a hiss cats usually made.

"A RAT!" Filch yelled. "GET THAT FILTH, MRS. NORRIS, GET IT!" the animals heard the noises move away and further down the corridor, before they ceased entirely.

The dog gave a delighted bark that sounded a lot like a laugh and rolled unto its back. Moony shook his head in disbelief and hinted at the door, as if to say let's get out of here. The stag complied bowing its head gracefully.

They hurried back to the room in the dungeons. James transformed into human form and opened the door letting the others inside. "Yes!" he exclaimed pointing down the corridor. "There he is!"

Wormtail came running in right in between James' feet. "Mate, that was awesome!" James grinned. "You saved our necks for sure!"

The rat lay panting at the dog's paws, clearly out of breath. The dog bent down and licked it across the back, making it squeak in dismay and run over to the wolf, in hope it would not succumb to such disgusting behaviour.

James shook his head at Padfoot before addressing the rat. "You're okay there, Pete? That seemed like quite a tumble to me," it was more than one incident tonight he was referring to.

The rat nodded drowsily and curled up beside the wolf on the rug in front of the fireplace. Remus yawned in his wolf form, stretching out a bit before curling up. He could feel the rat leaning against him and figured that with his mind intact it was actually quite nice to rest in that way. Before long they were joined by the dog on the other side, wagging its tale a bit.

Moony stayed in that position with the rat and dog beside him, until he felt the tell-tale warmth spreading through his body and the relief of his natural shape snapping into place after being held in an unnatural position. That pain was far more manageable actually. With a last good pop of his poor, abused skeleton he stretched his human arms over his head and rolled his shoulders, joints cracking. A blanket was thrown right on top of him.

"Your bony arse was never a pretty sight," James commented dryly. "Please cover that up."

Remus smirked. "Delighted to," he took a deep breath and sat up wrapping the blanket around his waist. Rubbing his sore neck he rolled his head earning himself another loud crack.

"That sounds disgusting," Sirius drawled from the floor.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid my body doesn't fancy the involuntary transformation that much and it's getting worse," he sighed. "I hate to think how it's going to be when I'm thirty and older. By that time I'd have to take a day off after the full moon for sure, Wolfsbane or not."

James smiled sadly. "Maybe they have found a cure before you turn thirty. I mean, who would have thought Wolfsbane Potion would turn up a year ago?"

"Something tells me that potion was ahead of its time," Remus muttered cryptically taking down his clothes from the shelf. His eyes landed on the rug next to Sirius, who despite having turned back into a human had decided not to get up. "Mate, I think he's asleep," he gestured at the rat laying there with its eyes closed and breathing rhythmically.

"I think you're right," Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "I've actually never noticed how easily he could get hurt in that form. I mean, Mrs. Norris could've eaten him." He grinned broadly. "You know, it's nice to see him grow a spine, who knows where it's going to lead."

James smirked. "And he did safe our sorry arses. Had Filch seen Moony we would've been done for!"

Remus felt his appreciation for Peter rise considerably as well. "That was pretty cool. Who knew he had it in him?"

"Well, now at least we know why he's a Gryffindor," he sighed lying down in the bed with his feet hanging from the side. "He had to have it in him somewhere. I guess we just never allowed it to show."

Remus looked somewhat defeated. "Well, he was right you know. He was the outsider in the group."

"So what do we do?" Sirius asked.

"Treat him like an equal," Remus shrugged while pulling up his pants. "That's really the only thing to do."

"And who knows," James added. "I mean he had come this far already, maybe he wants to fight without knowing it."

"So you're saying it's like reversed psychology, that if we say don't come he'll probably come?" Sirius scratched the back of his head.

James blinked. "Honestly, I didn't even think that far, but you're right, who knows? He's here and that's what matters right now, everything else is out of our hands."

"Yeah," Remus nodded yawning, feeling quite exhausted, like he usually did after the full moon. He was probably going to sleep the entire night and day away as soon as his eyes closed. "We must hold together. Isn't that what they all keep saying?"

"Get some sleep, Moony," James smirked. "We should probably be going." He looked at the rat, before shrugging and just picking it up carefully, confirming their theory that it really was asleep. He put it in his pocket and gestured for Sirius to get under the cloak. Remus barely heard them leave or the click indicating that the door was locked once again, seeing as he was out cold as soon as his head had hit the pillow. Though in his sleep he was smiling slightly warmed by the thought that Peter had chosen to come back to support him. He was really lucky to have such damn good friends.


	39. And unpleasent suprise

Lieve had found herself in a rather unusual spot... well, unusual for her anyway, namely at the complete opposite of that dismissive attitude towards herself she was used to at Hogwarts. Usually, people rarely talked to her and whispered behind her back about how strange she was... as if she didn't know that.

As a first-year she had been a dewy-eyed little girl looking forward to getting a lot of friends her own age, since her secluded childhood in the country had prevented that. But it had turned out that it had also prevented her from knowing how to be social with the other kids in the first place. As a consequence she had been quickly marked as the weirdo of the year, though she had never really understood why and thus hadn't known what to do about it. She had been careful to guard her embarrassing little secret after all, not even the Marauders knew. She was still a weirdo, she knew that well, she had been born that way, and if people knew what she was… well, she'd better not think about it.

But suddenly it had changed. She was sitting on a windowsill in one of the hallways, looking out at the distant forest with her legs folded underneath her. Around her was a whole lot of younger students, second and third-years mostly, and all of them girls for some reason, looking at her in a way Lieve had no idea how to interpret. So all she could do was to slip into the role she knew best, that of a story teller.

"And ye' see, there's actually thousands of different species of magical animals, each country has their own. The trolls we have here in Britain are miles away from those they have in Scandinavia. Those in Scandinavia are very easily mistaken for humans, they both look and talk like it... well, as long as ye' dinnae see their tail tha' is... and dinnae upset them. Scandinavian trolls have their own magic, they do, they can curse ye' just as well as a wizard, only ye' cannae do anything about it, because their magic is so foreign. No one has ever bothered to study it closer, so there are many wizards walking around with troll curses upon them tha' no one knows how to lift. Once upon a time, a wizard spent three years with a thundercloud over his head, determined that he could remove it by himself, he was, but in the end the troll granny, who had laid the spell on him in the first place, got her way and had him come back begging for a cure," she told them secretively, "after having woken up so many nights wet to the bone, because the cloud always chose the most annoying times to rain."

Several of the children chuckled covering their mouths.

"Have you ever seen any of those?" a second-year Hufflepuff asked from the floor, where she was sitting together with her friends, "Scandinavian trolls I mean."

"Oh... aye," Lieve scratched her neck nervously. "I've been to Norway a couple of times."

"And all of the dragons and horses, too?"

"Of course," Lieve nodded. "So many species came through the farm, although as I said, we dealt with the anthrax mostly."

"Is Snape part-something?"

Lieve blinked and turned her head, looking at the twelve-year-old who had spoken. "Excuse me?"

"Snape, he's not fully human, isn't he?" the girl asked again. "So what is he? Some kind of powerful magical creature?"

"Why wouldn't he be human?" Lieve asked honestly confused.

"All that stuff he's done!" A curly-haired Gryffindor put in. "My older brother said that Snape defeated the Dark Lord in a one on one battle!"

"Tha'... is not entirely true," Lieve protested carefully.

"He beat a whole gang of Death Eaters _and _a hundred Dementors!"

"Well, I dinnae know about tha'…"

"He's going to defeat You-Know-Who!" a Ravenclaw exclaimed cutting her off. "Everyone says so!"

"I heard he's a dark wizard and You-Know-Who's secret son, who's going to rule as his right hand man," another Gryffindor whispered.

"Wha'?" Lieve exclaimed. "Come on, tha' is insane!"

And suddenly she had the complete attention of every single little girl, looking at her with beyond curious eyes.

"Urh... I mean... Severus would never join Ye'-Know-Who," she gulped. "He's fighting against him, that's for sure."

"But what if that's just a clever plan?" a Hufflepuff asked. "What if it's just what he wants us to think?"

"Nay listen, tha' is ridiculous!" Lieve protested immediately. "I dinnae know Severus all tha' well, granted, and he never liked me all tha' much. In fact… it may not be entirely untrue to say tha' he despised me, but I swear to ye', he would never ever join Ye'-Know-Who. Severus is fighting with his heart!"

"His heart?" the Gryffindor lifted her eyebrow. "That sounds stupid."

Suddenly, Lieve's mouth felt very dry. "He might not have liked me, but he dinnae treat me bad and was very welcoming towards everyone actually. He can be kind... sometimes..." She desperately tried to find a better explanation, wracking her head for it. "He would never want to disappoint Lily, _ever_!"

"Well maybe she's into it too," the Gryffindor mumbled. "I mean sneaking around with Slytherins, it's highly suspicious to me. Maybe she's working with Snape."

"Ye're off ye'r bonkers," Lieve stared wide-eyed at her. "Lily is the nicest, most giving person I know. I tell ye', she's been a very good friend to me."

"You've spent the summer holidays with her, don't you?" a Ravenclaw asked. "Did you pick up on something?"

"Wha'? Nay... I mean, like wha'?"

"And Regulus Black and Sirius Black, they are part of the Black Family. Blood purists, that whole lot," a Hufflepuff whispered to the others. "My dad has always warned me against them."

"Nay, listen..." Lieve was trying in vain.

"Isn't it right?" the Hufflepuff asked looking at Lieve. "They are trying to get the simpleminded over and win from within."

Lieve blinked trying to piece together, if the kid had just hinted at something. She somehow felt insulted, though she didn't quite get how.

"Lily Evans could be working with Snape and You-Know-Who, if you think about it, right?"

"Snape could be a vampire!"

"Don't be stupid, he's more like an ancient warlock!"

The questions were coming more and more rapidly, hammering her mercilessly. Lieve drew back not knowing how to deal with any of this, feeling twice as awkward as she usually did. Suddenly, she overbalanced and fell down on the floor.

"Ow," Lieve grunted scrambling to get up.

"Are you alright?" a concerned Ravenclaw offered her a hand.

"I'm fine," Lieve grimaced rubbing her backside, finally back on her feet.

"So, is Snape the son of the Dark Lord?" the same Ravenclaw, who had helped her up asked forcefully.

Lieve just gaped in utter shock.

"He's a vampire prince, right?" another one asked a moment later. "And Lily wants to be his princess."

They kept on pestering her with all those stupid questions, concerning herself and all of the Marauders, growing louder and louder, until something inside her just snapped.

"LISTEN!" she yelled on top of her lungs, so it rang through the entire hallway. "Severus is good, Lily is good, even if they dinnae have contact to each other. Severus has left and she tries to find him. Regulus is good, Sirius is good, nayte of them have contact to their family anymore. They all are fighting against Ye'-Know-Who and that's all there is to it! That's _all I know_! Now _leave me alone!"_

But it was all for nothing. The volume of their questions just doubled, as did the rate.

"_I said leave me alone!"_ Lieve desperately tried to find her way out of the cluster of curious youngsters, not at all feeling senior at the moment. Finally managing to push through what seemed like an enormous group of kids, she had to resort to actually running away from them, since they kept following her with even more questions about supposed dark wizards on the school grounds.

"Leave me alone!" Lieve yelled once again running down the stairs, face bewildered and steps clumsy. She almost fell down while making a turn, before suddenly bumping into someone and landing on her bum anyway.

"Wow, Carrot!" she hadn't noticed that it was Sirius she had bumped into. The popular always smooth, always cool, always on top, black-haired boy.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a surprisingly concerned tone, offering a hand to help her up.

"Nothing," Lieve swallowed while being pulled to her feet. "I'm fine."

"Clearly you're not," Sirius pointed out. "And that's becoming so you. Every time there is something you say no. You and Moony are both that way actually," he mused to Lieve's honest annoyance. "What has happened? Were they nasty to you again?"

"Nay, nay," Lieve shook her head. "I just wished they would leave me alone! They used to! Why does it suddenly concern them wha' I do?"

"Lieve, Lieve, Lieve," Sirius shook his head and put an arm around her. "Who are your friends now?" he asked while leading her down the hall.

"Ye' people are," Lieve answered feeling that to be true, even though she weren't so sure this very moment.

"And we also happen to be quite awesome and popular," Sirius informed her with a smirk. "So what does that make you?"

"A tag-along?"

"What? No!" Sirius looked at her startled. "It makes you awesome and popular too, and people are interested in that. What in the name of Merlin made you think you were a tag-along?" he frowned.

How about the fact that she didn't belong to them at all?

"For Merlin's sake we've spent the summer holidays together, and I for one am glad you were there!"

"Sorry," Lieve muttered.

"And stop apologising for every little thing," Sirius admonished her.

"Sorry," she repeated to Sirius' annoyed growl. Oh, great! She had done it, made him mad... Lieve felt so terrified all of a sudden, so cold and empty inside, and so unworthy. But then there was a hot sense of anger and thirst for revenge burning in her very veins... flashes of memories rushing through her head...

"_I guess this is the purest form of mudblood, a little brat with the manners of a pig." _

_She walked around the vast halls of Hogwarts, so small, a twelve-year-old... no one saw her, no one said hey, or asked how she was. The hallways were so large and empty and she was completely alone in them, which made her shiver. But more than anything, she was so vulnerable... she felt so lost. The others laughed and chatted, they thought she was strange. She could not blame them, and she could not blame them for not having noticed that it was her birthday. This feeling... this gnarling dread in her chest... she was ready to do just about anything to make it go away._

"_Lieve."_

_She saw the sad look in Professor Flitwick's eyes. "I am truly sorry, but your father…"_

_Lieve was unable to comprehend it, only managing to ask one question. "What about mum?"_

_Flitwick looked at her full of compassion. "O'Hara... We simply don't know. She is gone and you must understand that you can't go home again... it is all gone."_

_Gone! No, it can't be! Not my family! They wouldn't leave me like that! They are not gone..._

Then suddenly, she was in a completely different place.

_"It's like I have captured a smaller version of the delightful kill, she's really the splitting image of the filth! I'll hope I get to do it twice."_

And then...

_The girl... Lieve's friend... Penelope! Penelope was always good to her, somehow able to make things a little better, but the yell from the demon-like man was fatal._

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

_A green flash of light blinding Lieve for a breath of a moment... empty eyes staring from what once were... dead, they all were dead, because she was useless! A useless tag-along... and because of that she was now all alone. It was their fault, the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord, she hated them! Hated them so much... Lieve wanted revenge! Wanted to kill them, all of them!_

"Lieve, snap out of it!"

Suddenly, she felt herself being violently shaken.

"Lieve! CARROT!"

With a jerk Lieve's head shot up to stare wide-eyed into Sirius' worried face. "What happened? You were just… gone!"

Lieve blinked. She still felt just as miserable and unworthy as before, and the hate was still burning in her veins. More memories were forcing their way to the forefront of her mind, so she tried to think of something else, talk about something else. That usually worked, but not now.

Suddenly, Sirius tensed and furrowed his brows. "You feel that?"

Lieve had no idea what he was talking about, Sirius however turned slowly around. "Oh Merlin," he whispered. "What are Dementors doing here?"

She followed his gaze and felt the cold inside her heart intensify when she caught sight of the cloaked creatures floating down the corridor. She could see her breath condense in the frosty air.

"How do you fight those things?" Sirius muttered. "Get behind me!" He pulled her behind his back. "Lieve, do as I say, think of something nice!"

"I... I cannae," Lieve closed her eyes hard in an attempt to shut out the onslaught of her memories.

"Come on, we need to get away from them," he ran as fast as he could, tugging her along. "Tell me about those Granians again, you said they could fly with passengers?"

"Aye, they can carry five time their own weight, although if they need to fly, only half their own weight," Lieve answered on automatic, her insides feeling a little less cold. "Ye' should try to fly one sometime. They can fly twice as fast as a broom, they can, 60 miles per hour once they get started. Thought it's really cold up there and ye'd need to put on warm clothes, especially in the winter."

She kept on talking and Sirius smiled relieved. Now he could recognise her again and the cold he himself felt, plus the persistent voice of his mother in his head, were receding. When they had reached the library Lieve had gotten into a good talking rhythm and Sirius felt like he could finally relax.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her while she was taking a breath.

Lieve paused in the middle of a gasp and looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

"For heaven's sake," Sirius frowned. "What are you sorry for now?"

"In my head... I..." she gulped.

Sirius sighed. "It's alright to be afraid," he rolled his eyes. "Dementors are terrible creatures, that's the point of them."

"But ye' don't understand," Lieve muttered. The burning hate in her veins had dulled down for now and the urge to go and hunt down Yaxley to kill him straight away did as well, but there was no doubt that it would return. Honestly, Lieve had never been this scared in her life. She didn't want to kill anyone, and yet a moment ago she did. She shivered, but then suddenly she hugged Sirius and held onto him in a moment of weakness. "Thank ye' for keeping me sane," she said in a barely whisper.

"Hey, what are friends for?" Sirius patted her on the back awkwardly. "Don't worry about it, you were just affected by Dementors at the time, it wasn't real."

Lieve was not that sure, but let go of him nodding anyway.

"Look Carrot, listen to me," Sirius put his hands on her shoulders. "Dementors hurt those the most, who have been through terrible things. You're not weak, if you're scared of them and you're not weak if you're scared in general. To not be scared is not the same as being brave," he repeated James' lecture. "Being brave is being scared and then do what is right anyway. Only stupid people are not scared and even though you keep insisting it, you're definitely not stupid." He sighed. "I worry about you carrot, I want you to know that, and you don't have to be strong and perfect. Perfect is boring! For pities sake, everything else is so boring around here, especially now with James so busy being all adult and responsible," he grumbled annoyed.

Lieve shuffled her feet feeling uncomfortable, but warm at his praise nonetheless. "Thank ye'," she managed to murmur.

"STUDENTS OF HOGWARTS!" McGonagall's voice floated through the hallway. "EVERYONE PLEASE GATHER IN THE GREAT HALL IMMEDIATELY! STUDENTS WHO ARE COMING FROM HERBOLOGY OR CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES MUST BE EXSCORTED BY THEIR TEACHER! ALL OTHER TEACHERS PLEASE TRY AND ESCORT THE STUDENTS ON THEIR WAY! KEEP YOUR AWARENESS HIGH AND GO STRAIGHT TO THE GREAT HALL!"

"Well, now at least we could find out what that's all about," Sirius looked up at the ceiling where the voice had seemingly come from. "Come on, Carrot," he grabbed her hand to make sure she wouldn't be left behind and started to walk briskly. She still seemed pretty shaken though.

Sirius sighed. She was completely gone when the Dementors had come close, staring ahead unseeing, trembling all over. She had looked beyond terrified. Chances were that she had been affected even before they bumped into each other. She had managed to hide that she was scared pretty well though. He could only imagine what she was seeing inside her mind. Sirius closed his eyes. He himself had seen Penelope being murdered, and his mother screaming at him, smacking him for being so insolent... and then, the Lestrange manor burning while Voldemort laughed, killing the girl again and again.

Mindlessly, he gave Lieve's hand a squeeze offering an assuring smile. They were in this together and she had become a good friend to him. Sirius had always been the irresponsible and carefree one, and when stuck with James and Remus that had given him the part of the mischievous little brother, who needed to be smacked over his head now and then. It was a part he had been all too happy to play, because it meant that he didn't have to take any responsibility.

Now however, he tried his best to be a big brother towards Regulus and Lieve, which was as much a surprise to himself as anyone. Technically, he had always been a big brother, but never before had he felt or acted like one. To do it now was a challenge, though he had found that he actually wanted to. Sirius was not going to tell anyone, but the small beard he wore now, and that thankfully suited him, was an attempt to look different from Regulus. He knew it bothered Regulus to no end that they looked so much alike, thus it was his way to try and please him. And as to Lieve, Sirius had honestly never meant to go that far with her. His main reasons to keep her around at first were:

A: He needed to try and capture Nogtails to put them in the teacher's desk and Lieve knew how to do that. Her knowledge of creatures and their possible uses for pranks was priceless, plus she didn't have the least bit against getting dirty. That was excellent!

B: It was obvious that she was into Remus from the moment he had first introduced her. Sirius remembered it clearly, nervous and awkward she had stood close behind him, blushing deeply and looking adoringly at him whenever Remus looked away. She had the biggest crush on the boy, even though Remus had been completely oblivious at the time. So Sirius wanted to get to know her and see if she was any good, and then he had tried to do his best to play matchmaker for almost three months last year, especially when Remus started crushing on the girl in return. Sirius had kept pocking fun at him, since for him it had been the only source of entertainment, seeing as James had lost his interest in pranks at that time.

Remus was the only one of them who hadn't had a girlfriend, simply because he refused to even try. Even Peter had something going with a frilly Hufflepuff in their fifth year. James had had a crush on Lily in like forever, but it hadn't stopped him from being with other girls along the way, they were popular boys after all. Sirius had honestly lost count on how many he had snogged with and who he had supposedly been more seriously involved with, according to the other party. He liked girls, but he wasn't taking that relationship thing nearly as serious as Remus and James were. It still remained though that Remus was missing out, and Sirius had concluded that it would be good for him to have a girlfriend, no matter where it lead, just so he could at least say that he had had one. Remus was a too good person to miss out in his opinion.

But so much had happened since then and now he felt really responsible for her, just like for a little sister.

When they entered the Great Hall Sirius made sure not to let go of Lieve, so she wouldn't get lost in the crowd. He caught sight of some rather messy, black hair. "Hey, Prongs!" he called out to his friend.

"Padfoot!" James turned around and was in three steps in front of them. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"I might have a hint," Sirius smirked, "and you would never guess. Carrot and I just ran into some Dementors."

"You're kidding, right?" James asked and looked at Lieve. "You're okay there? You seem a bit pale."

"I'm fine," Lieve stated at once, only to jump when Peter suddenly appeared next to her, looking even paler than she did, sweating and making her look at him worried.

"Hey," Remus breathed coming up to them next. "There are Dementors outside! I just came from Care of Magical Creatures and they're everywhere! Professor Kettleburn barely managed to keep them away from the students."

"We have noticed," Sirius informed him. "They've managed to give Lieve and I a good scare."

Remus was immediately worried. "Thank Merlin, you're fine!" He started rummaging through his pockets. "How are you feeling? Dementors are not easy to deal with."

"Sure, freaked out as hell," Sirius smirked, "but we are fine now, right Carrot?"

Lieve nodded slowly, though clearly unsure.

"And Peter, how about you?" Sirius asked drawing the small boy into a hug.

"Not well at all," Peter responded swallowing heavily.

Remus sighed in relief when he had found what he was looking for, a bar of chocolate which he opened and started breaking into pieces. "Here," he gave a big lump to Peter. "You look like you need it the most," and then he started to pass the rest to everyone, just in time for Lily to arrive.

"Those are Dementors!" she exclaimed. "Real Dementors! Sev was right, they are scary!"

Finally, everyone silenced when Dumbledore stepped up to the head table, where everyone could see him, looking grave. Right beside him stood a rough looking, middle-aged man with greying blond hair and pale, blue eyes. Lily was ready to swear that Dumbledore was quite displeased with this man, yet was trying to focus back on the students as he started to speak.

"Students of Hogwarts," Dumbledore began. "Only ten minutes ago something has happened that makes me beg you all to take extra caution. There are Dementors on the school grounds."

The Hall broke out in murmured uproar.

"Silence, if you please," Dumbledore interrupted. "They have been sent here by the Ministry, under the request of the Head of the Magical Law Enforcement, Mr. Crouch," Dumbledore gestured at the man beside him.

The Marauders stared wide-eyed at the man. Apart from his hair and eye colour he looked nothing like his son, standing there robust and stern.

Dumbledore cleared his throat continuing. "The Dementors are here as an extra protection against the dangers that lay outside of the safe grounds of Hogwarts. However, I myself am wary of this, since I know that Voldemort's power consists not only of brute force and is most destructive when coming from within supposedly our own ranks. I will ask you to please be careful. Do not venture outside without a teacher's escort. We will ensure that the outdoor classes are escorted from the Entrance Hall by a teacher. When you venture out in the halls of Hogwarts, only go where you need to and do not go alone. Dementors cannot be tricked by disguises or cloaks of invisibility, so don't be foolish and don't give them reason to hurt you."

"Why does it always feels like he's talking to us?" James grumbled.

"Why do I always think of Sev when Dumbledore speaks like that," Lily's comment was even better.

"Please stay calm and keep a close eye on each other," Dumbledore implored. "And now Auror Crouch wishes to have a few words."

"Thank you, Headmaster," Crouch nodded to Dumbledore, before turning to face the student body fully. "I'll let you know now that it was not an easy decision to have the Dementors here among school students at Hogwarts. They are dangerous and I know that. I wish no more harm to any of you than I wish towards my own son, who is among you."

"If he only knew that his dearest son is all chummy with the Death Eaters," Sirius muttered.

"Shh," Lily shushed him.

"They are here," Crouch spoke evenly, "because we have reason to believe that Hogwarts has been already infiltrated, that someone inside of these walls, most likely school students, works with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"As I said, his son," Sirius snorted.

"Yeah, go up there and say that to his face," James recommended.

"Therefore," Crouch folded his hands in front of him, "I have planned interviews with each and every one of the students, which will take place throughout this week. Lists will be hung out in your respective common rooms." He regarded them sternly. "There is nothing to fear for any of you as long as you are honest. Anyone who offers valuable information will be rewarded, but if you decide to hold something back, the consequences will be not pleasant. Please do what is sensible, thank you," he bowed his head.

Dumbledore's piercing, blue eyes sent Crouch a last angry gaze, before he reclaimed his position. "Thank you all for your attention and now please go back to your classes and return to your routine. Those who have classes outdoors, please wait in the Entrance Hall to be escorted by a teacher. Dementors are indeed dangerous, perhaps the most dangerous magical creatures in existence, please treat them accordingly. That would be all."

Lieve looked very dismayed when Dumbledore dismissed them.

"So, where are you heading?" Sirius asked.

"Herbology," Lieve suppressed a shudder. "So I guess I'll just wait for Professor Sprout to escort us to class."

The four Gryffindors looked at each other.

Lily frowned. "Lieve, when you're done with classes, meet us at the Gryffindor table at dinner, okay?"

"Okay," Lieve nodded.

"Oh, and if you bump into Regulus," Sirius added. "Ask him to join us as well, will you?"

Lieve nodded again.

Remus gave her the entire remaining chocolate. "Take this, you'll need it."

Lieve blushed deeply, but accepted it anyway. "Thank ye'," she uttered softly.

The four Gryffindors sighed and headed for Defence. "Man, she looked beside herself," James commented. "How close were those Dementors?"

"Too close," Sirius responded grimly.

"Dementors on the school grounds," Lily hissed angrily. "It's madness! I swear I can feel them even now." She meant that it felt colder than usual.

"I know what you mean," Remus frowned, "though not because we were the most happy bunch around here to begin with."

Lily looked up at him. "That just means that we are more vulnerable to them than most. We really need to be careful now. Isn't there a way to fend them off?"

"Well," Sirius scratched the back of his head. "There definitely is some way... but I can't remember it right now."

Lily threw her hair over her shoulder. "Well, then I guess we know what we're going to do this evening."

James lifted an eyebrow at her.

"Library!" Lily exclaimed cheerily, just before they entered the Defence classroom, where Dawlish was standing, as if on a lookout for Dementors already.


	40. doesn't it drive you crazy?

Lily didn't know why she should be surprised reading the list of those to be questioned by Crouch. The Marauders were the first, being appointed to early the very next morning. Remus took the number one spot and Lily followed right after. She knew precisely what that was. "Prejudices and stupidity, that's what it is!" she proclaimed looking over to Remus, who sighed defeated seeing his own name on top.

"Lily," he said softly, "let it be."

"But Remus..." Lily glared at him. "You talk like you've accepted that unjust treatment because of something that's not even your fault! It's unfair!"

"Lily, I talk like I have accepted it, because I have," Remus regarded her seriously. "It's a lot more complicated than you believe it to be."

"No, it's not!" she crossed her arms.

"Yes, it is," Remus stood his ground. "Thank you for standing up for me, but don't go seeking trouble because of that, it's really not worth it," he turned around and started walking away.

"Why the bloody hell do they all say that?" Lily mumbled to herself.

Remus looked over his shoulder saddened. "Why can't any of you people understand how dangerous I am? Why do you have to keep on denying…"

"I'm not denying a thing!" Lily exclaimed spreading her arms.

"Yes, you are," Remus sighed, "and don't say any more. We'll be standing here all night if you do," he cut her off before she could object. "See you, Lily."

* * *

The next day Lily was missing her Charms class because of the interview and thus was even less happy to sit there with her book in her lap, waiting for Remus to come out. The only other person there was Peter, being the number three on the list, and he looked like a nervous wreck… worse than that actually. He kept glancing over his shoulder and jerking weirdly at the slightest sound, even sweating heavily.

"Peter, relax," Lily blinked by his odd behaviour.

At the sound of her voice Peter nearly jumped out of his skin.

Lily stared at him confused. "It's just an interview, no one is going to be punished or anything."

"I… I know that," Peter stammered licking his lips.

"Peter, are you alright?" Lily started to become genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine!" Peter exclaimed loudly and quickly, making it very obvious that he was anything but fine.

"Erm, Peter, you could talk to me, you know," Lily assured him moving closer. "If you just tell me I promise not to laugh or go mad and not to think less of you, and most certainly not to tell the others," she smiled slightly, feeling sorry for him. He was just… always dragged along without really belonging. Recently, he came across as less needy and dependant, seemingly having grown a spine just a bit, but in all honesty, Lily didn't know what to make of him.

Defeated Peter looked up at her, nervously wiping his brow. "Honestly," he looked over his shoulder again as if expecting an attack. "It's nothing," he said, which was obviously a lie.

Then the door finally opened and Remus came out looking exhausted and resigned.

At once Lily was by his side. "How was it?"

"He questioned me first on behalf of the Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures," Remus told her bitterly, "then talked to me about the current werewolf problem in the wizarding world, asked me if I had ever thought of joining… joining..." he looked down.

"They can't expel you, can they?" Lily asked anxiously.

Remus shook his head. "What he seemed most interested in though, was Severus. He kept asking about him, then returning to my condition as a diversion, then coming back to Severus again."

Lily blinked. "He really believes Severus is a dark wizard?"

"I don't know," Remus frowned unsure. "It just seemed weird to me."

"Look, Remus, I was thinking," she hesitated. "Should we tell him about his son? I mean, we all know Junior is not in his right mind and working with Death Eaters, and that's the Head of Magical Law Enforcement in there," she pointed at the door.

"Yeah, but it's also his only son we are talking about here. Lily, we already went through this hundreds of times, so please," Remus looked her in the eyes, "don't risk it."

Lily took a deep breath trying to hold it just in time to discover that the door was open and the stoic Bartemius Crouch Sr. was standing in it. "Please, Miss Evans, take your time," he reprimanded sharply. "It's not like I have nothing else to do than waiting for you."

Lily gave the man a sour once over, before giving Remus a comforting clap on the shoulder and heading inside the small office, with Crouch closing the door right after her.

The office Lily found herself in was very small and equipped only with a desk and two chairs, leaving the impression that it was usually unused and opened up just for the occasion.

"So, Miss Evans, is it?" Crouch asked taking seat behind the desk.

"That's who you wanted to see, isn't it?" Lily snorted annoyed.

"Don't take that tone with me, young lady," Crouch snapped impatiently. "I'm not going to take cheek nor avoiding the subject, and should I find a reason I will have you disciplined."

"Then you must have a close relationship to your son indeed, sir," her words dripped in sarcasm.

"That's quite enough," Crouch made a note on his parchment. "Now, Miss Evans, you more than any other student at this school are under the suspicion to be in contact with a very powerful dark wizard and supporter of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"I don't know any dark wizards," Lily stated crossing her arms.

"Hm," Crouch looked down at his parchment unimpressed. "There seems to be a certain affiliation with the house of Slytherin."

"Many of my friends just happen to be from that house," Lily shrugged. "Slytherins, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, it's just a question of sleeping arrangements and Quidditch teams."

"And you seem to be on very friendly terms with that werewolf."

"_Remus_ is a very nice, calm and gentle person, and a very good friend," Lily stated pointedly.

"Person?" Crouch arched an eyebrow. "I'm afraid you are misinformed on that point, Miss. The laws recently enforced state that a werewolf is no longer categorised as a person, but as a creature."

Lily gaped absolutely gobsmacked.

"These laws were so easily acknowledged and driven through, because that makes it easier for us to just exterminate the threat these beasts might pose," Crouch was looking at her sternly, "since every single one of them has chosen to serve You-Know-Who so far."

"That's nonsense!" Lily protested loudly. "Remus is a werewolf and he's most certainly not a supporter of Voldemort!"

"Really?" Crouch asked seeming only mildly curious. "What makes you so sure?"

"As I said, Remus is gentle! He would never hurt anyone!" Lily raged. "And he's righteous too, he doesn't believe in that blood purity crap!"

"And Severus Snape?" Crouch suddenly asked still only mildly curious.

"Sev's more righteous than is good for him!" Lily exclaimed. "He's not a dark wizard!"

"So you _do _know what he's up to?" Crouch asked.

"What?" Lily blinked suddenly caught by surprise. "No, I don't know where Sev is."

"Sev?" Crouch raised an eyebrow. "Are you close for you to call him that?"

"We… we grew up together, he's my best friend," Lily said somewhat confused.

"I was lead to understand that he was even more than that," Crouch commented folding his hands, his eyes never leaving her face.

Lily blushed deeply and looked down. "We dated last school year."

"And after such a history he just left? Without even a notice?" Crouch asked doubtfully. "Not a hint of his whereabouts, never even attempting to contact you?"

"Yes," Lily answered firmly.

"Really? How highly unlikely."

"But it's true!" Lily insisted. "Sev never contacted me as much as once! I don't think he even tried."

"Really?" Crouch asked again.

"Yes, really," Lily simpered mockingly. "I've tried to look for him, but he's very good at hiding."

"Oh, so you have actively searched for him," Crouch commented scribbling it down, "searched for a known dark wizard."

"I told you, Sev is not a dark wizard!" Lily hissed angrily.

"But you know where he is?"

"No, I don't!"

"Have you any idea what he could be possibly planning out there on his own?"

"Well, I don't, and even if I did I wouldn't tell you!" Lily bit her tongue to keep herself from saying more. Crouch was a master interviewer it seemed, asking the right questions at the right time, very professional and completely detached.

He lifted an eyebrow at her. "You might as well tell me now, Miss Evans, seeing as you have all but confessed to know something."

"The only thing I know is that you should keep a better eye on your son," Lily couldn't help herself and say.

Crouch blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Yes, go ahead and interview him," Lily drew herself up haughtily. "If anyone is associated with dark wizards here, it's him and perhaps also Avery, Mulciber and Jugson."

"These three names are on my list as well," Crouch said slowly. "But even if my son were a suspect, which he is not, it would be improper for me to deal with his case, since it falls under personal affairs. He will be interviewed by someone else."

"But..." Lily started.

"And if you continue in the same vein there will be consequences," Crouch narrowed his eyes.

Lily looked away barely managing to hold her temper.

"Now, Severus Snape," Crouch continued.

"I don't know anything," Lily insisted stiffly.

"I thought we have just made it clear that you do."

"You mean you assume that I do," Lily hissed. "I don't know a bloody thing, alright!"

"Miss Evans," Crouch stated darkly. "Fact remains that you have ties to a wanted criminal."

"Do I?" Lily asked nothing short of sarcastic. "Who?"

"Don't play smart with me, girl," Crouch warned. "Severus Snape is wanted for performing dark magic and you know that."

"Oh, that must have escaped my attention," Lily all but sneered.

"Well, he is, and if you do support the wizarding world in the fight against the dark, you will give me all information you have."

"I'm sorry, but I already gave you all information I have… sir," she looked at him defiantly, her anger flaring. "He broke up with me last January, that's over half a year ago," she pointed out.

"Hm," Crouch regarded her thoughtfully. "You say he broke up with you. Then I must ask myself if you did break up with him as well."

Lily blinked in surprise. "I don't know what you mean."

Crouch's steely eyes were boring into her. "Well, did you?"

"That's... that's personal and has nothing to do with this!" Lily exclaimed angrily. "I have nothing more to say!"

"You are ready to defend this dark wizard to the end?"

"I told you he is not dark!" Lily shouted in his face. "And you don't have any right to question me without any evidence against me anyway. I'm done here, good day Mr. Crouch!" she stood up. "And if I were you I would watch that son of yours."

"You are stepping on thin ice," Crouch warned her almost hissing. "As a seventeen-year-old there is no safety net for you. I could take you in for a real interrogation any day should I wish."

"I don't care!" Lily opened the door and stormed out coming face to face with Remus, Peter and James, who was next in the line, all of them looking wide-eyed at her.

"What are you staring at," Lily barked.

"Nothing!" the three young men yelped at once, looking anywhere but at her.

"And remember the library! We are going _back _there tonight!" she reminded them. "Even if it kills me, we are going to find that spell and be prepared once we get out of this stinking castle!"

"Yes, Lily," they said in unison as she turned around and started walking away quite briskly.

The three boys were left staring after her. She had looked like a wild inferno when she came out, burning in anger and frustration, so unlike the Lily they usually knew.

James looked at his two friends bewildered. "It has to be her time of the month."

The other two nodded. "Yeah."

"I mean Merlin, not even Moony is this bad with his monthly problem."

Remus' head turned to give James a once over, as if he didn't know what to make of that, yet was disgusted. "Oh thanks, James."

"Come on, it was funny!" James exclaimed. "Right, Wormy?"

Peter eyed him sceptically. "Honestly, that was far too low."

"Argh, Sirius's right, we all have grown up and boring," James muttered taking himself to the head. "I mean you too, Pete? Unbelievable!"

"Mr. Pettigrew, I don't have all day," Crouch stood in the door impatiently.

Peter yelped and started shaking.

"It's alright, Pete," Remus gave his shoulder a clap. "You can choose not to say anything, you have a right to do that."

Peter nodded swallowing heavily and started walking towards the door unsteadily, which was slammed shut right behind him.

"Wow," James commented. The slam was so loud it echoed through the entire hallway. "You think it's that time of the month for Crouch too?"

Remus gave James a look.

"And I think I just shut up now."

"I think that's a really good idea, Prongs," Remus returned. "Well, see you at class."

James nodded. "Yeah."

"Prongs."

"What?"

"You are not very good at this, I thought you decided to stop talking," Remus looked back at him smirking. "How long did that last? Three seconds? Though I suppose three seconds without doing something stupid is new record for you."

"Sod of, Moony," James threw a crumpled piece of parchment at him, which harmlessly hit Remus' shoulder and fell down to the floor. Remus chuckled and turned around to walk to his class.

* * *

Lily frowned deeply looking through yet another Defence book she was ready to swear she had already read. Books were scattered around her and the whole table was a bloody mess. Every single Marauder was suffering with her and suffer they did indeed! They seemed to be getting tired of her too, but dammit, Lily would find that spell! She would do whatever she could to prepare herself for the battle raging outside of Hogwarts.

Sirius was staring at a page in front of him, looking like his mind had gone blank, James sat with three different books open, as if he thought it would be quicker that way, Regulus was patiently moving his finger through the lines, Peter, who had showed up during the last few days surprisingly, also seemed incredibly bored sitting with one single book in front of him and Lily suspected he had read the same sentence over and over again in the last hour. Lieve however seemed to be actually reading, since her eyes were moving across the page, it was a shame though that the book was titled '_Old myths of the ancient Wales_.' Every single book there was on defensive spells was currently spread on the tables and had been gone through at least twice by the one or the other of the seven people sitting around them. Remus just looked exhausted while reading slowly through the pages, though that was probably due to the upcoming full moon.

"Sev would know this!" Lily exclaimed suddenly wringing her hands in frustration.

James looked a little annoyed. "I know he's pretty powerful and all, but don't you think you are putting him on a pedestal sometimes?"

Remus smirked amused. "You would be surprised what that man knows, Prongs."

Lily however looked very thoughtful. "Sev _does_ know," she insisted.

"Lily would you please just..." James tried to make her stop.

"No, you don't understand," she cut him off, "he really does know, he told me about it." She snapped her fingers thinking very hard. "He only mentioned it briefly, but he had! If I could just remember!" she frowned annoyed rubbing her temples. "Damn, when was it? When have we talked about Dementors?"

Suddenly, she had everyone's full attention. It was a breakthrough no doubt and made Lily feel even more annoyed as she was ransacking her brain. 'Dammit, Sev, you weren't very specific when you told me about it, were you? It was something about... that you have fended off fifty of them singlehandedly. Well, that was good of course, but how? How?' Thinking back, he hadn't been really keen on that story. It had been a subject quickly skipped over, since there were more pressing things to tell... too many actually. He had tried to give her all information he could and answer any question she asked, yet Lily was still left to think she only had the faintest idea about what he had been through. To add to it, she herself didn't want to abuse his trust at that time, he was a very private individual after all. Sometimes it did feel like she was invading. She knew he would tell her anything she asked about, but had warned her it might do more harm than good, and she had decided to trust his judgement. She sighed deeply dropping her head on the book in front of her, hiding her face.

"Feeling okay there?" Sirius asked clearly bemused.

Lily made some grumbling noise impossible to distinct.

"I will say, chances are probably not," James smirked. "I think she just realised who she's with and that it's not good for her."

"And here I thought she was a clever one," Sirius added. "What one earth would Snape say when he realises what we've done to her? I mean look at that, it's a mess!"

Lily looked up, her hair unruly, her make-up not as perfect as it could be and there were even shadows under her eyes making her look genuinely scary. She sent the boys a very dark glare.

Remus smirked at that. "Well, if she doesn't kill you first for making such comments, chances are he will."

Without much warning Lily simply waked the werewolf over the head.

"Ow," Remus rubbed the spot. "That actually hurt, just so you know."

"Lily," Lieve patted to her on the arm. "Ye' are me friend, so it's all well meant... I mean we bonded when staying up all night talking at James'," she hesitated. "It's really nayte a good sign when I come off being the normal one out of the two of us. It's even worse when I'm the less fowl mouthed and less messy here... When did ye' last look into a mirror? Or got some decent sleep? And maybe if ye' just took a moment to..." Lieve stopped right there receiving Lily's death glare full on. She leaned back and looked at the others. "She's all yer's," she then picked up a random book and started reading as if hiding behind it.

James and Sirius looked at each other clearly having some sort of wordless exchange.

"If you have something to say, out with it," Lily growled.

"Nope," James raised his hands. "I like my state of health just as it is."

"Glad to hear it," Lily snorted. "Well, it's a charm. We can move on from the Defence books now."

There were several groans.

"Oh, come on!" Lily exclaimed. "One would think you don't want to be able to fight off Dementors at all!"

Lieve swallowed heavily almost choking at the mere thought, Peter closed his eyes looking like he was silently praying and Regulus looked hopelessly depressed. Those three seemed to be the most affected by the presence of Dementors, or perhaps just the most obvious. If you would judge by Lily's behaviour, she was either exhausted or had lost her sanity was Regulus' fine opinion. He supposed Peter was just a coward, no surprises there, and Lieve? She really did try and hide her feelings, she was just bad at it, or at least that was what Regulus genuinely believed. He was astounded that the others had failed to notice her trying to keep everything inside and the pressure getting worse and worse. He himself was sullen and short tempered, something he hadn't exactly associated with himself in the past... and he was afraid as well he knew, afraid of himself and what he could have become, not to mention that he still felt so guilty. When the Dementors were close he could hear her voice in his head.

"_If you really think that, I was wrong about you."_

And he would hear another voice... hear it all the time.

"_But Regulus knows where his loyalty lies, he knows what he is entitled to be."_

Followed by...

"_Kill the mudblood!"_

...then...

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

...and finally a girl's scream that pierced Regulus' very core. He had to relive that every time the Dementors came too close and he was ready to do just about anything to avoid that.

When he was looking for more books Regulus was suddenly faced with three massive Slytherin students on the other side of the bookshelf, Avery, Mulciber and Jugson, the latter a former Phoenix Fighter, threatening a bunch of younger Slytherin Phoenix Fighters.

"Oh no, not again," he groaned and was on his way when he felt a light tapping on his shoulder. Regulus turned around and saw Lieve, who pointed to the side. Regulus followed her finger to where Barty Crouch junior was sitting, arms crossed and in a rather relaxed position, as if enjoying the show with seven more Slytherins beside him. "Thanks," Regulus whispered. "I hadn't seen them."

Lieve nodded. "I'll cover ye'," she gestured at the wand resting lightly in her hand.

Regulus nodded and stepped out. "We don't threaten people of our own house," he pointed out, "and honestly, seventh-year students? What kind of petty bullying is that?"

The three boys turned around. "Now if it isn't the blood traitor," Avery grinned.

"What's the matter with you?" Regulus asked. "Lost your brains and have only confidence enough left to challenge third-years?" he rolled his eyes. "No wonder Severus despised you, he got more brains than the rest of his class combined."

"A blood traitor defending blood traitors," Jugson mocked. "How nice."

"There's no such thing as a blood traitor," Regulus stated at once. "All that talk about blood purity is pointless."

"A mudblood lover should come up with a better way to defend himself," Jugson snorted.

Regulus could feel his stomach freeze and his anger boil. "Shut your stupid mouth!" he all but snarled. "She was more worth than you can ever hope to be!"

Mulciber grinned like the stupid monkey he was. "Oh, I think we are upsetting him."

Honestly, how could Severus have been friends with these idiots at some point? And Regulus had followed them around too, how much of an idiot had he been?

Katherine, who was one of the threatened Phoenix Fighters, was eyeing Regulus as if already knowing how it would end. And to be fair, situations like that were a bit too common, though it didn't stop Regulus from losing his temper yet again.

"Just shut up!" he hissed.

"Little pesky mudblood lover," Jugson simpered. "And she was such a dirty mudblood too, just dangling from the skirts of people she knew were more powerful than her. Sleazy one, wasn't she? Always sitting there, dirtying anything she touched."

"STUPEFY!" Regulus roared, though Jugson managed to deflect it.

"So, you want to play?" he asked. "Impedimenta!" an orange light shot towards Regulus, only to be stopped halfway by a shielding charm.

Lieve stepped out with her wand raised looking mad as hell. "Ye' grinchy pea-brains, ye'. If ye' dinnae take tha' back, I swear I'll kill ye'."

The statement was answered by laughter from Crouch and his group.

"And ye' too, ye' scum!" Lieve spat.

"Why threatening me?" Crouch asked innocently. "I didn't do anything. I'm just admiring your temper. You're quite beautiful when you're angry, do you know that?"

Lieve nearly dropped her wand in pure shock at the odd comment. "Wha'?"

Crouch and company laughed again.

"Don't listen to him," Regulus hissed. "He's just messing with you."

"Yes, indeed," Lily suddenly entered the scene with her wand out and the rest of the Marauders behind her. "I would just leave if I were you," she addressed the sullen looking Slytherins pointedly.

"Fine," Jugson shrugged. "It's not worth losing breath over mudblood lovers anyway."

"Get out," Lily sneered angrily, "and don't let us catch you like that again. You're acting like bloody cowards."

Avery snorted. "Says the mudblood with her friends at her back. How do you mudbloods do it anyway? Get so many corrupted?"

"You were told to shut it!" James warned getting angry himself. "I'm going to take this to the teachers as it is, so don't make it worse for yourselves."

Lily gestured towards the exit and the group left grumbling under their breaths.

Finally, Lily lowered her wand. "Please stop losing your temper, Regulus, just imagine the trouble we would be in, if a teacher walked in upon us."

"_You _are telling _me _that?_" _Regulus asked in disbelief.

"I've got the bravest little brother in the world," Sirius beamed proudly.

"Yep," James nodded. "Which one was more brave, shooting Voldemort in the chest with a stunner or telling Lily to stop losing her temper?"

"You know," Sirius frowned. "I don't know."

"Sod off!" Lily glared at them annoyed.

Lieve slowly licked her lips looking pretty pale.

"You don't have to look that shocked," Sirius smirked at her. "You are quite beautiful when you're angry."

Lieve stared at him for a couple of moments, but then crossed her arms and turned her nose up, figuring that he was just teasing her.

"A PATRONUS!"

Everybody jumped when Lily yelled the word out loud.

"What?" James stared at her rather shocked.

"It's called a Patronus!" Lily was looking at James as if it was him who made no sense, "the charm to fend off Dementors, a Patronus. How could I have forgotten?" That beautiful silver doe she had seen in Severus' mind, she had never forgotten it, but the fact that it was actually for protection against Dementors had eluded her. She kept looking at them, as if the entire lot were idiots. "Come on!" she grabbed whoever was nearest, which just happened to be Regulus. "We know the name, I know what it supposed to look like, now we only need to find the incantation!" she dragged the unfortunate victim with her to the reception desk where Madam Pince wasn't right now, but should be at shortly.

"I don't care what you say or have said," Sirius whispered to James. "She's barking mad!"

"I agree," James whispered back. "And admitting that to you does tell something."

Peter looked intimidated after the disappearing Lily and Regulus and then wide-eyed at the others. "What... happened?" he asked honestly confused.

"Pete, I really don't know," James took Peter by the shoulder and led him back to their study table. "And if you want my advice, don't think about it, because I certainly won't." Sirius nodded at his side.

"Erm," Remus was left standing beside Lieve, who was still annoyed at Sirius. "You don't have to be angry to be beautiful."

Lieve's head jerked in his direction, eyes wide.

"Just so you know..." Remus fumbled. "I mean, sometimes it seems like you don't know and you should... I mean..." he flushed crimson. "Yeah," he said dropping his head defeated, before looking up again. "Merlin, I'm rubbish at this, sounds like I don't mean it, doesn't it?"

Lieve nodded slowly, regarding him stunned.

"Well, I do," Remus assured her. "You're very beautiful." With that he fell silent and turned around to all but flee towards the others.

Lieve stood there with a twitching smile on her lips and a pretty blush on her cheeks. She was just about to go over to Remus and say something smug, but decided against it. She followed the boys path coming to a stop next to Sirius, who was smirking amused at her pink cheeks. "Aw, Carrot, you're so cute."

"Hush ye'," she admonished him without further comment.

"Come on, you should go and tease him," Sirius gave her a push in the right direction.

"Siri, it's not very nice of ye'," Lieve stood her ground, "me and Remus been through this, it dinnae work."

"But come on, he just said you were beautiful. That's something, isn't it?"

"Honestly, dinnae ye' think he would say that to any girl who's upset, if he thinks it can cheer them up? I know him a lot better know. He's just obsessed about making everyone feel better. It's what makes him happy."

"Yeah, he is a holy piece of work," Sirius snorted ruffling Lieve's hair, "and yet such a needy cat."

"Ye' want me to start on the list of wha' is wrong with ye'?" Lieve asked annoyed.

"No need, I already know I'm perfect," Sirius grinned.

"Arrogant is top on tha' list," Lieve informed him.

* * *

"We figured people would like to try their hand in fending off Dementors," Lily started standing before the congregated Phoenix Fighters.

There was a murmur of excited agreement.

"We managed to find the instructions and the incantation," Lily told them and glanced at Regulus remembering the three evenings in a row in the library it had taken.

"It's called the Patronus Charm," Regulus took over. "What we have found out about it is that it's a spell using happiness as a shield against the Dementors," he blinked. "They draw forth our worst memories and use them against us, which is why the counter consists of our good memories."

Lily nodded. "There are various stages of the Patronus. At first, it's just a silver mist, then it takes the form of a shield, but the actual Patronus takes a physical form of an animal unique to the caster. Unfortunately, that's about all information we were able to find. We know the wand movement, the words and the technicalities," she sighed defeated, "but none of us have any idea of how to actually do it. We have tried, but the most we were able to produce was a bit of mist. So I guess we teach you what we can and then you try it out, if someone gets further, please come to us and tell us how you did it."

"Expecto Patronum," she did the correct wand movement and uttered the words perfectly while trying to hold onto some kind of a good memory. She was thinking of a warm summer day where she was sitting by the lake, enjoying the smell of the grass, but to no avail, all that came out was a cough of silver mist.

The Phoenix Fighters looked a little disappointed. "Well, that isn't a lot, is it?" Diane commented.

"No," Lily shook her head. "Not a lot at all."

"Well, at least it's worth a try," Diane gestured encouraging her. "Who said fighting Dementors would be easy? It's like a Quidditch game, it only ever gets spectacular with sweat and tears. Come on people!"

Lily and Regulus looked at the blond with appreciation. So did the rest of the Marauders.

"Okay," Lily smiled. "If you all stand up, we'll practise the wand movement and while you are at it, try and think of a happy memory, the happiest you can come up with, though it actually doesn't matter," she mingled among them. "What matters are the emotions behind it, which must be genuine."

A short time after there were silver clouds of smoke emerging everywhere, though not much else.

Regulus looked resigned. "Just a thought," he said softly, so no one beside Lily could hear, "but perhaps we are failing at it because we are not able to feel genuine happiness anymore." He hesitated. "It's not like we have much to be happy about."

"I have to admit I was thinking the exact same thing," she frowned, "but I can't help but feel it's just a matter of getting a hang of it... or so I hope." She bit her lip. "You hear her whenever they are close, don't you?" she asked carefully.

Regulus nodded slowly. "I'm always back there."

"I hear her too," Lily looked down. "And Sev, he sounds so desperate and broken."

Regulus looked at her not really knowing what to say. "Doesn't it annoy you?" he asked suddenly. "That he's out there and we are in here cooped up I mean. This place or James' doesn't make any difference, we are just sitting around when we should be fighting!"

"I hate it," Lily admitted. "I want to go out and fight, and find him, but even if we weren't at school it wouldn't be that simple. Where would we even look and besides," she surveyed the room. "I do think we are fighting in here, just in a different way. We are dissuading people from becoming Death Eaters and regret it later, we are preventing and that's important too, and we are spending our time ensuring that we are of use when the time comes... at least I like to think so," she sighed. "I think I would go mad if I wouldn't believe in that, even only a bit."

"Things are falling apart though," Regulus watched the few people, who seemed to be actually enjoying themselves sadly. "Maybe it's time to acknowledge that she's dead and he's gone and they were what kept this running."

Lily shook her head. "It's ironic, isn't it? All that talk about when the student is ready the mentor will appear," she looked at the faint traces of silver smoke. "They always forget to mention that when the mentor is done they have to leave, so the student can stand on their own legs."

"You're talking like that's how it's supposed to be," Regulus huffed annoyed. "Is that what you truly believe?"

"Of course not, I'm just saying..." she sighed. "She was the mentor and well... this is getting corny, isn't it?"

"A little, yes," Regulus nodded.

Lily shook her head to clear her thoughts. "I know this sounds crazy, but maybe... if you thought of her while trying to conjure a Patronus," she mused.

Regulus looked at her, as if she had lost her mind. Wasn't he supposed to think of a happy memory? Penelope was painful, it made no sense whatsoever. "Why ever would I do that?"

"Well, it was just a thought," Lily defended herself. "I mean, Sev told me he was thinking of me when he did it." Regulus arched his eyebrow at her and she blushed deeply realising her slip. "Don't ever tell, or I'll have your head."

He smirked, but nodded. "But you're an entirely different matter... I mean, you're fine."

Lily shook her head biting her lip. "Let's just say he has been through a lot."

They both sighed simultaneously and turned back to the students, who were barely enjoying themselves and weren't able to produce a decent Patronus at all.


	41. Insane stunt

"And now ladies," James Potter proudly announced, "for your pleasure only." He was addressing the circle of girls surrounding them in the Gryffindor common room.

"Especially you!" Sirius bowed to a particularly pretty black-haired girl, who giggled in return.

"We'll show you magic you have never seen before," James put on his dramatic voice. "You will be shocked, you will be amazed!"

"And when I surprise Prongsie you will laugh your butts off!" Sirius barked in laughter.

"Oh, we shall see. I think I will be getting to you first!" James crossed his arms. "You'll be so humiliated that no one is going to date you ever again!"

"Impossible!" Sirius exclaimed. "I'm too gorgeous!" he swung his hair out of his face.

Not far from them Remus and Peter were sitting in their armchairs, watching the show in amusement. "Wow, the world will really go under the day those two grow up," Remus commented.

"It's been a while though," Peter put in. "I don't think they have pulled such a show since... last year."

"I think you're right," Remus mussed. "Well, I suppose we all could use to turn off a bit."

"It's actually been a bit weird that there hasn't been much pranking lately," Peter said truthfully.

"They won't prank Slytherins anymore," Remus shrugged. "They've learned better."

"Doesn't that mean that they did grow up?" Peter asked wondering. "I mean... I do realize they needed to, but... er..."

Defeated Remus looked over at Peter and sighed. "They probably did. Circumstances have forced us all to do that, but don't tell them. It will give them an ego boost that could be very unhealthy for them. They might just have a relapse."

Peter stared at him disbelieving, then his eyes returned to the two best friends, who were very busy impressing the ladies. Suddenly, he looked puzzled.

"What are you thinking about?" Remus asked a bit amused.

"Urh, nothing," Peter stated at once.

"Fine," Remus shrugged. He was a guy after all. He didn't fancy talking about feelings either.

What Peter was thinking though, was that the two standing there might not be bigger than life after all, nor were they perfect. They might just have a relapse echoed in his mind. It felt like he had been allowed to take a step back and look at the bigger picture for a while, and it was different from what he had seen before. These people around him, they weren't all that great, they wouldn't be able to protect everyone, they had flaws... they were human. Peter blinked as it all went through his mind and the world suddenly became both scarier and more complicated.

"James!" Lily was crawling through the portrait hole. "There you are."

"Hullo, Lily," James grinned.

"Finally warming up to us?" Sirius asked flicking his hand and a red rose appeared. "For you, my lovely."

Lily stopped and had to roll her eyes. "No, thank you."

Several girls around were giggling.

"Then it's for you, my lovely," Sirius bowed and handed the rose to the black-haired girl.

"That's cheating," the girl pouted, though she had difficulties hiding her genuinely flattered smile. "You made it for Evans."

"How dare you accusing me of any such thing?" Sirius drew himself up as if affronted, "when you are sitting there, looking so gorgeous, like some kind of goddess. It's tearing at my heart," he exclaimed dramatically, making all the girls giggle again.

"Girls, I'm telling you to never trust this man," James put in wisely. "Cause you know," he wrapped his arm around Sirius' shoulder, "he's nothing more than a big, ugly mutt!" And he dragged him down into a headlock, messing his hair up completely. "Take a good look ladies, this is how ridiculous he really is!" he laughed and let go of Sirius, who dropped down on the floor, only to sit up with his arms crossed.

"Prongs, you sod, you're breaking my heart," he gave a theatrical sob, "and here you made me believe that I was the only one for you, cheater!" He crawled backwards coming to a halt beside a blond girl. "That's how all men are, you know, they promise you the world, but when it gets serious they run with the tails between their legs," he snapped his fingers. "Shallow, dumb mutts, the lot," he sniffed making the girl almost fall over in laughter.

Lily just looked at them annoyed and impatient. "Sorry to interrupt, but I need to show you something, and I need your help."

"Lily? Asking us for help?" Sirius exclaimed. "Has the world gone mad?"

James shook his head. "Pad, use your mutty head some time. When she's asking, don't you think it's indeed important?" he cracked a wry smile. "Lils, Marauders only?"

She nodded.

"Our dorm in five," James then gestured.

"Thanks," Lily sighed and went towards Remus and Peter.

"Well, ladies," James turned to the crowd. "Just time for one last magnificent act," he grinned holding up his hands.

"Awww," was the disappointed response.

* * *

Lily's chest felt like set on fire, while she paced back and forth impatiently in the boys' dorm. Mona was flying above her head, following her route. Remus and Peter were sitting on a bed, watching her wide-eyed.

"Where are they?" she asked exasperated.

"Easy," Remus tried to calm her. "They'll be here in a moment."

"This is urgent!" Lily exclaimed.

"Coo," Mona hooted, almost as if the bird was reprimanding Remus for Lily.

"You do realize Lily is not really your owner, right?" Remus asked the bird following Lily's track.

The moment the bird realized it was being talked to and was wanted, it landed in Remus' lap cooing and demanding to be petted. "Then again, you are so much not a pet Severus would choose," he murmured giving his attention to the affection seeking owl.

Finally, James and Sirius came in laughing. "Oh look, Prongs," Sirius grinned pointing, "there's a beauty in our room. What do we owe the honour, milady?" he made a grand bow.

"This is no time for games!" Lily exclaimed so loudly that Mona fell from Remus' lap, flapping her wings disgruntled. "Look!" she held up a newspaper. "Remus, you must see this!" she pointed at a photograph showing a bunch of dirty looking people in what seemed like a shack in some forest. Lily turned it around to read out loud. "The Ministry of Magic is proud to announce that they managed to pin down a group of highly dangerous werewolves, who are highly suspected to be associated with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," she took a deep breath before continuing. "The newly dispatched legislation allows the Ministry to take harsh action, yada, yada..."

There was a dead silence in the room, only interrupted by a "Coo?" from Mona, who rubbed herself against Sirius' leg.

"That's very nice... er... not, it's not nice at all," James hesitated glancing at Remus. "But what has it to do with anything? There have been new werewolf decrees often these days."

"_The photograph_!" Lily exclaimed almost hysterically, pressing the newspaper into Remus' face. "Look at the photograph!"

"It's Fenrir Greyback," Remus stated darkly. "As much as I would love to see him pay for what he's done, I..."

"No, no, no!" Lily cut him off abruptly. "There!" she pointed at someone among the gathered werewolves, a small head poking out of the crowd, her huge eyes staring into the camera stubbornly.

Remus blinked and then grabbed the newspaper, gaping at the picture. "Is that..?"

"EVELYN!" Lily exclaimed. "They have Evelyn!"

"Er..." James hesitated. "Who's Evelyn?"

Annoyed Lily turned to the boys. "Remember the little girl from the Wolfsbane Potion trial a year ago?" she asked.

James eyes widened. "That little thing?"

"We must go!" Lily exclaimed. "Right now! It may even be our best shot at finding Sev!"

"Lily, be reasonable," Remus sighed. "We don't even know where they are."

"Actually," Sirius hesitated. "I think we do."

Four heads turned to him.

Sirius was studying the picture in the newspaper. "See that?" he pointed at three towers poking out of the tree-line in the background. "That's one of the old Black family estates."

"Brilliant!" Lily exclaimed. "Let's go!"

"Wow, wow, wow, Lily!" James halted her. "You just want to rush in? Without a plan? Remember what happened last time? I'm telling you, I won't allow that to happen again!"

"But it won't happen again," Lily insisted, "because the four of us are not going to fight each other! And there's no Voldemort in this place. Sev may be there and we can bring him back. He'll help making the Phoenix Fighters better again. Everything is going to be alright!"

"Lily," Remus swallowed. "The place will be packed with werewolves."

"So?" she asked sitting down in front of him, looking up in his face. "It's not full moon soon, is it?"

"Not for another two weeks," Remus muttered.

"You don't have to go," Lily assured him, taking his hands into her own with genuine caring. "I do understand, I truly do," she said offering him a tiny smile. "The fewer of us the better anyway."

Remus sighed deeply. "Of course I'm going. I don't want to stay back doing nothing, that's the worst thing you can ask of me."

Lily smiled and squeezed his hands. "You are a brave man, Remus," she told the werewolf.

"It's still foolish," he said honestly.

James nodded. "Yes, it is. Very," he said grimly. "And Lily, what about other things? The Horcruxes, the Phoenix Fighters? The Dementors?" he was listing on his hand. "Not to mention the freaking Head of Magical Law Enforcement having his eye on us. If we make one mistake, he'll have his reason to bring us in for real."

"We'll be quick and careful," Lily stated. "We'll just pop in, grab Evelyn and apparate out. No one will even notice we were absent from the school grounds."

"I say we go!" Sirius stated at once, looking like he was actually excited over the prospect of finally doing something.

"I think we should consider..." Remus hesitated.

"What is there to consider?" Lily cut him off. "What difference would planning make? We should just go!" she gestured forcefully. "For Merlin's sake, she's just a small child! I wouldn't be able to live with myself, if she died and I knew I could have saved her. We are doing nothing from inside this castle! We are bloody stuck here while Sev is out there_ risking his life_ doing Merlin knows what!"

James sighed. "You are going with or without us, aren't you?"

"How perceptive," Lily cocked her head. "Of course I am."

"Fine," James gave in. "I won't let you go alone."

"Me neither," Remus nodded.

"I'm definitely in!" Sirius exclaimed sounding far more excited than he should, making all of the others send him a look. Peter shook his head rubbing his hands nervously and shuddered slightly, but did not say anything.

Tired James hanged his head. "Tomorrow is Friday, we will leave as soon as classes are over and come back before Monday, just the four of us."

"Four?" Peter asked looking around with a frown. "We are five in here," he pointed out counting again, just to make sure.

James blinked taken aback. "You want to go? Sorry, I just assumed you didn't after what you've said. You really don't need to, if you don't."

"I don't?" Peter asked surprised at himself actually.

"Of course not, you said so yourself. Stuff like that is dangerous and we won't think less of you, if you feel it's beyond your abilities," James answered sincerely.

"I... er..." Peter looked bewildered at James, then at Sirius. "I… I don't know," he muttered and then sighed heavily. "Okay, if we are honest, what sort of help would I really be? It would be safer, if you didn't have to watch out for me too," he grumbled ashamed.

"It's fine, Pete," James assured him, patting him on the shoulder. "It takes true courage to admit such things."

Peter swallowed and bit his lip, "yeah." He clearly didn't believe it all that much. "Sure."

* * *

Friday could only come too slowly for Lily. She wanted to go and she wanted to go at once! She couldn't sleep that night and kept checking her bag for necessities. "Sev, dammit," she muttered. "You better be there." Her head snapped around to her night stand. Very, very carefully she opened the drawer and took out a long, black box. Holding her breath she didn't even dare to look, before she opened it and then sighed in relief. In the box was a beautiful silver necklace designed to look like interwoven lily flowers. It was shining brighter than silver and was so fine and elegant that it could only have been crafted by a very powerful magician. The present Sev had given her last Christmas.

The thing about enchanted objects was that when the person, who had spelled or transformed them died, the object would reverse back into its original state. Lily watched the lily petals dance for her and rearrange themselves again into a necklace. It was drenched in Sev's magic. As long as this necklace was intact, she knew for sure he was alive, making it her most precious possession. She didn't even dare to wear it anymore. Lily brushed her fingertips over the smooth silver. "Take care of yourself, dumbass," she whispered, "and don't get into a fit when I see you next." She carefully replaced the lid and pushed the box back into the drawer, as far away as possible, where no one could get to it by accident. "Sleep well," she whispered to the drawer and checked her backpack once more.

But only for her to later be twisting and turning, her heart pounding, her minds racing. "I'll show him!" she muttered to herself. "I can hold my own, I can fight!" she buried her face in the pillow. "Why does he have such a hard time getting that? I would gladly die for him and anyone close to me, I want to fight!"

* * *

Despite not being that late, it was completely dark outside when the four Marauders met, probably because of the time of the year. It was in the beginning of October and the weather was slowly getting worse. The wind was heavily ripping at everyone's cloaks, Lily's hair kept flying into her face, her cheeks red from its bite. There was no shelter to be found from the castle wall the four were creeping along, and the wind just kept raging unchecked.

"So, in and out," James whispered to the others, trying to hold his cloak around him, so it didn't flap too much. "If we need to break apart, it's me and Sirius, and Remus and Lily. Remus and I have the mirrors."

"We've gone through this already," Lily pointed out.

"Yes, but Lily," James looked at her pleadingly. "I don't want to be the reason someone died, so bear with me, and take the cloak." He reached it to her. "Sirius and I can turn into animals and blend in, they won't know we are really wizards, you two can't."

Remus accepted the cloak for Lily. "Good thinking," he stuffed the silvery cloak into his pack, fighting against the wind.

"How are we getting off the grounds from here?" Lily asked. "Why not the mirror we took last time?"

"I don't want to do anything we did last time," James said and pointed to the side. "The Whomping Willow. Sorry Moony, but it's the safest way."

Lily looked at Remus curiously, expecting an answer.

"It leads to the Shrieking Shack, where I was transforming before the Wolfsbane Potion," Remus answered honestly. "It's a bit of a mess. I don't think anyone has ever cleaned it up."

"Why would they?" James asked. "I don't think anyone of us wants to be reminded of it."

Lily swallowed, already dreading to see that place.

"Nonsense you, full moon used to be so much fun," Sirius snorted. "These days it's all but dull."

"Thanks Paddy," Remus drawled. "I for one am eternally grateful for that."

"Sorry Moony," Sirius grinned unrepentantly. "You all used to be much more fun. You spoiled them, Lils."

"Can't you be serious just once?" Lily asked.

"Oh, but I am, it's my name you know!" he pointed at himself in pride, making the others groan in annoyance. "Come on, gang!" he gestured to the willow, as if he hadn't even noticed.

"James," Lily whispered, "is it just an act or is it really his nature?"

James smiled a little warily. "A bit of both I think. I guess he was so frustrated growing up an aristocrat that he's doing anything to be less like one. If he wants he can actually be very reasonable and polite."

"That's even worse," Lily responded as they approached the willow. Sirius was already there pocking a long stick at a specific root. The entire tree froze at once.

"In here," Remus gestured. "Man, this is weird," he mumbled while sweeping away the leaves from the entrance.

"What is?" Lily asked.

"You see, I'm not only affected at the full moon, but around full moon as well. I feel beside myself in a way the last day. I was in another state of mind and all I could think of when using this entrance was what comes next. I never even noticed what it really looks like. It's odd being here without feeling so terrified."

"Aren't you terrified?" Lily asked. "I mean... we are going to that place again."

"I'm nervous, yes," Remus admitted, "but what I'm afraid of most at full moon is to lose control and kill someone innocent or even worse, infect someone. Nowadays I'm in control, full moon or not."

"That's less terrifying?" Lily was both confused and surprised.

Remus glanced back at the red-haired girl and their eyes met. "Oh yes, dying is nothing against the thought that you could be responsible for an innocent's death, while having no control over yourself at all. Worse, someone you know and care about," he took a deep breath. "My boggart is the full moon and that's something I have to face once a month. To be honest, I don't think I have it in me to ever be able to cast a Patronus."

In the distance Lily could see the Dementors coming towards them. It was hard to decide if it was so cold because of the bitter wind or them, and if they were affecting these feelings running through her. "Remus..." Lily hesitated. "You're still sure about this, with the werewolves and everything?"

James nodded. "We could even run into Greyback. That must be terrifying."

Even Sirius grew serious. "Yeah, Moony," he scratched his neck nervously. "I mean, I sure as heck am glad that you always have my back, but I would hate to see you hurt."

"Guys, there is no way on earth or in hell I'm going to let you go and fight, just standing here, watching," Remus spoke in a low, serious tone. "I don't know how I would be able to stand that."

"We'll have each other's back, all of the Marauders, right?" James looked around gravely.

Lily and Sirius nodded. "Always."

"So," Remus gestured. "Let's go." He vanished into the tunnel, closely followed by Sirius.

For a moment Lily and James just stood there. Lily glanced at the floating Dementors on the borders of the forest and slowly raised her wand. "_Expecto patronum_!" she shouted determinedly, barely managing a bit of silvery mist. "Blast!"

"Don't take it too hard," James patted her on the shoulder. "None of us has it down yet."

"I wish you could have seen what it supposed to look like," Lily sighed deeply. "Sev can do it. It looks... so beautiful! As it were an embodiment of all what is good in you, the thing that can be difficult to see, but makes perfect sense once you've seen it."

"We'll figure it out," James reassured her. "Come on, Lily, we'd better move." And he dodged down to go through the tunnel as well. Lily glanced one last time at the castle and the grey sky, before following the boys.

* * *

Lily had sworn from the moment she had tried it for the first time that she would never like the feeling of Apparation. And this time, when it was mixed with so much nerves and excitement, it was even worse, when she collapsed on the ground feeling like she was about to throw up. She tried to get her breathing under control, only to notice that the forest ground was extremely wet and the wind here just as strong as at Hogwarts, if not even stronger.

"Feeling alright?" James placed a hand on her shoulder in concern.

"Yeah," Lily responded. "It's just that damned magical transportation again. So... where are we?"

"Well, the abandoned Black estate is right over there," Sirius pointed above Lily. "No one lived here for over forty years. My great-uncle was the last one."

"But it belongs to the Blacks?" Lily asked somewhat confused.

"A lot of property does," Sirius confessed. "There was a time when the world was positively drowning in Blacks, but then everybody started having only girls I guess. Plus big names married exclusively each other and had only few children, decreasing the number of purebloods all the time. So it's only us left and well, all the places where the Blacks used to live are ours. We live in the middle of London though, at the ancestral home. It's disgusting! I hate it!" he told her looking like he really meant it. "You can see the towers from here," he pointed out changing the topic suddenly.

Lily looked up to see three towers with a red roof reaching into the sky ahead, though it was barely noticeable in the dark.

"Where's the shack then?" James asked.

"I have no idea," Sirius responded honestly. "I guess we'll have to look for it." A second later he transformed into a big, black dog and started sniffing the air, before purposefully leading them to the right.

"Put on the cloak and stick tight," James ordered, before transforming into a stag and starting to follow the dog.

"You're okay?" Lily whispered when Remus took out the cloak.

"I'm fine," he answered rather stiffly, swinging the cloak around them.

"Remus," Lily's hand searched for his and grabbed it firmly. "It's alright, I would be terrified too," she made sure the cloak was closed properly, so they would be completely invisible.

"The bad thing is, that the last time we did something like that a person got killed," Remus whispered back, as the two started walking closely, so the cloak wouldn't shift too much, still holding each other's hand for friendly comfort.

"You really think we'll find Severus here?" he asked suddenly.

"I know it's a long shot, but it's our only clue so far and I just have to try," Lily responded a little desperately. "I simply have to do this."

"It's alright, Lily. I don't know if the guys understand, but I do," he glanced in front of him, "even though it's slightly insane."

The two animals in front of them had stopped on the top of a hill and the dog lay down for cover. Voices could be heard across the field.

"I don't care what the Ministry says, our time is coming," a deep, growling voice sneered.

"Oh, good," an absolutely horrid, high-pitched woman's voice sounded, a voice Lily had heard before, over a year ago at the potion trial. The voice alone was making her sick already. What the hell was _she_ doing here? The woman continued to talk. "It makes everything so much simpler. Either you're going to follow the rules, or we will have to dispose of you. I don't know if you've heard, but I finally got my degree through, it's Wolfsbane and a Ministry worker checking that you take it, or prison."

Horrified Lily looked at Remus. "You knew?"

"I get Wolfsbane Potion for free for another half a year," Remus shrugged.

"Yes, but..."

"Shh," Remus hushed her and took a step forward forcing Lily to follow him, so they could see what the two animals were seeing. Down there was Dolores Umbridge in all her pink glory surrounded by Ministry personnel. In front of her, though a good distance away, since Umbridge wouldn't want to come too close, was a dirty looking man with nasty, tangled hair, sharp, claw-like nails and glowing eyes... the man who had ruined Remus' life... Fenrir Greyback.

Fenrir's mouth opened and he gave a barking laughter. "You are truly foolish, Umbridge," he stated licking his lips, showing his sharp teeth. He was eyeing Umbridge hungrily, despite being as unappealing as Lily thought she was. "But you'll learn, oh, you'll learn. You humans are the pathetic ones, you can't control us like that, we have the Dark Lord's blessing."

"I am of old pureblood descent," Umbridge drew herself up importantly. "I'm not an enemy to anyone here," she laughed sweetly. "And as I believe I told you, I have the Ministry behind me."

"For now," Fenrir exposed his teeth in an animalistic grin, "for now."

Dolores' toad face split into an even wider grin. "You are making this only harder for yourself," she blinked at them sweetly. "We will be back."

"Although, I would like to remind everyone," an elderly man suddenly cut in, looking sharply at the werewolves. The man was short and tightly built, with broad shoulders, a flat nose and gray hair falling down his shoulders freely, matching the rough beard on his chin. He looked very grouchy, yet his dark eyes seemed sharp as razor blades. "Every werewolf is an individual. Whatever he or she chooses will be respected by the Ministry. You won't be blamed for association with the rest, if you step forward now and separate yourself from these outlaws," the man said scanning the werewolves like a hawk, despite his bulky appearance.

"Bah!" Fenrir snorted. "Everyone here belongs here," he stated and many of the werewolves agreed in a murmur.

"Really?" the man asked sharply. "Are you sure? Aren't here any stolen people among you? Children perhaps?" He sounded slightly nonchalant.

"What makes you say that?" Fenrir asked narrowing his eyes.

The man shrugged. "You may call it a hunch," he answered in a surprisingly smooth voice.

"Regardless, Johan dearest," Dolores looked up at the man. "An animal is and will always be an animal."

"What did you call us?" Fenrir sneered dangerously.

Johan didn't even move to avoid the confrontation, just observed them coldly.

"You don't scare me, Johan," Fenrir mocked. "I can see the fear in your eyes. You fear us."

"Yes, I do, I _do_ hate werewolves," Johan admitted in a stern voice, staring straight into his eyes. "But let me assure you that it is you, who should be afraid right now." And from the way the man said that, you could feel the underlying threat. This was probably not just anybody.

"You have until Monday to decide," Umbridge announced in her pompous, high-pitched voice. "Then I will personally see to your sentence."

Lily gaped not believing her own ears, holding Remus' hand even tighter. "We need to get Evelyn out of here and quickly," Lily whispered as the Ministry people apparated away.

Remus nodded gravely watching the werewolves disappear into the shack, with the exception of the ones standing guard.

Slowly, the dog and the stag moved away and into the nearest group of trees with Remus and Lily following. The two animals transformed into humans as soon as it was safe.

"Holy crap!" James started. "You heard that? Remus, I… I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything at all then," Remus stated. "We need to get Evelyn. She could die."

Lily nodded determinedly and James and Sirius bowed their heads. "But how?" James asked. "The shack is guarded and no, Remus, you are _not _going down there alone, pretending you want to join."

It was obvious that James had read his mind correctly and Remus was about to object, but was cut off immediately.

"I think we all agree on that," Lily crossed her arms glaring at him.

"Then what can we do?" Remus asked looking at them defiantly. "The only thing I can think of is to just watch them from up the hill, hope Evelyn comes out, grab her and apparate. That is, if she ever comes out and if she isn't already dead."

"Actually, that sounds like a sensible plan," James said honestly. "We watch them until Sunday, if we haven't heard or seen her, she must have died."

"_James!" _Lily exclaimed horrified. "Don't say that! She has to be alright, this is Evelyn, she can't be dead!"

"Neither was Penelope supposed to die, but here we are,"James snapped at her angrily.

Lily blinked at him. "You still feel guilty over that?"

"I don't know how, but I ended up the leader at the time," James answered. "I took the responsibility and failed, and that's that," he sighed. "Lily, why do you rush into things? Without thinking? And that is me saying that, face the facts, Lily, this is serious and people could die."

"None of them are dead, James," Lily snapped back, "not Evelyn, not Sev! We can save them!"

"Lily," James looked like he was on the brim of giving up. "You can't save everyone."

"But at least I can try."

Remus sighed defeated. "Let's just go and set up the watch. That's all we can do for now."

"I suppose," Lily muttered bitterly.

"Well, hallo," a growling voice sounded behind them, making them all jump and whirl around to face three men with shining amber eyes, covered in dirt. "What are four so deliciously young pieces of meat doing here?" the younger black-haired man asked.

They all swallowed paling considerably.

"So, you thought we wouldn't notice you?" a blond man asked, as he started circling them. "We can smell you a mile away, just so you know. Did you come to have a look at the freaks?" he asked bitterly. "Well, go ahead!" he spread his arms. "Have a last laugh, before we eat you! Get something out of it while you can."

"Don't be ridiculous," Remus shook his head. "You don't eat people outside of full moon."

"Oh yeah, pretty boy?" the black-haired man bowed to him. "You're so neat and clean, it's disgusting. A bookish one, huh? Probably never had to scrap by like us, never been stared at," he spat at the ground. "Stupid humans, I'm glad I'm not one anymore!"

Remus shuddered and swallowed. The others moved closer to him.

"So," a dark skinned man was regarding them oddly. "What _are _you doing here?"

"Camping," James stated at once. "Just on a field trip, that's all."

"Where's your tent?" the blond man asked looking around.

"Er..." James swallowed. "We don't use one... you know, just sleep on the ground, but put up a shield, if it rains."

"Really?" the dark skinned werewolf asked. "I'd like to learn that spell."

"Stupid wizards," the blond one growled, "crying over being bitten when you actually know all about that stupid world of yours! I've never asked for this!"

"None of us did," the dark skinned man returned. "So kids, are you going to come quietly, or do we have to use force?"

The four young people exchanged looks. A moment later they had their wands in hand. "CONFRINGUS!" Lily shouted pointing somewhere behind the werewolves, making the ground explode, before they all turned and ran.

"Nice one, Lily," Sirius drawled. "Now _everyone _knows we are here."

"Oh," Lily suddenly realised they were running straight into the arms of another group, a bigger one.

Before they knew it, they were hit by Exspelliarmus from several directions and lost their wands, outnumbered and surrounded.

"Prongs," Sirius whispered out of the corned of his mouth. "We _suck _at this!"

"Yeah, thanks Padfoot," James rolled his eyes. "I hadn't noticed."

"Maybe we would be better in the frontline war business than this sneaking around? It feels like we are meant for something different, if you know what I mean."

"Shut up, Pads!"

"Just saying, we could be great under other circumstances."

James was not the only one rolling his eyes at that.

"What do we do with them?" a woman asked.

The black skinned man had finally caught up. "Bring them to Fenrir. He's always looking for fresh blood to add to the family."

"Oh, for the love of," Sirius grimaced. "Even if he _did _turn us into werewolves, none of us would join him."

"You say that so easily," the blond man from before sneered. "You don't know how it is! You are a monster and that's it!"

Remus eyes couldn't have been filled with more passion, as he looked at the people around him. "Most of you are new to this, aren't you? Grayback he…"

"Keep quiet," the woman sneered. "And come with us!"

"Remus," James whispered walking beside his friend, "not a word, you hear me."

Remus sent him a look, but did not say anything more.

Before they knew it, the Marauders were thrown into a corner of the shack, where they were left to sit facing each other, while several werewolves kept watch.

"Well, at least we are safe for another two weeks," Sirius shrugged.

"What makes you say that?" James asked him sourly.

"They are talking about turning us into werewolves, right? Well, full moon is not for another two weeks."

Remus looked up. "Good point."

"Don't get your hopes up, kiddos," the blond guard sneered. "There are ways to control the curse. Wolfsbane Potion goes in one direction, but you can go in the opposite direction too."

Slowly, Remus' eyes widened and he stared at the werewolves around him in horror. "No," he got over his trembling lips. "No, it's not true, it's only on the full moon... _only on full moon!_"

"Oh, this one is scared of us," the blond one hunched down coming closer to Remus. "I like that, I want to bite that one," he licked his lips.

"_Leave him alone!_" Lily shouted. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Lily, shut up," James demanded. "Not another word."

"But James..." she looked hurt.

"Lily, listen," James whispered. "Everyone listen, we need to be smart about this. I'm sure Severus would say the same to you, Lily. The last thing I want to happen is for us to get separated. Just think what would happen if they knew," he hinted at Remus.

Lily swallowed. "So, what do we do?"

"What can we do? We'll wait for an opportunity, any opportunity."

Lily hung her head biting her lip. Less than an hour and they were already caught up in a hopeless situation... and it was her fault. Silently, she swore she would get the boys out of it safely, no matter the cost.

* * *

_AN; phew.. sorry it took a while, troubles with the beta and all of that, the next couple of chapters should be out kind of quicker!_

_How-ever.. I want to do some commercialism for myself, Don't know how many of you know it, but I am a web video producer! Tada! and I produce videos for this site called Agonybooth making fun of movies, and yep, of cause I am going to dig into the Harry potter movies, probably before the year is over. But until then I have all-ready talked about/made fun of Sherlock Holmes, Phantom of the opera, Twilight, transformers and other stuff. The site is called Agony booth and my show is called Red suitcase adventures, go check it out, and on top of that I am also building my own private website in the hopes of using all this web experience I have to go out and life-perform again. It is indeed an exciting time for me :)  
_

_Oh, and hoped you liked the chapter, next one will be up soon.  
_


	42. stuck

The four Marauders had been left to just sit in the corner with their backs to each other, in scared anticipation for the entire night, barely able to move since they were tied down with pure magic and nothing else, it felt as if a ton of bricks had been place on top of them, and there were gritty werewolves everywhere they looked. The small hut seemed like it would fall apart at any minute, the dirt was everywhere and quite disgusting, people laid on the bed sheets equally, and were also spread out across the entire hut. Lily was the one facing away from the wall, Sirius sitting behind her staring straight into the wall, and Remus was to her right and James to her left, just in front of her, and beneath the bed Lily could see the backpack. None of the werewolves had opened it, probably believing there was nothing of interest in it, if they only knew; that invisibility cloak could be worth it all. Lily kept eyeing the bag, making sure no one touched it, but also glanced at the window where slowly the sun began to rise.

Sirius's stomach was the first one which started to growl.

"Keep quiet!" the blond man sneered, kicking at Sirius.

"Oh, I am so sorry." Sirius drawled. "I am so completely in control of my stomach! That's how it works!"

"Could we at least have some water?" Remus asked.

"Oh, so they are demanding now?" the guard asked. "Well, how about that."

The dark skinned man, who had seemed to most reasonable through this whole ordeal, rolled his eyes. "Give them some water," He ordered. "We don't want them to faint on us, do we?"

"I don't want to go all the way out to fetch water," The first guard sneered. "Let the little snot warrior do it."

"Fine, whatever." The dark skinned man shrugged.

"Hey snot baby!" The blond walked out of the little room. "Time to get moving already!"

Hopelessly Lily looked at Remus, who still just looked out in the air without seeing. There was surprisingly little to say.

"Hm." The dark skinned man thrummed. "It's like you lot look familiar..." he hesitated. "Have I ever seen you before?" he asked, his head falling askew. "Especially you." He grabbed for Remus's chin. "There's something really weird about you."

Lily looked at the man, trying to connect his face with something, anything, but nothing came to mind, not before the man was gone.

"The drug trial." Remus whispered so it could barely be heard. "He was at the drug trial."

"Oh..." Lily whispered as they were interrupted again.

"About time!" the blond snorted. "Give me some of that."

Lily's head turned, and her eyes widened as she gaped. A person smaller than the rest had stepped in, carrying a bucket of water, clearly using all of her strength and both arms to drag the heavy bucket while trying not to spill too much. She was a very pitiful sight to behold, extremely thin and dirty, her blond hair was tangled, matted and filthy, and if Lily didn't already knew the hair was golden, princess blond underneath, she would have thought it was brown or even gray. Her face was a mixture of gray and brown due to all of the dirt, but that only made her blue eyes shine as if they were made of neon light, or were cats eyes or... For a moment Lily could swear her eyes weren't blue any longer; but yellow, shining yellow like a wolf's. Lily shook her head and Evelyn's eyes went back to the unnatural blue color. She was wearing a coat, way too big for her and it dragged after her on the ground, patched up in several places, but not all so it was tattered as well, underneath she was wearing what would have to be a mans patched blouse, but it was so big she could easily use it as a dress; her feet were bare, and they looked cold. All in all, she looked angry and bitter, far from the little girl Lily knew.

"Evelyn." Lily called out, trying to fight against her magical bonds but had to give up, it was too much of a struggle.

Evelyn's angry expression didn't change in the slightest as she meet Lily's eyes, and Lily couldn't help but shudder since she was doubting whether Evelyn's eyes were blue or yellow. Evelyn dragged the heavy bucket over to them and dropped it on the ground, letting the bucket down so it landed with a big clank, spilling water on the floor, before she reached down a hand and took up a rusty old tin cup which had been swimming in the bucket and was now filled with water.

"Evelyn, it's me." Lily tried to communicate. "My God, you have grown." Indeed she had, Evelyn had grown at least a head since Lily had seen her last, and her arms looked strong and tight too, no doubt because she worked day and night like this, though, she was still just as thin, and compared to all of the werewolves around, she still looked very tiny.

"I know who you are." Evelyn responded in a low almost growling voice. "I recognize you, you're the one Severus adored so much, every time he glanced at you he warmed up, and of cause I've grown, it's been one and a half year."

"Evelyn.." Remus whispered. "We came for you, you got to help us."

Evelyn's shining cat like eyes turned to Remus, she didn't light up in hope nor enthusiasm, she just looked at him with those shining eyes of her. "I remember you to, you are the incredible friendly one, for people like us that's stupid you know. " She said and her eyes turned to Sirius and James. "And you, you accused Severus for being out to hurt you."

"Urh.. We were wrong." James swallowed. "We know that now, really we do, we were childish and stupid."

"It's all right." Evelyn shrugged indifferently. "I don't really care." She stated as she filled the tin cup with water and reached towards Sirius to press it to his mouth so he could drink. "Severus is just a guy, you are just guys, I was being stupid thinking otherwise."

"Evelyn what happened to you?" Lily asked trying to hold back the break in her voice. "We can help, what-ever it is."

"It's all right, I don't need help." Evelyn murmured taking back the glass. "You are the ones in trouble."

"Hey!" their blond guard cut in. "Don't talk to the prisoners snot welp."

"Oh please." Evelyn snorted back, her eyes flashing yellow ones more. "Like I have anything important to tell them? What kind of difference could me speaking to them make!"

"I could hurt you." The blond warned.

"Then Fenrir could hurt _you_." Evelyn pointed out in a sneer showcasing her teethes which could look a bit sharp in the right light. "I tell him it was you, Marc, and you'll be punished."

Marc scowled. "Think you're oh so important little princess."

Evelyn gritted her teethes. "I told you not to call me that! I hate being called that! And try and remember, I'm one of his children." She informed. "That's his own words." Her eyes glanced at Remus. "In his mind everyone who was bitten by him personally, while they were children are basically his own children, he protects those, he thinks of me as his real daughter, that's why he wants me here."

"Evelyn." Remus looked hopelessly at her. "please don't give into the wolf like this, fight it."

"Fight what?" Evelyn asked looking duly at Remus. "This is who I am."

"He is not your dad." Remus tried desperately.

"I know he's not my dad." Evelyn snorted. "But you can't deny he was more there for me than my real dad, my real dad can't even look at me." She told. "I know how it is now, it's nice of you to have come, but I don't need rescue."

"But Evelyn," Lily looked hopelessly at the little blond. "What about your mom? She must be worried sick."

"Do you know what my clearest memories are of my mother?" Evelyn asked seriously, and her eyes were clearly yellow now as she spoke in anger. "Her crying, I didn't know why at the time, but now I do, _I _made her cry _I _made her miserable, I _ruined _her life. She was beautiful once, you should have seen the pictures, I always thought her pictures looked like a fairytale princess, maybe even a fairy, and look what she became? Because of me, the little cursed beast, I'm with my own kind now, this is better, I am not going anywhere."

"Evelyn, listen." Remus cut in. "if you think your mother will be better with you being out here, you're wrong, I am telling you! She's probably awake every night praying you're alive, I know, I know how it is."

"_Stop_." Evelyn hissed as she offered Lily water. "I made my choice, go home if you have the chance, and say hey to Sev from me and tell him I'm all right. Tell him not to bother."

Lily had to swallow the water before she looked at Evelyn. "Sev is missing." She told. "Actually, we had hoped he might be here for you to."

"Missing?" Evelyn asked, for the first time altering from the unnerving silent persona into one of surprise, and then closed her eyes. "I shouldn't have been surprised. All the good ones go… _missing_ these days, and they don't return, he is just a guy after all. When you get out of here, don't you dare go to my mother." She told turning around leaving the bucket.

"Lily..." James hesitated. "How old is that girl?"

"Six and a half the last time I met her." Lily responded honestly. "So, seven or eight now, why?"

"She talks like an adult." James responded. "It's creeping me out."

"She didn't the last time I saw her." Lily had to swallow.

Remus had to shake his head. "What did you expect?" he asked Lily. "Lord knows how long she's been here, and well, it had to happen, the day she figured what she was, she would become adult overnight, it's a terrible thing but it's how it is. And this is even worse!" Remus looked over his shoulder. "She learned it from them." He looked at the filthy werewolves keeping guard.

"We have to get her away from here; this isn't a place for a child." Lily stated. "I don't care what she says, she shouldn't be here."

"But Lily," James injected. "What if we can't?"

"What if we can't?" Sirius snorted. "The kid is in trouble without knowing it, that's lousy giving up like that! We are in the middle of an army Prongsi, Lils right, kids don't belong such places. If we don't get her, she's going to _die _on a battle field."

Lily didn't know whether she should be grateful or cry that it was Sirius out of all of them which delivered the winning argument.

"I think you are all forgetting something." Remus sighed.

"What?" Lily asked a little annoyed.

"We kind of need to safe ourselves before we can even start thinking of Evelyn." He told them.

"Oh..." Lily mumbled.

"And I'm sorry to say it, but let's not count on Severus will suddenly pop out of the blue." Remus told gravely.

"Of course not." Lily sighed.

"Lily…" James muttered. "Why do you rush so quickly into things without thinking?"

"It's who I am James! Why can't you people understand that?" Lily asked. "I'm happy to die for what's right."

Defeated James shook his head. "Severus is right to love you so dearly." He at last stated.

"Thanks, I think." Lily replied a little thoughtful.

And ones again they were left in silence, bound together by the magic.

Lily sighed deeply. "One have to wonder when werewolves transforms and it's so dangerous, why don't people just not body bind them so they are defenceless the entire night?"

"Simple." Remus responded. "Werewolves are magically repellent, and that's what makes them dangerous, things such as the body bind, sleep inducing spells, magical ropes and so forth don't work, the werewolf touches the magical rope and it breaks, the curse and it breaks. It's the same thing with some dragon species and troll species."

James looked up. "Moony?" he spoke.

"Yeah?" Remus responded.

"Erh, you know I love you man right?" James asked. "And I would never ever want to hurt you; you're like a brother to me."

"Prongs, what are you getting at?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, I kind of would like to know too." Sirius responded.

"Look, we all agreed our chances for survival are pretty slim and any try to get out counts, right?" James asked.

"Urh, yeah." Sirius responded.

"You got an idea?" Lily asked.

"Just now. Remus, I am so sorry! And if I could see any other way out of this, without us being killed, I would not do this! I swear to you."

"Prongs..." Remus hesitated. "Do what you must, okay?"

"Believe me, I am sorry." James whispered before he yelled at the nearest werewolf. "Yo! Beasty!"

"What?" the young blond man sneered.

"Yeah, you!" James snorted. "You're not so dangerous, are you, beast-born?" he snorted. "Pathetic."

"James what are you..." Lily started only to receive a slight nudge from James.

"Oh yes bad breath!" Sirius continued for James. "I'm sure happy that I'm not as hairy as you! I mean phew! That's gotta be a fate worse than death!"

"It is a fate worse than death!" The blond man sneered. "Like to try it, pretty boy?"

"Hah." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Werewolves are something you are born as, I how-ever, am I a full-blood wizard, and I can't ever be a werewolf."

"Right you are Padfoot." James returned. "I'm a fullblood too, and man is you going to be sorry when the right people figure you have us."

Lily's eyes widened as she pieced two and two together, and immediately her hand searched for Remus's to grab it tightly, to somehow try and assure him.

"Oh, so you can't be werewolves?" the young man asked. "Too good to be one of us he say, too important to be one of us he say, well! Shouldn't we see about that?" he sneered. "I'll show you, show you what old Fenrir discovered, the transformation can be halted, the transformation can be exposed!" and he drew his wand, Remus's hand let go of Lily's and moved as far away as he could.

"Oh brother." The black man covered his eyes. "Well, I guess they would have died any-way."

"Lupina Shactra!" The young werewolf exclaimed and a glob of light escaped his wand, floating up against the ceiling.

And the young man spread out his arms deliberately starring at the ball, while the others covered their eyes at to shield themselves.

And the blond started twisting started howling, his backs stretching his arms stretching, him screaming in a mixture of pain and delight.

Only, he wasn't the only one.

Remus had no way of shielding his eyes and he cried in pain and fear cried as he's face was distorted his body growing.

"JESUS CHRIST!" the black man picked. "One of the kids already is a werewolf!"

And the without warning the invisible bounds around the four teenagers broke. "RUN FOR IT!" James exclaimed grabbing the still transforming Remus by the arm dragging him up while Remus was crying in pain.

Sirius wasn't late to take the other arm and the two dragging Remus stormed out between the confused werewolves with Lily closely following their tale.

Lily how-ever, dug straight after their pack bag and then leaped to her feet's clutching the object to her chest.

None of the werewolves able to comprehend what happened or stop them as uncovering their eyes would mean transformation, and instant pain.

"Hold on bro!" James yelled as they got outside. "We are almost gone from that thing, almost!"

"The castle!" Sirius exclaimed. "WE CAN HIDE IN THE CASTLE!"

"Let's go then!" Lily exclaimed taking the lead.

Remus groaned as it look like he shrank between James and Sirius, his face and hand finding its proper form his teeth de-sharpening. "That is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you've ever had." He groaned looking beyond pale and very ill.

"Moony, I'm so sorry." James responded.

"We are alive, what is there to say?" Remus asked as his entire body trembled between them. "And we know how they are able to cheat now." He pointed out as James and Sirius dragged him between them. "I think I am going to hurl any minute now." He commented almost as a sickly afterthought.

"There they are!" A werewolf yelled. "After them!"

Lily clutched the bag she was holding in her arms, and then without thinking, she pushed the boys so they fell down on the ground beside a little hill and threw herself on top of them so she was laying on top of Remus and James, before dragging the silvery invisibility cloak out of the back and spread it across all of them, just in time for a number of werewolves to run right past them.

Lily held her breath as she saw the running people in the horizon getting away; before suddenly, beneath her, Remus hunched over, unable to keep it in any longer, and threw up on the ground.

"Hey!" James exclaimed. "My cloak!" he got it away and got himself away from the sick werewolf.

"Ewww!" Sirius exclaimed disgusted trying to get the puke of his cloak.

Remus how-ever, looked beyond miserable and sweaty, his skin really sickly pale and his hair sticking to his forehead as he dried his mouth with his sleeve. "Werewolf transformation is unnatural in the first place." He told. "And this is worse! I can't even imagine what the consequences will be of doing this frequently! They could die from this… or even worse."

"What could possibly be worse than dying?" Sirius asked as he disgusted had gotten his over coat off and now rubbed it against the forest ground, as if it would help to get the smell of puke away.

Remus looked annoyed at Sirius. "I could think of a few things." He told drying the sweat of his forehead.

Concerned Lily sat down with him and felt his forehead. "You're burning up." She whispered concerned. "You shouldn't have gone, Remus."

"I knew what I was going into." Remus told sternly. "And by the way, good thinking Lily."

"Yeah." James smiled. "Remus, I know you must fell terrible."

"That's putting it lightly." Remus grimaced.

"But we better get to that castle; we better get you somewhere dry." He lifted Remus up by the arm and supported him, both Lily and Sirius jumping to the action almost fighting to get allowed to take the other arm. At last Lily won, and slowly, the four went for the castle.

* * *

Inside Sirius lead them upstairs, until they found a dust filled, web covered bed room with a fireplace. "Shoot." Sirius groaned as Lily and James placed Remus down on the bed. "How do you start a fire without a wand! We're doomed!"

Lily lifted an eyebrow. "You do realize only five percent of the world's population are wizards right?" she asked.

"What has that do with anything?" Sirius snorted.

"_They _had fire as long as you had, and numerous ways of making it." Lily snorted back. "James do you mind?" she asked taking his glasses without permission.

"Hey! What was that for?" James asked.

"Watch." Lily instructed, placing herself before the fireplace.

"See that's the trouble without my glasses… I can't." James returned annoyed.

Lily didn't answer as she just sat on her knee placing the glasses in the right direction so the sun shone in on them, and a little light spot was to be shown on the beyond dry wood. For a couple of minutes she just sat there, the three remaining guys looking intrigued at her, before suddenly, the wood started to smoke, and in a couple of minutes more, a flame appeared.

"Whoa!" Sirius commented. "I thought you didn't know how to do wandless magic!"

"It's not magic!" Lily snorted. "I just used the sun rays and intensified them with the glasses!"

"Erh… Sounds like magic to me." Sirius told honestly. "I don't understand."

Lily rolled her eyes returning the glasses to James before she sat down at Remus's bed side and felt his forehead. "You're still burning hot." She whispered.

"I feel better, though." Remus responded in a vague smile, which didn't help him much since his hair was plastered to his head and his face was still pale.

"Oh god, oh god." Lily shook her head. "We only have the rest of today and tomorrow."

"Lily, I know you hate to hear this, but just consider it." James sat down very seriously. "What if I just went in there alone under my invisibility cloak?" he asked. "That leaves me free to roam about, only I can get caught, I can try and get the wands and Evelyn, and we are all good to go."

"Or, even better," Lily crossed her arms. "I'll borrow your cloak and I go in."

"No way!" James exclaimed. "No way in hell!"

"Besides." Remus told from his bed. "You heard Evelyn, Fenrir sees me as his child, it would be best if I go in, even if they do catch me it would be very unlikely that I got hurt."

"You're sick!" Sirius pointed out with crossed arms. "And why can't I go? I'll just turn into a dog and run for it, they'll think I'm a werewolf to."

"Padfoot, that's stupid!" James exclaimed.

"And it was me who got us all into this sorry mess." Lily began. "So it's only fair I get us out!"

"Lily I said no!" James stood up.

"James I'm not a child!" Lily stood up. "Why does everybody always treat me like a child?"

"I'll tell you why!" James responded angrily. "Because you're a seventeen year old girl who rushes in without thinking! Generally biting off way more than you can chew! Who do you think you are! The chosen one perhaps? Destined to go out saving all of us!" James mocked gesturing wildly with his arms. "Say what you will about Snape, but at least he thinks things through from every possible angle before going in, and to jump into his plans is the same thing as disturbing him!"

"James, I know Sev, he's _my _childhood friend, and I _love _him!" Lily answered angrily.

"So do you?" James asked with crossed arms. "Then tell me honestly, would he be the least bit happy to see you here?"

Lily opened her mouth, ready to spit out a straight answer, any straight answer, but none came out. Furiously she went over it inside of her head, determined to come up with something, but nothing came to mind.

"I see." James sat down on a chair.

Lily was deeply red as she looked away, trying to blink away the tears, she was so ashamed and yet she still tried to think of an answer, but none came to mind.

"I'm confused." Sirius suddenly stated. "Why are we even here at all?"

"For several good reasons." Lily stated looking hateful at James, a look she had only given him long ago in the past when he had hit on her and she thought it disgusting, only this time was worse. "Because any way we can beat a little sense into Sev's thick skull is a good way, to figure out what the heck is going on in the wall, to see if we can pick a trace of the horcruxes, and the safe Evelyn… Evelyn has to be most important." She looked at the other. "She's just a child."

"We are stuck here." James muttered, annoyed. "Without wands, without a plan, without anything, Thanks Lily."

"You're welcome James." Lily returned just as coldly.

"Uhm, guys." Remus interrupted. "I hate to disturb, but uh..." he tried to sit up and cringed a bit before he continued. "I think I hear voices."

"Oh no." Sirius shook his head. "Now Moony is going insane to."

Remus looked sourly at Sirius. "I mean from beneath the floor. Is it possible someone is using this castle?" he asked.

"Who the heck would want to use this old dusty dump?" Sirius asked.

Already Lily was down on the floor, her hands and ear pressed against it, listening intensely. "I'll tell you who," She told the others. "I'd recognize that horrible voice anywhere in the world, it's those dastardly people planning to exterminate the werewolves Monday if they don't surrender." She whispered. "The Ministry of Magic, Dolores Umbridge's department!"

"UMBRIDGE!"

The four teenagers yelled simultaneously, staring wide-eyed at each other, before both Lily and James were down on the ground pressing their ears against the floor.

"Wait, who's Dolores Umbridge?" Sirius asked from his sitting position.

Lily sat up, giving him a sour look. "You're such an idiot." She commented.

"What?" Sirius asked confused.

"We saw her, remember?" James reminded "At the drug trial last year, she's the head of department for Magical Creatures _and _she's the one solely responsible for everything becoming more and more difficult for Remus. She's constantly in the newspapers with her oh-so-good intentions about werewolves."

Sirius still stared blankly at James.

"She's the fat lady in the pink dress we saw yelling at Fenrir yesterday."

"Ohhh!" Sirius realized. "Oh I hate her! Let's go hurt her!"

Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head, pressing her ear against the wooden floor once more. Unfortunately, they had stopped talking below and instead just wandered around.

"Wait a minute." Remus stopped them. "That's the Ministry; we can't fight against the Ministry!"

"The Ministry is corrupt." Lily informed. "We can't trust them, and well, no one can see us here, and they would have no trouble hurting Evelyn or Severus!"

"Beside this is Umbridge." James reminded Remus. "She would love to have an excuse to kill you, literally."

"I'll say we kill her first!" Sirius grinned, receiving three annoyed stares. "I was only kidding." He assured.

"Quiet!" Lily hissed. "We don't want them to know we're up here! What if they came up?" she whispered.

"What if they already heard us yelling?" James asked, all of them sitting back in stunned quiet.

They just sat there for several seconds, in complete silence, listening intensely to all that was going on. Lily could swear that her heart was beating like a drum, and nothing happened.

"Erh." Sirius whispered in a low voice. "If they had heard us, don't you think they would have come up by now?" he whispered.

Lily swallowed, and then nodded. "Now what?" she asked.

"We stay here." James whispered. "And are very, very quiet, then as soon as those Ministry people clear out, we clear out."

"I like that." Lily whispered back.

However, the Ministry people didn't seem to want to clear out anytime soon, causing the four marauders to listen intensely to the footsteps and the voices beneath them. Remus was the first one to fall asleep, exhausted and ill as he was. Lily soon laid on top of the covers and quickly fell asleep as well.

James woke Sirius twice from a snoring slumber in the chair, only going to sleep himself as Lily woke and the hours passed by.

At last as James woke and he yawned deeply, then found his silvery cloak.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lily asked annoyed.

"The loo, madame." James responded, annoyed. "That is if you don't mind."

"Oh." Lily realized. "Actually, can I borrow the cloak when you're done?"

"If you promise the loo is all you're going to do." James looked seriously at her.

"Of course." Lily rolled her eyes. "You know, you're not very good at this trusting thing."

"_You _are _not_ making it easy, Miss Rush-in-without-permission." James snapped back, covering himself with the cloak. "I'll be back in a minute." He promised, slowly opening the door, looking out to each side before stepping out, making sure no one was there. He looked around and found the stairs, deciding to just go outside to the bushes instead of wasting time searching for a loo, where potential enemies could walk in on him because they needed to use it as well. Thankfully, the travel downstairs and out to a bush was without any inconveniences, and James got to his business quickly and swiftly before covering himself with the cloak, looking over his shoulder, and heading back for the entrances to the castle, stepping through the gates when suddenly a hand with long scrawny fingers reached out and grabbed his shoulders to drag him into a tiny room. James screamed like a little girl since he suddenly stood inches away from two furious black eyes staring with burning anger into his soul, and then the white, cold hand was slapped against his screaming mouth as a dangerous, low yet smooth voice hissed.

"Quiet."

James could only stare wide-eyed at the man towering above him, and then swallowed as he nodded, the hand slowly moving away. "Sna-Sna-Sna-Snape." James stammered barely able to recognize the teenager same age as him, who looked so incredibly dangerous right now, staring madly at him.

"Who else?" Snape sneered furiously, that voice sounded very much unlike any Snape James knew of; it went straight to his bones and sent a chill down his spine as the black eyes pierced his soul. "Now tell me _Potter_." He drawled. "What are you and your little gang doing here?"

"I… I think the same as you." James swallowed. "Evelyn, we saw her in the Prophet."

"I've been working months to get where I am." Severus snared taking James by his collar, almost shaking him. "Planning and infiltrating, all to get Evelyn, you are in the way." He sneered. "You are ruining everything Potter! I hope you realize this!"

"Yeah, tell me about it!" James looked wide-eyed at Snape. "I tried to tell Lily, honestly, but she would have gone no matter what!"

Snape looked just as grimly at James, and James really started to wonder if Snape was a human being or something entirely different as he looked far too scary and intimidating at the current time to be a seventeen year old wizard, he squinted his black gleaming eyes at James as his unusually strong hand still held so tight in James robes, before at last, it loosened a bit. "Get out of here." Snape demanded.

"Now hold on." James stopped up, taking a step backwards so Snape didn't have a hold on him any longer. "Lily has done nothing else then worrying about you every day since you left, the least you can do is go talk to her."

"What I may do or not do is no concerns of yours, Potter." Snape hissed crossing his arms. "Get back to Hogwarts, _now!" _

"Love to, but the werewolves took our wands." James shrugged. "Care to help Severus?"

Snape looked beyond furiously at James. "Since when," He drawled, "Have we been on first name basis?"

"Since the day I promised to look out for you of course." James almost grinned. "So tell me Severus old pal, what have you been up to lately?" he asked, dashing playfully at Severus.

"_That." _Snape drawled in a voice that quite frankly scared James, as it sounded so extremely serious and dangerous, nothing remotely resembling a way Snape could talk before in time, though he didn't try to show it. "Is no concern of yours, _Potter._"

"No, seriously." James looked at Snape. "What have you been doing? Why didn't you come back? How could you know about Evelyn months in advance?"

"As I said," Snape warned with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "That is no concern of yours." He grabbed down to his side and quickly found a chandelier on the table to mumble. "_Portus_." Looking at James he said, "This Portkey will activate in twenty minutes and go straight to Hogwarts. Now _go!_"

Hesitantly James took the old chandelier, looking at it, then at Severus. "You have to talk to Lily." James then at last said. "Please!"

"I trust you are taking good care of her?" Snape asked with crossed arms.

"Well, I'm trying." James responded. "But it's not..."

"Then that's that." Snape sneered, grabbing the coat. "_Go!" _he threw the cloak over James.

James sighed deeply. "You know what! The only one more stubborn than Lily, thats gotta be you! You are made for each other in impossibility! Man, I'd hate to ever be a house guest at your house!"

"Go!" Snape sneered again pushing James. "And don't you dare look for me, you won't find me."

"Fine fine." James rolled his eyes. "But you have to explain yourself sometime! How did you get here?"

"No concern of yours." Snape responded.

James was mad as he wandered the stairs again, he felt like he should have dragged Snape with him, only trouble was that Snape had a wand and he didn't… yet. Aoon as James had reached the room and saw the people in it; Remus looking ill as hell in bed, Lily looking determined and worried, and Sirius looking unusually serious he had made his decision as he threw away the cloak and wandered directly over to Remus.

"Here, hold this." He offered the chandelier to Remus.

"What for?" Remus asked, wiping his brow of sweat, though admittedly, he looked a hell of a lot better than before.

"Just hold it for ten minutes." James shrugged.

"Eh.. Okay." Remus responded, rather confused as James sat down and waited. Waited for a couple of minutes, until suddenly, a very surprised Remus disappeared out in thin air.

Both Sirius and Lily gaped. "What happened?" Lily asked.

"The Chandelier is a portkey." James grimly made aware. "Remus is back at Hogwarts, I knew no one would have fallen for it if I had asked two to hold it at the same time, so I picked Remus out of all of us, he's sick and emotional, Snape made it, he's hiding somewhere downstairs."

"WHAT!" Lily exclaimed. "Sev is here!" and she brightened up. "I knew it!" she triumphed. "He had to come, he's controlled by his heart of all times, he had to be here for Evelyn."

Although, by the door the looming figures was listening. "Idiots." Severus whispered. "Fools."


	43. The story of the half blood prince

_- Four months prior - _

The picture was at Spinners end, the poor part of the village, so all of the houses looked dirty, worn out, and like they were just about to fall apart. They stood closely packed with little room between them, as if someone tried to squish as many houses in as possible on the space that was Spinners end, which made it so strange that there was a patch without any house on it.

There were only the black remains of one, which were very little. This house had burned to the ground.

What looked like an elderly broad shouldered man stood outside of the ground and looked in. He had iron gray, shoulder long hair, a beard, and a very firm jaw.

He was wearing black fine quality muggle clothes and his knuckled fingers hung down by his sides as his black eyes beheld the grounds with a heavy and empty look in them.

The reason why the eyes were black, because there was a reason, was that transforming ones eye colour was one of the more difficult transfiguration spells. So he was stuck with those. The rest of him was completely unrecognisable; his supposed smooth skin was wrinkled, his shoulders were broader, his body a little shorter, his face looked kind of sallow because of his constant facial expression, he had a beard covering his chin, and his otherwise signature hooked nose was absent. In it's stead was a smaller, wider, even downright flat nose.

Severus had been very careful while placing his disguise as he did have a supply of polyjuice potion and thought it was safer to place the charms he would have to re-apply daily, not hourly. Even if he missed it a day, the transformation back to his own self would happen slowly and over the course of a few days or if someone threw a revelation charm. Of course, using polyjuice also meant he would become the double of someone, and that could always turn out to become troublesome, plus it was probably better to save his limited to supply too, in case he would need to impersonate somebody specific or change his appearance very quickly.

And he found that he was satisfied looking like an old man; finally he looked like he felt… just very old and unpleasant.

It was strangely ironic to watch the few pitiful, black remains of his former home; it was like seeing the illustration of his life… it was exactly like this. A house that had burned down to the ground a good while ago.

One year ago today, when he had been sitting by a stream with the love of his life, in his head he had made a list of what he wanted and what he didn't wanted.

He wanted Lily… well screw that, he didn't even deserve Lily… he wanted her friendship... that was the same... he wanted her safety, but failed miserably at that!

He did not want to become a teacher... screw it, he had somehow ended up starting acting like one anyhow, giving out defence lessons as if his life depended on it.

He did not want to live a life of deceit and lies… well hurrah; he was walking around presenting himself as Leonard Jones… good job old boy!

He did not want to be thrust into schemes so complicated that no one really understands them… urgh... If he were being ironic, he would have been laughing.

He would not want his only reason to stay alive paying off a debt. Oh sod off! That was exactly what he was doing!

The only goal it seemed he had somewhat achieved was to not be in league with Voldemort... instead, he had managed to become Voldemort's sworn enemy number one… yippee….

And he had been stupid enough to think he could be a person people respected... he had been foolish enough to think he could ever respect himself... there was just no way that was ever going to happen.

All in all, this scheme of him being here at all, twenty-two years out of his time was completely and utterly pointless! He was so useless in this situation that he couldn't even protect the people who depended on him. He couldn't even keep them safe, although he tried.

He turned around to leave the blackened rubble of his home. These last months had been so pointless. He had gotten nothing out of them! Sure, he had been searching and listening to death eaters and he had done what he had found to be the only logical course of action when he had no other specific goal besides finding the horcruxes, plus he tried to be in the eye of the action, he tried to snatch out any clues as to their whereabouts, and he rejoined the Order of the Phoenix. Few knew it was he, though.

"_This is my choice, Albus." Severus had told as they sat together at a café, crowded with people, ideal for a meeting. "I can't rest before he __goes__ down and I need to be a part of it." _

_Dumbledore nodded. "I understand __you're__ not to be taken for granted and so I will follow your wishes." He folded his hands. "However, I need to be sure __you're__ not just running." _

_Severus __raised__ an eyebrow. "Albus, you know how to read people and you know how to read me, you always did, so even attempting to lie to you seems futile to me." He lifted his __teacup__ to take a sip. "__I've__ got my reasons, as I told you, __and__ it is my choice. Take the help I am offering or leave it."_

"_Of __course__ I am going to take it Severus," Dumbledore sighed. "You knew that even before we met. I fear it is not only me who can supposedly read you, but it is more __vice__ versa. I don't even know what I might have been telling you in another life time," __He changed the topic again__. "You would, of __course,__ be safest at Hogwarts and I have __to__ say that's where you should be for another year__. But__ you don't really want that and I can't keep you__. This__ is a difficult position__:__first,__ you are Voldemort's first priority, he is scared of you and __wants__ to see you killed before you can grow any stronger." Dumbledore smirked __slightly__. "And to everyone __other__ than me and to take a guess, Miss Evans, you are just a seventeen year old. I don't think many of the order members will want to __cooperate;__ they will probably treat you as a child." _

_Severus rolled his eyes. "I had been meaning to disguise __this, of course__." He gestured __to himself__. "This seventeen year old persona carries no importance in the wizarding world, nor at a work institution or anything else. I am __still myself__. If it is Severus Snape or Leonard Jones who goes on field missions, it doesn't really matter."_

"_Of __course__," Dumbledore nodded. "Seems like a good plan to me. I might as well put you to use right away__ as__ I am sure you __want__, and you also __must__ know __that we don't just attack Death __Eaters, we __also__ try to gather information and then protect. __That is what you're to do on this mission:__ a family of muggleborn parents will need a guard for safe passage to Germany. You will meet up with Arthur Weasley at the Leaky __Cauldron__.__ Do you__ know how __you are contacted__ when there is a meeting?" he asked. _

_Severus smirked. "You send a message from Fawkes." _

"_Indeed," Dumbledore acknowledged. "I can trust you can handle yourself when there is nothing to do?"_

"_Of __course__." Severus nodded. _

And that's how it was. Severus had done what ever he could, when he could, as Leonard Jones, the old, grumpy, and to be quite frank, unpopular man among the order members, though he liked it that way. No longer was he out for glory or recognition like in his youth so long ago. Now, the only thing he sought was redemption. He wanted two things: Lily's safety and revenge against Voldemort, which went hand in hand, so it was Voldemort's demise that had top priority. It just made it all the more frustrating that it didn't seem like he had come the least bit closer in the last several months.

Now, for some reason, his feet brought him to a house that was still standing, but was empty. The windows allowed him view into the empty rooms of the Evans'. The garden was unkempt, the grass growing high and wild and weeds growing in the flowerbeds. Severus sighed as he eyed the lilies, petunias, marguerites and violets, the poor flowers seeming to be drowning in the unwelcoming weeds.

Looking warily over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching him, Severus entered the garden and bowed down over the flowerbeds to try and remove the weeds, but there were so many and they seemed to have rooted so deeply in the dirt that the task was nigh impossible, and there was no point in it anyway, so he turned away and walked out. He shouldn't even have gone there in the first place.

Maybe if his mind hadn't been so dark and gloomy, and if he hadn't been so determined just to remove the weed, he would have noticed that the weed plant was a mist flower, a plant of very small and delicate, white flowers. However, only one of the buds had actually opened into a flower and Severus had totally missed it. In time, all of the small buds would open to reveal the white flowers and would mingle with the other flowers, not obscuring them, but pulling them together. Even though it was supposedly a weed.

* * *

- _A few weeks after – _

God damn it! Merlin! Did Marauders even know the meaning of safety?

What had they been thinking to come to Diagon Alley? Every single person who had been at that mansion was a target and as dense Potter, Black and Lieve were, they were not that big of morons! Plus Lily, Remus and Regulus were there too, with actual brains! They should have been able to say it was a bad idea! _Merlin_! They were kids all right, the lot of them.

At least they were gone now, or at least Severus hoped so. Kreacher was a very faithful house elf, as was the story with all house elves as long as their masters were kind to them. He had managed to quickly _Imperius_ Lieve from his hiding place so he could give Regulus the message through her. He picked her as the most simple minded out of the entire lot, including Sirius Black the mutt as well, surprisingly, but the country girl was just so... simple. And then, of course, Severus had created a diversion.

Right now the death eaters and snatchers looked pretty damn dim witted down there, looking all over the place, trying to figure out just what had happened, Severus couldn't help but snort.

Good thing he had decided to follow the Marauders, whom he had spotted as they came out of the fireplace when he had been sitting at the Leaky Cauldron, looking like his old, broad shouldered counterpart. He really had had little choice but to follow.

Jesus, kids!_ I am going to hex Dumbledore the next time I see him!_ No wait, it was vacation... ergo Dumbledore could not really be held accountable, and there were three full weeks left of vacation, so he supposed he should just count himself lucky they had stayed out of trouble so far!

Maybe it would be safer if he returned, so he could pull them by their ears! But he knew it was not what he was meant to do. He was supposed to be here.

Muttering and cursing to himself, Severus walked down the roof, careful not to be seen, only to get the distinct feeling of being watched as he went down to the main street again. He turned around and was met by a familiar face, only the face was one amongst so many others plastered out on the wall. Lupin, the face of Remus Lupin, was on a poster, and underneath it in clearly spelled words "Be on the look out, werewolf attending Hogwarts". Without much thought, Severus ripped it down, and then summoned what ever else there was, thankfully only three parchments.

Though a little to the left, a little girl also had gotten her poster. Severus sighed as he ripped down the face of Evelyn.

Why were the common wizards such cowards? Urgh.

Deciding to treat himself a spot of fire whiskey for the trouble, he ventured to the Leaky Cauldron. He had never been and would never become a person who drank to become drunk, which would have been the easy way out a long time ago. But he sought his redemption by not adding another sin to the list. And he refused, he simply refused to become his father.

He just liked the taste of fire whiskey, and that's that.

So grumpily, he re-entered the Leaky Cauldron to be met by the sight of a pitiful, drunk, blond woman who hadn't moved as much as an inch since his venture. Pathetic, that's what that was.

"A fire whiskey," he barked at Tom, the bartender. "And make it a strong one."

Tom raised an eyebrow. "Well, that must have been an exciting escapade, Mr. Jones," he commented.

Severus snorted.

"No need to be rude." Tom then replied dryly. "One fire whiskey coming up."

The blond woman stirred at the sound of voices.

Severus rolled his eyes, impatient for the fire whiskey. Wasn't it about time to throw a bucket of water on top of her so she could wake up and stagger home to a bed? It was only midday and she was really, extremely pathetic.

"I also… want a fire whiskey…" she suddenly uttered in a blurry voice.

Tom shook his head as he placed the little glass in front of Severus and turned to the woman. "I think you had quite enough," He sighed, "I get you some water."

"Damn it, just give me the damn fire whiskey!" The woman reached out and grabbed Tom by the collar as she looked at him with red eyes and a red face telling a story this wasn't her first recent drinking spree. "Or give me my daughter! But I suppose you can't do that, like everyone else on this stupid planet! So fire whiskey!"

"I don't know what happened to your daughter, but you need to calm down," Tom told the woman calmly as if he had training in how to deal with drunks.

"You all on your high horses," The woman spat. "Think you're all better and she's not worth anything, well your wrong! She's worth more than anyone in this stupid hellhole and I want her back!" she starting shaking Tom. "Just give me Evelyn!" she burst out in tears.

"Andrea?" Severus was flabbergasted for a second.

Tom turned to Severus. "You know her?"

"Sort of…" Severus hesitated.

The slurry Andrea Weatherfield, mother of little Evelyn Weatherfield, let go of Tom to slowly turn to Severus.

"You know my name..." she whispered.. "I don't know you…" she seemed extremely confused, before she widened her eyes. "You're one of them aren't you!"

"No I..." But Severus was cut short as her drunken rage was enforced and now fully turned towards him, as he was now the one she grabbed, and he could literately smell the old alcohol and muck.

"Give me my daughter!" she screamed.

"Andrea calm down, I don't have Evelyn. I didn't take her!" He tried.

"Oh no." she starred at him. "You're from the ministry!" and she scrambled backwards, landing on the floor. "GET AWAY FROM ME, I'M NOT MENTAL! I DON'T NEED HELP!" and in a complete turn around she threw herself at him, grabbing the bottom of his robe. "Please just help me! I'll do anything! Just give me back Evelyn!"

"Andrea, listen!" Severus tried. "I don't know…" and again he was cut off my one of her mood swings.

"You're slime!" Andrea hoisted herself up. "You fucking bastard! You don't know anything! She is worth more than any of you filthy lot!" and she had the audacity to spit at him. "You cowards!"

"All right, that's enough!" Severus sneered, pushing the woman away and towering over her, Andrea looking at him with wide-fearful eyes. And forcefully, he grabbed her by the wrist.

"Let go of me!" Andrea at once screamed as she tried to twist away. "I'm not mental! Let go let go! I didn't do anything wrong! We didn't do anything wrong!"

With a well-rehearsed pull, Severus got her close and forced a vial down her throat, while Andrea screamed and struggled all the way, almost strangling on the liquid. She had to swallow and at once she started to topple, blinking confusedly as her eyes became misty before she slumped down into Severus' arms.

"What did you do?" Tom asked wide-eyed.

"I merely gave her a sleeping draught." Severus snorted. "One of the kinds which ensures that when she wakes, she will be sober."

Sadly Tom shook his head. "So many senseless victims in these dark times, poor woman."

Severus snorted. To him what he had witnessed just again went to show what a weak person Andrea was. He sighed as he lifted her up in his arms. "What does she owe?" Severus asked.

"3 sickles and five knuts." Tom shrugged, and Severus threw four sickles on the table to also pay for his own fire whiskey, before walking to the door with the stinking Andrea laying slump as a rag doll in his arms. With a pop, he disapparated.

* * *

-_ The next day – _

Severus frowned deeply as he sat with crossed arms in front of Andrea.

How did he keep getting himself into these stupid situations?

It was quite amazing really; he was meant to be the sullen grumpy one who didn't give a damn about other peoples feelings and he had done quite well being that person for years. Then in this new life, everything went topsy turvy and it was only too typical that he had spend the entire day watching over someone he barely knew yet couldn't leave behind. Andrea had been sleeping a full day now, indicating she had had to be both physically and mentally exhausted. She had started groaning now though, as a hand found it's way to her forehead. "Ow..." she groaned in a hoarse voice. "My head."

Severus snorted from his position.

At once Andrea's eyes flew up and she rolled around to stare at Severus with wide eyes. "Who are you? Where have you taken me?" she sprung up and fell down again, clutching her stomach and rolling her eyes before she shook her head.

"Andrea, calm down," Severus said, annoyed. He lost a great deal respect for the; he hated drunks oh so much.

"I demand to know who you are!" she spat at him. "Let me go! Did you come to poke fun at me! Well it isn't funny! Did the ministry send you? Or god help me, did Erick send you to get me out of the way?"

"None of that sort." Severus said sternly as he walked over to her and gripped her firmly by the wrists to manhandle her violently back onto the bed. "And I suggest you calm down!"

"NO!" Andrea shouted as she thrashed. "You let me go! Right now!"

"What?" Severus sneered. "So you can go out and have another drink?"

"What does that matter to you?" Andrea hissed.

"It matters!" Severus sneered. "Because you should be damn ashamed! What would Evelyn think!" he almost shouted.

"Evelyn..." Andrea visibly paled. "How do you—?" her eyes widened. "You're one of them, aren't you?" she pointed a shaking and accusing finger at him. "What did you do? Where did you take her?" she started screaming. "SHE WAS FINE AS SHE WAS! GIVE HER BACK!" clearly not thinking straight, she actually launched herself at him, trying to scratch his face with her nails.

"ANDREA SHUT IT!" as Severus turned her launch into a chance just to grab her wrists firmly.

"SIT! AND CALM DOWN!" and he threw her back into the bed, where she first crashed down and then forced herself up again looking both sourly and defiantly at him. Then she did it again, and in sober condition as well. She spat at him, right in his face.

"All right, that's it!" Severus hissed through his teeth as he rose up on his feet and drew his wand.

Andreas eyes widened in shock. "Just let me go! I'm of no use to anyone!" she begged, shocked.

"Clearly." Severus bit back.

"Then get that wand away!" Andrea hissed.

"Believe me, I want to, but this is apparently the only way for you to calm down." He pointed the wand at himself. "_Finite Incantatem_." And felt warmth spreading through his body, putting things back into their right places. It actually felt incredible good, as if he had been carrying eight tons weight on his shoulders and had his nose pressed flat against his face with tape and it finally came off so he could really straighten himself out. "Now will you look at me?" he asked.

"I… I know you!" Andrea looked surprised at him.

"My name is Severus Snape, we met last summer remember?" he asked the confused woman.

"Severus!" she whispered... and then she did the opposite of what Severus had hoped and started spitting at him again. "It's all your fault!" she yelled. "She thinks she's a warrior now! And I went with it because it seemed like a fun game! How could you be telling her to fight? She took it seriously! But I didn't think she would do something so stupid!" and her hands grew limp as she started crying.

"At least I am not the one going on a drinking spree." Severus snorted.

"Don't you dare!" Andrea hissed.

"Oh I dare," Severus lifted an eyebrow looking sourly at her. "Drunken parents are a pitiful sight! I may be a lot of thinks, but at least I'm not that!"

Ashamed, Andrea looked away.

"Have you calmed down?" Severus asked impatiently.

Slowly, Andrea nodded, ears blushing red as she squinted her eyes to keep back the tears.

"Good." Severus conquered a chair to sit down in front of her. "Here," He gave her a vial with potion he had been caring in his inner pocket.

Apprehensive, Andrea eyed the vial. "What is it?"

"It should help you with your hangover." Severus sniffed. "Judging from the state that I found you in."

Again Andrea blushed furiously in shame, but accepted the vial and drank with thirst. After, she visibly calmed down, falling backwards. "Can I have some water please?" she asked in a hoarse voice. She had been so hysterical before that Severus hadn't noticed her thirst. With a shrug, he conjured a glass of water and let her drink it, which she once again did with obvious thirst.

"Now then." He crossed his arms as he sat before her. "Why don't you tell me what happened and what in Merlin's name drove you to such a pitiful state? I can honestly say I thought better of you."

"Turns out how much people think they know." Andrea muttered sourly, then looked back at him. "They took Evelyn." She stated. "The pack of Fenrir Greyback. I tried to fend them off." There were tears in her eyes again. "But I couldn't. Damn it." She whisked the tears away. "Why is it always her who has to act like the brave one? That's my job and I am lousy at it!" she looked at Severus. "The first thing I did was go to the ministry, begging for help, but they said they really couldn't waste time on a half breed." She spat the sentence out. "Said they had more important things to do! I went to my mother but she told me I had finally gotten what was coming to me and I even went to Erick, but he threw me out and said that he would come after me if I tried something." She hammered her fist into the bedpost. "It's not fair! Why do they keep insisting she isn't worth anything? Why does the world not give a damn? I admit I was a shallow teenager when I had her, but she shouldn't pay for that! _I_ should, but not her! It's not fair! I just wanted to get her to safety." she sobbed. "I continued going to the ministry again and again, fought my way into different departments, and it all ended with security warning me away."

"Do you mind if I ask who Erick is?" Severus asked, feeling the guilt and sorrow well up in him as he heard her answer.

"My ex-husband." Andrea bit her lip. "We divorced shortly after Evelyn was bitten."

Severus stared in shock at her.

"Please don't judge him! We were so young when we got married and so young when Evelyn was born," She laughed bitterly. "We were the school's power couple and that made us blind and unprepared. We thought we didn't need anything but pink coloured love clouds."

First now did Severus realise how young the woman really looked, yet her anguish had made her look older last summer. But she couldn't be in more than her late twenties at the most. "And you had nowhere else to go?" he asked.

"I lost contact with all of my old friends from Hogwarts." Andrea confessed. "I did try to find some but couldn't; people are in hiding these days."

"So you are saying you have been living secluded, alone, since Evelyn was bitten?" Severus asked.

Andrea nodded.

Overwhelmed, Severus frowned as he let go of some of his tension. No wonder the woman had hit the bottle. He would never have thought he would have been able to sympathize with any parent who went that way. But suddenly, he felt compassion for the woman who had raised such a wonderful daughter. His thoughts then went to Evelyn. No wonder she had appeared so strong and brave to him last summer; the girl had to be strong both for herself and her mother, and where was she now? Would she turn when she figured the ugly truth? Severus would not want that. Would the werewolves realise it was a child they had taken and kill..? Was she dead now? There were thousands of reasons why she should already be dead and in any case, she should not be with the werewolves. "Do you have any idea where they took her?" he asked at last.

Andrea shook her head as she tried to hold back her tears. "They came to our home, they got to me, and Evelyn ran straight into their arms as she wanted to defend me. Then they just apparated away. Please," Andrea looked at him, "help me."

Severus sighed. "There's not much I can do." He sighed. "But I will do what ever little I can."

Surprised Andrea looked at him, a tear rolling down her chin. "Thank you." She whispered. "You're the first... who..."

"As I said, there's not much I can do." Severus sternly cut her off. "If you haven't figured out by now, my situation isn't too good either. And I can't afford having you tag along."

Andrea bit her lip.

"If you will allow me, I think I know some people you should try and meet, if we are lucky they will even help you. They should be able to sympathise."

"I don't want anyone to sympathise with me!" Andrea crossed her arms. "I just want Evelyn!"

"I can see that." Severus snorted. "But what are you going to do? Try and break into the ministry again so you can spend a week in Azkaban for the trouble? I don't think you are going to find her in there!"

Andrea was just about to retort but then turned silent as her face turned red and she looked down.

"Clean up." Severus sighed. "Bathroom's that way." He pointed at the door to his right. "I don't have any female clothing so you will have to either make due with what you have or take one of my robes, though you will no doubt trip around in them, so let's just hope the people we go to will be willing to help."

"I would like a robe." Andrea was tomato red.

"That trunk." Severus pointed at a trunk in the corner. "I see little reason to ever unpack as I move around quite a lot... so just take one."

"Thanks." She muttered, slowly lifting herself to walk in the direction of the trunk.

Severus sighed. "And don't be alarmed if I look different when you come out, I merely need to disguise myself."

"Are you in trouble?" Andrea turned to look at him. "Why do you need a disguise?"

"That is really none of your concern." Severus snapped. "Suffice to say the less people who have a clue as to my whereabouts, the better, and if you hold either yours or Evelyn's life dear, you will keep quiet about ever having seen me."

"He is after you isn't he?" Andrea asked as she shuddered. "You-know-who…"

"Clean up!" Severus snapped at her. "No use lollygagging around here."

Slowly, Andrea went for the trunk to open it. On top were all Leonard Jones's wider clothes. "Do you have anything other than black?" Andrea asked a little amused. Beneath it, though, were Severus's clothes, which were longer, but also smaller, befitting to a skinny person. Wide-eyed, Andrea eyed something. "You're a Slytherin..." she whispered as she pulled up a green and gray striped scarf.

"So it would seem," Severus shrugged from his sitting position where he had drawn forward a little mirror and was working on his disguise.

"But, back at Hogwarts I... they..." Andrea swallowed. "I just thought..."

"That all Slytherins are narrow-minded purist?" Severus asked. "You think there are more stupid, arrogant people in that house than the others, but it's the ambition that sometimes takes over, especially when they are young. However, if they just have half a brain and a little perspective, there is no reason why Slytherins should be more tempted than other people, there are Death Eaters who have been known to come from other houses, you know."

"Sorry..." Andrea muttered. "I guess it's just… you know, as a Hufflepuff, I just never had the best experiences with ur... Slytherins." She looked up. "But I was just lead to believe that…"

"The Dark Lord favours all Slytherins? It's true, he does, because he really is a narrow minded idiot, and Slytherin happens to be the house most pure-blooded are sorted into, but when you have done the things I have, house and family really no longer matter to him."

Andrea swallowed as she went back to the trunk, at last settling for a forest green robe with bronze linings, the same robe Lily had given to him as a Christmas present, which he hadn't worn since before their break up.

Andrea was finally done washing up a good while before Severus was done with the disguise. It took him around three hours to make the entire disguise properly and was sort of a quick and messy job, as unfortunately, he couldn't brag about being a metamorphmagus. He had to do it the hard way.

"Severus…" Andrea stood nervously in the door way, the robes actually fitting pretty well if it weren't for the fact that they were too long. "This may sound like a stupid question but… how old are you actually?"

"You're right, it is a stupid question." Severus retorted, still working on the nose, which was one of the harder parts.

"Sorry, you just confuse me. Evelyn was always so sure you were an ancient warrior, and I can see why but." she looked confused at him. "You're so young."

"I'm seventeen, if you must know." He snorted. "Any more stupid questions?"

"That young?" Andrea gaped at him, before she swallowed and twisted her hand. "Is it just me or weren't you somewhat nicer last year?"

"It's you." Severus shortly answered.

"You've grown sullen." she muttered, fingering down in her pockets… where she seemingly grabbed something. She retrieved it and looked to see what it was. She saw a little paper note which she opened to read, only to blush furiously in embarrassment. She was just about to put it back before she halted. "How's..." she swallowed. "How's Lily?"

At once Severus dropped his things and looked at Andrea with sharp eyes. "Why would you ask that?" he asked.

"Oh... you… urgh," Andrea held the little piece of parchment closer.

Furiously Severus eyed it. "Give that to me!" he demanded. "That is private!"

Looking down in the floor, still both unsure and embarrassed, Andrea wandered all the way to Severus to hand him the parchment, which he snatched from her.

"She's not hurt or anything, is she?" Andrea asked. "I hope not, she seemed very nice."

Severus tried to collect himself as he put the parchment into the inner pocket of his robe. "She's fine." He at last said. "For now."

This was really embarrassing; it was the Christmas card which had come with the robe he had not wanted to throw away and carried around as a charm… that little letter was probably his most prized possession.

_Dearest Severus_

_I send you all my love now that I unfortunately can't just give it to you, as I should here on Christmas. _

_I'm sad we can't spend it together, but next year Sev, there won't be any excuses. And I'll be sure to place the mistletoe in the hallway where __we__ are bound to stand. _

_Try and imagine that for a bit now, the two of us, under the mistletoe. _

_You felt that? I did! You are a great kisser, __by the way__! I honestly wish you were here, so I could give you a hug and tell you how much I love you. _

_Love Lily. _

A letter caring all of her love, specifically written for him and him alone… It stung as it was placed in the same pocket as a cracked ring and a smashed pair of glasses. "There's some food in the cupboards if you're hungry." He at last stated. "I will be another half hour."

Andrea nodded and silently walked in that direction, looking pretty nervous and distracted.

* * *

A good while after that they both appeared with a loud crack in front of a small hut out in the middle of the woods. Hesitating, Severus knocked on the door.

Slowly it was opened and a man peered out. He was in his mid-forties, had a very lean build, and had brown hair and a moustache, with an all-around a very simple look about him. "Yes?" he asked politely, though a little slowly, and Severus could tell from the posture that he had a wand at the ready just out of sight.

"I am not out to harm you," Severus at last shook his head. "This woman however needs help and support, and I am not the right one to give it to her, but I hoped you would might be." Severus pushed the woman in front of him.

"Why is that?" the man asked suspiciously.

Nervously Andrea looked around, fumbled with her fingers and looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Tell them." Severus suggested.

"Err... It's... it's really not her fault! You must believe me!" she looked at the man. "She is a good kid! The world has never seen a better child, so please."

"I don't know what you mean." The man lifted an eyebrow. "Could you explain a little more?"

"John, honestly!" a woman's voice sounded behind him. "Coming to us of all people, missing a child!" a woman with sandy brown hair opened the door wide open. "Come in, hurry!" she said. "And don't worry, you're with friends. Our son is the best child on earth; it's just people who don't understand."

"You mean..." Andrea looked wide-eyed at her. "Your son is a… a..."

"A werewolf, yes." The woman sighed as she pushed Severus and Andrea inside. "He was bitten as he was five. My name is Sarah Lupin and this is my husband, John Lupin."

As Sarah closed the door, Andrea was gaping at the two people as if they were abnormalities.

"Your poor dear." Sarah sighed as she took Andrea by the arm. "Come on in the living room, I'll get you something to warm you up." And she led the utterly flabbergasted Andrea away.

Exhausted, John shook his head as he put a hand on his forehead. "Not another one…" He sighed, exhausted. And he looked up at Severus. "How do you know about us?" he then asked.

"I know Remus." Severus explained. "I barely know Andrea and found her by coincidence as she was barely conscious because of her drinking. Neither of us has any connections and I hardly find myself in a position to look after her, but if I left her, I fear it would only be a matter of time before she would start drinking again."

"So you are asking if we would take care of her for a while?" John asked with a lifted eyebrow.

"Yes, I am." Severus affirmed. "If Remus's personality is any representation of his parents, it was my best shot."

"How exactly do you know Remus, anyway?" John asked.

"I was his teacher." Severus smoothly lied. "Defence the dark arts, it only lasted a year."

John sighed relieved. "I see," He nodded. "Well, why don't you come in Mr…?"

"Leonard Jones." Severus presented himself. "Thank you."

Quickly John closed the door behind him. "It's safe to assume you made sure to be alone?" John asked.

"Of course," Severus sighed.

"Of course!" A high pitched screeching sound echoed. Warily Severus looked upwards gain sight of a grey parrot sitting on top of a closet with bright scarlet red tail feathers, Severus lifted an eyebrow. "Of course!" The parrot screeched again.

Annoyed John Lupin looked at the parrot. "Keep quiet," he mumbled before turning to Severus. "I'm sorry for the hostility before, but you know."

"One can't be too careful in these times," Severus merely shrugged. "No matter who you are."

"Of course!" The parrot said again.

John Lupin looked like he really hated that parrot and Severus quite frankly did too. "Is that what you get instead of an owl these days?" Severus asked a bit dryly.

"Yes, if only that bird is half as useful as an owl." John muttered.

"Of course!" The parrot sang.

"Don't let it bother you. It only wants attention." John sighed, still exhausted. "So do you want to come in or are you already going on your way?"

"I'd better be on my way as quickly as possible." Severus bowed his head. "All though... if you don't feel the subject too insensitive..." Severus looked over his shoulder to ensure the two women were in an entirely different room and John looked a little more hostile again though also slightly curious. "I promised to do what I can to get Evelyn... Andreas Lyncontrhobia infected her daughter before and Fenrir has her... And I know he must have been trying to contact you over the years, trying to collect Remus. Any information would be useful to me and..." he held back his words as he considered before capturing John Lupin's eyes in a dead serious look. "If you could convince Andrea that you don't know anything, if she asks... deny. She is not fit to go out alone and search for her daughter, but she will if given any reason."

"And you _are_ fit?" John asked with a lifted eyebrow taking Severus's old appearance in.

Severus smirked lightly. "Never judge a book by its cover." He stated grimly.

"Of course!" A high pitched parrot's crow sounded from the ceiling. "Of course!"

"I told you to be quiet!" John almost hissed at the parrot as he annoyed closed his eyes, before returning to Severus. "I don't know much... but I will tell you what I do know."

"Wind in the sails, wind in the sails!" The parrot sang from its sport.

Darkly Severus looked up at the bird. "You mind if I hurt that bird?"

"Personally, I wouldn't mind." John stated annoyed. "But I know a couple of people who would... unfortunately. Come into the kitchen and away from the creature and have a spot a tea, then I'll tell you what I know."

"Of course!" the bird sang to both men's deep annoyance.

* * *

-_ A week after – _

"You're sure this is wise?" Dumbledore asked as he wandered side by side with Severus across Hogsmead on a warm sunny day, Severus as always looking like an old man, not being the man for taking any unnecessary risk. This disguise had just become rather permanent lately. "I mean, keeping up a picture like that is awfully difficult, a number of things can go wrong."

"Trust me, Albus." Severus responded. "I know all about being undercover and you really do need one as good as I inside. Johan will be a brilliant head coming from Australia and just to Umbridge's liking, he'll hate werewolves and most other magical creatures." Severus smiled evilly. "She will love him and won't ever suspect." And then he turned more serious. "I've been all across England now, fought the death eaters you wanted me to fight and won, given you all the information you needed, transported at least fifty muggleborns to the rest of Europe and still, still." Severus hissed. "We haven't gotten to the important part, _no __Horcruxes,__"_ he stated bitterly. "I am doing the dirty work when really I am much more valuable on the inside."

"School is starting tomorrow." Dumbledore softly pointed out. "You can still make it if you wish."

"I thought I had made myself clear." Severus sneered. "There is nothing for me there. I care for one thing and one thing only: seeing the Dark Lord go down."

"Voldemort." Dumbledore pointed out. "His name is Voldemort and I thought you were one of those not afraid of just saying it."

"For a while last year I was living on a cloud." Severus admitted. "Thank god I rose above that and got some sense back."

Dumbledore sighed. "Whatever you say boy, but I have you know I disagree, I liked you much more when you were floating on a so called cloud."

Severus sneered, annoyed at Dumbledore's obvious amusement.

"But oh well, if you must go undercover as Umbridge's right hand man, then you must." Dumbledore shrugged. "All though I have to say, even I am not that brave, and well, I am me, Albus Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard of my own generation."

"You were always so humble." Severus commented sarcastic rolling his eyes.

"Oh thank you, Severus." Albus smiled lightly, bowing his head.

Severus rolled his eyes ones more. "Unfortunately it's too difficult to get close to the Aurors these days." He mumbled. "Something funny is going on in their department, somehow they have become corrupt."

"I already have people in there." Dumbledore informed.

"Frank Longbottom and Alice Weatherfield are merely trainees." Severus sharply returned. "They are not trained for that sort of threat, and beside, if I were you I would be worried about how distracted they are by each other rather than the mission."

"Oh really?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, really!" Severus snapped.

"So it's a safe bet that they will somehow get together?" Dumbledore chuckled, amused. "If you can also remember which Quidditch team wins the tournament this year, it would be most gratifying." He smiled as Severus was trying to hold back his grumble. "And by the way, there is an Order member who already knows what you're up to, so she'll be the one to mostly keep an eye on you."

"Oh yeah who?" Severus asked. "And how did she figure? She's not one of those possessing an invisibility cloak who followed me is she?" he asked dryly.

"I'm sure you'll like her, very charming and colourful personality." Dumbledore smiled. "Consider her your partner and the one to look out for you. The way she'll be under cover quite obvious. Ah, there she is!" Albus looked upwards towards something flying towards them.

Severus paled at the sight, which truly enough, came flying downwards. "Please don't be serious." He almost pleaded.

Dumbledore shrugged. "You are working for me, and thus are my responsibility. I know you should be quite powerful, but I still don't know how much, so I like people to look after each other." he told shortly. "And in my humble eyes, you still have such a young appearance, dear Severus."


	44. the terror of war

James and Sirius really had to fight to keep Lily away.

"He's right out there!" Lily exclaimed. "JAMES, YOU SOD!" she yelled angrily. "Why didn't you drag him with you?"

"Lily, what would you have wanted me to do?" James asked, pulling her away by her arm. "Hit him on the head with the chandelier?"

"YES!" Lily screamed back.

"Prongs, how on earth did you ever have the hots for this girl?" Sirius asked as he pulled Lily's waist.

"I don't know mate, I don't know…" James responded honestly. "All though that fiery temper _is_ quite a turn on," he smirked.

"You disgust me, James!" Lily returned sourly.

"And there's the Lily I know and some-what love!" James shook his head. "But seriously, calm down!"

"No way!" Lily fumed. "No way in hell! Sev is on the other side of this damned door and I don't care whether I am captured or threatened, as long as he comes out and god damn faces me! He will! He will face me! YOU HEAR THAT SEV!" Lily yelled. "FACE ME, SEV! FACE ME, YOU SLIMY LITTLE GIT!"

"And that is the man she claims that she love above all else," Sirius pointed out with a raised eyebrow. "I'd hate to be among those she hates."

"Pads," James looked at Sirius, "you _were _among the people she hated the most for almost six years."

"I knew there was a reason I have such bad memories of my school years." Sirius replied. "It could have been because of my looks or great personality… Well at least she hated you more than me."

"Oh, she's about to hate me even more," James grunted and forced Lily away from the door.

"Lily!" he shouted. "They are going to capture us this way!" he stated grimly. "Keep quiet, all right? Now listen to me." He kept both of her hands down. "I hate to say it, but I am with Snape on this one! The man knows what he is doing and we're in his way… _again_. I might add that he has a bigger chance of getting Evelyn and make it out safely _because__ he _has_ a plan! _If you love him, you are going to have to let him do his business!"

"Don't you understand?" Lily asked exasperatedly. "He's just destroying himself! He can be happy, he can be stronger than this, but he denies it! I just want to slap him and make him realise it! That's all!"

"I can't say I know him that well…" James said. "…But I do know that if you get hurt, he _will_ be destroyed… and I at least owe it to him to not to let that happen."

"What do you owe him?" Lily asked as her eyes welled up.

"_Your life_." James said back, now really becoming annoyed. "My own life too! Can't you understand that?"

Lily hesitated and then stopped, biting back her tears in dead silence. "Why do all the people I know keep on insisting that my life is more precious than theirs ?" she asked bitterly. "It's not true, you know." She looked at James. "Every time people look at me now, they expect me to be this sort of great messiah, but then they treat me like a little glass statue and they're afraid I'll get hurt. I'm not a messiah, though, and I'm not a porcelain doll. I'm not anything special, but I try hard to prove myself and how can I do that, how can I help, when no one will let me?"

"Look Lily." James started in a slight hesitation. "It's not that…" Defeated, he shook his head. "I adore you for being you, I hope you know that. I wouldn't want you to lose that passion for anything in the world. But Lily," hopelessly, James looked at her, "I don't want to loose you, not any of you. I wish you could see that and stop saying that you don't care if you get hurt. Maybe you really don't, but I do."

"James…" sighed Lily as she looked at him. "I hate sitting around doing nothing. I hate being left out. I just want to help and I really am doing the best that I can with what I've got. But it isn't much and it doesn't help when no one will let me."

James sighed. "I know you are doing the very best you can every second of the day, but Lily," he reached out a hand and lightly touched her shoulder and looked her in the eyes. "Your best is not helping right now. Me, I just don't want anyone to die from this."

Lily looked astounded at him, meeting his honest brown eyes that looked sadly at her and trying to keep back her bitter tears. At last, abashed, she looked down. "James, I—" she hesitated. "I want so badly to do something." She finished, only for Sirius to cut in.

"Er... Prongs." Sirius hesitated.

"What is it, Pads?" James asked, a bit annoyed and even more tired.

"It's quiet downstairs." Sirius made them aware. "You think they went away?"

James silenced. "Or... how loudly did Lily yell?" he asked.

"You mean when she wasn't beating us up?" Sirius asked. "Er..." he didn't get any further as suddenly, the handle turned.

"Sev?" Lily asked hopefully, but of course, she wasn't nearly that lucky. The handle turned and on the other side stood…

A short, fat lady, completely dressed in pink, with a face toad like and shining and eyes tiny and churning with anger, opened her mouth and out of it came a horrible high pinched sound. "Ooooh!" She sang a note Lily could swear was able to shatter glass. "What have we here, three young guests? Aren't you supposed to be in school?" she asked unpleasantly as several people appeared behind her.

"Er…" The three teenagers looked at each other.

"We're just on vacation." James tried.

"Really?" Umbridge asked.

"Oh yes." Sirius nodded. "Just a bit of time to clear the head, get ready for the N.E.W.T.s and stuff. Poor Miss Evans here," he grabbed Lily's shoulder, "almost had a break down so we had to get her out." He shook his head. "Tsk, tsk, even the school nurse agrees; she almost booted her out to get her to go."

"Miss Evans, you say?" Umbridge asked.

"Nice going," Lily muttered bitterly.

"Whoops." Sirius responded as he swallowed.

"Although I seem to recognise that face as well." Dolores commented, stepping closer and looking up at Sirius. The top of her head only reached his chest despite Sirius's relatively young age, but she still managed to look intimidating. "A fine blood isn't it? Ooh, you must be either Sirius or Regulus Black!"

"Er, yeah, I'm Regulus!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I thought we liked your brother now." James commented with a raised brow.

"Oh shoot, that's right!" Sirius realised. "You know, it's just because he keeps his distance so much that it's hard to remember. I mean he still doesn't want to talk to me! He only sneers and grouches at me all the time. _Me_, the most charming and likeable man in the universe! Can you believe it?"

"Oh you'd be surprised." James returned in a smirk.

"So all right, I'm the serious one, Sirius." Sirius shrugged.

"So that must be Potter." Umbridge looked at James. "The one Walburger is so disgusted with, the one who corrupted the poor Black brothers. Wait until I report this."

"Oh, this is just swell!" James groaned. "We are so going to be expelled now!"

"And that's a bad thing?" Sirius asked.

"You know, you're right; we are so brilliant we can make it without NEWTS!" James exclaimed.

Lily groaned, annoyed. "You know, I remember why I hated you now," she looked sourly at the two. "Did Moony take your better behaviour with him when he left?" She asked, carful to censor Remus' real name.

James shrugged as if it were a minor matter.

"Regardless," Umbridge smiled, "I think you better come with us. Now I'm afraid it's rather late and tomorrow is sure to be a busy day, so we'll just place you somewhere you won't be trouble until we can get you back to Hogwarts."

Lily halted. "Why don't you just send us back to Hogwarts now?" she asked. "I mean, there must be fireplaces in here."

Umbridgess squinted at them. "And why are you asking so many questions?" she drawled rhetorically, her high-pitched voice dropping an octave or two. "Men!" In a snap, her voice was back up. "Please take these dear children somewhere they won't disturb us! But remember to treat them nicely; I'm sure Crouch would want them unharmed for interrogation..."

"You know, I was wrong." Sirius commented as they were taken down a floor. "We don't just suck at this, we _really _suck at this."

"This is embarrassing!" James groaned as he covered his face. They were pushed into what was quite frankly a very nice room almost identical to the one they had come from. "For crying out loud! We are the _Marauders!" _He exclaimed annoyed at the door that was closed behind them. It lit up, indicating they were magically locked inside.

"And I don't think we can count on Severus coming to the rescue." Sirius snorted. "No offence, Lily."

"None taken." Lily responded very darkly sitting in the corner looking angry out in the room. "Because you are bloody right." She almost sneered. "This game is over. The ministry will just send us straight back to Hogwarts."

James nodded sitting in a chair hunched over. "Unless they finally have an excuse to us lock up, not to mention that we are so bloody going to be expelled for this at the very least… Well, at least no one got hurt." He muttered scratching his ear.

* * *

They sat in silence for a while before the door opened and a young, exotic looking woman came in with a tray of food and their backpack on her back. "Excuse me, kiddos," she approached them, speaking with a clear Cuban accent. "I thought you might have gotten hungry. I'm sorry, but you will have to stay here till Monday."

"Why?" James asked. "Wouldn't it be more convenient to send us straight back? I mean this place has fireplaces, does it not?"

"It should." Sirius added.

"Umbridge's request. She's the lead in this operation and not even the people with her know entirely what it's about just yet, so it's really no use asking." The woman shrugged as she put down the tray and pushed back her dark hair before dumping the backpack into James' lap. "Don't worry, no one has touched the contents in that bag." She flashed a grin at James. "And here are yummy tea and sandwiches with chicken and tomatoes!" she smiled at them before continuing. "To attempt an escape would be ill advised." She warned although she sent a pleasant smile at the same time.

"She's out to kill werewolves." James stated darkly. "That's why she is holding us here. It's so we won't spill until she's already done it." He told the others about his realisation. "How can she do that?"

The Cuban woman blinked. "No, I mean... I don't know. I'm just an assistant, don't ask me these questions!"

"That's horrible!" Lily exclaimed. "How can anyone let this happen?" she asked.

The woman bowed down starting to whisper frantically. "Look, kids, we are at war and technically the ministry is still on the people's side. Those werewolves are clearly on the Dark Lord's - they can and _will _fight for him with this new enchantment enabling them to transform on demand. Thousands of people will to die from this! Do you know how dangerous a transformed werewolf is? Not even magic works on them and all those thousand people who are waiting to be bitten will just make army grow! And most of those people only mere children… I'm not just talking about the future here, either. It has all ready started. You should see the bundle of yellow eyed kids they drag around like Fenrir's own little family."

"But killing them?" Lily asked horrified. "There must be a better way!"

"I'm an assistant, Miss Evans! I don't know what you want me to do!" The Cuban lady responded. "I just make tea and sandwiches."

"That's a lame excuse!" Lily spat back. "It's _wrong_, plain and simple."

The Cuban woman shook her head. "Madre, what a bundle of children we have here: young, young, young."

"And you're the one to speak." Sirius snorted. "Hell, I doubt you're just an assistant"

The Cuban woman sighed. "Get something to eat." She smiled sadly to the group. Annoyance radiated from Lily, who glared at the woman. It was ineffective, though, as the woman had closed the door already.

"How futile was that?" Sirius snorted. "Did you hear her? Calling us kids, please!"

"She's right, you know." James sighed. "I mean, whom do we fight for?" he asked. "The werewolves? The ministry? Both? Neither? We're kind of caught in the middle here." He mumbled, reaching for a sandwich.

"We fight for what's right, it's that simple." Lily snorted annoyed. "And I don't care what it takes."

"Oh grow up, Lily." James responded.

"What did you just say to me?" Lily demanded.

"Er..." James halted, now realising what he had said. "Nothing!" he took a big bite out of his sandwich, effectively preventing any further talk. Lily looked angrily at him. James diverted his attention from her and looked at the tray. He had to swallow and put down the sandwich as he reached down, stunned, and picked up what looked like a slender, brown, and wooden stick.

Sirius and Lily looked curiously at it as well. "Is that…" Lily asked, "A wand? Where did that come from?"

"It was on the tray!" James exclaimed. "That Cuban lady must have left it there!" He made a short swing with it, but suddenly red and blue spark flew out of it, burning completely out of control as they hit Sirius robe and burned a hole in them. "HEY!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Sorry, mate!" James responded a little shell-shocked. "I didn't mean for that to happen. It was just supposed to be a single small spark."

"Oh, give me that!" Lily snatched the wand away and made a swing, only for it to make a pathetic little cough of smoke. Annoyed, Lily swung it again, only to showcase another even dimmer cough. Lily frowned. "Did she leave us a broken wand?"

Thoughtfully Sirius took over the wand and swung, popping a wittered plant out of the wand. "No, I don't think so." He said. "It just doesn't belong to any of us. So it won't work that well with any of us."

"Well, at least it's better than nothing, in case something happens." James responded, laying it back on the tray.

* * *

Severus was in a dark place as he pondered, sitting by himself in an old dusty library of the castle. Typical, absolutely typical for the kids to show up when trouble would soon arise. He should have known, he really should have. Lily was her son all over again.

Or, more technically, her son was her. When there was trouble, they'd insist on taking up the task personally, exclude the adults, and then rush in without a plan because somebody _might _be in danger.

Well at least they would be sent back to the school now. Severus would have preferred if they had taken the portkey so they could have avoided trouble, but the important thing was they go back to the school and Dumbledore wouldn't expel them as that would just mean sending them out in another battle.

"Johan." The Cuban woman entered, stepping through the dust. Judging from the looks the woman often received from men, Severus would have to conclude she was attractive, always wearing very colourful clothes far from the British fashion. Now, she wore a long, scarlet red skirt and a green top, two large, round, golden earrings hanging from her ears as her hair fell freely down her shoulder. She was very exotic and beautiful, but in Severus's mind, useless. He didn't need help and he didn't want help; Dumbledore was the one who kept insisting.

"What, Lola?" Severus responded rather annoyed.

"Don't you think, perhaps," Lola hesitated, "It's time to call in the order?"

"And what exactly would just think adding an extra couple of witches and wizards could add?" he asked darkly. "What would they do? Fight the ministry? Fight the werewolves? This is not a black and white battle and it's not our battle. Let them destroy each other for us and let us keep a straight head."

"But neither are bad guys!" Lola exclaimed. "The ministry workers just follow orders to keep ordinary wizards safe and the werewolves just want to be left alone, not hunted down."

Severus only needed to send her a look, one dark look, telling that he very well knew that. "How do you think the Dark Lord collects his armies?" he asked, feigning a smile. "How can one single man become such a threat?"

"The more I learn about this, the less I like it." Lola wrapped her arms around herself as if it would protect her from the cruel, cruel world. "It's nothing like what I would have imagined as a child. You-know-who is the only evil person at all isn't he? He just understands how to turn people's fears and weaknesses against them... please, can't we do something? Anything?"

Severus still looked ever so sadly at the young protégé. "That's the thing about war, the tale of war heroes are lies. People who do the real work and set the differences are all compromised, dark, and stained. Things are not as straightforward as you might think – they're complicated. That is how war works."

"But Mr. Grumpy, I want to do something!" Lola exclaimed, spreading out her arms. "Because I feel rather useless and stuck right now! And this is horrible!"

"That is war." Severus shrugged. "If you feel locked in, take a flight and leave me alone, birdie."

"Very funny." Lola snorted, sitting down on a chair as she leaned her chin on her hand. "Dumbledore has the worst sense of humour ever to lock me up with an old coot like you." She rolled her eyes.

"You have no idea." Severus responded darkly. "And remember—"

"I know, I know, don't _do _anything. Especially when a massacre happens in front of you, because then it's to late and you can't safe them, only get yourself killed as well." She shook her head. "War is won from being on the inside and picking the right fights so pick each of your fights oh so carefully, attacking someone who doesn't expect it and isn't able to tell who the traitor was, blah, blah, blah, I remember." She stood up starting pacing in circles around the room. "It's such a stupid way to fight a war!" she raised her arms up in frustration.

"It's the only way if you want to win, or just survive for more than five minutes," Severus sneered. "So tell me, was there anything of real importance you wanted to share? If not, please leave so Umbridge doesn't gain reason to suspect that we are working together against her."

"Well there is one thing." Lola mussed. "The children upstairs, why are they so important to you? I've been working with you for months now, and your reaction at the mention of Lily Evans was the most emotion I ever seen from you. What is she, your granddaughter or something like that?"

"That is none of your business." Severus told shortly. "I don't keep on nagging you about your personal life and history, so please refrain from nagging me about mine."

"But as partners we should know stuff like that!" Lola exclaimed. "If something ever happened, it could become vital! Besides, I need something to occupy my head! I'm dying from nerves here!"

Urgh, leaving that annoying woman behind would be the grandest thing Severus could imagine at current time. No, he did not like the partner Dumbledore had dumped on him; she was way too colourful, way too bright, way too young, and way too impatient. Except for the fact that the young woman worked in the ministry and had several contacts there, Severus had no idea what she did in the order. According to fait she would have died in his previous lifetime even before Potter and company joined and Severus couldn't say he was that surprised.

* * *

Sourly Lily had to witness the moon rising again. "SHOOT!" she hissed, grabbing the window frame as she looked out and spotted the half moon rise above them. "This stinks!" she exclaimed.

"Tell me about it." Sirius responded, almost bored from his position on the floor where he had drawn up a game of tic-tac-toe with a quill they had found in one of the drawers. James casually drew a circle, only for Sirius to draw and x and then a line, ending that current game. Neither boy reacted to it though. James merely let out a deep sigh and swung their shared wand to clear the drawing for maybe time number one hundred.

"Stinks, stinks, stinks, stinks." Lily ranted, looking down and then sighing and leaning forward until she lifted an eyebrow. "Hold on."

"What is it?" James asked in a tired, dull voice.

"There's someone down there." Lily squinted her eyes.

James shrugged returning to his game, making an X on the board before handing the quill back to Sirius.

"There's more down there." Lily suddenly hesitated. "There's... They're coming from the forest, there must be a hundred of them!"

That caught Sirius' and James' attention.

"The werewolves!" Lily exclaimed. "The werewolves are coming towards the castle!"

"_WHAT_!" Both Sirius and James exclaimed, both scrambling to their legs.

"_Look_!" Lily pointed down, where true enough, there was a whole pack of Werewolves emerging from the forest like ants. And they were walking towards the castle. "Oh no." Lily swallowed. "The kids too?" she asked and saw a little group of kids, six or seven of them, standing in front, almost like a shield. It was obvious who was Evelyn as she walked with a straight back and gritted teeth, holding two other kids' hands as her eyes shined so bright a yellow that Lily could see all the way up from her window.

"Lily, I'm sorry. But of course the kids too." James sighed, resting a hand on Lily's shoulder. "Otherwise, what is the point for Fenrir to keep them around?"

"UMBRIDGE!" the man in front suddenly yelled so his voice echoed over the entire ground. "So you came after us have you?" Fenrir Greyback asked in his growling voice. "Trying to exterminate us, you say? But here's the trouble," Fenrir grinned, "We are beasts, we bite!" he sneered in a low voice. "No one threatens the pack of Fenrir Greyback like that. This is the biggest, strongest, most loyal, pure werewolf pack in history!"

"This… can't be good." Sirius swallowed.

"No shit, Sherlock." Lily said in a thick, sarcastic voice.

"Hey! I am just observing!" Sirius exclaimed, when suddenly their attention was demanded to what happened beneath them, where several wands were drawn at the same time to send a silvery shining light into the sky. A huge, round globe was starting to form, almost looking like a mini planet of some sort.

"Oh god." Lily looked wide-eyed at it.

"And I bet _none_ of those people had their wolfsbane potion!" Sirius exclaimed.

As the hundred of people all started twisting and turning, growing in size, their fangs grew and their hands turned into paws. And even then it didn't take long for them to ram into the front gate, multiple wolves at a time, so splinters were flying and the gate was giving in.

"Whatdowedo-whatdowedo?" Sirius garbled, panicked.

"Barricade the door!" Lily exclaimed, already heading for the bed and pushing. It didn't help much, as the bed was far too big and heavy for her to handle alone.

"Yeah, we could try, but a transformed werewolf can smell humans miles away, magic locks don't work on them because they are magic repellent, and even if we barricade the door with all we've got, a number of werewolves will tear it all down within seconds!" "James exclaimed.

"So you have any better ideas, Mr. Smarty pants?" Lily asked still pushing the bed without much luck.

"Er..." James halted. "Let's barricade the door!"

Immediately, the three got to work and pushed the bed in front, afterwards going for the wardrobe as well and pushing it in front.

"Well, it could have been worse!" Sirius grunted as they pushed the bedside table and loud sounds and screams were sounded from inside of the castle.

"_HOW?" _Both James and Lily asked as the table was finally in place.

"Moony could have been here!" Sirius stated in a big grin.

"OH GOD!" Lily exclaimed slamming her hand against her forehead as for a brief second, that horrible scenario flashed before her eyes. "James, whatever I ever said to you about being dim and stupid, I take it back!"

"Well then, I'll make sure to let that statement come back to haunt you." James smirked until there sounded a big crash on the other side of the door washed the smile off his face. "That is if we survive the night!" he leaped towards the tea tray and grabbed the wand which he returned to Lily with and stuffed it in her hands as well as their backpack. "Take them!" he demanded. "Use the cloak, use the wand!"

"What will the cloak help? And what about you with the wand?" Lily asked.

"That cloak is not an ordinary invisibility cloak, ordinary invisibility cloaks just make you… so you can't be seen, per say, but this thing," James touched it, "It really hides you from the world. Dogs don't even smell you. It's been in my family for for generations - ordinary invisibility cloaks doesn't last that long. You can walk through a battlefield as long as you wear this, and no one would notice." James wrapped the cloak around Lily. "My mom used to tell me it's the only thing in the world which can hide a person from Mr. Death himself, the one man who normally finds everybody in the end."

"What about you?" Lily asked.

"We are animagi." James told seriously. "When we turn into animals, we really do turn into animals, and even if we get bitten." He glanced at Sirius. "We won't be affected as long as we are animals. Werewolves lust for human flesh way more than animal flesh, so they would only go after us if there are no humans available."

"It's still dangerous." Lily swallowed.

"It's the best way I can think of." James told, holding Lily by the shoulders. "If you promise to do what you can to get out safely, I promise to do the same."

Lily took a deep breath and then at last nodded. "Okay then." She bit her lip and leaned forward, giving James a tight hug. "I'm sorry getting you into such a sore mess! I didn't mean to. I should have come alone!"

"I know, but I wouldn't have let you, so I'm glad you came to us." James responded, returning the hug. "I didn't want you to go out like this alone."

"You really are a nice guy James, a very good guy. Brave, honest," Lily looked at him as she smiled vaguely, "Sweet." She whispered holding him close. "I'm so glad you're here with me."

"And you are a very nice, spirited, and courageous lady." James responded as more crashes sounded outside the door. He held her tightly.

Sirius embraced both James and Lily as he wrapped his strong arms around both of them. "Well, I say we are all good people and well, if I am going to die today, I can't imagine finer people to stand with me - well, Moony perhaps, but I am so happy he's not here right now!"

Lily shook her head. "You are very sweet." She told Sirius. "Thank you for sticking with us and trying to help." She kissed Sirius on the cheek.

"Hey." Sirius smiled back at them blushing lightly as he rubbed his cheek, embarrassed. "I just want to help."

And finally as another crash sounded and the door was giving in. The moment was over and the three friends let go. "We have to be quick, just try to run." James swallowed. "As fast as you have ever run before and then even faster."

Lily nodded and vanished completely under the invisibility cloak.

Then Sirius and James to transformed into animals and stood ready.

Lily swallowed, raising the unfamiliar wand in her hand. It really didn't feel at all good there. Her own wand usually felt assuring and comfortable and right now, she honestly missed it so much.

With a big crash, the wolves were though, claws scratching through the surfaces and their growls sounding louder as more and rubbish was pushed out of the way.

Lily was really trying to calculate the best move as Severus had taught her, but it was so hard… okay, stunners would not work... something, something... explosions! If she made explosions in front of the werewolves, that would work! "CONFRINGO!" Lily roared, aiming at the door the werewolves tried to squeeze through. The thing exploded and sent the wolves in all directions.

Then the huge massive stag ran through, forcing the wolves to separate for a second, which was Sirius' and Lily's cue to run as well.

Lily wasn't as lucky as a fling of the cloak got it caught on the torn wood and she almost choked as the she fell backwards, the cloak falling away from her face in the process. Suddenly, she was face to face with several werewolves and the only thing she could do was to scream, terrified as the beasts lucked hungry at her.

"_Sectumsempra__!" _a werewolf was flung away, a big deep gash bleeding heavily as the beast gasped for air.

Lily, however, did not get the time to see that as a strong hand grabbed her arm and forced her up on her legs and another strong hand covered her eyes, leaving her blind. She barely managed to realise that the invisibility cloak was thrown back on both her and her saviour, who stood close behind her back. "What?"

"Sssh." A familiar, but unfamiliar voice hissed. "Quiet, supposedly this thing covers our scent, but not sounds."

"Sev?" Lily asked in a frightened voice. "Sev, why do you—"

"Shh." Severus hissed again.

"Let me see! Why did you cover my eyes?"

Severus didn't respond. He just kept holding her eyes and, Lily supposed, kept the cloak in place over them.

She could hear the growls and other sounds right in front of her: the wolves pacing around, snarls from wizard and werewolf alike, and screams as people were overtaken. Lily leaned back into Severus's chest, as far as she could, ready to cry of fright as she swore she heard the wolves breathing. She so burningly wished she could see. Why did Sev insist on holding his hand so firmly over her eyes?

It felt like forever and the noises were terrible, but at last... at last the wolves right in front of them moved on, but as soon as they did, Severus did as well, dragging Lily with him. "Hey!" Lily exclaimed. "Where are we going?" Severus didn't even reply.

"Sev! I'm tripping around here, let me see!" she demanded as sounds came from both from left and right. "Let me see! I'm starting to get scared here!" she reached up a hand and tried to pry his away from her eyes.

"You've already been way to much trouble now! Just do as I say! Even if it's not your forte!" Severus sneered.

"Let me see!" Lily actually used her nails to try and get Severus's hand away. "For Merlin's sake, I can't see a thing!"

"Good!" Severus responded.

"You don't want me to see." Lily asked. "Why is that?"

Again Severus didn't respond.

And Lily did the only thing she could think of, she stepped as hard as she could on Severus' foot, then immediately sank her nails into his hand, forcing him to gasp from pain and remove it, leaving the sight clear for Lily, which made her stop. Everywhere… everywhere around her there was fighting, ministry people shooting hex's at the werewolves, covering gashes, bite marks and claw marks, the werewolves being hurt as well, many of them laying on the floor whimpering, blood pouring out of them.

A big, brown, furry wolf sank its teethes into a brown haired Ministry worker, and an Indian looking Ministry man shot a _confringus_ at a sandy brown werewolf, sending the wolf sailing across the room, not far away from Lily, and laid on a smaller seized wolf, one of the pups, bleeding heavily, gasping for air, and then suddenly spat out more blood as it pathetically whimpered. Suddenly Lily's eyes were covered once more by Severus' hand... but it was too late, she had all ready seen it, and Lily already knew that what she had just seen in these few seconds would be burned into her mind forever and haunt her nightmares till the day she died. It was done and could never be undone, not even with obliviation; the sight had been that terrible.

"Why Lily?" Severus asked. "Why did you have to do that?"

Lily couldn't answer because she felt so sick to her stomach and she felt like crying. She was a frightened, pathetic bundle as she curled up against Severus, as he dragged her away, probably trying to get her out of the battle zone and at last the things become more distant and muffled as a door closed. Severus mumbled an incantation at the door, threw away the cloak and removed his hand, losing his temper. "_WHY_?" he yelled.

Lily spun around on her heels to face him, trying to fight back her own tears, but was met with furiously black eyes and a face equally twisted in absolute fury as his raven black hair fell into his eyes. He had grown in these past six months and looked more like the adult version that Lily had gained a short glimpse of, particularly his voice... his voice had finally found that dangerous, sneering tone.

There had been glimpses of it previously, but not like this, and Lily wanted to cry like a little girl because she felt so small and helpless. She wanted Sev to embrace her now, to tug her in and whisper words of assurance, but instead of anything like that, she was only met by eyes burning with anger. She needed him so badly to be kind now, but his anger turned Lily's fright something else as well. Now she was annoyed, annoyed at him. If anything, his attempts on lecturing her ticked her off. She was cold, desperate, and terrified and she couldn't handle it anymore. There was no holding back any longer. "'Why' what?" She returned in a sneer matching up to Severus' pretty well, before she started shouting. "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?" Lily yelled straight back into his face, trying to hide her tears. "You left! So you can't say what I can or can't do!"

"_Stay out of trouble!" _Severus hissed. "Why is that so hard to understand?" he asked in a furious voice.

"So that's it?" Lily asked gesturing at the door. "This is what you face, without accepting help, without nothing!" she asked madly. "Compromising your _life! _For what? What are you _thinking_?_" _

"That is of no concern of yours!" Severus snapped.

"Then what I do is no concern of yours either!" Lily yelled back.

"Now you listen to me, Lily Evans." Snape towered over her, cornering her against the wall. "You stay out of this! Stay out of the way; you do _not_ belong here so be a nice kid and stay home where you _do _belong."

Kid? Lily gritted her teeth, her fist tightening as her anger built up. "Or what?" Lily asked. "You're going to hex me? Hurt me? Oh, please! That would never happen in a million years." She stated grimly. "But Sev, _why?_" she asked. "I don't understand why..." She looked up at him. "Why do you need to do this? And even if you do need to fight… which I understand… why like this? There are other ways, Sev. Come back..." she asked pleadingly at him.

"No." Severus responded sourly. "Stay out of this!"

"No way!" Lily responded back sourly. "I found you at last, and I am not going to let go! Or _step aside_."

"Step aside." Severus grunted. "The infernal woman who refused to step aside," he murmured as if that sentence had a very special meaning. "Learn to step aside when asked, Lily Evans!" he demanded. "It's a heck of a lot healthier for you."

Lily, however, continued. "Please, Sev! If you really need to do this so badly, take me with you!"

Horrified, Severus's eyes widened and for a split second he looked genuinely terrified.

"Sev, I _love _you!" Lily told him. "And I promised to always look out for you, remember? I am going to keep that promise! I swear! I'll keep on fighting, I'll keep on looking out for you! Don't you understand? That's what I _want!" _

"Don't you understand?" Severus hissed. "I am not that boy, I am not worthy of that! That, out there, is what happens all the time! It's war! It stains the soul of human beings! I don't want you to succumb to that!"

"That is my choice." Lily responded surely.

"You're a _child! _So ridiculous, naive, and young!" Severus replied back in a bitter voice. "You don't know anything, don't tell yourself you do, little missy! Learn to understand that you can't handle this! There are others are more suited! THINK! It's the trouble with you! You're always in the moment, never objective! And _don't_ look out for me! My soul is not only stained, it's pitch black, ripped, and filthy! I am a _murderer, _a traitor, a liar, a spy—"

"And a good man." Lily assured.

"NO! That's the wrong point! You don't get it, do you? You have no idea what I am!" Severus hissed. "And if something happens to you, _my soul_ is the thing paying!"

"What is all this about souls all of a sudden?" Lily asked. "All that I know is that you shouldn't do this at all, and certainly not alone." Lily stated with crossed arms. "And I know that I am bloody well, never, ever going to bloody _leave!" _

Severus's shadow seemed to grow an extra couple of inches as he narrowed his eyes. "Fine." He drawled in a dangerous voice. "If the little miss is so keen to have her eyes opened, _lets_ _have her eyes opened!" _he drawled pulling his wand and putting it against his forehead. He drew it back, pulling out a long silver string of memories and put them down in a little glass vial in his hand. Taking two steps, he loomed over Lily once more and stuffed the shining glass vial into her hand, closing her hand around it and forcing her to close her hand around it by holding her hand so tightly that it almost hurt.

"If you think a gesture like this can change anything, _you're wrong_!" Lily hissed.

"Oh, am I?" Severus asked. "I know you Lily, better than you think. You are incapable of staying away from trouble, from anything you have been lead to believe will help you, and your conviction of right and wrong is so strong and sometimes misplaced. However, all I need is to place it right, I know you... I know all about you Lily Evans. Now, I am trying to do this one more time." He reached for a little cup standing on the table, which he flicked his wand at and then stuffed it into Lily's pocket. "That thing is, of course, an illegal portkey."

"If you think that I am—" Lily started only to be stopped as Severus shushed her, actually placing a finger on her lips and forcing her to be quiet. As if it were hypnosis, she kept quiet and looked stunned at Severus.

"It activates in a couple of hours and should leave you time enough to find our two marauder… comrades I suppose. The trouble with that new charm the werewolves came up with is that it's no good for them, no good at all, when it wears off in… I think very soon indeed; it doesn't last more than half an hour at most. Then they are weak, ill, drained of magic, and unable to fight. Now, as you are not a complete idiot, though you are doing a good job of trying to prove me wrong, you should be able to get out unnoticed with the invisibility cloak. Until then, though, I can't have you running around."

And suddenly Lily realised she had been body-binded by Severus and was completely unable to move.

Severus bowed down and picked up the invisibility cloak to throw it over Lily. "And don't bother to search for me in this area; I'll be long gone by the time that body bind wears off. I don't want to be around for the clean up of this mess." He walked towards the door and opened it slightly, peering outside. "Ah." He nodded. "It already has worn off. It's really an amateur spell, this fake moon, if you ask me. The disadvantages far outweigh the advantages." And his eyes squinted as he seemingly eyed something out there. His head turned, for a moment looking at where the place Lily stood, bound and invisible, before he slipped through the door.

Lily shut her eyes, trying to hold back the bitter tears. She was left there, utterly humiliated and useless.

Severus, however, easily fell into a part as soon as he stepped out in the room. There had been a reason he had ditched the Johan disguise: if he fought ministry people or did weird things as Johan, his cover would be blown.

Right now, the curse was indeed taken off and several of the werewolves were still in the middle of transforming back, but that also left them defenceless and weak. Greyback had probably counted on either biting or killing every single Ministry person before the enchantment wore off.

"Young man!" an elderly woman with gray hair suddenly called him over. "Don't just stand there, help us with the wounded!"

"Yes, mam." Severus nodded, playing his part well.

Lola was walking around looking horrified at all the corpses. Briefly, she glanced over Severus and moved on, not recognising him one bit.

Calculating with a cold demeanour, Severus looked at every single person on the floor, glancing at each one with his keen sharp eyes before he moved on, but didn't find what he was searching for.

Then, without a word, he went up the stairs, through the torn in doors, and into the rooms.

Then he finally found something that seemed interesting to him inside a room to his left. There laid none other than Fenrir Greyback, on the floor with a big satisfied grin on his blood dripping face. Only it was not his blood that was dripping, but rather his victim's.

Severus raised and eyebrow as his black eyes moved to what looked like a big pink and purple blob lying on the floor as the pink terror tried to cover the wound in its neck.

Severus stepped inside and he almost curiously bowed down and met Dolores Umbridge's small eyes. "Sna-snape," Umbridge squealed. She was almost green, and sweaty at that.

Severus' head was askew as he looked at Umbridge. "Intriguing," was his only word.

"He-help me!" Dolores begged.

"You'll live." Severus shrugged. "That bite is not vital, on purpose I should think, but the poison is a werewolf's poison."

Umbridge's eyes widened in horror, "No." she whispered. "No, it can't be! I can't be a… a..."

"I wonder how it feels." Severus mumbled, tracing Umbridge's wound with his finger. "Changing like that, inside and out, into another species... can you feel it inside? How you stop being human and start being werewolf? Does it spread and push the other part out?" he asked, sounding rather curious. "Perhaps it burns, like when you are poisoned by a dragon, and you feel the poisons travel through the vain, centimetre by centimetre." He traced his finger from the wound down Dolores' arm. "Do you know it the second you are cursed, or do you realise it little by little?" he asked as if it were of mild interest and a mild topic of conversation.

"No, you don't understand!" Umbridge cried. "I can't be a… a..."

"Hm." Severus smirked. "You can't even say it, can you? Is that denial..? Of course it is, but you see, that's the thing." He whispered in an incredibly soft voice. "Anyone can become it, anyone at all. The king and queen of this country, your gardener, the old lady who bakes cookies, your father, your mother, that little kid who won a prize for best drawing at the kindergarten, the Dark Lord, your old professor in history... Even I could become it... Because all it ever takes, the only thing at all." He looked at Umbridge with his cold eyes as he spoke the harsh words in his soft voice. "Is one single bite."

"_No!_ You're a criminal, Snape! You're a liar!" Umbridge stated in a angry, high pitched voice, before it suddenly changed. "A cure! You can make a cure, say anything and it's yours!" she tried to talk pleasantly. "Riches, fame, or power."

"One man already promised me that and I didn't feel the least bit tempted." Severus shrugged. "When the Dark Lord can't win me over, why should you be able to? And besides, there is no cure, nor is it likely there will be one discovered any time soon." He shrugged. "And as I seem to recall, you cut the funding for experimenting into a cure with the reasoning that a creature always creature." Severus snapped his finger. "Oh, what a shame."

"Liar!" Umbridge accused. "Scum! Swine! Warlock of dark!"

Severus simply stood up and looked down at Umbridge. "Werewolf." He responded simply in his ever so smooth voice before his eyes turned to the darkest corner of the room, to the little person who was hiding there. Her yellow eyes were the only things that gave her away as they gleamed in the dark. Severus stared directly at them, not moving, not anything. He reached out a hand and demanded, "Come here," in a voice no one could refuse.

Nervously, Evelyn stepped out with narrow eyes, her dirty hair hanging down around her face. She tried desperately to cover her scrawny body with an old blanket, but it did not hide the piteous state of her hunched and dirty form or the fact that she was covered in scars, a fresh, bleeding claw scratch going all the way from her cheek to her chin. It looked deep and it would leave a scar that would never really go away. Her eyes shone in sheer intimidation, as she looked up at Severus… afraid. Evelyn, the one time little warrior who was not afraid of anything, was clearly terrified... and then she stopped in her tracks.

"_All the way over here." _Severus demanded.

For a moment Evelyn stood still, then her head rose and her completely yellow eyes met Severus' own pitch black ones before for the first time ever, she burst into tears and ran all the way to him, grabbed his robe, and cried into it. "_Why did you take so long_?" Evelyn screamed. "You're too late! Way to late! I waited for you to come and rescue me, I did! But you _didn't_ come and look at me now!" she gritted her teeth, showcasing that they indeed were sharp and her eyes permanently yellow, though her tear tracks were running through the dirt and mud. "Look at me! Look at this!" she cried.

"Indeed." Severus replied. "Once you've given in to the dark, there's no going back... not really."

Evelyn looked up at Sev, with huge yellow eyes, and broke altogether as she cried even harder. She clung to Severus's black robe, holding it tightly in her hands. "I'm not big… I'm small... very small." She sobbed.

"We all are," Sev said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Every last one of us, regardless of what we do or say, is so insignificant."

"Don't give me back to mum... please, please whatever you do, don't let her see me, not like this… not like this!" Evelyn begged.

Severus' hand on Evelyn shoulder squeezed lightly and he wrapped his dark cloak around her as she cried, clinging to Severus' leg. "I won't." He responded.

"Don't leave me here!" Evelyn begged again as she cried. "Take me with you! Please! I promise not to be in the way! I promise not to be a crybaby! I can be silent, be out of sight, so you won't even notice I'm there... and cook, I can cook and keep things clean, and I'll do whatever you say! I promise, I swear I'll do everything you say… Please! Just don't leave me!"

"Hush, child." Severus responded, lifting the cloak so Evelyn was completely wrapped in it, and suddenly, in the blink of an eye, they had both vanished, leaving nothing behind but Umbridge, who had passed out, and the unconscious Fenrir Greyback. He was completely red around the mouth and he chuckled in his unconscious state, as if all of this was just the biggest joke to him.

* * *

Late on Sunday evening, a great 'pop' sounded at the quidditch field of Hogwarts and three absolutely miserable looking teenagers appeared, all looking beyond tired and wasted and feeling miserable.

"Oh, great." James commented looked around. "It's the precise spot as Severus sent us to the last time when we came from the mansion."

"Way to go." Sirius drawled sarcastically as he helped Lily up on her legs and then they all started shaking in the cold. Lily glanced over her shoulder to see the dementors waiting for them, floating above the forest. She didn't even attempt a patronus this time; there really wasn't any point to even try.

The three of them fought to get themselves back to Hogwarts. It was obviously past curfew as the hallways were quiet. The three used the invisibility cloak as they went to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

Footsteps sounded in the opposite direction, making the group halt in silence, until a shabby figure came into view.

Remus Lupin, looking pale, gray, and used as he hunched, walked towards the portrait.

James didn't hesitate to drop the cloak, making the group visible.

Remus stopped in his tracks and looked wide-eyed at them, before he exhaled and took a step forward to embrace James in a brotherly hug, then turning to Sirius continuing the procedure, and at last with Lily. "Thank god." He whispered as he warmly hugged Lily. "Thank god."

"Where did you come from?" James asked Remus.

"Hospital wing." Remus told as he let go of Lily. "I was stuffed there as soon as Slughorn saw me when I stepped into the castle, barely able to keep balance. I just got released now to catch some sleep in my own bed… you?" he asked, concerned. "Severus? Evelyn?"

Defeated, they all looked at him as miserably and unknowing as before. None of them were able to say anything; they just stood there in silence.

At last, they went into the common room and each up to their bedrooms.

James opened their door and stepped into the bedroom, where Peter was sitting up in his bed. His head turned to them and he also exhaled as he looked at them. "Thank Merlin!" He threw off the bed covers and hurried towards them. "What took you so long, then?"

But the rest of the marauders just looked silently at him, not responding.

"What's up?" Peter asked, genuine worry crawling up in his voice.

"Not now, Wormy..." James sighed. "I can't... I can't talk about it."

"But." Peter started.

"Peter, please." Remus pleaded in a tired voice. "I promise to tell you all that I can tomorrow, but right now we are just sooo tired." The other two nodded drowsily.

"But I..." and Peter looked embarrassed down. "Yeah, all right." He muttered in a very little voice as the remaining three marauders plopped into bed.

The next day, Lily had the hardest time getting up at all, and a very hard time getting dressed. She did not want to go down to breakfast as if nothing had changed. Everything had, simply everything.

But knew that she had to.

She met up with James, Sirius, Remus, and even Peter at the common room, and in silence, they all walked down to the great hall, where they barely managed to set a foot inside before they were stormed by a orange haired Irish girl. Lieve attacked Lily with an embrace.. "Where have ye been, ye dimdims?" she asked, letting go of Lily.

Regulus moved slower towards them than Lieve, but from the same direction. He looked at them and frowned. "Yes, where?" he asked in a annoyed frown.

"Nothing important." James responded as he shrugged. "We all had the flue, hospital, no biggie, I mean just look at Moony." He pointed at Remus who was still somewhat gray in the face.

Clearly, neither Lieve nor Regulus was convinced as their eyes grew darker as they looked at the others.

"Potter!" McGonagall came marching to him. "Black, Evans." She talked to the other three. As she stood in front of the group, looking angry, she said, "I can honestly say I am disappointed, _very disappointed._"

Oh snap, McGonagall had all ready figured out everything, the ministry had contacted them, and Lily knew they were in so big trouble right now. Being taken to court would be the easy solution; now the young auror, Crouch, finally had his reasons to interrogate them all for real... she closed her eyes.

"I thought you were way above such childish pranks, Mr. Potter and Mr. Black, and Evans, you gave in to it to?" McGonagall asked.

"But Professor." James started before he halted. "Wait, what?" he asked.

"Exploding toilets, ridiculing of Slytherins, and that broom trick, we are talking detention for a month!" McGonagall stated with crossed arms. "And I can assure you that it is you who are going to clean up that mess at the astronomy tower."

"Pranks?" James asked absolutely stunned.

"Yes, we have proof it was you so don't deny it." McGonagall snapped. "Seemed to me you had a very busy weekend; even the ministry must have noticed, I actually received a note this morning with a complaint. But as you so clearly have been busy at this place, this is where you will be serving a punishment."

"Er... okay." James said, a little bewildered. "Yeah, so sorry professor, detention, gosh darn it." He snapped his fingers. "That's… annoying."

McGonagall lifted an eyebrow. "You will hearing of the more specific details later. I believe some time with Hagrid is what we are looking for." She at last said and moved along.

"Pranks?" James asked just as stunned. "How in the whole wild world did that just happen?"

Sirius, Remus and Lily looked just as bewildered at each other before suddenly, their eyes landed on the three remaining people who suddenly stood together, kind of whistling and trying to avoid the eyes aimed at them.

Peter, Regulus and Lieve.


	45. The B squad

***-Last Friday evening –***

Peter felt nothing short of a scared little rat, precisely what he was... what bitter irony, he thought as he scowered the hallways of Hogwarts in search of a good hiding place. He kept his head low and his shoulders tight, glancing inside the library, but there were too many people there… and _those_ people might be there...

He glanced to his right and suddenly saw, to his fear, a messy haired Irish girl who eyed him with her wide sky-blue eyes. Immediately, Peter turned his head away and tried to be as small as possible before closing his eyes, defeated.

"Peter!" Lieve called out as she ran for the mousy boy.

Surprised, Peter looked at the intruder running towards him. Questioningly, he pointed at himself.

"Have you seen Paddy or James? Or Remus?" Lieve asked in a deeply confused voice. "Lily would do nicely too, or anyone really." She exclaimed.

Peter deflated; of course it wasn't him, but the others. Then he gulped and looked away.

"Peter?" Lieve stopped up right in front of him. "What is it?" she asked.

"Er... they're just out... doing some business..." he hesitated.

Lieve's eyebrows flew up. "And Lily too?" she asked.

"Yeah... they should be back soon." Peter hesitated.

"Wha' are they doing?" she started questioning. "I can't find them anywhere! It's creeping me out."

"Er..." Peter scratched himself on the head. "Nothing important."

"You're nervous..." Lieve accused. "You're hiding something."

"No I'm not," Peter stated at once.

"Then do tell, please." Lieve crossed her arms. "If it's no' a secret."

Peter started panicking as his eyes darted around and he trembled under the pressure. "I... I..." he fumbled with his fingers. "It's probably nothing. Just a stupid hunch they would check out."

"They got a blooming hunch about Severus and dinnae tell us about it, didn't they?" Lieve jumped up. "Those blooming rascals! Cheaters! " She started ranting in her usual way. "I swear when I see that Dog, Siri, again, I'll smack a new one! Part of the team, oh yeah, sure!"

How on earth did she get to that conclusion that quickly? Was he that transparent? And if so... what kind of trouble would he soon find himself in? Peter licked his lips as he moved backwards, trying to slip away without the insane, Irish person noticing, but he wasn't that lucky.

Suddenly Lieve's yelling stopped and she looked genuinely embarrassed as she looked, concerned, at him. "Are ye okay?" she asked as she looked at him. "It's not ye I'm yelling at, sorry."

"I'm... fine." he swallowed. "I… better get going." Peter turned around to get out of the room.

"Wait!" Lieve said.

Peter bit his tongue as he turned around.

"Er... I was just wondering…" Lieve tripped over her feet's. "If ye dinnae have anything to do, anyhow... Would ye help me with me Transfiguration homework?" she asked hopefully. "Please, it's due Monday and I need help badly."

"Me?" Peter was stunned into gaping for a moment. "But... I'm not very good. I never help other people with their homework, they coach me through stuff."

"Trust me when I say that you're way better at transfiguration than me!" Lieve started. "I saw ye just transfigure that book into a pillow as if it were nothing! It's not - it's hard! Please help me," she asked again.

"Er... all right, I guess so." he hesitated. "When?" he asked.

"Now would be good." Lieve shrugged. "If it's nay't a bother to ye," she asked nervously. "I mean if ye are busy, I can wait..."

"I'm not busy at all, it's no problem." Peter said in a slightly stunned voice. Truth be told, he had absolutely nothing better to do and any distraction was more than welcome to him at the moment.

"Oh wait!" Lieve stopped up. "I need to tell Regulus about the others... considering they named us Marauders… but they didn't tell us… they are not very good at sharing, are they?" she asked. "I know they don't really know me, so that's fine, but Regulus is Sirius's brother! They should seriously include him more! I'm more with them than him! What kind of sense does that make? I really like to spend them with them and all, but just saying..." she went on in a constant flow of words.

Man, this girl got sidetracked when she talked. Suddenly, Peter realized she had stopped and now looked expectantly at him.

"Er... sorry?" he asked.

"Will it be okay with you if we meet up in half an hour at the library?" she asked in a very patient, soft voice, yet it made Peter wince a bit because it was very clear she had just repeated herself.

"Sure." Peter nodded. "Er... I'll just go and get my things," completely stunned by this turn of events and that he, for the first time ever, was asked to tutor someone. Peter hurried towards the Gryffindor common room and from that point up towards his dorm, where he was faced with the four beds, four very empty beds.. no friends taking a saturday nap before a fun evening. Hesitating, he swallowed as he picked up Sirius' Quidditch book and put it up on the bed where no one would step on it. "Oh shit." he murmured as he clenched his hands. Confused, he put his head in his hands. "If you had gone with them you would have been in the way," he reminded himself. "Probably have crawled into a crack and been better off hiding anyhow... this is better, this is good... it's what you want." he told himself. "Besides, you're already in too deep. If they saw you there... you would... you would..." he couldn't even finish the sentence, and then suddenly he realized. "Oh brilliant, I'm talking to myself! I am going just as nuts as Prongs and Padfoot! But hell! Everything about them is nutty so why not? It's too much for me! Get hurt for all I care!" he slammed his trunk open and collected the books under his arms.

Yet when he was almost down the library again, he regained the feeling of being small as yelling sounded throughout the hall. Regulus seemed to have stormed inside from Quidditch practice, still wearing a green robe, and Lieve was in front of him, her hair somehow looking messier than usual.

"How should I know?" she asked. Clearly they were in the middle of an argument.

"You're with them often enough!" Regulus crossed his arms.

"Don't I wish, but that doesn't mean they tell me a thing!" she talked back. "I'm just as mad at them as ye' are."

"I doubt that!" Regulus hissed.

"Really?" Lieve returned back. "I want to kill ye-know-who just as much as you!"

"Please." Regulus snorted. "When have you ever been of use, what have you even done? When have you even stood in front of him? I was there, I saw him for what it was. This is personal and I swear, I'll see him go down."

"Me too." Lieve returned. "And I don't care how."

Suddenly it was silence.

Peter gulped and tried to back away, but that was when Regulus eyed him. "What do you have to say about this?" he asked. "They called us Marauders and left us out! Though I suppose with you it makes sense as you weren't even there."

"I was there!" Peter told.

"Then where were you?" Regulus asked.

"I was... " Peter gulped. "Inside... and I did see everything!"

"Then you could have stopped it!" Regulus returned. "You could have interfered!"

"How?" Peter asked helplessly.

"I don't know, but you could have done something!" Regulus retorted in an angry, bitter voice.

"Regulus!" Lieve interfered. "If Severus wasn't able to stop it, how could he?" she asked. "It's ye-know-who's fault! Everything is ye-know-who's fault! Penelope would have been ashamed if see saw ye starting to turn on your comrades."

Regulus' mouth closed as his jaw tightened firmly. "I don't see how he is my comrade," he told. "What has he done? What can he even do?"

"We won't know before we see." Lieve defended.

"Pff, he won't be of any use." Regulus snorted. "Neither of you will, so what do I need you for?" he asked. "I'm out of here." he turned around and walked away, leaving muddy footsteps.

"I'm sorry." Lieve mumbled pulling some orange hair behind her ear. "He dinnae mean it. He is just... kind of mad about everything."

"It's all right." Peter sighed. "He's right, you know," he pulled up a chair as he retrieved a book.

"Wha? No way! Sirius, James, and Remus wouldn'ta chosen ye as a friend if they thought ye weren't helpful! Tha' is not fair." Lieve stated.

"Seriously, what can I do that you people can't do ten times better?" Peter asked.

"Lots of things!" Lieve stated.

"Tell me one thing, just one." Peter looked at her.

"Well there is... I am sure that... nay... I mean." she shook her head. "It doesn't work like that! Sometimes ye get to be of use in ways ye didn't know and never expected, right? Right?" she asked and suddenly it seemed like she didn't even believe her own words. At last she also sat, defeated, in front of him. "I suppose we're both pretty useless huh?" she asked.

"You make them smile." Peter told absentmindedly. "The others... they appreciate you. I wish I could do that."

"Really?" Lieve gaped silently and then shook her head. "I mean... you're their friend! They trust you, more than me, they trust ye as a close brother - isn't that saying something?" she asked. " I'm sure they would do anything for ye."

"I guess they would." Peter hesitated. "Doesn't mean I am of any use though."

"I'm sure ye are!" Lieve insisted.

"In what way?" Peter asked.

"Er..." Lieve gulped. "I... er... well, ye can help me pass my transfiguration at least." she then told. "This N.E.W.T. stuff is much harder than I thought!" she exclaimed. "I mean look at this!" she opened her book wide. "What is that even?" she asked. "What does it mean?"

"Why are you even in Ravenclaw?" Peter asked.

"I have no idea, why are you in Gryffindor?" she asked.

"Search me, I really don't know." Peter honestly answered. "I guess it's because I would be a lousy Ravenclaw, die within a minute in Slytherin." And defeated he leaned against the table, talking to himself in his head. "And I would be a terrible, terrible Hufflepuff too." He admitted, ashamed, closing his eyes and hoping that his friends wouldn't show up dead. Some loyal friend he was. He didn't even go with them. No he wasn't that either.

"And I would be a lousy Gryffindor." Lieve sighed.

"Don't be stupid, you would have done fine in Gryffindor," Peter muttered, looking at the text in the book. "You didn't hesitate about going to the mansion. You weren't the least bit afraid." He stated, making Lieve wince, almost as if she were ashamed to admit the truth behind that statement. Peter's eyes scanned the pages. "Oh, this is pretty simple actually. It's all about geometry, you see. The trick is to just go by the formula without questioning it, because with math there is always a single solution you can get to by using the correct formula, so those are the ones you need to memorize. You don't need to make up your own conclusions. You're not even supposed to. That's when you fail. You don't even have to think as long as you remember them and put the numbers in the formula." he wrote it down on a parchment. "And it spits out the right answer." he wrote out the correct number. "Now you try." he pushed it towards Lieve.

"Heh." Lieve almost laughed. "Ye would have done just fine in Ravenclaw." She stated.

And with the help it honestly didn't take all that long. At last, Lieve put down the quill and looked thankfully at Peter. "I think that's it." she smiled.

"Yeah." Peter nodded, a little stunned. "I told you it was easy."

"I would have been sitting here the entire night if ye didn't help me." Lieve told sincerely while giving him an assuring clap on the shoulder. "I don't know, me head just goes completely numb with these formulas and I can only stare at them, not understanding a thing."

"I know what you mean." Peter mumbled. "I wouldn't have gotten enough O.W.L.s to continue if the others hadn't helped me every step of the way." he sighed.

"You're doing fine on your own, ye know." Lieve trailed of. "Me dad always said the worst thing ye can do is keep on sitting in the wagon because then ye never learn to run, so the best thing that ever happened to him was when his own mother kicked him out of the wagon so he had to go that extra mile in the rain."

Peter looked slightly confused... as often happened when Lieve spoke. It was always hard to make sense of it. "Okay..." he mumbled.

Lieve looked a bit unsure, as if she were debating whether she was allowed to ask the next question. Peter, however, wasn't that stupid. It was obvious what was on her mind. It was quite frankly on his mind as well. "I don't know when they'll come back," he admitted, biting his lip. "They did say it would be before Monday and before anyone would realize that they are even gone."

"So that means if that they are not back at Monday, we can assume that they have either been captured, are hurt, or are dead! Great!" Lieve slammed her hands down and sat back, defeated. And though she seemed angry, the worry was also obvious.

"It... it can't be that bad." Peter tried to assure, though his voice was rather shaken.

"Peter, I won't pretend that I know them nearly as good as ye do, but if we have to judge from their personalities..."

Peter swallowed. "But what can we do?" he whispered.

Lieve was silent; she also had no answer.

"Pettigrew!" a heavily breathing younger Gryffindor prefect ran up to him. "Have you seen Potter or Evans?" he asked.

"Er... no..." Peter hesitated.

"Well if you see them, could you tell them to find McGonagall? She needs the assistance of a head boy and girl."

Peter's eyes opened wide. "O... okay." he managed to stammer.

"Ye know wha', I just saw them." Lieve talked to the prefect. "Way outside, around Hagrid's hut." she told.

The prefects face faltered. "Oh, swell." he murmured and turned around to make a run for it.

Stunned Peter and Lieve looked at each other. "What do we do?" Peter asked, horrified.

"I don't know!" Lieve, horrified, answered as she waved with both her arms in the air above her bright red hair.

They both looked pathetically at the door.

"They could be expelled." Lieve muttered.

"Oh, it's way worse than that." Peter swallowed.

Lieve looked at him. "How so?" she asked.

"I... I... " He blinked and shook his head. "Doesn't matter! " he said. "What now?" he asked.

"What would they usually do on a Friday evening?" Lieve asked.

"Er... charm the socks off girls, practice quidditch, set up pranks." Peter listed frantically.

"Pranks!" Lieve exclaimed, making Peter jump. "We'll set up pranks, making it look like it was them, and then we are in the clear."

"That's good!" Peter nodded. "Then they won't figure it out." he looked over his shoulder. "Come on." though they didn't make it far before that bloody Crouch junior was in the way.

"Wormy." he grinned up.

Peter swallowed, looking at the schoolmate.

"Sorry, but I couldn't help but noticing." Crouch looked at his nails. "You're not tousling around with your friends as you usually do at this hour." he looked questioning at Peter as if he had all the right to ask the questions and demand the answers from Peter. "What, may I ask, is the occasion for that?"

"Er..." Peter swallowed.

"Oh Crouch, I knew ye weren't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but honestly." Lieve rolled her eyes. "He is with _me_!" she stated as if he was stupid.

The dark folds of Crouch's face creased as he narrowed his eyes. "I'll be keeping an eye on you." he whispered as Peter and Lieve quickly passed him.

"Seriously, what is that boy's problem?" Lieve asked in a whisper. "He scares the hell out of me, he does, and I like to think I don't get scared tha' easily, me dad made sure of that with all of his ghost stories."

"Shh." Peter hushed her. "Just stay away from him! Hide!" he almost jumped into a corridor, pulling Lieve with him. And true enough, not soon after that, Crouch came snooping about, looking suspicious. Then, at last, he was gone. "If he figures out that they are gone, I'm done for." Peter mumbled.

"He's coming again!" Lieve exclaimed as new food steps sounded... and both silenced in the hiding place. Only it wasn't Crouch... it was just Regulus, and there was no way for him to prepare for the high jacking as Lieve grabbed his arm and pulled him in with them.

"Hey!" he yelled, pulling back his arm. "What are you doing?" he asked angrily.

"Shh." Lieve shushed him. "There's something really smelly going on." she told. "With Crouch."

"Crouch?" Regulus asked and turned around, popping his head outside, only for Lieve and Peter to do the same. They looked like the three stooges as they peered down the hall way, Regulus on top, Lieve in the middle and Peter in the bottom, and this time Crouch did, true enough, come back looking slightly annoyed, which immediately made the unlikely trio retreat back into hiding.

It seemed like the boy snooped around forever and the trio was literately holding their breaths for that long. At last Crouch shrugged and went away, making the three remaining people sigh in sheer relief.

Then Regulus blinked, and he looked at them. "Why on earth are we even hiding?" he asked and stepped resolutely out.

"Trust me, it's the right thing to do." Peter swallowed as he also nervously stepped out.

Regulus seized him. "You know something," he then stated while he narrowed his eyes at Peter.

"What? No!" Peter was visibly shaking as he scratched his neck. "I just know that he... that he's crazy, that's all."

"Yeah, right." Regulus crossed his arms. "I meant about the other Marauders, you idiot!"

"I... I... I... have no idea what you mean." Peter stammered.

"Don't give me that bull—"

"Stop it!" Lieve stood in the middle, pushing them away from each other. "Listen! We are in a major pickle, the three of us! We need to work together. Regulus, ye need to trust Peter. He can help us, and we can help him. I know we are sort of the B-Squad here, but come on! Peter, tell him." she looked expectantly at him.

"_Me?_" Peter almost yelled in surprise. "What are you saying?"

"Ye'r kind of the Marauder senior here, what do we do?" Lieve asked.

"_What!_" Peter asked. "Me-me-me?" he pointed at himself. "Don't look to me for help, that's always a terrible idea! Absolutely terrible! You don't want to do that!"

"Please!" Lieve begged. "Ye'r the only true Marauder around, what so of pranks would they do? I cannae pull it off without ye!"

"Wow, pranks?" Regulus asked. "Who said anything about pranks? That's so childish; I don't even know where to begin."

"Listen, people are starting to notice that the others are gone." Lieve dragged him down as she started whispering. "Bu' if we leave evidence that they were here, no one would be the wiser."

"Why exactly would I do this?" Regulus asked.

"What we will be doing basically is framing Sirius and James, if we land them in detention it's good job on our part and we are going free." Lieve whispered making it sound like the treat of the century.

"As amusing that sounds, it's really not my style." Regulus rolled his eyes. "No thanks."

Lieve furrowed her brows. "Then think about this: ye need them, ye need to hear what they have to say when they come back, and..." she let it linger. "Then they will be in debt to you. Think about it, the Marauders in debt to you, nayte the other way around." she stood up. "Ye wont have to ask for information, ye can demand it."

"Wait, are you pulling a Slytherin on me?" Regulus asked.

"Nay." Lieve shrugged. "And by the way." she innocently studied her nails. "Sirius will be in deep trouble after this."

"Fine." Regulus at last sighed, defeated. "So what do we do?" now he looked at Peter.

"Er." Peter hesitated. "They used to target Slytherins." he started. "But they would also spend Saturday on Quidditch practice."

"Slytherins?" Regulus asked wrinkling his nose. "You want me to target my own house?"

"Not our friends." Lieve mussed. "But man, that Crouch give me the creepers, I mean brrr." she wrapped her arms around herself. "Put him together with the thestralls and the horses will be the ones running off."

Regulus tried not to look it, but he was clearly intrigued.

Peter took a deep breath. "We are really going to do this, aren't we?" he asked. And at last it seemed like he gave in. "Okay, but we can't be caught! That's the most important thing. The Marauders have a track record of only being caught one out of ten times and that's with an invisibility cloak and two-ways mirror at their disposal. We don't have that either, so we need to be coordinated. And what we do have?" he opened his backpack. "The map. It's totally useless outside of Hogwarts, so they left it," he showed them the parchment.

"Brilliant." Lieve whispered. Regulus looked curiously at the blank piece of paper.

"I helped make it." Peter stated a little proudly. "It shows all the hidden corridors in Hogwarts as well as describing how you get into them. They wouldn't have found all of those passages if it weren't for me. All the hidden rooms it shows, they couldn't have found them without me! I was the one who discovered the most secret passages!" despite himself Peter seemed to enjoy this little chance of showing off. And indeed it was true, without him crawling around the cracks of Hogwarts, using the sense of a rat to find all the small hiddens room and find a way out from the out-side, no way the map would ever have been that through-out, that knowledge did make him proud. "And you can make it turn back to a parchment in a snap, so no one will know we have it. To make the map appear, all you need to do is." he pulled out his short wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." he tapped the map, and immediately the drawing started spreading out.

"Peter." Lieve barely whispered. "Yer amazing."

* * *

And as the afternoon became evening and evening became night, it was kind of hard to argue that the Marauders were present. Sirius's currently favorite girls found roses in the oddest places, an entire bathroom was suddenly lacking its toilet seats, the Slytherin purists suddenly seemed to have quite the trouble with frogs in their school items, and Crouch... well he was pissed; having rotten eggs poured all over him like that didn't seem to have sat well with him.

It was well after curfew as the unlikely trio thanked each other for the success whilst hiding away in the Phoenix Fighter headquarters. Regulus trying his very best to appear like he was against what they had done, but the rush had gotten to even him, Peter tried to hide is obvious pride, and Lieve was smiling broadly, the only one not trying to hide a thing.

"Honestly." Regulus shook his head.

"Oh, it's all innocent fun." Lieve told him in a sheepish grin; she seemed to have had a good time.

"Believe me, the real Marauders have done way worse." Peter took in a breath.

"What do ye mean real Marauders, ain't that us Wormtail?" Lieve asked.

"I don't call you Carrot." Peter murmured, a little annoyed.

"Sorry, leader." Lieve looked at Peter. "Is Pete fine then?"

Peter nodded absentmindedly. "So,.." He hesitated. "If they are not back yet tomorrow..."

Regulus and Lieve looked at each other at last Lieve said the word.

"We'll pull the greatest prank of the year." She stated.

"And pray that they will be back Monday." Regulus swallowed.

"I pray on my life." Peter whispered, so silently that there was no chance that neither Lieve nor Regulus would hear.

On Sunday morning, Lieve sat at the breakfast table, nervously chewing on a ham sandwich, but she was unable to swallow. It seemed like forever before Peter finally made it to the door to the hallway, and immediately Lieve rose with her sandwich in her hand and sprinted over to him. "Are they back yet?" she asked in a weird, undistinguishable voice as she chewed on the Sandwich.

Peter blinked. "Sorry, I didn't catch that." He said honestly. "But while you're here, they are still not back!" he told.

Lieve rolled her eyes as she chewed. "That's wa' what I wa' asking about." she pouted.

"So what is your idea this time around?" Peter asked.

"Quite frankly, I am out of ideas." Lieve told honestly. "It's ye'r turn."

"Well, er." Peter hesitated. "If they are not back before afternoon, I suppose we could..."

They were not back in the afternoon, even though Lieve and Peter were scouting out in the rain as if hoping they would just suddenly appear. At last, it was too late and the two second-rate Marauders headed for the Quidditch field, both adorning themselves in the scarlet red Quidditch capes.

"So." Lieve murmured. "How good are ye on the broom?"

"I am horrible on a broom." Peter told honestly. "Every time I have to, I lose concentration because I am so afraid of the height, and then I crash."

"Oh." Lieve murmured.

"You?" Peter asked.

"I like the winged horses better." Lieve told honestly. "I never quite caught it with tha' blooming broom."

Peter sighed. "I suppose it's a good thing there is one who can figure it out…

"You're sure Regulus will come aren't you?" he asked.

"Aye, he'll come all right." Lieve told him before mumbling to herself. "I sure hope he'll come." She looked up at Peter with a warm smile. "Now help me with the hair." She asked.

"Stand still." Peter instructed as he drew his wand and started chanting so Lieve's hair suddenly took on a darker tone, smoothened out, and became less messy and less of a haystack like as it became a beautiful, dark red. Lieve slipped her hand through it and looked stunned at her own reflection in her quidditch goggles. "Ye sure have a gift with this transformation stuff ye do."

"Well I…" nervously, Peter scratched his neck. "Had good mentors and a lot of practice."

"Still, this is skill." Lieve told honestly as she looked at herself and the hair in different angles. "Never in a million years of both using magic and potions can I make me hair look like this. Can I keep it?"

"Why?" Peter asked. "Your regular hair looks better."

"Ye think so?" Lieve asked, blinking astonished as the smooth locks of what would normally be Lily's hair fell around her pale face.

"Yeah." Peter nodded, noticing how unnatural that kind of hair looked to Lieve. "It looks kind of cool." He shook his head. "Besides, you know how transformation magic works. It's never permanent, and slowly it will return, no matter what I do." He murmured. Then he noticed and he frowned.. her regular hair was so thick that it covered it no problem, but suddenly. "Lieve, your ear." Peter frowned.

"What?" Lieve turned away from her reflection before looking at Peter.

"Is it just me or is it pointy?" Peter asked in a frown.

"Argh!" Lieve's hand flew up towards her ear and felt it. Very quickly she smoothed her hair over it. "It's er... it's." Lieve blushed deeply. "Lays to the family, it's nothing!" she exclaimed.

Peter blinked. "Well okay." He murmured.

"Please don't tell any-one." Lieve then blushed as she kept on calming her hair down blushing even deeper. "I er... it's a… it's a little embarrassing."

"I wont tell." Peter blinked. "I'm pretty good at keeping secrets." He told thinking of Remus' little problem, he hadn't told anyone about that! Not ever! That he had to himself, and well, a pointy ear was hardly any-thing beside that he thought to himself.

Regulus was to arrive just as Peter's hair looked somewhat liked James. "There are never anyone who is going to buy this." Peter murmured as he put on a pair of glasses, James extra glasses.

"In the dark and while ye move so fast on a broom, no one will know the difference." Lieve responded trying not to look at Peter who looked both awkward and out of place in the scarlet red quidditch robe, the black hair, the glasses and the broom in hand.

Regulus however just starred blankly at Peter and how ridicules he looked, before he snorted. "This better be worth it."

"Paddy is going to be in detention for life." Peter murmured.

Regulus smiled evilly. "Good."

"So we are ready, aye people?" Lieve asked, positioning herself on the broom. "And remember to show off in front of the library window."

"Of course." Regulus nodded, positioning himself on his own broom and then straightening out the borrowed scarlet Quidditch robe. As long as you didn't talk to him, Regulus honestly looked much like Sirius with the wind tangling his hair. It was practically impossible to even notice this wasn't Sirius.

"Let's go." Peter nodded and they were all off, flying upwards.

Regulus couldn't help it; he loved flying far over the ground, seeing the landscape unfolding beneath him. He felt so free in the air, he breathed it in, and suddenly it was so easy.

He zoomed for the library window and made three summersaults in front of it, sending a smile to the girls on the other side who all giggle. Lieve soon flew to his sight, so she also was in sight in front of the window but still in semi darkness. "See, told ye it would be a snap."

"Just lets get over with this." Peter almost shrieked as he clung to his broom, hanging somewhere beneath them.

Regulus shrugged. "All right then." He almost sighed as he looked to the astronomy tower; he drew his wand and flew like a bullet upwards and to the highest tower at the castle.

Lieve and Peter looked at each other. "I thought he was the one not for pranks." Peter pointed out.

Lieve shrugged. "Any reason to smile is a good reason, come on." And they flew side by side up to Regulus who had all ready started the handy work, pointing at the tower with his wand, several people downwards had started pocking their head out of the windows to look curiously upwards to see what was happening.

It didn't take long, the teachers had no had a chance to come out and stop them neither see any-one up close as the b-squat stood back at the Quidditch field with clear view of the tower. "Now tha' is true art." Lieve commented as she looked upwards. "Worthy of Vincent Van Gogh I'll say!"

"Who's Vincent Van Gogh?" Regulus asked as he also in a rather relaxed manner looked at their handy-work.

"A very famous muggle-artist." Lieve informed. "Ye should see those pictures, they are just beautiful, me mother used to have copies of em all over the house… think starry night is me favorite, always got me to think of other magical worlds."

"Muggle artist?" Regulus asked with a lifted eyebrow. "Then his pictures don't move, dull." Regulus shrugged. "Why do you have so much random, useless information?"

"Ye know it's weird, it's like I can remember 80 percent of all stuff I am ever told, but only the useless facts." Lieve responded.

"I know that feeling." Peter nodded. "Sometimes I just remember everything about some quidditch tournament, but when I need information to an essay, about something the teacher all ready taught us about, it's just gone."

"Life can be so weird that way." Lieve nodded, before turning around and starting digging under the seat.

"So how long do you think Sirius will have detention?" Regulus casually asked Peter.

"Rest of the school year for sure." Peter said in return. "Meaning rest of his time at Hogwarts."

"Brilliant." Regulus grinned.

"You know, just right now, you are a lot like Sirius." Peter pointed out.

"Oh no." Regulus grimaced. "What do I do to make it stop?"

Peter smiled amused. "You are doing that fine on your own, he is a nice bloke though. You shouldn't be so hard on him." He pointed out. "A little arrogant, but a good friend."

"Be glad you don't have any elder siblings." Regulus snorted.

"Don't be to sure." Peter looked back at him. "I actually got both a big sister and a big brother, both of them way older than me, when I entered Hogwarts my sister was on her last year and my brother working in the ministry, I'm the follow up kid."

"So how are you with them?" Regulus asked casually.

"I don't know, they are just there I suppose, way bigger than me. We don't really talk." Peter shrugged.

"How about you Lieve?" Regulus asked as Lieve came back with a basket. "Any annoying siblings?"

"Nay, only child." Lieve responded. "Me mom was ill so she shouldn't have been able to have children at all, then I happened and it was considered a wee bit of a miracle. I'm a wish child. I'm downright called 'life' ye know. Butterbeer?" she asked reached a bottle of butterbeer to Regulus who accepted and then one to Peter. "I wish I had a sibling or something though, grew up on a farm with no children for miles around at all, it would be nice to have had a play-friend or something. Some-one to teach stuff." She muttered sadly.

"I say be grateful you don't have to drag around with one." Regulus responded a little sourly. "Or any family for that matter, there is not one person in my family I would want to see again."

Lieve silenced and looked in a completely other direction as if she didn't even want to answer.

Peter shook his head. "You were very close to your parents weren't you?" he asked Lieve.

And Regulus could have hit himself over the head; she was the one supposedly having lost both of her parents, her entire family a year ago around this time.

At last Lieve shrugged seemingly dismissing the entire subject all together. "In either case here's for friends and family, whether it's wanted or unwanted." She clanked her beer bottle against Regulus' and then Peter's. "For the b-squat mates. Thanks, mate." She smiled at Peter.

"You're welcome and thank you." Peter responded. "For a job well done." He then nodded.

And then hey sat together and the empty Quidditch tribune, drinking their butter bear as they admired the astronomy tower, which now had a big fancy drawing on it in complete read, spelled in scarlet letters stood. _"The Dark Lord can suck it!" _

* * *

***-**_**At the breakfast table Monday morning. -**__*_

"Wow-wow so let me get this straight!" Sirius halted. "You three." He looked at Peter, Regulus and Lieve. "Have spend all weekend, setting up pranks and framing _us _for it? And succeeded perfectly?" he asked.

The three teenagers looked at each other and then shrugged. "Yeah." Lieve spoke.

"I think a thank you is in order really." Regulus snorted. "No one is going to believe you weren't at the castle. We did cover your arses."

Lily looked just as stunned at them. "Seriously, you have no idea how much."

"I have never been so proud ever before in my entire life." Sirius almost sniffed and then suddenly made a surprise lounge. "Come here you three!" he reached for them.

"Hey! Get away!" Regulus duck out of Sirius arms and managed to avoid getting touched. "No thank you."

Sirius didn't seem to take notice though as he hugged the remaining two. "You are the bestest friends ever!" he grinned.

James chuckled lightly. "Don't kill them pads! Come on lets have some breakfast, I didn't think it was at all possible, but I am in a better mood now, thank you guys."

Peter grinned, unable to hide his current smile; he had done it, he had done something worthwhile, it was a feeling unlike anything he had tried. He felt... changed inside some-how, and didn't fell like the small useless one as Lieve flung an arm around his shoulder and they all walked towards the Gryffindor table. No, for a short amount of time, for just a little window, he had felt just a little competent, he had been the senior.

But then suddenly Crouch from the Slytherin table looked at him, send Peter that dangerous look that old everything, and at ones, Peter felt small again, like the little rat he was even as he was dragged away from the stare by his friends' strong arms and they all looked at him with such misplaced enthusiasm.


	46. Lilys choice

The school week that came after that incident was a complete and utter nightmare for Lily; she was exhausted, overworked, and sleep deprived from the weekend trip alone, and yet... she couldn't sleep, she couldn't rest.

Her thoughts were constantly swirling around in her head and she couldn't make them stop. It was so noisy up there and she couldn't make it stop.

She had told James about the little vial simply because she couldn't hold it in without it driving her insane. "I am not going to open it!" she had ranted to James. "That's just what he wants me to do, and I won't _do it!_"

James had shrugged in response. Now he sat in a chair, his feet up on the table. "Fine, that's a wise decision. Throw it out, then, so you can't be tempted."

"I can't!" Lily had hissed straight back. "These are his memories, I can't do it!"

"At least stop obsessing," James said.

"I am _not_ obsessing!" Lily hissed.

Their Thursday evening Phoenix Fighter meeting definitely wasn't any better. Lily still claimed that she wasn't obsessing, but a lot of people were ready to vote for the contrary.

"Expecto Patronum!" Lily hissed at their meeting, swinging wildly her wand, but not a single spark escaped her wand. "_Expecto Patronum - Expecto Patronum – Expecto Patronum__!" _she kept screaming in rapid succession, looking quite like the maniac.

Carefully, _all _younger students took a step away from her so she was standing on her own, letting out her frustration. The rest were just left to watch.

"It's must be that time of the month again," James commented from where he stood leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

"James, it's wasn't even funny the first time you used the joke. Now it's just redundant." Remus said, defeated. "And it's even less fun."

"Hey! Don't blame Prongsie!" Sirius exclaimed. "Blame the old mighty god who is controlling all of our words and movements as if we were puppets! That's the person with the bad sense of humour!"

Remus looked at Sirius with a very weird, but stern look.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"You are such an idiot." James told Sirius

Lieve sat down on the floor, dealing cards with Peter, with several small people trying to hide from Lily behind them. "Or maybe Siri does have a point." She mused. "Maybe we are all controlled by a great, big org, and there is no way out... no way in…" she bowed forward and whispered. "Then ye have no choice but to follow the scheme in which everything is destined and set in cold, grey stone." And she said it in such a way that it sent tingles down Peters spine.

Again, it was one of those instances where it was impossible to tell whether Lieve was joking or not, so Peter just sat, blinking rapidly and trying to piece a string of sense together from what had just been said.

"Oh dinnae fret, senior marauder." Lieve chuckled, giving Peter a firm slap on the shoulder so he almost fell backwards. "I'm just messing with ya! As far as I'm concerned, the entire world makes no bloody sense at all."

"Heh." Peter swallowed.

* * *

Once again, in the middle of the night, Lily was left to sit up, completely sleep less, and look at the little silver vial in her hand, turning it and frowning at it.

Stupid, idiotic, dump, Sev! I hate you Sev! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! She ranted inside of her head as she threw the vial on her nightstand and crashed head first into bed. Already, she knew that although she was exhausted, she wouldn't get the tiniest bit of sleep. Damn you, Sev... she thought.

The four original marauders were exhausted, particularly Remus. But the other three were all fast asleep, all snoring heavily. James was dreaming about eating strawberries with whipped cream. It was a good dream, one of the rare ones and one of the few times he hadn't been haunted by the images of wild beasts and poisonous teethes this week.. which made it all that more annoying to be startled awake. "Wha—aaaah!" James groaned.

"James!" a female voice hissed. "Wake up!"

James blinked; everything around him was a blur. Then he discovered the red haired girl in front of him. "Lily!" he exclaimed, surprised, as he almost fell out of bed in shock.

"Shh!" at once, Lily covered his mouth with her hand. "Keep quiet! I need a favour."

James blinked. "You know, you coming to me in the middle of the night, not wanting to wake the others, and asking for a favour... This seems kind of strange."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Can I borrow the map and cloak?" she at last asked.

James blinked. "Why?" he asked.

"I need to borrow Dumbledore's pensieve." Lily told firmly.

"You're going to view the memories?" James asked, a bit stunned.

"Yes." Lily stated in a bitter tone. "I haven't had a moment's rest _the entire week, _and I won't be able to get any sleep before I do."

"You're sure?" James asked. "I mean, you said yourself that-"

"_I know what I said!"_ Lily snapped, thinking back at all of her endless rants over the week. She didn't give anything specific away, though. She was the only one who knew of Sev's time travel paradox, and she would guard that secret with all of her might. "I changed my mind okay! Now can I borrow the cloak or not?"

"Easy, easy, of course you can..." James fumbled with the glasses and then he leaned over starting digging in his trunk before he paused. "But only if I can come with you." He suddenly said.

Lily's mouth dropped open. "No." she adamantly refused.

Then James sat up. "Then you won't be borrowing the cloak, sorry, love."

Lily felt her infamous temper rising. "Fine." She hissed. "Come, but don't tell the others."

"Wouldn't dream of it." James smiled as he pulled up the silvery cloak.

* * *

"And you're absolutely sure about this?" James asked as Lily they stood together in front of the pensieve in Dumbledore's office, looking down at the swirling mass in front of them.

"No, not really." Lily murmured. "My better half keeps screaming it's a bad idea and I am going to regret it later.. I already know this isn't going to show me the whole picture, just whatever he thinks will make me hate him."

"Then why even bother?" James asked.

"I have to." Lily murmured bitterly. "I hate to be left out, I hate not knowing. Maybe there's some clues in here, anything that can help me figure this mess out!"

"Want me to come with you?" James asked in a genuinely concerned voice.

"Don't even think about it, Potter." Lily told him stiffly. "Whatever happens, if I scream or gasp, don't come down there, you hear me?" she asked. "Pull me up if you feel you must, but don't you dare take a step in there," she demanded before facing the pensieve with memories swirling around and lighting up the otherwise dark room before she took a deep breath and then bent over, shoving her forehead in.

Everything around her whirled around, making Lily dizzy, to say the least, as she fell down and down into a deep hole, it seemed, until she at last landed heavily on her feet. Looking around, Lily immediately knew where she was. This was the Hogwarts grounds and right beside her sat Sev, looking pretty much like himself, or as he had been a year ago. Young, sullen, awkward, his long nose buried deep down in a book and his eyes skimming over the text, looking greedy as hell as he tried to consume and take it all. Lily gaped; she had forgotten! She had forgotten how greedy he used to look before the change, and it suddenly made shivers go down her spine to see her beloved Sev looking like a huge spider looking for flies.

"Hey, Snivellus!"

James! Lily saw, but evidently, it was not the same James she had left. The James before her was an immature, close minded, and childish boy. Why would you show me this memory? She asked herself as she had to witness the horrible act of Sirius and James torturing the defenceless Severus.

Body binding him on the ground, all of that stuff.

Still, Lily frowned as she looked at the picture, why the heck this memory? She asked again, it was just painful to watch but nothing else, it didn't change anything.

"Leave him alone!"

Lily saw herself come running to the rescue and it was first then she realised the major difference here. Sev was the difference. The way Lily had remembered it, he had acted irrationally. He had been quiet and calculating, unlike what she would have expected at the time, and here, he was acting like he should have at that time; he was shouting and fuming on the top of his lungs in a fit of anger, and now, he stood there aiming a wand at James. And in a split second James' chin was hit with Sectumsempra, but it only took less than a second for him to hit Severus back with levicorpus so Severus was left to hang there in the air upside down, his robes falling down his scrawny ankles and his face burning hot in anger.

And worst of all, all of the students around them were cheering, cheering for Severus' humiliation.

Her double was mad at James, and good god, the idiot kept trying to flirt with her. "Take the curse off him, then!" the doppelganger swore at James.

James sighed deeply and let Sev down with a great, big thud. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus." James snorted.

Sev looked beyond furious, but this being the younger version, he had no grace or control over himself, just pure hatred and humiliation as he spoke again. "I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Shocked Lily's mouth dropped open as she looked wide-eyed at the young Severus. Him? He had called her a mudblood? As in genuinely... Lily couldn't believe it. But she took a deep breath and reminded herself that he wanted her to hate him. Well, it was harsh, but Lily knew of worse things, then her eyes fell on her double, who blinked before turning cold. "Fine," she said angrily. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

"_What!"_ Lily exclaimed. "Hold on, I didn't say that! That's not me!" she looked gobsmacked at her double, just in time for James to cut in.

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily's doppelganger shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is."

Lily didn't bother to look more at the scene; she twirled around and shouted up in the air. "I don't know what the deal is with showing me that!" she exclaimed. "Teaching me a lesson?" she asked. "I'm not that same person anymore, I've changed my mind about you because you gave me a reason to change!" she shouted up in the air. "Yes, at the time I was doubting our friendship, but you've more than proven where your heart lies! What good would ever come of this?" she asked. "Honestly, what do you want me to see when you've already proved you are worth the wait?" she asked as the scene started changing once again.

"Now where am I?" Lily questioned, looking around and quickly recognising the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Her own double was standing in the opening, and Sev was on the other side.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way and I've chosen mine."

"No – listen, I didn't mean – "

" – to call me mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled, on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look, Lily's double turned and climbed back through the portrait hole…

First Sev looked hurt, his eyes wet as he hunched over, touching the portrait with his hand, looking both heartbroken and defeated. But then he closed his eyes, his face creased in angry, vengeful folds, trying to cover up any bitter tears and sadness. "Fine," He hissed. "FINE!" he then yelled. "GO! I DON'T NEED YOU, _STUPID MUDBLOOD_!"

Horrified, Lily gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

"I'll become all powerful, you'll see! I show them, and I'll show _you!_" he growled, showing off his infamous temper. "You should be honoured that I ever wanted to spend time with you! You'll come crawling back, you'll see!"

"Sev, _you_..." Lily hissed. "Bastard." She grumbled.

Everything swirled again, not even giving the young Severus time to be sad, but only frustrated and angry. The new setting was that of a huge mansion. Several black robed men were standing around, and Sev, still young as ever, stood in the middle. He was smiling as if this was the happiest, proudest moment of his life. His black eyes were shining with ambition and greed, his entire body releasing a vibe of excitement as he fought to hold back his wide grin.

"Severus Snape." A man whispered. That voice! Lily gulped as she slowly looked up... him... Lord Voldemort, with his red eyes, pale skin, and a face that should have been beautiful, but was instead appalling. "You wish to serve?" He asked in such a smooth voice as he seized Severus.

Sev almost trembled in sheer anticipation, his grin ill concealed. "Yes, my lord." He whispered with glee crawling up his shuddering spine.

"You're completely and freely willing to take the mark?"

"Yes, my lord!" Sev grinned, his black eyes sparkling.

Lily felt sick. She felt like she should turn away.. she shouldn't watch, yet she couldn't tear her eyes away as Sev, who only too happily offered Voldemort his pale arm, completely bare and ready.

Voldemort smiled his evil grin that showed he knew he had captured another innocent and unknowing fish in his net, this time one with potential. The tip of his white wand was pushed against Sev's bare flesh and a sizzling noise sounding. Sev's eyes widened, and he hunched over in pain as he gritted his teeth. Sweat was beading on his forehead and he groaned, but he did not pull the arm away, even if that was all he needed to do to stop the pain. He fought a brave fight to just keep the arm there to the last moment; it even started to smoke from the arm, and it both sounded, smelled, and looked beyond nasty. But still, Sev did not pull away. He kept his arm there, under Voldemort's wand, to the last.

Finally, Voldemort removed the wand and Sev collapsed on the ground, lying there for only a second before he opened his eyes and looked at his branded skin, his face cracking in a grin at the sight of a skull and a snake branded on his pale skin….. forever.

The image changed again. This time, they were out in the open. Several death eaters were standing around, and there was a group of people standing huddled together, all looking frightened to death, thin, and pale.

"Stupid mudbloods!" Bellatrix sneered. "Your turn," She smirked at Sev, "and don't try and back off, it would accomplish nothing. If you don't kill them, I will, and then you will get cruciod for not obeying orders." Bellatrix informed him in what could be considered a gleeful tone.

Sev looked stone cold. He stood straight and yet looked so skinny and small in his black robe, which swirled in the wind. He swallowed nervously, not yet able to hide his emotions so well. His eyes flickered and his tongue wetted his lips. He swiftly drew his wand and pointed it at one of the people. Lily gaped... Penelope! She was standing there, alive, looking scared out of her mind. She looked pleadingly at Sev, but it was like Sev didn't see at all; he didn't recognise and he didn't hesitate... "Avada Kedavra." The green light flew out, hit Penelope straight in the chest, and she was dead.

Falling down on the ground, Penelope laid there stone dead. Severus turned so he didn't have to see, but it was too late. The image would be forever ingrained under his eyelids.

Lily closed her eyes, trying to tell herself that it didn't mean anything. Sev had no choice... he... it just wasn't right!

As Lily opened her eyes again, she witnessed Severus in a very pathetic position. The young man was sitting on his knees in front of a wooden door in what looked like an old hotel hallway, pressing his ear against the door and listening as intently as a second rate stalker. His greasy, black hair fell down his pale face, which looked sullen beyond words. He looked like a cross between and eel and a snake as his tongue licked his lip, and his greedy eyes lit up as he pressed his skinny hands against the door. "And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives..." he whispered gleefully.

"Excuse me, what?" Lily asked as she blinked. "Heck, Sev, what does that even mean?" she asked, but the picture changed again before she could get an answer and this time, Severus was standing before Voldemort, speaking the exact same sentence.

"And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives." Severus told with triumph in his voice.

Voldemort hissed in anger as his hands folded into a tight fist. "So they think someone has a power I don't?" he asked. "Those hopes must be crushed."

"Easily done, my lord. Parents who defied thee three times and recently gave birth to a child by the end of July, there can't be a lot of those." Severus grinned. "We'll make an example of them."

"And that will be the same as crushing Dumbledores foolish hopes." Voldemort replied thoughtfully. "Good, very good indeed. A job well done, Severus. You shall be rewarded."

"My lord is too kind." Severus didn't even bother to cover up his grin as he bowed his head. Lily honestly wished she could just go there and hit him over the head, right now! He was a disgusting sight, absolutely appalling and disgusting as he stood there and oh-so-proudly and just sentenced an entire family to their deaths without even knowing whom they were.

Lily honestly felt sick just looking at him.

"So we will strike the Potters at Halloween." Voldemort smiled.

Suddenly Severus was silenced, his grin washing off and his already pale face pale even more so. "What?" he asked disbelieving.

"The Potters?" Lily asked questionable. "James' kid? He's got a kid?" honestly, James just didn't seem the type to Lily.

"The Potters," Voldemort informed him slickly. "They just had a child by the end of July, didn't you know, Severus?"

"The-the-the- Potters?" Severus stammered.

"Something the matter?" Voldemort asked, his hand gliding over his wand as they walked.

"No, my lord, of course not, my lord." Severus whimpered. "Or well.. yes, I mean, urh.." he was clearly sweating under Voldemorts gaze, terrified of what would happened if he spoke what he wanted to say. "Li-Li-Lily Potter, you don't need to kill her, do you?" he asked. "I mean, it's only the child that matters, is it not?"

"WHAT!" Lily shouted. "I married James? I had a child with him?" she asked and then looked furiously at Severus. "And he is fine about _killing my child! _DUMBASS!"

But the conversation kept on going in front of her, mercilessly, as if she weren't there.

"Severus?" Voldemort asked, sounding almost amused. "Is that mudblood of a special interest to you?"

"I, er..." Sev blushed deeply, his face turning dark red as he looked down, unable to meet Voldemort's eyes. "Fancy her," he at last muttered, sounding both awkward and ashamed.

"Fancy her?" Voldemort asked with a lifted eyebrow. "Well, a pretty mudblood slave was never any harm. As long as that's all it is."

Severus's blush deepened even more as he squeezed his eyes shut. "Please." He muttered. "I ask - no, I beg, I beg of you: spare Lily Potter! I'll do anything! Spare her! I will never request or question anything the mighty lord says, just... this once, have mercy. Please."

"That's gotta be the most disgusting thing I have ever seen." Lily murmured as she saw Sev pleading not for James, not for the child, not for countless other lives, but just hers. "Me over a baby..." and she closed her eyes, trying to remind herself that Sev wanted her to do this, wanted her to break free and hate him; that was the purpose of showing this to her. He picked these memories out to make her as angry at him as possible, to make her hate him as much as possible.

Finally Lily opened her eyes to try and see the rest of the conversation with that in mind, but it was hard; her stomach was still turning and her anger burning, she really did feel disgusted.

"I shall consider." Voldemort told coldly. "You have done well, so I'll let it slide for now. Now leave me. I have other plans to consider."

Severus swallowed as he scrambled to his legs and closed his eyes. He was shaking and he barely kept his balance as he stumbled out. It was so unlike Sev. Like something, in the last few minutes, had finally broken down inside of him and everything was crashing down on top of him.

Lily realised Sev may not have seen it himself, but that day there, the old Sev had died and a new Sev was just about to form, just not quite yet... but he was close, so close. Right now she was witnessing the state in between...

Lily closed her eyes. Why? How could the circumstances have been so terrible that Severus had to grow up this way?

As she opened her eyes, the scenery had changed again. Lily sort of recognised the living room of the house in Spinners end, though it was even more rugged than Lily had ever seen before, and the cause of it was obvious.

Severus was standing in the middle, being a tornado of fury. "AAARGGGHHH!" he screamed simply, taking the table and flinging it across the room. He smashed the vials on the bookshelf, teared down the books in the process, and he threw them on the fire.

Tears of agony were pouring down his cheeks. "ARGH!" he screamed again, kicking the chair beside him so it crashed on the wall and broke.

He picked up what looked like a picture frame and was just about to throw it when his eyes glanced down, and he broke, sat down in a corner of his messy room and cried. "My fault." He cried. "It's all my fault," he moaned, dropping the picture so the glass broke and scattered on the floor.

And Lily looked down at it to discover it was a picture of herself and Sev as eleven year olds, standing oh-so-proudly as they were on their way to Hogwarts for the very first time. "I..." Lily swallowed. "I died... Voldemort killed me."

"My fault." Severus responded covering his young face with his hands.

"But Severus... what about the child?" Lily asked. "Don't you care about the child he wanted to kill? A baby Sev. _My_ baby!"

"Damn you, Potter." Severus hissed. "Damn you, dark lord, damn you, Dumbledore. To hell with all of you!" he gritted.

Lily didn't know what to say as she sat down in front of Severus, unable to ask questions, unable to touch, slap, or hug him, unable to forgive him. She didn't even know which one she wanted to do. Lily felt quite ill, honestly, and even though she had her eyes closed, she couldn't shut out the voices.

"But the child is safe, Severus. Isn't that something? Voldemort couldn't kill him."

"_I don't care about the child! I wish he had died and she had lived!"_

Lily clenched her eyes, covering her ears with her hands. A sob escaped her mouth. She didn't want to die... no, she didn't want to die, but even now, if she had to decide between herself and a baby she didn't know, there was no dilemma for her. She would sacrifice herself. That was the person she was and it stung in her chest like a knife to hear such cruel words coming out of Severus's mouth, the lack of understanding for whom she was and what she wanted twisted in her heart and she cried.

As she opened her eyes, it was all so completely different.

She didn't quite recognise the room she was in, it was small and dungeon like, the wall gray and probably cold. Shelves covering the walls were filled with books, jars, and all sorts of potion ingredients. On the desk in the middle of the room, there was parchment and a quill, and it all looked so neat and yet devoid of any homeliness.

Lily turned her head and saw the shadow, the owner of the room, standing with his back to her. He was reading a book, and the sparse light made him a black silhouette. His head bowed down, the long, black hair falling down his shoulders and the dark, black robes flowing with his graceful movements as he turned another page in his book. "Sev..." Lily hesitated.

At last, he closed the book and stuffed it back on the shelf among the others before he turned around.

Lily gasped as she took a step back. This Sev was absolutely not a teenager, and he didn't look very recognisable as he stood straight with an emotionless expression on his face. He was absolutely and completely cold, the stature, his eyes… everything... in the last memory, she had seen him in an emotional state, but this was the complete opposite; all emotions were locked away and kept under control. There just didn't seem to be anything left. No weakness, no boyishness, and no awkwardness. It seemed that he finally was someone in control, at least it looked like it.

He looked like a man unwise to cross, a man without emotions to distract him. He looked so strong and so very cold, cold to the core.

Then he walked in sure strides towards the door, his long, elegant robes billowing at his heels as he reached for the door handle and opened the entrance to... a class room?

Stunned, Lily looked at all the small, eleven year old students out there looking in awe at Severus, all with their parchments and books ready, anxious to hear whatever Severus had to say.

Lily couldn't help but be incredibly fascinated by all of this, and she actually chose to take a seat beside one of the eleven year olds, just to see what Severus was going to do now. He started out very simple, with a mere roll call. Until he suddenly stopped.

"Ah yes." Severus whispered in a smooth voice, "Harry Potter. Our new... _celebrity."_

Shocked, Lily followed Sev's gaze, and she now realized that she had placed herself beside a little James copy. Lily gaped at the boy and saw her own emerald green eyes looking up at Sev's black ones, not disrespecting or anything, but rather intimidated as the boy swallowed. Lily's heart melted at the sight of him, and she bit her lip, so badly wanting to reach out and touch the boy. Instead, however, she tried to listen as Severus lectured.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making," he began. He spoke in hardly a whisper, and yet every word cut through. Lily could only marvel at how silent the class could be under his presence, without any effort from Sev... Well, other than him looming about as an intimidating bat. "As there is little foolish wand waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses…"

He really must have been bored to come up with a speech like that. And what was with him? He was so uptight and strict, she could already tell. She sighed, listening further to Sev's speech. "He really just needs a woman to get rid of that tension." She mussed making mental notes of how to offer him the outlets so obviously needed.

"I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

Lily sniggered into her hand. "Oh yeah, go ahead and intimidate the kids from day one, that won't come back and bite you later." she rolled her eyes as she chuckled lightly. "Man, you sound like a self important Pete, Sev," she chuckled to herself. Lily's gaze fell on Harry, who exchanged looks with a red-haired boy beside him. She smiled lightly at the boy as her heart seemed to melt all over again. What a cute kid. She sighed as she leaned her head against her hand, just looking at the eleven year old.

"POTTER!" Severus's voice cut in, making both Lily and Harry jump in their seats. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

Lily blinked wildly. What kind of a stupid question was that to ask to a first year? _Honestly?_

Harry just sat there looking confused as he exchanged another look with the redhead, then shrugged. "I don't know, sir." he at last responded.

Snape's lips curled into a sneer. "Tut, tut — fame clearly isn't everything." He sneered.

Lily just blinked rapidly as she saw what was unfolding. Before suddenly she realized and slammed her fist into her palm in realisation; Severus had just been so happy the half year they had been together that Lily had forgotten.

Him sneering and being grumpy like this was his defence. Whenever Sev felt insecure and on thin ice, he would do anything not to show it. If there was something Sev would never ever want to do, it was to appear vulnerable, so he would sneer and insult an outlet. Nothing new about that, that was exactly how she had been testing him when she had been insecure about his identity shortly after the lake incident.

This kid... Harry Potter made Severus ridiculously insecure, thus this irrational behaviour... was it guilt? Or something else? In either case, it was rather amusing.

"Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

Lily couldn't help it, it was so ridiculous, she felt so bad for Harry and couldn't take the grown up, dangerous Snape seriously, so she chuckled. There was such a big problem with this plans of Sev's; she knew him too well. She was the only one who knew him that well.

"I don't know, sir," was the only thing that poor Harry was able to respond once again.

"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?"

And Lily burst out in laughter again. This was supposed to make her angry? All it proved was that Severus was a brilliant potion brewer, but a lousy teacher and that he still didn't know how to handle pressure. He was still just as awkward that way, just way better at covering it up. If she hadn't known Severus so well, the plan probably would have worked and made her cranky, but this was too funny.

Somehow Lily didn't doubt that this grumpy, old Severus wasn't above smashing Harry's potion samples and give Harry a zero for it, despite how tall and dignified he now appeared with his smooth voice and strong body language. There were just some ways people never changed, Lily supposed. And in the end, it was nice to still see the signs of her own insecure Sev.

Harry, however, was clearly intimidated and he hesitated. "I don't know, sir, but I think Hermione does. Why don't you ask her?" he asked, hinting at the girl who was almost falling out of her chair with her hand in the air.

Lily sighed, resting on her arms as she watched the boy look at Severus and the board in return. "Hey, Harry." She whispered. "I know you can't hear me, but I just wanted you to know that I'm so glad I got to see you like this. I hope Sev will show me how you turned out as well... You're so gorgeous!" She told. "Way better looking than James, anyway. I'm so proud of how you turned out."

At last, it all started to swirl again, and Lily was stolen away from her son.

Now, Severus cornered a man Lily didn't know. It was an older man with a long black beard who was clearly frightened of Severus. His gray eyes were widened in fear as he looked into Severus's black orbs, and Severus' cold eyes were now burning with anger and passion. He was, without a doubt, very dangerous now.

"Don't deny it, Karkaroff." Severus sneered.

"I don't know what you are talking about." The Karkaroff person swallowed, pressing himself against the wall, only for Severus to reach out and grab Karkaroff's arm, forcing it forward. He dragged the sleeve away to reveal the black mark.

"He is back..."

"NO!" Karkaroff exclaimed, fighting to get his arm back and out of Severus grip. "He can't be! He died! Thirteen years Severus! He's been dead for that long."

"So you deny the proof?" Severus sneered, at last letting go of the arm. "Stop being such a bloody coward and _do _something to stop it."

Karkaroff swallowed. "If he is really on the way back, we shouldn't fight him. No one defies the dark lord."

"You are a coward." Severus hissed. "And if I discover that you are in any way involved in the targeting of Potter and the disappearance of Crouch,_" _Severus held up his wand threateningly. "You'll pay very dearly." He sneered, and it was obvious that this was no empty threat.

Karkaroff stared wide eyed at Severus. "You wouldn't." he stated.

Severus merely lifted an eyebrow. "I've done way worse than that before." He stated in a very lazy voice, just in time for the dungeon scenery to twirl around and change again.

Severus stood in what looked like someone's office, lazily looking at a young man who was drooling in his seat. His pale blue eyes bulged and looked quite... empty in some way, as if he weren't seeing.

Severus, however, merely looked dully at him. A silver doe was prancing around the office, and Lily glanced outside to discover the dementors the doe was keeping away.

A silver, spectacled cat leapt in and Severus cancelled his patronus the moment before McGonagall stepped in, almost as if he didn't want McGonagall to see it.

"Is it true?" McGonagall asked. "Is he?"

"Kissed?" Severus responded. "From what I saw, yes."

"I'm going to kill Fudge." McGonagall gritted. "Personally."

"The man is a weak coward." Severus snorted. "He'll get what's coming to him soon enough. He won't be able to handle the pressure." He stated in a very matter of a fact voice as his black eyes wandered to McGonagall, then to rest of her. Even though the rest of Severus looked so lackadaisical, his eyes were sharp and serious, filled with anticipation. It was as if he were preparing for a battle.

"And..." McGonagall hesitated. "He is back?"

He didn't notice it happened at all, but Severus' left hand reached for his right arm and tightened around the place where the mark would be. Severus nodded seriously. "Potter told the truth, at last, after all these years. The dark lord has returned."

Lily looked sadly at the scene, somewhat understanding, but not really. She looked at the young man in the chair, the poor man who had been kissed. He looked somewhat familiar.

"What do the ministry wants us to do with Crouch now anyway?" McGonagall asked, slightly disgusted. "Are they just going to leave him here?"

Severus shrugged. "We already established that the officials who handled this operation are all cowards." He commented still sounding so lazy. "They'll probably just dump Crouch off to rot somewhere."

Crouch? An adult version of Barty Crouch Jr? Lily looked at the man. So he really did have it in him to become a death eater... and yet, he looked terrible, and the madness didn't just lurk in the shadow of his eye, it dominated his entire appearance. There was nothing left of the boy from school.

"Minerva." Dumbledore entered the room, looking grim and angry. "I need a word with Severus, could you excuse us?" he asked.

McGonagall nodded. "Of course, Albus. I'll be downstairs, trying to deal with the reporters." She informed, walking out.

"Severus." Dumbledore looked at Sev. "You must go to him."

Sev's mouth tightened, as did the hand that was gripping his scarred arm. "You are asking me to reassume my position as spy?" he asked in a bitter voice.

"You must." Dumbledore told. "You know that as well as I do. He can kill you through that." Dumbledore gestured at the mark. "And if you don't show up, he most certainly will. He'll kill everyone who doesn't come, and I'm afraid poor Karkaroff will never make it that far when he chooses to run. You are not going to run… Are you?" Dumbledore asked as if it were of mild interest as his piercing blue eyes met Severus's.

"No." Severus answered. "Of course I won't."

"Then go." Dumbledore gestured. "And hurry."

"No need to be so pushy." Severus snapped as he walked past Dumbledore towards the door. "One might think you _want _me to be in such mortal danger." He drawled.

Lily could feel the ice creep up her back as the scenery changed and Severus stood face to face with... no, that couldn't be Voldemort! Or perhaps his outsides finally matched the ghastly, ripped to pieces soul.

The man Severus was facing looked more reptile than man, with a white bony head, no nose, and red, reptilian eyes. "You're late." Voldemort commented in a lazy tone. The same great snake that Penelope had killed rested on his shoulders.

"My deepest apologies, my lord." Severus elegantly bowed his head as he gestured with his hand. "It was a hard wait, but I must say, seeing the dark lord and feeling his power once more, it's... well worth it."

"Hm, interesting." Voldemort commented as he walked around Severus, taking him in. "So many who return to me now have declined in the past decade, have turned even more pathetic than they were before. But that young boy I remember, he came back as a man, it seems... but can I trust him? He's become a smoother talker, very smooth." He stood in front of Severus again. "Though still one who has not explained himself."

Severus smirked. "Let me speak out my lord, and I'm sure you'll be pleased." He told. "With my few hours of waiting, I have bought something very valuable, something I think you'll like." He smiled evilly. "Dumbledore's trust; the old fool thinks I am here at his command, as his personal spy." Severus smile turned even wider. "What he does not know is how I feel, that I always craved the dark lord's power. Those speeches of righteousness the old man spits out do nothing but fuel the fire for me."

"A smooth talker and a plotter." Voldemort commented. "The years have done you well, Severus. You don't even shake in my presence, but is that real? A servant with a backbone?" Voldemort glanced at all of the other simpering death eaters around him.

Severus was still smiling. "I know more of the world now. And I trust the dark lord, trust more in the dark lords vision than ever, know what he needs and how true he is, truer than those foolish ministry people or the filthy muggles."

"How convenient." Voldemort nodded. "You're telling me all that which I would like to hear. I have to inform you, Severus, that these pathetic clowns tried the same thing," He gestured at the death-eaters collected around him, "Although none of them were as smooth as you. So tell me what makes you so different. You didn't come look for me, or keep fighting my cause. You lived in Dumbledore's protection for all of this time. How can I trust you?" he asked coming close to Severus's face.

Severus looked right back at Voldemort. "You can't," he admitted at last.

Voldemort chuckled. "I can't?" he asked and turned to the others. "The only one in this entire dammed circle who admits it, who tells the truth, is Severus. And that's the truth! Why should I keep any of you?" he moved back to Severus, his red eyes almost looking almost hungry as they looked over his face. "Why? He asked.

"All I can give you is my word." Severus said with a slight nod. "And beg of you for just one chance to prove myself once more. I can give you information, be the spy by Dumbledore's side. That, at least, is way more than they have to offer." He glanced at the rest of the death eaters. "And that is my welcome home gift to you, the opportunity to get all the information we need and more, my lord." He bowed elegantly with that last word, a faint smile gracing his lips before he, in one single, smooth movement, rose again to stand at full height in front of Voldemort. That faint smile was still on his lips as he looked at Voldemort without wavering and without trembling.

"I must admit that I'm impressed." Voldemort almost laughed as he took Severus in, circled around him, as a man viewing a price trophy. "You're the only one here who's earned your chance, now use it well."

Severus's lip curled into a real smile. "Yes, my lord." He told.

Lily looked confusedly at them. "Wait, Sev." She frowned, rubbing her temples with her hands. "What of that was true?" she asked the images. "I'm a tad bit confused here." She said honestly as the image changed.

And then she sat by a table in a warm looking room, right beside Severus. Many people were sitting with them, kind of an odd bunch. There was a very nice looking, chubby, red-haired lady sitting beside a balding ginger man. There was McGonagall, at least one person Lily recognized, and Dumbledore too.

"It's too damn convenient!" A man with an obviously gaunt face hidden well behind a long, tangled, black hair and a beard hammered his fist down on the table. "He's just telling us what we want to hear!" the man accused, pointing a crooked finger at Severus.

"Calm down, Sirius." A shabby looking man next to the first one placed a hand on his shoulder.

Wait? Sirius? Seriously? Lily asked herself and looked at the gaunt man. What the heck had happened to him? Lily could have sworn Sirius was one of those people who would always look good, no matter what. Even as an eighty year old, he would still be a silver fox and a lady killer... but this man... this man looked ill, like life had been sucked out of him.

Looking closer at him, she saw that he still had the same eyes, and somewhat the same facial structure, but that was it. His skin was tight and a little yellowish and hung weirdly on him as if he was malnourished for years and hadn't gotten a ray of sunlight for even longer, his teeth were actually downright yellow, rotten, and used, and there were permanent bags under his bloodshot eyes. He just looked as though the life itself had been drained from him painfully. On top of that, he looked angry and there was something off about his posture and his eyes. "Moony, you've got to admit that there's a lot to question here." Sirius replied so Lily could ascertain that his voice, too, was very changed, rough, and animalistic. He was hoarse, like he hadn't spoken in years.

Lily's eyes turned to Remus next, and she was a lot less surprised to see his shabby state. She already knew it was the only way to go for him, but she was happy to see that unlike Sirius, who seemed to have grown bitter and a lot less appealing, Remus looked just as homely and nice. The air around him was the same secure and relaxed aura as before. His brown eyes were still just as caring, though his sandy brown hair was graying a lot. Actually, it was equally gray and sandy brown, his robes were, of course, very shabby, and he was thin. But he looked well, all things considered. "Sirius, if we question every little detail, we would never get anywhere. We'll just have to trust Severus." He said surely. "And I, for one, do." He said firmly, sending Severus a look.

"Let the mutt think what he will." Severus shrugged. "Just let me do my job, and stay out of the way."

"_Your job_," Sirius sneered, looking so much like a snob, "Is to protect _Harry_! Are you doing that, huh? Do you think I don't know that you would love to have him killed? I swear, if you touch a hair on my godson's head at those occluding lessons, I'll swear that I'll—."

Lily looked up at Severus, kill Harry? But… this was so confusing! She massaged her temples with her hands, trying to draw just a little bit of sense from all of this.

"Do what?" Severus asked with a lifted eyebrow. "Run outside as the mutt you are and get caught in the first ten minutes, sent back to Azkaban, or better yet, killed by the dark lord before you can do anything to stop me?" He asked with a smirk. "That's a laugh."

"We can't trust him!" Sirius stated sourly, eyes pleading with Dumbledore. "There's no way we can trust him."

Dumbledore's piercing eyes found Sirius's and put him in his place. "That is not for you to decide." Dumbledore stated. "_I _trust him with my _life_, and that should be good enough for you."

Well that was at least something, Lily had to admit. That Dumbledore stated loudly that he trusted Sev with his life, which was an incredible statement to say the least, and Lily couldn't help but wonder what Sev could have done to make himself worthy for such great trust.

The picture dissolved again, and out of all places... Lily stood on top of the astronomy tower in the middle of the night. Confused, she looked around and noticed that there were more people than she had ever seen up here. There was a young blonde boy, Bellatrix, Fenrir Grayback, Severus, and other death eaters, all facing Dumbledore. And Severus' face was just twisted in sheer hatred, and now, more than ever, he looked like a scary, hellish creature. Lily couldn't help but whimper at the sight, and for the first time, she was genuinely scared of him. He stood there with his cloak billowing in the wind, his eyes transfixed head at one specific point. This was not Sev… this was Snape, the dangerous spy, death eater, and master of the dark arts, and heaven help whomever he sent all of that anger towards.

Slowly, Lily turned her head to witness what Sev was looking at, what could possible earn so much spite from him, and then she gasped. "Dumbledore!"

The old headmaster stood there, facing all of the death eaters, his wand a good way in front of him, and thus wand less. He was completely defenseless as he faced all of the death eaters, with nothing but a long free fall behind him. Dumbledore's eyes were wet and full of sadness as they locked onto Severus' furious ones. "Severus." Dumbledore spoke in a defeated old and broken voice. "Please." He whispered sounding both pathetic and pleading, and for the first time, Lily saw Dumbledore for his true, very old age.

And Snape took a step forward, drawing his wand. "Avada Kedavra!" a jet of green light zoomed towards Dumbledore and blasted the old man away from the tower.

"_NO_!" Lily screamed and rushed past them all as if she could somehow save the head master by being there, but she only succeeded in seeing the shadow of a dead body crash against the ground so far below that it looked like nothing more than an insect. Lily's head whipped around and her eyes filled with tears as she looked at Severus. "SEV! I don't understand!" she yelled up at him. "This doesn't make any sense! You're only showing me half of the picture!"

But Severus was already on his way out. He grabbed that young blond boy, but the picture didn't change. Instead, Lily was forced to follow. She had to run with all of the death eaters at Severus' tail as he dragged the teenager with him. "You fool." Severus hissed to the boy.

"I'm… I'm sorry." The young boy stammered.

"As if that's going to cut it," Severus sneered, dragging him along.

"HAHAHA!" Bellatrix almost sang as she skipped across them. "We killed Dumbledore, we killed Dumbledore! WHOPIII!" she yelled, happily smashing a couple of windows on the run, just for the sake of it.

Lily widened her eyes as figures came into sight in front of them. There was a fight going on!

The older Remus stepped forward and aimed a stunner straight at Fenrir Greyback. Stunners and other spells were flying everywhere, and people ramming into the ground or flying unto the air.

But Severus, he just kept going with the young boy, pushing himself through the fight as if he didn't even notice that deadly spells were flying everywhere.

"Severus, what's—?" McGonagall barely managed to ask as she saw him, only to be caught short as Severus drew his wand and threw a stunner at the old professor, sending her straight into the wall. She collapsed to the floor without another word.

Lily gasped in shock at the sight, but again, Severus didn't even seem to notice; he just continued right past her as if nothing had happened.

Lily didn't know how, but suddenly they were all outside. Right behind her was Hagrid's hut… up in flames. Death eaters were fighting Hagrid, the gentle half giant.

"STUPEFY!" a red beam flew towards Severus and the boy and Severus just managed to dodge as he let go of the boy.

"Run, Draco!" he demanded of the blond, pushing the boy, and the kid didn't need to be told twice before he started running.

Lily's eyes turned to the attacker, and immediately, without a second's hesitation, she recognized a grownup Harry. His green eyes, round glasses, shy, sincere face, and his messy hair all stood out to her as only a mother could recognize in a child. But he looked so angry and so hurt. And he only threw hexes at Severus.

But Severus deflected each and every one of them.

"Cruc—."

Lily gasped. Harry had tried to use Crucio! She covered her mouth with her hands as she witnessed what was going on.

"Sectum —!"

Severus flicked his wand and the curse was repelled yet again; Harry came closer every time, his green eyes burning in such anger. Lily genuinely felt scared and wanted to break down in tears because of all of the confusion.

"Levi—!"

"No, Potter!" screamed Severus.

There was a loud BANG and Harry was soaring backward, hitting the ground, hard. This time, his wand flew out of his hand. Lily could hear Hagrid yelling and Fang howling as Severus closed in and looked down on Harry where he lay, wand less and defenseless as Dumbledore had been. Severus's pale face, illuminated by the flaming cabin, was suffused with hatred, just as it had been before he had cursed Dumbledore.

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them — I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don't think so… no!"

Harry dived for his wand; Severus shot a hex at it and it flew meters away into the darkness and out of sight.

"Kill me, then," panted Harry, who didn't look scared over his potential demise, but rather consumed with rage and contempt, all directed firmly at Severus. "Kill me like you killed him, you coward —"

"DON'T —" screamed Severus, and his face was suddenly demented, inhuman, as though he were in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog stuck in the burning house behind them. "CALL ME COWARD!" And Severus swung his wand once more, actually hitting Harry with sectumsempra sending Harry spiraling backwards.

"NO!" Lily screamed running forwards without thinking as she stretched her arms forward, as if she thought she could reach out or somehow touch the scenery. "STOP IT! PLEASE, STOP IT!" she lounged for Severus but fell through him, as he was nothing but a memory. He was a demented and inhuman memory that was irreversible and so far from her.

Then, suddenly, a big hippogriff charged and attacked Severus, its claws and sharp beak burring down in his flesh and trying to scratch him to death. "Stupid creature," Severus hissed, sending a massive stunner at the thing and barely managing to send it away. It screeched and Severus shooed it until, at last, the huge hippogriff flew off. Severus stood there, starkly breathing as he looked down on the unconscious Harry laying there. Then, his raven black eyes moved to the castle where all the loud noises were escaping. Lily could see the castle reflected in his eyes, but his expression didn't give anything away other than a stern, almost fierce, frown. He offered Harry one last glance with his hateful eyes before turning around and wandering out of the Hogwarts port, and then... then everything swirled around.

"What! No!" Lily yelled. "I've got to know what happened! What's going on? DAMMIT!" she yelled in frustration as she sat at a table surrounded by death eaters. Voldemort himself was sitting high and mighty by the table's end. Lily swallowed. Some unfortunate soul was suspended in mid air among them. "Oh, swell." Lily swallowed. "I'm forced to watch another victimization." she realized, looking to her right at Severus, looking as emotionally and cold as Lily had come to expect. "How many memories of these have you got?" she asked as she pressed her eyes together, trying to suppress the bitter tears. "Do they ever end?" she asked.

And then it actually became worse.

"Severus." the poor woman spoke. "Please, we are friends! Help me. Help!"

Lily looked away as the big, fat snake devoured the poor woman alive. She was just not able to look anymore, and then her eyes fell upon Severus, and he looked… his eyes were transfixed on the scene in front of him, never leaving for a moment. Lily didn't know why.

The room was now empty, but it was the same marble table, the same chairs. Now, only Voldemort and Severus remained. "Indeed, you have proven yourself to be most loyal." Voldemort smiled. "A far better servant than any other present. Instead of turning cowardly and pathetic, you just grow stronger and cleverer, that is your asset, Severus."

"Thank you, my lord." Severus bowed his head. "That is indeed a great honour."

"Hogwarts will need a new headmaster." Voldemort noted. "Someone I can trust impeccably, that is the most important thing. Someone who is neither stupid, nor a coward. Someone who knows how to handle it, someone who has experience on the field." Voldemort stated. "Personally, I think it's the easiest choice I've ever had to make."

Severus bowed his head ones again. "I'm honoured." He said.

"Hogwarts, the greatest place in the wizarding world, and my most trusted servant as its headmaster." Voldemort smiled. "All mine." He grinned. "I trust you know what must be done."

"The mudbloods must be punished." Severus shrugged. "Those who are dim enough to enter school grounds shall be delivered, of course. And a pureblood who does not acknowledge the grandeur of Slytherin and the power of the Dark lord must either be learned or punished." He then stated as if it was the biggest 'duh, of course' thing in the 'verse.

Lily still didn't know what to think. She was too shocked, too overwhelmed... and so little made sense to her. She could fell the head ache crawling its way up to her head. She sat down on the chair, rubbing her aching head, trying to keep back the unfathomable tears.

When she looked up, she was at the headmaster's office at Hogwarts. Severus was sitting on the chair like it was a throne, resting his chin on his folded hands. His eyes were closed, as if he were the most carefree person in the world.

Lily looked hopelessly at him. "What are you thinking right now?" she asked the memory. "You know, showing me these pieces of your memory is not what I would… I don't know." She sniffed and had to dry her eyes with her sleeve. "I knew you were only going to show me you in your worst, but I could never have imagined." She sniffed. "I hate you, Sev..." She looked at him. He looked so terribly gaunt and absolutely exhausted with his greasy hair falling down his unnaturally pale face, and there were deep, dark shadows under his eyes. His cheeks sunk in and his eyes hollowed. It was not a nice sight, but the silence of this memory was more than welcome for Lily. "I hate you so much." She whispered, defeated.

Lily closed her eyes, and one of her own memories flashed before her.

At the lake, the previous summer, Severus sat in front of her, his eyes pleading with her to understand. It seemed like he was desperate, like he was begging as he talked. "I'm a dark wizard Lily," he had stated. "As dark as they come, I do practice dark magic and perhaps even understand it better than anyone else alive, and I do have blood on my hands." He held out his hands with the palms upwards, as if the blood were real, looking so vulnerable at the exact moment. "I've done terrible things."

Lily opened her eyes and looked at the older Severus, who was still resting, and then... after an entire one and a half years, did she begin to understand the meaning of those words. And… also, she got a vague idea what he truly had wanted from her. It was not companion ship, not attention… not even love... It was something else entirely. But was she able to give it?

Lily closed her eyes again, trying to remember more of their conversation back then. It looked so much more important now, more than ever. She had… she had asked him if he would ever kill someone. And his answer...

_"In my last sixteen years I only saw those die that I couldn't save, but if I had to, I could most definitely kill. I stepped over this line long ago."_

Lily opened her eyes, and that translated to… I've seen plenty of dead people. Lily should have hit herself; she felt so dumb for her answers back then. Now, when she had seen death for herself, up close, it was just not the same anymore. It was far more terrible than she could have ever imagined. But how did any of this even start to fit together at all?

"You called for me?"

Lily's head snapped around and she saw McGonagall standing their, glaring daggers in Severus's direction.

Severus opened his eyes and looked just as coldly back at McGonagall. "Potter." he simply stated.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "What about him?" she asked.

"Recently, I acquired new information that you might have an idea of his whereabouts."

"You mean your death eater friends thought they got information." McGonagall rolled her eyes in a rather impatient way. "And you should know that is a dim question, first of no, I have no idea at all, secondly, if I did, I would never help you to kill Potter. I happen to be fond of him." she looked madly at him. "But now I have you, those crucios on the students got to stop!"

Severus shrugged. "Why?" he asked. "It's only used on those who oppose the dark lord."

Lily's eyes widened. "You've _got _to be kidding." she stated, and worst of all, Severus didn't seemed moved at all.

McGonagall, however, looked beyond disgusted. "Say something to the twins, anything."

"Why?" Severus asked again as if McGonagall was being dull and dim. "It's working fine enough, isn't it?"

"Wo-working fine?" McGonagall hissed. "The students are getting hurt! Badly! A second year was nearly dying because of a mixture of to much crucios and physical beating! _She was twelve!" _

"So?" Severus asked, sounding really bored by this conversation. "It already happened, not much I can do about it."

And Lily really felt like beating him up at that very moment; he was way too smug for her.

"And if you continue this, I will have you escorted out." Severus stated firmly. "All I really needed was your statement that you don't know of Potters whereabouts."

"How would I know?" McGonagall asked annoyed. "Very well _headmaster." _she hissed. "I will leave you alone, then." she said and rose just as the picture was dissolving again.

"NO!" Lily stopped it. "No more! No more half pictures! SEV! STOP!" she yelled with all of her might! And surprisingly... it did. The whole scenario just stopped, as if frozen. Surprised, Lily looked at it all, at Sev and McGonagall standing completely still, not as much as a hair moving. To Lily's left, a fly was hanging in the mid-flight, the portraits of all of the headmasters looked kind of like ordinary muggle paintings, and no sounds could be heard in the room. Never before had Lily experienced something this quiet.

"Of course." Lily whispered. "It's a pensive, you control it with your mind." and then she sniffed, unable to hold it back. She was too overwhelmed. "I don't understand! Not any of this!" she hissed, once again drying away the tears from her eyes. "What can I do to understand?" She asked bitterly.

And then saw the older Severus, just sitting there looking coldly at McGonagall. Without thinking Lily went over to him, and grabbed his head with her hands. Surprisingly, it was tangible.

Then she started digging, digging with her mind. Everything around her swirled around, dissolving into white and gray. Then they were falling downwards, into darkness. Lily was clawing her way through with all of her might. "I MUST KNOW!" she yelled. "I MUST SEE!" she exclaimed and kept on clawing, downwards and downwards. She was drowning, unable to breath, unable to see.

She felt a stabbing pain in her chest and her heart, emotions overwhelming her, so strong that she had never experienced it before. The anger, the sorrow, the passion, slamming towards her soul and mind.

She finally opened her eyes... or were they... his eyes? She looked through black eyes and a black curtain of hair down at slick fingers tapping the desk.

She had broken down the viewing barriers, which were placed to shield the watcher from the emotions and experiences only the memory barer can access. She experienced the memories in the only true way to go through a memory:

From the point of view of the memory holder.

What Lily couldn't have counted on, though, was all of the unfamiliar thoughts in her head, which swirled around and were hurting her so much. The piercing pain which never seized, just intensified more and more. It had all ready been unbearable to begin with but now... combined with all that was going on in Lily's head that she couldn't control, it completely overwhelmed her. Lily screamed in agony as so many things flashed before her mind, so many thoughts, so many emotions, so many memories, and she could only scream! Scream and scream... until, at last, everything grew completely black and Lily was pulled backwards, it felt like it went so quick that the air was forced out of her lungs and before she knew it, she was gasping for air. Back in the real world.

"LILY!" James shouted shaking her shoulders. "Lily talk to me!" he demanded.

Lily barely managed to notice that she was back in the real world, not before everything turned black again and she passed out, unconscious.

Lily had a difficult time piecing together where she was now. It was so... pleasant; sun rays were hitting her skin, summer air whistled above her. In this realm everything was good. Lily's eyes fluttered and as she opened them she saw a blue sky, right above her a tree. Lily knew this tree, it was the one from home, the one by the lake side, the place where Sev and she... Lily blinked rapidly and sat up to look down at her and Sev's spot... and down there sat a little boy, about the age of eight or nine, with raven black hair and clothes way to big for him, patched together over and over, falling down his thin pale, skinny shoulders and held together by a far to big belt wrapped three times around the little scrawny body.

Slowly the boy turned his head so suddenly the pale face became visible behind the tangled messy black hair and the black eyes meet Lily's. "What have you done?" the little boy asked in a grave serious tone, which was even more chilling as the voice was that of a little boys as well, as he looked beyond shocked at Lily.

Lily looked at him. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Am I dreaming?"

"Yes." The boy answered still just sitting there with a turned head.

"Then... this isn't real." Lily frowned. "This isn't another memory."

"No… or… er..." the boy squinted his face, wringing it so it looked almost comically funny. "It's really, really complicated!" he exclaimed, spreading out his arms, finally turning all the way around so Lily could see his skinny frame and the heavy old clothes. "But it's your fault!" he accused pointing at her his pitch black eyes filled with both fear and anxiety as he spoke.

"Who are you?" Lily asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" the boy asked as he looked at her with huge eyes, dropping down on his knees and hands to crawl two steps forward. "Look closely please! You have to know me! I can't bear it if you don't know me!" He told in a croaked voice. "I'm Sev!"

"I... I can see that." Lily breathed. "Sev." She whispered and at last the boy could relax as he fell down on the grass on his stomach, sighing relieved. "But." Lily sat up collecting her knees in her arms looking mystified at the little boy. "Why are you so little then? Sev sees himself as an old person, not fair to himself, but he does."

"Lily, you dug far down, too far, all the way down to the core, when you dig so far into peoples mind you do arrive at their truth self, which has nothing to do with how they perceive themselves or want to look, it's just what they are and it usually looks something like this." Sev explained as he stood up and started to jump forward on one leg, balancing with his arms spread out. "Funny, isn't it?" he asked as if he found it genuinely amusing. "We are all children inside, at some level." He made another three jumps before landing on both his feet and jumping once more to turn around, and started jumping back.

"So, are we in my or your head?" Lily asked.

"Yours, you were pulled out of the pensive remember?" Sev asked while still jumping. "This is your special place that _you _conjured up. I'm a part of you now, and before you ask, no, there is no way to reverse it." He told skipping ones more and then stood still, slowly his head raising and his black eyes looked sadly at her "What you did, it's irreversible." He told in a slightly nervous voice covered up in a smile that wanted to be irresistible and charming, all though it was far too nervous, as if he were afraid her rejection.

"If this is the outcome, I don't want to reverse anything." Lily told honestly, looking a little embarrassed. "I got to see you, didn't I?" she asked in a defeated smile.

"Really?" Sev asked sounding genuinely surprised, a smile spread on his face. "Oh that's great, but what you did is actually pretty terrible." He sighed falling backwards and down on his back on the grass with his arms spread out looking up in the sky.

"But I did nothing wrong." Lily exclaimed.

"You broke the guaranteed rule of a mind's privacy. Not even the most evil wizards have ever done anything like this." Sev told rolling onto his stomach and looked up at her. "But then, again evil people can't really do that without being in crucifying pain, or so Dumbledore thinks.,." Sev mussed leaning his head in his hands, resting his elbows on the grass. "You not only saw my memories... you went even further, you… you felt what I feel." He barely whispered.

"You're... mad at me for doing that?" Lily asked.

"I'm not really Sev, you know." The little boy answered. "I'm just a representation of his truest, most inner self, now a part of your mind forever, the real Sev will probably be pretty grumpy and sour; he is an old git, you know." He stated wisely, making Lily chuckle with his bluntness. "I, however, am glad." He told in a smile, picking up a little white flower sniffing to it. "I'm the little part inside of Severus who can't help but be happy to no longer be alone in knowing what it feels like. I'm that small part in him that just won't go away no matter what he tries. Well, I guess you could say I am what put the '_Sev' _into '_Severus Snape'_."

He chuckled, dropping the flower, and then he looked at Lily, no longer laughing. Instead, he looked very small as he looked up at Lily. "Even though he locks me away, far away." He whispered. The wind caught his patched up clothes and he had to collect the over sized coat not to freeze as he very silently whispered. "I'm so lonely." His pitch black eyes which looked at her suddenly started to become wet as he spoke in a more broken voice. "I feel like crying when you're not here." He looked down and closed his eyes, obviously trying to force back the tears, but they just kept sipping through, to Sev's obvious annoyance. "I'm not a crybaby, you know!" he exclaimed wiping his eyes.

Lily's heart absolutely melted by the sight. "I know you're not a crybaby." She assured. "You're very brave." She told surely.

"I've fended off dementors and lied to the dark lord himself, I've fought against all those death eaters and been alone while I did it! I did it by myself! Because… because I had to! Somebody had to and I was the only one who could! Me, all alone me.. So really, I'm not a crybaby." Sev exclaimed once more, still drying his dripping eyes with his sleeve. "Is it okay if I sit beside you?" he then asked very nervously, looking pleadingly at her.

Amused Lily smiled at him and then opened her arms wide as a sure invitation. "Sure."

At once, Sev scrambled to his feet and almost tripped in his haste to reach her before he sat down beside her and leaned against Lily, smiling as she embraced the little boy. "We are going to be together forever now." He told. "That makes me happy, and then I don't feel like crying all the time."

"Aww." Lily couldn't help but say as she drew the eight year old even closer. "Why, you are nothing but a bundle of nerves, aren't you?" she asked, noticing how he was shaking in her arms as she drew him closer. "What? You were afraid I was going to send you away?" she asked.

Sev blushed deeply, not answering as he looked down. "You did once before." He told.

"Back then, you didn't leave me any choice." Lily told sadly as she herself tried not to cry. "I am very sorry though, I am sorry it had to be that way, I wish I knew what I could do to... to..." She didn't even know what to say. "How can anyone have such strong emotions and look so cold?" Lily asked rocking the little child. "When I saw you sometimes, you had even me fooled, but I've never tried anything like it, when I felt what... what you do. There's so much, hate, bitterness, sorrow… and love, and yet it feels like it's the same emotion… And he... I don't understand."

"I didn't even know he had more emotions than other people." Sev shrugged as his head leaned against Lily. "For all I know, he is a old, sour grumpy git." He chuckled. "But then again, he does need to use that occlumency to not be distracted by his own emotions, so I suppose they rule him pretty much all of the time."

"They are way stronger than anything I have ever felt." Lily assured. "And his head, is it ever silent? He was thinking about at least a thousand things on the same time, it's like a constant swarm flying around in there beneath his skull."

"No it's never silent." Sev admitted. "He always thinks; it makes it easy for him to lock me far away." The boy rolled his eyes.

"Typical." Lily murmured.

"Absolutely." Sev nodded in a grin. "Though I'd be careful if I were you, now when you've done… you know what… it's likely you end up dreaming his dreams to, and those are not nice." Sev shuddered. "Those aren't nice at all. You could, of course, learn to occlude to stop dreaming his dreams, but then again, you would be a lousy occlumins."

"What?" Lily looked down at the little one. "Says who?"

"Severus." Sev answered. "You're too head strong and too... what did he call it..? In the moment, too captured by the little details you happen to be in instead of viewing the larger picture, that's why you can't beat him at chess."

"Well then, it's a good thing I don't _want_ to occlude." Lily pouted still holding the little boy close to her.

Then he turned silent… and then a little embarrassed he looked away.

Lily blinked. "What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing." Sev responded looking away, though blushing deeply.

"Come on, there is something." Lily chuckled. "I can tell there is."

"What..." Sev hesitated. "What do you really think about me?" he asked sincerely.

"Don't you know?" Lily asked surprised.

"Won't you say it?" Sev asked looking pleading at her. "Please, just once, you only said it to me once before and then it was all wrong... I just want to hear it right... just this one time... please. I promise if I can just hear it, I won't ask anything from you ever again."

Lily couldn't help but smile as she bowed down and kissed the little boy on the forehead. "Don't worry, you can ask of me what you want, whenever you want." She told before she bowed down and whispered in his ear. "I love you dearest Sev." She whispered in his ear.

And Sev lit up in a great smile, a tear escaping his eyes, not out of loneliness, but happiness as he snuggled closer into Lily's embrace. He grabbed her shirt and held close as a tear escaped his eye. "Why?" he then asked. "How can you love me? You've done some pretty stupid things just for… why? When I am being such am old, arrogant, greasy git."

"Sev." Lily breathed as she slipped a hand through his raven dark hair. "I love you, because I know that even though things have been so hard and so unfair towards you, you'll still always do what you feel is right in the end. You did something very wrong, but you did your best to make it good again, it is just too bad it was too late then, but you continued regardless, doing what you felt was right. You may be stubborn and not care what people think about you so you'll find that a good excuse to be rude. Sometimes it's very genuine you don't care what other people feel or think. But I know that you do what you do because you feel it's the right thing to do, because it has to be done, even when it's hard." She sighed resting her chin on his head. "You are not always right but you still do it because you feel it's the right thing not because you'll get any-thing out of it, and I also know, no matter what, even now when you are away, you will always be there to protect me, even from myself." She kissed him on top of his hair as she spoke. "That's who you truly are my love, the great protector, we just didn't know at first. You didn't know at first, so you were confused. Not out in the battlefield to collect glory or names, but back protecting what is most important, with all of his might even if it's not the most shiny of tasks, it's so much more important than all that other stuff, it's inspiring." She held him close. "You are a slave to your heart, and your emotions, and those are very strong. Sadly you had to learn about the value of life the hard way, but done is done, and you did learn." She told sadly. "So no dearest Sev, love, it's not about how I can love you, it's about how can I not love you?" she asked. "I just want to be here for you, all I need from you is to let me."

"I won't ever be good though." Severus told. "I won't ever be a champion of good... in my world, right and wrong are... blurred. I'm not."

"I know, I know." Lily sighed. "You are neither bad nor good; you are some-where in the middle. That is your lot in life." She told. "It's okay Sev, it's all okay."

"You are good though, you always knew what was right and wrong, so I just tried to do what you would have done." Sev told honestly.

"I'm honoured." Lily told. "But you don't need me to tell you, I know you can figure it out fine on your own." She sighed. "You are all right, Sev. You can be yourself. I wish you would be; I like you when you are yourself."

"Thank you." Sev barely whispered disappearing into her arms. "I feel better now. I just wish I knew why I feel like crying again."

"It's all-right Sev, I know. Just cry, no one but me will ever know." Lily assured the boy who let go and silently cried into her robe before drying his eyes and looked up to smile up at Lily's face.

Lily smiled warmly as she started to slip her fingers through his hair, it was perfection, her just sitting with the little boy, she felt the tranquility around them, the sound of the river running, and the wind in the tree... Before Sev silenced and looked up in the sky. "I hear voices outside." He said silently. "I think some-one is trying to wake you up, you should respond."

"Oh, no." Lily suddenly discovered how everything around her became less distinct and almost fog like, regretting she looked down at Sev and pulled him closer, but it was no use, Sev as well as the image was slipping away. "Will I see you again?" Lily asked desperately trying to hold onto the picture.

"Didn't you listen?" Sev asked as he smiled brightly up at her his eyes shining with genuine happiness. "I'm part of Sev merged with your own soul for-ever, I'm always going to be with you!" he exclaimed excited. "I shouldn't be surprised you'll dream of me now and again."

"But won't you be lonely?" Lily asked.

"Of course not! Because I am with you and you are with me, a part of you is staying here with me, so it's okay!" The little boy grinned even wider.

And it all turned white, and Lily suddenly realized someone was shaking her shoulders while yelling her name. "Lily!" James yelled. "Dear lord, Lily, wake up! Please!"

Lily opened her eyes and found herself at the head masters floor, James shaking her.

"Lily!" he exclaimed as he discovered she had woken. "Speak to me! Anything!"

"I…I…" Lily swallowed, and then the tears started dripping down her eyes. "How can anyone feel so many things and have so many thoughts in his head at the same time..?" she asked sitting up and then was pulled up by James.

"Lily… what happened?" James asked.

Lily closed her eyes, as she tried to keep her tears back. "I know I shouldn't have done it... but I had to..." she swallowed." I felt his pain, thought his thoughts… not for long, but such pain James, his emotions... they are so strong. I couldn't even bear them myself."

"Shh." James assured her. "You had to, wasn't that what you said?"

Lily nodded and then let go of his embrace, she went back to the pensieve and collected Severus's memories with her wand to place them back in the vial. And then she smashed the vial down on the ground so the silvery substance disappeared down in the carpet. "I should have done that from the start." Lily confessed.

"Done is done." James told back. "Come on, lets go back." He stated in an assuring smile, extending a helping hand towards Lily.

Lily looked at James, the picture of Harry flashing in her head, the boy was wonderful, so pure and so passionate, and Lily knew she loved that green eyed spectacled boy... And he looked so much like James. Another Raven haired boy appeared in Lily's mind, this one with pitch black eyes, and those eyes so filled with anger, hate, love, so many things... pure, he was not, not like Harry at all, but tortured and so good.

And the two boys stood side by side, at each their way at the cross road. Left or right. Harry or Sev?

She loved both of the boys, more than she could ever convey, and she felt a tear inside of her as she saw them in front of her, knowing she couldn't have both.

Lily looked at James's welcoming outstretched hand, and then at James's face, he was a handsome young man, and he looked so pleasant so warm, he had grown so much and was now someone Lily could lean on in any situation. She trusted James, she felt safe with him and she… she even liked him; he was so handsome and somehow, his cockiness could be so inspiring, lightening the mood, making her smile even though things were so bad, though even with his jokes Lily knew he would always be there when it mattered, the life they could have together seemed like such a nice warm picture, it looked so good.

Lily breathed deeply and then sighed. "You are a good friend, and a good man James, whoever gets you is very lucky." She said in a soft voice, and then walked past James not accepting the hand. "But you don't need me." she whispered. "Not like him." She sighed. "He has done so much for me, now I want to do some-thing for him."

James looked oddly at her then smiled lightly. "Well, I'll consider it quite the honour I was any match for Severus at all. I mean, he is a great man who just plainly loves you."

Lily smiled vaguely at James. "I know."

"Then allow me, as your friend, to escort the lady back." James offered her an arm which Lily gracefully took, so they could closely follow each other down to the common room, where they separated by the stairs and went to each their bed-room, and as soon as Lily was alone, her tears finally had free range as Lily dropped down on her bed and clutched her pillow, as she cried, she started to fumble in her drawer and at last found the box with the silver necklace, to lay at her night stand where she could see it, it was so clearly made out of magic as it shone up and was so visible even though the room was dark, shining in it's elegant silver colour.

Then Lily dug even further and found an old brown homemade paper box and opened it, inside of it was what could pretty much be an ancient old necklace, it was made out of an old string and two feathers found around the park tied together, Sev had given it to her for Christmas when he was nine... and it had always been among one of Lily's most priced possessions... always... she placed it beside the silver necklace and just laid down looking at them as tears welled down her eyes, such a mixture of sadness and happiness, stronger than she had ever felt, like it was some kind of force

Lily lay down on her pillow and was barely able to hold her eyes open, yet her head was summing, with so many emotions so many feelings she wasn't familiar with, souring through her.

_She was walking through the forest, it was the middle of the winter and so cold that even her heavy, black robe wasn't enough to keep out the icy wind or the snow, she had to take large steps even to push through the thick layer of snow and it left heavy boot prints from her black silver bucketed boots.. prints she would really need to erase, just to be on the safe side, she pushed back her raven black hair and kicked the snow away, some-how grateful to finally be just a little outside of the castle, outside of death-eater meetings. Some-how cursing the same thing as it forced her to face so many things; Lily leaned heavily against a tree covered in snow as she held her black ebony wand tightly in her pale hand. She could hear food steps, some-one walking._

_Lily swallowed barely daring to hope, could it be? She peered out, and down there, way down the hill. A black haired boy with shining green eyes. Harry Potter._

_Lily held her breath not daring to give the boy any reason to think there was someone there, that would be much to dangerous... boy? What was Lily thinking? It was a young man down there, Lily observed ever so quietly as the young man ran through the snow, Lily had seen that man grow and mature whether she liked it or not, seen him face horrors beyond imagination, grief and happiness, and Potter had come out all-right by the end, he was still the picture of his mother, the trials had not turned Potter cold as it would other and had other people, but Potter was still kind, an inspiration, it was worth envying but still Lily couldn't help but feel a certain amount of pride for him._

_Lily sighed deeply, she could not linger for long, she drew ford a sword she had been caring around, a magnificent, clearly made by goblins sword, the golden handle weighed in her hand, and even though she knew very well that the sword could never belong to her as she would never become a true Gryffindor, she felt the strength almost go through her by merely holding it. She held it in a outstretched arm as she glanced at the glittering sword one last time, before she threw it as far away as she could so it sailed through the air before breaking through the ice of the lake and sank down at the bottom of the lake, with a simple wave of her hand Lily made the lake freeze ones more and with another wave all prior foot prints in the heavy snow was erased, before at last Lily raised her wand, her eyes fixed at the green eyed boy. "Expecto Patronum!" and it was like a physical charge soured through Lily as out came, a magnificent silver doe, first sailing three times around Lily, carefully Lily reached for and almost touched the magical creature before demanding with her wand, for the creature to get down there, down there and meet Harry potter… _

Lily blinked, she had blundered only lightly, but dreamt so clearly, and then she wiped her tears away, only to frown confused at her wet hand, but at last sighed.

She reached for her belt and grabbed her light, slender elms wand, she swore she could almost feel the phoenix feather inside of it pulsing, it felt so warm in her hand right now, and she wiped her eyes as she knew she had to try, now or never. The little raven haired boy was imprinted in her mind as she spoke the words.

"_Expecto Patronum_."

And out shot...a silver raven, flying elegantly over the room, Lily gasped in delight as she saw it flying there, elegantly it swiped the corners of the room and then landed at Lily's night stand, looking at her with its sharp eyes, and Lily was almost ready to swear that the patronus was smiling at her, before he leaped up in then air ones more as Lily stunned witnessed the act, not able to take her awed eyes away from the sight, and then she started laughing, genuinely laughing that kind of laughter which came from within, laughed her heart out.

"Wha… wha?" Berta beside her blinked and yawned.

"BERTA LOOK!" Lily exclaimed pointing at the bird.

"_Wow!_" Berta starred wide-eyed at it as the raven circled through the room.

"Isn't that a Patronus?" Emmeline asked as she robbed her eyes and yawned, looking rather displeased over having been woken.

"It's so pretty." Mary had also woken and looked starry eyed at the bird.

Lily was just smiling and chuckling as a maniac looking so happy at her creation, first time she had laughed in so god damn long a time!


	47. A Quidditch fight

It was the first day of the cold month that is November, the day after Halloween. Frost had started to settle in around Hogwarts. There weren't too many leaves still on the trees, and the outsides had definitely started to become hostile, which had only made the students of Hogwarts enjoy their warm cosy Halloween feast that much more. What would have to be the perfect way to follow up on such a delightful feast was the Saturday of a Quidditch match.

Nothing, however, ever seemed to be perfect for Regulus any longer, or even that great, not even decent, it was just all bad as far as he was concerned.

Though the thing that came closest to making him happy and forget himself was the very thing he was about to engage in.

A Quidditch match! It was Slytherin vs. Gryffindor, the single match that always seemed to be the most intense and interesting one, and Regulus would be lying if he didn't say that he felt the pulse and anticipation racing in his veins as he was met up with his full team with his broom over his shoulder dressed in his emerald green Quidditch uniform. It really almost made him forget.

"All right listen up!" Diane Diggory clasped her hands together as she happily noticed that they were all there. "We know this team, we can beat them! Their defence and sheer power of the attacks is their strength, to just try and barge into them using force is useless, so we will have to be slippery and manoeuvre around them, just as we trained okay?" she asked. "I've got to tell you, I am not going to lose to that twerp Potter! There is just no way! The dude will just rub it in my face the rest of the year no matter who wins the entire tournament. I want it to be the other way around, I want to be able to rub it in his face!" she exclaimed. "Regulus, did you manage to check out their new seeker?" Diane asked as she looked demanding at Regulus.

"Well," Regulus hesitated, "from what I can gather he is pretty inexperienced, but, hey, he is only a second year, and it's hard not to be worse than Anker from last season."

"Yeah, she was lousy." Diane grinned. "Let's hope this one is not better, though I think he could be twice as good as me and I would still be able to count on you, right?" she asked.

Regulus nodded a little smirk on his lips. "Right," he said.

"That's what I thought; they don't call you the star seeker for nothing." Diane grinned. "Let's get out and beat the crap out of those lions!" Diane exclaimed raising up with the broom over her shoulder, the rest of the team following her out on the field.

"And the teams are entering the scene at last!" the voice of Ian Baker, the Hufflepuff who was the current commentator, sounded. "Let's hope they are not too beat down after a swell Halloween party. Diggory, however, seems to be full of energy, as well as Potter; you might say there are sparks between the two captains!"

Diane smirked as she faced James. "Don't think that just because I accept you around school grounds means I am going to go easy on you!"

"Believe me, it's mutual." James stated grimly. "No way am I losing to you!"

"In your dreams Potter!" she flashed a fighting ready smile at him. "Don't get too full of yourself, or you might not need a broom to float away on."

"And you're the one to talk!" James exclaimed. "But just you wait till I punctuate you, Blondie!"

And Madame Hooch stepped in between them. "Will the two captains kindly shake hands?"

Immediately and without hesitation, Diane stretched out her arm with a grin still flashing in her face. "Let's make this a match they won't soon forget!"

Firmly and surely James grabbed her hand. "Sure thing! I will be disappointed if this is not going to be the match of the age! No holding back, missy!"

"No holding back, mister." Diane promised. And they shook hands so firmly and strong that several cracks sounded and they both retrieved their hand… only to wave it in pain as soon as they believed the other one had looked away.

Regulus, feeling the anticipation raging, did the same as he eyed his opposing seeker. Well, the kid definitely had a build for it, but that might also be because he was only twelve! He really was just tiny with his auburn brown hair all windy and a pale terrified expression on his face. Unless he had a hidden talent, the kid didn't have a chance; Regulus knew he was a star seeker, already last year the coach of the English team had suggested he might have a proposition for him when he was done with his seventh year.

Of course, at the time, his family would never have allowed it, but now they couldn't care less. Enjoy this moment, kid; he smirked at the shaking second year old. You are going to play against a future Quidditch star!

And all of the brooms set off simultaneously, Regulus rising above all of the others, including his rivalling seeker so he now had a firm view of the entire Quidditch pitch. And already the game was on, Diane had the quaffle and James was trying cut her way, only to have Diane deliver to Matthew directly underneath her, and use James' momentarily confinement to fly past him to once again accept the quaffle, and fire it against the left goal, only to have Sirius race towards it and kick the quaffle away, to have it caught by the other Gryffindor chaser, a girl with mouse brown hair, who had the sheer guts to throw the red bold to a beater who smashed his club at the quaffle so James could catch it, and throw it at the Slytherin goal, where their own keeper didn't quite manage to get there in time and there was point to Gryffindor.

Regulus tightened his fist. Damn, his own teams chasers were good, but theirs were actually equally so, the major difference being their keeper was also good and his teams wasn't! He would simply have to catch the snitch before Gryffindor got too many goals! That was how it was going to be, their defence was too good. Regulus dived to try and get a firmer look at the lower grounds; the snitch could just as easily be down there as up here; in fact, it was more likely to. That was when, right to his left, he eyed a Gryffindor beater hitting a bludger so the heavy ball was zooming straight towards Diane, who was too busy trying to tackle James. "No you don't!" Regulus shouted and kicked the bludger away seconds before it would have hit Diane on the side of her head.

Diane just managed to give him a thumbs up as she composed herself, but not before James had managed to get yet another goal so it was now 40 – 10 to Gryffindor.

Dammit! With this speed in the game, his time was very limited! Diane and James were both like two beasts as chasers, both as star quality as you can get, and both determined to see the other one go down, which kept them trying to score a goal on a frightening quick rate.

Snitch snitch snitch! Regulus zoomed around in a circle trying to get a golden glimpse.

"REGULUS!" He suddenly heard a female voice yelling among the audience, and Regulus eyed Lily standing with Lieve, Remus and Peter beside them. Though the boys wisely tried to look the other way as if they had no idea what was going on, as both girls furiously kept on jumping and yelling while pointing right in front of them, where, not thirty centimetres from them, the snitch was looking like it took a nice little nap floating around, at once Regulus zoomed towards it, though it was already too late, as the snitch had wakened from its nap and now decided to fly with extreme speed over the heads of the audience, only to have Regulus follow, and up in the air at a frightening speed he followed the snitch. At last it seemed like the other seeker got a sense what was going on and flew upwards from his position, but he was way too slow. The snitch was Regulus's as he flew higher and higher up, her got closer and closer to the snitch.

With a sense of triumph, Regulus stretched out an arm, only too ready to catch the little winged golden ball, as his broom without his commandment just suddenly stopped in the air, and the power of speed made it so it almost threw him off, he barely managed to grab the broom with his hand so he wouldn't fall to his death. "WOAH!" Regulus screamed in sheer surprise, dangling from his hand from the extreme high, everyone gasped as they watched him hanging there, his teammates looking questionably at him, only he saw that his broom was not the only one acting funny, as he looked down it seemed like both James and Sirius had stopped in mid air as well, and confused tried to make their unmoving frozen broom sticks move. Regulus barely got to notice this before a bludger zoomed towards him. He barely managed to swing out of the way of the bludger, still just hanging there in his arms, only to discover that the bludger was turning around to zoom back towards him.

"HOLY SHIT! Regulus shouted, as he swung up again and grabbed the broom with his legs to hang there, and once again the Bludger turned around to make a come back. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Regulus shouted, as suddenly something hit him hard in the head. "AUW!" And he knew he had been cut; blood was dripping from his forehead down in his eyes. While he was dodging the bludger, Regulus, confused, tried to figure out what had cut him, and discovered the golden snitch's silver wing dripping with a little red blood. "And the snitch is attacking me now!? The hell!?" and it was on the way towards him, so quick that he couldn't even see it and got the impression that if he tried to grab it it would fly straight through his hand leaving a hole in his flesh. "SHIT!" and he turned around just to get on top of the broom to dodge the bludger and bow down to dodge the swoosh which was supposedly the Snitch.

"REGULUS!" Diane shouted. "WHAT'S HAPPENING?"

"I AM GETTING KILLED, THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING!" he yelled down at her, and he had to drop down to hang from his broom in the hand again to dodge the bludger. "THE BROOM WONT MOVE IT'S FROZEN IN MID AIR!" he screamed at the top of his longs, and let out a roar as he knew the snitch had hammered down in the hand holding his broomsticks. "SHIT!" He clung to the broom. "COULD ONE OF YOU MAYBE GET BENEATH ME?" he yelled at his teammates in a very frustrated and impatient voice.

Diane immediately zoomed down as requested, just as Regulus looked up and saw a bludger taking a run up from above, and would soon zoom directly down on top of him. Underneath him, he could see Diane floating on her broom, looking sick with worry, and beneath her, that goddamned snitch floating cheerfully down there. The Bludger was zooming down towards him, sure to crush either his hand or skull, and at the very least crush the broom in two. "Shit, here goes nothing!" and Regulus let go of his broom, to free fall downwards. You could almost feel the gasp that went through the audience, as he fell down into nothing, before he managed to grab Diane's broomstick with one hand, and stretch out the other to clutch it so hard that his knuckles were completely white, two silver wings struggling to come out of his grip.

There sounded a big roar from the audience, not only from Slytherins but just everyone yelled and clapped as loudly as they could as Diane floated downwards so Regulus at last could have ground under his feet again, to look up at his broom still frozen way way above his head, hardly even being a line from here, and then there were two other brooms also frozen in mid air, though their owner long since had abandoned them.

"SHIT!" Diane exclaimed as she landed. "What the hell was that!?"

"Are you all right!?" James and Sirius came running towards him. "Damn, that was the ballsiest thing I have ever seen." James commented.

Sirius gaped for air. "All the times I have called you prince porcelain." He tried to get some air. "I take it all back!"

"Were you attacked too?" Regulus asked.

James nodded. "Both quaffles seemed to go for me, Pad had it easy." He pouted as he pointed at Sirius. "He only had one bludger in decent high to worry about."

"You call fifteen meters decent?" Sirius asked. "I couldn't move the stupid broom!"

"Oh, Potter." Diane suddenly smirked. "I believe my team won!" She clasped Regulus on the back so he actually stumbled forwards and it was only barely he didn't land head first on the ground, still trying to recover from the massive shock. It didn't help that both students and teachers were now starting to crowd them.

James's face fell. "DAMMIT!" he shouted, truly looking sour about it.

"_My_ team is better than _yours_!" Diane proudly stated.

"It's not!" James exclaimed. "If we hadn't been sabotaged, we would have won!"

"No." Lily came running down to them with Remus, Peter and Lieve in her heels. "If you had not been sabotaged, Regulus would still have gotten the snitch, he was so close right before the broom froze, and I saw it." She measured a centimetre with her hand.

"No need to say it out loud!" James exclaimed. "Especially not in front of her!" he gestured of Diane. "And who are you even with? You're still a Gryffindor!"

"These days that is saying less and less though." Remus smirked.

"Yay for Slytherin." Lieve waved her little green flag. "What? I'm Ravenclaw!" she pointed at her blue and gray striped scarf in response to James's sour look. "Dinna matter for me whom won, I'm happy either way." She smiled a little stupidly.

"I still think of you as a traitor now," James muttered sourly as he crossed his arms.

"Weren't we supposed to overcome house prejudices and stuff?" Lily asked with a lifted eyebrow.

"Yeah, Potter, is that not what we are trying to do? Making what house you're from count less?" Diane asked, and then slammed an arm around his shoulder as she started speaking in a grave heavy tone, though still so full of mirth. "I know it must be annoying you're not the one going to party all night, but try and make this an opportunity as a good sport." Diane pouted her lips in an even better smirk. "Of course I am going to rub this in your face until we graduate, but this is just a chance for you to show that you're the better man." She clapped James on the chest, and was clearly satisfied to see that his head was growing redder with annoyance. "And I hereby invite you personally to be a part of our party, just be prepared that we are not shy singing loudly about your defeat."

And as they finally headed for the dressing rooms, James was really just dark red in the head, mumbling something about gitty Slytherins and annoying blonds! He promised he would give her a piece of his mind.

"Sirius, Regulus," Lily then called out, "I know you probably want to party, Reg, but can you both meet me at the phoenix room when you are done changing? And Sirius, can you bring James?"

"Okay." Sirius nodded.

Regulus also nodded. "Yeah, sure." Madame Pomfrey had finally gotten through the crowds to take Regulus by the arm and drag him away for a medical check up.

Remus sighed as the Quidditch people left for the changing room. "You want to discuss what happened, right?" he asked.

Lily nodded. "That was a deliberate attempt on hurting them."

"More like murder them!" Lieve cut in in a very angry voice, making Lily look surprised at her. "Bastards," she fumed. "I swear when I get me hands on them stinking off springs of hobgoblins and vampires!"

"Lieve," Remus cut in, placing a hand on her shoulder before she could get started with her swearing as everyone knew she could. "Calm down," he said. "It would be too unproductive to get heated up over it."

"Well, it would be dim-witted nayte to be upset!" Lieve returned. "What are ye afraid of? To lose your temper? _Why?_"

Remus looked a little tired at her and then sighed. "I just don't like losing my temper," he muttered ashamedly before clearing his throat and returning to the subject. "If it weren't a murder attempt, whoever was behind it can't have been too bright; it was deadly dangerous. It was damn lucky everybody survived."

Peter looked pale and almost like he was going to faint by the revelation.

Lieve sighed even deeper. "In any case whoever did it cannae have been too bright; that's a poor way to try and kill someone. I mean, they did survive, this attempt was rather half-assed."

"Lieve, language," Remus sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"Well, it was," Lieve returned.

"Maybe the killer didn't really want to kill them?" Peter silently suggested making everybody else silence and look oddly at him for about five seconds.

"Right," Lily at last sighed. "Let's go inside."

They walked close together to avoid the looming shadows of the dementors, making their shock and fear less likely to be calmed down. They headed inside; at once they all just walked towards the phoenix room, finding no sense is going anywhere else.

"Pete, are you all right?" Remus asked his friend worried.

Peter, who looked like he both was pale and had flobsweat, nodded frantically, wetting his mouth, also shaking a little.

"Pete, it's okay, that sure was pretty hectic," Remus assured in that always wanting to be understanding voice of his.

Peter just sighed, defeated, as he looked warily at Remus.

Regulus was the first one to join them, still looking minorly shell-shocked. Who could blame him? Lily herself had had her heart up in her throat as she saw Regulus dangling up there; however it took a good long while before the last two seemed to think it was worth joining them, and when the time finally came, it was only Sirius who appeared. "I'm sorry!" he exclaimed. "Suddenly Prongs was just gone and I couldn't find him!" he told. "I think he sort of went to yell a little more of Diggory, it was all he could talk about as we changed, but I couldn't find her either!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I swear that kid is never going to grow up." Her own annoyance had started to grow.

"I thought you said he had grown," Sirius pointed out bemused.

"From where he started from, that is not saying a lot." Lily raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, does anyone have any idea what happened?" she asked bitterly.

Sirius sighed. "To take a guess, somebody just tried to kill us." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"And they targeted us specifically," Regulus mused. "It must have been death eaters."

"Or just purists," Sirius hrmpfed. "It was Crouch!"

Regulus sent an annoyed glare towards his elder brother. "That doesn't make any sense, all three of us are Purebloods, and not just any Purebloods, the two of us are the last of the Blacks, and the purist would still want to keep that alive. It must have been people aware of what happened in the mansion! Or, hell, what the heck you were up to last month, thanks for telling," he drawled sarcastically.

"Come on, it must have been Crouch! He has been taunting us all semester!" Sirius gestured, completely ignoring Regulus's accusation. "The prat is just sitting there!?"

"_Sirius!_" Remus cut in. "Calm down, don't make hasty decisions, we don't know that it was him!"

"It sure seems likely!" Sirius retorted.

"It does!" Lieve exclaimed. "Any idiot can tell there's something up with that creeper!"

Lily looked darkly at them. "I agree," she hissed. "It must have been someone and he did lead on he knew something." She looked up. "Even before this we have said he might be a death eater. It was most definitely him!"

Lieve also looked very darkly at them. "He sure is not right, there's something so wrong about him, that…"

"Calm it!" Remus instructed. "Be sensitive, please! Especially you, Lily, I can honestly say I would have thought better of you than to be so. I know you two and James would be too rash and enraged." He pointed at Sirius and Lieve. "And you are, so calm down! But you, Lily? You always are too out of control, rushing in and out of everything. Honestly, try and calm it. We need to think cool, you are _all_ too rash! Just think about this! You know what really worries me?" he asked.

"Other than that there is an assassin on the school?" Sirius asked sarcastic. "Willing to kill us?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yes, guess what is worse than one assassin."

"Please tell me what," Sirius snorted.

Lily's eyes widened. "Two assassins," she whispered as she realised what Remus had to be thinking. "That was so big and elaborate it must have taken at least two people," she said.

"I will even go as far as saying three," Remus hrmpfed. "Or at least someone with access to all of your brooms prior, which means a dorm mate."

Then there was absolutely quiet as they tried to comprehend Remus's words: a dorm mate.

"But that doesn't make any sense." Regulus broke the silence in a frown. "If one of my dorm mates did it, they wouldn't have access to your dorm, and you don't have other dorm mates than each other, and none of you can get to my dorm. So what?" he squinted his eyes as he looked suspiciously at them. "Unless it was one of you. I know you have ways of getting around, like that effing map."

"Reg, I don't like where you are going with that." Lily crossed her arms. "What was it about at least trying to corporate?"

"I am just laying out the facts," Regulus snapped. "I do indeed know you people have ways of getting around." He looked suspiciously at Sirius, Remus and Peter. "And here am I, a dumb evil Slytherin in your midst; I was way higher up than any of you out there. Why shouldn't I consider this?" he asked. "It's _my life_ on the line after all." he gritted.

"Because, by that logic, it could be anyone in school," Lily scolded, "and we can't afford thinking like this."

"Well, you certainly make it difficult _not to!" _Regulus hissed right back.

"_Regulus!_" Remus caught in.

"And I am starting to get really tired of you in particular, Remus Lupin," Regulus almost sneered as he turned around to look up and down at Remus. "I mean, wow, you are busy lecturing all of us all of a sudden. What makes you so much better?" he asked.

"Regulus." Remus spoke calmly. "I don't like your tone."

"Or you?" Regulus turned around to look at Lily with squinted gray eyes. "Why _are you_ that special miss 'we need to do this and this now?'" He asked in a sour tone. "Why? Really? I would really like to know. Why are you that special? Don't let me get started on you," he managed to hiss at Sirius before he managed to open his mouth.

"Regulus…" Lieve spoke up, only for his angry eyes to land on her making her take half a step back. Then there was silence, as Regulus looked at her, frowning slightly; then he looked at Peter, then at last exhaled and shrugged.

"I never asked for any of this," was Regulus's finishing statement. "You can't really think I'll just blindly follow you," he stated sourly. "Honestly, I am _so _tired of you expecting that all of a sudden, I owe you _nothing_!"

"But if we cannae do that, then what can we do?" Lieve asked hopelessly as she swallowed.

Lily looked down. "It doesn't seem like there is anything we can do," She at last admitted, defeated, but in a very bitter tone. "But if anyone gets a clue, just come out and say it, okay?" She looked sternly at Regulus.

And they all slowly nodded, all except Regulus, and even Lieve seemed hesitant as she looked away.

"Is there anyone who has anything to add?" Lily asked.

Slowly they shook their heads, and Lily was left to sigh. "Remus, Peter, Sirius: would you mind staying another minute for a word?" she asked, and they shook their head.

Annoyed, Regulus bit back, oh so he wasn't wanted? It had been him who had been closest to dying! A little concern please! Annoyed, he twirled around and went for the door, almost smacking it into the face of Lieve who was closely following him. Only at the last second did he manage to keep it open so it wouldn't hurt her face. "Thanks," Lieve muttered, also looking annoyed to be left out; her face expression actually looked as frustrated as Regulus felt, until she bowed her head so her face was in a dark shadow which her eyes seemed to shine from.

At last she tried to shake it off as she looked genuinely concerned at Regulus, with large sky-blue eyes. "Yer okay?" she asked in a genuinely worried voice. "I mean tha' was… Yer okay?"

Appreciation unwillingly came through to Regulus, a little concern at last! From his fellow, urgh, B-squat team member Regulus supposed. "Yeah, I'm fine," he grunted.

Lieve's face turned into a wide eyed stare. "Tha' wa' the coolest yet stupidest thing I have ever seen!" she said in a deep serious tone. "Free fall grabbing unto a broom beneath ye? Are ye crazy? Tha' could have killed ye!" she exclaimed, spreading her arms out in a wide demonstration, almost smacking Regulus in the face in her haste to demonstrate how crazy it was.

"I am not taking a do-over, that's for sure." Regulus tried to keep back his chuckle, before his face turned serious. "They are keeping something from us." He hinted at the door. "I mean it's obvious with last month, what the hell _did they do_ that bloody weekend?" he asked annoyed. "And why won't they talk about it? But even before that, they were never straight with us at all," he whispered.

First Lieve stared wide eyed at him, and then the emotion that seemed to come onto her face was relief, sheer, pure relief. "I know." She shook her head. "Boy I am glad ye say tha!"

"Oh." He blinked. "Oh, I see." He too was so relieved to be able to share this with someone. "What do you get from this?" he asked feeling so relieved to get rid of the pretences and suspicions, just for a minor second.

"None of them are vampires," Lieve flatly responded.

"What?" Regulus looked bewildered at her. "Erh... Kay. That wasn't exactly what I was thinking, I am pretty sure they are all humans." He squinted his eyes. Except for Remus. Half breed? Half breed what?

"Bu' we both agree they are hiding something?" Lieve asked.

Regulus nodded. "Yeah, and I don't think it's just one thing." He looked over her shoulder where he could see the closed door. "They have secrets all right. Lots of them"

Lieve nodded.

"Come on." He turned around and started to walk away. "Want to come with me to the Slytherin room? There is sure to be a party there."

"Aye, sure." Lieve shrugged. "I could use a cookie or something… I hope there's butterbeer." She started wandering with him. "Blooming idiots," she mumbled. "Rascals and barnacles, may they cook in their own oil."

Regulus merely rolled his eyes and kept quite as he solemnly walked towards his common room, Lieve's swearing and mutterings being mostly just a blur for him, as he deliberately chose to just block it out.


	48. The break off

As much as the party should have been fun for Regulus, Diane sure was over-the-top happy, ten times as happy as anyone else in the room as she kept bouncing around with a big permanent grin on her face, as if they had won the entire tournament and not just that single match.

And even though Regulus was the hero of the day, it quickly wore off on him and he felt strained. Life and death experiences probably had something to do with that, and all the things going on with the Marauders which they were not telling equally so.

Lieve felt it too; she had a sense of all the goings-on they couldn't see. That was a relief; he decided to roam the halls of Hogwarts, trying to collect his thoughts.

Then a loud crack happened just beside him, making him jump. "The hell!?"

"MASTER REGULUS!" a little wrinkled elf exclaimed. "Is master Regulus okay? Kreacher saw what happened and Kreacher could not help being worried, Kreacher tried!" The elf looked pleading at him. "Kreacher really tried to stop the nasty bludger but Kreacher couldn't stop it!"

"But you stopped the snitch?" Regulus smiled appreciatively at the elf. "Thanks, Kreacher!"

"It was nothing, Kreacher is only happy to serve master Regulus." Embarrassed, the elf looked down as his foot made funny circles on the ground.

"So do you know who did it?" Regulus asked.

"No, Kreacher is sorry." The elf shook his wrinkled head.

Regulus sighed. "It's fine; it was a long shot anyway." He lifted an eyebrow. "Why are you here then?" he asked.

Kreacher swallowed. "Well, master Regulus asked to be informed if Kreacher found out about…" the elf trailed off.

Regulus's eyes widened. He had completely forgotten about that! "You heard something?"

Kreacher nodded. "Mistress Bellatrix borrowed Kreacher for preparations in her mansion. Kreacher of course was happy for the opportunity. Then Kreacher heard Mistress Bellatrix talk to Master Rudolphos about an artefact the Dark Lord, praise his being, gave to her for safekeeping. Kreacher was led to understand it was very important for the Dark Lord."

Regulus sat down on his knees. "Kreacher, do you know what it is?"

"It's a cup," the elf gulped, "bearing the sign of Helga Hufflepuff."

"Helga Hufflepuff?" Regulus looked at the elf. "Do you know where it is?" Regulus then asked.

The elf shook his head. "Kreacher do not know; Kreacher is sorry."

"No, don't be!" Regulus stated at once. "You did very well! Thank you Kreacher."

His wrinkled face broke up in a smile. "Kreacher is just happy to serve master Regulus!"

"Thank you little buddy." Regulus smiled softly. "Now, I will have to give you an order just to be on the safe side; first do not punish yourself over any of this! You understand?"

"Yeas master." The elf nodded.

"And secondly, don't say anything to anyone else than me about this! Especially not Mother! As I told you before, if she asks, lie! And don't punish yourself over that!"

"Yes, Master!" The elf nodded while staring with ginormous round wide eyes at him.

"That is all" Regulus sighed.

"Yeas Master Regulus," Kreacher complied. "Then Kreacher will go back! Mistress is bound to notice, Kreacher have been gone for far too long all ready."

Regulus nodded a little sadly. "It was nice seeing you little buddy." He smiled vaguely. "You are allowed to pop by once in a while, you know."

The elf smiled faintly in return. "It is not Kreacher's place to go on social visits to anyone, Kreacher just wants to serve."

"Still, I wouldn't mind." Regulus shrugged. "Just so you know."

The elf smiled brightly before he disappeared in a loud crack. When he was gone, Regulus's face turned dark.

A horcrux, a cup with the crest of Helga Hufflepuff, and Bellatrix had it. What was he going to do with this information?

* * *

"Lieve," Sirius whispered in her ear. "Have you any idea what happened with Prongs?" he asked.

"'Ow should I know?" Lieve asked looking up at Sirius "If ye don't know, how on Irish turf would I?" she asked honestly confused.

"But he is all… weird, and on a cloud and and…" Sirius tried.

"I thought you wanted him to become more immature again," Remus commented with a slight smile lowering his book.

Peter nodded. The four of them were sitting together in the library doing their homework, and James had definitely been weird the last couple of days.

"Not like this!" Sirius exclaimed. "It's disgusting!"

"Is there any way to make Siri happy… ever?" Lieve asked Remus, her eyes filled with honest curiosity.

Remus chuckled. "No, I don't think so," he said.

Lieve sighed as she leaned her head in her hand. "'Ow about a big feast of twenty different kinds of meat and gravy served by a hundred topless women on brooms?" she asked.

"Oh, that would be a dream come true," Sirius sighed almost dreamingly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Sirius Black's one true love: food," Remus presented in a smile.

"Wow, then there are a lot of women who are going to be disappointed," Peter blinked to the other people's great amusement.

"But I love women too!" Sirius exclaimed. "Their grace and charm, their gift of adoring me, I see a girl and I just need to worship her, give her what she wants. I need to." He lifted a suggesting eyebrow.

Lieve's eyebrows flew up. "Oh really?" she asked. "Then I am waiting, mate."

"You don't really count," Sirius said without thinking, only to realise what he had said before he saw the smile wiped off Lieve's face. "No! Of course you do! What I mean... you are one of the guys... one of…"

Defeated Remus shook his head. "Smooth, Padfoot. Actually, I think that you are a real woman, Lieve, so don't take it too personally."

"You, too, Remus," Lieve returned in a teasing voice.

Sirius burst out in laughter. "Good one! Remus, a real woman!"

"Well he is the woman of your group, ain't he?" Lieve asked as she looked at Remus. "Ye are! Ye fold your clothes and have to check on the dates and everything!"

"I take it back then," Remus snorted, annoyed. "You are not a lady; you're one of the guys!"

Lieve shrugged. "Apparently," she simply said. "Then ye are still the woman of the group," she said, lifting her book.

Peter, amused, shook his head. "Nah, you are a girl, you are too nice to be one of the guys," he told Lieve.

"Why?" Lieve blinked, lowering her book once more so she became visible. "Thank ye, Peter." She sent him a warm, appreciative smile.

Which Peter returned, before suddenly… he silenced, and then frowned as he listened. "I think James is in here," he said. "I can hear his voice," he said in a soft voice, as if he himself was listening intensely.

At once the rest silenced and tried to listen as just behind the book shelf sounded James' voice. "Snuggly, you are delightful, honey bunch I adore you."

"Snuggly?" Sirius asked.

"Honey bunch?" Lieve replied.

"Delightful?" Remus added in a stunned voice.

"No, I adore you, bugalar." A female voice responded.

"Bugalar?" Peter asked with wide eyes.

"You know you drive me crazy when you call me that!" James returned. "Snuggly Wuggly! I adore _you_."

"No I adore you, Jamesie Pooh."

"No I adore you!"

Finally, the four scrambled to have a look and went for the book shelf to each remove a book to use as a peek hole to view what happened on the other side of the book shelf. James was sitting in a chair, looking adoringly at the blond sitting on his lap who was busy ruffling up his hair and caressing his chin, and then her head turned a little around allowing view of her short practical sports hair, handsome features and light brown eyes. The four on the other side stumbled back, looking aghast at each other.

"Di-di-di-Diggory!" Sirius exclaimed and then covered his mouth with his hand before he whispered. "Diane Diggory? The bacon stealer? Our sworn arch-nemesis on the Quidditch field?"

"I adore _you _the most!" James' voice sounded from the other side.

"No, I adore _you_ the most!" Diane's voice responded and the four people on their side of the book shelf looked sickly at each other.

"Want to clear out?" Sirius asked and the last three nodded firmly.

"Never thought you would ask," Remus responded.

"I'm going to be sick," Lieve told honestly, already packing up her books

"No, I most definitely adore _you_ the most!" James' voice sounded.

Peter bit together. "Hurry," he pleaded and finally they all four just rushed out of the library, Madame Pince yelling after them that running wasn't allowed before they got out and then burst out laughing in the hallway, almost dropping down on the floor as the four tried to breathe through their laughter.

"Snuggly Wuggly?" Sirius laughed.

"Jamesie Pooh?" Lieve asked.

"Oh, this isn't nice," Remus laughed, holding his stomach. "We should be happy for him!"

"Aye, but ye gotta admit this is so ridiculous!" Lieve pointed out and playfully hit Remus on the shoulder. "Told ye before, yer too nice to people, ye sod. Ye need a backbone, ye are such a girl!"

"She's got you there," Sirius laughed, grabbing Remus by the shoulder.

"Oh sod off!" Remus exclaimed, pushing Sirius away. "And you!" he pointed at Lieve. "How dare you call me a girl, me?" he asked. "I ought to teach you a lesson."

"Do tha and I steal one of James's nicknames." Lieve stated with a lifted eye-brow. "He seems to be so good at those, Moony snookums," she teased with pouting lips, making Sirius laugh so hard he fell down on the floor and Remus responded.

"Oh you, you'll get it for that one!" he exclaimed and managed to grab Lieve's arm before she fled too far away, only to ruffle up her already messy hair making Lieve let out a series of big laughs.

Peter chuckled into his hand. "Snuggly Wuggly," he said, repeating James's words genuinely amused.

And when they all just burst out in laughter once more, Lieve was let go off and fell down beside Sirius, who decided to give her hair an extra ruffle. "Prongs is so never going to hear the end of this one!" Sirius exclaimed as he gave Lieve's hair one last ruffle, making her sit with a big grin on her face.

"Oh, I don't doubt it." Remus smiled, amused, and they all laughed together. Oh, that felt good, on top of it all, this just felt so welcoming and bright for all of them.

Still amused, though trying to flatten her hair at least somewhat, Lieve was alone on her way back to her dorm, but took time to stop as she looked out of the window, looking at the forest which was bathed in fiery orange and yellow colours. It was quite beautiful; she was so lost in the imagery that she didn't even hear the person approaching her from behind.

"Yo, Lieve."

Lieve tensed and suddenly discovered that Regulus was leaning against the wall beside the window, leaning with crossed arms and looking at her. "Regulus," she uttered, surprised. "What are ye doing here?" she asked, confused. Regulus was sort of the loner of the group, keeping away from the others, and he never searched them out; he never ever searched her out, so this was a bit of a mystery to Lieve.

"I need a word with you," he said shortly. "And I know you are probably going to spend the rest of the day with the Marauders so I better just catch you now."

"Wa' is it?" Lieve asked. "Ye found something out?"

"Remember Kreacher?" Regulus asked.

Slowly Lieve nodded. "Aye, the house elf," she trailed off before her head snapped up. "He found something!?"

Regulus nodded.

"We should tell the others!" she exclaimed.

"You will do no such thing!" Regulus demanded.

"Wha'?" Lieve looked at him. "Why?" she asked.

"Who is it who is keeping the phoenix fighters running?" Regulus asked.

"All of us," Lieve complied. "The Marauders."

"What will happen if we tell them that we now potentially know where a horcrux is to be found?"

"They would rush out to find it…" she complied silently.

"And the fighters would really fall apart. The club is already strained as it is." Regulus crossed his arms. "In any case, how will they treat us on such a mission?" he then asked with a raised eyebrow.

Lieve could feel she was blushing furiously as she looked down in the ground. "As tag-alongs," she muttered defeated. "Probably also want us stay behind so they can go… I dinnae even think they are above tricking us to stay behind… they would sack us again…" she trailed off. "And then tell us nothing... again," she stated bitterly, admitting she didn't want that. She didn't want that at all.

"They all like to think that we are one big happy family all of us," Regulus hrmpfed. "But we are not! They are a group that we are not part of, and I know you know it! They are keeping things from us, they don't really trust us. And if we all went they would only need one single excuse to sack us."

Lieve blushed even more deeply as she nodded slowly. "Yer right," She acknowledged before looking confused at him. "Why are ye coming to me with this?" she then asked. "Honestly, why?"

"I am going after the horcrux," Regulus said surely. "But I also know that if the past one and a half years have taught me anything, it's that it's stupid to go on such an adventure alone."

Lieve gaped at him. "Yer asking _me!?_ Why me? I am not nearly as clever or powerful as any of the Marauders! I'm sure Lily would be happy to go, or Paddy! They all would"

Regulus sighed as he turned silent for a moment, not really looking at her but just looking out in the air. "I think you understand this better than the others, they have not lost someone to war yet, not really."

Lieve looked down, clutching her parchments as she turned around to eye the hallway. "It's a wee bit sudden," she muttered.

"I will be going Friday evening." Regulus said surely. "Voldemort is going to go down for what he did, even if it's going to be the last thing I do. You can come, or don't, I'll go either way."

He rushed past Lieve, so Lieve could see his back getting smaller and smaller, and she felt that hate anew inside of her. Yeas. Voldemort should pay! He should pay for it all! For... no! No, don't think about that! Don't think about them! And she felt a slight shiver, as a coldness spread through her… but that was not possible... Dementors could not come up here! She was at the tower! But, glancing out, there they were, floating around by the forest. Quickly she rushed down the hallway as well, trying to escape her own feelings of sheer hate and vengefulness, trying to hold onto that more fun feeling that had been earlier in the day, but, right now, it was actually kind of hard.

Lieve had immediately decided to go, but as she sat in the Gryffindor common room, playing exploding snap with Paddy, she suddenly became unsure. This seemed like madness.

Sirius sat on the other side, unaware of what was going through her head. He himself was thankful for this friend; James was so busy all of a sudden, probably out snogging a certain girl. Sirius cringed in disgust. And Remus was no fun anymore either, even Peter seemed to have lost the spark of mischievous behaviour! Regulus never had any to begin with; Lieve was the only mindless company left! It was horrible; well, not horrible, but he wished James would be here.

"Where's Prongs?" Lieve mindlessly asked, absently continuing Sirius' thoughts.

"Where do you think?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Apparently Pad, Moony, Wormy and Carrot are not fun enough company anymore," he muttered.

"It's not nice being bitter just because he has a reason to be happy," Remus firmly instructed from behind the book he was reading. "You should just be happy for him."

"I will be happy when he drops down from that cloud he is floating on." Sirius pouted making Lieve chuckle.

"If I know ye right, yer gonna find a way to make him fall on his bum sooner rather than later," she commented, amused. "Beside, Snuggly Wuggly? Ye'll make him suffer," she assured.

"Sure am, gonna help?" Sirius asked.

"What do ye think?" She grinned, and then turned silent. A shadow seemed to come over her face as she looked troubled down on her deck of card… if she had the time, that was. Friday, Friday…

"Carrot, what is it?" Sirius asked in a frown. Sometimes she just had this down turns, and it was only rarely she told what was wrong. It was pretty annoying!

"Nothing!" Lieve exclaimed as she often did. "I am just wondering… why ain't Pete and Remus playing?"

"You know, you're right!" Sirius exclaimed as he watched the two Marauders just sitting silently. "Come join!"

"Oh, I don't think..." Peter bit his lip.

"Please." Lieve reached for the chubby boy's hand to pull him over to the table beside her in a friendly genuinely welcoming gesture. "It's much more fun with more people! I want to play with you! Ye Pete, is me buddy remember?"

Though, as Sirius observed, that hand actually wasn't that chubby anymore; Peter had lost weight lately, a lot and not in a good way. He had always been pale, but lately it looked like he had turned more and more pale, more and more ill-looking, worse than the others even. He rarely smiled, and despite a sort of changed attitude, Sirius kind of thought he appeared more scared and jumpy than ever.

"Urgh, great!" Peter smiled faintly, blushing deeply.

Shaking his head, lightly amused, Remus also sat silently down as Sirius started shuffling the cards. Well, things were going to seem brighter all ready.

"LILY!" Lieve suddenly shouted over their heads. "Come join!"

Surprised, Lily looked up from the other end of the common room where she was doing her homework. "Lieve, I am kind of in the middle of something."

"Please," Lieve pleaded. "Don't make me the only girl, if ye join it'll be perfect." She smiled softly. "It'll be just how I always imagined it, having real good friends and just having a good time."

"Geez, that sounds corny," Sirius murmured rolling his eyes.

"Sorry." Lieve smiled faintly. "Just wanted to put it out there." She closed her eyes as Lily sat down with them. Lieve had her eyes closed as she lightly bowed her head, and she spoke with a very slow very quiet voice. "When I first came here." She spoke softly, which was extremely unlike her; normally, her voice would be loud and forceful, carrying her words far beyond what was ideal. "I was all alone, back at me farm. My family was very big and always there for me, but something was missing, there were no play mates my age, no friends to be naughty with, or get in trouble with. I had this weird dream, that when I came to Hogwarts, to all of these new people. I wanted to be a part of something, anything. I wished I could have someone to call friends, and not because they are me aunt or uncles, but because they are me friends, just to do nice things with, who would come and ask me to play card games. Who I could just talk to, who was actually interested in my feelings and I could help them, too, listen to what they said... That was my fantasies... I wanted it so badly," she stated as she slowly opened her eyes again and shared out the cards before looking up a slight glimmer in her eyes, as she looked at each of them: Lily, Sirius, Peter, and at last Remus before she laughed at herself. "I always imagined how it would be to just sit and play cards with those I could call good friends." She cheerfully laughed. "It's so great to finally just do it."

"Why?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow. "It's just a card game." Sometimes, this girl was honestly just weird, it was great she was weird and all... but yeah... sometimes she was just weird!

"I know." Lieve smiled a light smile. "I was just trying to say thank you, ya dope." She lightly hit Sirius on the shoulder with a soft fist.

Lily looked at Lieve, a slight smile spreading on her face as she caught Lieve's eyes. "You're welcome," she returned in a soft tone. "More than welcome." She reached out to give Lieve's hand a little squeeze. "Thank you," she returned.

"So are we going to play card games or what?" Sirius snorted in his impatient voice, making Lily roll her eyes, Lieve snicker, Remus shake his head and Peter sigh dejectedly before picking up his cards. But yet they all ended up smiling very shortly afterwards, just enjoying their little game. Till it was finished and Lieve was on her way, to surprisingly be stopped on her way to the portrait, by Remus of all people.

"Yes?" Lieve asked him politely.

"Well, I just want to say… you have done well," Remus said.

Lieve smiled lightly. "Thank you," she returned. "You too, yer doing very well."

"Not what I meant." Remus cleared his throat. Then at last he sighed, shook his head, and looked at her with a glint in his eye. "Stop being so surprised that we want you around," he said. "You are good enough. Just-as-you-are." With the last four words he poked her forehead four times. "You have a right to be here, Lieve, and you really are good enough. Get it into your head."

"Well, so-are-you." Lieve responded now poking him in the chest. "Get that into your head." She smirked, making Remus sigh.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head before he smirked at her. "Better get moving, it's almost curfew," he reminded. "Sleep tight, you," he greeted as Lieve was on her way out of the portrait, only for Lieve to halt on the way out and turn around. "Remus, wait, there's… something." She bit her lip.

Surprised, Remus turned back and looked at her. "Yes?" he asked, looking at Lieve with those patient eyes of his.

Lieve swallowed as she saw the eyes, but then came to knowledge that these very eyes were keeping something from her. It was only too obvious and she shook her head. "Nay, it's nothing," she at last stated. "Good night, Remus," she greeted crawling back.

"Night, Lieve," Remus's voice sounded behind her, before the portrait closed separating Lieve from the warm room.

* * *

Lieve really felt exhausted that next morning. She hadn't managed to sleep at all. Hunched with the school bag in her arms, she got into the Great Hall, and her groggy, sleep-deprived eyes found the Gryffindor table where the Marauders were also collected. Only... they looked oddly quiet; Remus was sitting barely poking his food, James sighed and Lily looked worried. Hesitantly, Lieve approached them; for a few seconds she stood behind them, none of them noticed. At last she cleared her throat. "Uh… Morning," she tried.

James blinked and turned around before he realised it was her. "Oh… Hey, Lieve," he greeted.

"Hey James, missed ya at the game last night." Lieve hesitated. "And urh, I hope one of ya don't mind, I'm afraid playing yesterday, I got a bit behind in me schoolwork; I could really use a little help." She sighed. "Actually, I would sort of like everyone there." She held her hands behind her back in private. Everyone there. In private; she could trick Regulus in there as well, and they could all talk... That would be good.

James blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry, not today," he apologised.

"It's fine," Lieve sighed, shaking her head. "Peter?" Lieve asked Peter, hoping at least he would come.

Peter shook his head. "Can't."

Lieve frowned, looking at the remaining three. "Sirius? Lily? Remus?" She looked at them each in turn, and they all looked away from her gaze.

"What's happening?" Lieve asked.

"Nothing." Sirius waved her off. "We just can't see you tonight, that's all."

Confused, Lieve looked at all of them, her eyes lingering on Remus as she swallowed, looking both concerned and confused. "Yer all acting strange," she stated. "Wha' is happening?" she asked once again.

James smirked at her from his position. "We told you already, nothing at all... we just, erh, need some time to ourselves, a little alone time if you understand…."

Lieve's face looked like someone had just kicked her in the stomach, but she quickly covered it up to offer a forced smile. "It's okay..." she mumbled.

Lily glared at James. "Smooth move."

Lieve however seemed to be mostly focused on the very ill-looking Remus. "Remus... are ye... I mean…" Confused, she started to fumble with her school bag, looking more concerned by the moment "Are ye all right?" she at last asked him.

"Yes, I am fine." Remus tried to send her away with a forced smile. Even Sirius had to admit he looked pretty darn terrible and wouldn't fool anyone.

Lieve turned to Peter with begging eyes. "Peter, wha is happening?" she pleaded to the one person she felt she was level with, whom she had something a little special with, an experience, her equal, not above her.

"Nothing." The boy looked at her, with a pale and strained face. "Everything is just dandy."

Lieve bit her lip. "Okay..." she stammered. "See ye around, oh and ye all look pale, try and drink some orange juice… vitamin C," she suggested carefully, and turned around to walk over to her own table with sunken shoulders.

Lily glared at the boys.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"What do you think?" Lily asked. "You just basically told her to mind her own business; she was hurt, you dimwit!" She looked at them. "All of you! Honestly!" She was just about to stand up, but Sirius beat her to it as he quickly rose up to look over the table where her hair was so bright and orange coloured it would be hard to miss.

"Carrot, wait!" Sirius first managed to reach her as she was back at her own table. "I didn't mean it like that, okay?" he said.

"Lily just gave yer a lecture about feelings, dinnae she?" Lieve asked, ashamed. "Ye dinnae have to do this, I am glad yer can be honest at least."

"That thing right there is what annoys me." Sirius snorted. "Stop thinking you're not wanted, okay? That annoys me! Look." He sighed. "Something just came up, and it's sort of personal... I promise you; tomorrow evening… it'll all be fine again."

"Bu' I thought we were supposed to tell each other this important stuff." Lieve looked at him, her voice slightly rising. "Tell what is going on! So when you don't tell it must mean you don't want me involved!" she elaborated.

"Urh." Sirius blinked before taking a breath. "Well, yeah, the important stuff..." Sirius trailed off. "But this is just personal, and I promised someone else not to tell. So, no need to worry your pretty little head about it," he told her, fondly ruffling up Lieve's hair.

Only for Lieve to, annoyed, push his hand away. "Fine, just leave it then," she muttered, annoyed. "Go on, I have a class to catch anyway," she stated, pulling the back-pack up on her shoulders.

"Erh... great." Sirius awkwardly patted her on the shoulder, really feeling extremely out of place in this situation, he was the bloody funny goofball! He should have let Lily handle this. "Tomorrow evening, we play cards."

"Tomorrow evening is Wednesday," Lieve mused. "And Thursday is phoenix night." She bit her lip. Then comes Friday. Go or not go? Tell or not tell?

"Yeah it is," Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "Didn't know you had trouble with dates."

Lieve glared at him, and then turned silent. She sighed, her voice turning softer again and her eyes a little sad. "I gotta catch class, see ye tomorrow kay?"

"Sure thing." Sirius nodded. "First thing in the morning! I promise."

"Tell Remus to take care of himself, will ye?" Lieve asked.

Sirius looked astounded at her. "Why are you saying that?"

"He looks beside himself, he does." She gestured with a worried glance in her eyes, and then shrugged. "See ye."

* * *

In the evening Lieve decided to go to the owlery, one of her favourite places in all of Hogwarts. She loved the birds... all in all, Lieve actually just loved to be together with animals, animals were honest and appreciating, animals loved getting visits, any-one whom said animals didn't have souls couldn't possible ever have been with an animal for more than two minutes. And animals were beautiful without being pretentious, every single one of them, they were the epitome of fascinating, and Lieve could spend forever with them.

And then there was one always attention-sick bird. A very specific smaller owl with sharp eyes that couldn't be petted enough by her mutiple owners, well technically she was Severus's bird, but it was the Marauders who took care of her.

Lieve was standing at the window, stroking Mona with the feathers and the bird was actually purring in response. "Mona, what do I do?" Lieve asked of the bird. "I should have told the marauders a very long time ago... I really really do want to help them, but I don't even think that they realise how much they mean to me… I want to support them... I want to, but they make it so difficult," she pondered. "And Regulus is right, they'll leave us out and rush out by themselves... call us kids." She looked at the huge full moon and shuttered, even though she used to like the full moon, it now scared her out of her mind, and she did not like it one bit.

"This is stupid," Lieve suddenly realised. "We are in this together, we are stronger together, and if they can't see that I must beat it into their heads! I'm going to tell!" She turned around and Mona flew up on her shoulder, going along for the walk.

"Are you sure?" a voice suddenly asked.

"Who's there?" Lieve twirled around so the bird gave an unpleasant "coo."

"Sorry, my lady." A boy with light blond hair and pale blue eyes stepped out with a big snowy owl on his out-stretched arm. "I was just sending a letter myself." He pointed at the owl's leg where, true enough, there was a letter.

"Crouch..." Lieve whispered. "Stay out of it; I won't have anything to do with ya!"

"Why the unpleasant tone?" Crouch asked as he walked towards the window with his big white owl. "Why do you people always assume the worst about me?" he sighed.

"Because yer a slimy scum bag and a poisonous viper just waiting to strike," Lieve responded.

"All Metaphors." Crouch shrugged. "You, however, if you need to tell your so called friends one thing, isn't it fair to tell them it all? Although again, what would they do if they knew?" He shook his head. "Laugh, probably. Better to hide what you are, right?"

Lieve gaped and then flattened her hair. "Ye... ye don't know."

"Please, it's obvious you're not fully human." Crouch rolled his eyes. "That's also why you father got killed I presume, a half-breed. But I don't laugh, see, you see me laughing?" he asked pointing at his face, which was just in a pleasant smile. "Because people just assume about me too, assume I am a viper as you put it… Your friends, however... what will they think? Be mad you didn't tell? Laugh? Call you stupid, as so many people always do?"

"I'm not..." Lieve started and then blushing looked down. "I'm not stupid." She bit her lip as she blushed deeply. "Really, I'm not!" she tried to defend herself. "I'm just different... there's… nothing wrong with that."

"Yes you are, so very different, your looks, the way you talk, the way you behave, your heritage… so very unique, that's splendid," Crouch told as his mouth spread in a grin. "I am so jealous, you know, the way you still look at the shabby one; why you still adore that dusty bookworm so much is beyond me."

"I dinnae know what ye are talking about," Lieve claimed at once.

"You can't have him, you know," Crouch told in a smooth voice.

"Dinnae ye think I know that, ye twat?" Lieve asked. "I want to help him but I cannae! He won't let me; he won't even let me near him. So it's over, end game, there's nothing between us," she stated.

"You certainly seem to care." Crouch smiled. "What a passion, and met with such ungratefulness... They laugh at you, you know, in the corners... they think you're strange, weird... and when you talk, they don't laugh with you, they laugh at you."

"Nay," Lieve bit back. "That's nayte true!"

"They keep you around as their little pet clown, that's it."

"Liar," Lieve stated. "They would never do tha'! Never in a million years!" she stated surely.

"You are not their friend, they don't trust you... not really, there's a reason why they keep things from you... why would they ever tell you what is going on?" Crouch whispered. "They don't even appreciate you, and before long... they are going to leave you and never look back, never care, and you'll be all alone and lost again. Because that's the kind of shallow, ungrateful people they are... laughing... laughing behind your back, just like everyone else."

"YE BASTARD!" Lieve yelled, her anger burning white and hot; for a moment she was blind. Without thinking, without seeing, Lieve stepped three steps forward and punched Crouch with her fist, right in the middle of his face. Crouch fell down on his back, a wide look of surprise on his face.

For a moment Lieve just stood there, breathing deeply in and out; it was like the world had frozen. Then, she looked at her fist, wide-eyed and horrified, where there was just one single drop of blood, but that was enough for her. "I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I dinnae mean... I..."

"Oh, no worries." Crouch smiled drying off his bleeding lip with his sleeve. "I'm sure you're making your heritage proud; it's so much a part of you."

"Nay, it… it…" Lieve sighed, looking down, gritting her teeth and folding her fists, trying to hold herself back, barely succeeding.

"Why hide it?" Crouch asked. "I adore it." He stood up, looking at her with hungry eyes. "I know places where people adore different people to."

"Nay ye don't." Lieve told. "Ye know why there's always war? Why this war is happening at all? Because people are afraid of the things they don't understand, anything that just happens to be a little different, and some people know how to use that fear, far too well... But really, we are all different, and we have a right to be here, I have a right to be here, ya twat," Lieve hissed. "Dinnae ever touch me or talk to me again, or I swear there's a fist ready for ye!" she stated, turning around and purposely walking towards the door.

"You really are different," Crouch's smooth voice sounded. "Unique, what have you even done to fight for that yet? What good are you even for as you are now? I honestly want to see you embrace yourself; that would be interesting."

Lieve didn't answer but walked straight for the door and walked through it to slam it after her, only to, as soon as she was down the stairs, exhausted slunk together hiding her face in her hands, needing to make a decision and make it at once, or it would surely tear her apart.

* * *

"Regulus..." she uttered on Wednesday as they waited to be allowed into charms. "When and where?" she asked, looking at him. "I'm so definitely going with you."

Regulus had never ever felt surer about anything in all of his life; this was how it was supposed to be, he just knew it! Fate had arranged it so he was supposed to go out and find at least one of the horcruxes so it could be destroyed.

He was surprisingly not caring about leaving; knowing his departure was only a day away, it was a lot easier accepting the friendly brotherly gestures from Sirius, or joke with the phoenix fighters, the cold determination inside of him just drew him forward, and he could see that same determination reflect in Lieve; it was really meant to be.

It was still the same story: he neither liked nor disliked the girl, and he just somehow knew that he would need her in the future. He leaned against the wall as he watched an extremely exhausted and pale-looking Remus, still being able to smile and enjoy himself as instructing some younger students in basic spell casting. He was a natural teacher, the club would be fine with him on-board; he just made the youngsters want to study, more and more had come since the dementors, all wanted to try and have a crack on the Patronus, but so far none other than Lily had succeeded. Hers, however, the magnificent raven, often circled the room as to inspire all of the students. As it did now as Lily leaned against the wall admiring her own handiwork with loving eyes.

Regulus sighed as he shook his head. "When all of this shit with the war is over," he asked mindlessly to Lily who also leaned against the wall, "what do you want to do?"

At first Lily looked surprised at him, and then she gave a soft yet sad smile. "Well..." she hesitated. "I kind of thought... maybe… I wanted to work in law, I want to be somewhere where it matters you know."

"I'm sure things will be a lot fairer if you have a say." Regulus sighed.

"Thanks." Lily blushed awkwardly looking at the floor. "I am not really sure though, I just know I want to be somewhere I can make a difference, and it's not just the same every day! I wouldn't be able to live with that, though what I want most is just to live. Come home to the man I love every day, and know he is alright. Get a proper home; I want an apple tree in the garden for sure. Like in my parents' home, I always liked that tree." There was a faint smile on her lips. "And the living room should be neat and tidy, yet cosy looking and filled with books, a place where you just feel good as soon as you step inside." She told the tale as she looked dreamingly out in the air. "You got any ideas?"

"A proper home sounds nice." Regulus nodded. "And not having to be afraid it will be burned down even nicer. Or the people you share it with…." He looked down with his eyes. "Yeah, I would like to see that; you should both have an apple tree, and a pear tree, too. I think it would make a good home. That is really what we are fighting for, right?"

"It is." Lily nodded. "Just being able to have a life," she stated looking out at the room, and then suddenly saw Lieve standing completely silent with her wand, looking out in the air, as if thousands of thoughts went through her all at once. "No more fighting... for any of us… I'll look forward to that day."

Lieve lifted her head as if she knew she was being observed and then met Lily's eyes. Lily frowned, as she couldn't quite decipher the gaze Lieve gave her, though it looked rather painful. It reminded her of the very gaze Regulus had just given her, but then Lieve closed her eyes and went away, and so did Regulus, though neither really spoke.

* * *

And then it was already Friday, but not quite yet time. Lieve rushed through the empty hallways, clutching a small letter in her hands, sealed so only the people intended to it could open it, she felt the anticipation and uncertainty all over her body, she was almost shaking and almost had second doubts, but only almost. She found her way to the third floor, and pushed up the door that would lead to the place where she had found friends... She smiled vaguely by the sight of the room, it was so huge still, and now with no people in it, it looked even bigger.

Though not entirely empty, Lieve held her breath... no... Merlin!

Tucked away in the corner, sitting on a bunch of pillows as he had searched solitude in the room, though had now fallen asleep so the book he had been reading was slipping down from his hands as well as a load of parchments seemed to have found their own life and was slipping away from him, ink on his hands proved he had fallen asleep while writing! And now it threatened to destroy his work, his mouth was slight open as he slept in his sitting position.

Remus!

Well, he had seemed beyond exhausted yesterday when she had seen him last; it had looked like he had to fight to stay awake, also like he was fighting a head ache from any kind of noise, which explained why he had sought solitude. She slowly walked over to him and kneeled beside him.

He slept so heavily, his eyes flickering behind the lids. Without hesitation, Lieve took off her robe and spread it over him as if it was a blanket; she hesitated a bit, holding her breath and looking at him. Even in his sleep Remus looked worn out and used in his young age, and Lieve's heart melted. She lightly held her breath before she reached out a hand and touched his hair, it was soft and... For some reason there were already silver hairs among all the sandy brown ones. "Dear Merlin, ye are turning grey," Lieve barely whispered, afraid to wake him. "I sure hope I have nothing to do with that. believe me, I never meant to bring you distress, not ever." She whispered ever so silently as Remus exhaled his sleeping breath.

Lieve shook her head as she slipped her hand through his hair, then leaned against him, as she ones had while they had read a book together, it felt so warm and safe there, he smelled of old parchment, chocolate, tea and for some reason lemons, Lieve could just sink into this comfort and stay there for-ever, Remus would never do any-thing to hurt her, not on purpose, that was whom he was, Lieve bit her lip. She would not cry! She refused to cry, she couldn't cry as she left the comfort. She would have to be strong, she was used to be strong on her own, and she could do it again! She had to!

Then she got up and looked at him again, one last time pushed his bangs aside and then gave into her urge, she silently bend over and then planted a light kiss on Remus's forehead feeling like she had just been stealing, a weird good mischievous feeling, to be stealing some-thing she knew weren't hers.. But then sadness filled her chest as she had decided this was it. What she was pining after weren't hers and it was better she went some-where else. She left her letter on Remus's lap and then turned around walking away as silently as she could, she did not dare turn back, if she did she would break in tears and worst of all, maybe not being able to leave after all, she had to go, and thankfully, as Lieve closed the door behind her, she could let go of her breath.

Quickly she rushed to her dorm and changed out if her school uniform into warmer clothes, flustered she fumbled with her wand as she shakily pointed it at her trunk and let it be hidden, concealed from anyone unless they went all the way to the corner and tripped over it, she grabbed her already packed ruck sack and glided along the wall in the common room to the exit, before running down the empty dark hallways of Hogwarts, only once being interrupted as she had to hide from Madame Norris coming around the corner, and after that she ran to one of the secret tunnels she had learned about from Sirius that lead out to the lane.

It was dark outside, though cloud free and star sprinkled... the only sounds to be heard was the wind rushing in the threes of the forbidden forest and some few animal sounds. It was incredibly cold, though that was probably also due to the shadows of the floating dementors in the forest, though they didn't make as much as one sound. Lieve thought she could hear the singing of merfolk among them and the clicking of acromantulas. She ran towards the whomping willow that was squirming and creaking as it moved around, beside it standing two shadows waiting for her. Regulus was holding the hand of the small crumbled house elf, Kreacher.

Regulus lifted an eyebrow. "You're late," he commented dryly.

"Sorry." Lieve flustered. "I just needed to finish off some business I did."

"You're still sure about this?" Regulus asked with a lifted eyebrow and a serious frown. "I don't want you to chicken out half-way through."

Lieve gave him a look of sheer determination. "I ain't going to chick out." She looked at him. "I wannae do this." She grabbed Kreacher's other hand.

"You know we might not be coming back." Regulus asked. "I mean, you are completely aware of this."

Lieve gave him a look, a sad, determined look that said not only that she knew, but she was counting on it.

Regulus nodded. "I just needed to be sure." He told. "Kreacher, would you please?"

"Of course, Master!" Kreacher exclaimed. And with a loud crack they all vanished from the dark lane, only leaving the blowing wind and the trees.

* * *

Remus was running as fast as he could, and literally barged into the Gryffindor common room. "Guys! GUYS!" he yelled at his mates, making James fall down from the seat, Sirius drop his homework and Peter squeak as he hadn't done in half a year.

"Moony, where's the fire?" James asked, staring at him.

"The map! Do you have the map?" Remus asked in a fast rhythm.

"What do you want to map for?" James asked.

"Just give it to me!" Remus demanded.

Sirius was already digging in his schoolbag. "I got it, I think …just a moment." He dug around for a little more which felt like a lot longer before reaching the parchment to Remus. "Here." He handed the map to Remus.

Remus just snatched the map without even thanking him. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he mumbled before frantically searching the map. "Damn!" he muttered as he was apparently done with one place and searched another for dots with his eyes before throwing the map back to Sirius. "Bollocks!" he swore, kicking an unfortunate arm chair beside him.

"Moony, mate..." James asked flustered. Lily had also come to see what was wrong. "What's wrong?"

"They're gone!" he exclaimed.

"Who's gone?" Sirius asked, bewildered, trying to calm Remus down.

"Lieve and Regulus! They're gone!"

"What!" James exclaimed. "How can they be gone!?" He took the map from Sirius and frantically began searching it with Sirius over his shoulder.

And Remus sank down in an arm chair, covering his face with his hands. "Shit," he murmured.

Lily warily looked at James and Sirius as they searched the map over and over, before at last paling. "It's true," James at last said, also sinking down. "They're gone."

"Fuck!" It was Sirius's turn to swear. "They left, didn't they? Why are we so bad at this? They should have come to us." He sat down in the only left vacant chair. "Why can't I do anything right?" He leaned backwards, feeling sullen.

"You?" Remus asked. "What did you do to make them leave?"

"Shut it." Sirius grumped. "How did you figure out they were gone anyway?"

James sighed. "And why did they go?"

Lily looked sadly at them. "Where have they gone to?"

Remus sighed as he looked defeated at them. "Your guess is as good as mine. Here." He reached for a little piece of paper to give to Lily.

"What's that?" Lily asked.

"How I knew they were gone." Remus exhausted rubbed his eyes. "Go on, read it… it's for all of us."

Shaking, Lily looked down on the parchment, and saw messy handwriting, though still a little fine.

"Dearest Marauders," she began reading out loud. "By the time you find this, both Regulus and I will be gone. There is something we need to do, and there's something you lot need to do. Don't bother trying to look for us, just keep on doing what you do best, be such good friends with each other and help the people around you as you have helped me.

You're the best friends in the universe, and I am so glad that I learned to know you, all of you. Even when Paddy was impossible and Remus was too nice to kick him for it.

Remus, you can do that, you know, Paddy deserves it now and then. I'm sure James and Lily would be happy to help, though James could need a kick too once in a while. Peter, you can kick them too, I'm sure it would make you feel better, I know you don't think so yourself, but you are good enough, you are nice; Peter, kick them for me and feel better, they won't be mad for long, so it's okay, you really don't need to be so ashamed of being scared, because right now it is scary, and the rest will only be too happy to listen and comfort you, as well as each other. You should, I know you will all watch out for each other, so that is all I ask. Just continue being you, you are all wonderful. And Lily, you should stop worrying so much, you become too upset when you worry so much, same goes for the rest of you. Remus don't let this interrupt your night sleep, you need it, I can see that your ill, and I don't want you to be, so take extra care of yourself, and get some of that sun light. That goes for everyone actually; remember to take care of you. All of you. I will never forget you and I love you." Lily looked up at the others. "Signed, your odd, grateful friend, Lieve."

"Jesus." James sighed loudly. "It sounds like she is not planning on coming back."

Lily looked hopelessly at him. "It really did sound like a last goodbye, didn't it? I can't believe it."

Peter looked beyond white, as he looked wide-eyed at the letter. "She won't get hurt, will she? I mean…" He swallowed.

"Bullocks." Sirius swore again. "Merlin's nostrils and dragon assholes." Not even Lily asked him to keep it down.

Remus had a very haunted look as he looked out in the horror. "I finally did it." He uttered in a haunted voice. "I pushed her away." He closed his eyes as he hammered a fist into the arm chair. "God I suck!"

Lily put a hand on his shoulder. "Remus don't blame yourself, you didn't know she would pull a stunt like that."

"Is it honestly that big of a surprise?" Remus asked. "And if I had just been honest with her a long time ago this wouldn't have happened, she knew I was hiding something from her. She's not as stupid as she thinks she is."

"I was the one dragging them into it." Sirius pouted. "This entire mess! I swear I didn't know it would be so messy… And Regulus too! If I had just seen a bit more clearly a little sooner! If just..."

James sighed rubbing his eyes. "Why didn't we tell?" she asked.

Remus silenced and looked abashed down, Sirius sighed.

"Because..." Lily looked down. "I didn't want them to get hurt, I wanted to protect them." She told quietly and looked towards the window. "We did what we could, we tried to shield them."

"Then why did they go?" Sirius asked.

Abashed the all looked down. "I don't know." Lily muttered. "Maybe the same reason I was driven crazy enough to do that dumb thing... go into the middle of a pack of werewolves... they didn't want shielding."

"We drew them away, that's why they went." Remus muttered. "They knew, they god damn knew we were hiding secrets from her." He groaned. "Stupid." He frowned.

"Well, we better go looking for them." Sirius then gestured already on his way up from the chair.

"Look where?" Lily asked bitterly. "They'll be long gone by now."

"You're right," Sirius muttered, plummeting down again. "God I hate this, what if they get hurt?"

James looked very pale. "Or worse... she did sound like they were not counting on coming back." He said. "Man! At least when we went we counted on not even being noticed that we were gone! And they... Merlin!" he exclaimed in frustration.

They looked at each other, shuddering lightly. "If you can keep a secret," Remus swallowed, "I don't believe I have ever been this scared in all of my life."

"Well that time where I prepared for death in front of a hundred werewolves maybe." James murmured. "But other than that, feeling with ya mate."

"Sev can defend himself, and not only that he doesn't need strength to get out of dangerous situations; he knows how to handle stuff like this! But this..." Lily shuddered. "Yes, I am scared."

"Why?" Sirius asked. "Why can't we ever do anything right?"

Lily shook her head. "You're wrong about that, Sirius, you guys do loads of things right... we just need to…" She sighed. "Keep on going and pray for the best."

James also looked exhausted. "She's right; we just can't afford getting even more scattered than this. We can't." He looked at Lily, taking a breath while he looked with determined eyes on her. "I don't think there's anything you don't know about us anymore, we are Animagi illegally, all three of us. We did it to help Remus"

Lily's eyes moved to Peter. "You too?" she asked him.

Peter looked down before he nodded. "Yeah. I, erh…"

"Turn into a rat," Sirius told, making Peter look a little annoyed at him.

"Yeah. " Peter at last sighed. "I turn into a rat." He held his hands up. "I'm a rat." He grimaced.

Lily nodded. "Okay," she told. "Thanks for telling me," she thanked softly before yawning, rubbing her eyes. "God, I wish I could sleep better; I really need rest."

"I think we all do." James leaned back in the arm chair, looking really tired.

"She is going to get herself killed." Remus looked more haunted than ever. "People die out there almost every day."

"Moony, we know," James scoffed annoyed.

"What if they die?" Remus again asked. "James, what am I supposed to do if they die?"

"Carry on." James looked at him. "Remus I know you, you are very strong and you'll carry on." He looked at all of them. "Besides, we are in this together, and we are in it with all of the others as well, even if they are not here."

"Yes," Lily whispered. "We won't turn our back on anyone. I won't, I refuse."

Yet despite the reassurance, the air was heavy among the friends; they didn't need to have each other's words to know that they were feeling the exact same thing, cold dread and filled with worry they were. Yet they knew there was only one thing for it, they had to be strong, and they had to carry on.


	49. Back at the mansion

_Okay here's the deal, I have had lots of chapters just laying on the computer for a long time, and I just want to get this story over with right now. _

_The reasons for the many delays is that I have used Beta-readers, because I am a dane, English is not my native languet, and my english leafes a lot to be desired, and I have had so many bad exsperiences with betas now that it's just driving me insane.  
_

_As I asked around, if people would mind if I didn't get them beta-read if it meant getting them quicker, and the over-all sentiment was that it would be okay, so that is what I did.  
_

_Now, if you would like to fix any all-ready posted chapters, feel free to do so, just copy paste to your own word document, ask me for my e-mail over a PM, send the fixed chapter to me and I will be happy to exchange it and credit you.  
_

_Yours truly, Moonbird._

* * *

They landed right outside the big mansion, Lieve could feel the ice go down her spine as she recognised it; indeed, it had been rebuilt after the fire, and it was now the exact same as when she saw it the first time around, she shivered lightly as deep inside, she really did not want to re-enter that place.

"Is there anything else Master Regulus requires?" Kreacher asked.

"No, only the usual: don't tell," Regulus told.

"Yes, Master." Kreacher nodded and then vanished with a loud crack.

"So," Lieve hesitated. "Tha' is the Lestrange manor," she said, stating the obvious for no other reason than confirmation.

"Yes," Regulus told.

"What's the plan?" she then asked.

"Simple," he told. "We're sneaking in, and we're using this." He retrieved a gleaming silver cloak.

"Is tha'...," Lieve hesitated, "James'?" She looked flabbergasted at Regulus. "Ye stole James' invisibility cloak!" she accused.

"Borrowed," Regulus corrected her. "I'm going to give it back… if I get the chance."

"That's sort of like stealing," Lieve pointed out.

"Don't tell me you would be above it if the situation was reversed." Regulus snorted.

"I WOULD!" she exclaimed. "Me mom always told me tha honesty is one of the most important things in life!" Lieve told indignated. "Wha' if James and the rest really need it for something dangerous! Ye _know_ they are willing to just rush into these situations. What if they plan it, and first then discover they dinnae have the cloak and rush in anyway! _They would do that!_"

Regulus rolled his eyes as he snorted. "Well, I just happened to deem that we need it the most," he almost drawled. "All right, I know the place so I guess I'll lead the way and you cover me."

"Urh…" Lieve hesitated.

"What?" Regulus groaned, annoyed. "You forgot your deflections spells?"

"Nay, of course not," Lieve said at once. "Bu' erh…" she hesitated, "I'm sixteen."

"_What?_" Regulus looked wide-eyed at her.

"Hey, ye just had yer birthday early in the year, bu' most in our year is still just sixteen," Lieve defended.

"And you didn't think to tell me?" Regulus asked.

"I thought ye knew before ye asked me," Lieve returned. "Bu' now I am here and I ain't going back." Lieve's voice started to rise.

"Lieve," Regulus started in a low voice.

"Nay, listen, ye need me, tha' is why ye brought me, so don't think..."

"Lieve," he said again.

"…Tha' I am getting brushed off easily."

And suddenly he just grabbed her mouth and forced both of them down so they were hidden beneath the bush. "Shh!" he hissed as he frantically threw the invisibility cloak over both of them, just in time to have one young-looking face peer over them.

Lieve felt her heart in her throat as the young blond man squinted his gray eyes, looking precisely where they were; she literally couldn't breath as Regulus's hand covered both her mouth and nose, and on the same note that she was choking she was desperate not to make any choking sounds, the young man kept staring at them, when finally... he shrugged and went away. Still Lieve had a hard time not to choke, and as Regulus slowly started to remove the hand she pushed it away to take in a deep breath, before being completely silent again... until the footsteps were far away.

"Malfoy," Regulus mumbled. "Seems like they have house guests this evening."

"So," Lieve hesitated. "Does this mean tha' we wait?"

"I guess…" Regulus hesitated.

"Bu' even if we wait 'til they are alone, it would be hard to ransack the place without getting caught," Lieve mused.

"What, ransack?" Regulus asked. "Have you any idea how many secret hiding places there are in there?" Regulus asked. "Plus, the horcrux may not be even in there."

"Then what are we doing here?" Lieve asked dumbfounded.

"Bellatrix knows where it is," Regulus grunted, now seeming really annoyed.

"So we're going to follow her around?" Lieve asked.

Regulus gave her a look as if he thought she was an idiot. "Don't be stupid," he grunted. "I have this." He retrieved a little vial of crystal-clear poison.

"Veritaserum... how on earth did ye get yer hands on tha?" she asked.

"It lay in James's bag together with the cloak," Regulus confessed. "I don't have a clue where he got it from."

"Me neither..." Lieve mumbled. "Or why he would even have tha' in the first place." She hesitated. "So... we need to get to Mrs. Lestrange."

"Preferable getting some Veritaserum in her without her knowing it so she won't even know that we are there." Regulus nodded.

Lieve starred at him for a moment, and then looked at the mansion. "Well, I can see why ye took the cloak."

Regulus was silent. For a while they sat there in the complete silence.

"So we are just going to wait?" Lieve asked.

"Yes; as you saw, there are house guests in there," Regulus fumed.

"The whole night?" Lieve asked.

Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Boy, this is going to be cold." Lieve commented. "Though I had colder, once I got lost in a snowstorm I did... way out in the pine forest, and it was beginning to be dark, I had to dig a whole in the snow to take cover, then in the night as the storm had finally stopped."

"Lieve," Regulus stopped her.

"Wha?" she looked at him.

"Shut up."

"Oh..." she looked at him. "Ye think they heard us?"

"You mean you?" he asked. "No, of course not; they're inside, but why take any chances?" he asked.

And then again there was silence, though only for a while.

"Ye know, this ain't a good way to do this," Lieve mused, and Regulus rolled his eyes, oh boy, what now. "One of us should sleep while the other keeps guard; tha's the point of there being two people on these kinds of missions."

"Fine, go to sleep," Regulus snorted.

"I dinnae mean it like tha'." Lieve looked a little hurt. "Bu' I know that when ye'r out in the open, it is very important to keep up your strength, rest probably, because yer body rules ye more than ye would think."

"Then go to sleep," Regulus repeated.

"Okay then..." Lieve hesitated. "But ye wake me in a couple of hours, and then ye sleep, tha is how it works."

"Whatever," Regulus returned.

Lieve gulped as she laid down on the hard ground, and all ready before she laid down she knew that it was sort of pointless, there was no way she was going to sleep tonight, besides, the ground was cold and bare, she herself was tense and filled with anticipation, and it was so damn silent.. Lieve hated the silence, especially when the boy sitting above her was more than likely to change his mind and leave her behind by first given opportunity... with that startling realisation Lieve sat up again, and instead leaning against a tree, as she closed her eyes and decided to recite a normal morning routine at the farm... First you get up, then you get out and release the horses, to do that you'll need to make sure the wards are still in place so they don't just fly away, so you'll have to walk to the far out lamp post, which you can either walk to, or fly to on a broom if your lazy that morning, however, walking gives a better appetite for the breakfast, it's nice to walk there in the morning, breathing in the wet Irish forest morning air, listening to the birds, and you'll have peace to fantasize about what ever you want..

Regulus felt like hand-palming himself, what had he honestly been thinking bringing her? He had been so sure of everything just before they embarked, but now... sitting here in silence... he was seriously in doubt, he knew that he was going in for the Horcrux, that he was still very sure of, and determined to do, but why the hell had he brought her? Just why? And now he was stuck with her, to make matters worse she was sixteen and couldn't do magic out in the open, so chances really were now that she would at most be in the way, to take her had now officially been proven a dumb idea, and now there was nothing to do about it, he just had to make do and pray to Merlin that he hadn't made some kind of terrible mistake.

Finally the sun rose, and both teenagers started to stretch their cold limbs, Regulus was feeling a weird sensation in his stomach, something he hadn't felt in a long time, he was hungry, he realised. He didn't know if he should be pleased or annoyed, on one hand it was a good thing, but on the other terribly inconvenient. Supposing that, it made Regulus fish a loaf of bread out of his bag, and broke it to offer the other half to Lieve, who hesitatingly accepted.

His sudden sensation of hunger was quickly fulfilled, though, as he discovered that he could barely nip to the bread before he just couldn't eat any-more, Lieve seemed to go through something similar as she was chewing on a extremely tiny bite with a look of both disgust and determination on her face, until she at last swallowed, looking like she was choking on the piece.

"If you can't eat it, don't you think it's better that we save it?" Regulus asked annoyed.

Lieve looked oddly at him. "If we don't eat now, we are going to regret it later," she told him.

"Nonsense." Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Ye have never done labour work one single day in ye'r life have ye?" Lieve asked.

"So what, this isn't exactly labour work," Regulus returned.

"I am telling ye, one time I didn't feel hungry in the morning, so I just started me day routine without food, bu' I am never ever going to do tha' again." She told in a grave tone. "Flop sweat, dizziness and near fainting, all because I was stupid enough not to eat, besides." She weighed the bread in her hand. "This is only going to be edible for one week tops."

Annoyed Regulus shook his head. "No, bread can contain itself indefinitely."

"Where on earth did ye come by tha' information?" Lieve asked. "I'll tell you, first it will become dry and impossible to chew or swallow, though still edible if you're desperate enough, but then it will mould, and ye don't want to eat tha, tha is unless ye'r stomach is good and strong." She looked a little at him. "Which I don't really think it is."

"Mould?" Regulus asked. "Isn't that something that only happens to old clothes?" He was thinking of the old closets which contained his mother's really old formal clothes, he had seen her scream in pure hysteria as some butterfly-like insects, which Regulus now knew was moths, had flown away and a stank had erupted out in the room, and his mother had screamed, at once Kreacher had appeared and explained to them that the clothes had moulded because the stasis charm laid upon it stopped working fifteen years ago.

"Ye'r telling me, ye have never seen bad food? A rotten vegetable? Expired meat? Moulded bread?" Lieve looked disbelieving at him. "Of course bread moulds, it'll get green and smell bad, and then ye'll get sick if ye tried to eat it, ye would. Ye see what is happening is that its fungus starting to grow on the food, and…"

Regulus felt sick all ready from the description, he wanted to return that she was lying to him, but the truth was that he didn't know... he had never been inside of a kitchen for more than fifteen seconds, and all of his life his food had just been served to him fresh and finished. He could tell salt from pepper, and that was all he knew about food, and he had to give credit where credit was due, she did sound like she knew what she was talking about, a bit too much; if he had any appetite before he certainly had none now as she finished the explanation. "Come on," he muttered sourly.

Lieve nodded, and they both disappeared beneath the invisibility cloak.

In the little kitchen in the basement it was empty, normally only the three house elves from the household ever as much as ate food in here, and usually as three meals were prepared a day at least one house elf was always in the kitchen. Today, though, the house was empty so Dinky was busy cleaning up in the attic, his mate Sipa trying to sort through the old items and their almost grown daughter Sipy also busy up there, it would soon be time for her to be given away and gain a household of her own. It was something she looked forward to but it didn't stop the three house elves to try and make this a day just the three of them together.

Lucky for Regulus who had already elegantly crawled in through the window and showcased his seeker skills by almost soundlessly getting from the window to the table and down on the floor.

It was even more lucky for Lieve that the house elves was far away, because she was a lot less graceful and stumbled right down on the floor where she landed on her bum and let out a groan as she rubbed her behind in pain.

Regulus rolled his eyes as he hushed her, and turned around to peer out of the door, not even offering her a hand to help her up.

Lieve had to grab the table to pull herself up and then wrapped the red scarf an extra turn around her neck, more than ever looking like either a street merchandiser or a vagabond in her patched up brown robe, the red scarf and the fiery bright hair as she drew a wand of simple robust strong design without any fancy carvings of any kind.

Regulus drew his own slender elegantly designed wand in dark oak, and felt how it rested in his hand; he could feel its core of a dragon heart string. As he carefully opened the door to peer through, "It's all right," he whispered.

Questioning, Lieve held forward the silvery invisibility cloak.

"Not now." Regulus shook his head. "Keep it ready if you hear foot steps, but now it would just be in the way," he told as he gestured towards the stair case and walked upwards until Regulus opened a door. "The trophy room," he informed, looking in. "Quick! See if you can find a cup with the sign of Helga Hufflepuff on it!" he urged opening the door.

Immediately they hasted inside of the room which was filled with shelves, and on those lots of crested things, all the way up to the ceiling. First Regulus and Lieve looked at each other, and then they jumped to each start at a wall.

Regulus started from the bottom, bending down on his knees looking at each artefact... there were lots of cups indeed, lots of small box's, glass, old photos, ancient quills, each thing that merely as much as resembled a cup he pulled out and looked all the way over in search of the Hufflepuff crest, suddenly his eyes fell upon a golden cup, filled with some sort of white powder, there were no crests on the sides of the cup, or at the bottom, perhaps inside? Regulus was just about to turn the cup around and have a look as a voice stopped him.

"REGULUS!" Lieve almost screamed. "DON'T!" Suddenly she was beside him and firmly took a grab on Regulus's wrist, looking at him with wide terrified eyes. "Tha's powdered Snackelshorn, that is!" she informed. "It explodes!" she explained. "Really easily!"

Regulus blinked. "How then do I see if there is a crest inside?"

"Cast Hipracti Tolento on it, and then carefully levitate it out." Lieve whispered as if she was afraid even a too loud voice would set the powder off.

Doing as he was told, Regulus cast the spell, and carefully levitated the powder, but there was no mark inside. "Damn," Regulus whispered, as he levitated it all back.

Lieve sighed deeply and relief before she turned back to where she had come from, in oppose to Regulus she had started from the top and crawled on the shelves to be able to gain a view of the things on the top. Regulus searched widely all-around the place, his eyes landed on another big cup and was just about to head that way. In the same moment there sounded a great bang.

Regulus jumped in the air and turned around, to see Lieve had fallen down on the floor, several object lying around her as she took herself to the head. "Ow."

"You _idiot!_" Regulus hissed.

"Sorry I fell down, that was very much on purpose," Lieve murmured.

"Don't you get it?" Regulus hissed annoyed "Now..."

He didn't get any further, before suddenly with a loud crack a house elf appeared looking at the two of them with huge brown eyes.

"Oh..." Lieve realised looking at the little creature that looked back at them. "Run then?" she asked.

"Don't be ridiculous," Regulus whispered in a low voice not taking his eyes off of the house elf. "It's impossible to run away from a house elf, simply impossible."

"Ye have experience with that sort of thing?" Lieve asked.

"I could observe in glee as Sirius tried and failed over and over," Regulus whispered. "There's no escaping a house elf… not ever..."

"We can't overpower him! That's inhuman!" Lieve exclaimed. "I won't attack him, look at him with his big eyes and… stuff..."

"Even if we did try an attack..." Regulus whispered in his serious tone. "We would fail... There's no winning over a loyal house elf..."

Lieve looked at the house elf swallowing nervously, before she suddenly frowned and straightened up. "Wait a second!" she looked at Regulus. "Hold on, ye are telling me, that within the first day we have failed because of one single house elf?" she asked. "Come on, you can't mean that!"

"Don't ever underestimate a house elf," was Regulus's response.

At last the little house elf blinked and then spoke. "Dinky only wishes Dinky knew what Master Black and his honour companion is talking about," he said. "And why Master Black did not merely knock at the front door as usual if he comes to visit. Master Black is also so very kind to the house elves of this house hold, he may always be welcome."

Regulus blinked lowering his wand.

"He is in the company of a fine Pureblood as usual, correct?" the house elf asked politely.

"Erh..." Regulus blinked. "Not exactly, she's just a gardener."

Lieve's mouth dropped open.

"And she's an animal catcher, very good with magical rats." Regulus continued. "She was supposed to identify some animals in here..." he hesitated. "For Bella... we are... almost done..."

"Will the honoured guests need refreshments then?" Dinky asked with a bowed head.

"No..." Regulus hesitated. "Just… go back to your business and we'll be out without you noticing... oh and erh... Don't tell Bella we were here, let it be a surprise," he instructed nervously.

"As the Master wishes." Dinky bowed his head, and then vanished with a loud crack.

Both Lieve and Regulus blinked vividly looking at the empty space the house elf had disappeared to and then Lieve looked at Regulus. "Rat catcher?" she asked. "The little guy had no trouble recognising me as nice companion and ye had to make me into a rat catcher?"

"Oh come on!" Regulus looked at her sourly. "House elves are nice and kind to everyone who was nice to them, but they are not stupid, as if you could ever be really mistaken for a fine Pureblood, if people saw you ten miles away no-one could be fooled to think you were a fine lady or even a companion to a fine wizard."

"Wha'?" Lieve gaped at him and weirdly enough started to slip her hand through her hair as to try and calm it flatter. "Ye... ye dinnae have to say... argh fine!" She gave up and just ruffled up her all ready messy hair. "Then I'm the rat-catcher!" she exclaimed going back to her.

"Shut up and get under the cloak!" Regulus hissed snatching the cloak away from her spreading it out.

"Bu' I thought we were in the clear." Lieve blinked.

"I really don't want to take any chances," Regulus responded covering her with the cloak, only to realise the cloak forced them to stand rather close. "Oi," he grunted as he rolled his eyes starting to move against the door.

Only to jump back as the door handle turned inches away from Regulus's hand, and they sprung aside pressing against the wall.

Just in time for Bellatrix to stomp inside. "REGULUS BLACK!" she called in as the little house elf stood by her foot. "Come out come out wherever you are!"

Lieve and Regulus stood pressed against the wall, the invisibility cloak just over them as Bellatrix stepped inside and then looked at all the items that had fallen down. "So there really was someone here," she whispered. "DINKY!" she screeched. "Help me find that filthy traitor and whatever trashy company he has, they can't have gotten far, they must still be in the house… "

"Yes mistress." The house elf bowed his head and then vanished with a loud crack.

Bellatrix frantically looked over the room; even over the exact spot Regulus and Lieve were standing. "I'll get you for this, traitor," she sneered, storming out with a raised wand.

Regulus didn't even say anything but just grabbed Lieve's hand and hurried out through the open door before someone closed it, then as Bellatrix had gone to the left Regulus pulled Lieve to the right.

"Where're we going?" Lieve whispered.

"Out," Regulus hissed. "Now shut up and just follow me. Can you do that?" he asked, annoyed, as he scouted.

There wasn't a response. "Did you hear me?" he hissed, still no answer. "Answer me!"

"Ye told me to shut up; I was nodding with all of me might," Lieve hissed back.

"You could have said yourself I wasn't looking," Regulus returned as they had reached the front hall, with view down to the door: a guarded door, a house elf standing in front of it holding up a magical barrier, which caused Regulus to immediately turn around and go back through the hallway in search of a window or something; never underestimate a house elf. He heard the footsteps and looked to each side, and then ran another three steps till he reached the staircase and ran down to the basement where he flung off the cape.

"I dinnae think there are any windows down here," Lieve whispered.

"Keep looking," Regulus answered in a breath and reached for the first door to open it, only to gain view to a secluded storeroom.

And Lieve started from the other end.

Regulus kept trying, opening door after door, and on the same time kept look out for the cup, but it didn't help.

"Urh… Regulus," Lieve's voice suddenly cut in.

"What?" Regulus hissed.

"Wha' am I supposed to do if I find the head of magical law enforcement gagged and bound on the floor?"

"Lieve, I don't have time for your metaphors right now," Regulus hissed.

"I dinnae try to mess around with ya, I just kind of found Barty Crouch senior..." Lieve told very quietly.

"_What?_" Regulus stopped up, and then looked at Lieve who was staring in through the door she had just opened, in a leap he walked over to her and looked wide-eyed at the picture, and true enough, in a little cold stone room, kind of like a cell, completely knocked out, was Barty Crouch Senior, lying on the floor, bound and gagged, and completely unconscious.

"Has he been reported missing lately?" Lieve asked confused.

"Not that I've heard," Regulus responded honestly. "And what is it... two months since he was at our school?" he asked.

"Aye," Lieve whispered. "What do we do? Release 'em?"

"We can't drag him with us," Regulus answered. "How could we? And... If he discovered us, our mission is in danger. We must get out of here."

"What mission?" Lieve asked. "Regulus, you are making this up, we don't have any mission!"

"CHECK THE BASEMENT!" Bellatrix voice suddenly sounded above them.

In an instant, Regulus reached for Lieve's shoulder and dragged her in throwing the cloak over both of them, closing the door, just in time for food steps coming down the stairs and Lieve and Regulus pressed them against the wall.

The door opened, and in came Bella, looking sourly around with squinted eyes, she took a couple of steps in, closer and closer to where Lieve and Regulus were.

Regulus bit his lip, he could feel Lieve tense, now Bellatrix was right in front of them, mere centimetres, and that was when Lieve out of no where, launched out, kicked Bellatrix's feet away from her, took away the wand and at last held Bella back in a full Nelson. It had all went so quick, in a blink of an eye that Regulus hadn't even had managed to register it at first.

"ARGH!" Bellatrix suddenly screamed. "How dare you touch me!"

"Regulus what are ye waiting for?" Lieve asked. "Give her the Veritaserum all-ready!"

"Oh, oh right." Regulus blinked and fumbled in his pocket.

"You are not making me drink that!" Bellatrix hissed "If you think that you're, HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Without warning, Lieve had placed a hand over Bellatrix nose and was now squeezing it.

"What?" Regulus looked confused at her.

"How me mom made sure I got me liver" Lieve told. "Now the Mrs may try to close her mouth but she won't be able to breath, she'll have to open eventually, just keep ready for it."

And Bellatrix was indeed holding her mouth closed as she looked madly at Regulus, but it went as Lieve had said, Bellatrix was losing focus from the air of oxygen, you could see her grow more and more unfocused, until at last her mouth opened and she breathed for air, Regulus did not waste a second stuffing the vial into her mouth and Bellatrix was forced to get it into her mouth, the moment Regulus got the vial out Lieve held a hand over Bellatrix mouth.

"NOW SWALLOW IT!" Lieve demanded. "SWALLOW!"

Bellatrix shook her head, But Lieve held on, and at last Regulus stepped forward and kicked Bellatrix over the knee making her gawk in surprise and swallowed in the process. Bellatrix's eyes widened, and she grew limp, Lieve just managed to catch her, and then slowly got the woman down on the floor. "Wow." Lieve blinked. "How much did you give her of that stuff?" she asked.

Regulus held the vial over his eyes. "I guess she sort of got half the bottle."

Lieve's eyes widened. "One single drop is enough!" she exclaimed. "Who knows what kind of damage this'll do! She could walk around being unable to lie for months!"

"And that's a bad thing?" Regulus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"If she is going to stay dormant like this for weeks it might be." Lieve commented. "I don't think her husband will be that mighty happy."

Regulus shrugged as he stepped over Bellatrix. "So." he said in a nonchalant tone. "Did you receive something from Voldemort to protect?" he asked.

"Yes," Bellatrix answered in a weird monotone.

"Is it a cup with the crest of Helga Hufflepuff?" Regulus asked.

"Yes," Bellatrix answered.

Regulus bowed over, facing Bellatrix very close. "Where is it?" he almost sneered.

"In my vault at Gringotts," Bellatrix answered, clearly not even seeing Regulus.

"Your key?" Regulus asked.

"In my pocket," Bellatrix answered and Regulus dug his hand down in her pocket and retrieved a little golden key.

"Regulus," Lieve barely whispered. "I dinnae like this... what are ye doing?" she asked. "Veritaserum? Stealing? Regulus, I... "

"Quiet," Regulus hissed. "Barty Crouch, Bella, how long has he been here?"

"Four months," Bella answered.

"That's since summer vacation!" Lieve exclaimed.

Regulus ignored her. "Who's posing as him?" he asked.

"I do not know," Bellatrix answered.

Regulus sighed as he finally stood up. "Well, time to go," he stated.

"And just leave her?" Lieve asked.

"She'll be fine." Regulus rolled his eyes. "Dinky will find her and take care of her."

Regulus looked upwards and squinted his eyes as he discovered the room was still lit up despite the door being closed, and the source was a little window above them. Silently he left Lieve and the cloak to look up, then he tried to reach but couldn't, the window was too high up. "Rats!" Regulus sneered to himself. "Lieve, come help," he demanded but there was no answer. "Lieve?" Regulus asked annoyed turning around.

Only to discover Lieve had found yet another prisoner, a way smaller one, so small she could carry it in her hands, tied as it was in what looked like bandages. "Argh, ye poor dear." Lieve spoke down to a gray parrot she was holding; her voice filled with way more compassion than ever before. "Who would do this to such a fine bird? Where did ye come from?" she asked in her softest most caring voice, gently scratching the bird under its beak.

Regulus growled. "Lieve! Leave that thing and come help here!" he snapped very annoyed.

"It's not an it, it's a she." Lieve made aware. "And very mistreated at tha, look at her feathers they are not looking well, I wonder how long she's been tied up and neglected down here. Who would do such a thing to such a pretty bird?" she asked.

"I'm pretty bird!" the Parrot scratched in an echo making Regulus growl and Lieve smiled in delight.

"I don't care" Regulus rolled his eyes. "Leave the bloody bird! I don't need _two_ parrots in my heels."

That made Lieve send him a genuinely annoyed glare. "Clever," she snapped and then sent a new look of concern down at the parrot. "There there, dinnae let tha idiot bother ye, I'll take care of ye."

"You're _not _taking that bloody bird!" Regulus sneered.

"Idiot," the bird responded actually looking back at Regulus. "Idiot, idiot."

Stunned, Regulus looked at it, then scowled very annoyed. "Oh shush, no wonder it teams up with you," he muttered annoyed.

"I told ye it's a she," Lieve told before turning to the bird, talking to it as if it was a real person. "And ye lay still now, I'll untie ye when we are out, but right now I need ye to be still pretty one," she informed the bird gently laying it in her backpack.

"It can't understand you." Regulus rolled his eyes as Lieve walked towards.

"How do ye know?" Lieve asked. "Dinnae ye think it's here for a reason? Why can't it be a magical sort of parrot?" she asked.

"Have you ever even heard of such a thing?" Regulus asked.

"Nay, I am way more familiar with European animals. But animals can hear the tone in ya voice and reacts to it, always." Lieve told before looking up at the window Regulus couldn't reach. "Give me a horse shoe." She requested in a very matter of fact voice.

"A what?" Regulus blinked.

"Fold ye'r hands like this." Lieve showcased by folding her fingers. "Then get down on ye'r knees, and remember to carry with ye'r knees not yer' back, in fact if ye can' it'll be practical if I can step on yer knee."

"What?" Regulus asked annoyed.

"Ye want to get out or not?" Lieve asked annoyed now with crossed arms. "Come on! Just give me the horse shoe all ready." She asked.

"Idiot." A parrot sound suddenly sounded from Lieve's backpack.

Regulus growled and at last did as he was told. "Like this?" he asked in an icing voice.

"I suppose that's fine." Lieve nodded carefully stepping up and reached for the window, straightening up. "I got it!" she triumphed having reached the window and then opened the hatch, to take a grip on the ledge and pull herself up, showcasing surprising agility as she slipped through.

"What about me?" Regulus hissed.

"Grab me arm." Lieve instructed as her head and chest came back through the window and her arm stretched down. "I'll pull you up!"

Regulus lifted an eyebrow. "You're sure you can?" he asked doubtfully.

"It's all abou' technic lass." Lieve informed. "Just grab the window ledge as soon as ye can!" she instructed

Hesitating and doubtful Regulus reached up and grabbed her arm, for her to grab his as well, in a surprisingly firm way, actually her hands bored into his arm with no mercy holding him tight. "Now jump!" Lieve instructed and Regulus did as told as she pulled him up to a level where he could reach the window frame, and with help, pulled he through as well.

"Come on!" Lieve jumped up on her feeds. "I'll say lets not stick around!"

Regulus hissed and headed for the bushes, the two of them running for a good while until the mansion was well out of sight and sound and that was when Lieve stopped. "Wait."

"What?" Regulus growled.

Lieve had taken off his backpack and with an emotion filled face gently took out the gray parrot. "How are ye pretty bird?" she asked gently.

"Auw auw." The bird answered. "Auw auw."

"Oh great." Regulus snorted as he crossed his arms. "Stuck on a noisy idiot bird."

"You idiot." The Parrot responded. "Idiot."

Regulus scowled. "Get that thing away from me!" he demanded.

"Ye know, it would suit you with a bit more tolerance for other things." Lieve responded flatly working with the knots tying the bird. "Ain't that right princess?" she asked the bird.

"Of cause." The bird answered. "Me pretty bird."

"You absolutely are." Lieve smiled as the ties finally feel from the bird. "There." She said.

"Thank you." The bird shortly answered and within a second stood on its feet's. "Pretty birds fly." It simply said.

"Wha?" Lieve asked but it went so quick, the gray parrot spread out its wings, and jumped from Lieve's arms to haul up in the wind.

"Pretty bird flies!" The parrot sang from way above, before circling one time around Regulus. "Idiot." It told and then flew away.

"Well." Regulus snorted. "YOU TOO!" he yelled after the bird all though it was all ready far gone. "Oh for crying out loud." He hissed to himself.

Lieve rolled her eyes. "Tha would ye deserved." She made away with a lifted eye-brow. "So London ye say?"

Regulus nodded grimly. "London."

"On foot?" Lieve asked.

"You know of any better option?" Regulus asked bitterly.

Lieve silenced, and then sighed. "Nay." She admitted to look up and around, at the massive forest they were in the middle off. "At least till we get out of this forest... ye know how big this forest is?" she asked Regulus.

"No idea." Regulus shrugged.

Lieve blinked. "Do you have any idea what direction London is?" she asked.

"No." Regulus answered impatiently. "Come on." He grunted moving forward.


	50. Falling apart

Everything.. god damn everything was crashing down on Lily, of cause it was left to her to tell all of the phoenix fighters, which had somehow grown to double the amount of people since the beginning of the year, that Regulus and Lieve was now gone, and none of them knew to where.

All though why only seemed to obvious as Lily had calmed down and had used her sleepless night to think it over again and again.

Somehow Regulus had gotten a lead regarding how to fight Voldemort and he was pursuing, why the hell he had not told Lily just annoyed Lily to no end! She had the right to know!

Jesus! She had told Regulus about the horecruxes the least he could do was to return the favour! Lily purely hated to be left out, and beside it worried it out of her mind, despite every-thing she was still senior to both Regulus and Lieve, why would do they such a stunt!?

And Some-how it nagged her that she had been equally guilty at letting the two out prior as well, but she brushed it out reasoning it was bloody good they had not been at that horrible ghastly werewolf run in, and then she shivered, it was indeed only good they hadn't been a part of that ghastly exsperience.. good lord, Lily did not dare think what might would happen to them.

* * *

"Regulus is gone?" Diane moped at her at the phoenix fighter meeting. "I mean I sure as hell wondered where he was the last couple of days, but I thought he was called home or something!"

"No.." Lily trailed off. "It's sort of complicated, but yeah he is gone out of his own free will."

"And you didn't tell me you ass!" Diane pushed to James who had been standing close to the short haired blond as Lily explained.

"Sorry." James snorted. "That things have happened and I have had a lot to think about."

"You thinking, that's different." Diane looked annoyed at him. "My classmate and team mate have gone to god knows where and you didn't think it was important enough to tell me you dickhead!"

James was just about to open his mouth to retort as Remus stopped him. "Prongs, calm it, don't do anything you will regret later."

And James bit back, before he at last swallowed. "I am really sorry Diane, I should have told you first thing."

Defeated Diane shook her head. "Your so impossible."

Sabrina one of the Rawenclaws seemed pretty shocked. "She's gone? She went away…." And her eyes widened. "She just ran away right? She didn't go out into battle? I mean she is really not the warrior type."

Lily lifted an eyebrow. "You are her dorm mate right."

Sabrina wetened her lips as she slowly nodded. "Yeah."

"Did you hear anything, anything at all." Lily then asked. "Any clues would do!"

"I.. I…" Sabrina swallowed. "it's her own fault!" she then stated in a clear voice. "I had absolutely nothing to do with it!" she exclaimed in a loud angry tone. "That that.. weirdo!"

people around gasped, Sirius growled. "Take that back." He demanded.

"NO!" Sabrina yelled. "I didn't know any-thing! Little freak."

Now Remus was growing annoyed as well as well as the others. "Sabrina, do yourself a favor and take it back or leave."

"But it's true!" Sabrina said. "I could never figure her out! She was such a little freak! Always messing about, have you seen the mess she leaves in the bathroom? It's horrible, and I never understand a word she says, she just so… so.. ARGH!" Sabrina angered. "Just like all of you! This club is stupid! Your all so stupid!"

Lily felt the anger boil up inside of her. "If you think that! Just leave!" she sneered. "Nobody asked you to come!"

"FINE I WILL!" Sabrina shouted. "And if anybody have any sense what so ever they will leave to! This club is just made out of stupid!" and she walked for the door to slam it after her.

"Merlin." Lily covered her face in her hand. "This is really not going to well."

"You know.." Mathew flint hesistated. "She does have a point.. this club is dead."

"what?" Lily looked up. "But."

"Think about it!" Claire Goyle stood with him. "Penelope died last year, Severus is gone possible dead, no one knows where he is, and now Regulus is gone to? I honestly don't know why I even met up!"

Lily looked sadly at them. "please." She begged. "If it weren't for this place I wouldn't know any of you people, I know now I can count of you should we need it, and I'ts not what Penelope would have wanted."

"Penelope is the past." Mathew then said. "She's dead, I think it's time to move on."

And surprisingly several people nodded.

"No you can't!" Lily walked around. "You can't just give up!"

"Seriously what's the point?" Esben one of the younger Slytherins asked. "Thursday after Thursday I come here and it's just as miserable! It's not helping, and things are difficult enough in our house."

"There's loads of points!" Lily defended. "This place has changed people.. like.. Like Sev! He had never tried to be happy, he never knew how it was to be able to be happy with people, and he was! And Penelope, she was happy to! Regulus would have turned dark was it not for this place but he didn't! and Lieve! She was all alone but then came this place! It really does make a difference!"

"All the people you just listed are _gone!_" Mathew retorted. "It's true I don't think we would have been in so much of a fight with our own house had it not been for this place, and as much as it's annoying." He bit his lip. "It's also right, I rather die than join you-know-who now, but this club have lost it's purpose! It's like stepping into a morgue every-time we go in here, just to remind us of them!"

Defeated Diane shook her head. "They right." She stated with sunken shoulders. "It was good while it lasted but now it's gone.. And it have been for a good while."

Like sand it was all slipping from Lily's fingers, she could physically fell how she was loosing all of them. "Please." She asked. "I know it's hard right now.. but if we could just.. It can't keep on being this bad it just can't"

But they all shook their head.

That was until Remus's head snapped up. "Hear that?" he asked.

"What?" James looked up.

"Something is boiling." Remus started.. "It's close."

Peter gulped. "Maybe we should move outside?"

Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "Why on earth would you say something like that?" he asked. "Gess Pete, something is boiling, it's nothing worth getting panicked about."

The look Peter had was kind of indistinctive, dreading.. frightened..

"Anyway." Lily waved them off. "Come on! Please! It's about breaking the circle."

"That already happened." Diane said surely. "We have broken to circle, Just look at my situation." She looked a little sheepish as she almost shyly reached for James's hand to grab it firmly, and James returned it in a smile. "And now we must move on." She at last said seriously.

"James, please." Lily looked at him. "Say something!"

he looked very defeated at Lily. "They are right, this thing have been dead a good while, and I only kept fighting because you believed so much in it, and wanted it so much but Lily." He looked sadly at her. "Please, just let it go."

And suddenly an edging sound cut through.. people looked upwards.

"LILY MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" Peter of all people jumped forward and pushed Lily away just in time for a big explosion to happen just above where she had been standing, sending several people flying through the air and dust appearing everywhere.

"PETER!" Lily just managed to yell as she rulled over and looked wide-eyed at where the chubby boy had pushed her away. And more things starting falling apart. "MOVE OUT! QUICK!" Lily yelled and dowed for Peter, only to discover that Remus and James was already there. She looked her over the shoulder to discover Katherine the third year seemed injured and rush to her aid to drag her out.

"Is everyone here?" Lily asked as they had come out of the room.

"Shit!" Sirius uttered. "What the hell?"

"Yeah I think we're are all here." James looked around. "Riight.. your okay?" He asked Diane right beside him.

"Oh so now your acting the gentleman?" Diane snorted. "Gee thanks, yeas I'm fine."

James smiled a little sheepishly.

"Peter!" Remus had dragged the boy out and now shoke him by holding his shoulders. "Peter are you all right? PETER!"

And at last Peter started shaking in coughs as he sat up straigt and coffed out, Remus patting him on the back, at once Lily sat down to help.

"Easy." Lily tried to say as she sat down in front of the boy. "God Peter thanks! That could have killed me."

"It… it was nothing." Peter coughed.

"No really, you maybe saved my life." Lily insisted-.

Peter swallowed. "It was really nothing."

"And I think that sets it." Diane sighed. "The world is sending us a message, now even the rooms a wreck, it's over."

Red checked Lily looked down.

"Come on." James then sighed. "Lets get those who needs it to the hospital wing, and then Lily, we go and report this."

"Of cause." Lily nodded. "Come on Peter." She together with Remus hauled Peter up. "Lets get you fixed up." And they supported Peter towards the stair case, though as they went past Lily saw it, the boyish blond with mad blue eyes.. grinning an amused intrigued smile.

"Lily ignore him." Remus instructed.

"But it's clearly.."

"I know, ignore him! Don't get all tempered now." Remus said surely. "We are going to tell Dumbledore."

"Of cause." Lily at last agreed. "Your absolutely right."

At last after having escorted a few people up in the hospital wing, and having immediately being questioned by madame Pomfrey about what happened, Lily found herself at Dumbledores office, with Remus, James, Sirius and Diane behind her.

Dumbledore looked very concerned, McGonagall and Slughorn also standing in the office.

"I am afraid it's only to obvious what happened." Dumbledore frowned.

"Somebody tried to kill us!" Sirius stated. "And it's probably the same people who tried to kill Regulus, James and me at the Quidditch match!"

Dumbledore looked sadly at her. "Of cause you are absolutely right."

"Sir." Lily looked at him. "We think it was Barty Crouch jr."

"Miss Evans." McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "That is quite an accusation to put out."

"Sir he is not right." Diane put in. "He keeps talking about how glad he is that Penelope is dead, he taunts us and he taunts people around him."

"Miss Diggory, since when was taunting the same as murder attempts?" McGonagall asked.

"It really does sounds like he have something going on when talks in the Slytherin common room sir." Diane at least stated. "Like he is putting out clues.. like he wants us to figure it out."

"Diggory do you have any prove of that?" Slughorn at last asked.

At last ashamed Diane had to shake her head. "No sir." She muttered.

"So your not going to do anything!?" Sirius barged. "Didn't you hear! He tried to kill us!"

"It's true." James nodded. "You can't let this pass sir!"

Dumbledore looked sadly at them. "I am afraid there is little that I can do, There is no proof, and if it turns out that you were wrong we would have destroyed the poor boys future for no reason."

"Sir." Lily looked at Dumbledore. "He is not a poor boy, there's something really wrong with him."

"_Miss Evans_." McGonagall snapped. "How is it you talk about your fellow school mates? Do try and show some consideration."

Lily turned read in her head as she looked down. "Yes sir." She at last muttered.

Dumbledore sighed. "As there seems to be little more to discuss and nothing to do, unless any of you have anything to add?" he looked at the people. "Why don't you go and calm your minds, I should like a word with miss Evans in private."

"Me sir?" Lily looked surprised at him. "Of cause." She uttered still surprised.

"Miss Evans please have a seat." He gestured as they were alone.

Silently Lily sat down starring at Dumbledore who looked seriously at her in return, little and index finger on his left hand looking oddly wildered. "oh this is nothing." Dumbledore assured as he noticed her strange look. "Probably wont even make any different the next thirty or so years."

"Erh.. okay."

Dumbledore sighed. "Miss Evans, I need to figure out what is happening with the students at my school, and I think you are the key to a great many answers."

Lily looked at him with furrowed brows.

"Mr Black and Miss O'Hara somehow managed to disappear, and I know neither of them have anywhere to go to, it's not a question of escaping with their families, Lily." He looked at her. "Do they somehow know about Horecruxes?" He asked in a deeply serious tone.

Lily gaped. "How?" she looked at him.. how did he know about that? Well Sev had told him with the Patronus obviously, but how did he know that Lily knew? He didn't even know that Sev knew unless. "You'v spoken to Sev!" she suddenly realised and then gaped. "Where is he!" she asked at once. "Is he okay?" she asked in an anxious voice.

Dumbledore looked sadly at her. "I can't say that I know where he is this very moment."

"So you do have contact to him!" Lily stated in a way to eager voice, almost unable to contain herself. "What is he doing? Where is he? Is he all-right? It's not to dangerous is it?"

"I can't tell you that. Any of it." Dumbledore sighed. "Not only is it confidential, but he have also urged that I don't include you."

"Please!" Lily begged. "Just let me know! Anything! Just a little detail, what… is he up to?"

Defeated Dumbledore shook his head. "Lets get back on track, please Lily." It was his turn to looking pleading at her. "Black and O'Hara, are they after Horcruxes?"

Red cheeked Lily looked down. And then nodded. "Yes..No.. I am not entirely sure, it's not like they told what they where going to do or even that they were going to leave.. but I think they are.. they do know." She swallowed. "Now please, tell me about Sev." She at last asked.

"He is fine." Dumbledore assured. "Just fine."

"Can you take me to him?" Lily asked.

Dumbledore shook his head.

"Please, I just want to see him." Lily pleaded. "And I want to fight to, to end this for good, no more killing, se we can life." She told pleadingly.

"Lily look." Dumbledore stated regarding her with ever so serious eyes, they were not patronizing in any-way, he spoke to her as a genuine equal, which was what made Lily listen in the end. "In less than half a year you will graduate, everyone who was involved last March are top targets with the death eaters, I am well aware of that, and as you will no longer be Hogwarts students, the only way for me to hold you close and help you is to let you be a part of the fighting, and if that is what you want I see no reason to deny it to you. However." He looked seriously at her. "For now you must concentrate on your school! Graduate, it will only be mere six months, get your grades and then join our fight."

"But then it's maybe all ready to late." Lily looked pleadingly at Dumbledore. "Sev doesn't value his life as much as he should, and he is even tired of it. He is really willing to sacrifice himself if he thinks it brings something so please, just let me help.. if I could just talk to him."

"Do you yourself think that would make any difference?" Dumbledore asked. "If you stood face to face with him right now? Would it make him change his mind?" Dumbledore looked sternly at her, It was not a disbelieving look or anything.. in fact.. Lily had the impression that what ever she said now, Dumbledore would seriously consider it, his blue eyes piercing her.. tracing her face for her genuine answer.

Lily was just about to open her mouth to yell a loud yeas! But then turned silent.. ashamed she looked down. "He is just to stubborn." She mumbled. "To obsessed." She swallowed. "I just want to see him."

"You really do care about him." Dumbledore commented in a sad smile. "That does warm an old mans heart to witness, have faith dear child."

Lily exhaled. "I'll try, he'll come when the time is right." She stated. "He got to.. when the time is right, and I'll be here."

Dumbledore looked sadly at her. "Concentrate on your school." He instructed. "Graduate, and I promise, If you want to fight, you can be at a place where you are much needed and will fight _after_ your graduation."

Lily raised an eyebrow, sending a look clearly saying she didn't quite believe him.

Dumbledore smiled amused. "The way I see it the lot of you are going to get into trouble no matter what as soon as you have graduated, you are all determined to do it on your own." He sighed. "And I don't see why not putting all that passionate, willingness and bound to be disaster as well, at a organised place where it will actually do some good, So I do mean it. I would much rather have you included in my affairs where things are planned and organised than seeing you run around on your own where we would bump into each other anyway. But for now, concentrate on your school."

Lily took a deep breath, keeping back her flaring temper and annoyance over being clearly left out and deemed worth nothing more than a child, ones, before she at last nodded, determined to not act as a child any-more. "Okay." She said at last. "I will do that.. but can you at least give a message to Sev when you see him?" she asked.

"It would be my pleasure." Dumbledore nodded.

"Tell him.." Lily sighed as she searched her mind for the right words. "Just tell him that he is greatly missed, not just by me but by every-one, and that.." she trailed off before looking surely up. "Tell him that he is not alone, not ever. We are more who are with him in thought, and we all stand behind him, whether he likes it or not, and tell him, that it's not out of duty, but just because we care and the we want to.. I want to, I miss him. And he is right when he said I am not very patient, but he should know I am loyal as well and when I took a decision I am going to stand by it, I'm here for him, I've decided to be here for him, always, and it's my own decision, he cannot take it away from me no matter how hard he tries, if he'll ever need me, he'll know where to find me."

Dumbledore nodded a vague smile on his lips. "I will be sure to give that message personally." He smiled lightly. "I am sure Severus will appreciate it greatly."

Lily looked darkly out in the room.. she really wouldn't be that sure that Sev's reactions were going to be exactly happy.. if anything the dumbass would probably be snapping at Dumbledore for good measure.

Feeling as lousy, annoyed and angry as ever Lily finally left to office to wander the hall ways of Hogwarts.. thoughts swirling her mind and giving her a head ache.. the club, Sev.. Regulus and Lieve.. the Marauders… the Slytherins.. since when did everything become so complicated?

"Oh there you are." A boyish voice sounded. "So you weren't killed, that's great."

Lily froze as she turend around and saw the smiling Barty crouch.

"It was you, just admit it." Lily swallowed.

"Me!?" Barty thickly acted surprised. "Why on earth would you say something like that? I am just trying to show concern."

"Well don't!" Lily retorted. "Just stay away from me!"

"Poor Black and O'Hara." Barty shook his head. "They are sure not going to last long, what a waste."

"Shut it." Lily demanded.

"But if they are lucky, maybe they even run into Snape!" he grinned at her. "Wouldn't that be a dream scenario for the ages?"

"Just leave me alone." Lily bit together.

"Severus.. he does seem like such a dark wizard doesn't he?" Crouch reflected. "I mean everything about him just shines dark! But then I guess he have his redeeming qualities.. I am sure you can tell me all about them.. hm.. but he does seem to fitt well with the dark lord." Crouch seemed to excited as he got side tracked. "The Dark lord, what a lord he is! So powerful or you should see! Snape doesn't see it no.." he squinted his eyes. "He doesn't disserve it, the day the Dark Lord will kill him, personally as he planned.. that is sure going to be a fun day."

And Lily pinned Crouch to the wall by holding him in his school uniform. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" she asked. "What is going through you god damn mind!? Your insane! Voldermort is insane! And you are both evil." She looked right into his eyes which looked back at her, though without fear, in fact, without any emotion what so ever, still he smiled and more than any-thing that made Lily both sick and angry as she spoke. "Know this, I am going to fight you, fight you to the end! You are not going to hurt the people I love, not one of them! Do you even understand love Crouch? Have you ever even tried it?" she tried to calm down her raging pulse. "Know this, I do love Sev, I have always loved him in one way or another, even when it was hard and we were moving apart I still loved him, that was why he was able to hurt me so much at all, why I could be so angry, why I can still be so angry.. one thing is seeing a stranger go astray, it makes you sad but that is all, seeing some-one you love doing it, It hurts like an ice-blade in your heart and makes you angry, that is how I felt and how I feel now. And I will continue loving him." She swallowed. "He wont die, not if I have anything to say about it."

Crouch looked unimpressed. "So are you in love with the picture you created of him? You never feel the doubt? That you are just a child and don't see it.. That he may be… dark?"

"Doubt?" Lily asked. "Recently I discovered.. I were a child and my thoughts of him rather childish as well, but now I am quite sure, there is not a single doubt in my mind."

Crouch smiled triumphantly.

"That he is a _very_ dark wizard." Lily told.

And Crouch eyes widened in surprise as his smile was wiped off, clearly he had not expected that from Lily.

"If you just knew, the dreams Severus Snape dream in the night.. all that blood and dying." Lily whispered as she still held Crouch up against the wall. "All that desperation, all that begging for just a little mercy, but not out of his mouth, the people around him.. dark? Oh so very dark.. Only an idiot would not be scared of Severus Snape.. I'm scared of him to.. terrified, only it took me a while to realize I should be, it was naïve and childish of me not to be, even Voldemort is scared as he very well should be... and so should you.. I am not your concern Barty Crouch jr.. not in the slightest.. _He_ is.. harm me and he'll hunt you down without mercy.. if Voldemort. A man without passion or raw emotions are so many peoples worst nightmares. Then think about a man with just as much power but filled with burning passion.. nothing will get in his way in that situation.. be afraid Barty Crouch junior." She whispered. "Be very afraid."

And she let go of Crouch, straightened her own uniform.

Crouch smiled a sweet smile at her. "Funny way to prove your loyalty considering your current situation." He drawled.

Lily bit back her anger. "Oh, you have no idea." She whispered in a even tone looking at Crouch with shining green eyes that seemed to be penetrating the dark. "I told you that I love him.. I do.. I love him, I hate him and I am terrified of him, all on the same time.. That's three times as many emotions as you ever had.. a hundred times many emotions Voldemort ever had." She turned around and started to walk down the hall-way. "In other words.. don't fuck around with me or my friends Crouch." Was her last words as she walked away.


	51. Meeting with the other world part 1

Regulus groaned annoyed as he walked.. for five days, freaking five days! And that machine driving right behind him just wouldn't stop! It was enough to drive any-one insane!

"Back then in the fifteen century, middle ages, it was the magical world tha was dominant not the other way around, can ye just imagine." Went the continues flow of Lieves voice talking of everything and nothing. "There must have been ten times as many creatures walking around, muggles were dependent on local wizard and witches to keep e'm safe as they cannae defend themselves against dragons or trolls.. or ye know what-ever.. and then the church came and out of no-where called witches and wizards evil, even though they had protected the muggles, that was when the pagt of hiding began and we as a race decided not to interact with muggles any-more."

Regulus grumbled and hissed under his breath. "Didn't I tell you to keep quite not an hour ago?" he asked annoyed.

"Urh.." Lieve halted. "Aye.." she then muttered. "Ye did."

_"Then keep quiet!" _Regulus hissed.

"All right.." Lieve muttered. Some moments went past as they continued just walking, and then suddenly. "That Christian church really is behind a lot of why so much wizard history is lost or has been hidden away."

And Regulus groaned annoyed as he smacked his head.

"We are walking a stray again." Lieve informed, and started to go a little more to the left. "We dinnae want to walk in circles."

"How the hell can you even tell we are not walking in a straight line?" Regulus asked annoyed.

Lieve looked at Regulus and then she turned to the tree. "The moss." She informed pointing at one of the tree strunks.

"What about it?" Regulus asked annoyed.

"It always grows on the east side of the tree's." Lieve told. "As the sun always rises in the east tha' is where the first sunlight comes from it is, and the one the mos uses to grow, the moss was on five o'clock as we started walking, which means we are going west, slightly north west."

Regulus blinked stunned looking at the moss a new, and then on all the surrounding trees to discover the moss were indeed on the same side on all of them. "How would you even know that?" he asked.

"I used to go hunting for both herbs and animals with me dad back in time." Lieve told. "sometimes some of our own animals got loose and we had to capture them, so it was vital we dinnae get lost."

"Oh please, and next thing you'll be telling me how to see the clock without a watch?" Regulus asked rolling his eyes.

Lieve shrugged pulling a knife from her pocked to throw it at the ground so the blade bit down in the earth itself standing upright. "It's after noon, I would say a bit above four o'clock." Lieve told.

"Oh come on, that's ridicules, how could you possible tell?" Regulus asked annoyed.

"I know from the tree east is that way." Lieve pointed. "Or I could just look at the sun, and the shadow of the knife tell me the rest, see if it's there." She pointed. "It would be an hour after noon, if there is no shadow it is noon precisely. Me dad taught me."

Regulus sighed deeply. "Do we have more bread?" he asked. "Starting to get a bit hungry."

"What is left is kind of dry." Lieve told honestly as she bowed down and took her knife, before reaching down in her bag. "And we should eat something different soon.. maybe if we break off earlier today I could set up a rabbit trap or something.."

Regulus's stomach was turning by the mere thought of having to eat a forest rabbit, also he had a nagging suspesion she intended cook such a thing under open fire, making it covered in dirt, sod and smoke, all of which made Regulus's stomach turn, he really missed the nice prober arranged food back at Hogwarts! "No thank you." He hissed.

"Okay." Lieve murmured reaching a lump of bread towards Regulus. "This is the last we got."

Regulus sighed. "You know I was thinking, we have been walking in a straight line for five days, how much more forest can there be left? What if we don't rest and just keep walking to we get out and rest then."

"I'm not entirely sure tha.." Lieve hesitated.

"Great! Come on!" Regulus turned back and started to walk.

And walk the continued.. just walking ford and ford and ford.. through the long woods.. with nothing happening. That is of cause until Lieve started talking again.. but Regulus had decided now just to ignore and keep looking straight forward.. also as it became dark ones more, what they had done the other nights was casting a shielding spell on the ground, which ensured no animals came in, and then pull up cloaks and blankets to sleep after a long day of exhausting walking, Regulus had made sure to do that shielding thing as he had been shocked beyond belief by finding a snake crawling way to close behind him.

Lieve had simply taken the snake with her bare hands and thrown it away rather unimpressed, but Regulus swore never to have a snake that close to himself ever again.

Now how-ever as it became dark he just kept on walking, even as it became hard to see he just kept on walking forward with a grim face expression, before he at last used his wand to light the way with Lumos.

And still all that bloody talking! It was incredible! Simply incredible? Could Lieve ever empty out of subjects for god's sakes! Why couldn't she just be quiet!?

And then suddenly.. out of now-where.. she was.. completely quiet.

Regulus blinked and looked up to where Lieve was a little in front of him.

She had stopped up. And now stood completely still, blinking vividly as she looked at what-ever was right in front of her.

"What is it?" Regulus sighed annoyed as he tried to get up beside her, and then saw what she looked at, right at her booted feet's was a piece of of the forest ground covered in gray, and it continued in either direction endlessly until Regulus's could see any longer. "It's a drive-way." he commented.

"A wha?" Lieve blinked.

"Muggles drive their cars on it."

"Their wha?" Lieve asked again, genuinly confused yet clearly intruqied.

"Come on, it's the seventies not the seventy century." Regulus snorted. "Muggles transport themselves in cars, those big noisy thingies."

"Oh.. those." Lieve blinked. "But.. how do ye know tha'?" Lieve asked. "I mean, ye grew up a full-blood wizard right?"

"I grew up in the middle of London city, I had view to the muggles from my room, but that was it." Regulus told. "But really, this is just stupid, you should know at least some things."

"I've grew up on the country side of a magical farm." Lieve informed. "The first train I ever saw was the Hogwarts express as I flooed to Kings Cross.. That's all I've ever seen.. my farm, the local village, which was consistent of magical people, Hogwarts, Hogsmead.. Diagon Ally. And a lot of country side around Europe.."

"Well, now at least we know we are getting some-where." Regulus told stepping out on the road and started walking. "And by the way.. I thought you had muggle heritage, that's why the death-eaters went for your dad right?" he asked.

"Erh.. not exactly.." Lieve hesitated. "Look, it dinnae matter."

"What-ever." Regulus shrugged and started walking.

Lieve how-ever starred at the road, then carefully stepped on it, as to ensure nothing happened, before she finally stepped all the way out, and then jumped on it as to test it, before starting chuckling. "A drive-way ye say?" she asked in a wondrous tone.

Regulus did the usual and didn't answer as he just continued in a fast pace and Lieve hurried up to catch up with him. "So this is actually just another kind of stone road aint it?" Lieve asked. "I wonder how they make them, ye have any idea? I mean.. with no magic to their disposal, how on earth did they make this?" she asked gesturing downwards.

Regulus blinked, and then frowned. "I have no idea." he mumbled.

"Maybe of they melted special stones." Lieve started mussing. "But then the place they throw it at has to be all ready flat.. how did they do tha? Must be creative them muggles."

"Lieve." Regulus stopped her. "What is the current arrangement."

"I erh.. keep quiet." Lieve mumbled.

"Or?" Regulus asked.

"Ye leave me on the spot, but tha' actually be kind of stupid of ye." Lieve pointed out. "Forgive me, but can ya even set up a rabbit trap now that we dinna have food?" she asked. "I am the one able." She told soundring rather annoyed.

"a shame you are not able to keep your mouth." Regulus mumbled beneath his breath.

"ARGH!" Lieve suddenly screamed bumping into Regulus.

"What?" Regulus asked twirling around pointing with his wand.

"Want on earth.." shaking Lieve lifted a finger. "Is tha'?" she asked pointing at two bright lights coming closer to them.

"It's a car." Regulus explained impatiently. "Those things Muggles transport themselves in remember?"

"Oh." at oneas Lieve looked a lot more interested, genuinely interested. "I just… never saw one so close and in the dark.."

"And if we stay on this road, which I plan to, you'll see a lot more." Regulus grunted walking forward. "So don't act all misty eyed."

"Urhm Regulus.." Lieve hesitated keeping pretty close to him.

"What?" Regulus hissed.

"That thing.. it's slowing down.. I think.. I think it's stopping."

_"What!" _Regulus hissed.

"It's stopping!" Lieve pressed up against Regulus. "What do we do? I've never talked to a muggle before!"

"Neither have I!" Regulus hissed. "Just shut up, and let me lead the word." he demanded as the car had stopped in front of them.. and the window was rolling out to reveal the face of a middleaged man with a brown moustache and big glasses.

"What on earth are two kids making out on the road in the middle of the night?" he asked politely. "There has to be hours of walk to the nearest village, and there's been talk of several attacks in these woods lately, it's not exactly safe."

"Look.. sir." Regulus hesitated. "We erh.."

"Two kids, a young man and young woman alone in the woods, don't think I don't know." The man smiled a little defeated. "Those flower movements are getting to your kids heads, now tell me, are you two completely alone out here, or are there others to look out for you?"

"Flower movements?" Regulus asked confused.

Lieve shrugged not knowing what he was talking about.

"So, are you two alone then?" The man asked.

"Erhm.. Aye.." Lieve swallowed. "Just us minding our own buisness, no worries."

"Look, there has really been found bodies around here lately, people have vanished, I don't fell comfortable just leaving you." the man said seriously. "What if I gave you a ride to the nearest village?" he asked. "There's a landlady there ready to rent out rooms."

"Oh erh.." Regulus hesitated. "Is the nearest village on the way to London?" he asked.

"London?" the man responded in a surprised voice as he asked. "The devil we are a far way from London."

"We are?" Regulus asked honestly surprised.

"if you are planning to go there on foot it will take you weeks, in a bus though, it's a days travel." The man offered kindly. "Some-times a hippie bus comes around, they are always happy to give a ride."

"Hippies?" Regulus asked confused. Lieve looked just as confused as he did.

"So do you young people want a lift?" the man asked with a raised eyebrow.

Regulus and Lieve looked at each other, then shrugged.

"Okay then." Regulus hesitated looking slightly nervous.

"Deeply appreciated mayte." Lieve grinned and then stopped.. looking confused at the car. "How do we get in?" she whispered to Regulus.

Regulus sighed reaching for the door handle and then crawled inside, but couldn't help but stare at the unfamiliar souroundings, fell how the car rumbled beneath him, and the fact that the man was looking oddly at them.

And then Lieve came in looking at it all completely wide-eyed, trying to take it all in as she carefully closed the door behind her. "Regulus, I think ye should put the wand away." She whispered into Regulus ears, glancing at how the man was starring.

"Oh." Regulus realised blushing deeply as he fumbling tried to get his wand into his balt beneath the cloak.

"Could you please close that door again?" the man in the drivers seat suddenly asked. "It isn't closed probably."

"Oh erh.." Lieve opened and closed the car door again a little more firmly.

"You'll have the smack it in." the man suddenly informed. "Use force, afraid this car is a bit old."

"Really?" Lieve asked blinking, and then did as she was told so finally the door smacked and was firmly closed, and the car started to drive..

Wide-eyed Lieve starred out of the window, having her hands up against the glass half of the time.. and Regulus.. was really fighting the urge to do the same thing.

"You look weird." a childs voice suddenly sounded and Lieves eyes snapped to the brown haired boy sitting at the other front seat, having turned around to look at them.

"Jonas, go back to sleep." the man instructed.

"They woke me." the child defended. "Are you scottish or something?" he asked looking at Regulus. "Is that why you are wearing a dress?"

"What?" Regulus looked stunned at the boy. "I'm not wearing a dress! He hissed it's a.. a.." he couldn't say wizards robe.. the first law that was ever taught to any wizarding child was to keep the wizarding world a secret from muggles, what-ever the cost. "It's just a robe." he muttered.

Lieve chukled down in her hand. "I actually never thought of it tha' way before." she muttered.

"And what are you wearing?" the boy asked looking at Lieves patched up practical wizards robe. "You're from a renaissance fair or something? Did you play rat-catcher."

Lieve gaped. "Again with the rat catcher?" she asked.

"Don't tell me you don't have tricks in how to capture rats?" Regulus asked with a lifted eyebrow.

"Tha is so beside the point." Lieve exclaimed. "Beside if ya don't get them out they'll spoil your storage!" she told with wide spread out arms.

"You must excuse Jonas." the man sighed. "He has a very active imagination."

"That's fine." Regulus mumbled as he crossed his arms, even though he didn't say it it was clear he was adding "Little brat." Inside of his mind.

"Fine? Children should have lots and lots of imagination, tha' is wonderful!" Lieve smiled at the kid in a much more friendly tone.

"So, who is it I collected at the rout?" the man asked midly interested.

Regulus didn't seemed like he was one wanting to Talk, so Lieve took it upon herself to be friendly. "I'm Lieve O'Hara and tha's Regulus Black." Lieve presented.

Regulus squinted together. "You didn't have to give him our real names." he whispered so silently only Lieve could hear, yet annoyed and dangerous enough to point out what a huge mistake she had just made.

"Oh." Lieve realised.

The man blinked. "What unusual names." he commented. "I don't think I ever heard anything quite like those first names.. O'Hara is irish though isn't it? I must admit it, I was trying to guess whether you were Scottish, Wales or Irish, I am not so good at telling the heavy country accents apart."

"Oh aye." Lieve nodded. "Irish through and though and proud."

"Every last little inch of her." Regulus mumbled annoyed.

"So and Irishman and a Scotsman?" Jonas looked at the two. "How weird."

"I'm _not _Scottish!" Regulus hissed. "Do I sound the least bit Scottish? I'm a Londoner if you please."

"What's wrong with being Scottish?" Jonas blinked.

"Urh…" Regulus blinked. "Nothing!" he then hissed. "I'm just _not_ Scottish."

"Jonas, be nice." the man instructed. "You wouldn't like to be called Swedish now would you?"

"That would be weird since I don't even speak the languet." the boy muttered.

Lieve seemed to be beyond fascinated with the two people in front of her and bowed forward where she suddenly meet the boys eyes, curiously the two look at each other putting their head askew as if something was really odd and fascinating. "Jonas." Lieve whispered very silently. "I wondered if ye could to me something."

"What?" The boy asked.

"The road.. how is it made?" she asked fascinated.

"I don't know.. cement I think." The boy answered as he blinked.

"Cement?" Lieve asked. "What is that?"

"That stuff you use to build roads with." Jonas told a little stunned. "What is it you are wearing?" he asked looking at her long brown shabby robe. "What is that thing he had? That stick." he asked hinting at Regulus.

"Oh erh.." Lieve blinked. "A erh.. just a stick. He was just holding a stick.. and this is just a robe.."

"You two are weird." Jonas told honestly.

"Well.. you to." Lieve returned.

"How on earth am I weird?" Jonas asked.

"What are you talking about how are ye weird?" Lieve asked. "That clothes." She gestured at Jonas's superman hoody, jeans and snickers. "What ye know.. tell me.. how does this thing even move forward?" she asked pointing downwards at the car, sounding genuinely intriuqed.

"I don't know.. something to do with gasoline and a motor." Jonas told. "Why would you even ask that?" he asked. "It's just a car."

"Just a car?" Lieve whispered. "See, that's what makes ye strange."

"You are the one to talk." Jonas returned.

It was not to long before Lieve and Regulus found themselves in the unknown surroundings of a muggle city in the middle of the night as the car slowly drew in, both Regulus and Lieve stunned into silence as they looked around from inside of the car.. and it slowly started to slow down again as a group of people came into view, the man, Albert, who drow the car slowly took down the window ones again to stick his out outside. "Elisabeth." He called out to one of the group if people. "What's going on."

"Betty is missing." A woman with long curly brown graying hair came over. "And no one can find her."

"Oh no not another one." Albert sighed.

"Where did you come from?" Elisabeth asked.

"Twenty miles back, Agatha town, I didn't see her on the road, only these two." He pointed over his shoulder at Lieve and Regulus. "Picked them up fifty minutes back, they were wandering alone in the forest."

Regulus and Lieve blinked stunned at the woman.

"You are lucky." The woman addressed them directly. "People have been attacked and hurt around these parts lately, there's even been a.. death." She at last admitted. "Have you seen a young woman, blue eyes light brown hear, pretty features?"

they booth shook their heads.

"Sorry mam." Regulus told politely. "We were just alone."

"Do you have any-where to go?" the woman asked.

"No.." Regulus hesitated.

"I was taking them to the Mrs's Bakers resting place." Albert informed.

"Oh that is no good, Mrs' Baker is out looking with the rest of us. I don't know where she is and she got the keys" Elisabeth told honestly.

Albert sighed deeply. "Seems like you are going to my hous then." He informed. "There is no way you are going to be out here in the middle of the night kids."

"Tha is very kind sir." Lieve nodded.

"Very." Regulus nodded and then leaned over to Lieve. "The moment he lets us out we run." He whispered.

"Why?" Lieve returned back with wide eyes. "I mean think abou it, he's offering us a warm place to sleep.. secluded and safe so we can get rested… possible food.. and _driving _to London.. that's a pretty sweet deal if ye ask me.. I want to stay a bit."

"They may start asking questions, after all he all ready did." Regulus's gray eyes hinted at Jonas. "Or get suspicious, we should move."

"Aren't ye just a little curious?" Lieve asked. "To see what a muggle life like?"

"Why would I ever be the least bit curious about that?" Regulus snorted with crossed.

"Well erh.." Lieve hesitated. "Always good with a new perspective aint it?" she asked. "And erh.. Penelope was muggle born." She barely whispered, and yet it was enough to make Regulus's eyes widen. "Wouldn't ye want to kind of know… what kind of world she came from?" Lieve asked.

Regulus bit his lip. "I rather not remind myself." He gritted.

"Hurt that much huh?" Lieve asked.

As always when that particular subject came up, Regulus face darkened and he silenced.

"She would like you to see and discover." Lieve pointed out.

"That's a dirty card to play." Regulus murmered with crossed arms. "Very dirty, and I don't walk around reminding you what your parents would have wanted, so please refrain from playing that card."

"ye never met me parents so how would ye ever be able to tell?" Lieve asked her sky blue eyes shining up a little unnatural.

At last Regulus sighed as he had to resign. "Fine.. but tomorrow morning we are out at ones." Regulus sighed. "And this is only because we do need rest a place that is safe, one prober night sleep could make us that much faster in the morning, and maybe we can load up on the way."

Lieve gaped. "Ye mean.. stealing?" she asked disbelieving. "Bu' he is overly kind! Giving us shelter and a drive, it's just wrong."

"How else are we going to get food?" Regulus asked annoyed.

"We'll think of something." Lieve insisted. "This stealing habbit should nayte becoming ye."

"What stealing habbit?" Regulus asked.

Lieve glanced down at the bag Regulus was holding in his arms.. containing a invisibility cloak and a bottle of vetarasium.

"That's different." Regulus hissed. "I was going to give it back."

"How would you able to give the potion back if ye used it?" Lieve asked.

"It's worth it." Regulus told sharply.

"I'm nayte all that sure.." Lieve sighed as the car pulled in.

"Not backing out are you?" Regulus hissed. "Cold feet's."

"Nay.. of cause not." Lieve mumbled. "But I think perhaps ye.." she halted.

Lieve looked rather shocked at Regulus. "Nay." She whispered. "I just.. something fells odd.. in me chest, it's just nayte right."

"If you are not one hundred percent sure you're out." Regulus snorted as the car stopped and he opened the door to walk out with straight back.

Lieve hopelessly looked after him, and then swallowed as she closed her eyes and stepped out as well.

Regulus felt very ill at ease as he stood inside of the Muggle home, all ready they had taken far to long, they should just get to London all ready! He hissed grimly as he glanced around at the lights, which burned with something else than fire, something that Regulus didn't recognise, round glass like things, it was all incredible unnerving and unfamiliar, and Regulus did not particularly fancy it even though Lieve seemed fascinated, and that did not help.

"Regulus come look at this!" her voice sounded from another room where she had disappeared into.

Filled with dread Regulus moved towards it to find himself in what he supposed was the kitchen, judging from stove and Lieve held some kind of cylinder in her hand as she intrigued looked it over. "This is a can!" she exclaimed. "And there's food inside of it, they call it canned food! What will they come up with next!"

Regulus just starred bewildered at her as Jonas made his way back and looked oddly at Lieve who looked down at Jonas. "How long can the food last inside of these things?" she asked.

"Long." Jonas responded honestly. "Mom says it can stay in the drawer for years and actually still be eatable that's why it tastes so dull, and it's cheap and easy so dads uses it a lot when he comes late home from work."

"Ye heard that?" Lieve asked. "This is the stuff we should back up in our backpacks, would solve a lot of problems for us, it's ingenious!"

Still Regulus just looked oddly at her and then at the can as if it was the freakiest thing he had ever seen, Jonas just looked at Lieve as were she insane and then cleared his throat. "Your hungry?" he asked. "Dad said I should ask."

"We have not eaten probably for five days, anything would be most kind." Lieve responded in a slightly smile.

His eyes never leaving Lieve Jonas went for what looked like a big white closet and opened it to look inside. "There seems to be potato soup left form earlier, we can warm that." And as he spoke Lieve had found her way to his shoulder and fascinated looked inside.

"Regulus look at this, it's a closest which is cold inside, how's it done? That's so smart food can contain itself way longer that way, like winter where we leave some of it out in the snow."

Jonas blinked and the frowned as he turned around looking up at Lieve. "You are not really from any-where even near this place are you?"

"Nay, Ireland, east country side." Lieve told.

"Remind me never to go to Ireland." Jonas blinked.

"Why?" Lieve asked back stunned.

"You're so strange." Jonas told honestly. "Really strange!"

Meanwhile Regulus actually had picked up the canned food and turned it in his hand frowning at the objects, closely looking it over. "There's no food in here you're pulling my leg." He stated surely. "How would you even get it in there? It's impossible!"

And Jonas starred at Regulus with equally odd eyes.

"how do they keep the closet cold inside?" Lieve shrugged. "They can do all sorts of things without.. ye know what."

"It's a fridge." Jonas interrupted them.

"A wha?" Lieve blinked as she looked at Jonas.

"It's not a closet, it's just a fridge." Jonas told as he just took the soup and put the pot on the stove. "I'm erh.." he slowly backed away. "Going to see what dad is doing!" and he almost twirled around in his haste to get away.

Lieve blinked. "Ye think we freaked him out?" she asked Regulus.

"You did perhaps." Regulus murmured now cross-examination the can with squinted eyes scratching it with his finger. "You're the weird one, and there's no food in this thing!" he stated ones more annoyed slamming it down on the table with a sour expression. "And I'm sure there's a very logical explanation for that thing!" he gestured at the fridge.


	52. Meeting with the other world part 2

Next morning as Lieve had been allowed to sleep in the guest room and Regulus on the couch, had they also been invited to breakfast, and the air around the breakfast table were just stunning, Jonas was just starring at the two and Albert tried gently tell the son to stop, the wife, a nice looking woman with aubern hair by the name of Natalie had joined, but also she had trouble looking away from the two. At last she was the one to break the silence. "So you'll be on your way again today?" she asked in a honest attempt of a polite tone.

"Yes." Regulus told. "We don't want to be more trouble, so we'll just be on our way."

"It's no trouble." Natalie told in a still very stunned voice. "The forest are very dangerous at current time."

"They say people have vanished." Lieve hesitated.

Albert sighed. "Yeas, ten people thus far, only two found again and they were dead."

Lieve blinked. "That's horrible, any idea what happened?"

"Wish I did." Albert sighed. "Then firstly I would feel a lot safer, secondly my job would be a whole lot simpler."

"Dad is a police officer." Jonas whispered.

"Explains the uniform." Regulus mumbled looking at Alberts light blue shirt.

"So there's a killer on the loose?" Lieve asked as she swallowed. "Sir, ye dinnae need to worry about tha, we have ways to defend ourselves against such a scenario."

"Wer'e not even sure that it is a killer." Albert confessed. "Because, with the two people we found we still lack a cause of death, I mean they are quite dead but we don't know how, there's no signs of violence or abuse, no signs of beating or organ failure, nothing, It's as if they just dropped dead for no reason."

Both Regulus and Lieve silenced, and then looked at each other in realisation, they didn't even need to say it out loud.

Only one way was there to die like that, by the curse of Avada Kedavra

"What do we do?" Lieve whispered.

"I'll say it's all the better reason to just get going." Regulus responded.

"Bu.." Lieve swallowed. "They cannae defend themselves, we should help, tha is what wizards and witches are for, to protect the mu.." she silenced glancing at the table, no one seemed to have heard as her whisper was a silent as intended.

"And by finishing our own mission we have." Regulus whispered darkly for a while. "I am the only one able to do it, I don't care what it takes, we just need to keep going." He hissed.

It really didn't take long for the two to get to the front hall on their way out, Regulus with rather angry motions just tried to fasten the silver buckle on his elegant black boot, which now didn't look that good any-more, completely trode through and obviously not an item meant to walk through a forest for five days straight with, his boot simply needed to be exchanged very soon, and it made Regulus both annoyed and very unpleasant towards every-one while Lieve tried her best to be thankful to their hosts. "Sincerely, thank ye so much! It was very much needed!" she assured.

"You do remember to take care now." Albert looked worried at them. "keep close to each other, or just take a bus or something, walking around is to dangerouse."

Lieve sighed deeply. "I know sir, but I'm afraid it's just really important that we keep on going, again thank ye so much, ye have been so kind."

"It's what any decent man would do." Albert told. "Now take care, take good care of yourself."

"Aye," lieve nodded. "Thank ye sir." She glanced at Regulus who was finally done with his boot and was on his way outside, stomping all the way, Lieve send a last apologetic smile at Albert and then ran after him. "Oi! Wait!" Lieve tried to catch up.

"Then follow up." Regulus hissed.

"Ye know it's not very kind of ye to take me with ye just so ye have another person to snap at!" Lieve returned.

"If you were just more silent and thought things a bit more through, I wouldn't have to!" Regulus returned.

"HEY WAIT UP!"

Surprised Lieve turned around to witness Jonas coming running towards them caring a plastic bag. "Ei?" Lieve looked at him.

"Thought you might wanted these." Jonas offered reaching ford the back.

Stunned Lieve accepted and looked down, to brighten up. "Canned food!" she exclaimed. "Brilliant."

"And here." Jonas reached her what looked like a tiny metal object.

Curiously Lieve took the object, it looked very odd and she turned it in the air as she squinted her eyes at it. "Wha is tha?" she asked sincerely confused.

"A can opener." Jonas told. "Who are you really?" he asked. "Both of you? He's wrong you know, you are equally weird. You're not normal at all." He accused.

Lieve silenced as she looked down at Jonas. "What makes ye think we are anything special?" she asked.

"Please." Jonas rolled his eyes. "It's to obvious, it's almost like you are from a completely different world or something."

Lieve nodded thoughtfully. "Bright lass." She acknowledged.

"Is there such another place?" Jonas asked curiosity and fascination starting to sneak into the young boys voice.

"Erh.." Lieve scratched her neck. "Depends on what ye mean.."

Jonas hesitated. "I thought I saw a unicorn ones." He told honestly in a whispering silent voice.

"Oh?" Lieve lifted an eyebrow.

Jonas blushed deeply as his fingers twisted. "It was very short, it was running away really fast, and dad says it was probably just a horse which had gotten away from it's owner.. but I swear it had a horn, and it looked like it was shining, it was to white to be a horse." Jonas looked up at Lieve. "Is that impossible?" he asked.

Lieve hesitated slightly and then sighed deeply. "It's as possible as ye believe it is." She then stated. "But take me advice if ye wanna keep those memories, and ye should, keep quiet abou' it, ye dinnae want to attract attention, in fact.. ye dinnae want to attract attention for any reason."

Jonas blinked. "Why?" he asked.

Lieve looked over her shoulder at the Regulus who was quickly walking away and then back at Jonas. "Okay listen, listen closely." She whispered bowing down. "It's real, the monsters out there in the big forests, the creatures, both the good and bad, but all creatures, these dangerous but magnificent things, are real, things ye cannae even imagine." Lieve told in a whispering voice. "Normally ye would have nothing to fear, because we are people out there to protect ye, there's a whole ministry just there to protect ye, but the order of things has been disturbed, there's people who's forgotten why we are here, and tries to hurt instead of protect, it's everywhere, we are some, me and Regulus included, who tries to get the order of things back on track, but it's dangerous, much more dangerous than what ye can imagine, and ye better hide and be quiet, take care of ye mom and dad, if things happens, if people come wandering with their wands raised, don't fight, run, there's nothing ye can do I am afraid."

Jonas starred wide-eyed at Lieve. "I'll remember." He swore. "Thank you."

Lieve smiled satisfied and ruffled up his hair before seemingly getting an idea, she dug in her pocket finding a knut. "Here." She handed the bronze coin to him. "for the food, It'll assure ye ye didn't just make this up. It was wonderful meeting ya." She told in a smile and stood up to hurry after Regulus, who had surprisingly stopped.

"I heard that." Regulus told. "We are not supposed to tell any-one, not ever."

"I know." Lieve muttered. "Sor'y, just seemed right."

Regulus hesitated slightly. "You really mean that protectors thing?" he asked.

"Kind of." Lieve hesitated. "I mean, that is what we are here for, so many have just forgotten, I guess it could be because we life so excluded from the muggles.. I know there was a reason when it started back a couple of hundreds years ago.. but don't you think we have removed ourselves to far away? It's so easy to think we are better just because we have all this power in us.."

"We _are _better." Regulus injected. "I know it's not their fault, but it's just how it is."

"did ye come to that conclusion by yerself ?" Lieve asked. "Or is it just what ye mother always told ye?"

Regulus halted, his mouth having run dry, and then he hissed. "_Shut up!_" in a very annoyed tone.

"My, aren't we in a happy mood." Lieve muttered crossing her arms looking away with a sour frown. "One should think he made ye run around Hogwarts green lake for yer home-work or something, or stuffed a slubberwrom in yer bed, or."

"You want to know why I am so annoyed?" Regulus hissed turning around facing Lieve mere inches away just to stop the stream of words he knew was about to come otherwise. "Because my entire life thus far has been a lie, Penelope is dead, because of me! All I can do is to get that freaking Horecrux which is in London, and I am stuck here, hurting all over from walking, wasted around twelve hours because _some-body_ absolutely had to talk to the muggles we are not even supposed to interact with, and I am stuck on a stupid, brain dead Irish who forgot to tell me that she's only sixteen so she can't even do magic, and mostly drives me absolutely insane with all of her nonsense talk! I just want you to shut the hell up!"

Lieve blinked and looked wide-eyed at Regulus. "Well aint we full of self pity?" she spat back. "For Merlins and all Arthurs knights sake! It's all about Regulus in your world isn't it? All about you?" she asked. "Stop treating my like a dumbo! I'm here because _ye _asked me to!" she exclaimed loudly. "Ever since this began I was just a third-wheel stuck on this plot I have nothing to do with! I never asked for that, all I wanted was to _not _be an extra third wheel, but then ye all treat me as some kind of dumbo, telling me things are fine when even an idiot can tell they are _not_! keeping secrets from me which I can tell is hurting them, but will they let me onto it? NO! I am so god damn TIRED of it all!" Lieve exclaimed loudly.

"Oh buhu, they kept as much from me as you." Regulus snorted. "No-body trust me, and why should they? Actually I don't even trust any of them!" he stated. "So little miss rat-catcher why don't you just run off?"

"Ye'll never make it without me." Lieve rolled her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips. "Ye cannae even take care of yerself, ye never even touched as much as kitchen knife, ye never been in the wilderness, or talked probably to regular people, where are ye manners?" she asked sourly.

"Not my fault, that is how I was raised." Regulus snorted. "By the way, I _do _have manners! At least how I know how to _talk_ probably! And you are the one to talk to me about manners? Nice languet and temper ye get going there!"

"Just because ye are hiding yer rudeness behind the oh so sophisticated manners, _it doesn't make ye any less rude!" _Lieve told right back at him.

"You should try it, then there would might be hope for you being a girl yet, or wait, no there aren't." Regulus stated. "How any-one could ever mistake you for an actual girl is any-ones guess."

Lieve gaped. "Don't ye dare." She whispered.

"Scuffy, fiflthy, stupid, that is what you are! It's like you grew up in a pigstike, among all the use-less pigs! None of which is girly! There's _nothing_ woman about you!" Regulus would never have been able to see it coming, suddenly a great smack sounded and a white pain for a minor second blinded Regulus, until he reached his chin which was now burning hot, Lieve had slapped him, not only lightly, but really hard, so hard it had almost thrown Regulus off balance. And she didn't look like she was the least bit sorry about it, in fact her eyes suddenly looked hard as she looked at him.

"Is that how your parents raised you? Well tells about _their _character doesn't it?" Regulus asked with a lifted eye-brow and was rewarded with a genuine fist, right in the nose genuinely making him stumble a couple of steps back-wards, as he spat on the ground and finally looked up at Lieve again with angry eyes.

And Lieve sucked in a deep breath straightening her back. "Ya know what you just sounded like?" she asked. "Every single other full-blood wizard on earth, stomping on every-body not as 'good' as ya folks!" she stated bitterly. "Hope it makes ya happy to be _exactly_ like them! But go ahead, say how scuffy I am! Ye would never have made it this far without me, but just trash me all ya want!" she invited with open arms and a grim look on her face. "But say some-thing about me family again." Lieve hissed as she clinched her hand into a fist, the underlying threat in her voice was enough to tell what she was going to do, and it didn't sound pretty.

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Yeah right." He snorted and winced in pain as he held a hand to his nose. "Did you just break my nose?" he asked. "How dare you hit my like that!" he thundered old instincts taking over completely by the sight of the shady girl whom was so obviously defying him.

Lieve hissed as he eyes shoot thunder. "How dare I?" she asked. "Oh I dare! By Merlins beard, Ye are." She stated in a angry voice "A stuck up! Spoiled, rich, single minded, brat!" Lieve sneered before her voice grew. "You're so bloody Arrogant! That's what ye are! Me-me-me! That's all ye'r ever about! Look at me, look at how terrible I have it ye selfish bastard." She hissed as she kicked in the ground so dirt flew in the direction of Regulus. "Ye know what yer problem is?"

"So I am the one who's the problem?" Regulus asked. "You're the one completely out of control!" he gestured. "I am _not_ the problem!" he hissed grimly holding his nose.

"YES YOU ARE!" Lieve exclaimed. "When have I ever complained? I never complain! But ye! Ye are all about yerself! Yer world centres about ye and what ye know!" she stated. "I get for the first time ever the entire last year ye tried something else, but ye keep on being such an arrogant _prat!_ Me, me, me! _Your _pain _your _family _your _burdens, well I got news for ya, we ALL have skeletons in our closest! But you only care about yer own, That's all ye care about! There's other people ye know, and I know it probably comes as a big surprise to ya, but there are other kinds of people! And ye are _not _always right! _Far _from it! Even after that hard lesson! First time ever ye realised ye did a mistake aye? But ones aint enough! Oh so infallible, me,me,me!" she covered her ears. "I'm so sick of all of yer self pity! I should think you had learned some humility by now, but apparently not!" she hissed.

"Me? Hah! You're the one who talks all the time!" Regulus pointed out. "Blah-blah-blah! It's like being stuck on a fucking clinging attention sick parrot, talk this talk that, _Shut up_!"

"At least not about me own miserable feelings." Lieve stated. "You're so.. so.. ARGH!" she threw up her hands in sheer frustration. "I had _enough_ of you!" she stated. "I thought at least ye could sympathise, bu' ever since we started this stupid quest, for god know's wha ye have been treating me like trash! Despite the fact that ye would be so lost without me! So there ye have it! _I had it!_ Go to London for all I care ye sod!" she turned around starting to stomp away.

"It will be my pleasure." Regulus hissed continuing on his own way and he certainly didn't look back as he stomped towards the road and from there just kept on walking.

Lieve doing pretty much the same as she walked in the order direction, Jonas having seen it from afar blinked. "What happened there?" he asked.

"I had it with the rich kid." Lieve murmered. "Oi, can ye point me to the direction of Scotland?"

"I thought you were from Ireland." Jonas blinked.

"Aye I am, but I am supposed to be in Scotland." Lieve muttered bitterly.

"Where in Scotland?" Jonas asked.

"I haven't the faintest idea, hopefully I can find a magical train station or something like that." She muttered as she glanced over the shoulder and at the road where Regulus was now out of view before she rolled her eyes. She raised up and collected her backpack ready to make a dignified walk out, actually even feeling pretty damn good about it, only to stop in middle motion and jump in behind a house.

"What are you doing?" Jonas asked.

"Those two men, right in front of ya, ye recognise them?" Lieve asked. "The young one with light blond shoulder length hair and the darker skinned?"

"No I don't know them." Jonas told. "Looks like regular people to me."

"Look closely at their belts." Lieve instructed. "ye see anything peculiar about them."

"Not.. really.." Jonas squinted his eyes.

"Look closer, do they have wands, like this one!" she asked drawing her own wand made from apple tree containing an Anbraxh feather, a feather from her first winged horse, the wand had been costume made as none of the regular cores wanted to fit with her.

Jonas blinked at the wand, and then just looked at it in wonderment. "That's a wand?" he asked in a whisper.

"The men, do they have them?" Lieve asked.

Jonas looked back with squinted eyes, and then slowly, nodded. "In their belts." He acknowledged. "Could be wands."

"Malfoy." Lieve whispered. "He cannae see me."

"Is he one of the men who messed things up?" Jonas asked.

"Oh aye, real bad.. really really bad." Lieve swallowed.

"How bad is it?" Jonas asked wondering just looking at the men.

"Oh laddie." Lieve whispered.

* * *

Regulus grunted and hissed annoyed as he walked down the road. "Good riddance to finally get rid of that menace." He grunted. "how dare she! Thinking she know oh so much better than me, like she could teach me anything, _me, _Regulus Black of the finest black family, my heritage surely, oh crud." He stopped up face-palming himself. "I _do_ sound like my mom!" he realised. "Pen! What would you have said?" he asked out in the air and closed his eyes, to suddenly gain a memory of Penelope telling him he was a stuck up and way to proud for his own good. "Oh swell." Regulus drawled. "Absolutely delightful."

Deep inside Regulus knew it, but that didn't mean he would have to like it, he would have to go back at ones and apologies to Lieve, trouble just was he didn't want to, it felt bitter, and embarrassing.

And if there was something he didn't like it was to embarrass himself, _ever!_

Regulus grunted deeply and was trying to gather inner strength to turn around.. humility hah! He had plenty of humility he.. he groaned ones again annoyed struggling with his feelings as he heard leaves being stepped on right beside him, at ones Regulus drew his wand and swirled in the direction, and stood completely still, as suddenly a woman came through the bushes, she looked like a mess, with dirt all over her, she was actually very pretty with light blue eyes, brown hair and a pretty dress, but she was shivering, suddenly she stopped and saw Regulus, her eyes widened in fair the moment she saw Regulus's wand she screamed. "NOOO!" and stumbled backwards. "No! no-more! Leave me!"

"What?" Regulus asked. "Erh, look!" he stuffed the wand away. "I'm not going to harm you, if just." He took a step against her.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" the woman screamed in sheer horror as she stumbled backwards and fell. "I don't know what you people are, demons? Just.. get away!" she cried.

"No wait I am not." Regulus tried but only for the woman to scramble on her legs and starting running.

"No wait!" Regulus ran after her with outstretched arm. "I'm not out to harm you! You need help!" he hissed as he drew his wand ready to send a body binder, only for the woman to scream even louder as she turned her head and so it. "Oh all right." Regulus mumbled stuffing the wand away. "But you got to!" he tried. "I can help you, you need help, I can obliviate you, that's what we usually do in these cases isn't it?"

"_NOOO!" _The woman screamed by the suggestion as she ran in there and then finally stumbled and fell down on her back.

"You're.. you're all right?" Regulus asked as he slowly walked beside her and sat down on her knee.

"No more.. " the woman cried. "No more, you're one of them.."

"One of whom?" Regulus asked.

"Them." The woman simply said.

"You mean." Regulus sighed deeply and closed his eyes. "A wizard?"

"What do you want from us?" The woman sniffed. "We never did anything wrong."

"Did they use magic on you?" Regulus asked. "You seemed afraid of my wand, did they use wands on you?"

the woman shuttered as she wrapped an arm around herself. "Why?" she shuttering asked.

Painfully Regulus looked at the woman. "I don't know." He at last answered as he swallowed. "I don't know why any-one would do this." He told loosening his cloak to spread it over the woman as a blanket. "But just try and calm down it will be all right, the ministry should be here and you wont know it ever happened.. at least, they would have come if they weren't so busy.. fighting.. I'm sure they'll come eventually."

"No." The woman hissed. "I don't want more of those people to come, just go away and leave us alone."

"But why." Regulus hopelessly asked. "Why would any-one do this?" he asked. "I don't.. I don't understand."

Of cause poor Betty weren't able to answer, she was left crying, sobbing, And Regulus tried to reach for her again, gently placed a hand on her shoulder, and thankfully this time she didn't move away but seemed to had relaxed. "Please believe me." Regulus whispered. "We aren't all like that."

That was when he noticed, some-thing was right behind him, obviously Betty could see it as she was starring wide-eyed, and Regulus could hear it, deep rasping dangourse sounding breaths, as came they from an animal, slowly, ever so slowly Regulus's head turned and towering over him, was a simply huge horse, way bigger than any ordinary horse, to make it worse it had sharp fangs which seemed to be dripping with some-thing green which could only be poison, it's eyes were shining yellow without iris or pupil, the fur of the horse was purple and on its back were two giant wings.

"Don't move." Regulus whispered without moving a face muscle.

"Wha-wha-what is that?" Betty stammered frightened.

"Obviously some sort of winged horse." Regulus whispered silently.

"Obviously?" Betty asked disbelieving. "No. it's not possible!"

"It's not supposed to be any-where near this area." Regulus assured silently. "The ministry should have made sure it isn't but oh.. I guess they are sort of busy with.. oh snap." He swallowed as the horse moved closer looking incredible dangerous. "I think it's a safe bet to say this thing is flesh eating…"

"And?" Betty almost squeaked.

"I have no idea what so ever how to handle these things." Regulus admitted bitterly. "RUN!" he grabbed Betty's hand and pulled the woman to her legs pulling her with him in a wild run through the woods.

It took less than a second for the horse to follow in a wild gallop and it was quickly gaining as well.

Betty was simply crying not able to comprehend any-more.

"Come on! You gotta run!" Regulus exclaimed as he pulled his wand and shouted. "CONFRINGUS!" as he pointed as the huge beast, and explosion sounded as the beast halted and let out a roar.

"REGULUS!"

Regulus couldn't believe it, he was ready to cry in relief. "LIEVE!" he shouted as a orange haired menace came in his direction. "GET OUT OF THE WAY! THERE'S A BEAST!" he warned and saw as Lieve stopped up and wide-eyed watched the scenary. Regulus turned around again hopelessly yelling "CONFRINGUS!"

"ARGH!" Lieve screamed. "REGULUS, YER HURTING HER!" she shouted.

"What?" Regulus asked disbelieving.

"YE ONLY ANGER HER YE DOPE!" Lieve shouted charging forward towards them and the beast.

"LIEVE ARE YOU INSANE?" Regulus yelled hopelessly.

But Lieve didn't have eye on Regulus only at the huge purple beast and thrust herself physically at it, grabbing it's main and keeping its mouth closed as she starred directly into the purples beast yellows eyes. "OI!" she shouted. "STOP IT! STOP!" she demanded in a stern tone then only to be thrown widely around yet she kept on holding fast. "REGULUS YE REALLY DID YA WORK DOPE!" she yelled sourly. "STOP IT GIRL!"

"What are you doing?" Regulus yelled hopelessly.

"REGULUS CAST NOCTI AT HER!"

"What?" Regulus asked.

"_THE SPELL!" _Lieve yelled so sternly that Regulus at ones stood up straight as was she a teached. "INCARNATION! _NOCTIA NOXIM!" _

"_NOCTIA NOXIM!" _Regulus just yelled as he swung his wand without any idea of what he was doing.

It didn't seemed like anything had happened, before suddenly, the huge beast out of no-where calmed down, helped along as Lieves hand was very purposely robbing the big beasts ear, and now looked Lieve in the eye whom looked back with a stern look. "Better now girl?" she asked.

The huge beast didn't even move.

And finally, Lieve just let go. "Aww, there ye go, wha' a sweet heart!" she gladly cheered brushing the mane. "Yer nothing but a big softie are ye?" she asked scratching the beast behind the ear which made the purple thing let out a big rumbling sound, almost like a purr.

Both Regulus and Betty was just gaping.

"You.. you.. what _is_ that?" Regulus asked.

"It's an Anthrax and a very sweet one." Lieve told.

"_That's_ an Anthrax?" Regulus asked disbelieving asked. "The horses you had on your farm? The pet you had called pipsqueeck?" he asked.

"So ye did listen?" Lieve raised in eye-brow.

"Hard not to." Regulus responded. "That's the horse you keep talking about?" he asked again just pointing on it.

"This is only a young mare." Lieve informed as she kept on stroking the main to the horse's absolut delight. "Pipsqeeck was a stallion, he was way bigger than this."

And just right then and there Regulus felt like passing out, he was not the only one, Betty all ready had passed out right on the ground.

"Oh, is tha?" Lieve asked looking down.

Regulus nodded picking the skinny woman up. "We have to carry her back." He told.

"Aye." Lieve nodded. "But erh.."

"What?" Regulus asked.

"There's wizards there, Malfoy and." Lieve swallowed. "Others."

"They are the one who.." Regulus let it linger as he looked down at Betty in his arms. "Why?" he couldn't help but ask. "They didn't do anything. The muggles didn't do any-thing, why would wizards hurt them?" he asked deeply confused as if it was first now he started asking this question.

"Why would ye-know-who start a war against muggles in the first place?" Lieve asked. "That's what he is doing you know, trying to exterminate the muggles so he can create a world of pure wizardry."

Regulus looked at Lieve in absolute disbelief, as if he first now got that far in his thought process. "I still doesn't make any sense!" Regulus exclaimed.

"Nay… nay it doesn't." Lieve blinked. "Regulus, we cannae leave! Then they'll just continue! We got to help."

"How?" Regulus asked. "We need to get to London, I mean.. I don't want to be heartless, but what can we do?" he asked hopelessly.

And equally hopeless Lieve looked back at Regulus. "They'll kill more people." She whispered. "For no reason, or the magical creatures no one is controlling will spread chaos.. the ministry is to busy with this stupid war to do anything, it's all broken."

"But what can we do?" Regulus asked again. "You can't even do magic and I can't even take care of myself even if my life depended on it."

"Yes you can you are much smarter than that." Lieve flat out stated. "Please, any-thing." She begged.

"I.. I don't know what you are talking about!" Jonas cried as he was pressed up against the wall.

"_This!" _Malfoy hissed as he held a bronze coin up to Jonas's face. "Is a wizards coin, and I bet you know it, now _who gave it to you?" _he asked.

"I FOUND IT!" Jonas yelled. "On the ground, I swear!"

"You're lying." Malfoy informed flatly raising his wand, and flipped it so a beam zoomed towards Jonas who instinctly screamed and raised his arms to cover himself, when suddenly the beam just bounced off, wide-eyed Jonas looked up, Malfoy frowned annoyed but merely realised his wand again when suddenly some-thing flew straight into his head and made him fall over flat on his stomach.

Jonas blinked and discovered a can laying on the ground which had hit the blond in the head, it had slightly cracked up by the impact and tomato souce was slowly pouring out, Jonas looked up and witnessed the thrower a orange haired girl with lighting blue eyes and that black haired boy with gray eyes which looked at it.

"Now what do you know." Regulus commented looking at the can which laid on the ground that had been used as ammuntion. "There really _is _food inside! How the heck did they get it in there?"

Lieve shrugged. "We should ask some-one." She commented.

"Jonas how do you people get the food inside of that cans?" Regulus asked interested.

"I don't know actually." Jonas blinked. "Maybe if you asked my dad."

"By the way, nice reflection." Lieve whispered to Regulus.

"I didn't do it, I thought you." Regulus blinked.

"Ahem, no magic." Lieve reminded and then glanced at Jonas. "Say, how old are ye?" she asked.

"Urh.. turned eleven last week." Jonas blinked.

"I think ye are are going to get the best letter ever this summer." Lieve informed with a raised eye-brow as Malfoy groaned.

Slowly Lieve and Regulus looked at each other, and then looked each other in the eye as they reached out and grabbed each others hand, as if were it just for assurance as they looked at Malfoy swallowing.

And then Malfoy opened his eyes and saw, wide-eyed he looked at them. "Regulus." He whispered.

"Hey Lucius." Regulus answered.

"The blood traitor." Malfoy blinked.

"Yeah, that is what they call me." Regulus admitted. "And this is Lieve O'hara, she swore of you-know-who in a pretty colourful language and bit Yaxley in the hand, so basically, now that you have seen us, there's no excuse for not capturing us." He told.

"I'm going to be so rewarded." Malfoy smiled greedily as he drew his wand looking at them with squinted eyes.

"Only if you catch us." Regulus nodded before shout. "_EXSPILLIARMUS!_" so Malfoy didn't have a chance as his wand flew out of his hand and the two teenagers turned around to run for it.

"IT'S THE BLOOD TRAITOR!" Malfoy yelled and suddenly other wizards appeared. "We'll have to get him! What-ever it takes, just get them!"

"This plan is so stupid!" Regulus exclaimed. "turning yourself into life bait? Who does that?"

"It's yer plan!" Lieve pointed out.

"Doesn't make it any les stupid!" Regulus exclaimed as Lieve let out a high sharp whistle.

And as had it been drawn to the whistle came the big purple horse galloping, frightenened the pursuing wizards simply stopped up, as it passed by Lieve with a practised hand took a hold of the main and swung up to reach down and lend Regulus a hand pulling him up behind her where he was left to cling unto her in the impressive speed.

"So we are just going to ride from it?" Regulus asked clinging to Lieves waist, all ready not liking this one bit.

"Wha are ye kidding me? Riding?" Lieve asked as she kicked the flanks with her heels and suddenly two giant wings folded out.

"Oh no!" Regulus yelled. "Oh _no no no no_! We are _not _going to fly on this thing!"

But it was to late, the wings was spread out and in one giant leap, the horse jumped above the stunned people even one of which was a wizard, but instead of falling down again it just kept going upwards. "ARGH!" Regulus screamed as a little girl clinging to Lieve.

" Yeah I know!" Lieve exclaimed gladly. "This is the life aint it? This is how ye really fly!" she stated loudly. "Nayte stupid hard brooms, just feel her lifting ye! _This_ is how ye fly!"

Regulus did not agree! He loved flying, _on a broom! _This didn't suit him at all, the beast was huge dangerous and unpredictable, and it went so fast, all ready they were far away from the little village and over the forest.. some-where, the beast kept flying up and down in the most unpredictable ways, suddenly it turned, and Lieve only seemed to delighted about it all. "Where are we going?" Regulus hopelessly asked.

"I dinnae know!" Lieve answered.

"WHAT!" Regulus exclaimed. "What about London? Go to London!"

"We are riding a wild Anthrax horse, without a saddle! I cannae control her!" Lieve shouted back. "But yeah! We should probably jump before we get to far off track!"

"WHAT!" Regulus asked. "You can't be serious!"

"No, that's yer dopey big Brother." Lieve returned. "This is a wild Horse, I dinnae have reins, I dinnae control where it goes!" she informed as the horse suddenly made a sudden dive.

"NOW IS OUR CHANCE!" Lieve exclaimed grabbing Regulus's shoulders, and as they were closest to the ground, moments before the horse went up again, she threw both herself and Regulus off the horse so they tumbled down on the ground and made several summersaults at the field, just so they could witness the beast fly upwards and far away.

With his heart all the way up his throat Regulus just starred wide-eyed after it. "Never." He swallowed. "Never again." He looked around to recognise they were sitting in the middle of a hay mark, which had been harvest recently so it was bare, not far from them stood a lonely scarecrow, and when he squinted his eyes he could just make out a road.

"Ye think it worked?" Lieve asked.

"I think those wizards will be pretty occupied looking after us for a while." Regulus nodded.

"Oh lord." Lieve took a deep breath falling back on her back taking some deep breaths, before she suddenly snickered.

"What?" Regulus asked annoyed.

"There really _is _food inside of the can." She chuckled. "What _do _they come up with next? I told ya ye dope! Those muggles are pretty creative!"

Regulus couldn't help it, he just chuckled with her, he didn't knew why but he did, and then he laughed.

They laughed together for a while, over their ridicoulus and stupid adventure before they silenced, and then they sat there at the bare mark, in complete silence.

"Regulus." Lieve whispered.

"Yeah." Regulus responded silently.

"I'm sorry." Lieve offered. "I guess I was ticked off and said some things I shouldn't, I dinnae mean.. I.."

"It's all right, you were right." Regulus sighed. "And it's me who slipped up and said some stuff I just shouldn't, I went way to far… I am really sorry Lieve." He sighed. "I really am a stuck up, arrogant, spoiled rich brat."

"But with yer upbringing who can blame ye?" Lieve asked.

"That's no excuse though is it?" Regulus apologised. "I need some humility. I really need some help out there, there's just things I don't know."

"Regulus.." Lieve whispered. "You just got yer humility, all that ye need, don't let it take over, ye also need to stand up for ya-self." She pointed out in a warm appreciating smile. "Listen to me, ye are different ye were from day one, I could see that!" Lieve exclaimed and Regulus lifted an eyebrow.

"Oh?" he asked.

"Well, urh, from all the phoenix fighters ye were the odd man out."

"Me?" Regulus asked surprised.

"Erh.. sort of .. my point is.. that erh." Lieve blushed deeply frantically flattening her unruly hair. "The phoenix fighters were a bunch of people who felt like they were outsiders coming together, ye were.. popular… among all the fine bloods, among every-body, rich, full-blood, prober dressed, mannered, a perfect full-blood wizard, being plenty well liked by the big boys.. coming there.. what gives? It really did puzzle me from day one."

Regulus silenced. "Erh.. I don't know." He swallowed. "It was.. it.. " he was lost for words. "Different.. warm.. I was.. intriuqued."

"Ye were curious?" Lieve asked.

"I suppose." Regulus muttered.

"Yer still curiouse?" Lieve asked.

"Sort of.." Regulus hesitated weighing a can with food in his hand, eyeing it before turning it.

"There ye go, that's nothing like them full-blood, ye really are interested in people different than you, I was the one being wrong." Lieve told honestly. "Must have been scary for ye to be on such thin ice, ye did real good I tell." She sighed. "You really are so different from any royal full-blood I have ever met because." Suddenly her eyes met Regulus's in all honestly. "You really do care for other people, it's quite honestly inspiring.. It's just a shame you are to proud to show it."

"Thanks." Regulus whispered hoarsly. "I don't want to become my parents." He told silently. "But it's all I know.. I will try to do better, believe me." He asked of her.

"I know you will." Lieve told in a assuring smile. "I am certain of it."

Regulus smiled vaguely before he cleared his throat. "My turn to talk, so be quiet." He looked seriously at her. "You are _not _a pig, far from it, you are a real woman, like Penelope, like Lily and you are _not _stupid, at all! I take it all back and I apologies. Your family must have been so great to have raised you." Regulus looked still ever as seriously at her. "And you don't talk that much."

"Yes I do." Lieve sighed deeply. "I talk way to much." She silenced a little bit. "I'm sorry that I do, it's just.. if I don't talk." She silenced. "Then my mind goes places I don't like to be, if I talk about other things, I can keep it away… I'm sorry.."

Regulus looked up and then looked at Lieve. "Don't apologies." He said. "It kind of.. worked." He realised. "I was so busy being annoyed at you that I didn't even think about.. you know.."

Lieve nodded. "Aye.. I know."

"You're really not stupid at all." Regulus smiled vaguely. "I even think your problem is you think to much."

"That's a new one." Lieve lifted an eyebrow.

"I bet you think about all kinds of thing at the same time and that's why it gets all messed up when you try to speak or do something." Regulus almost chuckled. "What you need, is to become organised, then nothing is left to stop you." He almost laughed and then winced as the sudden movement suddenly reminded his nose it was hurt and he winced as he laid a hand over it.

"Oh god." Lieve exclaimed. "I am so, so sorry for hitting you on the nose! I.. I.." she blinked.

"Arh, it's all-right." Regulus grimaced holding it still. "I guess I deserved it, some-body should hit that humility into me as you said."

Lieve sighed as she shook her head and gently removed Regulus's hand to have a look. "I think ye just got all the humility ye ever need, trust me. Now stop saying it all the time." She stated looking him over. "This looks fine, I dinna think any-thing is broken." She commented. "Sorry I can't do magic, then we could have been really sure."

"You can do healing spells?" Regulus asked with a lifted eye-brow.

"You can't?" Lieve frowned. "Honestly! Getting knee scraps and blue-marks every-day for as long as I remember that was the first thing I taught me-self at Hogwarts!" she exclaimed. "How came ya don't know any?" she asked stunned.

"Didn't thought there was any use for it." Regulus then ashamed admitted. "The first thing I wanted to learn was stunners and defence spells so I could show other people what I could do." He rolled his eyes. "Well, just proves you really are the smarter one doesn't it?" he asked.

Lieve clearly couldn't help it, she brightened up in a smile. "Well." she spoke as she stood up and then bowed down to offer a hand to Regulus. "Better get moving ei?" she asked.

Regulus smiled in return and then reached up to Let Lieve firmly grab his hand and pull him up on his legs. "Absolutely, _we _better get going!"


	53. Dealing with consequences

For Lily, Hogwarts had become a black hole, Severus gone, two of her comrades gone, the phoenix fighters, every-thing… gone.

She almost couldn't bother to study, but just hung over her desk as Proffesor Dawlish lectured about the fine art of defending.

"Lily you might want to listen to this." Remus whispered to her. "It actually sounds very useful."

"Mmm." Lily mumbled in a barely visible noise. Instead she closed her eyes, and suddenly a memory flashed before her eyes, a memory where she easily performed the spell Dawlish was now lecturing about… even though she had never even heard of that spell before, Lily groaned annoyed, apparently she was absolutely exhausted, cause she was seeing memories which weren't hers, they were Sev's, and she knew she only got them when she was almost sleeping.

She sighed ones again, Lily, more than any-thing, just felt so trapped, help-less and un-useful at current time. The phoenix fighters had given her just some-thing to do, and with that gone, then what?

In the break her and the marauders had ventured outside, it was cold and the trees were almost bare, not to far away the dementors were looming, basically warning them to get to far. But they needed the air. Sirius sat leaning up against a tree, Lily on a bench, Remus by Lily's feet, Peter not very far from them, and James sat on the grass with his adoring girl-friend Diane on his lap holding her hand.

"Soon the next Quidditch match huh?" James tried to open conversation.

"Yeah." Sirius muttered.

"And I am sure Slytherin is going to throw those Rawenclaws of the bench." James stated kissing Diane on the cheek. "Cause we so need to meet in that finale."

Diane smiled vaguely. "They don't stand a chance." She stated.

"Sorry I can't attend." Remus stated absendmindly, referring to the fact it would be full-moon shortly before the match. Apparently even he was so tired he had compleately forgotten Diane didn't know.

But she didn't ask any questions as she shrugged. "There's always the real finale." And then that was it. No more to talk about.

That was until Sirius threw up his arms in sheer frustration. "ALL RIGTH THAT'S IT!" he exclaimed. "We have been walking around, sulking, for the past couple of weeks, what the hell is the deal?" he asked. "We are deep down in trouble and we do nothing?" he asked. "There is some-one on school targeting us, and we are pretty much sure it's crouch, what about that?" he asked.

"The teachers told us to leave him alone." Remus reminded as he rubbed his eyes.

"That never stopped us before!" Sirius stated.

"Padfoot we don't really have any proof." James sighed as he rolled his eyes. "I wish we had some-thing, but we got nothing."

"Then we should get some-thing!" Sirius stated.

"You mean spy on him?" Diane crooked an eye-brow.

"Why not, you are a Slytherin, you would be inconspicuous." Sirius pointed out.

Diane snorted. "We aren't exactly the best of friends, and I wont try to become it just to satisfy you." She stated darkly. "And beside I am hanging out with you guys, that does make me conspecious." She spointed out.

"Sirius is right though." Lily gritted. "We can't just sit around doing nothing."

"But what Lily, what?" Remus asked.

"I don't care! ANY-THING!" Lily exclaimed as she stood up straight. "I hate being coocked up here I hate it!" she exclaimed as she pulled in her hair.

"Lily please don't snap at us." Remus sighed.

"I _Don't _snap of any-one!" Lily returned in a annoyed tone, only for Remus to lift an eye-brow that made Lily realise she had just snapped at him.

"And you do it quite often." Remus added which indeed did end up annoying the hell out of Lily. "Please calm down." He asked.

Grumbling and scoffing Lily sat down with crossed arms.

"Beside, it's to weird having you take side with Padfoot." James added, making Lily's mouth drop open.

"I don't." Lily started but suddenly knew she had all-ready lost that fight. Annoyed she closed her eyes only to see flashes of green light and screams, only for her to wide open her eyes again and bit together. "DAMMIT!" she yelled without thinking.

"Are you.." Peter hesitated very very carefully. "Are you okay?"

"I'm _fine!_" Lily hissed. "But as I can see you people aren't much help at all I might as well just go!" she stated standing up. "And don't follow me, I just want to be _alone!" _she stated striding away towards the lake in angry movements.

The rest was left in stunned silence as they looked after her. "I don't know guys, I'm sort of worried." James admitted. "Diane… could you?" he asked the blond.

"I'm not one of her close friends." Diane sighed deeply.

"Moony?" James asked.

"I don't know what you want me to do." Remus sighed. "Just.. give it some time."

"We all-ready given it time, it just becomes worse." James pointed out.

Remus bit his lip as he shook his head.

Lily how-ever, had regretted going away, it was such a weird thing, when she was with people she just wanted them to leave and when she was on her own she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts and this feeling of helplessness, she was so angry all of them, and she couldn't exactly tell why.

Annoyed Lily slammed a fist into a nearby tree and hissed beneath her breath.

"Curse you, Severus Snape. Why must you make it so hard on us?" she asked when suddenly she realised she wasn't alone, a certain dark haired good looking Rawenclaw looked startled at her.. that Sabrina from the club, whom walked out on them and let every-body else follow up. Lily snorted as she annoyed turned away.

"Wait!" Sabrina called in a weak voice.

Annoyed Lily turned around barely offering her a glance.

"Do you have any idea what happened to Lieve?" the dark haired beauty asked in a whimpering voice.

"What does that matter to you?" Lieve asked. "You don't even like her."

"That's not true." Sabrina whispered in a whimpering voice. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I said all that." She stated.

"It's not me you need to apologies to." Lily mumbled to herself.

"I was just upset.. I am upset." Sabrina whipped a tear away. "What is some-thing happened to her? I'm afraid we kind of easily.. ended up ignoring her.. she had a tendency to close herself away, we just thought.. I don't know, we didn't think much at all. I should have asked, maybe she wouldn't have gone." She whipped an exstra tear away. "Please believe me! I was upset!" she repeated. "And please tell me you know some-thing!"

Lily silenced and then looked way more understandable at Sabrina, slowly she laid a hand on the girls shoulder in a assuring grip. "It's all right, we are all upset." She assured. "And believe me, it's not your fault she left she.. had her reasons." Lily explained as she closed her eyes.

Sabrina to had her eyes closed. "What reasons?" she asked.

"I.." Lily hesitated. "I'm sorry but I can't tell."

"You guys are really running around doing all the important stuff aren't you?" Sabrina asked in a hoars voice. "The rest of us, we have no idea what is ever going on."

"Honestly." Lily mumbled. "Neither do we, we just go along with what happens." And she silently turned around to ashamed walk away.

"I hope you find him." Sabrina then surprisingly spoke making Lily halt. "Severus I mean, you two were great together." She stated in a unsure voice.

Lily turned her head around and offered Sabrina a slight smile. "I'll find him all-right." She promised. "I'll find all of them, just you wait."


	54. entering London

London were an old big city, in every sense of the word.

It was old as the buildings showed it, made out of stone and often had a history on their own, the huge tower bridge going over the river thames, the large sankt pauls cathedral which had been standing there for so long. Survived countless of invading attempts, two of the so called Muggle world wars where the bombs had blown off the roof, only for the hardworking muggles to rebuild it, or so Regulus had read in a brochure, trying to do so in secret not wanting to admit to Lieve how admirable he found this history.

And it was a big city, as among all of these old buildings, castle left overs and statues there were new bill boards, new tall buildings squeezed in amongs the old ones, updated with all sorts of electrical gimmicks Regulus had no idea was for, and some-times even had to stop and look in aw and disbelief, and the people, were definitely big city people as they rushed around in a big crowded mop.

And right in the middle of it, at the unofficial Centrum Piccadilly circus stood the two odd men out just looking at it all.

Despite Regulus having lived in London for all of his life.. he had never really seen London, at least not like this, not walking around in the crowds like this, seeing it from the muggle perspective.

But it was nothing compared to what Lieve looked like, there really wasn't any reason that Regulus should hide brochures from her, the girl was to busy gaping and wide-eyed look all-around herself in disbelief.. more than ever, more than in the little muggle-village they seemed like to odd men out.. so out of water, and ones again Lieve had stopped in sheer disbelief as they had entered the great piccadelly circus where bill-boards and busy people were all-around them.

"Come on." Regulus laid a hand on her shoulder. "We are almost there." He told.

Without stopping to gape or look wide-eyed on it all Lieve nodded and slowly followed, her eyes feel on Regulus who looked stern and determined. As they had moved closer it had become more and more obvious that Muggles were some-thing they would run into quite frequently, and they had kept looking oddly at Regulus's robe, so they had decided to acquire some muggle clothes, sadly by stealing from a clothesline, but they still didn't have any muggle money, and now Regulus was wearing jeans, a white shirt and a long heavy black coat, a gray scarf had been wrapped around his neck as it had started to become rather cold here in late November.

Lieve was still wearing her worn out robe, that despite being patchy was very warm and comfortable, her red scarf didn't leave her, only she had also started to wear a red woollen hat matching the scarf, which had been pulled down over hair unruly hair, supposedly to keep her ears warm.

If it was not because Regulus would refuse to wear some-thing like that, he would have to admit he had thought about bringing some-thing like that, despite their clothes the two of them were freezing every-day as it was becoming colder and colder. As Regulus breathed damp was escaping his mouth and Lieves as well.

"We'll have to get into Diagon Alley." Lieve suddenly realised.

"I know." Regulus nodded.

"We might run into some-one who recognise us."

"I know that to." Regulus admitted. "We just need to be quick."

In response Lieve simply pulled her woollen hat further down and stuffed her bright orange hair up where it couldn't be seen, before she reached up and pulled Regulus's scarf over his nose covering half his face before taking a step back looking him over, as were she an artist looking at her own picture. "Lets get going then."

Relatively easily they had found the leaky cauldrun which had looked mostly empty, from there both felt like they could take a breath of fresh air as they were finally on firm home territory again after all this time, as they stepped into Diagon Alley, only this also looked so devoid of life.

As it weren't summer vacation no one were busy buying for school, the few people who were there walked with bowed heads, and moved quickly, which suited Regulus and Lieve just find as it meant it only fit well that they did the same.

Quickly they went all the way down the street to the big white stone building where Regulus stopped. "All right." He whispered. "Here we go." He muttered finding a knut in his pocket before holding it in his flat hand, and flicked his wand at it, so at ones the bronze knut was exchanged with a golden key.

Lieve had to contain herself from squeeling, but smiled widely up at Regulus, whom returned just a little smile before they turned and went directly inside where the goblins were crawling all around.

Regulus took a deep breath and then headed straight for the counter where a goblin sat scribbling down on a piece of paper.

"Ahem." Regulus cleared his throat making his presence known.

Slowly the goblin looked up, its black glittering eye catching Regulus. "Yes." He addressed Regulus in a rather cold tone.

"Afternoon." Regulus greeted in a firm tone. "I'm Regulus Black and I have been asked to go into a Black vault, formerly Bellatrix Black now Lerstrange asked this favour of me, here's her key." He told shortly reaching ford the key.

Without a seconds warning the goblin just grabbed the key and held it up in the air, squinting his eyes at it. "Yes, this is a real key." He confirmed. "Blood test please." He asked reaching ford what looked like a yellow piece of paper.

Regulus merely shrugged as he pricked his finger with the needle that came with it and let a single drop of blood fall down on the paper, where-after magically the paper wrote. "_Regulus Acturus Black." _

"Yeas that seems fine." The goblin nodded taking the paper and put it in a drawer. "I'm just going to keep this a confirmation, and who is?" he asked looking at Lieve.

"Lieve O'hara." Lieve told ready with her hands forward if she was going to be asked a plot test.

The Goblin how-ever just gave her one short look and returned to Regulus. "And she will accompany us?" the Goblin asked.

"Yes she will." Regulus told. "And now that we are here, I would like to get to my own vault as well."

"Very well." The Goblin nodded. "Now just follow me." He gestured leading them away and out the the big door which lead to the familiar wagons.

Without thinking as he merely did what he was raised to as a gentleman Regulus offered Lieve a hand to help up on the bumpy wagon which took balance.

Lieve smiling amused accept as she was helped up.

"Huh that's a first." The goblin commented in a snort.

"What?" Regulus blinked as he crawled up himself taking a seat beside Lieve.

"Oh you full-bloods, I know how it is you don't help people like her unless there is some-thing in it, so what gives?" he asked.

"I kind of learned recently that class is far from all." Regulus hesitated.

"Erhm." Lieve hesitated. "I dinnae even think that is what he precisely meant."

"Then what?" Regulus looking at Lieve.

"Well, urh.. ye see." Lieve blushed deeply.

The goblin how-ever merely snorted as without warning started to zoom through the tunnels which made it impossible to speak and stopped abruptly at a golden vault.

"Vault 8-5-6-6-1" the Gnome announced.

Regulus breathed heavily. "Here goes." He muttered stepping out.

"The key." The goblin demanded. Slowly Regulus reached the key towards the Goblin whom almost snatched it out of Regulus's hand and stuffed it in the key hold to turn it around, immediately several locks started clicking and wheels started turning before at last, the door just sprung up. "Enter." The goblin invited.

Swallowing Regulus took a deep breath as Lieve did the same and they both took a step into the vault where they were sourounded by riches. All sorts, jewels, coins, artefacts.

Lieve blinked. "Whom on earth needs this much money?" she asked stunned. "I dinnae think I've ever seen so much glitter in all of my life." She told honestly.

"Lets find that cup and then just get the hell out of here." Regulus whispered through the coner of his mouth.. refraining from telling his vault was just as big as this one.. she would find out soon enough any-way.

At ones the two split and started the search each their side, it didn't take long how-ever before Lieve called. "Regulus!"

Regulus turned around and saw her pointup upwards at a shelf, and there it was.. genuinely actually was, a golden cup with the crest of Helga Hufflepuff!

Carefully Lieve stepped on the lower shelf and crawled upwards as she did before, slowly she reached out a hand, and then, she grabbed the golden cup and easily jumped down again. "Got it." She announced.

Stunned Regulus moved towards her and reached out the grab the cup and held it up his eyes. "That's it?" he asked disbelieving. "This thing, it's so."

"Are you coming out there?" The Goblins voice sounded in a rather impatient manner from outside. "Yes." Regulus responded as the two hasted out.

It didn't take long for the two to be back in the main hall with all of the goblins, now both cash and a goblet richer.

"Well.. that was remarkable easy." Lieve commented.

"Yeah." Regulus nodded.

"Ye should think some-thing had happened now, it dinnae feel right without some unforeseen disaster happening." Lieve commented warily looking over her shoulder as if she expected an dementor to just pop up and bite her head off.

"Lets just get out." Regulus sighed.

"Wait!" Lieve suddenly stopped him.

"What is it?" Regulus asked bracing himself for the disaster which had been waiting to happen.

"Dinnae ye think, now that we are here, it would be a good idea to exchange some wizard coins into muggle cash?" Lieve asked.

"OH!" Regulus realised. "Of cause! Good idea!" he stated.

* * *

And very surprisingly, they ended up right back in the muggle world with all what they needed. "oookay." Lieve nodded. "What now?"

"Get far away before Bella goes on a rampage when she discovers the key is gone, and when she gets here she'll know it's us who took it." Regulus muttered.

"Yeah, no that's no more trouble than we were all ready in." Lieve sighed.

"I beg to differ." Regulus sighed even deeply as they started walking. "I think you-know-who were more focused on other people than us, but when he finds out we stole a horecrux."

Lieve nodded. "What do we do with it?" she asked.

"I don't know, destroy it if we can." Regulus hesitated.

"Ye have no idea what-so ever what we should do, do ya?" Lieve asked with a raised eye-brow.

"Oh now you are just stating the obvious." Regulus snorted as he rolled his eyes. "Severus did use inferi on that ring.. But.. back at the phoenix fighters he also said under no circumstances should use that, the risks far out-weights any good things." He told.

"Well that's a sure bumper in the road." Lieve commented. "So there's no where for us to go from here?" she asked.

Regulus inhaled. "Well maybe." He hesitated. "Now that we are in London. We could warn the ministry about Crouch."

Lieve nodded. "I hoped ye'll say that, I mean at least we got to try right?" she asked.

"Yeah.." Regulus hesitated. "Only, we need to think this through though.." he pondered. "I mean.." he stopped up as they stood infront of what looked like a rustic muggle restaurant. "Are you hungry?" he asked. "I'm practically starving."

Soon they were seated in the back-corner of the restaurant each with their plate of pasta for the first time warming up after having been outside just walking for weeks on end.

"So first priority is cleared, get the cup." Lieve nodded. "And then we need to, find a way to destroy it, warn the ministry and well, see if we can get more information."

Regulus nodded. "Trouble just is if we warn the ministry they have every right to hold us in and question us, we are caring a stolen item and they would just take it from us, we can't let that happen."

"Aye, that seem to be a wee bit of a problem." Lieve nodded thoughtfully chewing on the pasta. "I don't want to be interrogated." She told honestly. "What do ye think they would do?" she asked.

"I have no idea." Regulus sighed deeply. "And well, I don't even know how much of the ministry we can trust, we can't go to the head of law and order, we know he is an imposter, who else?"

"Erh.. the minister?" Lieve asked.

"There's no way he would listen to two run-away students like us. Good try though." Regulus sighed.

"Well, there has to be some-one we can warn!" Lieve tried hopelessly "Does it really matter who? As long as some-one else than us knows."

"Lieve, we have just been us for these weeks, we are alone." Regulus sighed as he slunked back in his seat. "I don't know who else to trust."

Lieve sighed dropping the fork and looked hopelessly at Regulus. "We got to think of some-thing." She muttered again eyeing Regulus's back pack where the horecrux was hidden away.

Regulus himself lifted up the backpack and opened to look at the glistening cup, it seemed like such a beautiful inviting object, like it was happy to be found by him, Regulus smiled vaguely at the horecrux before suddenly an urging came in his head, a very sudden but decisive urging and he picked the cup up to hand it to Lieve, the cup rejoiuced by the hand over, but Lieve looked confused. "Wha?" she asked.

"They'll be more likely to search me than you, they will believe that I have it." Regulus stated promptly. "I am a Black, I would be considered a prime suspect while you get away with the claim of being an second-hand accomplished, we can trick them into thinking you didn't know what you were doing. In fact you could easily slip away while they are busy with me."

"But." Lieve opened her mouth.

"See that's the brilliant thing." Regulus cut her off. "I know you know exactly what you are doing, the marauders back at Hogwarts now you know, but it would be so easy to trick the ministry people, cause they see what they want to see, they'll just see a dumb person because it's easier for them to deal with. trust me I speak from experience." He stated making Lieve crock an eye-brow at him. "_And_." Regulus added. "I know for a fact you would never ever hand that cup over to any-one. I know I can trust you on this, you wont let me down."

Lieve looked stunned at Regulus, then blushed as she put the cup away in one of her large pockets in her robe. "Thanks." She muttered. "I'll do me best." She stated quietly holding a hand over the pocket with the cup, and then buttoned it tightly, clapping the bulk. Before she looked up. "One more thing." She stated. "_Please_ tell me we are going to find a hotel with beds and a bath now!" she asked in almost pleading voice. "And hand-wash to wash clothes in!"

Regulus blinked. "You can wash clothes in the hand-wash?" he asked confused.

"If there's water and soap ye can wash." Lieve assured. "please!" she then begged. "Me very hair is driving me nuts it's so itchy!" she complained drawing both hands to her all-ready unruly hair scratching it around so it became an even bigger mess. "I know ye can afford it, rich boy." She commented in a slight eye-roll. "What do ya need so much money for?" she asked.

"Upholding the Black tradition of never doing actual work." Regulus answered. "No one has had a real work in my family for generations." He told.

"That sure explains a lot." Lieve commented in a slight eye-roll. "But please, bath! I am itchy all over from this."

Regulus himself could feel it as she had mentioned it, he felt greasy and dirty, not a particularly nice feeling and not some-thing he was accustomed to, he had always been a very clean neat person caring a lot about his personal hygiene, and being reminded of his own state made him shutter inwardly. "Oh trust me, we are definitely going to find a resting place with infinite amounts of hot water in the shower." He stated. "And I am going to ignore that snarky comment." He stated in a lifted eye-brow. "But only because I am honestly surprised you mind dirt on you." He returned in a teasing grin.

"Getting out in dirt nay, walking around smelling all day, are ye crazy?" Lieve asked Regulus. "What do ye think I am? A grouch?" she asked. "Just because ye like flying doesn't mean ye don't shower afterwards!"

"Point taken." Regulus smiled amused. "Here's for a well accomplished mission." He stated raising a glass.

Lieve smiled warmly back at him. "Aye, and for the rest of it to go as well." She stated, all though as she klinked glass with Regulus, she could swear her pocket, the heavy one with a cup in it, was almost chuckling at their ease of this little breathing room.


	55. The ministry of magic

Regulus could feel his heart all the way up his throat to be perfectly honest, the anticipation was almost unbearable as he and Lieve for the first time in a month was going to interact with other wizards.

Having had warm beds over night and hot showers were only to well deserved, the cup was currently tugged far away in the bottom of Lieves bag-pack, so far all was well.

Lieve to looked beyond shaking as her eyes nervously darted around the alley way.

"Are you all right?" Regulus asked slightly concerned.

"Aye, of cause.. I mean erh, I'm behind ya." Lieve assured.

"Hey it's all right." Regulus told laying an assuring hand on her shoulder. "I know you talk a lot, but you actually never talk about what you are feeling, maybe that is what is needed to get order in that funny head?" he asked lightly knocking on her forehead.

"Wha a ye implying?" Lieve asked annoyed pushing his hand away.

"It's just erh.. I don't want to see you.. urhm." Regulus wanted to say he didn't want to see her break down, some-how express his worries, but he just weren't good at that thing with handing out personal feelings.

"It's just erh.. before we go in, there's something I maybe should tell ya." Lieve told in a tiny unsure voice looking down on the ground. "Because I know, the ministry currently dinnae like.. magical creatures.. half breeds, any-thing that has any-thing to do with tha' sort of stuff." And then she stopped, just looked down with her hands folded.

Regulus smiled a little amused. "You are worried they will be after you because you and your family is defender of that such sort of thing?" he asked.

"Sort of.." Lieve bit her lip. "Bu' tha' is only half of it."

"Don't worry about it Lieve, honestly." Regulus told. "We wont get sepperated."

"No listen, this is important!" Lieve stated grabbing Regulus's hands looking pleadingly up at him. "If they take us in, I'm sure it would come up, I would rather have you heard it from me then.. then, I wanted to tell you earlier but I didn't tell any-one, not even Remus nor Paddy." She looked pleadingly up at him, her eyes had never looked so huge nor desperate.

"Lieve." Regulus exhaled.

"If you want to laugh then fine, but please don't leave me behind, not again." Lieve blinked before closing her eyes. "I erh.. I." she twisted her hands.

"I wont leave you behind." Regulus swore. "It really can't be that bad can it?" he asked with a slightly raised eye-brow.

That seemed to be the right words as Lieves hands finally stopped twisting, instead she lifted a hand towards her unnatural bright orange messy hair, only to push it behind her ear to reveal.. that ear didn't look right it was, Regulus frowned, it was slightly pointy.

"Me Grandmother was a Norwegian forest troll, me dad was half.. I'm third part." She looked up at Regulus with those shining blue eyes, which Regulus first now put together was not a hundred percent human. "I'm part troll." Lieve whispered. "That is what the gnome is Gingrots was talking about, it's not usual for any wizard to talk to or treat halfbreeds as equals." She mumbled. "Go ahead, laugh." She lowered her head.

"I'm not laughing." Regulus made aware and indeed he was not, actually he was a bit stunned. "And you kept that secret from.. from every-one?" he asked.

Lieve nodded which made her hair fall back into place covering her pointed ear.

"How did you..." Regulus shook his head stopping himself, as if he had decided. "It really doesn't matter, at least not to me." He stated laying a hand on Lieves shoulder.

"I'm not ashamed!" Lieve stated at ones. "My grand-mother is a very kind lady, and me father was the best in the world." She stated.

"I know." Regulus smiled vaguely. "But no one wants to be laughed at, it's fine. Come on, the two of us, we have work to do."

"Aye." Lieve nodded. "Well then." She breathed looking at the phone-booth in front of them. "Lets get going then ei?" she asked.

Regulus nodded and they both stepped into the phone-boot, Regulus quickly grabbed the phone and pressed the three zero's for a cold females voice filled the little room. "Welcome to the ministry of magic, please inform of your name and errand."

"Regulus Acturus Black and Lieve O'Hara."

"Lieve birdsong O'Hara." Lieve injected.

Regulus lifted an eye-brow. "Really?" he asked.

"Well, me dads side of the family have some traditions which is not exactly.. traditional." Lieve told honestly. "And dinnae look at me, ye are called. Regulus _Acturus_."

"It's an old family name." Regulus shoot back. "All blacks for centuries has been called things that has some-thing to do with the star sky, my fathers first name is Orion."

"Wow, talk about ego." Lieve blinked. "Nothing but the star sky is good enough for the Blacks huh?"

"Yeah I know." Regulus sighed before speaking to the phone again. "We are here with important information about the war, but it's kind of important not to many hears it to."

With a slight rumbling sound the machine spat out two badges where upon Regulus's and Lieves names were written with the under title. "War spies."

"Erh yeah, better not wear those." Regulus blinked while Lieve took the badges and stuffed them away in one of her many pockets.

"Welcome to the ministry of magic." The female voice then greeted as the room Regulus and Lieve were standing in began to sink and the elevator went all the way down to the ministry before it opened to a room buzzing and summing with life, people quickly walking back and ford, lines of wizards standing, no one took any notice of the two teenagers pressing against each other.

"It's a maze." Lieve realised.

"Yeah, and this actually looks very calm today." Regulus honestly informed.

"Where do we go from here, who do we talk to?" Lieve asked bewildered.

"Well urh.. the Auror office I suppose." Regulus then stated grapping Lieves wrist. "Come on." He simply stated pulling her with him towards the elevator, only stop by the sight of the currently opened elevator pulling Lieve with him.

"Wha-wha?" Lieve asked in a blink.

"My uncle Alfred was on that elevator." Regulus hissed, only to shovel Lieve aside again.

"What was it this time?" Lieve asked.

"My cousin Narcissa." Regulus told flatly before shovelling Lieve aside again. "Aunty Lisseta" he told before shovelling Lieve aside again. "And that would be gran cousin Damion"

"Regulus, are ye related to every-one here?" Lieve asked a little impatiently.

"Urh.. kind of." Regulus admitted with bowed head leading Lieve through the masses again skillyfully avoiding a ton of people.

"What are yer family dinners like?" Lieve asked astounded.

"Like hug formal tea parties where all sits around the table while drinking tea, upholding the manners, talk politely and silently without ever really saying what they mean because it's to important to look cool." Regulus whispered.

"That's sounds surprisingly boring." Lieve admitted.

"Yeah, I bet your family parties at least were real parties." Regulus smiled slightly amused.

Lieve nodded absently. "Time for me dad the play the violin as they would like to say.. are there free coast now?" she asked.

"No." Regulus admitted a little hopelessly looking at a pair of men who looked really important as they just stood talking to each other.

"We should really have done some-thing abou' yer appearance before going in here." Lieve commented before brightened up. "Oh hey look! Me uncle Joe." She pointed.

Regulus followed the finger and saw a very large man with thick practical yet clearly used shabby robes, wearing a broad shadowed hat which only allowed Regulus to see some of the bright orange thin hair and beard, the man himself looking like a huge brick as he passed the three slender elegant looking men Regulus's attention had priorly been on. "Why am I not even surprised?" he asked himself. "Okay now the coast is clear." He stated grabbing Lieves wrist again and quickly pulling her towards an open elevator where the two were quickly pressed into a corner by a flood of people, and thus it was far to late as a figure both Lieve and Regulus recognised stepped in.

Lieve turned quiet, you could almost see how all the blood was leaving her face and Regulus's jaw tightened as he assuredly laid a hand on Lieves shoulder as in front of them looking the other way, stood on Yaxley, looking rather dull. "Don't do some-thing rash." Regulus whispered in Lieves ear.

The anger how-ever was burning in Lieves eyes and her fist tightened, Regulus was not completely sure what she thought about, but it couldn't be good and trying to calm Lieve down' Regulus tightened to grip he had on her shoulder. "don't." he simply said, and finally the elevator opened and thankfully Yaxley stepped out and let the way for three other people to stop in, an elderly looking woman, a young man and a young exotic looking woman dully reading her papers. They went to the next floor and Regulus whispered. "That's our stop." And the two tried to squueze out. "Excuse me, sorry." Regulus mumbled as he bumped into several people.

"Excuse me, excuse me sir." Lieve almost echoed from behind, but it was only to natural for one of them to trip, oddly enough Regulus he fell directly into the exotic looking woman making her loose all the papers.

"I'm so sorry!" Regulus apologised at ones trying to get away from the woman.

She how-ever was frozen starring at Regulus, clearly some-how recognision him, and frightened Regulus looked back.

"Idiot?" The woman blinked.

"What?" Regulus returned.

Then the womans eyes fell on Lieve and her eyes widened. "Oh my." She whispered before just grabbing Regulus shoulder, reaching for Lieves arm and grabbing her as well pulling them in. "You two be very quiet and stay with me." She whispered.

"Who…" Regulus began but was cut off.

"That's not important, what is is you two walking right in here! They are all looking for you." The woman hissed. "Bow your head." She then demanded as the gitter opened ones again a couple of men stepped past them, the woman actually forced the two to bow their heads with her hands.

"Have we met?" Lieve then asked in a whisper.

"Sort of." The woman responded.

"Why should we go with you?" Regulus then snorted. "I don't know who you are."

"Look! I am your best shot right now! You are in the middle of a wipers nest!" The young woman whispered to them. "Just trust me for five minutes! I'm on your side honest! I wont let any-one shady know you are here."

"But people should know." Regulus hissed back. "We have information! Important information." He whispered as the door opened and the last people who were not the three of them stepped out leaving them alone as the gitter closed and they went up.

The woman smiled slightly. "About Barty Crouch being an imposter?" she asked mysteriously and then flashed a grin. "Don't worry! Lots of important people all ready knows! At least does not willing to instantly throw you guys in a cell."

Stunned Regulus blinked. "How." He managed to ask.

The woman threw her long smooth hair behind her shoulders as she grinned. "Because I told them!" she stated proudly.

"But how would you know?" Regulus asked.

"Think about it and I am sure it will come to you." The woman smiled teasingly. "Idiot."

"Ohhh." Lieve realised. "I get it!"

"I like you how-ever." The woman blinked.

"Get what?" Regulus asked annoyed. "What? What happened?" he asked annoyed. "What am I missing?"

Lieve was just about to open her mouth but the woman hushed. "Let the idiot find out for himself."

Annoyed Regulus crossed his arms. "I'm _not _an idiot!" he stated.

"Well, at least not as big one as ye brother." Lieve blinked.

Regulus gaped at her just in time for the elevator to stop at the top floor.

"Come come! Hurry!" The woman whispered them out. "This way!"

"What are you! Where are we going?" Regulus asked angrily trying to fight back.

"To a place I can hide you until I can get you out, no one ever comes here! Well, accept for the person owning the office, but you can trust him!" the woman told. "Honest!"

"Wait a minute! You'll just expect me to blindly put me trust in you?" Regulus asked. "Just like that? Because you are the one to recognise us in a elevator."

"I trust her!" Lieve put in.

Regulus was just about to open his mouth to object, but then his eyes feel on Lieve who looked so sincere, and his mouth actually closed his mouth, though sourly and crossed his arms. "I'll have both of you know, it's not _her _I trust." He then stated glaring at the Cuban woman. Before being shovelled into a.. broom closest?

It felt like an broom closest in any case, it sure was tiny enough to be a broom closest, but some-how there had been managed to be stuffed a desk in there, and the desk had some-how become personalized, it was messy as hell, but there was pictures.. lots of baby pictures, of small red haired babies laughing and crawling around.

"Just stay here." The Cuban woman then begged.

"Hold on!" Regulus stopped her. "You know who we are! At least give us a name here!" he demanded.

"Lola." The woman then answered very quickly. "Lola Zeppaline." She told. "And I'm merely a trainy, meaning I bring out the papers, but I assure you can trust me! I owe you my life!" she stated and then hurried out again closing the door leaving the two in complete darkness inside of the crammed room.

"How could we owe her her life?" Regulus asked annoyed.

"Ye really havn't figured yet?" Lieve asked amused.

"NO!" Regulus yelled. "So why don't you tell me all ready."

"This is actually more fun." Lieve then admitted. "Would ye mind putting on some light?"

"oh for the love of." Regulus gritted. "Lumos." He then stated drawing his wand bathing the tiny room in a blue light. "What is this office?" he then asked looking around. "Must be pretty low on the important list for the ministry." He commented.

"Aye." Lieve nodded. "So no doubt it's some-thing about treating lesser intelligent creatures nicely, or just different creatures."

"Good guess." Regulus then admitted picking up one of the baby photo's. "Family of yours?" he then asked gesturing at the bright red hair of the babies.

"Nayte wha' I know of." Lieve told honestly. "Then again, me gran dad seems to be in the long run some-what related to all red-haired wizards out there, ya know, Prewetts and Weasleys, never met any of those though."

"We are so all in-breed." Regulus muttered looking at the picture, that was when the door knob started to turn. "HIDE!" Regulus then exclaimed dropping the picture and dragging Lieve with him down beneath the desk, both just managed to get down there as the door opened and the room was bathed in warm light ones more only as the door closed, the light was still on, it didn't take to many foot steps for a pair of legs to be right in front of Lieve and Regulus, neither whom dared to breath, but almost clung to each other in sheer fear.

Some scrambling sounded from above, it sounded like who-ever it was was fixing the picture, and then his foot rammed into Regulus, making both teenagers gasp.

For some moments there was silence, and then all of a sudden, a head looked beneath the desk, the head belonged to a red-haired younger man, he had nice features, brown eyes and a moustace, though his eyes were now widened in surprise as he looked right at Regulus and Lieve whom now both shrieked clinging to each other. The man equally startled by their shriek shrieked in return and fell back on the floor.

Regulus thumbled with his wand and finally shakingly pointed it at the man. "I.. I got my wand here! Don't make a sound!"

"Wait!" The man raised his hands. "Relax! Put the wand down! I'm not going to hurt you!" he assured.

"How do I know?" Regulus asked with squinted eyes.

"I don't hurt people!" the man told. "If you are muggle borns afraid of the ministry! I wouldn't give you in! I promise! I actually hope to enhance the relationship between Muggles and Wizards, Muggles are wonderful!" he stated. "And look! I didn't even draw my wand! It's right here in my belt! I could have but I didn't."

Regulus squinted his eyes but finally lowered his wand though didn't let go.

"I guess that's a start." The man then commented. "Now who are you and what are you doing in my office?" he asked.

"Lola shovelled us in here." Lieve then informed. "She said we could trust the owner of the office."

"Lola?" The man asked slightly confused and then raised his eye-brows. "Oh Lola." He then said. "Yes you can trust me, look. My name is Arthur Weasly." He then told. "And you are?" he then asked.

"Weasley?" Regulus blinked. "You are one of the families burned off the family tree."

At that Weasley looked a bit more resigned at Regulus.

"Erh.." Regulus blinked. "But I'm not with them any-more, I do think I'm burned off to.. think.." Regulus hesitated. "I'm Regulus black."

"Well I've been damned." Weasly blinked. "Then that must be." He looked at Lieve. "Lieve O'Hara. I can't believe we found you!"

"Found us?" Regulus asked.

"We have been looking every-where for you!" Arthur exclaimed reaching a hand towards Lieve to help the girl up. "Ever since you broke into Lerstrange manor."

"Wait? How do you even know that?" Regulus asked as he rose up.

"And what do ye mean we?" Lieve asked.

"Well a little birdie told us you were at that manor and were looking for some-thing, Dumbledore found it very important to find out what." Weasly informed. "And as for we, well." He folded his hands. "Lets just say there are some people who actually tries to do some-thing about that menace creating chaos out there." He gestured at the door.

Regulus how-ever frowned as he stood up, the office really were tiny, all of them almost squeezed in there, Regulus looked around and saw what-ever little space there was in there was occupied by either family pictures of toddlers and a lovely looking red-haired woman or muggle related things.

"You really do like Muggles." Regulus realised.

"They are fascinating." Weasley stated. "Can you imagine what cleverness it must have taken for them, to come as far as they did without Magic, see I believe, in some aspects, they are in front of us in the evolution of society, they have to do be, they have to be smart."

"True." Regulus wondered. "That is true." He blinked. "And yes.. it is fascinating."

Lieve beamed as a happy little sun as she tiptoed up and down.

Regulus frowned at her. "What?" he asked.

"Ye find Muggles fascinating!" Lieve pointed at him. "Regulus Black! Of the great pure Black Family! He is curious about them muggles!"

"Shut up." Regulus blushed embarrassed. "It's nothing to yell about."

Just at that moment the door swung open causing all three in the room to gasp as a rough looking man with wiry gray hair and out of proportions body stood in the door.

Lieve and Regulus gasped by the sight of him, ducking down the table, only for Weasley to yell out.

"MOODY!" he gasped in surprise. "Don't startle me like that Alastor!"

"Well I say, so it really is them." Alastor Moody snorted. "Well I be damned."

"Sir!" two younger people, a man and a woman appeared right behind him, as their eyes fell on them. "It's them! It's really them!"

"Longbottom! Weatherfield!" Alastor snorted. "I told you to stay out of this!"

But there was very little to do, Alastor was shovelled inside of the room by the two as the woman hurried in.

"Alice, dearest, you are frightening them." The young man said.

"I just can't believe we found them!" Alice stated as all of them moved into the room.

"Hey!" Suddenly Lola was there to. "Are we having an order meeting in here I wasn't invited to?" she asked also pressing herself into the tiny office.

It was a wonder any-one could breath in there, Regulus and Lieve had search refuge on top of the desk where the were breathing space, though had incidentally knocked over what ever laid up there, they had been joined by Alice whom had all ready almost fallen down ones where Frank barely had managed to grab her.

Alastor moody were pressed up against Arthur Weasly and Lola desperately tried to get closer to all of them.

"Longbottem, Weatherfield, Zeppaline, _Get out!_" Moody roared. "We can't all be collected here, what if we got discovered!"

"I just wanted to meet the kids." Alice complained.

"I can't get out." Frank replied as he honestly had trouble turning around.

"I was the one who found them, you can't send me away!" Lola complained.

"I can't breath!" Weasly stated in a loud gasp.

And as if that wasn't enough, another person had at that time decided to join the party, an older broad shouldered man with wiry gray hair whom just shouted. "O'HARA! BLACK!"

"Johan, what the devil are you doing here?" Moody shouted. "_Move back!"_

"I need to speak with Black and O'Hara." Johan growled. "_Now!" _

"We all need to talk to them." Weasley shouted over all of them.

"No you don't understand!" Johan sneered back.

"Oh that is so typically you, all high and mighty aren't you?" Moody snorted. "Even though I never heard of you up until six months ago!"

"And in those six months, may I remind you." Johan sneered. "I've given you more results than all the time the order has existed priory."

"Do you have the slightest idea what is going on?" Regulus whispered to Lieve he was pressed up against.

"Nay." Lieve shook her head. "Please don't leave me."

"Same to you." Regulus swallowed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" now a young taller black skinned man stood in the door, fortunately being tall enough to raise above the rest.

"Kingsley." Moody rolled his eyes as he let out a long defeated sigh.

"You people need to split!" the black man exclaimed. "Right now! Yaxley smelled a rat and he is coming!"

It didn't take more than that, people starting to burst out of the room.

"What do we do with the kids?" Alice shouted. "We can't let them be discovered!"

"We are not kids!" Regulus stated a little sourly, despite the fact he was secretly happy that Lieve was holding his arm rather tightly so they wouldn't get sepperated in the tumult.

"I'll take them!" Johan gritted grabbing Regulus's wrist rather harshly almost hurting him and forcely pulled both Regulus and Lieve out. Only for Regulus to discover that Lieve held his upper arms so tightly that it was almost hurting.

"Lieve, please!" he gritted as they were pulled through the hall-ways, only to finally get a glimpse of what her face looked like, suddenly it was in torment and struggle. "What?" he asked.

"Yaxley." She barely whispered. "He said Yaxley." Her voice was filled with venom yet bit back as was she ashamed of it.

"And what." Johan in front of them sneered. "Is so important about that one?"

"_HE IS THE ONE WHO KILLED DAD!"_ Lieve shouted surprisingly loud in a even more surprisingly angry tone. "I should kill the bastard!"

Suddenly the three was pushed into a room the elder man behind them. "Indeed you should, it would be your right wouldn't it?" Johan snorted. "But are you willing to pay such a price little miss? Become a murderer?"

Lieve bit her lip as she ashamed looked down. Regulus firmly grabbed her shoulder looking towards the door which Johan was peering out of. "Hide in the closet." Johan demanded. "Use a chameleon charm."

"Oh I got some-thing better." Regulus stated grabbing his bag to pull out a silvery cloak.

Johan glanced at the item, a glimmer appearing in his eye before he nodded. "A valuable object." He stated as Regulus threw it over the two of them as they pressed toward the corner.

For some time nothing much happened, Johan kept pearing through the window without saying a word, it felt like so long as they just stood there, completely tense, then Johan sprung towards his desk and lifted a pen, so as when the door opened moments after, it looked like Johan had been sitting there for some time in the middle of his work.

It was Yaxley in the door.. and two other people. "Hmp." Yaxley snorted.

Johan didn't move. Regulus how-ever, could feel Lieve tense considerably right beside him.

"Hmpf hmpf!" Yaxley grumbled even higher.

First then did Johan look up. "Oh." He stated in a almost lazed tone, certainly it sounded like he saw no reason to bother. "Didn't see you there Yaxley." He stated in a beyond bored tone.

Yaxley gritted his teethes. "I'm been told to search all the office's on this floor." He told.

Johan lifted an eye-brow. "So we are now supposed to hide muggleborns in these broom closest's?" he asked. "Well have a look." He spread out his arms. "Shouldn't take long, even for a thick head as you." He gestured at his office which even though being bigger than Weasleys, were still rather small, and this time bare… it didn't take more than a look to see all of it.

Yet apparently Yaxley had some-thing personally against Johan, so he stomped in regardless and threw over Johans table, just to create a mess.

Regulus held his own breath as he felt Lieve shaking right beside him, he had his hand on her shoulder and now squeezed it, reminding her of his presence.. don't do some-thing rash.. please don't do some-thing rash.. he kept on begging as Lieve shook more and more beneath him, growing more and more tense..

Regulus closed his eyes as Yaxley scowled around and Lieve was shaking as a leaf.. the girl honestly tried.. tried so much.. but Regulus remembered her exploding and each time it was with full force, the day Severus had been kidnapped at Hogsmead Lieve had sworn like Regulus had never heard before.. at the mansion with Yaxley she had spit and spat.. at the muggle village… She was the type with temper issues when things were burning hot.

It was Lieve in a nutshell.. she would keep on suppressing until the cup was full and she would exploid.. suddenly Yaxley was inches in front of them, maybe if they just stood still they would have a slight chance.. if he just turned around.

But Regulus had seen it coming even before it happened, Lieves fist zoomed forward and planted itself firmly in Yaxleys face sending the surprised death-eather onto his back and Lieve was just about to throw herself after him.

"NO!" Regulus shouted grabbing Lieves neck holding the girl back. "Control yourself!"

"LET ME HAVE HIM!" Lieve shouted. "_Let me have all of them!" _

"IN HERE!" Yaxley shouted. "THEY ARE IN HERE! Johan you are dead and gone for this!" he grinned.

Johan simply flickered his wand at Yaxley whom without the verbal warning couldn't shield himself and was blasted through the room and the door.

"Frankly, that is more an inconvience to me than an actual threat." Johan snorted before his eyes landed on Lieve. "But I still hate inconviences." He drawled. "an slight inconvenience for me might mean death for a dusin other people little miss." He hissed grabbing Lieves arm. "NOW COME ON!" he shouted pulling the irish with him out of the door and lead them through the hall ways towards the elevators.

All ready a number of people were after them and Johan skill fully shielded them while blasting a number of unfortunate passager buys.

"HURRY!" a voice shouted, it was Arthur Weasly having held on of the gitter elevators open. All three jumped in as Weasly smacked the door closed and the elevator started going down.

"How do you plan to get out?" Weasly asked Johan.

"I'll hope they haven't reached the main floor yet and take the fireplace." Johan hissed.

"No good!" suddenly a gray parrot with pink tail feathers had pressed itself through the gitters of the moving elevator and spoke directly to them. "They are ready there, you must conitnue all the way down to cellar levels." It spoke in perfect understanble human languet.

Regulus blinked. "That looks like the bird we."

"Saved at the mansion, aye." Lieve sighed deeply.

"Idiot." The bird blinked. "Animagus Lola to your service." The parrot scratched as she offered its leg as was it a greeting "Thank you for saving me good lady." She bowed at Lieve before turning back to Johan. "Dumbledore is on his way, maybe he is all ready in the building."

"Doubt that will help to much, Arthur if any-one ask I had you under a imperius curse." Johan stated.

"But all they will have to do is throw a tracer spell and they know I never had that curse on me." Arthur told.

"Well, time to make up for that isn't it?" Johan asked and without warning he flickered his wand at Arthur. "_Imperius."_

Just in time for the elevator to stop.. and it weren't at cellar level. But in the big entrance hall, all ready there were a welcome committee.

And in front of them stood a tall man with silver blond hair, shining blue eyes.. and he was an imposter. "No use pretending." The Barty Crouch imposter spoke. "We have you, come out." He stated.

Johan sighed deeply. "Stay close." He whispered at the two. "Do exactly as I say." He demanded. "Especially you." He harshly buried his fingers in Lieves shoulder making her gasp in surprise and pain.

The gitter was opened in front of them and with closed mouths the three stepped out, Arhtur being oblivious for the time being due to the spell just stood there, and Lola pretending to be as well sat on his shoulder in her bird form.

Johan stepped out pushing Lieve and Regulus in front of him.

Fake Crouch smiled lightly and satisfied. "So we found one of our death-eaters moles, hiding two spies."

Regulus bit together.. Crouch was the mole and the spy.. not them. At least not him and Lieve.

"Seems so." Johan retorted.

"Aurors." Fake Crouch smiled. "Take them.."

That was when Regulus got an idea, and insane idea.. but right now it was all that he got, and he wouldn't like to be taken in. He didn't have a desire to go Azkaban and he didn't dare to think what they would do to Lieve if they classiefied her as a beast. To top it off.. They had a Horecrux, under no circumstances could they see or touch that thing, he quickly drew his wand pointed it at Crouch and shoutled. "REVEALO!"

Crouch was hit and stopped in surprise, people gasped as suddenly his blond hair turned way darker, his skin paler, his frame thinner and his eyes… red.

Regulus almost dropped his wand, Lieve stood with wide open eyes and mouth, even Johan stiffened. Much had Regulus anticipated.. but not that.. not that at all. This was none other than.. Lord Voldemort, standing in their midst, and he looked surprisingly relaxed about it.

"Well that was an unfortunate turn of events." Voldemort remarked. "Twice have you now succeeded hitting me with a spell little man." He squinted his red eyes at Regulus. "This time around you spoiled my re-creation, I might should thank you, it was becoming boring." Voldemort stated as he licked his lips. "But you will not walk away alive this time around." He then stated in a sneer.

Johan stepped in front of the two his wand raised. "I think we should put that to the test." He said.

"Well, now that I have been revealed, fair is fair isn't it?" Voldemort asked and flickered his wand at Johan. Whom suddenly also changed appearance, he grew from being shorter than Regulus to a little taler, his tight broad frame tall and thin, his graying hair raven black, his skin smooth.

Yet another great gasp sounded from the audience and this time Regulus was ready to yell in surprise while Lieve really did scream.

For as it turned out, Johan was none other than Severus Snape, whom hadn't moved an inch after his reveal.

"Severus." Voldemort spoke. "Now that is a surprise, I knew Johan was a fake. Why else then insisting on always occluding.. but you." He squinted his eyes.

"Like-wise, I knew Crouch was a fake, had I known it was you I wouldn't have hesitated to expose you. Or better yet, kill you from behind." Severus responded in a even tone.

"That sounds anti climatic. Not very heroic at all." Voldemort nodded.

Severus shrugged. "If it gets the job done." He stated in an even tone

"You really would have made quite the servant." Voldemort nodded. "Quite the dark prince, it's funny I should feel regret about killing you now. But as you so frankly put it, if it gets the job done." And he swung his wand for Severus to reflect it and send a spell back.

The ministry people stood there in aghast and awe, having no idea what to do or say.

"SEVERUS!" a white bearded man in a long blue robe stepped in front of him to reflect the next spell Voldemort were casting. "Get out of here, and what-ever you do, keep them safe!" Dumbledore demanded.

"Not now old man!" Voldemort hissed of the old head-master. "I'll deal with you later!" he yelled angrily trying to go for Snape only for Dumbledore to block again. "_GO!_" Dumbledore demanded.

Severus how-ever all ready had pulled them into the elevator again and the last thing Regulus saw as they went downwards was Voldemort and Dumbledore fighting, sending beams of great power towards each other, and.. it looked like some people were coming to Voldemorts aid, then the scenery was all gone. Only for Severus to turn around and stare down at on them with lighting dangerous eyes.

Regulus and Lieve were just lost for words.. to much had happened in far to little time, they just gaped.

And the one who broke the silence was the parrot as she transformed into a Cuban woman in front of them. "I don't believe it!" she shouted in a frustrated tone. "All this time! All this lecturing _me _about war and what's not! And you are younger than I am!" she pointed at Severus.

"The fact that the dark lord himself was exposed twenty feet away from you and age is the thing you complain about seems to show-case pretty much what level of maturity you have reached." Severus snorted right back.

"Sev.. Seve.." Lieve started.

"And if you call me Seve-us as much as one time, I swear I'll hex you into the next century! You two have created plenty of trouble for one day!" Severus stated sourly.

"Hey! I did expose Voldemort!" Regulus commented.

"Please, I could have done that any-time." Severus snorted. "The plan was to watch him and find out whom his contacts were so we could take all of the deat-eathers which had infiltrated the ministry all at ones."

"Well, still better than be taken in." Regulus stated.

"Even that we had under control, there are multiple members from the order of phoenix with the Aurors, they would have been able to smuggle you out, I can't even promise you that much" he stated. "You made a terrible mess out of things." He sneered. "You have moved from giving me an inconvienceings into creating a disaster, I would actually have thought better of you Mr. Black." He sneered.

Regulus wouldn't have counted for it to happen, but Severus's words actually made him fell back, made his heart sink to his stomach, Lieve equally so looked ashamed.

To add to the mess Weasley was wakening up and started to focus.. "Who." He looked at Severus. "Are you?" he asked.

"It's Johan who turned into an young guy." Lola stated pointing at Severus. "Unfortunately it didn't help that much on his looks, and even less on his personality, his charms are still in tact." She rolled her eyes.

"He what?" Arthur asked then looked at Severus. "Johan?"

"Severus Snape, actually. And before you get to confused, Johan never existed he was entirely I and Dumbledores invention."

"You cursed me." Arthur accused.

"And you'll be able to see your wife and children this evening, I think that evens matters out." Severus stated dryly as the elevator stopped only for cold to creep in and ice filling their lungs.

Regulus felt some-thing on his arm and looked down to see a pale and beyond terriefied Lieve holding onto him. "Dementors." She almost cried. "Why dementors?"

Regulus sucked in his breath. "I don't know." He whispered also him trying to lock out all of his feelings to the best of his ability.

"Well there's nothing for it! We have to find a fireplace!" Severus stated dragging them with him. "Lola, Arthur, stay behind you are much more valuable in the ministry than on the run." He shouted as he rounded a corner.

"SEVERUS, we are running straight towards the Dementors!" Regulus yelled.

"Which is exactly why we probably wouldn't run into ministrel people that way." Severus hissed as he flickered his wand. "Exspecto patronus!" he shouted, only for a silver fog to escape his wand.

"You can't throw a patronus?" Regulus asked disbelieving.

"Lily sure sounded like ye knew how!" Lieve gritted as she squinted her eyes.

"_I used to be able to!"_ Severus stated sourly throwing more silver fog around him.

"How can you forget how to throw a patronus?" Regulus asked.

"I _don't_ know!" Severus shouted. "Why don't you two do some-thing and help!" he asked.

"Cannae do magic, I'm sixteen." Lieve swallowed.

"WHAT!" Severus returned. "Why on earth would you bring a sixteen year old?" he hissed of Regulus.

"I don't care how old she is I'm glad I brought her." Regulus retorted drawing his wand as Lieve screamed while holding her head being in obvious pain.

"Excuse me for not sharing the sentiment." Severus wringed of Lieves scream as he send out another silver fog, and another one as three young people kept on moving forward, but it was of little help, the fog was getting thicker and thicker, the icing feeling closer and closer,

and Regulus started hearing voices now.. so close.. a girls scream, he disappointment, pen would be so disappointed..

As Regulus looked up he now saw the robbed creatures, Severus setting up quite a fight with his silvery fog, Lieve holding her head as was she in pain, her face retorted but not crying. "REGULUS!" suddenly Lieve grapped his collar shaking it as she looked up at him with made eyes looking animal like and panick striken. "CAST A PATRONUS! Make it stop! MAKE THE VOICES STOP!"

"I can't cast a patronus! I don't know how!" Regulus told hopelessly.

"TRY!" Lieve begged as she fell down on her knees screaming in agony,

Hopelessly Regulus looked at Severus casting his own silver fog. "It's not the memory it's the feeling connected to the memory, some-thing that you can always rely on." He hissed his instruction before swearing for himself. "It can hurt so terrible much, but it's so strong you know it will never leave you!"

_"Regulus how could you?" _Penelopes voice sounded in his head making Regulus squint his eyes. _"How could you do that to me? I trusted you.. I loved you. I hate you now! I hate you!" _then Regulus opened his eyes as he realised.. that wasn't the real Penelope.. she would never hate him, she would be disappointed in him, but she would never hate him.. She didn't even hate that Hufflepuff student whom had treated her so terrible.. she didn't even hate Severus for suddenly becoming so cold, she didn't hate the marauders for their bullying.. Penelope very literately, never hated any-one. He remembered back when he first fell in love.. and she didn't know, but she found out.. and her reaction.. deep blush, nervous fingering. _"You're my friend Regulus.." _she had hesitated. Regulus had been disappointed at that point, oh I see, only for her to grap his hand. _"If it should be any-one, I would want some-one whom is also my friend. Some-one I can rely on.. wanna go with me to Hogsmead?" _

Regulus couldn't help it, those memories were so warm, that even in this hopeless situation around him, where everything seemed to have gone in a slow.. the memory still warmed him, he was still capable of smiling as he waved his wand. "Exspecto Patronus!" and out shoot, a silver bullet flying in a circle making the dementors stand back. "HAH!" Regulus laughed triumphantly as the silver bullet zoomed around.

"Wha.. is tha?" Lieve asked her grip on her head loosen lightly.

"IT'S PENELOPE!" Regulus stated triumphantly. "She's come to help us again!" he yelled as the bullet slowed down and proved itself to be a tiny little blue-bird easily scaring all of the dementors away, before it circled around Regulus and back to the Dementors. It couldn't be larger than a tightened fist, but that didn't seem to bother the little bird as it happily scarred the dementors away.

Even Severus halted as he watched the little bird floating happily around the air, but at last he snapped out of it returning to his frown. "Hurry up!" he gestured through the hall way and towards another room.

As they entered he swiftly and quickly opened a fire in the fire place and found a pouch in his pocket with green powder he reached towards Regulus. "Go to 221 Greens Road Oxford." He instructed . "Go!"

Regulus didn't waste any-time and threw the powder in the fireplace, only to harshly push Lieve into the green flames and yell. "221 Green Road, Oxford, London!" and satisfied see her disappear, and first then threw himself in after her, to soon find himself spinning and huring across fireplaces, finally back to safety. Having had a pretty proactive day.

One horecrux found, one fake minister of magical defence exposed, one Severus Snape found..

Snape could say what-ever the hell he liked. Regulus had done pretty damn good.

First thing Regulus saw as he stepped out of the fire-place shocked him.. Lieve was being manhandled… by a little girl.

Despite being so little, that girl honestly scared the hell out of Regulus at first, she looked so vicious and violent, her hair poor and unruly making her looking like a beast, her eyes shining yellow and with a look that far exceeded her age as she held Lieve down demanded. "Who are you?" The girl half roared half hissed making her sound that much less like a little girl."What are you doing here?"

"They are with me." Severus's smooth voice explained as he himself stepped through the fireplace and the girl let go to stand up straight, straighten out her neat simple clean dress and looked expectant at Severus, as was she awaiting instructions.

With a few quick words Severus told her it was time for them to go.. not even bothering to explain any-thing else, the two of them just grabbed what looked like before-hand packaged bags, as if they had been expecting having to leave within a seconds notice any time of the day, and all of them was off through the door before Regulus had a chance to get as much as a feeling of the room.

As they were hushed through the streets of London, the little one kept on giving Regulus deeply suspicious looks, seriously sending chilling down his spine.

Then he had turned to Lieve to send her a wary smile, knowing he could draw comfort from her at least, but was suddenly faced with some-thing worse.

Her eyes, which some-how kept on seeing, kept on being interested in what went on around her.. were dead.

For a long time Regulus had seen the deadness and despair looming beneath under all what Lieve tried to force to the forefront of her mind, to get rid of it. Twice had the deadness appeared any-way.

The day Regulus had seen her come to the phoenix fighters for the very first time.. the same day she had gotten the message that her father had died.. and the day Penelope had died.

Both times she had fought against it and put it aside.. but now it was there again, in spite of their triumph.. and her face, had no expression as she just looked with-out seeing.

"Severus." Regulus had spoken in a low voice.

"What?" Severus had hissed back.

"Where are we going?"

Severus scoffed and finally told. "Some-where where we can hide. I don't even know whom is most wanted by the dark lord right now, me who openly first tricked him, then fought him in a wizard battle and got away alive, or you whom not only hexed him in the chest but now also openly exposed him.. I am probably still number one as he is afraid of me, but you Black. There's no returning for you either, going any-where where you could be recognised and you are _dead!" _

Regulus could feel the chill down his spine by the admission and suddenly felt some-thing on his arm, as he looked it was Lieve whom had grabbed him, and now hold on, almost squeezing as was she afraid that he would dissapear. "Where can we go there's safe?" she barely whispered.

"No where." Snape responded. "No where is safe for us, we can only hide."

"The farm is empty.." Lieve barely whispered. "Who would ever think to search at a farm in a little village in Ireland? The cold of a tent in the forest wont be good for the little lassie.. it's all ready frosty in the evenings.."

"Is the farm secluded?" Severus asked sternly.

Lieve didn't answer, as hadn't she heard.

"_Tell me_!" Severus demanded. "Is it secluded?" he asked. "the day after tomorrow night is full-moon and Evelyn here is a werewolf, normally I would have wolf-banes for her, but the cauldron would first be finished tomorrow and it is in my private study we can't go back to. She'll need to be able to run free in a forest far away from people."

Regulus halted at that, and looked at the little girl at new, he tried not to look to horrified by that piece of information, but it was just so sad as he looked at her, she was only a child!

Regulus knew very well had it been a year ago, he would have questioned if she was safe or even worth protecting.. But now things were different.

Lieve also looked at the girl, yet as her eyes were dead it was hard to say what she felt, even her voice was strangely without emotions as she spoke. "Not only is it fifteen miles away from the nearest village, surrounded by a magical forest protected against muggles.. There's also barriers ensuring the magical creatures wont get out from our own area.. it is perfect."

Regulus didn't remember much what had happened after that, only that suddenly. He was at some place very new.. a place unlike any-thing he had ever seen before. But also very sad.

Regulus genuinely had never seen a barn in his entire life, he really started to realise he had been living in the bobble his parents had put around him, and the world was so much bigger and complicated than that.

But even he could tell the barn wasn't supposed to look like that, it looked unused and haunted. Plants grew wild all around the place, covering the tools left around as had they been left on a moments notice.

Right beside him there was a fold, but it was empty, the railing having been broken open, the painting on the building was fading and the port stood wide open.

Most of all it looked like a ghost building and Regulus had a hard time deciding whether it was the sharp cold bitter wind or the sight of that place that made him shiver.

They had found themselves in a nice but haunted house due to the abandoned state, as soon as Regulus, Lieve and little Evelyn had been dropped off there, Severus was gone again in a instant.

Regulus had exhaled and leaned back with closed eyes. "Well, that was quite a mess." He awaited the respond from Lieve, which would be just a little bit snarky.. but none came.

Regulus lifted an eye and looked at the irish, she sat.. and she looked out in the air.. but her eyes did not see. "Lieve?" Regulus asked.

Her look was no stranger to him, she had it from time to time, but never that permanent. "Lieve?" he asked again.

The little one sat opposed them, looking at them with shining yellow eyes as if she was blaming them. And she didn't speak, just sat there.

"So erh.." he had cleared his throat after around an hour in complete silence. "Werewolf?" he asked the little one.

"Problem?" She returned in a voice drenched in venom sounding far more intimidating than should be allowed from a little blond girl.

"No no, not at all." Regulus had replied.. and that was the end of that conversation.

Finally, after several hours, as it had become dark outside did Severus return, only to be in furry as he stood up straight in front of them, looking intimidating and beyond scary.. not like a seventeen year old at all as his voice cold and demanding demanded. "Explain yourself."

Lieve didn't answer, didn't even look at Severus.. so it was left to Regulus. "Explain what?" he asked.

"Explain how you can possible justify to single-handedly break the war wide open." Severus sneered.

"It wasn't that bad." Regulus hoffed. "Voldemort got exposed in his post right? The ministry is back at our site, we won that battle."

"No." Severus spoke slowly. "We lost it." He said. "Horrible, Albus Dumbledore is now dead."

Regulus silenced stunned, Lieve looked up and Evelyn closed her eyes.

"The ministry was all ready crawling with death-eaters, they had slowly infiltrated the place for the past two years all ready. The few order members there had strict orders to not interfere should some-thing like that happen. It was Dumbledore against the dark lord on his own, maybe he could have won, but the dark lord decided to cheat and let his death eaters help him." Severus informed. "Slaying Dumbledore for every-one to see, in the middle of the ministry, do you realise what kind of message that send?" he asked. "Now every-body knows the dark lord owns the ministry and the wizard world, no one is left to challenge him. The entire wizarding world belongs to the Dark lord from this very moment."

Regulus closed his eyes, the feelings welling up in him. "But.." he muttered. "With the ministry crawling with death-eaters as you said.. you know who had all ready won, all that was left to make it official.. it would have happened regardless. Wouldn't it?" he asked.

"perhaps, perhaps not." Severus snapped. "There is no telling, but rest assured Regulus Black, you are no longer safe. Set a food outside and some-one recognise you, and it's the end of the line for you. The dark lord wants your head, and he is from this day the entire wizarding world itself."

'god Lieve.' Was Regulus's inner dialogue. 'say some-thing, break the tension!' apparently he had come to rely on her weird accent breaking any silence, a weird joke to distract him from any dark thought.. and now it just weren't coming.

Regulus wasn't any kind of guy with words, he didn't know what to say!

Dumbledore… Dumbledore had died tried to protect them? And Severus.. but still.

None of them had any-thing to say, Severus only offered a final scoff as he turned around, his cloaks billowing after him as he walked away. Little Evelyn only offering a final blaming glance as she walked away, and Lieve closed her eyes and turned her head.

Regulus lowered his head and then looked at Lieve whom was so silence. "It's just a phase." He told her quietly. "It'll be better."

"It'll be better." Lieve mumbled. "And then it'll be worse again.. as always." She turned all the way around wrapped her arms around herself. "You were right, the ministry had lost long before we got there, so you don't need to feel guilty.. Ye-know-who had all-ready won, we just didn't know it.. and we didn't chance a single little thing. We can hope and fight all that we want, but in the end it comes back and is twice as bad as before, just like always." She mumbled closing her eyes but clearly wasn't sleeping, her breathing weren't deep enough for her to be sleeping, and her posture not nearly relaxed enough, it was way to tense, she was even shivering.

It didn't take long for Regulus to pick up the old blanket beside him and spread it over the girl. "it's been a long day." He finally said going away to give her some peace.


	56. Getting the message out

At Hogwarts in the girl dorms of Gryffindor Lily was tossing and turning in her bed, sweat emerging from her forehead, her hate rate high.. but also she was silent.

In her dream all seemed so clear, crystal clear, more clear than real life.. she was running, running as fast as she could, her long limbs caring her through the land, her raven black hair flowing in the wind and her black wand held tightly at all time.

Towards a small cottage she ran, it wasn't as big yet as she knew it would become while the red-haired family expanded, but it looked messy as always. She jumped over the fench and vaguely noticed how great it was to have young legs ones more, but it was no more than a fleeting thought as she ran to the door to knock on it with both hands. "What happened back there?" she yelled in a dangerous venomous voice that sounded more fiendish than friendly.

From the garden came a red-haired lovely looking woman caring a little child, while having two a bit older ones around her. "Who are you?" the woman asked trying to shield her children.

"Is Arthur here yet?" Lily asked. "He should be here at any moment!"

The woman took a step back. "Did some-thing happen?" she asked horrified.

"Yes." Lily gritted her teethes. "Some-thing very very bad, so please. I am from the order." she assured.

The woman swallowed as she nodded. "Bill, Charlie. Go inside." She whispered to the two children.

The two children nodded looking astounded at Lily before they slowly walked towards the door, Lily closed her eyes and shortly saw flashes of Voldemort and Dumbledore fighting, before she opened them again.

The moment the children were at the door though, didn't manage to get through it at all, for it opened very suddenly, and it was Arthur Weasly, filled with sod indicating he had just jumped through a fireplace, whom burst out. "MOLLY!" he yelled and as his eyes landed on the woman he exhaled a thank-full breath and ran for his wife to embrace her and kiss her before he kissed the little child on the forehead. "And Percy." He whispered thankfully. "Children." He opened his arms to let the two small boys ran towards them which he embraced, first then did he discover Lily standing there. "You!" he exclaimed. "Black and O'Hara, did you.."

Lily lifted an hand. "They are safe." She promised. "Now please tell me, what happened after I left?" she asked in a horse urgent tone.

The man pulled his family closer as he looked suspiciously at Lily. "How can I trust you?" he asked. "You are under warrant as a dark wizard." He pointed out. "how can I now you weren't a spy?"

"Please, Dumbledore would have seen such a deceive miles away, he knew all the time whom I was." Lily assured. "Beside, I only want to know what any death-eater probably all-ready does, _what happened?_" she asked in a now forceful and demanding tone, not tolerating any objection.

Arthur swallowed as he pulled his family closer, his right arm protecting around his wife whom held the little baby close and his left arm protective over the two small boys. "I didn't see much." He hesitated. "When you left, I tried to get back to Dumbledore together with Lola, as I came up there, Dumbledore and Voldemort was still engaged in a one on one battle, I and the other phoenix order members exchanged looks, and we were all about the enter the battle.. then Dumbledore shouted that if any-one dared to expose themselves he would be solely disappointed.. he ordered us not to reveal ourselves so we wouldn't be killed.. in return you-know-who ordered his own death-eaters to reveal them selves.. there was so many of them, more than us, they took Dumbledore from behind, not even he could fend of that many." Lily could see it all now, she saw every-thing, as was she sitting in the ceiling for the minstrel building.

Dumbledore looking like such an frail old man as he thought against the much younger man whom seemed to have equal as much power, it took every little bit of Dumbledores concentration not to fal. "What-ever you people do." Dumbledore hissed yet it was loud enough for any-one to hear, it almost rung through the entire hall. "Don't reveal yourself men, then every-thing would be lost."

"Go ahead." Voldemort in return smiled. "Reveal yourself, the ministry is now ours."

In respond a jolt of red lighting hit Dumbledore and send the old man hurling through the air so he collapsed on the floor, Lily winced as if she could feel the pain herself, but didn't stop looking. "So.." Voldemort grinned as he lifted his wand. "You Dumbledore, the last one strong enough to have any hope against me."

Dumbledore shook his head. "Afraid you are wrong, what-ever you may think, you cannot win this." He stated.

Voldemort let out a laughter, a loud roaring laughter. "But don't you see? I all-ready did!" he stated triumphantly. "Whom is left who could possible stop me?" he asked, triumph in every note of his speech.

"I think you know who." Dumbledore returned in a even tone. "But even if you went on to kill him the next one will turn up, there will _always_ be some-one, and you drive them into becoming stronger than you." He stated in a sad tone. "You cannot win this. You never could."

"Shut up you old fool!" Voldemort hissed and then raised his wand. "_Avada Kadavra!" _a jet of green light, more than a jet, that colour filled Lily's entire sight spectrum, it blinded, all she could hear were all of those terrible screams, screams of pure terror, and a laughter, laughter in triumph. And then.. Lily herself screamed.

Lily sat up straight in her bed and she screamed, screamed on the top of her longs.

"LILY!" Bertha right beside her exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

Lily painted as she gasped for breath, suddenly she realized, she was back in her own bed, in her own dorm, confused Lily looked around. "It was so real." She whispered. "But… it never happened like that before.." she painted in deep breaths.

"What?" Maria asked in a groggy voice.

"Lily dearest, you are white as a sheet." Emmeline added. Oh great, all four girls in the girls dorm had apparently been wakened.

"When I.. dream his dreams.. they are always about the past not." Lily squinted her eyes hard together. "It can't be can it?" she asked. "Why now?" she asked and then she opened her eyes wide open. "OH GOD!" she yelled. "For gods sake! It's a disaster!" she jumped up from her covers threw them aside and jumped towards the door.

"What is?" Bertha blinked astounded.

"_Every-thing! _COME ON!" Lily yelled as she made haste down the stairs and through the common room not even noticing she hadn't given the girls time at all to follow her, as she was done there she ran up the next stair case, up to the boys dormitory threw the door open and merely yelled. "WAKE UP! GET UP!" she demanded.

"Wha-wha?" James blinked groggily as he turned around and blinked.

"YOU HAVE TO GET UP!" Lily exclaimed pulling the blanket away from Sirius whom fell down on the ground and Peter most literately jumped in shock and fright from his bed.

"Lily?" Remus's groggy voice blurred. "What's the matter?"

Also James blinked as he reached for his glasses to blink at Lily.

"DUMBLEDORE!" Lily exclaimed with wide-open arms.

"What about him?" James asked with a croocked eye-brow.

"He is dead!" Lily exclaimed in a desperate voice.

"What?" all four boys exclaimed simultaneously looking at Lily as she had gone mad.

James blinked and then shook his head. "Lily, why would you say that?" he asked.

"I saw it!" Lily exclaimed. "in my sleep! He was slayed by Voldemort, I think some-time doing the day!"

James frowned. "Lily listen to me, you are under a strain, it was a nightmare."

"No it's _not!_" Lily exclaimed. "I know what it was! It was Sev! Ever since I dug to far into his memories we have been linked, we shared dreams even if he doesn't know it, he is a sleep now and dreamed about what happened doing the day! And in the day he saw Voldemort battling Dumbledore, then he ran to this Arthur Weasley guy and used legimisy on him to see what Weasly saw." She desperately tried to explain. "Please!" she begged. "You must believe me!"

"Wait." Sirus squinted his dreams. "You share Snapes dreams? Can't you tell where he is from that?" he asked. "why didn't you tell us, we could have used that!"

"Doesn't work like that, a dream is a dream you know. I mostly just see images from his past." Lily tried to explain in a strained voice. "Or abstract images blurred together from all sorts of things, and it's thankfully not every night. Beside I am done running around looking for him, he would hate me if I did that. But this was different, this was recent, this happened right now!"

"Well, how do you know it wasn't just a vivid inlucid dream?" James asked robbing his eyes. "Go back to sleep Lily." He asked.

"NO JAMES!" Lily exclaimed. "Look at me, I am serious!" she exclaimed. "By tomorrow morning it will be announced that Dumbledore is gone, Voldemort took the ministry in that strike, and now he will try to send officials to the school, if we are going to do some-thing it has to be now before it happens!" she told deeply seriously looking James right in the eye. "Look at me! I am very serious." She stated in a stern voice.

James blinked as he looked at Lily, for some moments their eyes were locked, James's thoughtful and Lily's stern, then at last James nodded. "All right." He stated. "What is it you want us to do?" he asked.

"We need to give instructions to our friends in Slytherin." Lily stated in a slow stern yet controlled voice. "Whom-ever Voldemort sends will be likely to believe the Slyterins are all on their side, and we must let them stay in that belief, all slytherin phoenix fighters whom wants to speak up must keep quiet. I wont let any-one get hurt on my watch. Can you get to Diane and wake her up? Let her explain the situaion to the rest before morning?" Lily asked.

James nodded.

"Then go!" Lily ustered hurry.

"Man I wish I had my invisibility cloak." James managed to whisper beneath before he silenced. "Peter!" he suddenly exclaimed.

"What? What?" Peter jumped.

"Would you… do it as a favor?" James asked hopefully. "Please." He asked.

"Oh!" Peter suddenly realized. "I see, sure!" he stated and within a second, Peter had transformed into a brown rat.

"Good idea!" Lily nodded. "Peter! Listen closely, tell them all that I said before, they must appear to cooperate with whom-ever is in charge, but we are behind them it will all be an act, I will personally arrange a meeting ones needed, we figure a way to get the message across."

The little rat nodded and within a second it ran across the floor and down the stairs, only for girl screams to sound from the common room, probably Lily's dorm mates whom had finally found their way down there.

"We have to act like we know nothing, but it can never hurt to be prepared." Lily stated to the others. "If we would need to hide very quickly, where would be the best places, planning!" she stated to the boys.

"Easily figured." James stated pulling his back-pack up on the bed, then pulling his map out. "Come one guys, we gotta plan this out." He stated spreading it out.

* * *

"What the hell am I doing?" Peter thought to himself as he stormed through the walls of Hogwarts. "Why did I say yes so quickly?" he desperately asked himself.

He had not seemed to dangerous, he was just delivering a message, just delivering a message.. that was all, just do it quick and get out again!

Purposely and in a straight line Peter zoomed downwards towards the dungeon, the other Marauders may needed a map to find around, but he didn't, he knew all these creeks and secret passages as well as his own tale. Like a real rat he had a special gift for labyrinths and labyrinth like places, some-how he could always remember exactly where he had been and how to get out, and through all these creeks and cracks so many rooms had been revealed to him the others would never have been able to find.

Before he knew it Peter was above the Slytherin domintories, carefully he peered through a creek and squacked in fright as right beneath him laid a certain young light blond boy laid sleeping.

Slowly Peter willed his heart rate to lower, Barty Crouch jr. was _sleeping!_ There was no way he could do any-thing while sleeping, so logical Peter would be safe.. right?

Peter swallowed and continued, he had to go through several different dorms before his finally found the right one with the right blond.

Slipping through a crack Peter skipped down the wall ad jumped to land right in Dianes bed, only then to realize how rong this was! He was a boy sneeking in on a girls dormintory in the middle of the night! That was all kinds of wrong! But he didn't get any further than that because his jump had woken the blond and she now sat up straight, her eyes fell on Peter in his rat form and within a moments notice she screamed.

"A RAT!" she screamed and jumped up, only to grap a shoe. "All right! We soon fix this problem" she stated tightening her grip around her shoe.

Peter squacked in fright and fell backwards down from the bed and down on the floor, terriefied he saw Diane stomping closer and closer with her shoe ready in hand.

"WAIT!" Peter yelled but realized it was only a squeek coming out, then he squinted his eyes together and finally, managed to turn himself back. "Diggory wait!" he then exclaimed holding up two hands as to defend himself from where he sat on his knees on the floor.

Diane starred wide-eyed eyed at him with dropped open mouth, she even dropped her shoe in pure shock. "Petigrew!" she exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"James send me!" Peter explained at ones. "That means, Lily would send James and James send me."

"In the middle of the damn night?" Diane asked.

"yes, Lily needed to hand out instructions." Peter tried to explain as he gaped for air. "You see.. You-know-who took the ministry today.. when he killed Dumbledore."

Diane silenced stunned as she looked at Peter. "And Lily knew this how?" she asked.

"Some-thing about Snape." Peter tried to explain. "I don't know really, But she's serious."

Diane nodded. "All right." She then nodded and extended a hand towards Peter to help him up on his legs. "So tell me, what do I need to do?" she asked.

Only fifteen minutes after several Slytherins was gathered in the Slytherin common room, all whispering and the only thing ligting up the place being a couple of hasty put up candles and the few glows left from the fireplace.

"It'll be a weird time for us." Diane tried to tell the younger Slytherins. "We will be resisting but in a way so they wont know it's us whom is resisting." She stated. "Remember, these are the people who killed Penelope, whom wants to kill Severus, Regulus, our friends in the other houses, they may temp you. But try and remember them. That's why we need to resist." She stated. "You got any-thing to ad Peter?" she asked.

"What me?" Peter asked suddenly to realize several eyes were now festooned upon him and he felt the blood rushing to his head turning his cheek right as his tounge suddenly felt twice as big and his throat very tight and dry.. They all looked to him, as the oldest adult here, as their liason between them and the marauders.. he didn't know what to say or think. "I erh.." he swallowed. "You may be.. be afraid, but being afraid is not being a coward, being afraid and then do what needs to be done any-way, that's how you show courage." He echoed a couple of words James had given to him a good while ago and then abashed looked down. "So don't give into fear I.. guess.. you all… we all, we all know what's really right. So we just need to do what we all-ready know is right, that's all." He swallowed.

"Well spoken." Diane nodded. "Now, this is how we will coordinate in the future, hopefully that will throw people off the idea that we are communicating like this." Diane then stated.

That morning, Lily wandered down towards the great hall with a serious stern look on her face and a straight back, and the rest of the Marauders was right in her tale, they walked as an unity, only one not walking straight being Peter whom's look flickered unsure and whom's back was a little hunched.

Right before they got to the great Hall Diane ran towards them and stopped in front of Lily. Diane only needed one look at Lily's expression. "So it's true then." Diane exhaled. "The former phoenix fighters in Slytherin got your message, we will all try and act natural." She assured.

Lily nodded and reached out to place a hand on Peters shoulder. "You did good Peter." She told.

Peter bit together and looked down.

"You want us to do some-thing?" Diane then asked.

Lily shook her head. "No, right now we want to keep our circle small, if any-thing needs to be done, it will be the marauders whom does it." She stated.

"And what about me?" Diane asked. "There's no reason you can't use me."

"Diane." James whispered. "You are the most important one of us, as a Slytherin." He told as he gently took her hand. "Trust me, I would never leave you out of the fun." He stated in a small smirk which Diane returned.

"And now as that is out of the way." Lily looked seriously at them. "Come on." And together they all stepped into the great hall.. except for the marauders and the few selected Slytherins now one could possible know where there was suddenly black banners every-where.

Lily looked around with a stern frown on her face and then her eyes landed at the teachers table where McGonagall stood with a straight back looking towards all of the students.

It took a while as McGonagall waited for all to arrive before she finally spoke with a voice that could be heard through the entire hall.

"Students of Hogwarts." McGonagall said sternly and at ones there was quiet. "Only yesterday, at afternoon, a terrible tragedy stroke which will affect all of us and the wizarding world, I want you all the know now, as it will be all over the papers you get with the owls. Dumbledore, our renowed rector of our beloved school, was slayed by he whom must not be mentioned."

And there was dead quiet, you could hear a pin drop in the otherwise always so buzzling great hall, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter each cast a glance at Lily, as if to either apologies or assure they were with her, but Lily didn't notice, her eyes were just festooned on McGonagall as her hand clinched together.

Rest of what happened could might as well have been a blur as Lily was walked in a bobble, and all other sounds than the here and now sounds, she closed her eyes and tried to connect to Sev, he knew of things like this, he knew what to do.

Suggestions bobbled to the surface of her mind but she found herself not agreeing with many of them. Then she opened her eyes and looked at the table a new, she looked at the great hall, at the students.

"All right then." Lily nodded. "So it begins."


	57. return of the spinner

It was kind of funny, even thought the world around Regulus was madder, more dangerous and more depressing than ever.

He found himself able to cope a lot better than ever.. the punches thrown against him he could now block, the things happening he could observe and cope with.

At first he was confused, even afraid some-thing was wrong with him.. why didn't he feel so horrible about all those things any-more?

Yes he felt sad.. but some-how he was able to step aside and analyze now, unlike he had before.

And finally he had figured, the most horrible thing at all, the thing that had made him so angry, depressed, short tempered and sulky was the war within himself.

The feeling of not knowing what was right or wrong any-more, the feeling he couldn't do right or wasn't worth any-thing.

The feeling of the ground beneath his feeds having been shaken up and taken away to drop him in a free fall. Most of all he had been mad at himself, mad at himself for not measuring up, for not being strong enough. The feeling.. of not even liking himself when he looked at what he was.

But now he had finally found his own worth, he could look back at himself the last month and see a person worthwhile, he had found a new right and wrong, some-thing he believed in.

Instead of following what his family wanted him to do, he had done what he himself felt right, and as a result, at last he was at peace.

Which were more than good, for being a peace was the only thing giving him the strength to go on and be with not one, not two.. but three miserable people.

That was right.. three.. one orange haired quarter troll.. one raven haired young man.. and a little girl even weirder than the orange haired one. Regulus had been so willing to announce Lieve the oddest person he would ever know. But this little girl..

Regulus wished he knew what to say or do to the little werewolf, but he didn't know how to appreoach her or any subject around her.. she unnerved him.

The little werewolf scared the heck out of Regulus, it was not so much the fact that she was a werewolf more of just how she just appeared in general.

In spite of her being eight years old, she behaved like an old man, her eyes looking harsh and deadly serious. No childish optimism were to be found in those yellow eyes.

Technically she was very well behaved, always did what-ever Severus told her to do, always answered any questions. Was mostly quiet and never messed any-thing up, keeping as much to herself as she could.

That honestly was the scary part, Regulus couldn't help but wish the little one would go on a childish rampage exploring the area.. but she didn't.

At the night of the full-moon, she had been allowed to run free outside as he, Lieve and Regulus had barricaded themselves far away.

In the morning Severus had personally gone out to find the little girl, to bring her back in a poor and exhausted state, and then nursed the girl back to health personally not allowed Regulus near her.

Which suited Regulus fine he still didn't know how to even address Evelyn, he wish he had a way, any kind of way. But could come up with none.

Lieve was of no help at all, had she been better Regulus was sure she was better suited to talk to the little werewolf but as it was now

She barely spoke, barely did any-thing. But just laid sprawled out on the couch in the living room, the same place she slept, refusing to enter her old room or the bed room Regulus assumed was her parents old bed-room.

There were even a guest room, but neither did she want to go in there, she just stayed in the living room barely moving holding their back-pack which contained the cup of Helga Hufflepuff.. a nagging feeling told Regulus he should have told Severus that they had It a long time ago, but each time another vicious part of him didn't want to tell the grumpy senior student whom apparently thought he was so much better than him and Lieve.. Lieve whom would always clutch that backpack with the cup, it was the only thing she did.

It was like she had given up.. on every-thing.. she had broken.

It made Regulus sad, she had been fighting so hard, tried to go on in spite of every-thing.. but some-thing had happened at the ministry. Some-thing which was the last straw for her, and it certainly didn't help now being at this empty dusty miserable place.

Severus would come and go at a complete random, and when he was there, he was beyond unapproachable, at best Regulus would get a big scoff.

Time went by.. god knew how long they had been cooked up in there, in the haunted house. It had been cold and frosty in the evening their last days out in the open, so it was no surprise it had now started to snow, and the outside.. compleately covered in a big white blanket.

Regulus stood inside looking at all the glistening whitness, thinking to himself a girl by Evelyn age should be happily out building snow-men in there, and sighed deeply by the admission that every-thing inside of this house was a direct result of the war.. direct result of voldemort. "Exspecto Patronus." Regulus barely whispered and a little silver bird flew out of his wand, at least his little Penelope was always ready to give him cheerful company.

Then his eyes turned back, to the couch where Lieve sat with a blanket draped over her shoulders as always, barely moving.. her face, and Evelyn as silent as the other, sitting on the floor doing nothing.

That was when Regulus got the idea. He let the little bird fly over the girls, and where they could see it, there was no hiding that Evelyn looked at the bird, a little wondering, then he made the bluebird make a summersault in the air, then two summersaults, before doing a dive as was it was circus act.

It worked, Evelyns lip was twisting and she reached out, as if she tried to touch the bird, and Regulus allowed the bird to land on her hand. That was when Evelyns head turned towards Regulus and their eyes met.. and she didn't blame him. That was the moment they became on a basis of okay towards each other.

Regulus was better at ease with the little one and send her strained smiles as much as she send them to Lieve.

Some-times his smiles were answered, some times not.

One of the days they weren't answered and Lieve just sat there looking out in the air with her dead eyes did Regulus sit in front of her, looking up.

Lieve had never ever been fat, but even so she had lost weight and now looked sickenly un-healthy, her all ready pall skin even paler, her thick rich hair looking poore than before. "Lieve." Regulus addressed her directly as he drew a strain of hair behind her ear to exspose to pointy ear. "Happy birthday."

Lieve blinked confused, then looked at Regulus. "How did ye know tha?" she asked in a puzzled voice, which made Regulus chuckle a bit, it reminded of him of her wondering tone back when Remus had asked her name.. again it was like she had just received a question that baffled her.

"The calender in the kitchen." Regulus told. "It kept shouting at me it was Lieves birthday." He told slightly amused. "And finally I figured out.. it's all ready December. December the sixteen."

Lieve nodded slowly.

"I'm afraid I weren't able to buy any presents, and I don't know how to bake a cake. Would probably blow up the kitchen before I am done." Regulus stated in a slow tone. "But I want to wish you a happy birth-day any-way."

"Thank you." Lieve whispered, and then she turned away breaking their brief contact.

"Lieve." Regulus sighed. "Please don't do that again, talk to me! Say some-thing, any-thing."

Lieve looked down on her hands, then spoke slowly. "How do you think they are doing at the castle?" she asked.

"Fine Lieve, they are doing fine." Regulus assured.

"They could die." Lieve made aware. "We could die."

"Yeah." Regulus nodded in a sigh. "Yeah.. They could, we could."

Ones again they were left in silence.. complete and utter silence

Untill suddenly, out of seemingly now-where a small but light hand touched Regulus's shoulder, Regulus looked beside him and was faced with Evelyns yellow eyes as she looked at him, her mouth slowly opening and finally she asked her question. "What happens when you die?" she asked

"I.. don't know." Regulus had to respond honestly. "No one does."

"What do you think happens?" Evelyn asked. "It doesn't all stop does it? I don't want it to just stop." the admission was so honest and so like a childs Regulus felt himself warming up.

"I never thought about it." he honestly told.

"What do you think?" Evelyn asked Lieve directly.

For a moment or two the Irish was silent, and Regulus was starting to wondering if she had even heard, before she at last answered in a silent tone. "I don't want to think about it."

Regulus sighed as he shook his head and sat down beside Lieve on the couch, reached out a hand and invited Evelyn up with them. "Then don't." he muttered. "Think of some-thing else.. tell me another story, you are really good at telling me all those funny stories."

"I can't think of any right now." Lieve closed her eyes.

"Fenrir always said stories are stupid.. especially ones made up." Evelyn muttered quietly.

"I honestly don't care, I could really go with a story from either of you." Regulus mumbled.

"Severus.." Evelyn called as food steps from outside suggested that the older teen was in a nearby room. "What do you think happens when you die?"

Regulus honestly didn't think that Severus would ever reply, they rarely saw Severus at all, and when they did it was very shortly, so it honestly surprised him as the raven haired young man stepped into the living room holding a cup of what was assumable tea, probably to keep him awake while he did what-ever work he was doing. "There's not much I know, not much any-one know. The dark lord himself fears death so much exactly because he just don't know and he can't control it, he is willing to do any-thing to avoid death." he told in a slow voice. "And that's what makes him so shallow and weak, he is nothing but coward fearing what he can't explain or control. So when he can't, how can any of us?" he asked in a solemn voice that yet reached all of them, demanded them to be quiet and them to listen. "How-ever, I do know for a fact that dying isn't bad.. it isn't bad at all, there is another place and ones your there you wont even want to go back, the world is harsh and cruel in comparison."

"How would you know for fact?" Regulus asked with a lifted eyebrow. "You would have to have died to have known."

He is said it so silently, so calmly and yet Severus small acknowledgment just cut through the room. "Yes." Was the only word he said.

Regulus was stunned quiet.. he didn't know what to say about that, didn't know the meaning behind it, and Severus didn't look like he was going to explain any-thing what so ever.

"Ones upon a time.." Evelyn mumbled in a quiet voice. "There was a warrior, a great warrior. Acclaimed for his bravery, honoured by magic itself to become the protector of the world, people called it a great honour, a great privilege.

How-ever, as the warrior found out, it was no privilege at all, always knowing it wouldn't stop, there would always be a new fight, when he won a war for one group of people, it was his duty to wander towards the next one, if the time was peaceful it was his duty to travel to another time where he was ones again needed. People called to him as a messiah and took comfort in the knowledge he would be there to fight for what is right.

But the warrior himself, he became to tired, he looked up in the sky and exclaimed. Let me rest! Please! Don't you see, by granting me immortality, by granting me the same experience over and over again what you call such a great gift, you also robbed me of my true price, any humans price, why must you robe of that one thing you otherwise will grant to every-one in equal measure? The only thing humanity truly are granted in equal measure, why must I be the only one not getting what is rightfully mine? Please give me what I earned long ago, give me my rest and my peace eternal."

Regulus waited for the rest.. but no more came. It was the end of the story. "That.." he hesitated. "Was a sad story, never heard that one before."

"Made it up." Evelyn shrugged. "Not hat much else to do around here." she stated before crawling down the sofa and sit by her usual place looking into the fireplace.

"You really think that.. that Severus is suicidal?" Regulus whispered silently to Lieve.

"He is to smart to just jump out of a building if tha' is wha ye mean." Lieve mumbled.

"Of cause he is but.. he might be willing to throw himself at certain death if he believes it will some-how re-deem him." Regulus whispered. "I would be willing to do the same before.. you know.. that's why we are here right now. It's probably also why.." Regulus's eyes fell on the door Severus had dissapeared through. "God it makes so much sense now." he sighed covering his face with his hands. "The man is suicidal, that so explain every-thing he is doing… And we were being suicidal.. this is such a mess."

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned his head to look into Lieves eyes, her hand tight on his shoulder. "You stay safe." her voice was so serious at that moment her eyes equally so, as if they bore themselves into Regulus's. "Please." she asked. "Promise me to keep yourself safe, what-ever you do."

Regulus was stunned, the earnest force in her voice, her eyes for ones so sharp and serious boring themselves into his, never had this girl been any-more serious as she pleaded with him, pleaded him to take care of himself and not do some-thing stupid. "If you promise to do the same." Regulus at last hoarsely replied.

* * *

"My god look at this." Lily hissed as she sat by the breakfast table spreading out the news-paper. "This is propaganda, there are no other words for it, it's just propaganda." She stated dropping the paper on the floor.

"Lily, this is reality of things. It just hasn't caught up entirely yet." James tried to explain. "Voldemort took down the ministry, he owns the ministry, thus the wizarding world, thus the daily prophet and even this school." He whispered.

"This is really turning so serious so fast." Sirius muttered.

"Then we better stay clothes to each-other." Remus stated deeply serious. "What-ever comes next right?" he asked.

"Like that?" Peter asked as he pointed up towards the teachers table with a shaking finger. All heads turned towards it and suddenly a big gruffy looking man had appeared there, with short dark hair and squinting eyes.. and they all knew whom it was.

"Oh god is that?" Lily asked.

"It looks like Yaxley yes." Sirius bit his lip. "That bloody murderous." He breathed beneath his breath.

"What would Lieve say.." Remus asked as he himself had turned pale as a sheet.

"You don't need to think of that." James told. "Right now she isn't here, keep focused on the problems at hand." He told a bit sternly as several people had started to see the new presence and then started to quiet down.

"Please, a moments silent." Suddenly Yaxleys voice rang through the entire hall-way. "Doing the last twenty-four our, the ministry of magic has gone through a few… changes.." he told so the entire hall-way could hear. "And we feel it's about time to change things up here at Hogwarts to, graciously we have allowed to let Minerva McConagall stay as the head-master, as long as she can follow our new rules, how-ever, we had a couple of staff changes. I will be taking over professors Dawlishs' position as professor in the dark arts.

"Doesn't he mean defence against the dark arts?" Lily frowned.

"No, I am pretty sure he means the dark arts." Remus sighed deeply.

"From time to time guest tutors has graciously offered to come by and give you special lessons… very special lessons." Yaxley almost grinned. "Professor Spinner for instance will shortly be back to assist me in my own classes, but please, just go on with what you do, these changes will only be very minor I assure you, you will hardly feel the difference." He told and finally sat down to calmly eat his food.

At ones murmer started going on among all of the students Lily hissed at the boys. "He's lying, they are trying to keep us in and bend us with terror, that's why they haven't removed the dementors! But I say let them not get the satisfaction, we wont give in that easily! We'll make a stand!"

"We are with you." James stated at ones and the others nodded. "But we need to be smart about this, we need to not be caught, to do this hidden and cleverly. That is what Severus would want right Lily?"

Lily nodded. "It is what Severus would want, to keep it smart." But her tone sounded hesitate and it was like she had left some-thing out of that thought.

It didn't take long for that statement to be put to the test though, all-ready at the afternoon they had to go to their first special turtoring.. where Professor Spinner made his grant re-appearance, thin, scrawny, sharp toothed and every-thing.

"Mudblood." He lectured. "A very fitting word for muggles, the lowest form of life in our wonderful world, whom stole their magic and now claim to be witches and wizards, a much higher form of life than they can ever hope to become."

All-ready then Lily's head had turned red in anger, her fist clinged in a tight grip, it was only to obvious she was ready to jump up and shout out about the injustice of that lecture.

"Lily no!" Remus tried to plead with her getting her down. "If you say some-thing you'll just get in unnecessary trouble! All over again, I know that's what you do, but you can't afford it any longer! We'll need you not being harmed."

"I am aware of that." Lily hissed through clinched teethes. "But by god this is hard." She told looking down on the table where both her clinched fists laid on top.

"Some-thing you want to say Mrs. Evans?" Professor Spinner asked as he had heard of the commotion.

Lily looked up and was just about to spit it all, but then suddenly felt a couple of eyes right on her, out of the corner of her eye she saw them.. tons and tons of pleading eyes, pleading her not to get into trouble so soon and not become the example Spinner would probably make sooner or later. But then Lily could feel it in her heart, she had to be herself.. she could not life in the shadow of peoples expectations any-more, she had to do what her heart told her to do.. she was a person living in the now, and she had to follow that, even if it meant... "With all due respect sir." She smirked slightly. "I have a hard time remembering exactly how I stole my magic." She sighed in a role of her eye as she drew her wand. "Suddenly one day, a very special person to me just flat out told me, you are a witch. I was angry at first because I thought it wasn't a very nice thing to say. But some-how, my friend was right, I really was. Never asked for it, but neither am I complaining." She drew her wand, her own ebony wand. "And then my wand chose me. I didn't steal any magic. I was gifted with it!" she stated in a hard tone as several people groaned, James squinted his eyes, Remus shook his head. And Spinner, Spinner squinted his eyes at Lily.

"So you are denying, little miss Mudblood?" he asked.

Lily snorted as she stood up. "Well duh, of cause I am, you can't steal magic, it doesn't work that way. So what are you going to do?" she asked in a challenging voice.

"Detention." Spinner stated. "Meet up at my office, at five this evening."

"My pleasure." Lily stated right back as she sat down and noticed so many people looking down in defeat, but she didn't feel it at all, she felt on fire.

* * *

In the evening, she meet up at the office as she was supposed to, and forcefully she opened the door.

Inside, Spinner was all-ready waiting for her sitting with crossed arms and crossed legs.. they were back all-right. "Miss Evans." He greeted her in a almost pleasant voice, his mouth spreading in a grin so you could probably see his teethes. "Please have a seat." He asked of her.

Lily send that smile right back with a grim one of her own as she sat down on the chair with crossed arms. "Sir." She greeted.

Slowly Spinner opened the table drawer and from it he was putting some few instruments, none of which Lily knew the name of, before at last he put down his wand beside the different things. "Now Miss Evans." He stated as he folded his hands. "It's about time you learned some manners isn't it?" he asked in a pleasant voice. "Time to learn some manners, you need to learn how to share what you know and admit the truth." He told.

Lily looked up at him with a lifted eye-brow.

"Oh don't worry, with your temper I am sure we'll have plenty of sessions and plenty of time." Spinner told. "These are all tools that can help us." He told gesturing at the items in front of him. "And in worst case scenario, there is always a neat curse my lord has now made sure is allowed for all to use." He told lovingly picking up his wand. "You might have heard of it, cruciatos." He told in a grin as he brushed a finger over his wand.

"So basically you are going to torture me now?" Lily asked with a lifted eye-brow.

"Unless I don't have to." Spinner told laying down the wand. "What you need to do is very simple, first you'll have to admit you stole the magic you naughty child." He told in a serious tone. "Then, you tell me what you know of Severus Snape and Regulus Black, where they are, what they are doing, basically, all what you know."

Lily looked up at him with wide eyes, and then suddenly, she smiled, genuinely smiled. "Oh that again, haven't found him at all have you? I can't even say I'm that surprised." She chuckled to herself.

"Just laugh all that you want." Spinner smiled. "For believe me, you will tell me what you know, maybe not today, but in due time."

And that only made Lily burst out laughing even harder. "I wont tell you a thing!" she told as she laughed. "And I tell you why right now! I can't and I wont, because I genuinely _don't know!" _she burst out laughing. "I really don't know where they are! So you can torture my all that you like, you can cruciato me to dawn and you wouldn't be the wiser!" she laughed. "Jokes on you!" she stated in a big laugh.

"Really?" Spinner asked in a grim voice. "Well we shall see."

* * *

"I don't like this." James sighed as he sat up in the Gryffindor common room. "How late is it."

Sirius rolled his eyes as he looked at the watch. "Twelve thirty two and the last time you asked it was twelve thirty one!" he stated.

"I don't like this either." Remus whispered. "It's far to late."

"But what can he do?" Peter asked. "He's a teacher right. She's probably just polishing trophes, as we are always put up to do." He stated hopefully.

Remus shook his head. "I don't think we shall count on getting that lucky." Suddenly the portrait hole opened and all four boys tensed as they turned their head, and in stepped.

"Lily?" James asked.

She looked a mess, it looked like she could barely walk as she stumbled inside, her back hunched as if it hurt for her to straighten up, her hair was messy, she had clearly been sweating, and blood was dripping from the left of her lip, but Lily just wiped that blood away as she smiled triumphantly at the boys whom starred horriefied back at her, she looked like an complete maniac at that moment.

"Lily.." James hesitated. "Are you all-right..."

"Never better!" Lily told in that same grin of hers as she plummeted down beside them in a soft arm chair.

All-ready Remus had his wand out as he looked concerned at her. "Please, tell me where it hurts." He asked.

"Oh, it's not to bad, just my back, shoulders, tounge. I also have a massive head-ache coming on, but that's been building up for a while." Lily grinned before spitting, which turned out to be pure blood she was spitting out.

"for merlins sake Lily." Remus whispered as he measured her. "Why would you do such a thing? When will you ever learn?" he asked sounding deeply concerned.

"Lily, for Merlins sake." James shook his head. "What would Severus say? This is not what Severus would want at all!"

In response Lilys head turned in a jolt and she starred at James with green eyes shining with energy, she stretched out a hand and pushed Remus's wand away. "Severus is not here." She informed them as if it was new information. "We can't rely on him. Because he is busy with his own mission." She stated with crossed arms as her eyes seemed to light up in flames as she sourly looked at each of them. "You all seem to be forgetting some-thing." Lily stated in a low strong voice. "You, you, you and you." She pointed at each of them in turn. "Sev, the phoenix fighters, all of you people. Please get this." She hissed as she stood up with clinched fits. "I am _not _Sev!" she stated. "I never was Severus Snape and I am never going to become Severus Snape, get it into your thick skulls." She stated with crossed arms.

Stunned the four boys looked wide-eyed up.

"Right now, I don't care what he would want or not want, he is not here, he _left!" _Lily stated. "So I am going to do what I know is right." She stated turning around towards the stairs to her dorm.

"But Lily." James called out to her. "Remember what happened last time, you can't just."

At last Lily silenced with her back to them and then she sighed. "I know what happened last time." She whispered. "And believe me, there doesn't go a day by I don't feel stupid, I was just so frustrated and desperate being cooked up here that I acted on my desperation and frustration.. and the three of us almost paid the price." She looked back at James and Sirius. "Going out to the werewolves is the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life, and I am _not_ going to act that carelessly again." She assured. "But neither am I going to sit back doing nothing when there are things to do." She stated. "Others may give in and play by the death-eaters rules to convince them, play it safe, but I wont." She stated. "Never will you see me giving into what they say, why should I? some-body needs to stand the ground, are we all just going to bow our heads and say it's okay, then every-body has to say it. Not me, I say it again, I am _not _Severus Snape, I am Lily Evans, and I have to do what _I_ believe is right." She stated turning back towards the stairs to her dorm. "Good night boys." She stated waving a hand over her shoulder as walked up the stairs.

The four boys was left to starred at each other.

Then suddenly a smile tugged in James's lip. "I kind of like her attitude." He told.

Sirius grinned right back at him. "It's refreshing with all this adult thinking around the place."

"Urgh, this is going to be some very hard days isn't it?" Remus asked rubbing his face. "What happened to stay out of trouble?"

"Lily just kicked it out of the window." James remarked.


	58. a plan foiled

At Hogwarts, while December was moving forward and Christmas nearing.. The Marauders had been busy, so very busy. It seemed like they tried to have as much done as possible before the inevitable Christmas vacation where a good number of people would be going home.

And indeed she had, all-ready the morning after drawings had appeared on the walls spelling. "Down with voldemort." "We like muggles." "Equal for all." And its likes.. it was quite officially.. war!

And on the top of it all, the Marauders were organising with glee.

Detentions the Marauders get plenty off, often without any real reason. Yaxley and Spinner weren't exactly idiots, they knew whom was behind the mess, but they didn't exactly have proof, the original Marauders could pride themselves of having many years training in how not to be seen, even without any invisibility cloak.

Lily more than any-one else get so many detentions and the same questions.

"Where _are _they?" Spinner asked in frustration.

Lily spat blood back at her desk as she grinned triumphantly at him. "As I told you so many times before, I really don't know." She laughed.

"Well then." Spinner sneered stepping towards the window looking out of the snow. "Severus Snape, he is the big concern.. You and I both know he is out there. Black and O'Hara are probably dead by now."

Lily silenced stunned. "Why would they be that?" she asked.

"Well if you haven't heard from them as you claimed." Spinner probed her. "Two inexperienced young people, out alone and in that cold to, tsk tsk." Spinner shook his head. "Sticking their noses where it doesn't belong." He told. "What are the chances really, that they are alive?" he asked as he turned around. "For every day that goes they are out there, the more likely it is that they perished. Why don't you think about that?" he asked.

Lily looked up at him, then swallowed.. his words this time had worked, the fire in her chest had subdued as she looked down and bit her lip.

"It's late all-ready. Dismissed" Spinner at last shrugged.

Lily nodded and stood up to walk out the door, and then frowned as she was on the other side.. today hadn't been nearly as bad nor long as usually, with a frown she glanced at her watch and realised.. she would be in good time, she had thought she would be late, my fate seemed to be in her favour that evening.

Lily entered the common room with straight back where the Marauders were all-ready waiting for her.

"Wow that was early." James commented wondering.

"You need any-thing?" Remus asked at ones having his wand ready.

"Not really." Lily replied. "I'm just a little bit sore, so it's not worry."

Remus nodded and packed his wand away as he returned to his own things all though he didn't look all that pleased with Lilys refusal.

"Ready?" James asked.

Slowly they starting grapping their things, making sure that the common room indeed were empty in the middle of the dead night, Lily counted around, one, two, three, four… wait.. four? "Where's Peter?" Lily suddenly asked. "He decided to sit out? But he's been so helpful lately."

"You know.." James frowned. "I have no idea, I thought he would be here."

"He probably just forgot.. " Remus stated wisely making even himself frown as he realised how unlikely that was. "Maybe he was taking a nap and didn't wake up in time, we are all pretty exhausted these days."

That piece of information was way more easily bought and the other Marauders nodded. "Just let him rest, he deserves it." James then at last stated.

Slowly they snook out of the common room, unfortunately James's invisibility cloak had some-how vanished. And James had a nagging suspicion where it had gone missing to.. it was to big a coincidence that it had vanished the same day as Regulus and Lieve, but deep inside.. James was glad the two had at last that, then there was a bigger chance they were alive, they could at least hide when the danger became to big.

It how-ever meant that he and his friends had to be extra careful.

Lily more than the others sneaked in front, and looked around the corner before her smile brightened up. "Diane!" she exclaimed and on the other side that sounded great cheers as several young Slytherin greeted the Marauders, and along side them, a few rawenclaws and a few hufflepuffs.. the school were indeed starting to collect itself beneath one banner.

Buckets and wands was collected, and they were ready to commit lots of vandalism all around the school. "Come on." Lily waved with her arm.

Slowly they descended the stairs to the astronomy tower, their planned target, it had become a thing, to paint that tower in different ways, each time it was wiped clean they would find a new way to vandalised it in the war against Voldemorts rein on the school, and on the same time, pay a bit of tribute to their missing friends whom did the first drawing there, it had almost become tradition now to follow up on it ones in a while, all they needed to do was to make sure they wouldn't be caught.

This was going to be it! Their greatest master piece, all of these students combined. Gryffindors, Slytherins, Rawenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Lily grinned at a nervous looking Hufflepuff girl with fluffy hair, and nervously the hufflepuff smiled back.

She felt so filled with purpose and power as she went up there, it all felt s great as they got out their brooms.

"Right." Lily exclaimed. "Lets get to it."

"Well.." suddenly a whisper sounded from the darkness, shocked Lily and every-body else turned around.

"Well, well, well…" out from the Shadows, stepped five different figures. It was Yaxley, it was Spinner, two other death others and it was little Crouch jr.

They had been waiting for them.. and it seemed for a while.

"I see." Yaxley shook his head as he stepped forward. "Up to no good I see." He grinned.

Lily swallowed by the sight of him.

Spinners mouth widened in a grin as he showcased his razor teethes. "Gotcha."

"It's all-right." Lily tried to hush the others lifting up a hand to quiet them down.

"So." Yaxley breathed towards Crouch. "Thanks for the help, what should we do with them?" he asked.

Spinner shrugged. "I only see on thing really."

"How quint." Yaxley raised his wand. "Detention for every-body it is."

Lily swallowed as she squinted together her eyes, preparing for what was coming.

"I say lets start with miss Evans, she seems to love her detentions so very much." Spinner pointed out.

Lily opened her eyes and looked at them with mirth on her lips. "Do your best." She challenged.

Crouch frowned. "Sir." The young student nodded at them.

"Yes my dear boy." Yaxley nodded at the young one.

"Why not let Evans go?" he asked to the four death-eaters surprise. "Why not just let her go free from the pain this ones, let her step over here with all of us, and they can get the detention." He looked at the others. "Right here, right now."

Then it seemed like Spinner, Yaxley and the two goons figured what Crouch meant and they almost snickered in delight.

"Evans." Yaxley demanded. "Step over here."

Lily blinked. "What?" she asked. "But I.."

"Over here." Yaxley demanded. "_Now!_"

"Do as he says." James whispered to Lily. "We manage I promise."

"I don't want to!" Lily stated.

"Lily." Remus now whispered in a hoarse voice. "We manage."

Only to unwillingly did Lily do as the teachers demanded of her, slowly she stepped up towards them, and as she reached the teachers did Spinner grasp her shoulder and forcefully turned around. "Look at them, you got what you wanted." He whispered. "They are all following you, they all followed you here. Trusted enough to follow you here."

And Lily did look at them.. Gryffindors, Rawenclaws, Hufflepuffs… and the Slytherins.

"And those are the slytherins whom are treatourus towards their own inheritance?" Spinner asked in a slight whisper. "why thank you miss Evans."

Now that Lily did look at them she couldn't stop, they were thirty-one, she knew that, she had counted them a while ago.. minus herself and Peter where-ever he was, that counted twenty-nine in front of her, all ages and houses.. all had followed her.

They just stood there now, in the bitter cold night air of December, looking at her.. some of them were scared, some of them tried to put up a brave face, most of them looked at her with confidence that she knew what she was doing.

Lily was still confused, part of her mind knew what was going to happen, but rest of her was in denial, even as Yaxley slowly raised his wand, and slowly whispered.

"Crucio."

A light flew out of his wand and hit the first student, thirteen year old Katherine from Slytherin whom bowed over and screamed in agony.

"Stop it!" Lily exclaimed. "You are hurting her, stop it!" she exclaimed and physically lunged for Yaxley successfully knocking the wand away from Yaxley. Only to herself being pulled away as Spinner had grabbed her hair and pulled her away.

"Finally." He sighed relieved. "After all this time, she never budged, but now." Spinner pointed his wand at Remus and whispered Crucio only for the young werewolf to bend over in accrociating pain. He didn't scream, he was accostumed to pain, but tears still escaped his eyes.

"Stop it!" Lily begged. "Please dear god stop it!" but as she begged Sirius was the one to be hit, and three other students. "I do what-ever you want, please just stop it!" she cried.

"Lily Evans." Spinner almost span as was it sweet music in his ears. "She can take all the beats it'll take, as long as it's on herself.. she would step in front of an Avada Kedavra I have no doubt, to take it for some-one else, but not this time little Miss Evans. This time they will have to pay for your crimes." He crackled as James was finally hit, and then all of them. Young and old, screaming in pain.

"STOP! Please just stop!" Lily cried tears streaming down her eyes as she heard the screams, she turned around and grabbed Spinners robe. "I do any-thing! Just don't hurt them!"

"Look miss Evans, it's what you wanted and fought for isn't it?" he asked. "What's the matter, you didn't think people would get hurt if they followed you?" he asked.

"Just stop." Lily begged of them. "Tell me what you want, and stop this!"

"Tell me where Severus Snape is!" Spinner demanded of Lily.

"I told you I don't know!" Lily exclaimed. "I don't know where Regulus Black is either!"

"And what if you did know?" Yaxley asked stepping closer to Lily. "Would you be willing to tell?" he asked.

Lily could still hear the scream behind her, does were worse, worse than any hurt she herself could be under. "I don't know." She then admitted. "I am just thankful that I don't even have to find out." She told. "I would never want to betray any of them." She stated with gritted teethes.

"To bad then." Yaxley stated. "Our detention continues."

"NO!" Lily screamed but ones again some-one grabbed her hair, and now her arms were wrestled down by one of the goons, she struggled all that she could, struggled and struggled while all the students were forced to their knee. "SOME-BODY PLEASE!" she yelled.

"What is going on here!" at ones the spells stopped and the death-eaters turned around, to be faced with a woman in her advanced years, wearing a tweed bath-robe over her white night-gown, her hair normally in a bundle now released and falling down her shoulders and her eyes behind half-moon glasses looking shocked at the picture. Until they turned into furry anger. "How dare you?" she asked the death-eaters in a voice filled with furry. "What do you think you are doing?" McGonagall asked with crossed arms.

Spinner offered her a pleasant smile. "These students were caught out of bed on their way to create vandalism." He told sweetly.

Yaxley smiled as well. "We just wanted to spare the time and give them detention right away."

McGonagalls lips were nothing but a thin line.

"Professor." Lily cried as she looked at her. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean."

"Enough Evans." McGonagall silenced her. "And you to." She told the others. "Let them go."

Yaxley sneered as he stepped towards McGonagall and on his way past her managed to whisper. "Careful Minerva, it's very gracious of the dark lord to keep you around here, it would take a snap of the finger to have you removed, remember that."

McGonagall bit together but didn't answer as they passed by her.

"Good show." Crouch whispered to Lily. "Just wait for the real deal at New years eve." He whispered gleefully.

"What happens at new years ever?" Lily asked.

"Why, wouldn't you like to know?" Crouch asked and passed right by.

As they were gone Lily didn't hesitate, she ran towards the students groaning in the aftershocks of the cruciatos. "I'm so sorry!" Lily exclaimed trying to get to all of them at ones, and thus consequently failed. "I'm so so sorry! I didn't mean, we only made harmless pranks! I couldn't have imagined.."

"It's all-right Lily." James grunted as he thought himself up on his knees. "There's not one of us whom didn't chose to be here, we knew what we were getting into." He assured. "It means nothing." He told. "With or without you, it was bound to happen."

"No James." Lily whispered. "He did this to punish me, I shouldn't have dragged so many people into this in the first place." She shook her head.

"No, you need people to fight with." James told. "Remember?" he asked. "We need that."

"Yes, we cannot win this alone." Lily acknowledge. "But there are certain things I will have to do on my own when the time comes." She whispered sadly. "Deep down I have to admit I have known this for a while, can I just ask you some-thing?" she asked.

"What?" James asked.

"Please don't stop me." Lily then whispered. "Don't follow me and don't stop me when I ask you to."

James tried to say some-thing, that much was obvious, but the big strain of having gotten up so quick had taken to much energy from him, and he collapsed down on the ground, for a moment having lost conscious.

* * *

Lily herself cried in bed.. She kept hearing the screams of pain, and she realised whom-ever followed her, could potentially end up like that.. they would be hurt on her watch, she had a hard time living with that.. it made her far less suited to ever be a leader, at last sheer exhaustion took her, but it was a troubled sleep, in her sleep she heard a voice, a smooth teasing voice, that rung in her head.

"You fight so hard." The voice belonging to the reptilian like man whispered. "Or do you? You let people fight for you, you use them as shields.. who is going to go next? Because of you?"

"Now you know how I feel."

Lily opened her eyes wide opened and was faced with her beloved little nine year old Sev, standing on the grassy field by the stream.

"you might have nothing against being hurt for me, but I don't want you to be hurt because of me." Little Sev stated. "I'm so sorry." He at last whispered.

Lily felt down on her knees and drew the boy into a tight hug. "It's all-right." She whispered holding him tight. "I get there are certain things you have to do alone, without me being such a big distraction." She told rocking him back and ford. "I just miss you _so much_! And I don't want to see you be hurt. I know I am selfish, but if you got hurt how then can I spend the rest of my life with you?" she asked holding little Sev. "God I really start to hate this stupid war! I am damn tired of it!"

"Certain things you have to do alone." Sev whispered. "Not all of them." He told. "Please take good care of yourself.. please.."

"I promise you." Lily told. "I promise to do what I can, I just want this dumb war to end."


	59. What can happen at Christmas

Christmas at Hogwarts promised to be the worst Christmas ever.

All though it was beautiful Christmas white outside, the glittering carpet of snow only went to remind the marauders of how cold it would have to be for their comrades, to make matters worse it had been fullmoon the night between December th 24 and December th 25. So it was no surprise that Remus looked beyond pale and exhausted, in spite of the wolfbanes potion that had ensured he did not loose his mind.

Lily had elected to stay at Hogwarts as her family was still on the run, Remus had elected it for the wolfbanes potion, And so James, Sirius and Peter had elected it to keep Remus company at the full moon night as they always would.

They tried to seek each other out and enduce some Christmas spirit into each other, but the mere attempt were of cause fatal. As the castle was warm and decorated with pine, the voids beside them of the missing friends just seemed all that greater.

As of now Remus was just sleeping in a armchair, looking deadly pale and ill. Lily rested her chin in her hands looking out in the air from her arm chair, Sirius just sat on the floor starring into the fire, so it reflected in his gray eyes, Peter curled together in his sitting position, looking smaller than ever as he also looked out in the room without seeing and James laid on his back in one of the couches, mindlessly catching his snitch with his hand, just seeming like he needed to do something.. and there was so much silence.

"Worst.. Christmas… ever…" James commented as he caught and let go of the snitch with each word. He glanced at Peter as if he expected something specific, but Peter just starred into the fire. "Here catch the snitch Peter." James gestured and threw it in his direction.

Dully Peter observed it floating harmlessly in front of him, before simply reaching it out to plug it out of the air and threw it right back at James. "Can't you put the damn thing away." He asked. "Your giving me a head ache."

Sirius and James looked absolutely gobsmacked at Peter. "But.. " James hesitated. "You love the snitch." He reached it out. "Here, why don't you take it.. another Christmas present from me to you, I know you always liked it."

"I don't want the bloody snitch!" Peter said in a surprisingly loud voice. "Just, _take_ it _away_!" he demanded of James.

James blinked wide-eyed, but then finally just stuffed the snitch down in his pocket.

"Gee, this Christmas is almost as merry as home at my house." Sirius snorted. "It's actually even topping the time I got a toothpick as present and afterwards was locked in the cellar for good measure because I complained about it."

"That happened to you?" Lily blinked.

"Sure as hell did." Sirius nodded. "I spend Christmas night in the that cellar.. The same year I started Hogwarts and was sorted to Gryffindor, that was the last time I ever spend Christmas with dear mom and pop." He sighed. ".. And Reggy.. Reg got tons of presents, he was their little pride, somehow it seemed so important at the time." He snorted. "It just isn't is it? Why do stupid present matter so much in that age? I was just.. so angry, with all of them.. It's not even like it was gifts of deep affection, ever, mother doesn't really know love" he sighed even deeper. "I really should have known."

"No one blames you." Lily shook her head. "My sister and I don't do to well either." She confessed. "I mean I care for her, I honestly do.. But I never looked to much forward to see her either. .She really used to set a damper on my Christmas spirit every year."

James lifted an eyebrow. "Jesus, and I who always wanted a sibling, doesn't anyone have a good sibling relationship?"

Lily shrugged. "It probably didn't help that the only thing other than me who could show her what magic is about was Sev, and he scared the hell out of her from the moment they met."

James's eyebrows rose, as he looked very interested at her.

Lily shook her head. "It was silly really, he was just nine.. he just." She pondered how to say it without telling of his hard attitude due to his parents, or his shambled messy dirty look so he had looked like a street kid. "Well, yeah he scared her."

"Blimey." James blinked. "As a nine year old?"

Lily chuckled to herself. "I think he enjoyed to scare her, at a Christmas he had put a spider in a match box and wrapped it to put it on her table." She shook her head. "Hard to believe he would do something so childish isn't it? If I remember correctly." She pondered. "he did it as a revenge because she called Hogwarts stupid, you know it was from before we even went, so she was in a sort of denial, and calling Hogwarts or wizardy stupid was the worst possible insult to give him, for him it meant everything.. Now I remember!" Lily snapped her fingers. "He had send the present in a way so it looked like it came from this boy Petunia had a huge crush on, and so she thought it was some kind of jewellery, but really it was a spider and three dead flies. I thought I would go deaf from her scream!"

Sirius let out a laugher. "Not that different from what you could have come up with is it Prongs?" he asked.

"You're the one to talk." James snorted. "Wouldn't be a surprise if you did it now with an x."

"James don't give him good ideas." Lily scolded. And got a flashing white teethe grin in return. "Pete how about you?" James asked. "Please tell me you like your sister."

Peter stirred, clearly having been lost in thought and looked at James before he shrugged. "Patricia is fine I suppose." He mumbled. "Dunno really, she's so much older than me, havn't really seen her in the last two years."

"You gotta have something." Sirius told. "A story, anything."

"She used to tell me I would never make it to Hogwarts because I am definitely a squirb." Peter hesitated. "And when I got my letter she wanted prove of my magic so she unleashed three dogs on me to see what would happen.. cause she knows I hate dogs.. I am over it now though." He assured Sirius. "But at the time it was honestly scary."

"What happened?" James asked interested.

"I got a panic attack and suddenly I was up really high in a tree without knowing how, and Patricia had a fitt of laughter while the dogs kept on barging down there."

"Boy she seems like a boat of joy." Sirius drawled dryly.

"That's honestly the most I ever remember about her, that was all there was to our relationship." Peter shrugged again. "I don't hate her or anything, but I probably wont ever seek her out either, as I started Hogwarts she was all ready a sixth year you know."

Remus shifted in his position, demanding Lily's attention. "He is still a sleep?" she asked. "Is this normal after fullmoon?"

James nodded. "Yeah, takes a lot out of him. He should have been in bed, I guess he at least wanted to be of little company because it's Christmas and stuff."

Sirius chuckled. "Always trying to give what ever he can." He sighed. "what did we ever do to deserve such a good friend?"

"Must be a good dream he is having." Lily smiled softly.

James looked at her. "What makes you say that."

"He's smiling." Lily commented. "So he must be dreaming."

Amused James shook his head. "That's even a really good point. Merlin knows it takes a dream to genuinely smile at the moment." He sighed. "How ironic the sleeping dude is having a better Christmas than us."

Sirius shrugged. "I suppose we can give him that. I don't suppose any Christmas miracles are going to dance in through the door"

* * *

Regulus being stuck in ireland had no idea of knowing it was Christmas though, it was pretty damn far from his mind at all. He wasn't exactly the type to put to many emotions into such holidays any-way.

All though.. secretly he was he was wishing for a Christmas miracle, even if he didn't know it..

He wished for some-thing to happen, some-thing good.. just one time, please let some-thing that is good without any draw-backs happen.

Regulus was genuinely wishing for that with all of his might as he was laying on the borrowed bed, looking up in the ceiling.. he was wide-awake all though it was the middle of the night.

He should count himself lucky having a bed at all, the snow outside was thicker than ever, even though it was dark as hell outside, the snow was still white enough for him to skimt it out of the corner of his eye, out of the window.

It was like there was coming a strange light from out there, a white light.

Regulus sat up straight in his bed, it was far to bright to be natural! What was that, they were supposed to be at a secluded area, Regulus jumped out of bed and ran towards the window, he looked down and saw.. a girl with unnaturally bright hair walking in the snow, she was wearing nothing but her nighty and she was bathed in light, all though she had her back to Regulus as she slowly walked towards the forest, there was no mistaking that bright big hair or that pale skin. "LIEVE!" Regulus called out, but she didn't hear, she just kept walking forward.

Regulus didn't waste any-more time but turned around and ran down the stairs, he bursted through the living room and out the door as he called. "LIEVE!" while running towards the girl standing in the snow, wearing nothing but a night dress. Still she didn't react just kept on walking, Regulus ran for her and in a jump managed to grab her shoulder, only to some-how violently be thrown back as was she surrounded by a force-field not allowing him in, slowly Lieve turned around and Regulus's eyes widened.. she was holding the cup of Helga Hufflepuff, and from that thing did all the lights come from.

Then Regulus noticed, the light were not all that came from that cup, there was voices, soft soothing voices speaking. "come, come this way." They spoke. "Let me guide you.. come.."

And Lieve turned around, to follow that voice.

"NO!" Regulus shouted launching out by fell head first down in the snow as if some force had tripped him on purpose, he usually were elegant as cat due to all of his quidditch training, and what was even worse, as he tried to come up again, it was only to obvious some-one thing was at play! He was completely paralyzed!

"Come.. you wont have to be alone any-more.. all that pain.. all that pain, I can make it go away.." the soothing voice told the Irish. "I can give you what-ever you want. You want to be lean and pretty, done.."

Before Regulus's eyes Lieve changed shape, her hair became smooth and fell down her shoulders, her face and body smoothened and sharpened, her freggles vanished to leave a pale soothe surface, her legs got longer and leaner and it all happened so smoothly until she was a breath-taking beauty.. elegant and the kind of person where men would fall over each-other to open the door for her.

"People wont poke fun of you.. people wont keep you out, leaving you behind.." the soothing voice tempted. "people wont think you are weird.. you look and sound so they will admire you..they will _all _love you now when you can be like this."

Regulus closed his eyes trying to come up with a plan to stop it, he barely recognised the woman in front of him, he didn't like it at all.

How-ever it was Lieve herself whom halted. "No." she whispered and suddenly she was back to normal, which were a sight for sore eyes. "That doesn't matter to me." She told. "That was never important to me." She said as if she was first now just realising.

"Fine." The soothing voice replied. "Then what is? You can have it.." the voice called and suddenly in front of Lieve.. stood a young man, wearing a lean robe. He was perfect looking, with heigh cheek-bones, dark hair, shining dark eyes, and yet some-thing was off, some-thing made him repulsive.. and Regulus recognised him. It was a slightly younger version of Voldemort, whom reached out with his arms in a welcoming gesture. "You want your Gryfindor to love you?" he asked and Remus.. all though not quiet being Remus as he looked far to handsome, far to neat, his robes way to new and not nearly shabby enough. lacking all the cosiness which Regulus had come to like in that shabby persona… what more, the Gryffindor lacked his usual haunted look, the tired eyes, any shadow of strain was removed from the young seventeen year old boy.. it looked like a really good painting of Remus but completely romanticised and lacking any human emotion or realism, making the whole thing feel off.

"Not like that." Lieve responded in a frown as if she was slightly confused but didn't know why. "I don't want.."

"The rest then?" Voldemort asked to have the rest of the marauders appear around Remus. James, Sirius, Peter, Lily. "tired of being a commoner among the big heroes, you can be the hero." He suggested and Lieve changed appearance again, her dress became a rich magnificent robe in purple, prided with old runes, her wand grew longer and looked more powerful than any wand. "You don't need to stand in their shadow, they'll be standing in your shadow now." Voldemort promised. "They'll be the ones needing you."

"That's not what I want at all." Lieve frowned in a almost annoyed voice as the fine robes almost melted off her leaving her standing in her night dress.

"THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Voldemort yelled clearly having lost his temper. "Riches? Freedom? Fame? Power?"

"No." Lieve responded looking as confused as ever.

Voldemort at last seemed to have collected himself again, and his voice ones again smooth and hypnotic asked. "What do you want? Just tell me.. what do you want?" he asked in a soft almost whispering voice.

Lieve swallowed as she opened her mouth to silently answer. "I.. I don't want them to go away..." She at last said. "I don't want more people to go away.. they all end up going away. You think you are finally safe, and then they go away. This place, with war and people going away, I hate it!" she stated. "I'm sick of it!"

"But not here." Voldemort stated in a triumphing smile spreading out his arms. "Come to me, here there is peace, I promise you look! and people will never go away again, they will want you close, and they are all here. Your family, mom and dad, your friends, that glassed Penelope, she really wants to see you again. And your School friends, Regulus, Lily, Remus and all the others.. just waiting for you."

"But.. the war?" Lieve asked. "We are busy fighting the war."

"There is no war." Voldemort insisted. "You hate the war, so why care?" he asked. "Here, there is only peace.. I'll be your friend, you will never have to do any-thing alone, again. I'll promise, you'll never leave my side, as you go about your simple life as you wanted it, no big fancy names, no big fights.. You just wanted it simple and happy didn't you? I can make it so, just give me that cup, and it'll all be good again."

At that promise and Voldemorts opened arms Lieve brightened up. "Yes you'll want to be around me, you'll be a friend, loyal and steady.. peaceful." She stated in a happy voice as she started walking towards the man whom had his arms spread out open for her to enter. "No more war! No more."

Regulus was paralyzed as before in the snow, he couldn't even yell. "Lieve.. he is fooling you. Voldemort lies.. he."

"Wait!" Lieve stopped up in mid-motion. "I would have to die to see Penelope again, and I promised Regulus not to be hurt."

"Regulus is here, he says it's okay." Voldemort assured. "He is happy with his Penelope."

"No Regulus is back at." And Lieve blinked as she looked at Voldemort a new, her eyes suddenly not misty any-more, but clear and confused about her situation, as had she just woken from a dream, confused she looked at the cup in her hand and then at Voldemort. "Wha? Wha happened?" she asked looking around, then her eyes fell on Regulus and her eyes widened as had she just realised what had been happening. "Here." She whispered. "Regulus is right here, of cause he is. He is always there when you need him." And she returned to Voldemort retrieving the cup, holding it tight into her chest. "oh ye have to do better than that!" she spat. "Those people are my friends all ready, and I _will _see them again."

"How about Mom, dad and Penelope?" Voldemort asked smoothly. "You want to let them down?" Behind Voldemort a large group of people now stood, looking so welcoming even pleading at Lieve as if they begged her to step towards them, some of the them had the same orange coloured hair as Lieve, most of them were human but some of them had pointy ears, cow tales and a eathly look to them. One man stood out though, in front of all of them. He was tall and lean and he looked.. exactly like Lieve. His hair and beard the exact same colour as her hair, his eyes the exact same colour, the exact same shape, his ears were a little more pointy than hers but not much and his smile, exactly like hers, he spread his arms towards her and even Regulus could feel the temptation of just running over there to embrace the warm father figure. And all of the others stretching out hands in greetings, aunts and uncles, grandparents, all those hunted down because of supposed troll blood in the family, and more.. all seizes and shapes, so many.. Regulus knew none of them, but clearly Lieve did as she wide-eyed looked all of them, gasped as a her eyes became wet. Well, there was one Regulus recognised.. Penelope, with her long dark hair and her glasses.. and Regulus to for a moment got lost in the last one, for a single moment willing to hand in every-thing for that picture of Penelope to become flesh and blood, just as she stood there smiling not at Lieve, but at him, reaching an inviting hand towards him as light floated from the large friendly group of people.

There were definite longing in Lieves eyes as she looked at them, as if she wanted to will them all to stay, but then she closed her eyes as she sucked in a deep breath. "Giving this thing to you is letting them down, I wouldn't be able to face them if I did." Lieve stated in a deep strong voice and then she opened her eyes which now shot thunder. "_Not on my life!_" she spat.

"So be it." Voldemort sneered. "I shall take it!" and without warning he turned into a giant serpant whom attacked Lieve, the irish just managed to jump aside and roll around in the snow, only to be faced with three big shadows.. dementor shadows.

Lieve screamed as she crumbled together holding the cup tight to her waist.

"A troll, a dumb savaged troll." The serpent taunted. "How cute!" and it launched for her again, Lieve barely managed to roll out of the way. "Why don't you let go and lash out on me, as you always do."

"I don't want to." Lieve murmured. "I don't want to loose control.. I am _not _any kind of beast!"

"But that's exactly what you are isn't it? And now your precious friend will see.."

Lieve eyed Regulus whom laid helplessly paralyzed in the snow, and as Lieve saw him so did the snake. "Oh if that is what it takes to break you." The serpernt almost shrugged, if that was possible for a serpent and launged for Regulus with open mouth show-casing it's sharp teethes, aimed straight for Regulus!

Regulus crumbled together waiting for the impact, but then came the big bang as the serpent was thrown aside and Lieve stood with her wand tightly held in her hand.

"NO!" she yelled taking in a deep staggering breath, standing while holding her world. "Ye know what I want?" she asked the snake. "I TELL YA WHAT I WANT!" she yelled. "I WANT TO DO ALL THAT I CAN SO _YOU _WON'T HURT _MY FRIENDS!_" and then as the snake attacked again she this time got away from Regulus in a full body assault tackling the giant serpant, holding it as if she tried to some-how suffocate the beast with her arms. "Aye I hate that bloody war, I wish it never existed, but I just remembered why I need to fight!" she grunted as she held on tight, and was as a result swung through the air as she refused to let go of the serpent neck. "I need to fight, to protect the people that matters!" she stated, but the snake was way bigger than her, and all though such a stunt had worked on apparently many giant winged horses, this was different, and soon Lieve was thrown off sailing through the air landing head first in the snow.

"LIEVE!" Regulus finally managed to yell in spite of his parelyze. "THE CUP! IT'S THE CUP MAKING ALL OF THIS HAPPENING!"

Wide-eyed Lieve looked at Regulus, then her eyes found the cup in the snow where she had dropped it while she tackled the serpant, the serpant saw it as well, and in a flash second, both headed for the cup. "NOOOOO!" Lieve managed to yell as she threw herself for the cup and got it a mere second before the snake, tumbling through the snow in a summersault before she sat up straight clutching the cup looking at the snake. "No." she whispered. "It's you that's the cause of all of this! All of it, it's _you_." She barely whispered. "What-ever it takes, by god, I will do what I can to keep them safe from you." And she stood up holding the cup towards her body as the snake head slithered side-way from side-way, looking like it was ready to strike at any minute, Regulus struggled all that he could with his bounds, but there was nothing he could do. Lieves mouth seemed to be in a iron frown as she looked the viper in the eyes. "This will be my pleasure." She whispered and then she threw the cup up in the air aiming her wand at it as yelled. "Inferi!" blue flames shoot up and engulfed the cup.

The serpant let out an horrific noise, Regulus honestly thought his ear drums were going to explode, the serpent was raised in mid air as it twisted in agony, suddenly it sounded like the scream was coming from the cup, Regulus covered his ears and squinted his eyes, which were the exact moment he realised he wasn't paralyzed any-more, but he couldn't get up, that noise was just to terrible, he managed to look up and see Lieves face retrieved in pain, yet was nothing compared to her raw hot burning anger and hatred painted on her face, raw emotions all aimed at that one single cup. "BASTARD!" she yelled over the noise. "DIE! BLOODY JUST DIE!"

The Snake grumbled together in a big hiss, burned up and at last Lieve let go and sunk down to her knees in the snow as she gaped for air, the cup flying down lading in front of her, now looking crisp and burned.

"LIEVE!" Regulus got up to his feeds and didn't hesitate to run over to her. "Are you okay, are you?" he asked grabbing her shoulders only to face her confused eyes, before she closed. "Oh no you don't!" Regulus shook her shoulders. "I know what you are doing! You are trying to hide again! LIEVE LOOK AT ME!" he demanded.

"No." Lieve turned her head to the side.

"Come-one for merlins sake!" Regulus told. "Every-time, every-time you think no one is looking, you look so sad and when people come around you put up a smile, don't go back to that! You don't _have _to walk around with it all alone, see I am with you! You've seen me grouchy I wouldn't mind you returning the favour! We arrived at rock bottom together and we'll get out together." He told as he shook her shoulders. "Now, tell me what you feel! Get out with it!" he asked. "All that about not being able to face your folks if you did some-thing wrong.. is that it? Don't you want me to see you are.. a human being Lieve. Lieve if you think you failed any-body you're wrong! You didn't fail any-one, you did more than your share!"

Lieve shook her head squinting her eyes clearly holding what-ever back she was struggling with, not wanting to be a burden again, not wanting to be a bother.. was that all she could ever be?

"TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL!" Regulus at last shouted.

"What?" Lieve asked looking up at him with big blue eyes.

"Tell me!" Regulus demanded. "Say it! Out loud! The honest truth this time! And don't try to smile it away, don't tell me nothing is the matter, are you afraid of being a bother? Cause you wont be, please just tell me, what is it you feel?"

"I'm.. I'm.." And then suddenly, for the first Lieve eyes became wet, genuinely wet and teary as she cried out. "I'M SO SCARED!" she exclaimed diving into Regulus's shoulder. "I'm so scared." She cried, tears falling down her eyes. "I'm no hero Regulus, no one special, I don't know what I am doing, I am just so scared."

"That's right, cry it out." Regulus sighed relieved. "Get it out."

"But.. you wont." Lieve sniffed.

"Are you kidding me?" Regulus asked. "I just witnessed you beating part of Voldemorts soul up for my sake, go away? Please." He rolled his eyes. "I bow to you right now actually." He stated silently. "I really did mean it when I said you didn't fail any-body.. I'm." he embarrassed scratched his neck. "I'm proud of you Lieve." He at last told a little silently.

"Stupid of me.." Lieve bit her lip as she looked down. "Stupid to be scared of some-thing like that.. god.. why am I so scared?" she asked. "I'm always so scared, I'm a scarridy cat afraid every second of the day, afraid people wont like me, that I wont do good enough, that I'm not.. so stupid isn't it?"

"How long have you been afraid?" Regulus asked.

"Always I guess.. but then with me family.. It was before dad died." Lieve whispered. "I felt it.. felt some-thing was wrong, granma was so scared, and people started to hide some-thing from me, when people hide things from me.. it's always so bad.. really bad.. I was always afraid of being left alone so I tried to fit in, with lies, and I am sorry, I never wanted to lie to you.. it seems so childish, when they.." her voice broke. "They started disappearing, I didn't know what to do! I never knew what to do! Then dad and mom." She whispered. "it hurts so bad Regulus, it hurts so bad! It always hurt so bad, every single little second, I could never stop my mind, when it was quiet it's the worst… god I hate quiet, and it never stops.." she cried her big tears. "It never stops hurting so bad, I can't even pretend any-more, I'm so scared and I am so bloody angry, and it just keeps on getting worse. I know, I'm stupid. I don't want to be scared and stupid.. I don't want you to think.." she broke together.

"No." Regulus shook his head. "I told you, you are not stupid at all.. You just have a very big heart and a very big passion, and you spend all those years at Hogwarts trying to hide what you are and what you are feeling.. " he looked concerned at her as he pushed the orange hair behind her pointy ear. "Why would you lie and hide like that?" he asked.

"Scared." Lieve mumbled. "Always scared.. I just.. wanted people to like me back then, before school when I was some-where people would always sniff and point at the trolls.. But now it doesn't matter so much to me any-more, it seems so small and insignificant in comparison.. what I happen to look and sound like.. I honestly _don't care_ any-more! I cared about stupid things as zits and hair once, but now I just want things to be okay. all of this." She wiped her eyes which seemed a little pointless as tears kept on falling down her cheeks. "I don't know what to think! What to say! What's happening! I miss them so much Regulus!" she cried in huge big sobs. "God do I miss them! Me dad and mom! And the rest! And Penelope! I miss them so very much! I wish I could just see them! What do I have left? Me family is gone! It used to be so big!"

Regulus didn't know what else to do but just holding the crying girl tight.. he knew it should have felt awkward but at this moment it honestly felt so natural, and he just did. "I miss her to." Regulus sighed deeply.

"And I feel so angry.." Lieve muttered wrapping her arms around herself. "Like I just want to.. explode and rip some-ones head off.. but I am not like that Regulus.. I don't want to kill any-one, what if I ended up doing it any-way? When I am so angry."

"Lets just hope either of us will get in a situation where we will need to kill any-one." Regulus sighed. "It's war you know."

"God, I made such a fool out of myself." Lieve sniffed.

"No." Regulus shook his head. "Because you see, I'm scared to."

Lieve looked up at him with big wet eyes. "Ye are?" she asked.

"Yeah." Regulus nodded. "A lot." He told. "But at least I know I am not alone." He stated raising up offering Lieve a hand. "You know." He reflected as he pulled Lieve up. "Sirius kind of adopted you as a sister and all, doesn't that make you my sister to?" he asked.

Lieve blinked. "I.. guess." The smiled lightly. "I always wished I had a sibling."

"Well there you go." Regulus grinned. "But I am your favourite right?"

"Oh aye." Lieve nodded seriously. "No competition really." She stated. "And man am I cold." She shivered.

Regulus eyed her nightly and nodded embarrassed. "Better get inside." He stated but was stopped as Lieve held up a hand looking at the forest.

"Crap." She mumbled. "Some-one saw that light show."

Regulus followed her eyes and saw a shadow in the wilderness, coming their way.

"OI!" Lieve yelled holding her wand tight in her hand. "Who's there!" she asked. "WE SAW YE ALL READY!" she made aware. "And we are both armed and _very_ cross!"

"Lieve?" a deep male voice asked. "Little Lieve?"

Lieve blinked letting down her wand. "Uncle Joe?" she asked.

"LIEVE!" and a man came running towards them surprisingly fast, faster than you should think was possible with his big sieze.

"UNCLE JOE!" Lieve exclaimed and ran towards him to embrace the big man in a crushing hug only for him to lift her up as was she nothing but a little feather.

"WEE LIEVE!" He exclaimed happily bouncing the girl up and down. "Blimey! I thought I would never see ye again little lass!"

"Joe I missed ye!" Lieve exclaimed her accent suddenly being twice as thick as a moment ago matching Joes accent.

"Regulus! This is me fathers brother, Unca Joe!" she exclaimed pointing at the man.

"Hey.." Regulus hesitated raising a hand. "Nice to make your acquaintance." He tried.

"Well, wha a overly mannered lass, who's he?" Joe asked.

"Me best friend." Lieve stated at ones and without hesitation, making Regulus so slightly smile.

"This is brilliant, your mother will be so relieved! She started to doubt whether you were alive or not." Joe beamed.

Lieve just stopped, stopped completely as she was sat down on the ground, complete and utter silence, her face expression being that of none-comprehension as she just starred out in the air with wide opened eyes.

And Regulus was just a shocked. "Excuse me." He blinked. "Did you say her mother?" he asked.

"Aye, Emma is family of cause." Joe blinked confused over Regulus stunned tone of voice.

"Mom." Lieve gaped. "Is.. alive?" she asked in a disbelieving voice.

Also there Joe halted and looked stunned at Lieve. "Ye didn't know?"

"_She's alive_!" Lieve exclaimed and then jumped up and down in the air. "She's alive she's alive!" she exclaimed in a voice that was filled with pure ecstasy as she grabbed Regulus's hands and dragged him with her as they jumped up and down in the snow. "Alive! alive!" she laughed as tears of joy streamed down her cheeks. "Regulus! Just wait till ye meet her, she's going to make you her gingerbread, and we'll sit down with a cup of tea, it can happen, because _she's alive!" _

There was no helping that Regulus laughed with her and felt her joy fill up his chest as well, as the two friends toppled and laughing fell down in the cold snow, it was a moment of pure and absolute joy, and nothing around them in the abysmal world could touch them at that moment. Neither of them had nothing left to prove, they were just being happy for a miracle.

* * *

A big yawn sounded in the Gryfindor common room, as another werewolf streeched his arms and rubbed his arms.

"About time." James commented dryly.

Blinking Remus looked around, out of the window and discovered it was pitch black and snowing outside. "How long was I out?" he asked bewildered.

"Moony take a guess." James shook his head. "It's been the same story since you were five, though with Wolfbanes potion it is not as much two days as merely…."

"A day." Remus concluded. "Why didn't you just wake me?"

James rolled his eyes. "Why do you think. We both know this isn't going to spoil your night sleep either, you will be out as a light in a hour or two."

And suddenly Remus became aware Sirius and Lily was looking at him in pretty much the same way.

Lily thought it was pretty ironic, the werewolf had wanted to be awake, yet in his sleeping state he had clearly been the happiest of them, and he seemed pretty sheepish now as he looked at them, before he at last sighed and leaned back. "I see." He commented as he yawned again. "Your going to think I am crazy but I had a dream."

"No you would be surprised how much we are going to believe that." James smirked.

Remus rose an eyebrow, before shaking his head. "It was kind of different though, felt real." He leaned over resting his head on her hand. "I thought I saw them."

"Who?" Lily asked.

"All three of them." Remus frowned. "Lieve, Regulus and Severus… and Evelyn to.. I saw them being together."

Lily looked a little wide eyed at him. "That sounds like quite a dream." She commented.

"I suppose it was." Remus sighed. "Would have been a Christmas miracle were they actually looking out for each other…" he squinted his eyes. "You don't think that they are actually…" he let it linger in the air.

Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "Moony, what the hell would be the chances they ran into Snape by pure accident? I mean it would be great, the only wizard to be safer with is bloody Dumbledore, but what are the chances?"

"It could happen." Lily mussed.. "I mean.. yeah why not?" she asked. "They are after the same thing! What did they do in the dream?" she asked interested.

"Laughed of Severus." Remus smirked. "He insisted on being their own private scrooge, and so they had fun on his expense, which just made him even more annoyed that they were laughing at him." He looked out in the air.

Lily choked, and then swallowed. "If they were together, that is exactly how he would be right now." She commented. Then she sighed. "But I suppose if anyone but me in this room knows him at all it would be you."

Remus gave half a smirk, before looking out in the air. "Lieve and Regulus seemed remarkleble well.. it looked like they had cried but was moving on." He furrowed his brows. "And I think.." he hesitated. "I think they were somewhat happy, happier than I have ever seen them any-way."

Sirius smirked as he shook his head. "Don't go all centaur on us now please." He begged.

"It also begs the question of since when did dear Moony have the inner eye?" James chuckled.

Lily could not help it though, she somehow felt warmer and lighter inside.. there was something about what Remus had said, and she could see the other two felt it it to. So she smiled softly at him. "They are probably laughing at Sev's exspense just as you said." She sighed. "And it only makes him grumpier which makes them laugh more." She looked dreamingly out in the air. "And though he wont admit it, he will be relieved to see them cooping, because when you come down to it he does care." She blinked one time. "Yeah, that's what's happening." She decided for herself.


	60. A letter to family

In the middle of the night, as the snow laid thick outside Lieve, Regulus, Evelyn and that big man by the name Joe was warm and fuzzy inside.

Both Lieve and Regulus was wrapped up in massive thick blankets to compensate for their tumbling in the snow wearing nothing but night clothes, and even though they both had changed to warm dry night shirts, it was no wonder they were sneezing on turn.

"Your sure you have enough blankets?" Regulus asked ones again as Lieve sneezed down in her tea.

"Ye are quit the hen ones ye start caring, do ye know tha?" Lieve asked Regulus. "Aye, I'm fine." she shook her head at him while smiling amusing.

In front of them on the table stood a the roasted cup of Helga Hufflepuff, it made so much sense now, locking her feelings in Lieve had been the easiest target for the cup and it had gone for her, trying to win her over ever since they got it, slowly sucked out her very energy so it could become strong enough to project Voldemort. But Lieve had turned out to be stronger than the cup thought and won the battle, more than one battle at ones it seemed.

Regulus knew he didn't really have a right to be, but he was proud.

"There's not supposed to come other people in here." Evelyn pointed out looking suspicious at Joe holding her own tea-cup close.

"He is family, he is me uncle, me dads brother." Lieve explained softly. "So it's okay." She smiled as she looked at Joe. "Though, Unca.." she mumbled. "If mom is alive, why dinnae she came for me?" she asked slightly confused and just slightly hurt.

"She had to go underground at ones, or they would hunt her down." Joe sighed deeply. "Princes, she's a half-blood who married a half-breed, and threw a fitt of a full-blood. It had to be that way, believe me we had to hold her back from her going on foot to Hogwarts and get you, it took a lot of convincing to make her stay hidden." He told seriously. "We first managed to convince her when we came up with a plan, last Christmas, ye were supposed to come keep Christmas with me and ya uncle Xenophelis, remember, I kept trying to get you here, the plan was the reunite ye two then, and ye could both flee."

"Oh dear unicorn." Lieve gaped covering her mouth. "Tha is why ye were so pushy abouve it!" she exclaimed. "I dinnae know, I was.. kind of afraid to go back without mom or dad being there, I just.. couldn't." she excused herself while blushing furiously.

"It's all right princess, all right. I must admit I started getting really worried when ye dinna come home from summer vacation either."

"I was told even nearing the farm would be bad." Lieve barely whispered. "I was told there was no-one here." She shook her head. "I'm so sorry." She muttered.

"but ye are here now." Joe smiled broadly.

Lieve smiled back at him, but it was only to obvious it was a little forced and at last Lieve exhaled. "Where is she now?" she then at last asked.

"Hiding." Joe told. " Just pack up, and we can be with her in a couple of days, she will be over-joyed." He told in a bright smile.

Regulus stiffened as he looked at Joe, trying to comprehend what the large man had just said and what that meant, even Evelyn looked intensely at him, then Regulus looked at Lieve whom in turn looked open mouthed at Joe.

For some moments, it was just that, until Lieve sighed deeply and shook her head. "I'm sorry." She mumbled. "Believe me, I want to see her to, but I can't leave." She stated. "I cannae just go into hiding." And Regulus let out a sigh of relief he didn't know he had been holding.

Joe gaped. "Princess, ye must!" he told Lieve. "Little lady, ye have to."

"Nay." Lieve shook her head.

"Now ye are being stubborn little princess, I'm sure if ye think about it, ye must come. Ye belong here, with us, ya family." Joe stated, "And in either case, it was left to me to make sure ye would be all right, ye are coming."

Lieve shook her head. "Dinnae ye understand Unca?" she asked. "I've handled myself for over a year, for over a year I've been on my own. And now I am seventeen." She looked at her uncle with very serious clear eyes. "Ye dinna need to protect me, it would only make me annoyed, I can look after meself now." She told. "Ye wouldn't believe all the things I have done."

Regulus held his breath as Joe looked surprised at Lieve, then his eyes softened and he shook his head. "Aye, I can see that." He mumbled. "Ye are a woman now, I guess I just hoped. Ye sure ye wont come, there's no shame in that. Please change ye mind." He asked.

Lieve looked defeated at Joe, but she didn't look torned, she looked at peace with her words. "I can't." she said. "I still got some-thing left to do, wouldn't leave me brother while he still have just a little need for me." She joked vaguely at Regulus.

Regulus amused shook his head. "Lieve, if you need to go see your mother, I understand. I wouldn't want to hold you cooked up in here. You don't need to stay for my sake."

"I'm not." Lieve assured putting a hand on Regulus's hand. "I'm staying because I know what is right, now I would love to turn my back to this war and pretend it's over, but it wouldn't be, and I wouldn't be able to stand the days hiding trying to pretend, not while I have a responsibility." She told assuredly. "I need to be here." She told assuredly.

"Why little Lieve." Joe whispered and Lieves head turned to him. "Why, you must be the prettiest thing I ever saw, just look at ya." He smiled. "All grown up and prettier than ever, prettier than a rose in june, if just your father could see ya know, he would say the same." He told.

Lieve smiled and stood up, only to lean forward and wrapped her arms around Joe to give him a hug. "Thank you uncle." She told. "I hope you wont be to mad at me for not going with you." She asked as she sat back. "It's honestly tough making these sorts of choices." She sighed.

"In either case we need to move." The voice whom said it was stern and dangerous making every-one turn their heads, Severus had just stepped out of the fire-place and he looked angry.

"Severus?" Lieve questioned. "Wha?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you, our location has been compromised, if he can just walk in here then who else can?" he asked as he pointed at Joe who m looked astounded at Severus.

"You placed alerts around the place didn't you?" Regulus asked in a sigh.

"That should be the least of any pre-causions, for instance I would very much like why you haven't told me about that?" Severus drawled dangerously as he pointed at the crisped cup.

"You didn't tell us any-thing at all." Regulus responded in a sigh. "If you are not straight with us, how can you then expect us to be straight with you?" he asked. "I respect you and all that, you meant the world to Penelope and you still mean the world to Lily, But that's the only real reasons I would go out of my way to work with you." He told. "You are not exactly making it easy to even trust you. I would like to trust you, but so far we."

"We aint really got any reason to." Lieve finished for Regulus with crossed arms.

"I think I have made it perfectly easy to understand, do as I say and don't ask dimwitted questions." Severus snorted with crossed arms.

"Who is that young man?" Joe asked bewildered.

"Mr, Scrooge is who he is." Lieve snorted with crossed arms, genuinely making Regulus snicker.

"I might ask a similar question." Severus stated glaring at the larger man.

"Severus, Joe O'Hara, me fathers brother, Unca Joe, Severus Snape, a school mate whom also happens to be a bit of an twat." Lieve presented them for each other.

"Fine then, but now you two, tell me _exactly _what happened." Severus demanded in a voice that didn't tolerate any objections.

Lieve sighed deeply apparently having gotten so used to Severus fouls moods now that she didn't even took care. "Ye know what that thing is." She murmured as she pointed at the crisp Horecrux. "It was what we came for, we got it, and the reason why we didn't tell ya." She shook her head. "From the moment we got it, tha thing started to affect us I think, it dinna want to be given up, it recognised ye as a threat, ye can close off yer mind, so it dinna wanted to be known to ya." She sighed yet again even deeper. "And it recognised me as the easiest target, the weakest one, it wanted to break me, started whispering to me solely.. it wanted me give me-self to it, so it could.. could take me life-force."

"But the cup had judged wrong." Regulus smirked. "It may thought Lieve was the weakest the most un-important, and that is the result!" he grinned as he pointed at the cup. "Poor judgement, wouldn't you say?"

"I have nayte idea what ye kids are talking abou," Joe confused scratched his head.

"I still dinnae understand." Lieve frowned. "The cup was right, I am not able to control my mind or close it off, in fact out of the four of us I am the one with the least control in any-thing! not in the slightest, how could I ever stand a chance of beating it?" she asked perplexed.

"Want my take on it?" Regulus asked as Lieve nodded. "The cup tried to use desires, ambitions, greedy things to turn you over, but you didn't want any-thing. Not for yourself any-way, out of us three, the cup couldn't have chosen worse. A bloody Hufflepuff would be so much better suited fighting that thing than a Slytherin driving on ambition!" he rolled his eyes.

"Rawenclaw." Lieve reminded him. "House of the eccentrics."

"It is?" Regulus asked with an ached eye-brow.

"Aye," Lieve nodded. "It's our codex to like what is different as brilliance tense to come from mad people, the general public called crazy at first, ye should see our common room, it's an absolute mess."

"You know, I _could _see you as a mad inventor in a messy shed." Regulus almost chuckled. "The way you just keep on talking and theorise about _every single thing_ you see and observe!" he laughed. "Your so damn curious, Merlin, you are actually starting to make sense to me, what is the world coming to?" he asked himself shaking his head.

"I want to know!" Lieve defended with wide-spread out arms. "How _do _the muggles get the food inside of those canes without magic!? Tell me ye dinna want to know!" she exclaimed making Regulus genuinely laugh. "I've came up with five theorise thus far, but neither feels right."

"Only you would still be on about that." Regulus smirked deeply amused.

Severus scoffed annoyed. "Enough of this, Pack up quick." He demanded. "We are leaving within the hour."

"Where are we going?" Lieve asked with wide-eyes.

"Any-where they wont find us." Severus shrugged. "Just do precisely as I say, and we might survive the rest of the year in one piece." He scoffed.

"What, the rest of the week?" Joe asked.

"Exactly." Severus scuffed.

"It's that close to new-year?" Regulus and Lieve ased simultaneously in surprise before they looked at each other and then burst out laughing.

"Princess, I really dinnae like that." Joe hesitated. "Please, go visit ye mother, what if either of ye died and ye never saw each other again?" he asked.

Lieve closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "If I write a note can ye give it to her?" she asked

"Aye." Joe nodded slowly. "It may take some time, but she'll get it." He promised. "But it's a shame she can't see ya." He sighed. "how much you've grown.. she wouldn't believe how darn pretty her little girl is."

"Thanks." Lieve smiled vaguely. "I'm just going to.. write that letter, and then I promise when we have some more time, I tell ya every-thing! I have so much to tell about!" she told in a smile.

"Isn't that the truth." Regulus sighed deeply as he raised from the couch. "We've been busy to say the least."

* * *

_Dearest Mom. _

_It's me! It's your Lieve, and I want you to know, finally, I am all right. _

_I am all right, and I am so happy, happy to hear you're alive. _

_Mom, there's so much I want to tell you, I don't even know how to begin. _

_This past year, could might as well have been a life-time, no-thing is the same, for better and worse. _

_I fell in love mom, and I lost that love, but now I am all-right. And I think maybe, I want to try to be in love again, with some-one new, when the time comes. _

_Some days has been tough, but some has also given me so far some of the best moments I can remember. _

_Most importantly, I finally have some people whom I know is watching my back, comrades. Not just comrades though! They are my friends, I can always count of them and there are so many of them. I want you to meet all of them! _

_They can be silly and immature, some-times they fight, some-times they do very stupid things. But in the end when it matters they will all be there, and I want you to know I am with those people. And when all this in over, I guess I'll finally be bringing school mates over on vacation, lord knows we all need a vacation of a nice quiet farm. _

_Especially there's this one guy you just have to meet, he is the best friend any-one could ever wish for, at first he seems posh, rude, arrogant, tight, immature and inconsiderate, but the reality couldn't be more in-accurate, in reality he isn't like that at all, well okay he is posh, rude, arrogant and all of that, but only because that was what he was brought up to be, his inner real nature is kindness, kindness to every-body, for a time his real nature was in war with what he had been taught, but now any idiot can see, how kind he is, wait till you meet him. He is the best friend any-one could ever wish for. _

_It's hard to describe what I am feeling, but.. yes, I am all right, I love you so mom, and I count the days till I can see you again. _

_Love, yours for-ever, Lieve. _


	61. What we need to face

"Lily!" James tried to catch up to the girl, and he had to run to do so, cause she was walking very fast forward. "Lily please talk to us!" he stated as both Sirius and Diane came running in his heels, and finally stopped as Lily did, all gasping for air.

"I'm just taking a bit of air, I don't see what the problem is." Lily stated as she rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean." James sighed. "Lily, what are you up to? It's been ages since you arranged any-thing with the phoenix fighters, what's up?"

"Yeah, it has been sort of a while." Lily sighed. "Then you better do some-thing about it." she shrugged James off.

"Hah." Sirius laughed. "She's giving you chores now mate."

"It's not my club." James rolled his eyes at Lily.

"Isn't it?" Diane asked in a blink.

"I didn't start it." James told.

"The person whom started it is dead James." Lily rolled her eyes.

"I thought it was every-bodies club." Diane snorted crossing her arms looking challenging at her boy-friend. "Though Lily you kind of.." she cleared her throat. "We kind of need you to set up the next meeting" she hesitated.

At last Lily stopped and turned around the face the three of them. "Why?" she asked. "What is it you need me so badly for?" she asked.

"I don't know, setting up the next meeting maybe?" James suggested with a role of his eyes.

Lily sighed as she slipped a hand through her hair. "Look, here's the problem." She told. "I am not leader material, I don't have it in me to control a whole group, I honestly wish that I had, but I realised recently that I don't." She admitted. "That's not where I belong."

"Aw come on Lily, you." James grumped.

"Now hear me out." Lily stopped him. "I am a lousy leader, I am not good at it, so I was sort of waiting for you to do some-thing by yourself." She told seriously.

Diane lifted an eye-brow. "Like what?" she asked.

Lily shrugged. "Continue, call a meeting yourself." She told. "I mean, why be stuck on me whom will never be a good leader, when the born leader is standing right there." She asked while pointing at James.

James blinked vividly. "Now hold on." He held up his hands. "Me Lily? Me?" he asked. "It's me you are pointing at! You Lily Evans, are pointing me out to continue a club you find important."

"I am well aware." Lily rolled her eyes. "And if there is some-thing I know you are, it's that you are the born leader." She told in a secure steady voice. "Back at that forest with those ghastly werewolves, had we listened to you it would have saved us a lot of bother, if I had treated you as the leader it would have saved us a lot of bother, all these years with the Marauders. All of that time, James you are a natural leader! I am not, I don't want to admit it but I am out of my league, I can't handle it, not by myself. I'll help with what-ever you come up with I promise. But I wont lead any-more." She told. "I am not suited for it, and I rather step back so I can see every-body flourish than keeping holding onto some-thing I am un-intentionally hurting, I am keeping this whole group back." She told in a deep sigh.

"People will still get hurt even if I lead." James breathed.

"I am aware of that." Lily stated. "But with you leading the way, none of the hurts will be without meaning, you understand how to lead a group. Another thing I don't. I'm not stopping fighting, but I am stepping back, to do what I need to do myself. And I cannot both do that and lead."

James swallowed. "I don't know."

"She's right James." Diane laid a hand on his shoulder. "You are the natural leader, even I can see that." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Well Prongs, honestly." Sirius also bit his lip. "Lily got a point."

At last James shook his head. "All-right, I try to give it a go, but I am no Severus."

"No one expect you to be and beside." Lily shook her head. "Severus is a lousy leader any-way, just do it your own way." She encouraged. "It'll be all-right I promise." She stated placing a firm hand on James's shoulder, looking into his eyes with a steady gaze. "Or at least it'll be better than if I did it." She stated. "I believe in you James Potter." She at last stated as she gave his shoulder one final squeeze and then let go.

James shook his head. "Then I say we do nothing right now." He told. "Stay low Lily, and don't get into trouble. We'll re-assume our actions after the winter-break, when we know how many will even return to the castle." He told.

"Of cause." Lily nodded. "You know me, that would never happen." She stated as she walked past James, and away, towards the entrance hall, presumable for a walk in the snow.

"She's going to get into trouble." James flat out stated.

"Gee, and you figured how?" Sirius asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Diane." Jame turned to his girl-friend.

"What? What are you turning to me for?" Diane asked. "She's not my close friend. And if there is some-thing I've figured it is that if she wants to do some-thing, she'll just go ahead and do it!"

* * *

It was a long and hard wandering in the snow, Severus had decided walking on foot was the safest as apparition could always be tracked, and they apparently wanted to be overly careful.

Lieve and Regulus made due though, they could always banter at each other, and they did, a lot, mostly they made fun of Severus.

Some-times Lieve would tell story, about her family, her mom and dad, and Regulus interested listened this time around, asking several questions adding his own, neatly cutting Lieve off as it became to much as well as she would tell him when he were being genuinely rude. It was such a weird relationship they had going on, but yet it worked. It helped.

"So ye are just sitting there around a table not saying a single word for hours?" Lieve asked Regulus. "Critters, that sounds like a boring party!"

"Oh it's aggravating." Regulus told as he rolled his eyes. "When Sirius was still there he would of cause start being a bother by the beginning, but then he would be send to his room, and the hours of pretentious important talk began." He shook his head as he looked up to the sky. "As a eleven year old having to sit to listen to that, okay it was hell!" he slowly imitated one of does so called high class family members he was talking about. "Have you heard what the ministry did? Hiring half-bloods, half-bloods I say, outrageous." He imitated before giving up. "And that is in spite none of them ever having an actual real job, least of all in the ministry."

Lieve burst out in laughter my Regulus's imitation. "I feel for ya, honestly I do!" she stated as she clapped Regulus on the shoulder. "When this is over, I'll throw ya a real party, you deserve it." She stated with a glint in her eye. "Merlin, didn't you have ever fun ever while growing up?" she asked.

"Only when witnessing Sirius run around in circles as a big mutt and then be put on kitchen duty for it." Regulus told in a slight smirk.

"And I whom thought ye hated that ye had a brother." Lieve chuckled.

Annoyed Severus grumbled as he continued forward, KIDS! What they did think this was? Toy-land!?

It was indeed bitter cold, if they got discovered just a tiny bit they were all dead, they didn't have prober shelter, food or any-thing, all they knew could be dead and none of them would be the wiser, and still those two nimwits behind him managed to chuckle together, how? How did that make any sense?

Evelyn had how-ever stopped, waiting for the two to catch up, as they did she started to walk with them instead. For what seemed around half an hour she just walked with them, that was at last until she asked. "What are you doing?"

Lieve smiled at the little werewolf. "Having a bit of fun." She told.

"trying to spread the knowledge of the oh so great full-blood gatherings." Regulus rolled his eyes.

"It would be so easy to prank does people, do you realise that?" Lieve asked.

"Oh, I'm listening." Regulus lifted an eye-brow.

"And I thought ye didn't liked pranking." Lieve commented.

"Meh, those people seriously needs to loosen up, they are almost as bad as him." Regulus commented pointing at Severus. "I mean, it's just depressing."

"He sure is a bigger stick in the mud than you ever were." Lieve nodded.

"Oh ge thanks." Regulus snorted in response.

"What _are_ you doing?" Evelyn asked in a tone far older than herself.

"What do ya mean?" Lieve asked.

"This.. silly talk." Evelyn pointed out in frustration.

"What else would we be doing, there's nayte much else to do." Lieve pointed out. Only for Evelyn to send her an annoyed look.

Regulus shook his head. "Evelyn, we _know _how serious things are, believe me we know, but nothing is happening right now, so we are just trying to make it through to the next battle." He explained in a patient voice. "Beside, we don't know what happens, tomorrow could be a terrible day, so we might as well make the best of it right now." He stated. "Believe me, self hate can destroy you."

Lieve looked at Regulus, her eyes shining with pride as she smiled all over, they had both grown so much on their journey together and she was so proud of both of them.

"We just want to be the best we can be." Lieve stated reaching down to take Evelyns hand in a warm grasp. "Ye know, ye are far to young to be an adult." She told.

Evelyns eyes bashed down, she mumbled some inconsistent words to herself which neither Regulus nor Lieve could hear.

"Ya know, why dinna ye tell me a story?" Lieve asked Evelyn. "The last one was so pretty."

"I told you, I don't make up stories any-more." Evelyn muttered.

"Oh come on." Regulus asked almost in a snort as he walked with his hands behind his back. "Just to make the time pass." He asked as he rolled his eyes. "Not like there is any-thing better to do here, any prober book laying out, so real stories is out I suppose."

"Regulus." Lieve warned. "Rude."

Regulus merely shrugged in responds making Lieve roll her eyes this time.

And Evelyn send them both a sour look before she hurried up to catch up with Severus and the two friends bowed over their project again.

And that was the nature of it, their odd group, wandering day in and day out through the show, setting up shelter in the evenings but never stayed for long in the same place, at least for a couple of days.

It had been an extra trying day for Severus, having had O'Hara and Black literately team up against him was trying indeed. He wish he knew what he could do to put the two of them down a tad, but the two seemed to untouchable in their talk and banter.

"Be quiet!" he finally hissed at them as Regulus had just told about an extra exciting quidditch match he had won for his team.

"Who's going to hear us?" Regulus asked in a lifted eye-brow.

"You never know." Severus replied in a dark tone.

"Ohh, aye." Lieve rolled her eyes. "Of cause, and maybe all them critters that are running around are really evil wizards in disguise." She stated looking at Regulus. "And our tent is a death-trap out to swallow us, and the trees are all listening in to the things we say, for Regulus's old tea parties are vital information to all the high and mighty dark lord, and all though they all clearly know where we are they haven't taken us in yet because ye-know-who is in a silly mood today." Lieve listed as she placed her hands on her hips. "Ya do realise paranoia is a real problem and can stop ya from thinking clearly?" she asked Severus. "Why me oll aunty Ellie, she was driven crazy seeing gnomes every-where she turned."

"All right listen." Severus hissed as he whirled around starring down at Lieve and Regulus, beyond tired of not being taken seriously. "It was _not_ my choice to be stuck on you two, GOT THAT?" he asked. "You could not do such a simple thing as staying low could you?" he asked. "I am _stuck_ on you two, and I am doing you a favour, but I could leave you behind, Merlin help me I am tempted!"

Almost as it was second nature Lieve and Regulus moved closer to each other sending Severus a look saying it all, well then you wont know what we are going to be up to!

Severus growled as he turned around and moved forward, Regulus shrugged and followed, but Lieve, Lieve had stopped, her eyes having caught some-thing very near her food on the ground.

She blinked a couple of times, then she frowned, she looked up at her three comrades wandering around without any real goal any-real purpose. Then she looked at the ground again and her eyes widened in realisation.

"WAIT!" Lieve suddenly yelled making the whole group halt almost in shock.

"What?" Severus groaned annoyed, he didn't see anything, there was just forest, and the train track.

"Look. It's a train track." Lieve pointed as she spoke in a astounded voice, as if it was some-thing that had given her the realisation of a life time. "There will be trains on tha there will."

Severus rolled his eyes as he growled annoyed. "Of cause there will." he growled.

"One of those trains will go to King cross." Lieve breathed. "And from there ye can go to scotland, and from there, ye can go to Hogsmead." She stated as she looked expecting at Regulus and Severus, as if she expected them to get what she got.

Severus's stomach cringed. "So you can." he sneered. "What about it?"

"Ye can go to Hogwarts by boarding tha train." Lieve stated pointing at the train track.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Evidently. Lets move on." he turned to walk further and fully expected Lieve to follow or just leave her.

"Come on." Regulus touched Lieves shoulder. "No use thinking about all of that, lets get moving."

"Wait." Lieve stopped them again as she held up her hand.

"Lieve, what is it?" Regulus asked in a genuinely concerned voice.

Lieves eyes didn't leave the train track, and then she sighed. "I'm erh.. I." she swallowed. "I'm not going with you." she suddenly stated.

"_What?_" Regulus asked stunned, now he was astounded. In fact, he didn't really comprehend what she had just said, also Severus turned around looking at her whiling lifting a surprised eyebrow and Evelyn looked wondering up at Lieve. "What do you mean?" Regulus asked on a confused clearly not getting what she had just stated.

"I have unfinished business, but it's not here, it's back there." She breathed deeply. "I'm done running, done trying to escape the issue. I'm so tired of hiding." Lieve sighed. "I've done my job here.. i'm erh.. going back to Hogwarts."

"What?" Regulus repeated trying to comprehend what she was saying.

"I'm going back to Hogwarts." Lieve smiled a little more defeated. "I'm going to jump aboard the next train tha' comes across this track, go to London, and there to Hogsmead, then I am going to tell the Marauders and Lily what they need to know."

For some moments there were completely silence as people tried to comprehend this.

"What?" Severus asked with squinted eyes, now suddenly also giving her his full intention, even if on unwillingly so.

"Well, ye ought to be happy." Lieve looked up at Severus. "Ya so badly want to get rid of me right? Well, here's yer chance.. This is the end of the line for me on this backtrack."

Stunned Regulus looked at her. "But I.." he swallowed. "I thought you wanted to see this through."

"I do, and I will." Lieve told sincerely. "This is not stopping fighting, this is taking a stand, and finally I might add. Regulus think about it, what are we even doing here?" she asked. "the fight is not here right now, it's back at Hogwarts, so that is where I need to be. I.." she looked hopelessly at Regulus. Then she glanced at Severus, "ye should come with me." she informed. "I think we all need to face what is back there to get any further from here. We have no reason to be here at all."

Severus merely looked sourly at her in return, not saying a word.

"She's still waiting." Lieve told. "Waiting for ye, waiting for ye to see reason and well.. face it."

Severus snorted and looked away.

"I think I know why ye can't make a patronus now." Lieve stated still looking at Sev. "If ye want to make a Patronus again.. ye need to go back, ye need to embrace and face it instead of pushing away, the feeling of a patronus, its those feelings that can hurt so bad isn't it? Because they are so fraquile, so if you push that away, you can't make a patronus."

"_What_." Severus sneered. "Exactly gives you the right to lecture me?" he asked.

Not taking her eyes of Severus Lieve drew her own brown wand, and then she twirled around forcefully pointing at the forest beside them, in her mind she heard laughter, she smelled the grass from a warm summer day, and the smell of the hay she was hiding in as her father looked for her, her mothers smile, Regulus's assuring hand, the Marauders collected laughter, life.. all of that flashed through Lieves mind and made her chest almost melt, but as the same time it hurt, hurt knowing how fragile all of that was, how easy she could loose it if it she wasn't careful, it did hurt but this time she embraced it, and yet, the good overwhelmed the bad, and she forcefully spoke. _"Exspecto Patronum!" _and out of her wand, shoot a silver badger, standing in the snow looking at them, looking robust and strong as it observed it, Regulus's little fragile looking bluebird circling around it.

Lieve smiled by the sight and then looked triumphantly at Severus.

Severus looked darkly at the badger sitting in the snow, before his face retrieved in a frown. "This means nothing." he stated.

"Regulus, ye take good care of him now." Lieve stood in front of Regulus. "See if ye can hit some sense into his dense skull without getting hurt yer-self."

Suddenly Regulus felt lost as he looked at Lieve. "I.. erh.. I try." he swallowed.

Lieve smiled as she took both of his hands. "I hope I'll see ye again very soon, bu'.. I'm nayte stupid, and I know i'll hate myself for-ever if I didn't tell ye and ye somehow got hurt out here.. ye are the best friend any-one could ever ask for, i'm so proud of being ye friend. I always wanted a sibling so badly, If I could pick any-one at all" she squeezed both his hands as she smiled at him, that look saying every-thing. "Ye'r so kind and passionate and loyal, I'll take ye over Siri any day."

Regulus couldn't help but smile amused and shake his head.

"Yer such a good person Reg, I just wish ye would be kinder to yer'self." she told honestly.

Regulus blinked. "I wish you would be kinder to yourself to." whispered. "We." he swallowed. "We make a good team." he said.

"Aye." Lieve smiled. "We do, we are good team mates, we fill out each others flaws quite nicely." She whispered looking up at him.

"Lieve." Regulus sighed and first hesitantly reached out a hand, then at last rested it on her arm, and closed his hand around it, even through the fabric he could feel Lieves muscle tensing and he became aware, other girls often had frail soft arms, but not Lieve, she was strong, a life-time of farming and a liking towards the practical had made her so lean and strong long ago, he wouldn't be surprised if she could take him easily in a arm wrestle, Regulus found he didn't want to let go of that strength as he held unto the rough fabric and looked at her face whom looked back at him. "Lieve erh.." he scratched his neck. "You erh.. what I mean to say is.." he sighed. "I can't believe your just going to go, like this..." admitted. "I've learned so much from you, your so smart.. and.. honest..,your really something.. as you said, we are a good team." He whispered.

"Are ye asking me to stay?" Lieve asked with a slight smile.

Regulus only needed to look into her eyes and he knew, if he asked her she would stay, she would do what-ever he asked of her, and the feeling was mutual. "I can't ask you." He then finally admitted.

"I need to do this, but.. ye could come with me?" she suggested. "Ya should come with me!"

"Not yet." Regulus told, then slowly moved closer to her, ever closer as he still held her arm, bowing over her, and then kissed her forehead, a light friendly kiss, as that one between family members, then he retrieved looking fondly at her as he whipped a tear away from her chin, it was no longer a trouble for Lieve to cry or be angry freely, tears could run down her cheeks even when other saw, and instead of anger bottling up she could show ordinary annoyance, she even.. could be a lot more quiet without it feeling awkward, Regulus smiled at her. "Just go out and do what you are supposed to all-right?" he asked. "Seriously, stop doing what other people expect, you could be so great if you just do what you are supposed to do! You get what I mean?" he asked.

Lieve smiled proudly back at him, a tear escaping her eyes. "Right back at ya." She stated. "Do what you are supposed to do! Oh come here!" Lieve drew Regulus into an embrace. "The moment i'm on tha' train, i'm going to miss ye to ye dope." she told a single tear rolling down her chin. "So if ye just stop being such a cry baby." she told in a broken voice. "And promise to come back to Hogwarts in one piece all right, if ye die out here, i'll kill ye."

Regulus chuckled. "Me to." he said.

"Tha' makes no sense."

"I know."

Lieve retrieved from the hug and then sat down on her knees to be in eye height with Evelyn. "And ye." she looked at the little werewolf, and bowed forward whispering so only she could hear. "And ye keep a close eye on both of them and make sure the'll stay out of trouble, ye'r the only one sensible around here, keep them in their ears." Lieve gestured.

"I… I try." Evelyn blinked looking wondering at Lieve, with childish wonderment, and suddenly she didn't look beastly at all, her eyes were not yellow, how could Lieve have ever thought that? They were wonderfully blue as she looked at Lieve, as if she didn't quiet understand what was going on..

"And, don't ever stop telling stories." Lieve told a little more sternly. "Got that? Don't ever stop, no matter how old ye are, what other says." she chuckled. "And no matter what happens, ye know ye stories have nothing to do with ye being a werewolf, that's all ye as a person, plus.. they are so wonderful." Lieve chuckled. "Maybe ye could become an author! Then I want a signed book!"

"An author…." Evelyn pondered. "I don't know.."

"Think about it." Lieve asked her. "Just for me, please?" she asked. "Tha' wha' lifes is all about, collecting all those wonderful stories, good and bad, because tha' is over for sure when ye'r dead, no more stories in the after life where such a concept as time doesn't exist, so ye need, to collect a wonderful library of stories in life, sad stories, happy stories, funny stories, a huge library of page turners to look back at and tell.. by living, do tha' for me?" she asked as she pressed her eyes together trying to keep back the tears. "Please." She asked Evelyn.

Evelyn nodded swallowing. "All right." She stated. "But only because you cried."

Lieve sniffed. "Did not." And then turned around as to try and shield her tear.

Only to be faced with Severus whom towered far about her, looking annoyed an sullenly down at her, Lieve looked up at her wiping her tea away. "Oh nay reason for ye to look like tha, ye'll get rid of me. And the good thing about being me, I weren't even considered as one of the outlaws, just overlooked as a dumb irish whom didn't know better, so they don't even look for me, I'm all-right." She pointed out before she grow silent, and then carefully extended a hand towards Severus. "Please?" she asked.

Severus sighed deeply, then shook his head at the tense air seemed to leave him, if only for a moment and he finally gave in and accepted Lieves hand.

Lieve shook it firmly, very firmly, but didn't let go at ones, instead she held it kind of tight as she sternly looked Severus in the eyes. "If ye do something stupid I'll tell Lily and she'll kill ye for sure." Lieve mumbled finally releasing Severus hand, making Severus scoff of her. "Dinnae give me tha' look Severus Snape." Lieve looked at him with crossed arms returning a midly stern look at him. "I know ye'll miss me." she told in a slight smile. "Some-how, in your own weird way, You are good enough Severus." She smiled lightly at him. "Oh, and by the way, I'm going to tell Lily… everything, how much ye miss her."

"I don't.." Severus snapped but stopped himself at the all ready lost battle.

"She'll be happy to know." Lieve smiled cutting him off. "And well, if you come from such a bad place as you say, maybe you were send here to collect some good stories to weigh up for all of the bad." she pointed out. "I hope so, I want ya to life and collect all the good stories, the ones that make ye smile each time ye hear them… Oh my." her head turned around. "A train." she observed. "Every-one take care!" she told in a fast pace. "Take care of yourself, and each other, and promise me we'll all meet again."

"We'll meet again." Regulus smiled.

Severus merely snorted, but Evelyn smiled, and almost hopeful smile.

Lieve nodded turning around looking at the train which came closer and closer. "Well, see ya hopefully sooner than later." Lieve said in a loud voice, she had to as the train was close, and then it came driving past them, and Lieve grabbed the ladder on the side of one of the storing wagons jumping on, letting the train carry her as she looked at all of them, waving with her arm in big movements. "GOOD BYE!" she yelled as she laughed. "SEE YA SOON! AND BY THE WAY SEVERUS!" she yelled on the top of her lungs before any-one was to far away. "IF YOU ARE IN ANY DOUBT THAT LILY'S HEART IS IN IT, HER PATRONUS IS A RAVEN! THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANTED TO KNOW!"

"BYE!" Evelyn waved after her running a little bit but of cause couldn't keep on with the train, as she suddenly tripped in the snow and mad a single summersault before landing on her back laughing up at the sky.

Lieve couldn't help but chuckle from the sight.. and then.. the train took a turn.. and they were all gone. Lieve closed her eyes, keeping back her sob as she prayed that she really would see them again. she really did miss them all ready, then she reached for the slide door on the wagon and opened it to see a huge storing compartment filled with box's which she jumped into. "On my own again." she whispered and then smiled, knipsing away a tear. "It doesn't feel so bad now." she remarked sitting down, anticipation starting to fill out her chest as she thought of her destination and where she had come from.

* * *

Severus was left to stand blinking by the last message. "Excuse me?" he asked as if Lieve was right next to him, in spite of the fact that she was long gone.

"It's true." Regulus nodded. "Her patronus _is _a Raven."

Severus frowned annoyed. "And that matters because?"

"The raven is you." Regulus told as he shrugged. "She walks around calling it Sev." he sighed. "Come on Evelyn, Pen." he took Evelyns hand and pulled her up on her legs, guided the little blue bird with him and started walking.

First as they were well out of hearing range did Severus cover his face with his hands. "Oh no." he hissed. "How on earth did it come that far?" he couldn't help it as his hands brushed his wand and he held it in his hand, his black elegant wand.. oh it would be so easy, so easy being enthralled by such an image, but he wouldn't, he refused.. he had to push her away from his mind, the green eyed bewitching girl, he had to be the one cold and distant, and so he stuffed his wand back in his belt not even attempting a patronus as he started walking, then he stopped and turned around, looking at Regulus and Evelyn walking past him, squinting his eyes. "This was actually a good thing." he remarked. "That girl did not belong out here at all, and I didn't want to take care of her."

The two looked up, and then questionable looked at him.

"Evelyn." Severus then stated in a stern voice. "It's time for you to go as well."

Evelyn gaped. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"We will be headed for your mother now, and you will stay with her." Severus stated.

"But.. you promised." Evelyn swallowed. "To not let her see?"

"You're better now are you not?" Severus asked. "To top that off she's worrying about you, we are going and that's that." he stated, turning back, and started to walk.

Stunned Evelyn stood back.

Regulus looked at her with a slightly croocked eye-brow. "Your mother is not that bad is he?" he asked.

"No, mom is wonderful, she loves me." Evelyn told.

"Then what is the problem?" Regulus asked.

"I'm erh.. a little scared." Evelyn at last admitted.

"It's fine." Regulus told as he reached down and took her hand. "I bet Lieve is scared to on that train, to go back and face things.. it's not all that easy. But we all must some time."

"What about you then?" Evelyn asked.

"I will, I promise." Regulus told as he squeeshed the hand. "Just not yet, I have to keep an eye on Severus for a little while more." he told, only to make Severus in front of them snort, and that in turn made Regulus role his eyes.


	62. New years eve

James had been right, indeed Lily still did what she thought needed to be done, that was how she was, ever since that tower incident, she had been keeping an eye out. She had nicked the Marauders map and was keeping that eye… on a certain blond, not to be trusted, Slytherin boy. Tried to capture him at small moments, seeing what he was up to. "What will happen at new years eve crouch.. what will happen." She asked in a whisper as she sat hidden behind a book shelf.

"You're following Crouch!"

Lily was ready to get a heart attack as she almost fell down the chair she sat in at the library, where she had view of Crouch among the bookshelves' on the other side, and looked wide-eyed up. "Peter!" she exclaimed. "Don't scare me like that." She breathed.

"You shouldn't follow Crouch around, he is dangerous." Peter exclaimed in a loud voice.

"Shh! He'll hear you." Lily hushed Peter down.

For moment Crouch looked up, but then he shrugged as he turned back.

"What do you even hope to accomplish?" Peter hissed at Lily in a much lower voice.

"I don't know, but some-thing needs to happen." Lily whispered back.

"You know Jennifer." Crouch suddenly spoke as he leaned back in the chair, speaking to the Slytherin girl beside himself. "It's so great every-thing finally is getting as it should be don't you think?" he asked. "True full-bloods getting prober respect, the muggles being treated as what they are, exactly what they were, no more glorifying what is merley animals, and the traitors getting punished. What a great party our new-years eve party is going to be, it's going to change every-thing!"

"Sure looking forward to it." Jugson nodded at him. "Where was it?" she asked.

"Head-mistress office of cause." Crouch exhaled. "We'll all need to be there."

Lily's eyes squinted. McGonagall's offices.. Some-thing was going to happen there.. Both she and Peter waited in silence till the Slytherin was gone, and Lily was on her way, but what she hadn't counted on was Peter following in her heels. "You are not really going there are you?" he asked Lily.

"Of cause I am, some-thing is happening up there. And don't you dare tell the others they are busy on their own, I need to go alone." Lily stated.

"But.. you can't." Peter exclaimed as he followed her. "What if it's dangerous, what if you got discovered?" he asked.

"Then it's only me who would get hurt." Lily told flatly as she stood up and started to walk away.

"James wouldn't like that, Snape wouldn't like that! No one would." Peter tried to reason, as he had to run to keep up with her fast paces.

"I am not James and I am not Sev." Lily then stated as she strode past him. "Beside I am not exactly in life danger, I am not so stupid to do that to myself twice." She stated. "It's just Hogwarts and I all-ready get detention all the time these days."

"But." Peter hoplessly tried to say as he was left behind watching her walk away.

* * *

New years eve and Lily was ready to move out, she had the marauders map.. they had all stayed up late to celebrate the new year as good as they could, but now the Marauders had all gotten to bed, Lily was alone, as she wished for. Slowly she descended the stairs down to the common room, and from there she was headed towards the portrait. Before suddenly she was stopped, a slight movement in the shadows, Lily turned around and her eyes widened, as suddenly Peter stood there, pale in the darkness looking wide-eyed at her.

"You are going after Crouch." He whispered. "No you can't."

Lily groaned. "Clearly I can, you don't like this sort of thing, so why don't you stay behind?" she asked turning around.

"Lily no! You can't go!" Peter exclaimed.

"Watch me." Lily stated opening the portrait hole but was surprised by a genuine assault as Peter knocked her away.

"NO!" Peter exclaimed. "You can't go there!" he stated blocking the exit.

Lily, was honestly surprised by that turn of events, to be so harshly knocked aside by Peter.. She couldn't remember ever having been that surprised.. well that time Sev suddenly started crying, it seemed so long ago now, and then had been so changed after-wards. She looked at Peter in a frown as she tried to re-collect this. "Why ever not?" she asked.

"Because… because.." Peter gulped and then he closed his eyes. "Because it's a trap." He finally exhaled and as he opened his eyes they were wet for tears. "A very obvious trap. And you are walking right into it!" his voice broke.

"How can you be sure?" Lily asked. "I got to explore all possibilities." She stated. "Beside I'll be care-full, I promise."

"No I wont let you go!" Peter exclaimed still spreading his arms out blocking the exit to the best of his abilities.

Lily gritted her teethes starting to get annoyed and finally raised her wand. "I don't want to fight you on this, but if I have to do it I will." She stated. "And we both know whom is going to win." She stated. "I am not looking for a fight, I am not going to fight Crouch, all I want to find out is what he is up to so we can stop it before some-thing really bad happens, again." she stated.

"If you go some-thing bad _will _happen!" Peter exclaimed. "Just don't do it!"

Now Lily was through listening and reasoning, she didn't want to hex Peter so she started walking towards him, intending to simply push herself through.

But the boy kept his stand, "Lily listen to me!" Peter exclaimed. "You-know-who himself is waiting for you up there! The only thing he is afraid of now is Snape, and the only lead he has is _you. _He came personally for you this time!"

Lily halted.. Either Peter was desperate enough to come up with such a big lie.. or it had to be the truth, slowly she lowered her wand. "How do you know that?" she at last asked.

"I.. I.." Peter nervously fidgeted.

"If you can't give me an answer I'm going." Lily stated sternly raising her wand ones more, and suddenly Peter just burst out in tears.

"I helped planning it! I knew you would follow up on such a clue and I knew you would come alone." Peter cried in big sobs. "Crouch wanted a way and I gave it to him. I didn't mean to! You-know-who.. Lily if you don't give him what he wants, he could very well ending up killing you! You're muggle-born!" he cried as he fell down on his knee.

Lily blinked. "Why.. why would you do such a thing?" she asked confusion welling up in her.

"That's not all I did." Peter sobbed as he fell to his knees, now seemingly it all bursting out of him at ones. "The sabotaged brooms, that was me." He cried. "The explosions above the old phoenix fighter room.. I was the one whom told them when you were going to the astronomy tower!" With each admission his cries became louder and louder. "I didn't mean to! I didn't!" he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "But I just didn't know what to do! I was being a big coward, as usual!" he cried.

"You did." Lily whispered barely able to comprehend. "But.. why?" she asked.

In his sobs at last Peter managed to catch some air. "Remember last March? At the Lerstrange manor.. when… when.. Penelope died?" he asked.

"Yeah.. we all managed to escape." Lily whispered.

Peter shook his head. "I didn't." he whispered. "They caught me. You-know-who.. He caught me and he exposed me."

Lily blinked stunned. "They.. Peter how did you get away from that?" she asked, she herself starting to feel a tear inside of her coming out.

"I didn't." Peter sobbed even harder. "You-know-who was furious.. He was more than furious, he cruciated his death-eaters left and right, he cruciated me.. And then he gave me a choice."

"A choice." Lily asked in a hollow voice. "Peter what choice?" she asked before her voice became louder. "_Tell me_, what kind of deal did you make?!" she asked in a loud voice.

"Either he would kill me at ones." Peter sobbed his shameful admission. "And I don't want to die, is that so wrong?" he asked in a cry. "Or.." slowly Peter lifted a hand to his sleeve, and then he pulled it back, to reveal a black mark of a grinning skull and its snake tounge.

It was like all fire left Lily by the sight of that mark, branded on Peters pale skin, like all air was knocked out of her and inside of her there was nothing left but rotting emptiness. "Oh god Peter." Lily fell down on her knee trying to comprehend what she saw.

"I'm so sorry!" Peter cried as the tears fell down his face. "I am so sorry!" he cried.

"All of this time." Lily swallowed. "Peter you could have told, we could have helped you."

"No you couldn't." Peter shook his head. "You don't understand. Ones you have this." He raised his arm so the mark was fully exposed. "There is nothing you can do! You-know-who he." Peter swallowed. "He can hurt you through the mark, torture you even though you are on the other side on the globe, call you, he can even kill you through it.. And there is no lying to him, he reads minds! In every meaning of the word he _owns_ you." He sobbed. "The next time either one of us sees him he'll read our mind, neither of us will be able to occlude, and he'll know!" Peter tried to explain in a desperate voice. "He'll know that I told you!" he cried. "When I first came back to Hogwarts.. I tried to keep my distance, I did.. But I couldn't.. When you went away to that werewolf place, I couldn't tell crouch he would go to the death-eaters, but I couldn't not tell him either, then he would hurt me. So I did the best that I could so he would think you were still at school.. And now I don't know what to do! I don't want to kill any-one.. I don't want to be the reason _you _died, in fact, I don't want any-one to die at all!"

"Peter." Lily at last shook her head as tears started falling down her eyes as well, and slowly she crawled towards him, to at last embrace the crying Peter. "I'm sorry to.. I'm so sorry." She cried with him as she held him, let him cry in her arms.

"I didn't want to do any of it." Peter sobbed in her robe. "But I am just a coward.. like always."

"You conscious won over in the end." Lily told rocking him. "That's what matters, and what you are going to do now.."

"There is no now." Peter tried to explain between his cries. "When you don't show up, you-know-who will call me.. he'll read my mind and he'll know.. Lily you have to hide, the only reason he did it like this was so you wouldn't try to run.. He'll just go to your dorm now, he owns the school. You _need_ to hide."

"All-right I hide, but you have to go with me." Lily told.

"If I don't meet up I am dead for sure." Peter shook his head.

"There must be some-thing we can do!" Lily exclaimed now also crying as the desperation got to her. "_Any-thing!_"

"You just have to hide." Peter told her. "I'm.." his voice broke ones more. "I find some-thing out."

Lily looked at him, trying to blink away her own tears.. suddenly it was all so real.. Peter could be dead in a few hours if they didn't come up with some-thing, and so could she. "What about the others?" she asked. "Don't you think they could come up with a solution?" she asked.

Peter shook his head. "No one can." He swallowed.

"No _no no no_." Lily shook her head. "I wont allow it! There has to be some way, there has to be Peter." Lily bit her lip, and then just kept holding him as she thought, thought as had as could, desperate for the slightest little bit of trickery, then suddenly her eyes opened wide. "Peter! I got it! " Lily exclaimed, making Peter almost jump in fright. "You can turn into a rat!"

Peter nodded closing his eyes.

"Don't you see? voldemort owns all human beings whom bears his mark, but does he own a rat?" She asked.

Peter looked up. "You mean?" he asked.

Lily nodded. "Transform into a rat." She stated. "And… stay that way."

Peter swallowed, then nodded. "It's worth a shot." He whispered.

Then there was nothing to say, they sat in front of each other on the floor in silence. "How long before he calls you?" Lily asked Peter.

"An hour maybe less." Peter responded.

"So then you'll have to try an transform into a rat, to see if it works on rats.. and if it doesn't…" Lily whispered.

"Stay here and die or go to him and.. I don't know what." Peter whispered. "Then he'll come for you, you have to hide."

"I know where to hide." Lily assured. "What do you want to do? You only have an hour." She asked.

"I.." Peter closed his eyes as he took a deep, swallowing, his entire body was shaking as he finally silently spoke. "I need to tell the others." He finally whispered. "But I don't know if I can."

Lily without hesitation reached out and grasped Peters hand. "I help you." She told. "It's very brave of you to go up there and tell them."

Peter closed his eyes and nodded.

At first the Marauders hadn't been happy about being thrown out of bed, but just one glance upon Lily and Peters faces told them enough.

And Peter told every-thing, ones again.. with added extra admissions, that his guilt had only grown as time passed by this year, some-times when he couldn't continue Lily filled in the gaps of what had technically happened, and what a pickle Peter now truly was in.

And at last Peter sat back on his bed ledge, taking a deep sigh.

"So." James looked at him with very serious eyes. "What will you do if the rat thing doesn't work?" he asked.

"I didn't know before." Peter whispered a little silently. "But now I am sure.. I wont go back." He told. "Thank you for not getting mad.." he whispered. "I know what I did isn't… isn't.."

"Peter you just sacrificed your life for mine." Lily told. "That's very brave, of cause I wont be mad. You slipped up.. there's some-one else I know whom slipped up, even worse than you." She closed her eyes and for a second the picture of a thin tall man with long raven her flashed for her eyes. "But he earned his second chance, I don't see why you didn't."

"Bloody hell." James whispered slipping a hand through his hair. "Even if the rat thing does work, you could end up being a rat for a very long time. Who knows when Voldemort will be defeated?"

"At least Pete is portable." Sirius sighed. "Imagine if he was a stag like you. Or a cow.."

James sighed un-amused by Sirius's tacky comment.

"I don't regret it, telling I mean." Peter told sounding surprised with his own words. "I thought I would, but I don't.. I wish I had told earlier.. or never taken the mark in the first place.. yeah, I wish."

"I don't blame you." Remus told his tone saying what needed to be said, he knew what it was like keeping dangerous secrets.

"I should never have taken the mark." Peter muttered defeated still.

"No, that is our fault, we left you there, and we left you in that mess." James told, we failed you the moment you needed us. "I am so sorry Peter, I was a lousy leader that night."

Lily's hand squeezed Peters shoulder, agreeing with James's words.

Remus nodded. "This is every-bodies mess it seems." He told.

"As usual, the Marauders will prevail in the end." Sirius told. "Every single one of us, I promise Peter."

"Thank you." Peter whispered. "You really are.." he was lost for words and looked down. "I really do appreciate it." He finally said, when suddenly he gasped.

"Peter what is it?" Lily exclaimed.

"Better start getting to that hiding place." Peter hissed grabbing his arm. "He's calling me, and he's not happy." He stated. "Guys." He finally looked at the Marauders forcing a little smile. "Take care.." and suddenly he shrank, almost vanished, as he became a little rat, which still squeecked in pain and rolled around.

"Oh god!" Lily sprang towards the rat that squeaked and retrieved. "It's not working!"

"Shit!" James sprung up. "Peter just transform back and get over to Voldemort!"

"_I'm with Prongs_!" Sirius exclaimed looking worried on the little rat that squeecked and squicked, rolling around in obvious cramps and obvious pains. But still it did not transform back.

"For god's sake Peter!" Remus at last exclaimed in a hoars voice. "Transform back!" he stated, but still the rat didn't, instead it just squeaked even louder in pain, and then released one big squeck so loud it forced Lily to cover her ears, before he suddenly grew limb on the bed spread, and didn't move.

"Peter?" Lily asked unsure. "God no, Peter." She neared the rat, very carefully… and it laid absolutely still, not moving a muscle, "Peter I." Lily whispered again trying to blink away a pressing tear as she neared the rat, sprawled over the be cover not moving at all, only for it to suddenly turn around and look up at her with two watery eyes. "Argh!" Lily fell back in shock and landed on the floor. "Peter you are alive!" she exclaimed starred wide-eyed and shocked at him.

The little rat squeaked in response as it looked up at her with triumphant eyes.

"And you need to hide if you are going to stay alive!" James exclaimed. "Here take him!" he picked up Peter without much hesitation and handed him to Lily. "And come on!" he grabbed Lilys wrist and pulled her with him, down towards the common room and through the portrait whole, he made around three turns in the hall-ways before he finally reached the right wall, tapped the stones in the correct order and pushed Lily inside. "Stay here." James told Lily very seriously. "Either I, Sirius, Remus or Diane will come tomorrow with some food and blankets, what-ever you need, and we'll also see if we can re-locate to another room, but I really need to get back. Just stay."

Lily nodded wide-eyed as she held the rat close in her hands. "Got it." She told. "And I promise." She managed to cut James short. "I wont make any surprises, I know I have to stay here right now." And James left, closing the wall behind him, leaving Lily in utter darkness as she held on to a rat.

"Well.. I suppose this had to happen sooner or later.." Lily whispered. "I mean, me having to hide, not you… you know." She whispered to Peter. "I'm so sorry.." she at last said. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this.

The little rat how-ever, didn't respond, maybe it was because he couldn't without human languet.. maybe he was to embarrassed.. or maybe he was just tired, Lily seriously didn't know, it was just how she herself felt at the moment.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Regulus asked as he tried to get through the bitter snow getting into his face, flushing his cheeks. It was snowing and it was storming, it was dark outside and Regulus's teethes clappered, he had no idea how long time they had walked, perhaps a week since Christmas perhaps even more, the only thing getting him going at this point was Severus's promise that they would soon be there, as in today, all though.. he didn't even know if it was today any-longer, it was to dark.

Severus how-ever didn't respond as his mouth was nothing but a thin line and he carried the frozen Evelyn as good as he could on his back, the little child clinging to his neck, but even that looked like a strain for her.

"Severus please!" Regulus exclaimed. "We have walked for the entire day! Think of Evelyn, she is turning blue!" he exclaimed.

"We are almost there!" Severus growled and yet it could easily be heard over the snow. "We are going to one of the roundabout points of the order of the phoenix, there we'll call upon the secret keeper from the place we are really headed so we can be invited in, and then floo." he stated.

"That all sounds very well and good, but how long before we are out of the snow?" Regulus asked hopelessly.

"There!" Severus pointed in front of him.

Regulus squinted his eyes, and he had to squint really hard, but then at last he realised, there was a small light some-where in front of them, Regulus kept his eyes on that light, only to realise it was several small lights, and at last.. he realised. They were windows!

Regulus breathed by the sight and suddenly got that bit more strength to continue.

It still felt so long though, and Regulus's was ready to swear even his hair was turning blue as they at last finally reached the door and Severus hammered heavily on it.

"Hold it, hold it!" sounded a voice from the inside which Regulus thought sounded veaguely familiar, but he really couldn't bother to remember where he had heard it before. "Who goes there?"

"Severus Snape!" Severus yelled.

"Tell me three things only Severus Snape and I would know." Arthur yelled back a usual precaution.

"Arthur we are freezing to death out here." Severus hissed. "I got a little kid with me!"

"I got three kids in here, never hurt to be sure." Arthur responded flatly.

"Argh! For most of the time you knew me you thought I was a german ministry worker by the name of Johan Stewart, Lola was my partner by the order of phoenix, she's an parrot animagus quite deservingly so. And Dumbledore tried to make me eat lemon shebert the last time all three of us were at the same meeting, before his death, now would you PLEASE let me in?" he asked Severus growled.

At ones the door was opened wide and a red-haired man looked wide-eyed at them, Severus wasn't exactly in his most polite patient behaviour though so he stepped right past Arthur Weasly and into the living room where he got Evelyn of his back.

Regulus stepped in a little more hesitant, yet still quickly for he was freezing. "Ha-ha-hallo again si-si-si-sir." He clappered with his teethes.

"My goodness!" suddenly a red-haired woman was standing in the door. "You look frozen to death! Come into the living room where there is a fire, oh dear is that a little girl?" she asked bowing down towards Evelyn, whom was clearly both to tired and cold to really refuse, only vaguely did she grap Severus's cloak as she always did, and in a groggy voice barely asked.

"Mom?"

"Not yet I'm afraid." Severus responded and gently pushed Evelyn away from himself and towards Mrs. Weasly whom stood ready for the child with open arms.

"No sorry dear, but I'll do what I can to get you warm and cosy, dearest you are cold as ice!" The woman exclaimed as she took Evelyn and carried her up. "Would you like some-thing to eat? Drink? I got home-made cookies! Or how about some nice hot chocolate? tea?" she blabbered as she carried the drowsy Evelyn away.

"Sleep." Was the only thing Evelyn managed to get over her broken lips.

As Regulus shyly entered the living room Evelyn had all-ready been tugged in in what looked like a couple of blankets laying in the sofa just in front of the roaring fireplace, carefully Regulus sat beside the exhausted child and placed an assuring hand on the little werewolf whom was laying with closed eyes, but didn't breath heavy enough to be sleeping just yet, chances were she was indeed exhausted, but cold.

"How about you young man?" Mrs. Weasly asked. "Some-thing to drink dearest?"

Regulus stood up to stand politely in front of her as he bowed his head in greeting. "Thank you that would be very nice Mrs. Weasly, if you have some tea it would be most welcome." He told in a polite voice.

"Of cause, now you just sit tight and I'll be back in a minute, don't move!" Mrs. Weasly stated as she hurried for the kitchen.

Regulus blinked as he saw her hurry away to make the tea. "What a nice woman." He whispered astounded remembering how all women acted in his own family, not like that at all. James's mother had been a bit like that in the summer vacation, but not entirely.

"Are you sure it was safe coming here, no one followed you?" Mr. Weasly asked in a conversation with Severus as they entered the living room.

"Of cause I did, I would not compromise such an important order base." Severus rolled his eyes. "But we needed your fireplace, and your contacts."

"Sorry." Regulus blinked. "What is this a base for?" he asked. "What is the order of phoenix? Some kind of organised fight against you-know-who isn't it?" he asked.

"The less you know the better Regulus Black!" Severus snapped.

"But I am going to be able to guess quit a lot on my own now any-way." Regulus pointed out. "Wouldn't it be better to just tell me than having me running around guessing?" he asked. "Severus you said I am very high on you-know-who's hit list, I deserve to know so I can use what-ever I have to survive."

"Oh so you are Regulus Black!" Mrs. Weasly regarded as she came back balancing a tray with a tea pot, tea mugs and a whole plate of what smelled like warm chocolate chip cookies.

At ones Regulus sprung to her head and stabilized the tray for her, before they together got it down on the sofa table.

"What a polite young man." She cheered ones again.

"I was always taught to be polite when in company." Regulus blushed deeply refraining from the fact he had just been taught to be polite to other old families, not supposed blood-traitors. "My best friend taught me it doesn't matter what kind of company, you should always be polite."

"Sounds like a delightful friend." Mrs. Weasly cheered. "Now sit down dear, sit down! Take a blanket, you look so cold."

"Thank you mam." Regulus bowed his head at her before he sat down, reaching for a blanket looking at Severus. "The order of phoenix?" he asked ones again.

"Very well then." Severus sighed as he sat down in a arm-chair, resting his arm on the arm rest. "As the dark lord rose to power Dumbledore was one of the firsts to oppose, when the dark lord took over Dumbledore formed a secret service of wizards to fight organized in secret, the order of phoenix, we have done several things, fought and infilitrated death eaters, kept up with the ministry, gathered information, organized ourselves." Severus snapped. "One of the things we have done is trying to smuggle muggleborns out of the country." He stated. "We set up houses and put a secret keeper on them so they can hide in peace in there. Evelyns mother is as you know, mother of a werewolf, she is also a half-blood, which makes her a target and we managed to remove her to one of those remote locations."

"And you know which one?" Regulus asked.

"There is one specific location we have for all families whom lacks a child and childrens whom lack families, the idea is that if we place those at the same place they can find each other and move on together, I should imagine she would be there." Severus cleared her throat. "I sort of promised to do all that I could to find Evelyn."

"I see." Regulus nodded holding a hand on Evelyn whom was now clearly fast a sleep. "But why.. isn't she with her mother yet?"

"Evelyn begged me not to take her to her mother. I had a hard time refusing." Severus at last confessed.

You could just see how Mrs. Weaslys eyes melted towards the little girl, and she had to keep herself back from going over there to cuddle the little blond some more.

"Then we better get a hold on where she is quick as possible don't we?" Regulus asked.

"Who's the secret keeper of the house?" Severus solemnly asked Arthur.. "And do you have an owl I can send?"

"Well, the lad should know of her, a certain Andromeda Tonks." Mr. Weasly told making Regulus blink stunned.

"She married a muggle-born and has a little half-blood kid, so it seemed logic for them to be the protector of the house and stay there." Mr. Weasly continued talking.

"Andromida…" Regulus whispered.

"You do know who she is don't you?" Mr. Weasly asked. "She used to be a Black."

"Oh I know, I remember when she married, mother was furious, she burned her off the family tree at ones." He cleared his throat. "Honestly, I and Andromida never talked that much, Sirius always seemed very fond of her how-ever, I erh." He cleared his throat ones again. "It'll be interesting to say hallo." He at last muttered feeling how his cheeks started to flush. Truth be told he hadn't seen Andromida since he was ten or some-thing, and he barely remembered her, other than Narcissas and Bellatrix's open disdain for their sister.. which he had been listening to for many years. According to their words Andromida was a fifthly, bad tasted pig.. kind of the same words they would use against Lieve if Regulus had to be honest, which was a strange comfort that actually worked on his nerves, it meant they were wrong.

"So can we lend your fire-place?" Severus asked a little impatiently.

"But it's so late, can't it wait?" Molly asked her eyes going to Evelyn. "the little one needs a long nights un-disturbed sleep, and then I will make a good break-fast in the morning, look at how skinny she is, she needs feeding up well."

"Werewolves tends to be that way." Severus rolled his eyes, how-ever, those words only made. Mrs. Weasly melt right on the spot.

"The poor dear." She sighed heavily miracoulys finding another blanket to lay over Evelyn and tug her in good.

"A werewolf?" Arthur Weasly stood a bit back. "Molly, we have our own baby resting up-stairs!" he barely whispered.

Molly bit her lip, but kept on tugging in.

Regulus sighed as he shook his head. "It's all-right mam, I've been with Evelyn for a while, as long as it's not full-moon, she's just like any other kid. And it was full-moon last week, so there'll be a long time before any-thing like that happens again." He told. "She has a bit of an attitude problem, but that's it." He told. "And that is probably because.." he didn't need to say more. "She just wants to see her mother again." He stated at last.

* * *

Lily was still awake in the dark, she thought she could hear the big clock ring twelve, midnight. "Well, happy new year I guess." Lily muttered to herself, finally deciding she probably wouldn't be able to sleep, so a little light wouldn't hurt. "Lumos." She finally whispered and the room was bathed in light. She felt some-thing moving, Unsure Lily looked on her hand where she was still holding Peter, and now she could see, he was very much awake, even looking directly at her. One thing was to hold a rat, an animal, you could be a little rough with some-thing like that, but to know it was in reality a human being she was holding. "I erh.." Lily awkwardly hesitated. "Am going to put you down now and erh.. don't even try to turn back, it's not worth the risk." She muttered putting Peter down on the stone floor.

"Don't worry, we'll defeat Voldemort before long… then you can become a human again."

Even in rat form Peter still tried to cover his ears with his tiny paws and gave a weird sort of squinting noise.

"Sorry." Lily muttered as she leaned back against the wall trying to wipe her eyes. "God." She sniffed. "What I wouldn't do for just a tiny bit of good thing to happen, come on it's new year! Give me a sign there'll be good things in the next year please!" She cried. "But bad luck just seems to follow us every-where! What could possible be next?"

And as answer to Lily, suddenly the big mirror at the end of the dark hall-way started to move. "Oh god how could they have found us all-ready?" Lily asked as she stood up. "Peter quick hide!" Lily demanded as she stood up and the mirror finally moved aside, Lily didn't give who-ever was behind it, time to come out first. "_Exspeliarmus!_" and a jet of red flew in there, better safe than sorry.

"AUCH!" a voice howled in pain from the other side as a big crash indicated the person had fallen down. "What a pleasant welcome las." A voice with a very heavy accent ranted. "Here I am both cold, wet and hungry. Coming all the way on foot, in deep snow mind ye, just to see me good oll friends, and then I get a disarming spell right in me stomach. I mean, has this place really managed to go that much to the dogs while I've been gone? It hasn't been that long has it?"

Lily's eyes widened.. no it couldn't be.. that was impossible.. simply and utterly impossible.

And at last a head dared to carefully poke out while a hand still ruffled around in the abnormal bright orange hair as if this person had hit her head. "Who is it that's firing hex's like that all around the place?" Lieve O'hara muttered annoyed still rubbing her hair. "Tha is _not _very polite!" then her eyes finally found Lily and Lily looked wide-eyed back at her.

"Merlins beard." Lieve blinked at Lily. "Is that how you greet people back around here Lily?" She asked.

"Li..li..Lieve?" Lily asked.

"Aye, evening." Lieve bowed her head in a slight greeting. "Or is it night? It's well over Midnight aint it?" she asked, and then as if she couldn't hold it back a great smile spread on Lieves face and she hurried up to get to Lily and embraced her tightly. "I didn't count on running into any-one so quick!" she exclaimed almost crushing Lily in that tight hug.

"Where in the world did you come from?" Lily asked as she returned the friendly hug and took a step back., holding Lieve by the shoulders in a arms length, trying to take it all in? Was it a dream? The girl looked more shabby than Lily had ever seen her, the robe was worn out and dirty, her hair tangled and uncontrollable, yet her cheeks were deep red and Lieves smile was so big and genuine, it lithed up the entire room- "You.. you.." Lily to smiled wide. "You look great!" indeed the girl did, she looked amazing!

A little rat by her feet to gave a big squee in delight.

Lieve looked down. "And you've gotten a little wee friend." She commented with a lifted eye-brow as she bowed down to pick up the rat with careful hands. "What a fine specimen."

"_Careful!_" Lily exclaimed as Lieve had picked the rat up. "It's erh.. it's not exactly a rat." She told

"Sure looks like it, and rats are pretty hardcore creatures, they are survivors, so dinna worry." Lieve commented casually stroking the rat.

"It's Peter." Lily finally explained pointing at the rat. "Peter is a rat."

That made Lieve freeze mid motion as her eyes widened ands he looked at the rat again. "Ye are pulling me leg." And in response Peter himself shook his head. Then Lieve looked up. "Is it safe to say ye need to fill me in?" she asked.

"Right back at you." Lily told before she silenced. "Is.. is Regulus with you?" she asked nervously.

"We split up a while back." Lieve sighed. "He's with Severus right now."

"He _what?_" Lily asked wide-eyed as her mouth gaped, and she looked disbelieving at Lieve, ones again trying just to comprehend what had happened.

"Oh aye! We found Severus!" Lieve told. "And he's in good health, a wee bit grummy and a wee bit sullen, but in good health and believe me he misses ya! It's only three days since I left em!"

Lily blinked. "Three days?" she asked. "Oh Lieve that's wonderful! Thank-you! Thank you so much!" she dragged the girl into another hug. "He really is all-right! Thank god!" she grinned as she hugged the girl yet again. "You're all all-right! This may just be a great new-year after all!" she stated.

* * *

_Happy new year every-body, lets wrap this baby in this year! _


	63. A good beginning of the year

In the morning Regulus awoke to the strong smell of coffee and bacon, it made his stomach twist and turn as he realised how hungry he was.

For the first time in a long time, he woke up feeling warm and dry, and he was suddenly trapped in the big dilemma of wanting to just stay in that warm drowsy position for-ever, or get up to find out where that delicious bacon smell came from. Never before had he felt so torned.

But at last the sheer hunger won over as his stomach protested and he opened his eyes to be faced with a wooden panel over him, and a room unlike what he had grown up with, no big bed with drapes, no ornaments, but just simple and pleasant, for a confusing moment he thought he was back at the O'Hara farm, but then realised what had happened last night, and he swallowed as he swung his legs of the bed, to his left on the chair was placed some clothing.. none of his own, all of his own had become very dirty a very long time ago.

This set of wizard clothes looked rather worn out, in brown damped colours.. but it was warm and dry, and no longer was Regulus a person to complain over such a thing.

Slowly he descended the stairs, he heard voice and slowly walked towards them before suddenly he found himself in the big kitchen and in it standing several people, Molly fretting over a frying pan, Arthur sitting by the table with a little red-haired baby boy that he was feeding, the other older boys managing themselves pretty will and Severus standing up talking to..

Regulus blinked, for a minor moment he thought Bellatrix was standing in the house, but then he blinked and realised, this individual was completely lacking the arrogant air Bellatrix had all around her, and any kind of fancy dress, she was wearing a very practical looking robe Bellatrix wouldn't have been caught dead in, her eyes were warm and her features some-how more appealing than Bellatrix, in spite of Bellatrix's obvious beauty.

"Aunt Andromeda?" Regulus questioned.

Andromeda turned around and her eyes felt on Regulus. "Regulus!" She beamed. "So long since I saw you, my you've grown! What a surprise you turned out to be, what a surprise." She stepped towards him and looked up at him giving him an assuring smile. "I am so proud of you."

Regulus bit his lip. "It's nothing." He mumbled embarrassed.

"Welcome to the good side of the family." Andromeda welcomed him warmly.

"Dearest, not the fingers." Molly instructed Evelyn by the table whom was swallowing bacon, stuffing it in her mouth with her hands. "Use the knife and fork, see." Mrs. Weasly kindly showed Evelyn whom only very hesitantly eyed the silvewear laid before her. "Look at Charlie here, he can show you how." She chipped at a little young boy around the same age as Evelyn whom was eating very politely with his knife and fork.

Evelyn send the boy a sullen glare, but then looked up at Molly, and then Severus before tryingly trying to make use of the fork and knife.. which ended up being a very clumsy try indeed, Evelyn seemed very frustrated and just wanting to grab the food with her fingers ones again.

"Come sit down." Mrs. Weasly invited Regulus. "Sit, sit down."

"Thank you." Regulus politely responded and with straight back took a seat in front of Evelyn, carefully picking up from the plate with the fork, and cut out with the fork while with practised grace eating the small pieces as he cut out. Through-out this whole procedure Evelyns eyes had followed him every step of the way and she made a good show out of copying, but ones again it all became very clumsy and in a fit of frustration Evelyn very quickly used her fingers to stuff in a piece of bacon ones more.

"That's disgusting!" a little voice sounded behind the table. Regulus had to bow a bit back-wards before finally he saw another kid standing there, this time a little girl, also around Evelyns age.. but what really caught Regulus off guard, was the green hair this kid had. "Your fingers are all greasy now." The little girl wrinkled her nose.

"_Nymphodora_." Andromeda scolded the little kid. "Behave, it's not Evelyns fault that she's been at some rough places. What she needs now is some understanding not being pointed at." And in response Evelyn pointed tongue of the little green-haired kid whom wringed the face back.

"But mom!" the little green haired kid responded. "She's pointing tounge at me, you are not allowed to do that." She pointed at Evelyn.

"Neither am I allowed to punch your nose." Evelyn hissed back. "Are you going to stop me?"

"_Evelyn!" _this time it was Mrs. Molly whom scolded. "What would your mother say?" she asked in a warning voice.

Evelyn grew silent, then looked down on the table. "Not to attract attention to myself." She muttered silently.

"Well for you that may be important to." Molly sighed. "But always, it's just not right to punch people." She stated. "We do not punch any-one, it's not what a civilised person does."

"It's not?" Evelyn asked. "They did it all the time back at Fenrirs.."

"No it's not right, and it's not right they did it either." Molly stated. "Now apologies to Nymphodora." She demanded. "Probably."

Evelyn sighed as she crawled down the chair and finally stood in front of the Nymphodora. "Sorry I said I would punch you." She muttered before whispering so none of the adults could hear her. "I could still beat you any-day!" she almost sneered.

"It's all-right." Nymphodora responded loudly for the adults to hear, before she replied in low voice. "Yeah right, I beat up boys bigger than me every-day,"

"So?" Evelyn asked with a lifted eye-brow.

Nymphodora hissed. "You think you're so great blondie. You can't even use a fork, I learned that ages ago."

"I can to!" Evelyn exclaimed. "Of cause I can." She flushed embarrassed. "Brat." She muttered sourly. "Mama's girl!" she hissed.

"My mom has nothing to do with this!" Nymphodora suddenly hissed as her hair turned scarlet red in the process as she heightened her hands ready to a fist fight.

Evelyns eyes how-ever had turned wide by the colour change. "How did you do that?" she asked astounded.

"Metamorphus, like my dad." Nymphodora grinned. "I can change what-ever I like." She stated and suddenly her hair was long and blond just like Evelyns, a scar appeard down Nymphodoras cheek being the same as Evelyns to, before the scar just vanished out into nothing leaving only smooth skin, and her hair turned black and curled, before at last finding it's green prior state again. "Impressed?" she asked in a satisfied smirk.

Evelyn gaped, before she at last shook her head and sneered. "No." she stated with crossed arms looking away. "I don't see how that would stop me punching your nose.."

"It's so nice seeing the children getting along isn't it?" Molly meanwhile chatted to Andromeda blind to the fight that was taking place out of sight on the other side of the table

Regulus how-ever scratched his ears and hoped the girls were both smart enough not to start a real fight while there was so many grown-ups in the room, and they weren't, eventually Evelyn crawled back up on the chair more determinedly than ever trying to use the silverwear, scorned by Nymphodoras comments, but it was clear that fight wasn't over if Evelyn had a say in it.

"Eat up." Severus demanded. "We'll be going as soon as break-fast is over." He told. "Andromeda here is just going to reveal the address to us and we'll floo to Wales."

"She's not going with us is she?" Evelyn asked in a hopeless voice pointing at Nymphodora.

"It's her mother whom is the protecter of that place." Severus stated in a snort immediately making Evelyn silence, what-ever Severus said she would follow and by any sign of his dis-pleasure she would retrieve, but still.. as soon as Severus had turned away, Evelyn managed to send a glare at the green-haired girl. Whom send a glare straight back at her.

* * *

James sighed, early morning he tried to sneak back to where he hid Lily, at that old tower with the mirror passageway to get out if she needed to escape for real.

With each step he had to make sure that he wasn't being followed, Sirius was a good way behind him and Remus last, if they came separately they wouldn't attracts as much attention was what they had agreed.

James sighed dreading what he would find, a gloomy Lily.. a sad Lily no doubt, James was sad. Another corpse into his closet, they were damn lucky that Peter had found a solution, but now their friend was trapped as a rat for god knows how long, and it could all be traced back to James's mistake, he took a deep breath and prepared himself to see what laid beyond the wall when suddenly he halted, a strange sound came from the other side of the wall, it sounded kind of like.. laughter?

What was happening? Had Lily finally snapped? Worried James stepped through and stopped op as he was met by the sight of not one, but two red-haired girls.

James robbed his eyes and blinked, trying to make sure he didn't see double, he tried to find out what was so weird about this picture, but couldn't come to any conclusion.

Then at last one of the red-haired girls, the one with the brightest hair turned around and send him a flashing grin. "JAMES YA SOD!" she yelled loudly be the sight of him.

Then it hit James and he dropped his food basket by the realisation so the food spilled out all over the floor, but he didn't have much more time to think about it before he was the victim of a crushing hug from a certain Irish.

"It's so good to see ya!" and she let go again standing in front of him with a big wide grin on her face, James still hadn't comprehended a thing, with one finger he poked at Lieve, as if just to make sure she was real and solid, not just an hallucination.

She bounced a little bit back and then ford again before she amused shook her head sighing more quietly. "I'll give ye a minute, is that food? I am starving!" she stated bowing down to grab an apple.

"The guys are never going to believe this, no one is." James whispered in a stunned voice.

"Where are they?" Lieve asked.

"On their way." James told as he blinked.

A mischievous glint came in Lieves eyes as she stepped up beside the door, putting a finger against her lip indicating silence as she took an bite out of an apple, and then just stood there, waiting till the next one stepped through the room, whom was Sirius, he never saw it coming, he barely got to step into the room before Lieve attacked him from behind and covered his eyes with her hands. "Prongs! Not in the mood right now!" Sirius stated loudly.

"Urh Sirius, I am in front of you." James told.

"And so am I." Lily told as a rat squecked from the floor.

"Then who?" Sirius asked. "It's not Diane is it? Cause that would be weird."

At last, James started to chuckle. "Of cause it isn't!" he stated as Lieve behind Sirius also began to chuckle.

"Then who is it?" Sirius asked now also sounding intrigued. "Who is playing around with oll paddy?"

Just at that time Remus stepped into the room and he paled by the sight, wide-eyed he looked up at Lieve as his mouth dropped open and he dropped the food-basket he had been carrying so the breads and chocolate fell across the floor, but Remus didn't seem to notice, as he just continued starring, Lieves head turned around and she smiled a welcoming smile at him, and gently lifted a finger to her lips, ones again indicating silence.

"Believe me." James told Sirius in a laugh. "You are never going to guess."

"Am I going to be happy?" Sirius asked in a smirk.

"Yeah, I think so." James smirked.

Remus still didn't say a word but still just looked so wide-eyed at Lieve.

"Remus you ought to close your mouth, that look nayte suits you." Lieve at last told making Remus's mouth close tight.

"Wait." Sirius halted. "No, that's not possible.. is it?.. I mean."

And in response Lieve let go to hug him as she laughed out loud, almost hauled in sheer laughter, Sirius's eyes widened, but it didn't take long for him to crush her in a hug and ruffle up her hair. "I don't believe it!" he laughed loudly. "Prongs look at this!" he exclaimed holding Lieve out in front of him by holding both her shoulders. "No that can't be Lieve, this sod is way to pretty to be Lieve." He laughed looking her over.

"No." Remus barely whispered, and it was only James whom could hear him. "She always looked like that." He said though his voice sounded hoarser than usual.

Lieve laughed hard as Sirius gave her one last crush before he let go and started looking around. "Where's Regulus?" he asked.

"Oh." Lieve silenced. "He.. is not coming, he is fine! He was in good mood when I left him three days ago." She then assured. "He's just keeping an eye on Severus right now." She told.

The disappointment in Sirius's eyes were only to evident but then it only took that long for Remus to step in with a hoarse voice. "Where have you been?" he asked Lieve. "What have you been doing?" he asked.

"It'll take a long time to tell." Lieve told. "Took me all night just to tell Lily it seems, but come on come! Sit down!" she invited all of them. "I tell all that I can! I promise!"

And she made a point out of telling every important detail, about the horecrux, about the ministry, she pulled back her hair revealing her little secret, and told blankly that there was a little bit of troll inside of her, making Sirius blink, James look confused and Remus down-right blush as he looked away looking a little embarrassed, she told of her weird Christmas, about her mother, that she was alive! She told about how brave Regulus had been all the time and how grumpy Severus was, and all was told with a smile and many laughs from her part.

"Got it now?" Lieve asked in a laugh.

"Urh.. I think so." Sirius groaned rubbing his forehead. "Why was your bloody ear important again?" he asked.

"Me grandmother is a forest troll, me dad half. See, troll!" she fully pointed at her ear for all to see. "No trick! And from now on, it'll never be a secret ever again!" Lieve told. "End of story, I'm part troll, and proud of it, done business!"

"Lieve I swear, had I know that, that." Sirius hopelessly had tried squirming out. "I wouldn't have said those things that often, about being dumb as a troll I mean."

"It's all-right, some trolls, particularly those in this country are pretty dumb, my family is from Norway though, the trolls there are way smarter." Had Lieve responded and moved on to their little adventure at the ministry.

It did end up taking a lot of time, but then she was finally done.

"You've sure been busy." Sirius commented. "It's only been two months right?" he asked.

"Seems like you've been quite busy to." Lieve told back. "I want to hear every-thing abou tha!"

"And we will tell you every-thing, I swear." James stated holding up a hand. "Every single little detail, no more secrets among the Marauders, that was our deal."

"Still." Sirius snorted. "She looks different! Havn't you guys noticed?"

Lieve looked confused at him.

"You do." Remus then at last told. "It's like.. you are not as.." he had a hard time putting words on it, Lieve still acted and sounded like Lieve, but the air around her had changed, she looked more secure, more at home within her own skin, not as wired up any-more, resting more in herself.

"What do you want to do now?" Lily then at last asked Lieve.

"I would like to continue school if it's all the same to you." Lieve told.

"Bad idea." James shook his head. "If the last time you were spotted were together with Severus, they'll come after you, it's better you stay hidden here with Lily."

"What?" Lieve asked as she gaped. "So I came all of this long way just to hide away in the hidden rooms of Hogwarts? Bloody hell!" she ranted.

"Njah." Lily shook her head. "I think you came all the way here to bring us some hope, lord knows we need it."

Lieve nodded smiling lightly. "Glad to be of service, and I want to know what happened here, Peter how did ya end up like that?" she asked looking down on the rat that sat in front of her knee before she looked up at the other again, yawned deeply and quite frankly looked very drowsy. "But I am dead tired, it'll have to wait, I don't want to fall a sleep while ye tell me, cause you are going to tell me." She demanded looking pointedly at each of them in turn. "Ya think at least I can make it to the Rawenclaw dorm and get a fresh set of clothes? I left quite a lot there, maybe it's still there."

"If you are careful." James told. "Lily I also found a better place for you to hide, not as drafty as this and kind of nice actually, come on with.. Lieve you don't have my invisibility cloak do you?" he asked.

"Sorry, Regulus have it." Lieve told apologetic. "It's dangerous where he is, I thought he may needed it a little bit more than us."

"Yeah it's fine, because it's true." James nodded. "Come on Paddy." He lead Lily whom had Peter on her shoulder and Sirius out of the room. "Lieve we'll get you later, it's better you don't return to school right away."

Lieve nodded as she saw them leave the room through the secret wall, and she herself got up on her feet's, brushing her old worn out cloak, but then suddenly, all of the sudden she became aware she was not alone in the room.

Suddenly Lieve and Remus found out… they were standing alone together in the room.. completely alone… almost like the others had deliberately left them to be like that.. A bit to much like that was the purpose, and now they just stood there in awkward silence.

Lieve looked up at Remus and he looked down at her, then Lieve send him an assuring smile as she caught his eye, it was enough to say every-thing, she was fine, with every-thing, in fact she was completely at ease with it all, an expression so foreign on her features, at least as long as Remus had known her, so he should be relieved it was just… just..

Remus exhaled. "Oh god, Lieve." he swallowed as he looked at her and then without thinking he drew her into an embrace, as to hold her close. "I thought we had lost you, when we didn't hear a thing.. Some-times I thought you had died, and I thought, I thought it was all my fault."

"Remus." Lieve blinked, and then returned the hug. "It was not your fault, not for a second I swear! And it all worked out in the end." she assured padding him on the back.

All though she was clearly surprised and thus stiff in his arms, Remus just held her, and Lieve.. she felt old feelings she had long since laid behind her surface again, but was determined not to give into them, no, Remus was just a good friend whom needed to know it was all all-right, and she didn't want to screw that up, no matter how warm and comforting his arms felt, how much she wanted to just lean into them. he gave her one last tight hug and then finally let go, embarrassed standing back.

Lieve sighed deeply feeling awkward after this.. quit frankly awkward moment. "Look, Remus." she looked up at him. "We need to talk."

Remus blinked. "Yes." he asked in a polite tone all though it was clear that he started to look nervous.

Lieve could only look hopelessly at him, and then she abashed looked down as she silently spoke. "I dinna really like playing tipping around the subject, if ye ask me it's more harm than good." Lieve then at last stated. "Second guessing all the time, it's just nayte healthy. Mostly, I just don't want to have to lie or play pretend, at least not to you."

"Erh." Suddenly Remus felt his throat run dry as he started twisting his hand behind his back. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"What I mean is." Lieve took a deep breath and then exhaled as she looked up at Remus and captures his eyes as she spoke in a steady secure voice. "Is that I know of your condition, and I want you to know that I know."

Remus was suddenly rigid as a board as he starred wide-eyed at Lieve, suddenly he was sweating like a man who had just run a marathon. "Condition? What condition?" he asked almost stammering, growing more and more nervous by the mili second so it would only be a question of time before he would hyperventilate.

Lieve couldn't help it, she held a hand to her mouth and tried to keep back her amused chuckle by that typical, absolutely typical Remus Lupin reaction, before she placed a calm hand on Remus's chest as to try and calm him down, and fortunately the gentle touch seemed to snap him out of it, some-what as he starred wide-eyed at Lieves hand so calmly resting on his chest and then at her. "Aye that condition, I know ye are a werewolf." she smirked amused looking him directly in his eyes that was now widened in shock and horror as if she would run screaming amok now. And that.. some-what hurt as she spoke quietly. "You really believe that I am that shallow?" Lieve had to ask. "Ya really think I would like you less because ye are a werewolf?" she asked in a clearly disappointed voice.

Remus's eyes bashed down on the ground as his cheeks took on a colour of flaming red. "How long have you known?" he at last mumbled.

"To be honest I had my suspicions every since I met ya." Lieve confessed in a equally good mumble. "I just dinna want to invade your privacy,, and then later I dinna want to believe ye would keep such a thing from me, after every-thing we've been through, after all those things ya said to me, about me being good enough and all, ya couldn't trust me?" she asked.

"That's not fair." Remus glanced up at her and slowly reached ford a hand to drag it behind her ear. "You didn't trust me either." He pointed out, but then retrieved his hand, as had he burned it on her, and looked down, as if he was genuinely ashamed.

"I'm sorry, I thought you would laugh at me, people usually do but.. I did trust ya now." Lieve pointed out. "I've decided to trust all of ya. Mostly I just want to be straight with _you_!" she exclaimed in a frustrated voice lounging out with her arms "And I just wish that for _once! _Just ones, you would be straight with me!" she stated in a strong tone looking Remus in the eyes. "I am sick of it Remus Lupin." She stated in a slightly angry voice poking him in the chest. "All the mixed signals, I don't want to have to lie or not be straight with the facts, ever again. But… I see the feeling aint mutual. I'm sorry if I invaded your privacy I just." She exhaled deeply. "Wanted ye to know that I know, that is all." She told silently. "And ya know." She dared to send him a slight smile. "Two half breeds, we could help each other ones in a while now."

Remus groaned exhausted as he tried to find words. "It's not even the same Lieve." Remus then tried to explain. "you're not.." he tried to explain. "You know."

"I am not _what_ Remus?" Lieve asked in a frown that grew more and more annoyed by the second.

"You wouldn't understand." Remus then at last muttered. "I wont expect you to. It's not your fault." He then at last muttered.

"So that's it?" Lieve asked sounding actually angry with him. "That's how highly ya think of me?" she asked. "I did hope I was better than that, but if ye say so." She stated in a annoyed tone crossing her arms while looking away.

Remus opened his mouth, but then closed again flushing deeply. "No Lieve.. it's just.." he flushed even deeper. "I don't know." he at last stated.

Lieve looked up at him her eyes looking hurt and angry by his words, before she abashed looked down. "Right." she then muttered beneath her breath. "Well, I am glad that you are all alright." She told. "I better.. I better go freshen up or some-thing, I need to change clothes this really stink.. a school uniform would be a good change.. yeah.." she turned around turning her back on Remus. "I guess I'll be seeing you around." She mumbled.

"Yeah… yeah.." Remus muttered also having run out of things to say.

"Yeah." Lieve then at last said and sighed deeply before she slowly but purposely walked to towards the secret wall, but as she reached the wall, she straightened up, suddenly she looked filled with purpose and security as she faced away from Remus. "I'll hope you'll be happy Remus." She finally told over the shoulder. "Just do yourself a favour next time you meet a sweet girl whom has a crush on you, _don't _send such mixed signals, especially when she's vulnerable, that was the most annoying thing at all, how are you supposed to know, when ya can't come straight out with it?" She asked looking over her shoulder. "

"Oh come on Lieve, you weren't vulnerable, I didn't take advantage.. did I?" Remus asked doubtfully.

"Remus Lupin my entire family was gone, of cause I was vulnerable." Lieve told. "I was alone, but now I'm not, I'm not one hundred percent okay but I am coping, and you were a sweet Crush Remus." She smiled veaguly and a little sweetly at him. "Could have been way worse if ye ask me, at least ye want to be a gentleman. Bye Remus, I'll be seeing ya around." She told and there was a certain glint in her eye, of knowledge and freedom.. she was free now, done and free as she turned her head back towards the door. To walk through it with straight proud back and it closed behind her, leaving Remus plenty alone in the room.. being the one looking small.

Remus exhaled looking at the door as Lieve had stepped through, only for another person to come straight back. "Forgot my robe." Lily told Remus before she looked straight up at him, with shining green eyes. "You are an idiot." She flat out stated.

"What?" Remus asked.

"I heard." Lily told sternly.

"What, every-thing?" Remus asked. "_Lily!_" he hissed.

"Naha, Remus now you listen to me!" Lily told sternly as she stood with crossed arms looking at him with shining stern green eyes. "As all guys seems to do around here, you just threw it all away on a wimp you moron!" she hissed and then pointed at the door. "Stuff like that doesn't necessarily happen again, and if you have any sense what-so ever in you, you are going to suck it up and go after her, _right now_." Lily demanded.

"I don't think.." Remus hesitated.

"It needs to be right now or it'll be to late, you are loosing your chance with every second! She's moved on you nimwit!" Lily stated sternly. "Remus.. you're my friend, and I only wish the best for you. She is my friend and I only wish the best for her." Lily then said in a much warmer tone. "That there was a miracle, we don't know how many of those will ever happen again, and I am green of envy right now." She stated. "What don't you think I would give?" she asked. "It's so wonderful. Tomorrow some-thing terrible could happen again, we don't know.

For all we know it's all over tomorrow. You don't have to go the Severus route of doing things, that's an idiot thing to do." Lily stated. "He is so captured in a past that doesn't even matter and you are so bloody stuck in the future you made up in your head. For gods sake, you are all so angry with me being in the moment, maybe that's because you are so stuck up in all the other times!"

"But what if it doesn't work out!" Remus blurted.

"Who the hell _cares_ if it doesn't work out later, didn't you listen to a word I said?" Lily asked sourly. "We don't know what happens tomorrow _all-right! _Or the day after that! Most probably it will suck and not because you happen to be a werewolf or Severus a time-traveller." Lily hissed. "Can't you grant yourself just a little happiness now while there's still time? Can't you grant _her_ that? She cares about you! A lot! And even more, you care about her you idiot." she stated before laying a hand on Remus's shoulder before looking him in the eyes. "Remus, stop worrying so much about the future that may or may not happen, stop being so captured in what you think will _maybe_ be a problem, this is not yesterday and it's not tomorrow, it is today, life a little wont you? You earned this, even more she earned this." Lily stated in a stern tone as her hand tightened around Remus's shoulder. "It's not about tomorrow, it's about right now! And if you don't go out there and get her now, you'll regret it, for trust me, some-one else will get her, soon! Did you see how she looked when she walked out of that door? It's now Remus, if you don't do it now… You wont get any-thing."

"Then she can probably find some-one better than me." Remus pointed out in a blurt.

"Yeah she probably can." Lily snorted, before she shook her head. "I was kidding." She then stated. "I know you don't believe me, but believe her, she wouldn't set her eyes on a idiot now would she?" Lily stepped even closer, a vague smile playing on his lips as he looked at Remus and softly spoke. "For Merlins sake just go. Don't let you or her be alone at a time like this!"

Still Remus was so hesitant, his mind and heart telling him two very different things, his urges putting him on that path.

"For ones, just do what you really want to.. that naughty feeling inside, you know you are not supposed to do it, but you want to." Lily whispered in a almost deductive whisper, if also a little teasing as she spoke, that just one single word, that just threw all logic aside. "Go."

And that was it, suddenly it was like Remus snapped out of it, suddenly it was like this single moment was so important, it was every-thing, it was now or never, he spoon around and ran for the door, tore it up and stormed down the stairs. "Lieve!" he called suddenly running as if his life was depending on it. "LIIIIEVE!" but there wasn't some responds, first as he almost reached the Rawenclaw statue had a messy looking bright red haired girl stopped and turned around to look wide-eyed at him.

"Remus?" she asked.

"Lieve!" Remus had to stop up so abruptly that he almost stumbled and had to use some seconds gaining balance. "Lieve." he breathed clearly out of breath as he held his stomach.

Lieve blinked astounded as she looked at him.

"I.. I.. I'm so sorry." Remus gaped for air. "No of cause I never thought you were shallow, you're not! You're really not! And if I ever did think that, I'm sorry, you're not, and it's not that you are just, I just." he blabbered. "I just.. do stupid things some-times, i'm dumb okay?" he tried to clarify. "And on top of that I am a coward! Of cause you understand, better than most, I know that I am just the… I just.. I mean.. what I mean is that.. I mean that, I want you, NO!" he held out a hand. "That sounded so wrong! I didn't mean that, it's just when you are so pretty, no that's not it, I mean well of cause you a pretty! That wasn't what i.. what I meant is that I do actually sort of.. like you, I mean.. when you were gone I.. and now you are back and that's.. And I.. and you." He hopelessly pointed back and ford while rambling. "What I am trying to say, I just really really need to.. I mean… I."

"Remus." Lieve placed two fingers on his lip, her eyes that now looked into his were wet and her mouth was spread in a genuine smile as she sniffed. "It really is impossible for ya to ever be straight ain it?" she asked amused. "Shut up ya dope, just shut up!" and without a moments warning her hands when his neck, and she dragged him down and kissed him on the mouth held him tight and kissed him.

Remus first stiffened in shock, but then he melted, melted into her embrace and wrapped his arms around her to kiss her back, and then lifted her up and swung her around, it was like some-thing was exploiding inside of Remus's chest and it filled out his entire body sending a shiver down his spine as he sat her down.

The look on Lieves face were almost dopey as her eyes were far away, but then she looked at him again her eyes turned clear as she slipped a hand through his hair. For some moments they just stood there, looking at each other before Lieve blinked seemingly snapping out of it. "Oh." She blinked. "Oh!"

Remus bit his lip.

"I erh.." Lieve blushed furiously. "I should go freshen up you know! I." she blushed even deeper as she embarrassed tried to straighten out her dirty clothes. "Oh dear me." She blushed. "You.. you just wait right here and I erh.. no wait that'll be stupid, it could take some time." She grimaced. "Not that I want it to take but." She stammered.

"What if we say an hour?" Remus asked. "No wait, two hours, you need to rest. Two hours, right out here." he suggested. "That's fine right, that's?"

"Yeah it's good." Lieve nodded. "It's good, it's erh.." suddenly the statue opened behind her as another rawenclaw came out, only to drop her books by the sight of Lieve. "hehe, thank ye bye!" Lieve exclaimed as she turned around and zoomed inside pass the Rawenclaw that still starred wide-eyed at her.

"That was not Lieve was it?" The girl asked Remus. "That's not possible!"

"I know it's not." Remus answered back in a smile. "But what do you know, there it is."

"Regulus Black?" The rawenclaw then asked. "They vanished together didn't they?"

"She said she left him three days ago and he was fine, they left on good terms." Remus assured.

The girl gaped, then looked over her shoulder, then at Remus and then she spoon around. "O'HARA!" she yelled. "Wait up! O'HARA!"

"Well then mate, then you finally got captured in the net." James smirked as he relaxed waltzed down the hall-way, hands behinds his back, almost whistling.

Remus lifted an eye-brow. "I thought you wanted me to." he responded honestly.

"Well mate, to late now." James smirked leaning an arm against Remus's shoulder. "But it's not to bad is it?" he asked.

"Moony got a girl-friend, moony got a girl-friend!" Sirius sang as he took ownership of Remus's other shoulder. "Not to bad is it?" he asked in a slightly nonchalant voice.

"No. Not at all." Remus responded.

"Come on mate, lets get moving, you're busy." James informed.

"I am?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, two hours right?" Sirius asked. "If she doesn't walk out of that statue looking prettier than either of us have ever seen her, in dress and all, you can bite me."

"I'm not sure she owns a dress." Remus pointed out quietly.

"Of cause she does, and trust me, she'll wear it." Sirius rolled his eyes. "She's a girl!" he exclaimed as if it was so darn obvious.

"now," James started. "kitchen Remus, go to the kitchen, the poor girl has been on the on the field for god knows how long. Remember to light a candle, and man you are so good to go on this fine evening."

Remus was absolutely silent as he tried to process James's thought process.

"Wauw, you really are new to this." Sirius lifted an eye-brow.

"You know Prongs, padfoot, thanks for every-thing and all, and the suggestions I actually think I will do that but." Remus smiled sheepishly removing James's arm from his shoulder. "If you don't mind, this is some-thing I want to do myself."

"Say no more." James assured lifting his hands. "The scene is all yours, all-though you are pretty much bound to screw it up some-how, but what-ever." he collected his hands behind his back. "I need go visit my own pretty girl any-way, she's going to be so happy with me! Wait till I tell her."

"Oh for Merlins sake!" Sirius face-palmed himself. "Why does every-body have to be love-sick? Isn't this supposed to be war?" he asked.

"guys." Remus sighed. "Does every-one have to know?"

"Of cause they do." James shook his head. "You know why? Because i'm sure they'll all be very happy, see yah!" James blinked and turned around to run down the hall-way, down towards the library where hen o doubt was late for a date with his own Diane, leaving Remus whom could only smile for himself, and indeed did follow up on the ideas and went for the kitchen to collect a few simple necessities.

Regulus was quite honestly, positively sad about having to leave the nice house with the nice Mr. and Mrs. Weasly as they stood in front of their fire-place.

"It's been nice mam, sir." He bowed his head for each of them in turn.

"So polite." Mrs. Weasly cheered ones again. "Good luck, and remember to eat well, here." She reached a back towards Regulus. "You look like you need it, they are both for you and Evelyn, made sure she eats plenty!"

Regulus slowly opened the back and realised it was filled to the absolute brim with Mrs. Weaslys chocolate chip cookies. "Thank you!" Regulus smiled brightly as he stuffed it down in his bag-pack which now contained all his clean clothes. "And I'm sure Evelyn wont complain either!" then he cleared his throat as he turned to Mr. Weasly. "Urh sir, before I go, I was wondering.." he hesitated.

"Yes." Mr. Weasly inquired politely.

"I admit, I didn't take muggle-studios at Hogwarts, so I don't have those O.W.L.S. at all, but lately.." Regulus hesitated. "Muggle relationships has started to interest me greatly, you are pretty high in that department in the ministry aren't you?" he asked.

"Not because it's very hard to become high in that department." Mr. Weasly shook his head. "Wizards are practically avoiding to be associated with us at all, it's one of the lowest departments you could be a part off, so yes.. I am practically a second in command all-ready."

"Even though I don't have muggle-studios.. you think there is a chance I might could try that department out?" Regulus asked. "I know a Black has never worked in the ministry only advised, but I was marked a blood-traitor any-way so." Regulus shrugged. "But.. try and hear me out, I think my friend may have gotten some-thing, we are here, and we have all these skills, I think our real purpose is to protect the muggles and protect all the magical creatures, not pushing them away. We simply just are, supposed to protect and help them? Don't you think?" he asked Arthur. "And we need to learn more about them to do that right?" he asked. "I just.. want to have a try, I want to learn." Regulus at last told.

"Boy." Weasly looked aghasted at him. "Having you be a part of our department, have you any idea what that would mean?" he asked.

"I see how it could be troublesome." Regulus muttered.

"It would be wonderful, a real Black, some-one with actual draw power. And you know you probably have a point there." Mr. Weasly told. "Regulus what-ever you want you have it, just contact me the moment you are out of Hogwarts!" Arthur stated. "Of cause all I could offer at first would be a place as an intern, but believe me, our department always needs an extra pair of hands."

"Really?" Regulus asked. "Thank you sir, I will."

"What-ever questions you have, don't hesitate to ask, send an owl when-ever you feel like it!" Arthur Weasly kept on chattering in such a warm enthusiastic voice that Regulus had a hard time comprehending it.

"yes yes, that's enough, off you go." Severus pushed Regulus in front of him and away from Mr. Weasly. "Remember the address Andromeda gave you?" he asked.

Regulus nodded.

"Then off with you." Severus gave him an extra push.

Regulus stumbled a bit forward but finally managed to grab a handful of floo powder from the mantel piece and threw it on the fire so it took on the familiar green colour. He send a last glance at the warm family standing behind him in the living room and send them a last little smile before he turned back towards the fire-place, into the flames, and yelled. "The Rosenfield cottage! East country side, Wales" and for a moment the green flames blinded him as he whirled around, shortly he saw glimpses of a dusin of fire-places until he ad last landed firmly on the ground, shortly he stepped out and brushed himself off, just in time for Evelyn to follow and at last Severus.

The place they were at now, were simply, very simply, packed to the brim with people.

There were so many of them sitting in corners, there were barely room to move around, there were old people, young people, middle aged people and kids.. lots and lots of kids. As Regulus has first stepped through a lot of eyes had turned to him in anticipation. And then they had been filled with dissapointment when they realised he wasn't the one they were looking for, same with Evelyn and Severus.

"All these people are missing a kid?" Regulus asked. "And all the kids are missing their parents?"

Severus nodded solemnly. "These are the ones where they believe there still is a slight chance that the lost one will turn up." He told.

"There's so many of them." Regulus breathed.

Evelyn tugged clothes to Severus's robe as she looked frightened towards the many people, clear she was put off by the crowded room. "You think mom is here?" she asked Severus.

"I know it for a fact." Severus stated. "I made certain she was put there where people could keep an eye on her."

Suddenly Evelyn hid her head nervously in Severus's robe as she clutched it tighter with her hands. "What if she doesn't want to see me? What if she's angry with me?" she quivered as she bit her lip.

Regulus's eyes fell on Severus and he realised the older boy was on completely unfamiliar terrain, not knowing what to say.

Neither did Regulus really but he decided to give it go as he sat down on one knee in front of Evelyn, looking into her large blue eyes. "Evelyn listen.." he tryingly hesitated. "All of these people, they are waiting, hoping every-day that some-one they love will return to them, right?" he asked. "There is not a single person in here whom wouldn't burst in happiness to see the person they are waiting for, and your mother is only waiting for one person, you." He stated. "So what do you say?" he asked reaching a hand towards Evelyn. "Lets go find your mother."

Evelyn how-ever looked away. "I have made her so miserable." She muttered. "And now I made her wait.. she should be so angry with me. I can't read, I can't write I can't even use a for and knife." The tears pressed on in Evelyns eyes. "I'm no good! What am I doing here?"

"You can learn all of that." Regulus stated still holding a hand towards her.

Suddenly another little girl, Evelyns age stepped on. It was Nymphodora again, thought not green hair, more a brown colour that looked way more natural. "My mom is angry with my some-times." She stated wisely. "But when I have been gone and she find me again, she is always so relieved."

Sourly Evelyn bit her lip and looked away from Nymphodora, snorting angrily.

"I'm sorry about you and your mom." Nymphodora finally stated. "if you want, I can show you how to use the fork..."

"Don't need it, I can do it fine." Evelyn stated. "Lets go find mom!" she stated grabbing Regulus's hand dragging him away from Nymphodora leaving the girl behind, but yet as they had moved a few steps forward, Evelyn slightly turned her head, and then suddenly caught Nymphodoras eye.

Nymphodora gave a vague, but assuring smile as she waved, and suddenly, Evelyn returned it and waved back, before turning back, to look for her mother.

As soon as Nymphodora was out of sight though, Evelyn halted again and she started turning nervous as her eyes flickered around. "Mom.." she whispered. "Mom." She grabbed a person by the shoulder and shook him. "Have you seen mom? Her name is Andrea she has blond hair, like mine, and she's very pretty." Evelyn asked a gent whom shook his head.

Regulus himself started to ask people around her. "Excuse me have you seen an Andrea Clearwater?" he asked the person in front of him whom shook his head. "Andrea Clearwater?" he asked the next one and slowly moved through the large room, at last he reached a middle aged couple, a man with deep brown hair holding a woman with sandy brown hair. "Excuse me, have you've seen an Andrea Clearwater?" Regulus asked. "Her daughter is looking for her, she's supposed to have blond hair, and be pretty."

The woman looked up at him, her eyes widened and then she pointed right beside her, Regulus's eyes followed the finger and his eyes found a blond woman sitting looking into the fire, the flames were reflected into her eyes and she did not move a spot. "Andrea Clearwater?" Regulus hesitantly asked.

Slowly the woman turned around. Her were eyes, blue as the sky, blue as Evelyns, they meet Regulus's.. she wasn't exactly very pretty as Evelyn had described her, she was far to thin, her frame poor, her hair, pretty as it might would have been now poor falling down her shoulders, her cheek bones standing out a bit to much, her lips lacking volume. "Who is asking?" she at last asked, her voice to sounded very strained, broken.

"My names is Regulus Black." Regulus tried to tell in a calm voice. "And I came here with Evelyn, she's looking for you."

Andreas eyes widened as she looked at Regulus. "What?" she asked.

"Evelyn." Regulus repeated in a soft respecting voice. "Miss Clearwater, your daughter is right here looking for you."

Regulus didn't get to say more, Andrea pushed him aside to get a view, and then she struggled, struggled to get herself up until she at last she stood up. "Evelyn?" She called out towards the room. "Evelyn!" she called again, but no answer at ones, her eyes dropped and she closed them tight in disappointment.

"Mom?"

Andreas eyes opened wide and she looked up again and then her eyes found Evelyn, standing in the crowds looking up at her, it was like the whole world had turned to silence as the two pairs of blue eyes looked wondrous at each other as they had stopped up in silence, and then Andrea opened her mouth and shouted. "_EVELYN!" _without seeing or comprehending she pushed Regulus aside and stepped over the couple in front of her.

"MOM!" Evelyn to jumped over a group of people that were in her way, then pushed herself beside more adults.

"EVELYN!" Andrea shouted as she pushed who-ever was in her way aside, and ran through the masses before she at last fell down on her knees with spread wide open eyes, and Evelyn threw herself straight into does arms knocking Andrea backwards so she landed on her back, but still held Evelyn tight as she laughed and cried, tears rolled down her eyes as she hold her daughter tight, kissed her on the forehead and on the cheeks. "Evelyn! Little Eve It's really you! It's really really you!" she managed to breath between all of the many kisses she showered Evelyn with.

"Mom." Evelyn laughed as tears also fell down her cheeks and she held her mother tightly as peace fell between the two and Andrea simply held her daughter. "Mom." Evelyn whispered. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you to." Andrea whispered back. "So very much."

Regulus tried to keep back his own emotions as he stood in the back-ground, he really refused to cry at a place like this where every-one could see him, but he smiled none-the less.

"I can't believe she found her." The woman that had pointed Regulus to Andrea whispered. "And you." She looked up at Regulus. "You said your name was Regulus Black?" she asked.

Regulus nodded. "Yeah, that would be me." He hesitated.

"John! It's Regulus Black!" The woman exclaimed towards the man Regulus assumed was her husband. "Remus and Sirius will be so happy!"

"Wait.. you know Siri?" Regulus asked astounded.

"He is one of my sons very best friends, he's been visiting now and again. My son has also talked about you, so you should know him, Remus." The woman told in a warm smile. "I'm Sarah Lupin and that is my husband John." She presented herself as she extended a hand towards Regulus. "We've been watching over poor Andrea for a while." She explained in a soft smile as she and Regulus shook hands. "Remus will be so thrilled to hear you are all-right. He asked us to give word if we ever heard any-thing."

"Remus's parents, you don't say?" Regulus asked almost in a laugh. "A pleasure! I don't think you need to send any message though, I send one myself recently." Regulus told as he looked at the pair a new, now that he was told it began to become obvious whom they were related to particularly. "Remus really looks a lot like you." Regulus remarked towards Sarah.

"Thank you." Sarah returned. "He is a good boy."

Regulus nodded. "Yeah he is."

In the corner, there was a man, whom always had to be such a looming shadow, Regulus couldn't help but role his eyes by the sight of Severus whom darkly looked at Evelyn and Andrea, not even willing to take in to good thing this was.

Regulus sighed as he slowly went over to the older boy. "So." Regulus rolled his tounge in his cheek. "We made it."

"Evidently." Severus almost snorted.

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Let me correct, we succeeded, without any problems." He stated.

"And you expected any-thing else?" Severus asked with a half lifted eye-brow.

"You know, I am starting to question what Lily sees in you." Regulus stated right back. "Look, Severus, what I meant is.. this was really the right choice." He commented looking at Evelyn and Andrea, Andrea so gladly holding her daughter tight, being in a room of happiness. "This was a good thing, you really managed to do some-thing good here." He stated.

Severus snorted as he looked away.

"I'm sure they'll be very grateful for a long time." Regulus exhaled. "Thanks for looking over me and Lieve, and not just leave us out in the snow, we were both kind of improvising and we were very lucky." He then at last told in a shrug as he walked away, intending to take a seat by the fire.

"You there! Regulus Black!"

Regulus twirled around to be faced with yet another woman, this time a lean looking woman wearing a simple but practical deep green wizards robe, her gray stained brown hair was pulled back in a horse-tale and her amber eyes squinted at Regulus as she puffed on a wooden pipe. "You are Regulus Black aren't you?" she asked in a stern voice.

"Erh.. yes mam." Regulus responded hesitantly feeling a little intimidated by the womans straight on reproach.

"You disappeared with Lieve O'Hara then didn't you? Where she?" she asked looking over Regulus's shoulder as to expecting to find Lieve there.

"Erh she's.." Regulus swallowed being just a little intimidated by the constant pibe smocking. "Not here." He then at last admitted.

"Then where is she?" The woman asked impatiently before she poked Regulus in the chest with her pipe. "Speak up lad, where is she?" she asked.

"She went back to Hogwarts." Regulus told honestly.

"Hogwarts?" The woman asked in a astounded voice. "What on earth could she want there?" she asked. "Did you frighten her away Black?" she asked.

"No she went herself because she has some unfinished business there." Regulus told. "She's my best friend, I assure you, I wouldn't send her away!"

"Her best friend you say?" The woman raised an eye-brow. "How come I've never heard of you then?" she asked sternly as she crossed her arms. "Funny how my daughter neglected to tell about that, that is not like her, she talks like a waterfall."

"Well, okay we've only been friends for.." then Regulus halted as he suddenly realised, slowly he looked up and was meet with does stern Amber eyes, the pipe the Woman was now smoking ones again, the practical wizards robe in natural colours. "Your daughter?" he asked. "She's your daughter? That would make you.."

"Her mother, quite obviously." The woman shook her head as she crossed her arms.

"Emma O'Hara." Regulus blinked. "I'm sorry, you just don't look any-thing a like." He blinked vividly. "Or sound alike." He remarked.

"Lieve was always the spitting image of her father." Emma O'Hara at last told in a deep sigh

"I sort of gathered." Regulus mumbled looking the other way.

"So you are saying she went back to Hogwarts?" O'Hara asked sounding rather disappointed.

"I'm afraid so." Regulus sighed. "I told you, she did it because she has some business left back there, but believe me she misses you, and she was so happy when we found you weren't dead.. You did get the letter didn't you?" he asked.

"Of cause I did." O'Hara told retrieving a letter from her chest pocket, then she silenced. "You are the friend she wrote about aren't you?" she asked. "The one whom is arrogant, rude, posh and immature."

"Erh.." Regulus blinked.

"Don't worry very specifically this says, but he's only that because that is what he was brought up to be, his true nature is kindness." Emma read out loud of the letter.

"That's very nice of her to say." Regulus then at last stated.

"She's an excellent judge of character." Emma told with a raised eye-brow. Then she silenced, as she looked at Regulus. "I suppose she wont be coming here for me then?" She asked as Regulus shook his head. "Well. Thank you for taking care of my daughter then." She at last told. "She always sounded so lonely, even though she tried to convince people that Hogwarts was great for her. I was worried when she never had friends home."

"Oh." Regulus looked back at Emma. "It was my pleasure." He at last told. "Really, I'm grateful she would be my friend." He told sincerely. "And I hope we would be able to get along, that would make her very happy." He told in a slight smile.

* * *

Not more than one and a half hour after Remus had left Lieve, did the young werewolf stand ready at the potrait, feeling nervous actually.. it took a while, but finally Lieve came out, Remus had to life an eye-brow, she was wearing a dress, nothing fancy or any-thing, it looked both simple and practical, it was bottle green matchin her hair pretty well.. but it was a dress. Lieve nervously smoothed it out so it fell elegantly over her soft feature. "I needed some-thing clean.." she mumbled almost as if it was an excuse.

"It suits you." Remus tried, and it sounded awkward as he looked up and caught sight of her face, clean and smooth, her wild her framing her face and falling down her shoulders, freckles running over her face, her eyes clear and.. stunning. "You erh.. look really pretty." He swallowed.

"Thanks." Lieve blushed deeply. "What erh.. what now?" she asked Remus. "I've… never had a.. been on a date, what-ever this is."

"Me neither." Remus responded honestly.

"We don't have to be like James and Diane do we?" Lieve asked as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"I hope not." Remus replied. "What if we just.." awkwardly he stepped closer to her and tryingly put an arm around her shoulder. "How's…" he didn't get any further before Lieve had leaned her head towards him, obviously okay with the arm. "Come on this way."

"Where are we going?" Lieve asked.

"I thought you might be hungry." Remus tried in that ever awkward tone.

"Starving, to be honest." Lieve responded in a deep smile, as on command as if the mention of food did it her stomach began to rumble. "Oh no!" Lieve blushed deeply. "I dinna!"

And Remus laughed out loud, which broke the tension and suddenly Lieve laughed as well. "You know what Lieve?" Remus asked. "Why don't we just do this our own way, then I'll think we'll be okay."

"Sounds good to me." Lieve sighed relieved tiptoeing to give Remus's cheek a little kiss.


	64. The dream

"So you are Muggle borns right?" Regulus asked as he sat down on her knees beside an middle-age married couple. "Tell me, how do you experience the difference between the muggle-world and our wizard world?" he asked politely.

Severus observed this strange behaviour from afar as Regulus went from person to person, apparently collecting data or some-thing,

How foolish the young lad was, apparently he assumed he was safe now, but Severus knew better, none of them were safe and further more, they had to move on soon, it wasn't exactly safe to have this many people collected at one spot, when people had been re-united or had decided it wasn't worth waiting any-longer it was time to move, simple as that.

Severus glanced at Andrea and Evelyn sitting by the fire, Andrea holding her daughter and Evelyn telling her mother made-up stories, the Lupins sitting by themselves holding hands closely as they watched Evelyn. It all seemed so damn peace-full.

But the truth was that they were far worse off now than the last time around, no Dumbledore, no prophesy, no chosen one simply destined to take out the big bad voldemort..

There was nothing, logic dictated most people in that room would die sooner or later in spite of Severus's afford, Andre and Evelyn wasn't out of the fire at all, at most he had just postponed disaster, what was even the point?

Severus slumped down in his own corner, he felt so exhausted and so old, he couldn't even get this peacefulness get to him, not ever.. damn was he tired!

Why would he have to be so tired?

He had not asked for any of this! He had died that ones and would have been content to stay dead.

Every inch of his body were exhausted, his mind was exhausted, every-thing, he was so tired that even his occludist shields were dropping.

But on some level, Severus didn't even care, he was far to tired.

What did it even matter if he weren't at his fullest? He would fail any-way, and at last, he just let them as he sunk down against the wall, exhausted from it all, closed his eyes and let the dark take him, take him far away.

Severus's eyes fluttered and he was faced with a blue sky above him, beneath him he could smell grass, it was.. so ever pleasant, vaguely he heard laughter beside him and lazily he turned his head to witness a small raven haired kid in far to big dirty clothes, laughing and skipping, before running into the outstretched welcoming arms of a red haired woman.

Severus's eyes widened in shock, that woman was Lily, and the boy.. Looked peculiarly much like himself, Severus frowned as he got up on his legs and looked suspiciously at the two, he shook his black robes from any dirt and with a stern frown on his face walked closer, what was that weird abomination of his kid self and a adult Lily, what was that? His frown grew even darker as he neared the laughing couple, only for Lily to finally notice his presence, she looked up and gaped by the sight of him. "Sev?" she asked.

Severus frowned lightly as he looked down at her.

"Wow." the boy whispered getting closer to Lily. "You look scary."

Severus scoffed annoying making the kid take an intimidated step back.

Lily laid an protecting arm around the boy as she stood up herself to stand a little away from Severus. "What's going on, what's happening now?" she asked holding the boy close.

"I honestly started to think he would never come." the kid whispered. "What happened?" he asked looking up at Severus whom didn't answer merely observed.

"What?" Lily asked looking down at the boy.

"I think… he was to tired this time around." the boy whispered. "To tired to lock us away."

"You mean." Lily looked up at Severus, then she frowned as her eyes looked puzzled, slowly she let go of the boy and walked slowly closer to Severus until she was right in front of him. "Sev?" she asked. "Is that you?"

"My name is Severus, Snape and a few may call me Sev, that is correct." Severus told in a cold voice. "I how-ever, just want to know why I am seeing this in my sleep."

"Sev…" Lily whispered. "Why are you. so. .. old?" she asked in a weird tone.

Severus looked down at his hand, which were now parchment yellow, but more than that, it was withered and frail, he looked up and peered through his own black hair, only to reach up a hand towards it and pull down a lock where he discovered snow-white stains among all of the black, not even in his former life had he managed to become old enough to gain grey hair, but the proof was undeniable, slowly he walked towards the stream his long black robes whirling behind him until he bowed down to gain a glimpse of his own reflection, like his hand his face looked withered and poor, his eyes tired and sunken in, his hair lost from from any shine, white hairs interfering with the black. "It's how I feel." Severus spoke more to himself than to any-one else, also his voice sounded hoars and croaked.

"It's what life did to you." Lily whispered. "Sev, i'm so sorry. I.."

Severus glanced at her, by god she really did look and sounded so much like Lily, her hair and face, her voice.. only, she didn't quite look like the seventeen year old girl he had left behind.. some-how she to looked older. She didn't look like a girl at all, she looked like a woman and it just made her that more breath takingly beautiful. but Severus shook his head. "You are but a fragment of my imagination, what you may say or not say can't effect me." Severus shrugged her off.

"That's where you are wrong, Sev, we are sharing a dream." Lily tried to explain. "I am sleeping and you are sleeping, and because we are linked we can share dreams."

Severus frowned at Lily, knitting an eye-brow. "How could that possible work?" he asked. "Why would we be linked?" he asked.

"That memory you gave me." Lily looked up at him, "Sev i'm so sorry, please forgive me. I know what I did was wrong.. And I am sorry to have wronged you like that! Please believe me!"

Severus's eyes widened as he starred at her. "What did you do?" he asked in a dangerous tone.

"Sev." Lily looked up at him. "I just wanted to understand, I was confused, I just.."

Ice went down Severus's chest as he realised what she was implying.. The only way this could even begin to be possible, then suddenly the ice became hot as the burning sensation of deep betrayal erupted in Severus's chest and he rose in his anger as he stood up straight. Here there was no holding back feelings, here he was as much a slave to them as when he didn't have occlumency. "_WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?_" Severus suddenly yelled unable to keep back his anger. "You insolent little girl!" he ranted taking three steps towards her. "Why must the simplest of tasks be so hard for you?" he angered his anger being so blinded that he didn't even notice his own hand raising.

"NO!" a little voice caught in as a little body tackled Severus. "_leave her alone!" _little Severus yelled. "She just tried to help!"

"_You!" _Severus sneered dangerously at the little and then harshly grabbed the replica of his younger self by the shoulder boring his hand into the boys cloth so the kid gasped in surprise and pain. "And you are the waste product by this freak accident I see?" he sneered dangerously shaking the kid in a harsh way.

"_Get away from him_!" Suddenly Severus was pushed aside ones again, this time by Lily whom took the little kid by the hand and protected him behind her back as lighting shone in her eyes towards Severus. "Don't you dare lay a hand on him Severus Snape." she warned in a dangerous tone.

Severus snorted. "He is but a fragment of a memory gone wrong, an obscurity, a big mistake." he told in a grim tone.

"I don't believe that." Lily told holding the boy close behind her.

"Let me put this right, let me get him back where he belongs." Severus sneered taking a step towards them, only for Lily to step even closer to the boy, spreading her arms out shielding the little raven haired individual as she defied Severus with all of her might.

"I know what you are going to do, you are going to lock him away again." Lily stated looking at Severus. "As you always do, he told me about it, I wont let you." she told. "I wont let you hurt him, lock him up or any of those other horrible things! You will _not_ hurt yourself _any-more_!"

"_move away Lily!" _Severus demanded as he raised his wand.

"I REFUSE!" Lily shouted on the top of her lungs, and suddenly a lighting was striking behind her, followed by a over-shadowing thunder.

Severus looked around and suddenly found that even though the sky had been blue and every-thing so nice a mere minute ago, it now looked like a storm, the sky was dark of heavy clouds, the wind was over powering picking up in the tress, making Severus robe billow around and his white stained hair flow in the wind.

Lily cried out as the wind almost knocked her around, but instead of running she bowed down to protect the boy.

"Lily i'm scared." the boy cried as he held her close. "Don't let the storm take me, it'll turn me into him." he told as he looked at Severus with big scared eyes.

Lily looked with the boy up at Severus, her eyes wide with fear. "Don't worry." she whispered back to the boy. "I wont let go, I promise!" then her eyes looked back at Severus. "Please! Make it stop!" she asked of Severus as the storm took over them. "You're doing this! Make it stop! PLEASE!"

"I'M NOT DOING A THING!" Severus roared as another thunder stroke making Lily yell in shock as she held the boy tight, the wind forcing them down on the ground, Severus scowled as there was only one thing he could think of doing, he ran towards the two and grabbed them to stand above them, trying to shield them as good as he could from the stormy wind and the stinging rain, but it was hard, also he was being threatened by falling down and yelled out in frustration._ "I don't know what is happening!"_ he hissed.

Lily almost laughed as tears rolled down her eyes. "Even when you are angry with me you are always trying to protect me." she hiccupped.

"Against my better judgement." Severus hissed back. "You are saying we are both sharing a dream?" he asked his more logical mind now kicking in.

"I think so." Lily nodded.

"Time to wake up then isn't it?" Severus asked.

"But then you'll be gone again." Lily closed her eyes tight. "And you'll lock us out for good."

Severus didn't answer but just looked straightforward squinting his eyes.

"Why Sev?" Lily asked in a tear filled voice. "Why do you insist on locking us away?" she asked. "Listen to me, I could help you! Together we could make you strong again!"

"What makes you think I am not plenty strong?" Severus asked in a dangerous tone.

"Look at yourself!" Lily exclaimed. "You're frail as a dried out twig."

Severus hated to admit, but he did feel it, he was growing weaker by the second, his attempt to shelter Lily and the kid becoming more and more difficult. Still he didn't respond.

"Stop fighting yourself, you are only making yourself weaker!" Lily exclaimed. "Let me help you stop this!" she asked.

"I really have no idea what you are getting at."

"For gods sake you are not always right try and _listen_ to me!" Lily yelled over the storm. "You never listen Sev! This place were always nice and tranquile when I visited, then you show up and it's a storm, it's _you_ Sev!" Lily tried to explain in a desperate voice. "It's all you! Don't you see?" she asked. "You are at war with yourself! You _are _this storm!" she exclaimed loudly.

"Nonsense!" Severus hissed using all his remaining strength to trying and shield them.

"You are neither entirely good or bad, you walk in the middle so it's your nature having those two things fighting inside of you." Lily told in a whisper as she tried to keep back the tears from her fatigue. "But you don't have to fight yourself, it's only making it worse!"

Severus how-ever didn't have the time to respond, he didn't have much more in him, he was giving into the pressure, the old body he had gotten at this place was to weak and growing ever weaker as he stumbled and fell.

"SEV NO!" Lily exclaimed as he fell, then reached towards him, but they were drifting apart. "Sev! Take my hand! PLEASE!" Lily begged reaching towards him. "You _need _to get up!" she told stretching all that she could towards him.

Severus how-ever looked up at her but didn't make any motion to reach towards her hand, he didn't even look at it. "No." Severus whispered. "We both need to wake up." he stated and closed his eyes, forcing it all to go away, willing it all away, it took much more strenght than it ever had before, but as he opened his eyes again there was no storm, no rain and no thunder, his shields were back up, he lifted his hand and it was young and white, he drew a lock of hair in front of his eyes and it was raven black, relieved Severus exhaled, he had done it, he had made himself wake up, what kind of dream was it he had?

He couldn't be sure at all what it was, there had been some-thing unnatural about it, but whether Lily had shared the dream with him or not, he could not tell, he closed his eyes ones again as he exhaled.

In any case it did not matter, he would not be so careless again to slip into such a thing, he would will it away again, as he always did.

* * *

"SEV NO!" Lily sat up straight as she yelled out, only to realise she was sitting in complete darkness on her madras in the hidden hall-way. Lily sighed deeply as she fell backwards down on the pillow feeling the void of a small person whoms hand she had been holding while she stretched out the other, and the last thing she remembered seeing was an incredible old and weak looking Severus clawing his long frail fingers into the ground as he just tried to not being thrown away by the massive storm, and his glittering black eyes meeting hers before suddenly, he had let go with his hand and Lily had yelled towards him, only to realise she had all-ready woken up.

Lily looked up in the ceiling, it would be of no use trying to go back to sleep now, she wouldn't be able to sleep for the rest of the night and there was nothing she could do right now, she knew that much, Sev would simply have to come to her, it was the way it had to be.

Why would he have to be so god damn stubborn? Lily turned around burying her head in the pillow. "If you die on me out there I'll never forgive you." She whispered, and as she had said the words, she knew.. Severus had heard those few words, as clear as if she was laying right beside him.

He had heard them! And the words had hurt him, she could feel it as what it herself, and she immediately regretted her words, regretted being the single source of that much pain in him, so she closed her eyes and she spoke more softly. "Sev." She whispered in her softest voice. "When you need me, I am here for you." She told. "If it's tomorrow, in a month or in a year, I am right here, all you need to do, is ask, what-ever you need, when-ever you need it. Try and remember that wont you?" she asked in her warmest voice which she knew Severus could hear, even if he might thought it was only a dream. "And please remember, that I really do lo-" she didn't get to finish that last sentence as the connection was cut, as if some-one had slammed a door right in Lily's face. Lily blinked astounded by the gesture. "Well that was just plainly rude." She stated as she blinked and then sighed, only merlin would know if Severus ever would be ready himself to come back, Lily rolled over on her side, and was suddenly faced with her sleeping mate, the Irish laying on her own madras.

Lieve though had the audacity to smile all over her face as she hugged her pillow, looking like a person in satisfied love. Making Lily grumble annoyed as she tried to suppress a sudden urge to send a fountain of water in the direction of the irish to wash that dumb smile of her face.

"Well, if those two finally found a way maybe there's hope yet." Lily at last stated looking up in the ceiling again. "He'll come in his own time, I know it.. Sev I really do love you, and I believe in you, you _will_ come, when the time is right! I know you will!" She stated surely, but was only met with silence, he hadn't heard her at all, no one had.


	65. Wanna do some-thing reckless?

"All-right." James had taken his position as leader as all of the remainding Phoenix fighters were collected at mid January as people had come back to school to resume education. "We have decided, all those whom are muggle-born or have another reason to hide will be given the option." he stated. "The locations for where we hide these people are confidential so you'll have to come to me, Sirius or Remus to be placed." James told. "this is done to make sure there wont be any leaks, it's not because I don't want to trust you all, but the individual safety is that important to me." He stated. "If you are ever afraid that some of the death-eaters or so ford are out for you, do not hesitate." James stated.

"He really is the born leader." Lieve remarked from where she sat with Remus's arm around her shoulder.

"He's always been like that." Remus told in a slight smile.

"Lily right here, are one of the people whom is hiding within the castle." James told. "Which is why she wont leave this room when you people go, and wont be found unless she wants to be found."

Lily nodded as she sat holding a certain rat, a rat they now kept on calling Racles, his real identity remained a secret among the marauders, and they kept him close.

"And we have some-one back with us." Sirius then proclaimed as he stood by James's right shoulder, as he always did. "I'm sure you all, all-ready have notice our little love-sick forest-troll." He gestured at Lieve whom blushed deeply.

"Aye, I left Regulus and Severus between Christmas and new-year." She told the rest of the phoenix fighters sitting around on the floor, whom honestly had been starring for quite a long time. "And they were both in good health when I last saw them." She assured in a smile. "Severus is strong, he'll take good care of himself, there is no way any dark lord would get to him." She told. "And Regulus is stronger than you should think, he even taught me how to do a patronus." She told in a smile before flickering her wand whispering a soft "expecto patronus."

To let the silver badger land on the floor. "I found the secret." Lieve told to the others in a slight smile "It's not about the memory it's about the emotion connected to the memory.. it's about that feeling, that when ya think about it, it'll just get right to you! It can be so strong that's it's scary, and it can hurt, but that's what's makes it so strong." She told leaning forward. "How I remember how me dad used to play around with me, how silly he could be, and no matter what happened, he would always just be there." She sighed deeply as the badger on itself started to glow deeper and warmer. "How I know there's people here that wants me to be here.. it warms me heart, and it hurts me cause it's so fragile, that what makes the patronus strong, it also hurts because part of me knows that me dad wont be coming back, and I know I could loose what I have now, it hurts a lot, but that just makes it stronger, ye'll need to embrace all of it." She told as the badger glowed on. "Dinnae force it, but just.. remember the good things. It may hurt cause you lost it, but the last thing ya should do is pushing it away, first when you embraced the pain and the happiness, is yer emotion strong enough." She told and at last cancelled the incarnation.

James hesitated as he held out his own wand, looking speculating at it, then he closed his eyes and spoke himself. "Expecto Patronus." And out of his wand, came a larger silver bear, James grinned by the sight. "I don't believe it!" he exclaimed. "It worked!"

"Exspecto Patronus!" Sirius shouted and out of his wand shoot a big grim dog, looking peculiar much like his animagus self, and Sirius grinned in happiness over the revelation.

"_Exspecto patronus_!" Several other people now started trying.. some still failed, and didn't succeed in any-thing but clouds of silver, but others.. others succeeded. Diane laughed as she played around with her hawk, a silver fox zoomed through Lily's legs, in the air a rabbit was floating around on its own accord.

"what about ye?" Lieve asked leaning against her boy-friend. "wont you even try?" she asked Remus.

"Njah, I'll know how it'll turn out any-way." Remus sighed resting an arm over Lieve shoulder. "I'll never learn how to cast a patronus."

"Never?" Lieve asked. "So what ye are saying are that you can never be truly happy?" she asked turning around to look up at him meeting his eyes.

"There'll always be that tiny shadow in what-ever happiness I have I'm afraid." Remus sighed. "But if it helps, I am very close right now." He told in a warm smile dragging her in.

Defeated Lieve sighed and decided just to go with his wishes for now.

* * *

"Ready to go?" Severus asked surveying the group of people he had before him.

The group were as following, Regulus, Andrea, Evelyn, Emma O'Hara and the two lupins.

"As you are all well aware being so many people collected was a risk to begin with, there-fore the order re-locates people whom doesn't have a reason to stay around any-longer, I have been tasked with the re-location, so you wili follow me, you will not question me, you will not run off and you'll do every-thing I say." Severus snapped.

Regulus lifted an eye-brow. "Yeah I think we got it around now." he told. "You've only told us a hundred times." He stated as he rolled his eyes.

"Did I mention to watch your mouth?" Severus barged back at him.

"Every-single day Lieve was still with us." Regulus told. "And say what you will, but at least she was fun company." He at last stated in a shake of his head.

Severus shook his head. "As apparation can be traced we will walk for a couple of days." He told. "We cannot have any-one noticing that there have been many apparations out of this exact location. Come on." He gestured as he wandered out in the bitter cold air of February.

Finally the snow had smelted enough for the british mountain terrain to be doable when walking, but that was not saying much, it was still wet and it was still very very cold.

Regulus had been learning from the last time around, and had traded his quite frankly lazed old high quality silver-bucketed black wizard boots with a far more practical pair, they had also scheduled thair departure after the moon cycle so that Evelyn could transform while being under the influence of Wolfe-banes only two days ago, and that gave them thirty days to move on without worry before the full-moon that would happen early March.

"Is he always like this?" Sarah at last whispered to Regulus as they had wandered around. "Remus always spoke so highly of him in the vacation and in his letters."

Regulus shrugged a bit defeated. "Remus is a very polite guy." He responded.

Sarah smiled lightly at Regulus. "It's so nice he managed to get so many good friends in spite of his problem." She told softly. "Thank you."

"It's nothing, he isn't even really my friend, just some-one I happen to know." Regulus waved her off, first as she had turned back to her husband did Regulus back-track that sentence. Wait what problem? But then he shrugged again, it probably wasn't that important, if it was he would have known.

"Regulus." This time it was Mrs. O'Hara adressing him.

"Yes Mrs. O'Hara." Regulus responded pleasently, in a slight nod and smile.

"Please, call me Emma." Mrs. O'Hara responded. "I was just wondering, now that we are going to walk like this for a couple of days, would you mind telling me what is up with my daughter? How did you two become friends?" she asked.

"Basically she beat some sense into my head… very literately." Regulus grunted lightly touching his nose as if it would still hurt after all that time, since she had beat him straight on it. "Then we faced mortal danger together a couple of times, turned the war up-side down, walked around the English country side for a couple of weeks completely alone, and I guess that sort of made us bond."

Emma blinked as she looked at Regulus.

"Urh, we are the same year at Hogwarts so we share a lot of classes." Regulus then at last told looking forward, walking a bit quicker to catch up with Severus.

* * *

"What do you mean they are gone?" Yaxley roared as he and spinner stormed through the hall-way.

"What I said, I went to get the little mud-bloods, and they were gone!" Spinner tried to explain as the two teachers walked down the hall-way.

Right behind the armor they had just passed stood Lily together with the hufflepuff girl they were searching for, the one with fluffy hair and amber eyes, Leila. "Your all-right?" Lily asked the hufflepuff.

Leila nodded. "What now?" she whispered.

"Now we'll get you to one of our hide-outs." Lily whispered back. "We'll just go to the nearest for now," she told as she showed the girl way into a room, where three others were laying around on madras's on the floor."

"What makes you so sure we wont be captured again?" Leila suddenly asked as she turned around towards Lily. "Like with the atronomity tower."

"We had a leak." Lily told in a sigh. "But we found it, and we are more careful now." She conjured a madras for Leila. "We wont stand for this propaganda, but neither will we let people get hurt." Lily told firmly as she settled Leila in.

The wall opened behind Lily and in stepped James to inspect the house, a rat was sitting on his shoulder also observing all around. "You are doing a great job." James told Lily as she tired sat back.

"Thanks." Lily responded.

"But we can't keep them hidden away for ever like this." James sighed. "At some point they will be discovered, and then they'll be handed straight to the death-eaters. As well will you." He told.

"I know." Lily shook her head. "But what are we supposed to do?" she asked. "Keeping on pranking them can only give us that much, it's just an annoyance to them. It's keeping them angry and annoyed, but what does that gives us?" she asked concerned. "At this rate it would be better to just stop so we can be on the safe side."

James raised an eye-brow.

"What?" Lily asked in a frown.

"I'm just sorry, but I have gotten to know you as miss racing into action." James told frankly.

"If there is a point in doing it." Lily told back in a sigh. "I know I did it without thinking before, and I am sorry, I was desperate to do some-thing and then that some-thing ended up being a stupid thing to do."

James smiled lightly. "Don't think about it, that is the past and this is the present.. and in the present I have a question for you." He stated.

"Shoot." Lily invited.

"Are you on for rushing into some-thing really incredible stupid?" James asked.

Lily silenced, and then looked at James. "Depends on what it is." She then told honestly.

"Taking Hogwarts back." James stated firmly. "Think about, almost the entire school is afflicted with the phoenix fighters around now, a hundred capable young wizards, McGonagall is still the headmistress, they are _two _death-eaters here at all time, some-times a few more." He raised an eye-brow. "I say throw them out and close the gates. Send a message to the rest of the wizarding world that, Voldemort hasn't won yet. People are starting loosing hope, we have to send a message that we are indeed fighting."

"That would be incredible dangerous." Lily responded in a frown. "Voldemort would undoubtly try and re-take the school not to soon after"

James nodded. "But we'll be ready for that, Hogwarts is a fortress, so are you in?" he asked.

Lily hesitated slightly, looking at James. "It's irrational, rushing the action that could be avoided for a longer time, we need to be slyer than that, see the larger perspective and stay out of trouble." She listed making James eye-brows raise. "That is what Severus would say." Lily then explained.

"Oh, but what do you then say?" James asked.

"You have to promise me one thing James." Lily told sternly.

"Yes." James nodded.

"No one will get hurt." Lily then told sternly. "If you are in doubt, it's a no, and I mean _no one_." Lily stated surely. "Not you, not me, not a student, not a teacher, no one! Can you promise me that?" she asked.

"There is always a risk." James sighed. "But this time we'll have a plan, and all younger students, we will hide them, I don't think it'll be necessary, but I am going to take all pre-cautions in case those slimy death-eaters has some-thing up their sleeve."

Lily nodded. "Fine then." She sighed. "Then I will follow your lead." She assured.

"This could potentially get Severus out of hiding." James pointed in a slight smile.

"Oh forget about Sev." Lily sighed, a sentence that made James mouth drop open.

"You heard me, what is the use wasting time looking for him or trying to make him come out?" She asked. "he is out doing his own business, and when it's time for him to come back he'll come back." Lily told. "He has to come back on his own, otherwise it wont work! And he will."

"You're really that sure?" James asked.

"I am worried for him of cause." Lily sighed. "But there isn't any-thing I can do he would appreciate any-way, so I'll let him manage his own business, he can take care of himself, and he'll do what needs to be done, I believe in him." She told assuredly. "And when he comes back, because he will when the time is ready, we'll be here for him." Lily surely, making James take a deep breath as he smiled, assured by Lilys strong words and her conviction.

"Still compared to him, we aren't much use in a fight." James noted defeated. "But all-right."

"Njah, you are stronger than you think." Lily blinked at James.

* * *

_AN; Okay people! this fic is now officially up to speed! I have written more stuff, but not in a linear sense of the word, the chapters now will come out as I write them! so maybe it can take a month between chapters at this point, maybe less, can't promise to many things, but.. there isn't that much left, as you can probably tell, it's all about just making the plot-lines coming together at this point. _


	66. IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE!

_AN; Okay listen closely, any-one whom follows this story. _

_I guess we are all sick and tired of this big work just laying here unfinished, and I think it's time to face facts, that I probably never will be writing the missing chapters. _

_How-ever, I did write the ending. So here is what I am going to do, post the chapters I do have, then by the beginning of each chapter, write what happened in the empty space between. All-right? Oki! Lets do this. _


	67. every-one we care about

**_What happened in the missing Chapters;  
_**

_**The marauders succesfully threw out the death eaters from the castle, McGonagall all though reluctant discovered them in mid action, and finally agreed to seal up the castle so no one else can come in, and the castle with students is under complete protection with no one able to get in or out. **_

* * *

"Ready to go?" Severus asked surveying the group of people he had before him.

The group were as following, Regulus, Andrea, Evelyn and the two lupins.

"As you are all well aware being so many people collected was a risk to begin with, there-fore the order re-locates people whom doesn't have a reason to stay around any-longer, I have been tasked with the re-location, so you wili follow me, you will not question me, you will not run off and you'll do every-thing I say." Severus snapped.

Regulus lifted an eye-brow. "Yeah I think we got it around now." he told. "You've only told us a hundred times." He stated as he rolled his eyes.

"Did I mention to watch your mouth?" Severus barged back at him.

"Every-single day Lieve was still with us." Regulus told. "And say what you will, but at least she was fun company." He at last stated in a shake of his head.

Severus shook his head. "As apparation can be traced we will walk for a couple of days." He told. "We cannot have any-one noticing that there have been many apparations out of this exact location. Come on." He gestured as he wandered out in the bitter cold air of February.

Finally the snow had smelted enough for the british mountain terrain to be doable when walking, but that was not saying much, it was still wet and it was still very very cold.

Regulus had been learning from the last time around, and had traded his quite frankly lazed old high quality silver-bucketed black wizard boots with a far more practical pair, they had also scheduled thair departure after the moon cycle so that Evelyn could transform while being under the influence of Wolfe-banes only two days ago, and that gave them thirty days to move on without worry before the full-moon that would happen early March.

"Is he always like this?" Sarah at last whispered to Regulus as they had wandered around. "Remus always spoke so highly of him in the vacation and in his letters."

Regulus shrugged a bit defeated. "Remus is a very polite guy." He responded.

Sarah smiled lightly at Regulus. "It's so nice he managed to get so many good friends in spite of his problem." She told softly. "Thank you."

"It's nothing, he isn't even really my friend, just some-one I happen to know." Regulus waved her off, first as she had turned back to her husband did Regulus back-track that sentence. Wait what problem? But then he shrugged again, it probably wasn't that important, if it was he would have known.

They ended up walking for many days, Regulus had lost count and some-thing told him they had actually been walking for weeks now, over the mountains and the country sight, there really weren't any-one among the adult group to really talk to so Regulus ended up walking in silence… complete and utter silence, who would have thought, he missed the constant chatter in thick accent that so often was hard to understand, Regulus felt almost guilty to admit that he from time to time in his head, commented that Lieve would have commented on some-thing, and then made up what she would have said, that really had to be the most pathetic form of missing some-one he had heard of, but there it was.

In the night a magical tent was sat up for the flock the rest in, Regulus had his own bed in the corner where he laid looking up in the ceiling, it was luxury that they had a magical tent like this, but the space was still small and Regulus could re-collect every-one it it, it seemed right now like every-one was sleeping, in the darkness of the tenth, heavy breaths sounded from all around the place, Regulus could just make out the frame of Andrea laying with Evelyn in her aarms, holding her daughter tight, Sarah and John Lupin also laying near-by each for comfort, then suddenly a person stood up, and silently started to rumoured about, it was Severus. Regulus turned around and saw the young man silently as if he didn't want to be discovered, heading for the exit.

Regulus hesitated slightly, but then he grabbed his borrowed invisibility cloak and threw it over himself to follow Severus.

It proved itself hard as Severus proved himself to be stealth and how to lay in the shadows, it was almost impossible to see him, he started to move across the rocks, and through the barrier he had put up earlier, it felt like hours they were walking before at last, Regulus saw a warm light in front of him, and Severus stopped hidden behind some stones.

Regulus followed until he himself could gain a view, and now saw a fire, around it sat a whole bunch of greasy looking men and a few women, all looking like they hadn't bathed for a very long time, and all looking a bit like animals.

"What is the use Fenrir?" A blond man at last sighed as he shook his head. "We've been tracking them for days, they most likely appareted away by now."

"No." a larger man, with long gray hair, yellow teethes and looking more like a beast than the rest combined sneered. "I can smell her, she is still here." The man probably called Fenrir sneered.

And then Regulus realised.. Fenrir.. Fenrir Grayback.. the werewolf, he had some-how snuffed up Evelyn and wanted pay-back.

"In a few days we will be headed for Hogwarts any-way, why not rest until then?" The blond man asked again. "Lord knows we need it."

Suddenly Regulus's stomach froze to ice. Hogwarts?.. they had said Hogwarts? They would be heading for Hogwarts, and only for one reason.. to attack.

"Why can't the dark lords precious pure-blood wizards do it themselves?" A dark skinned man sneered.

"Afraid of us obviously." Fenrir almost laughed. "As they should be, serves them right. And beside they are busy protecting that thing."

"You know what it is?" The blond man asked. "Sure seems important with all that fuzz about it."

"No idea." Fenrir shook his head. "And it doesn't matter to me, the dark lord are lying to his death-eaters any-way, the thing aren't where he told them it is, it's in this big cave at the east coast."

"How do you know?" a woman with flaming red hair and shinning yellow eyes asked wide-eyed.

"A little elf told me Lenora dearest." Fenrir flashed a grin at her. "Full of information they are the little elfs, all you need to do is ask, but oh well, the precious full-bloods never think that far." He sighed.

Regulus didn't need to hear more, and apparently neither did Severus whom slowly moved away, and silently started to move back, Regulus followed to not be left behind.

First as the tent was back in sight and he could see Severus slump down in front of it did Regulus drop the cloak. "They are going to attack Hogwarts!" he exclaimed.

Severus looked up, and then a sneer came over his lips. "You followed me." He sneered.

"Of cause I did, not like you would tell me any-thing if I didn't." Regulus stated right back. "They said they would be at Hogwarts in a few days, we have to go back and warn our friends." He stated at ones.

"Didn't you listen to the other part?" Severus asked. "The dark lord is hiding some-thing, very valuable to him, at a cavern by the east coast, my bets is that that is our horecrux, the most important thing to the Dark lord right now."

"The horecrux will still be there after we helped our friends." Regulus rolled his eyes. "You have to come with me to Hogwarts." He stated.

"I don't have to do any-thing." Severus spat back

Regulus gaped. "What do you mean? You are the strongest out of all of us, your presence alone can be the thing changing the entire outcome!" He exclaimed.

"And what will all of that be good for if you can't end it?" Severus sneered.

"_And what good is ending it when every-body whom matters are dead!" _Regulus shouted back. "Fine, I don't care about what you do, but _I _have to warn them!" He stated as he threw the invisibility cloak over himself.

"You can't even apparate, it'll take you days to get to Hogwarts, even if you find transportation." Snape sneered after Regulus.

"_I don't care_!" Regulus's voice sounded from some-where in the woods, a wind rushed through the trees, or it could be Regulus running, there was no way of telling. Severus sneered at it, good riddance, one person left to take care off, all he needed to do now was to apparate the rest and get rid of them so he could move away, on his own.

When suddenly, a sharp pain went through his knee and Severus looked down to be faced with a little werewolf whom looked angrily up at him. _"What?" _Severus sneered.

"You LIAR!" Evelyn shouted as she kicked him again. "You told me we should all stand together and fight together, but you are nothing but a big liar!" she stated as she kicked him a third time. "You are going to just leave us now aren't you? Like we are just a big burden to you!" she asked with bitter tears falling down her eyes.

Severus didn't answer but darkly looked out in the air.

"FINE!" Evelyn then shouted. "Apparate us away in the morning and be over with it, I don't care any-more." She stated in a angry voice before turning around, walking back into the tent.

Leaving Severus, as his own dark shadow, quite alone out in the wet melting snow surrounding him, and the bitter wand catching his robes and hair, chilling his bones.


	68. lets go away

**_What happened in the missing Chapters;  
_**

_**While Severus go to destroy the horecrux, Regulus goes back to hogwarts to warn them about the werewolf attack. **_

_**He only manages to get back minutes before the attack, and the castle ends up being to unprepaired, which ends up in the werewolfs working with the death eaters takes the castle, and the castle is now under siege with the students hiding in the secret passages, all overseen by the marauders. **_

_**The attack happened doing a full-moon, and Remus ended up being to stressed to remember taking his wolfsbane, thus transformed into a werewolf in front of Lieve whom only got away due to Regulus's intervention. And now after the attack is over, needs to have a talk with Remus. **_

* * *

"How are you feeling love?" Lieve asked gently as she let Remus's head rest on her lap, he was barely awake, still to exhausted to be around for very long at the time. probably didn't help that all they had was thin madress's in this cold hall-way.

"Like I am going to hurl." He groaned.. "And.. " he hissed. "auw."

"Ye were hurt badly." Lieve informed him. "Take it easy." She pushed him down again before Remus got to far up.

"My wand.." Remus asked.

"I dinnae know where it is." Lieve swallowed. "Ye can borrow mine." She offered him hers without a moment hesistation.

"No.. healing spells with a borrowed wand.. bad bad idea." Remus grunted. "How did I get here?" he asked at last.

"I.. I brought you here.." Lieve told. "James and Sirius helped me, thank god we had the map, otherwise we might never have found you out there in the forest."

Remus stared wideeyed at her.. "What?" he asked.

Carefully Lieve touched the back of his head and he hissed by the light touch, clearly hurt. "I'm afraid tha is my fault." She told a couple of tears now dripling down her eyes, and Lieve squinted them together as she looked down. "Forgive me." Shee asked of him, now for real sobbing, the shock and horror first now overwhelming her.

"Oh no Lieve." He said in a horse voice, also his closing his eyes. "You saw." he realised, clearly the painful memories coming back to him. "Oh god you saw." he closed his eyes tight as he groaning fell back.

Lieve nodded and a cry escaped her mouth as she burrowed her face in her hands. "I admit, I had no idea." She sobbed. "I would never have imagined it to be so… so.." and she was simply unable to finish the sentence, crying out.

"It's all right." Remus swallowed turning away. "It is both dangerouse and horrible, and this thing is, it's not binding, I wont hate you or anything if you go."

Lieve looked gobsmacked on him, tears still falling down her eyes though her face was mostly in disbelief. "Ye think I would want to leave yer?" she asked. "Nay! I don't want to ever be apart from you." She said.

Remus's head turned around, only for him to hiss in pain again, but then his eyes opened nd he looked wide-eyed at Lieve.

"I want to help, that's all I want to do, and it looked so." Lieve bit her lip. "pain full." She swallowed. "No one should ever have to go through anything like tha' alone, and Remus.. when ye love someone, it hurts seeing them in pain." She held a hand over her heart. "It hurts so much right here, and all I want is to be here for you, I don't care if it means battling should such a mad thing as this happen again."

Remus looked at her.. looking like he both wasn't all there and also didn't quite understand before his eyes widened. "You battled the wolf." he realised.. "Oh no.. you didn't." he looked around. "Did you?"

"Ye were hurt." Lieve cherished gently his cheek. "And if students found ye they would have hurt ye even more.. maybe even tried to kill ye.. had teachers found ye they would have hurt ye.. or put ye together with the other werewolves.. and had the death eaters gotten to yer.. and ye transformed back among them with the other werewolves.. ye could so easily be mistaken" she extremely gently and lightly kept stroking him. "I just couldn't." she swallowed. "It had to be me."

clearly gathering strength to do so Remus tried to raise an arm.. and aimed his hand for her cheek.. as Lieve realised she quickly grabbed it and supported it toward her cheek nuzzling towards it. "What ever did I do to make you so willing to safe me?" he asked. "Even when being a.." he swallowed.

"I think it's only fair." Lieve looked at him. "Ye saved me, now I saved ye.. and we will probably both need a lot of saving in the future.. please don't be upset or go away because of this." Lieve begged. "I know yer dangerouse and I know yer scared for me safety but Remus." She brushed a strain of hair away from his pale exhausted face. "Just let me love ye…. please."

Remus smiled exhausted at her. "Somehow I think I don't even have that much of a say." His eyes seemed to grow heavy.

Slowly Lieve bowed down to plant a gently kiss on his forhead. "Sleep love." She whispered to him still holding his hand. "It doesn't seem like any-one is going to come here." She smiled vaguely. "I love you Remus."

He looked up.. right at her.. "I love you to." He told.. making Lieve smile ever so brightly.

"When all this is over." Lieve sniffed. "Lets get away from this place, lets travel some-where. Far away!"

"I would love that, but where?" Remus asked.

"I don't care, just some-where where no one knows who we are. We can study magic creatures together. I heard iceland should be a brilliant place to do that!" Lieve pointed out.

"Sounds... perfect." Remys told, and then fell into sweet, sweet sleep.


	69. Get up!

**_What happened in the missing Chapters;  
_**

**_The Siege by Hogwarts continues, and the death eaters have now settled comfortable in the castle, students still having to choice but to hide in the corridors.  
_**

**_Meanwhile Severus found the Horcrux, and now have to battle it, in order to destroy it. _**

* * *

The waves were smashing agains the cold rocks, the bitter wind tore and howled, threatened to destroy every-thing in its way, and the lonely frame whom stood there didn't seem like he had a chance.

He had been forced to his knees by a figure whom seemed to be made out of gold, with shining green eyes and hair dark red as the autumn… "_You betrayed me.. you killed me." _The figure mercilessly taunted Severus whom was holding his head in pain. "_And now you are doing it again! Look! Look at your precious foretress, under siege ones more! Just like last time! And it will again next time! Severus Snape this is your punishment for your crimes, against me, against every-body!" _the figure harshly told and Severus saw it, saw Hogwarts, invaded by werewolves, blood were spilled every-where, and there were bodies.. so many young bodies, Regulus had made it but he was to late, he laid over Lieve as had he tried to protect her while it happened, Remus Lupin had died years in advance..Minnerva, fallen from one of the many towers and at long last, on the field, laying on the grass, the blood running through her hair, her eyes wide starring up in the sky without seeing, glacial.. dead.

"I'm so sorry.. I'm so sorry." Severus whispered on his knee tears running down his eyes and pale skin.

"_Now you see?" _the woman asked. "_you will fail, like last time, the circle must repeat itself, you knew this all along, and yet you continued fighting." _

"I had to." Severus cried covering his eyes. "What else could I do?" he asked and laid down. "But what is the point.. it's as you said.. it must all repeat itself." He said as he laid down, down on the ground and was ready, ready for the medallion to just consume him.

"Sev.." a voice whispered, Severus looked up at the woman with the red hair and green eyes standing over him, but he was confused, it wasn't her whom had said it. "don't look at her Sev, close your eyes." The more soft voice asked. "Sev, would you really believe she was me? Is she any-thing like me?" she asked. Severus swallowed not answering. "Sev.. whom am I?" it asked.

"Lily.." Severus whispered, almost called out to her.

"What am I?" the voice asked.

"Unbendable." Severus whispered. "The sense of right and wrong Lily Evans possesses, all though some times miss-placed.. is so strong. You refuse to grow up, you will always do the morally right thing even when it's tactically wrong... you _are _incorruptible, and you are love and caring, she could never be you.." He closed his eyes and then suddenly found himself some-where else, at a grassy field, still laying down but looking up he saw her.

Lily.. but this Lily's features were soft and real, her long hair flowing lightly in the wind, her emerald green eyes sad, she looked like an angel, like light came from her being as she stood there, holding the hand of his younger self. "Another of my hallucinations.." Severus concluded.

"No Sev." Lily shook her head. "Our minds are linked remember.. you let your barriers down and I could hear your cries." She told. "Sev.. you must get up, I cannot win this battle for you.."

"I can't.." Severus fell to the ground. "I'm to tired.."

"Sev, you can't rest yet." Lily fell down on her knee in front of him. "Sev we are so damn close! You can't give up now! Not now!" she exclaimed. "Listen to me! If I could do this for you I would!" she told. "All you ever needed to do was asking.. but I can't do this.. I am going to do what I can here! Just don't stop me this time.. and then you need to get up! I cannot win this battle on my own!"

Severus barely managed to look up, and then sunk down.

"all right." Lily breathed and then bowed down as to try and touch him but Severus turned around. "I really do love you.. I always did, you were always there for me when it really mattered, so don't let me down now." Lily at last whispered and then looked up. "Here goes nothing!"

Severus opened his eyes and then suddenly he saw.. a doe.. a silver doe attacked the cup, roared and hammered its head right into the golden woman, shattering her into pieces.. none of it was Severus, it was all Lily holding a stand.. "Lily.." Severus whispered stretched a hand out towards her. "LILY NO!" he yelled. "SOULS ARE NOT SOME-THING TO GAMBLE LIKE THAT!"

The doe turned its head and looked at Severus.. just let me do my stuff.. it told him, and then it looked at the medallion, the golden woman seemed to see it to, and then lounged at the medallion, but the doe stepped and and threw the woman aside, now standing between her and the medallion.

Severus scrambled to his legs and got to the medallion, took it in his hands and looked at the woman whom couldn't get pass the doe.

He had the basilisk venom in hand, in a little vial.. it was right there over the book..

"Severus.." the golden woman spoke. "You are going to kill me again?" she asked. "For a third time, are you really going to kill me?" she asked.

Severus looked helplessly at her, at the woman whom stood before her.. with the green judging eyes.. she hated him.. why shouldn't she? He.. he couldn't do it..

Severus fell to his knees.. he could not do it..

Then suddenly some-thing rammed into him, a silver doe knocked him aside so he fell to the ground and dropped both vial and medialion, they crashed to the ground.. the vial broke and the venom spilled out, over the medallion.

"NO!" Severus screamed and looked up at the woman whom let out a scream. "NO LILY!" he reached up towards the woman whom twisted and turned in sheer agony. "not again.. not again." Severus cried as he covered his ears trying to keep the sound out.. trying so desperately.. but it cut through the darkness and every-thing.. and then it silenced… but the silence seemed worse than the scream.

Severus opened his eyes.. but was left stunned.. the silver doe had stayed with him. "Lily.." he whispered as he tried to reach for the doe, but his arm felt so heavy.. far to heavy. "Lily.." he whispered but his arm fell down, to heavy to lift and his vision grew darkere and darkere.. "Lily.." he whispered. "Any-one.. isn't there any-one?" he asked and then his vision and every-thing else.. turned compleately black.

A pair of small feet had found themselves to the lonely cliff side.. a spectacled perspecter stood over the un-moving body of Severus Snape..

The person stood over the black haired young man for a while, then bowed down and brushed his hair away from his face. "Severus.." a voice reminding of a breeze spoke..

Then Severus was picked up.. as was he nothing.. and as if it was nothing.. he was carried away.. away from the cold cliff side.. away from the harsh waves and the bitter wind.. away from where he laid so cold and vulnerable..

Where Severus's mind was.. it was darkness and nothing else.. he wanted to stay there. Only darkness, he didn't have to face any-thing again.. not any-thing.. couldn't he just stay here? Here where there were no worries.. no hurt.. no..

* * *

"LILY! LILY CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Lily felt herself being shaken into being, her eyes flew up and suddenly looked directly into James's face.

"Oh god Lily.." James fell back and was grabbed by Diane behind him. "don't scare us like that."

"What happened?" Lily asked slightly confused.

"You just sat." Sirius informed. "Starring wide-eyed out in the room.. but it was like you weren't really.. there.." he told.

"You barely breathed." Regulus replied in a slight frown. "You tell us what happened."

"I was at a cliff-side.. with Sev and.. where am I now?" Lily asked looking around slightly disorientated as she looked around, and suddenly she saw that she was in a large sealed room, all around her there was Hogwarts students, sitting in the corners, some wrapped in blankets, some holding each others hands for comfort.

There was Gryffindors, Rawenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Slytherins.. and so many off them, in all corners and spread across the entire floor like a blanket of people. "Is the whole school in here?" she asked in a breath.

"Almost." James sighed. "Lieve borrowed the invisibility cloak and map so she could go out and find Remus." He told. "Said the cloak could barely cover to grown men, so she would be the better choice to go.. and she really badly wanted to."

"It's morning?" Lily asked and looked around. "Is every-one…" she asked nervously.

Regulus smiled lightly. "Every-body is safe." He promised.

"No." Lily exhaled as she fell back against the wall and closed her eyes. "Not every-one.. but I can't help him when he wont let me."

Sirius looked rather confused as he lifted an eye-brow. "Who?" he asked.

"Sev." Lily told as she turned around wrapping her arms around herself and closing his eyes. "I wish I could help, I really do.. And I'll do what I can.. but without him taking the step himself.. there's nothing I can do." She whispered. "Sorry I frightened you." She mumbled.

"It's all-right." James breathed. "Just.. get some rest, you look like you need it."

Lily nodded and did what she was told.. she tried to search with her mind as she laid with closed eyes.. but suddenly she was cut off, there was nothing in front of her, nothing but thick darkness. Nothing to see, nothing to hear.. just nothing.

And there was nothing Lily could do but help here where they actually could use her right now.

* * *

_"You need to get up."_

Slowly Severus opened his eyes and discovered.. he was laying inside of a small hut.. in a bed.. the room looked old, un-used and like it was falling together, slowly he turned his head towards his saviour.. and his eyes widened.

"Oh thank Merlin." A spectacled person sighed relieved. "About time, I thought I had lost you."

Severus starred wide eyed at the figure before him, he had to double and triple check.. he hadn't felt this stunned since the day he had been send back to have another go at his life.

The person standing in front of him.. should not be there.. it should not be possible.. small and elegant as she was, her glasses back in place.. her smile light all though sad, her eyes slightly shining. "Penelope." Severus uttered as he saw the girl there standing before him, wearing a white dress, he hair flowing around her and her chocolate eyes looking worried at him.

"You've been out for like a month." Penelope told.

Severus was to stunned to respond to that, other questions was far more important. "How?" he asked lost for air. "Your dead."

"I am." Penelope acknowledged, and first now did Severus notice she seemed a little see through, but not entirely as a ghost. "I am not really sure how this happened to be honest." She looked around. "I was just minding my own business when I heard your voice, calling for help, for any-body, and here I am." Her eyes quinted and suddenly widened before her hand reached for Severus's pocket, and out she drew the cracked ring.. the old horecrux. "This stone." She whispered. "It brought me here."

"This?" Severus reached out and took the ring before looking at it. "So this enables me to talk to the dead?" he asked stunned.

"Something like that." Penelope acknowledged. "I am pretty much dead, sorry." She told in a sad voice. "I just came here to help.. I don't belong here, you will need to send me back."

Severus swallowed. "Penelope." He asked. "Why would you do something like that? Going for Nagini."

"She was a horecrux." Penelope told him. "I felt it as she crawled over me, She needed to be destroyed."

"She was?" Severus asked.

Penelope nodded. "I know for sure as part of Voldemorts soul followed me to the other side, you should see." She looked bittersweet. "It's pathetic.. it's." she for the first time looked disturbed. "And no one can help him, there's nothing to do." She told sadly.

"You don't fell sorry for him do you?" Severus asked. "He ruined our lives, he is a cold selfish man, and I mean, I may appear cold most of the day, but he is to the core.. he _killed_ you! And even more importantly, he doesn't even give a care about it."

"Being dead isn't bad at all." Penelope told in a sigh. "Unless.. " she swallowed. "He did it to himself you know, so it's his own fault that even death can't bring him peace as it was supposed to."

"Peace." Severus sighed. "I remember, it was so peaceful." He longlingly thought back upon his short visit to the other side and then glanced longingly at Penelope. "To make me go back like this, that was cruel." He told in a solemn voice. "More cruel than anything you could ever inflict on any living being."

Penelope sighed deeply as she sat on Severus's bed ledge her hands in her own lap. "I know." She told. "People always spend so long a time being sad about the dead, but the truth of the matter is that dead is dead, we can't be hurt.. living is the hard part."

"Dead is dead." Severus snorted. "Then what am I doing here?" he asked. "I never asked to be here at all, finally I was satisfied."

"No you weren't." Penelope shook her head. "That is the only reason, even in death you were not in peace.. so." She muttered. "You're here to find peace."

"And how am I going to do that?" Severus asked looking at Penelope with hopeless eyes. "It's all to hopeless.. it'll all repeat itself. Is this my punishment?" he asked. "Is this hell? Watching the same thing unfold over and over, I might try other options from time to time, but in the end, I am doomed to fail and then watch it repeat itself, is that the hell designed for me?" he asked. "Am I really that special? what an honour." He groaned closing his eyes.

Penelope looked back at her with heavy eyes. "I promise, this is only hell as long as you let it be, it can also become your heaven, you need to confront instead of sneaking around.. And now is the time Severus, it's now."

"Penelope! How can I fine peace?" Severus asked. "When Lily is in danger of dying again, I can't go through it twice, then no, there will never be peace for me." Severus stated. "Not ever!" he yelled as he sat up. "Not one dammned _moment_ in my life did I ever have peace!" he hissed as he threw a cup at Penelope, and it harmlessly drifted straight through her. "That's all I wanted! To finally rest, but could the world grant me that simple thing? No of cause not!" he hissed. "Let me rest! Let me perish in peace." He asked.

"Severus.." Penelope tried.

_"Please."_ Severus turned around to face away from her. "Just leave me, I'm to tired, I can't get up."

"But Severus, you must." Penelope tried.

"I said I _can't _do it!" Severus hissed as he closed his eyes tight. "I gave all I could, and now I have nothing more! Leave me!" he stated. "Just! … for ones leave me be." He asked as his kept his eyes closed and drifted away.. god he was so tired.. he would never get up again, never ever, he was way to tired, way to worn out.

* * *

**"NO!"**

_Severus opened his eyes and were suddenly at a grassy field.. but the stream.. he was there again.. and above him.. stood his younger self._

_"NO DON'T GIVE UP NOW!" the little one hissed. "Lily would be ashamed! She needs you!" he yelled. "You bloody coward! Why wont you face it?" he asked._

_Severus didn't answer but turned around.. And his at this place snow-white hair fell down his face.. he could glimpse his withered hand.._

_"The horecrux's are gone" Penelopes voice reminded him. "You can do this." _

_"No.." Severus whispered back. "I can't.. nothing ever goes right in this world."_

_Then suddenly Severus felt some-thing grapping his shoulders and forced him to turn around.. where he was faced with his little younger self ones again whom desperately shook him, the little boy, show-cased impressive determination and strength as he pestilence shook Severus with all of his might._

_"You have to get up and help them!" the kid exclaimed desperately. "I can't do a thing, I'm just a fragment of your mind! That part you decided to separate from the rest of your-self and lock away!" Little Sev exclaimed lifting in Severus's arm. "But even though you try to hide me away, I can never go, ever and I don't want to! You don't even want me to, not really! I am the part whom wont ever give up! I WONT EVER GIVE UP! I am you telling you to get the damn up! Please get up! Please!" he asked desperately. "You are the one who has to get up! You are the one whom can do stuff in the physical world! You just have to! Please!"_

_"I can't." Severus whispered._

_"But I am you!" little Severus tried. "Telling you to get up!"_

_Severus sighed. "I am to tired, I all-ready did my bit one time, why do I need to do it twice?" he asked._

_"Because you were weighed down, but now you are just more weighed down than ever." The child tried to explain. "Why not just do it for Lily." Little Sev asked. "As you always have, just take my hand." He reached a hand towards Severus. "Please, take it. Just take it it's all you ever needed to do." The kid almost cried. "If you don't take it Lily will die again! Please! Just take my hand!" he cried._

_Severus how-ever closed his eyes, his arm felt like led, he couldn't even lift it on his own, he didn't even want to try._

_"And mine." Severus opened his eyes again and managed to look up at the second presence. Suddenly Lily, looking warm and angel like.. Grown and warm smiled assuredly down at him as her hand was out-stretched reached towards him so close. "Thank goodness I thought this place was gone for-ever." She sighed as she looked at him in a warm smile, her dark red-hair framing her face falling down, as the sun behind her made the illusion that she glowed. "But you really need to get up." Lily commented. "Take my hand Sev, please!" she asked stretching it down towards him, as Severus blinked at them._

_"To bad you have run out of hands." Penelope chuckled as she appeared on a tree-stump in the back-ground of the scene, "I'd give you mine to."_

_"You could try and offer him a foot?" Regulus suggested as he stood beside her, tightly holding her hand._

_"Argh, hasn't he suffered enough, why start poking stinking socks up in his face?" Lieve asked beside Regulus hanging on his shoulder._

_"Sounds like fun actually." Sirius commented as James Potter laughed, but not any evil laugh, a friendly laugh as his eyes showed pleading towards Severus._

_"You are able to safe people, you did safe a lot of people." Remus Lupin told from where he stood holding the shoulders of little Evelyn whom looked at Severus with big blue eyes._

_"Please get up warrior out of time." She asked as she stretched out and grabbed her mothers hand._

_"Get up." Andrea responded as she held her daughters hand. And behind them, several people appeared, people Severus did not know, but they seemed to know him._

_"You gave us the wolfsbane." A Black skinned man in the foreground told. "Not because you wanted a cure for yourself, or even wanted to help, but regardless you gave us hope." And for those people it didn't seemed to matter that that hadn't been Severus's intention at all, all that mattered was the positive difference he had made to their life._

_"Son, you are to young to be tired of life." Augustus rolled his eyes from where he stood together with the Evans family. "Even if you are technically over forty, that's still very young you know." He grumpily waved his cane at Severus as the Evan's all nodded, even Petunia._

_Arthur Weasly shook his head as he stood with his wife and children. "You better get up now, it's no use lazing around."_

_"You are to freaking stubborn to give up now!" Lola exclaimed with wide-spread out arms. "Don't do it now you old grumpy git!"_

_"She's right you know." Diane Diggory responded with crossed arms. "You are as stubborn as they come." And right behind her all of the phoenix fighters and more, Hogwarts students of many ages and all houses, all looking pleadingly at him.. don't give up now._

_Severus managed to look around and see that all of the people out to hurt him was gone, manned away by all of these people, where-ever he looked there was people, and he knew every single one of them._

_There was his mother standing beside in front of Dumbledore and smiled at him. "We are all with you in spirit." She told._

_So many people. Every single one of them asked him to get up and then he looked up to meet Lily's startling green eyes, her hand still stretched out towards him. "Please." She asked softly. "Let it go, all of it. Lets start anew."_

_Severus looked at her, her green eyes her soft features, then her outstretched hand.. willing to help him stand if he would let it, if he would just let it go.. all the bad stuff.. and take the hand, Lilys eyes was festooned on him and their eyes met._

_It was like a complete vacuum of silence between them, they were in their own bobble.. and Lilys eyes.. her wonderful eyes, they told an entire story on their own._

_Lily knew now, she didn't before.. knew what he was, what he had done, how he often felt, she had felt it herself, she had taken decisions on her own, some of them bad and she had seen.. She had suffered on her own, she was no longer a little girl needed to be protected, she was a wise strong grown woman.. and she understood now._

_And still, even though she knew, she forgave him, with that single look, she forgave him, pleading him to get up. And this time around.. her forgiveness, Penelopes forgiveness, went to Severus's stomach, made his heart twist and his throat tighten, he looked at those eyes.. those brilliant green eyes, felt all the other eyes upon him._

_They understood.. understood his burden, they cried for him as she stood there.. he felt the tears forming in his eyes, and it was like a stone fell from his heart.._

_"Sev." Lily spoke. "I know you can't bear another failure.. it's all been so hard on you that you can't even hope any-more. You've lost faith."_

_"I tried to believe in you." Severus hoarsly whispered. "it was just so hard."_

_"Not faith in me silly." Lily stated amused. "Have faith in yourself." She asked of him. "Sev, there's always hope." She told. "I'm here, I'm all-right. And we are going to be all-right." She told. "You thought I was the only one mattering in your life, the only one you could love.. but look around." She waved at all of the people. "They all matter to you, and you matter to them! You did all you could to safe me, to keep me safe, to keep these people safe." Lily gestured. "You saved Harry, you saved the children of Hogwarts, you saved me and you saved every-one." She told. "Look.. look my love." She gestured at all of the people around her. "And now.. Sev my love, let it go." She whispered reaching ford a welcoming hand, asking him to take it. "All of it." She told in a smile, reaching that hand to him as she smiled down at him._

_A heavy burden fell, suddenly it all seemed so obvious, the past was the past, and with all of this, the future had hope, it really had! It had to!.. and Severus.. let go. For the firs time, he simply let go, of all the dark feelings, all that had happened._

_Let go from the ground.. from the heavy ground, at last he lifted his arm all though it felt so heavy and grabbed Lily's hand, and she smiled in return as she pulled him upwards, but it was still not enough, this body was tired and frail beyond reason. "No." Severus hissed to himself. "Lily is counting on me.. I can't give up." He stated as he with great difficulty, lifted his other arm, and grabbed Lilys wrist, now holding onto her with both hands, trying to pull himself up._

_"Then just lean on me, let me help you." Lily pressed on, and Severus did what she said, true, she were not an decorative angel made out of glass, she was a strong woman, and she only grew more radiant when she was allowed to do her purpose, her purpose of helping those she loved, she didn't mind at all how he clinged to her arm, and pilled with all of his might.. she didn't even wince by his harsh pulls._

_Severus grunted as he struggled, trying with all of his might, why did it have to be so hard? Why.._

_"Grab my hand to!" Little Sev exclaimed reaching towards Severus, that little kid Severus so despised.. had tried to put away.. but now Severus knew, he needed that kid! He needed the kid to let go of his old haggard way. And Severus.. Finally, reached towards the boy and firmly grabbed the little ones hand, and suddenly it was like magic happened, the moment Severus had grabbed his younger selves hand, his own hand started to smoothen out, a source went through his body, his hair turned back into black as the little boy grinned and faded away into him. Severus looked back up at Lily whom was still pulling in his arm and at last grabbed her arm with both his hands, then in one final pull he was pulled all the way up on his legs to much cheer and clapping of the people around them, Severus exhaled as he smiled thankfully at them, flexing his young looking fingers, some-how he suddenly felt so light, he couldn't help but smile as he looked at those clapping people, lightly bowing his head at many of them, briefly caught eye contact with a few.. Augusuts.. Remus.. Diane.. Penelope.. Even Lola could get a slight nodge and a lifted eye-brow, before he looked at Lily who laughed with him, and he couldn't help but smile lovingly and appreciative at the woman as he gently reached forward a hand, and touched her chin in a gentle manner._

_Lily just let him as she smiled at him, her eyes shining like two stars, and the rest of her like a sun. "You realise of cause this isn't real." Lily told Severus._

_Severus nodded as he held her hands in his own. "But you are, aren't you?" he asked._

_In response Lily smiled and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. "Now go out and make it real, finish it!" she told him and stepped forward to kiss him on the lips, a kiss that send warmth down his back._ Severus closed his eyes ones, only to be some-where completely different when he opened them again he was down on the ground in the little sheet, he blinked and looked around, Penelope was still beside him.

"Were you just?" Severus asked confused as he pointed as his head.

"Maybe." Penelope smiled a little amused.

"Erh.. why aren't you gone yet?" Severus asked as he swung his legs over the bed. "Not that I don't want to see you, but I have to get back to Hogwarts fastest possible!" he told pointing himself over the shoulder.

"One last thing.. just a little information for you on your way." Penelope smirked. "I know where you come from." She whispered. "Another place, another world."

Severus blinked. "How?" he asked a little confused.

"Lets just say it has it's advantages to be dead." Penelope blinked at him. "I know every-thing, can't believe you were such a lousy teacher.. and such a brute. You don't need to be you know." She pointed out.

Severus rolled his eyes. "I get it." He told. "I promise I put colours in my wardrobe, I'll get a sunny side cottage, what-ever you people want!"

Penelope chuckled. "I'm sure you will manage." She told. "I just wanted you to know. He won" Penelope at last told. "Harry Potter won, there was no way for Voldemort to win, because as it turned out, it was the entire world against Voldemort, you were not the only death eater to work against him. And Harry Potter, he is now taking his price by living his life without fear, raising his children in a world that is safe." She smiled warmly. "And he remembers, he remembers you… though I am afraid to say his memories are not nearly as fond is mine." She chuckled. "Severus really? You were such an annoying teacher? I mean I knew you could go low towards people you don't like, but it honestly surprised me how low." She chuckled.

"But how does that even?" Severus blinked.

"The place you came from." Penelope blinked. "It's still just as real as this place! All you did back there, it still matters, you redeemed yourself there so throughout, you never even needed to do it here! And for the record, I don't blame you for any-thing, I never did! Severus I love you, same way as all your other friends does!"

Severus blinked a little wide-eyed at her. "I don't know what to.." he tried to say, but struggled with the words.

"You don't need to say any-thing, your actions speaks clearly for themselves." Penelope told in a smile. "Dying, that was my own choice, I knew all along that I would die ones I went for that snake, there's nothing to forgive, nothing there is your fault, I don't blame it, in fact I am proud." She bowed over and kissed Severus on his fore-head. "I'm so glad I got to know you, all of you, and I'll miss you all, but only till we'll see each other again." She blinked. "Then you can tell me about the great life you had. And Regulus, please ask him from me to have a great life, the best!" She blinked, and then slowly, ever so slowly, started to fade away. "Till we meet again!" she waved at him in a grin.

Amused Severus shook his head, suddenly feeling so light-hearted. "Thank you." He whispered. "Sorry to have dragged you all the way down here.." he spoke unsure to it, the ring glinted in return, as if saying.. that is all-right.. and yes.. it was. Except. Severus was kind of in a hurry now!

* * *

And some-where else.. at the towers of Hogwarts.. Lily woke up from her dream, wide-eyed and stark breathed, she stood up on her legs and looked around.

"Lily?" Lieve asked a bit groggily from her sleeping spot.

But Lily didn't answer she just ran over the sleeping bodies towards the door, flung it open and ran out in the hall-way, she ran through the hall-ways and up the stairs, high up the stairs, till she reached one of the tower roofs, from where she could see the star clear sky, below her all the dementors.. the werewolfs whom had camp down there, the trolls, and she looked up, looked towards the forest and the sky.

"LILY!" James, Sirius, Remus, Regulus and Lieve with Peter on her shoulder came running through the door.

"Lily, what happened?" Regulus asked.

"Ya gave us a right fright there ya did." Lieve stated.

Lily turned around and then looked at all of them, a smile played on her lips and she looked at them. "He's coming." She told.

"Who?" Sirius asked confused.

Lily turned back, and looked at the far end of the forest. "Sev.. he is coming." She told as her mouth spread in a smile. "Right now! He is headed this way, and he'll come, very soon now!" she almost yelled in a happy voice.

The rest of the marauders looked at each other. But then they looked at Lily, and collected went over to her to stand beside her, looking out at the forest.

"Well then we'll be ready for him with a warm welcome." James stated.

"Well, as warm as is possible.. with Hogwarts under siege and all of that." Sirius sniffed.

"Don't worry." Lily told as she viewed the forest. "Not only are we ready for it, he is to." She smiled.


	70. The end

**_What happened in the missing Chapters;_**

**_Severus found his way back to Hogwarts, though as it turns out that the Shrieking Shack was guarded by death-eaters, he fights himself through the forbidden forest, with the added help up the marauders and other comrades, before he at last reach the castle and the long away reunion happens. _**

* * *

All Severus could do, was to look at it, the door right in front of him. And on the other side.. was Lily.

So much had happened since he saw her last, he was willing to bet that both of them had changed. Severus took in a deep breath, and then pushed both doors open.

To at last stand back as he saw her, standing with her back to Severus, talking to a group of younger students.

One of the students looked up, and then caught eye of Severus's, only for that students mouth to drop as he started to pull in the sleeve of the girl next to him and pointed. The girl looked to, and her mouth as well dropped.

Soon several students realised he was there, and just looked at him in stunned awe, at last Lily noticed as well, that she didn't have every-bodys attention and then she finally looked up.

Green eyes met black.. a big knot formed in Severus's throat, he didn't even know what to say! he tried to keep away the tear that rolled down his cheek, but it didn't help.

Then at last Lily send him a while smile, as she pushed the students aside, and walked all the way up to Severus, to finally stand inches away from him.

She looked so beautiful, so different than before, much more grown, much more mature, and yet still like Lily. And she smiled at him, with that teasing smile of hers. "Better late than never I guess."

Severus let out a dry amused laughter. "Lily." he shook his head. "Look, i'm so sorry." he told. "What I did.. it was stupid, i should have been smarter than that, I."

At that Lily placed a finger on Severus's lips. "You did what you thought was right." she told. "You always do what you think is the most right, and we have both made some serious mistakes." she told as she removed the finger.

"Lily I love you!" Severus splurted. "So very much! I can't stand the thought of not being with you again."

Lily smiled, then tiptoed to kiss Snape, before she stood back. "I know." she whispered. "And I love you to." she told.

To much cheering of the students around them.

* * *

_**What happened in the missing Chapters;  
**_

_**Within minutes Voldemort as gotten wind that Severus is now at Hogwarts, and is attacking to get to Severus. **_

_**Every-one is now fighting for their future and freedom at hogwarts. **_

* * *

Severus was forced to take cover with Lily behind a pilar, he cluched her close in his arms, refusing to let any harm come to her, peering up he just managed to see Remus come running.. and a Death eater point his wand at him.

"No! Remus!" all ready as Severus was reaching for his wand, he all ready knew it was to late. A green light was heading straight for Remus's back, and even Remus with his fast speed and the last second warning had no way of dodging, the spell merciless zoomed towards him..before bouncing off and being sent straight back towards the death eater who just managed to duck, and Remus made a jump and rolled to his feed before sending a stunner at the confused death eater.

Confused was also what Severus was, he knew a Avade Kedavra curse when he saw it! That was Avada Kedavra, and there's no way to deflect that! Remus did shortly look around and briefly caught Severus's eye, before nodding and then ran along, blissfully unaware he was that close at being dead!

How the hell?

"Sev." Lily's voice sounded. "what happened?"

Severus shook his head. "I honestly don't know." he answered her.. how did it happen. The only person before it had worked like that for was Harry potter, but how did it work back then?

And further more.. he had won back in the old world, Harry potter had won, but he would have to have died in order for the Horcrux to vanish.. so if you could kill only part of him, but how? How? How did it work?

Something about blood protection.. something about.

_"I just thought of all of you."_

the voice rang in Severus's inner ear.. Harry potter.. Lily.. That was the key.. "It's not a killing curse." he suddenly whispered.

"What?" Lily asked.

"Avada Kedavra.." Severus whispered. And he looked straight at Lily meeting her eyes. "It's not a killing curse!"

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"It was not created as a killing curse." Severus stated. "It's just what dark wizards have perverted it to be through time."

"I don't follow." Lily looked at him. "Is this bad or good?"

"For our situation, it is very good." Severus swallowed. "Or not really, because it does take lives, I mean." he took a deep breath. "It's so simple." he stated. "I get it now, how he survived!"

"Who?" Lily asked.

"Harry Potter!" Severus whispered. "It was not just by himself, it was _you_ helping him all along, it always mattered how you refused to step away, as you always do, that's who you are! The woman whom bloody refused to step away!" he told. "Just as she.." he closed his eyes. And as he opened them again he was faced with Lily's intense stare. He looked softly at her grapping her hands. "Lily listen, I know I have been asking much of you, much more than I should have.. but now, just one last time." he looked into her eyes. "I ask you to trust me, and when this is over, I promise never to let go again."

"You know I trust you." Lily squinted his hands. "What ever you need to do." she sighed. "Go on, I'll wait for you." she said surely. "We didn't come this far just to give up now."

"No we didn't." Severus shook his head. "Come on." he raised up and took her hand as he hauled her onto her legs. He sighed deeply. "Stay put." he asked of her. "Don't interfere."

Lily nodded. "Okay." she said. "But only this once."

"It have never mattered so much before." he nodded. "And please just trust me, I know it will be hard, but you just need to trust me. I am going to take you with me as far as I can, because I know that's what you want, but when I can't take you, you must stay hidden, and you can't intervene, even though I know you will want to!"

Lily nodded again, her eyes never leaving his face. "okay." she repeated.

A fond smile crossed Severus's face. "That's my Lily." he said softly. "A true Gryffindor, so brave." he slipped his hand through her hair. "Not to mention kind and beautiful."

"Slippery snake." she commented. "Though I think that's how I like you." and they both shared a deep kiss.

"Come on." Severus whispered as it was over, and he took her hand, to run for the entrance hall, first as they reached the top of the stairs did they stop, people underneath was to busy bussing around to even notice.. all of the death eaters. Severus swallowed. "This is it." he said. They were all down there, Bellatrix, Yaxley.. the students, the teachers.. gray back.. dementors.. even a single giant towered over all of them there in the entrance hall, all the recognisable faces, Severus could see James holding Diane, and Remus holding Lieve, he could see Lucius frightened looking around, and crouch smiline a wide grin.. everyone. And the death eaters had to control, pointing their wands at the students and staff huddled together, only one important person was missing. "all or nothing." Severus whispered.

"What are you going to do?" Lily asked.

"Something completely crazy." he shrugged. "Well, if it goes wrong at least I wont have to worry about it."

"I am not so sure I like the new you." Lily commented.

"You and me both." Severus looked at all the many death eaters. "But as I said, this is it, you stay here." he pushed her behind the pillar. "It's as far as I can take you, if it goes accordingly you wont miss a thing, I am putting a lot of faith in you here."

"Thanks for that." Lily rolled her eyes.

"No Lily, listen to me, and do what I say." He pleaded. "If you step out now, I will become distracted and it will be the end, I need to trust you to stay here, no matter what happens, I know you want to run out there and help, I know you are capable, but right now I need you to be my strength, the same way you always have." He kissed her on the forehead. "Do that for me, this one last time."

Lily blinked. "What are you going to do?" she whispered the question ones again.

Severus offered her a defeated smirk. "Trust me."

And Lily flung her arms around him to draw him into one last kiss, before letting go. Giving him one single nod, and Severus nodded in return, before stepping away, to stand on top of the stairs, looking out on all of them, the buzzing and talking being everywhere, filling up the front hall. He took a deep breath, and then yelled. "SILENCE!" he yelled out. "I AM TALKING NOW!" he yelled out. "LOOK AT ALL OF YOU, DEATH EATERS! THOSE WHO TAKE HOGWARTS TAKE THE ENTIRE WIZARDING WORLD!".he roared getting everyones attention. "THE PERSON WHO WINS TODAY, TAKES IT ALL, BUT GUESS WHAT!? BAD NEWS! HOGWARTS IS NOT YOURS! IT BELONGS TO NO DARK LORD AND WE ARE PEOPLE WHO FIGHT!"

Everyone was looking at him, the students, the teachers, the death-eaters, the dark creatures, in complete stunned silence.

"It's me Severus Snape!" Severus smirked spreading out his arms. "So? Who wants to have a go? Who's coming to fight me" he asked, as no one moved. "Do Voldemort even dare?"

"Don't you ever mention his name!" Bellatrix hissed.

"Oh?" Severus rose an eyebrow. "Who's gonna stop me!?" he asked. "You? What are you doing down there then? Voldemort? Hah!" he let out a barg laughter. "He fears me, he is to much of a coward to face me, face to face, one on one, oh he remembers, Remembers how I tricked him not only once but over and over, it was me." Severus flashed a grin. "Who defeated him over and over, every black day, every great defeat, every punch and every hurt! I was behind what hurt the most, destroyed his horcruxes one by one, his very sould, me! Severus Snape! So who is going to come for me now." he took a deep breath. As he stood up proud and straight looking out in the room. "Does he even dare? that coward.. COWARD! FACE ME YOU COWARD!" he roared. "JUST LOOK AT ME! NO PLAN, NO BACK UP, NO NOTEWORTHY WEAPONS! Just one thing, I don't have anything to loose. And I am now swearing, oh am I swearing, this ends today! One way or another, _it ends NOW!_" he said surely, and everyone could hear. "So why don't you face me voldy!? You bloody coward.. COWARD!"

"No one calls Lord Voldemort a coward and lives." a voice hissed behind to crowd, so unnatural that it made several people shiver, but not Severus, he stood as tall and proud as ever as he witnessed the flock separated to allow clear view of Voldemort who stood in the middle of the giant door, look at Severus with the red eyes which shine even Severus could see.

"Tom." Severus nodded. "How good of you to come." and he slowly walked down the stairs, while Voldemort walked towards him.

Voldemort looked pissed as hell by the mention of his real name, his face looked more awfull than ever and he bit together. "Any last wishes Snape." he asked. "I must admit I am dissapointed, I did not know you had such a strong death wish."

"I admit until recently I had." Severus told. "But not any longer, you're the one who is going to die today." and they both stood in the middle of the front hall, the other people sourounding them but allowing them the big circle.

"And how is that?" Voldemort asked.

"Your going to kill yourself." Severus simply told.

Voldemort sqiuzzed his eyes. "And why would I ever do that."

"You wont mean to." Severus looked at him. "But ultimately that is what is going to happen Tom." he shrugged. "It's the way you work, no matter how you do it you're killing yourself, ripping your own soul to pieces, willingly! Who is dim enough to do that? you're followers turning from you, everyone laying aside differences to fight you and thus become stronger, you're alone Tom, and therefore you are weak. You are going to die, because I am no longer alone." he smirked. "But I wont just stand here and let you fire at me, no, I am going to make you feel pain, a pain worse than anything you can imagine, unlike anything you tried, a pain you have not ever been able to induce to your followers, because I have something that you don't, prepaire yourself, tears will run down your eyes soon enough."

"That sounds like the desperate poets way of searching hope for filth." he snorted, "And you still failed to explain how you suppose I should kill myself." he drawled sarcastic.

"You will try to kill me." Severus answered. "Only you can't, you can't touch me! No one of your followers can!"

"You really think yourself that powerful?" Voldemort sneered.

"No." Severus shook his head. "Maybe in a short time I could be." he shrugged. "But it really doesn't matter, even if all my magic were taken from me right this instance, you could still not touch me, and you would still ending up killing yourself."

"Explain." Voldemort demanded.

"Fine." Severus shrugged. "Avada Kedavra." he stated. "It's not a killing curse." he smirked. "It's ultimate protection, if you willingly give your life in order to protect someone else to that curse, that someone else will be safe, no matter what happens." he looked at Voldemort. "One an a half year ago, it happened." he smiled widely. "You were beaten Tom! By a fourteen year old girl of muggle birth!" Severus spread out his arms. "You're going to try and Avada Kedavra me now, but because of the protection she laid on me it will be send right back into your face." he smirked. "Don't say I didn't warn you or gave you a fair chance, you can leave now do you wish, it would might be good of your to try some remorse, it's the way to redeem yourself you know." Severus sighed. "But I know you neither will run nor remorse, I know you to well, you will kill yourself." Severus looked at him. "So come on then." he demanded. "give me your best, shoot Avada Kedavra, just try it if your dare. You coward."

Voldemort looked first disbelieving at him, then his eyes squinted in anger. "We'll see." he sneered. "I guess we can give you that fairytale in your finale seconds." and he raised his wand. "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

And as it if was a game, as if the green curse was nothing Severus gracefully stepped aside. "Oh no, I forgot! I promised you a pain unlike anything you could ever comprehend, dying is to easy on you." Severus stated as he smirked lightly, his mind was in a odd place for a battle, instead of being filled with fury and use it as a fuel, his head was in a tranquillity fuelled by inner strength, and that made his senses sharpen a hundred foul, it was not occlumency and yet he was not distracted by confusing emotions at all, he knew precisely what was going on around him, as in a dance her swung his wand and released a red curse, Voldemort fired an avada Kadavra back, which Severus again gracefully avoided, and he summoned the flames, the blue flames in front of him taking shape as a raven, flying towards Voldemort.

Voldemort put up his shield to protect himself, but the Raven merely transformed into a ball of sheer power which slammed Voldemort across the room, finally a counter attack came, in form of a firery snake.

Severus immediately put up his wall made of pure ice, and as the firey snake broke into the ice, it broke up into several hundred blue birds, all charging for Voldemort with sharp icy beaks and wings, cutting into Voldemorts clothes and flesh, blood starting to drip. "Is that all?" Voldemort asked as he wiped the blood of his lip. "Your threats of bringing me to tears has little value, The Dark lord has no tears."

"No." Severus whispered. "And that is why you can only fail, look around you, look at your so called followers." He smirked. "they are silently praying that I will win, they have all turned from you, you are alone!" he raised his arms commanding the flames which suddenly turned into a blue firery doe, which started to run in circles around Snape and Voldemort, faster and faster it went creating the circle of fire forcing every watcher to retrieve further Voldemort and Severus to step closer towards each other as the circle became smaller.

The beams flew towards both Severus and Voldemort and was either blocked or avoided.

And suddenly both Severus and Voldemort was trapped inside of the circle, only a few steps from each other.

"And what do you plan now?" Voldemort asked. "There is no more dodging from such a distance, the next blow will be the finishing." He laughed his smooth laugh.

"I told you I would make you fell a pain, unlike anything you had ever imagined." Severus returned. "You wanted to know what it is I got you don't, what we got you don't, why I'm going to show you! You are not the only one who is a master of the mind." And he grabbed Voldemorts shoulders, his black eyes locking itself with Voldemorts brown. "LOOK!" Severus demanded. "Get into my head! FEEL MY PAIN! FEELL MY STRENGHT!" he roared and he opened up, showing everything to Voldemort, all the childhood memories, him and Lily, all of the emotions involved. The warm summerday with the sun shining on his skin, Lily's pearl laughter, the feeling of safety in her presence, away from the dark home, the insecurity as he asked if she could stay with him a frightening cold night filled with scary thunder, she said yeas imideately and thankful relief poured through the small Severus's body. She had gone on vacation with her family, Severus had missed her while he was left alone to his own devices. She came home with a little present to him in form of a supposed magical crystal, Severus felt amused as it was muggle and not magical at all, but it touched him and he was thankful that she had been thinking about him at all. He felt the anguish of loosing her, knowing it was all his own fault that he had lost her, that she was gone from this world, and a re-joice, a happiness above anything as he saw her again. Tears, so many tears coming straight from his heart, he felt it.

A scream sounded, a terriefied inhuman scream, filled with anguish beyond measure, it was not Severus who screamed, it was the supposed dark lord who was trying to close his eyes, but Severus forced him further.

_"Take it!"_ Severus hissed. "Your only chance of salvation, if you dare to take it!" he yelled and pushed his emotions into Voldemorts head… Evelyn, the sorrow over her fate sat so early in life, and yet there is hope in her childish make believe, hope what a feeling, so untangiable, so indescribable, it sits right in the heart.. Penelope! She was crazy, it was amusing and inspiring, We laughed, laughed so hard, it bubbled from the chest and was a feeling so big it would have to come out through the mouth, it felt good, happiness? Feel that happiness, and now feel the anguish when she was gone! That hole in the chest, something missing.. and she forgave me, appreciation. Remus, fell how he annoys you and yet get under your skin, I want to slap that beast over his head, over and over, for no reason really, I just do.. fell how it is to be human, how to fell for others.

Voldemort tried to turn around, turn away, he tried to close of by Severus continued, as the pearling laugher of Lily reasonated through both their minds, more emotions than a human should be allowed to bear, it made Severus cry to confront all of this, and yet he continued, continued showing, continued sharing, forcing all of the feelings into Voldemorts skull, all though Voldemort was screaming, screaming and crying from all of the pain.

"STOP!" he screamed. "I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!"

this winternight in the tent, Lieve felt it necessary to tell a story, it annoyed me, but it also made me laugh.. feel that emotion, a merry Christmas between the two fighters, it was a light in the darkness, it was nice.. and he ended.. on a warm summer day. He was ten, and so was Lily.

_"It's scary to think we are going to be all alone there at that magic school." Lily fidgeted nervously._

_"Don't worry." Severus answered. "You know we'll always be together right?"_

_"I know." Lily smiled shyly. "I wouldn't have it any other way." She hugged him fondly, and Severus sighed appreciating returning the hug._

_"Me to." He told. "If you didn't come with me, I would probably be scared to, I'm so glad I met you."_

_And later, much later, very recently, one single word spoken with such sincerity that it had to be the truth. "I love you."_

_And Severus loved her to, he loved all of them, in strange ways, each kind of love different, it was an emotion so big that it couldn't be described, it was beautiful and it was terrible, it soothed and it stung, it breaks me and heal me, I can't control it, it just happens. I love.. feel it._

"ARRRRGGGHHHHH!" Voldemort screamed as Severus had finally let go.

As the tears was rolling down Voldemorts eyes as he wrinched in the pain gasping for air, screaming. Severus stood back as he observed the pitiful creature on the floor, not crying at all, just observing. And then suddenly.. Voldemort had stopped moving, he just laid there on the floor.

"I knew it." Severus sighed. "You could not withstand the pain, what a pity." He bowed down slightly touching Voldemorts neck feeling for a puls, before he raised up and observed all of the people who had been watching. "He's gone." He simply said. "It's over."

And there was just.. complete silence. Everyones eyes starred at the fallen Voldemort, and then at Severus, it was like the entire world was holding it's breath in the vacumn on time, and no one could break this overwhelming silence.

Severus took a deep breath, and the weird sure state Severus had been in suddenly broke, he let out a gasp as an emotion of sheer disbelif came over him. "I'ts over." He repeated in what was barely a whisper. "I'm free." It was the truth.. Voldemort, was quite dead, laying before Severus's feet's.

"SEV!" Lily called from the stairs, where she so bravely had stayed hidden witnessing it all, but now rushed down, almost falling down the stairs. "SEV!" she reached out her arms while she spurted towards him, and then threw herself at him while embracing him in a tight hug, making Severus loose all of his air.

And suddenly it seemed like the pin had dropped and a big roar was let out. "HIS DEAD HIS DEAD!" the cheering sounded from the Marauders. "VOLDY VOLDY IS DEAD!"

Severus just cluctched Lily tight as his tears had free range, he rocked her back and ford as he held her so tight, crying.

"Sev." Lily also held him tight. "It's all right, let it out."

"You were so brave." Severus told her.

"So were you." Lily told him.

He just held her, so tight. "I was a fool, I couldn't have done it without the strenght you gave me." he told her. "I know that now." and he breathed in another sob. "I never thought I would live to see as much as one single day without Voldemort looming in the shadows." and as he said it the tears rolled down his cheeks, as the day he saw Lily again.

"Better get used to it." Lily responded. "That's the world we life in now." she smiled up to his face. "A world without Voldemort."

Severus felt the unctrolable tremble go through his body, and he held his hand to his eyes as he smiled, though the tears were running. "I'm free." he smiled. "We'r really free."

"SEVERUS!" a loud cheer sounded beside him, and Severus just barely managed to glance up thought still held Lily tight with his arms, before he felt James Potters arm slapping him on the back with a heavy hand making Severus loose all of his breath. "WHAT A MOMENT WHAT A CHAMPION!" he grinned so loud it was ringing in Severus's ears. "Mate that was brilliant!"

Sirius was close by and let out a barg laughter sounding more than ever as the dog he could transform into. "That was amazing! Oh wow Severus!" he laughed loudly. "You got balls mate!"

Severus just starred stunned at him.. had he just been praised by Sirius Black? The world had gone mental.

Petrigrew seemed like he was just about to faint from all the excitement but grinned none the less. "Thank you." Was his only two words as his eyes looked sincerily and thankful at Severus as Sirius laughing held the rats shoulder.

"SEVERU!" the orange haired menage hugged him, which were pretty impressive considering that he was still holding Lily. "Ye scared the living daylight out of me ye did, ye twat!" she said kicking him lightly over the leg, it didn't hurt at all.

Remus grinned behind her. "Me to." he said pulling Lieve away himself so her could gain room. "I thought you were gone mad, but brilliant." he clapped Severus on the shoulder as he looked Severus directly in the eyes with a genuine happy and appreciative look. "Well done friend."

Regulus also nodded, capturing Severus's eyes. "I am pretty sure she's just very proud of you." he spoke about Penelope, it was clear as day. "She would have been so happy."

"I know for a fact she's proud of you." Severus told him softly. "And she asked me to tell you to have a good life and just be happy, she'll be mad at you if you don't make the most of it. She wants us to let go."

First Regulus looked stunned at him, but then he smiled. "Thanks." he nodded.

"Severus!" Diane firmly grabbed his hand to shake it. "You make one proud to be a Slytherin!" she stated. "All of us!" she gestured at all the students crowding them.

"Mr Snape?" it was now a teacher fighting his way, along side several others. Both Slughorn and McGonagall and all of the others. "I never been so proud of a student in my life." Slughorn grinned. And people continued crowding and thanking, it was so loud and so quick Severus had little chance to respond or even registre what had been said. It quite frankly started to hurt his head, his only life line being Lily whom his continued clutching close.

"ALL RIGHT THAT'S IT!" Lily suddenly shouted. "OUT OF THE WAY! GIVE US SPACE!" she demanded, and pushed people aside to pull Severus with her. He was thankfull for that, after all this, he suddenly felt completely drained for energi, but Lily quickly found the cure for that. "Your mine now Severus Snape!" she stated and then pulled him down in a kiss, to much cheer around them, Severus pulling her in.

"NO!" Bellatrix screamed as she threw herself over the body of Voldemort. "It's not possible! WHAT DID YOU DO YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Bellatrix yelled at Severus.

Severus coldly returned her look. "I gave him way more mercy than he deserves, than what I would have wanted to give him, but that is what would make a dear friend of mine happy, I gave him a way to salvage his damaged soul in the life beyond does he take the chance, though I doubt he will, he could not withstand the pain, so he chose the easy way out, he chose to give up! He was weak!"

"LIAR!" Bellatrix screamed back at Severus as tears streamed down her eyes and she tried to draw her wand. "THE DARK LORD IS POWER!"

"It's over Lerstrange." McGonagall aprahended her from behind, and all of the other death eaters also seemed to be cornered. "To Azkaban with you, Horace." She nodded at Slughorn. "Be kind enough to contact the ministry and the auror office will you?" she asked. "The rest." She smiled brightly. "I believe we can all be excuses tomorrow."

Many didn't have to get that quoi twice, and soon the castle was ringing in a loud party, everyone collected in the great hall, dancing on the tables, drinking butterbear and holding each others shoulders, the Black, Potter, Petigrew and Lieve leading the way with their new song.

* * *

_"Voldy Voldy, you slimy sack!_

_A coward, git and a prat. _

_Severus our champion he's the man._

_Who can beat Voldy? He can!" _

They sang on the top of their lungs, many following in so it rang in the great hall.

It was so ridicoulus and out there that Severus couldn't help but laugh at it, the entire situation was unreal, and there was no other way to go around it than just laugh his lungs out, for the entire evening his arm only rarely left Lily shoulder, and he was the person of honour that day as of now of all places he sat by the end of the blooming Gryffindor table, his arms firmly around Lily's shoulder, her head resting proudly on his chest, and Severus feeling a sprining bubbling sense of happiness he had never tried before.

"I wish we could be like this forever." Lily sighed.

Severus couldn't help but grin as he sueezed her shoulder. "Me to." He told. "I love you Lily."

"Love you to." She said.

"Jamsie bear." Diane crashed down on Potter and embraced him.

"Diane!" James grinned as he manouvered her over on his legs. "You know, there is something I have been meaning to tell you for a while, and I thought this might as well be as good as time as ever."

"Oh?" Diane asked.

"I bloody love you! You're the prettiest coolest girl I ever met." He flat out stated.

"Oh Jamsie." The other wise always boyish Diane now even seemed to blush deep red in a girlish manner.

"Oh merlin bless you Severus." James grinned broudly after having finished a kiss with Diane. "If it weren't for you, I would never have dated Diane… because.."

"because I am a sleashy Slytherin?" Diane asked with a lifted eyebrow.

"urh.. hehe." James gulped embarrassed.

"You will always be a brain dead brawny lion, you know that right?" Diane asked.

"Well, admit it, that's how you like me." James said.

"Your so right." And Diane bowed down to kiss him again.

Lieve chuckled loudly from her posistion as she sat close up of Remus, his arm around her shoulder, and she very deliberately leaned against him which Remus didn't seemed to mind at all. He even ruffled up her hair so it became even more messed up than it all ready was, making Lieve's chuckle evolve to a laugh before she reached up and took hold of his ear, making Remus grimace before she finally let go.

Peter laughed openly as he leaned his head in his hands beside them.

There was even in a sparkle in Regulus's eyes all though he seemed to be sitting quite alone in front of James and beside Lily.. though there was space enough.

"Excuse me." A girl very nervously tripped on her feet's.

Surprised Regulus turned around to see a hufflepuff student standing there, one of the phoenix fighters, it was Leila Dickenson a nice looking muggleborn witch with long curly almost fluffy light brown hair, amber brown eyes and a few freckles, she stood there in her canary yellow uniform looking nervously at Regulus.

"Yeas." Regulus asked politely.

"I just wanted to say." Leila pulled some curls behind her ear. "That you were really brave, and.. and I'm really glad to see you happy again.. " she mumbled nervously.

"Thank you." Regulus blinket a little stunned, Leila had always been very shy and nervouse, it was honestly a surprise she had collected the courage to talk to them, and it made Regulus nervouse to know this. "I didn't do much though, it was all them." He gestured out at everyone sitting with him. Remus, Live, James, Diane and Severus and Lily of case.

"I don't think so though." Quickly Leila sat down beside, probably just because she was afraid of dropping if she stood up any longer, Regulus, though looked down on the table as her head was becoming more read by the second. "Well.. yeah you all did but.. you all did which means it was also you.. you know.. I mean.. urh."

Regulus couldn't help but smile. "I know what you mean, we all helped. Butterbear?" he finally asked. "Or you should try some of this mead, it's actually really good."

Leila at once brightened up. "Thank you! I would like that."

Regulus almost toppled over several glasses in his haste to simply pour up the butterbear, while Leila succeded exstremely badly in hiding her grin, making Regulus blush even harder and making him even more clumsy.

"Oh this is just not fair!" Sirius as always just crashed the party as he bombarded them, sitting down between James who still at Diane on his knee and Lieve who was leaning against Remus. "I am the most popular dude in school and I am the only one without a lady!" he grumped.

"I don't have a girl either." Peter shrugged.

"What about that fifth your Gryfindor what's her name.." Sirius asked.

"Emily, and she was pretty annoying." Peter shrugged.

"Regardless." Sirius snorted. "I as most handsome boy in school, should have a date! It's not fair!"

"Ye could ask Sabrina." Lieve suggested.

"Tried, the girl said it was puppy love and would never have worked anyway." He sighed almost laying down at the table. Suddenly Sirius captured the look of a groupe of girls not standing far away, stealing looks from their table. "Hah, what did I say!" Sirius straightened up. "Still got it, most popular dude in school." He waved at them.

"I think you should reconsider that." James rolled his eyes.

"Oh?" Sirius asked.

Lily smirked. "Those girls have been standing there the last half hour trying to steal glances at _my_ boy friend."

Sirius's face fell. "You?" he looked at Severus.

"I don't understand it either." Severus shrugged.

"pff." Lieve let out. "Saviour of the wizarding world? Come on, stuff like that does attract attention, we all saw ye not only killing tha bastard, but making e'm cry and scream as a baby as well, ye are the coolest bloke in the country."

"Lieve, languet." Remus asked of her a little defeated.

"Well, e was a bastard." Lieve pouted.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yeah.." he sighed. "Yeah he was."

Regulus chuckled. "Lets be honest Lily, it's not because of Severus's good looks that he suddenly have groupies." He shrugged, making Severus lift an eyebrow and Sirius and James snicker down in their hands, Remus and Lieve being the only ones who blatantly laughed out in the open, not bothering to hide their amusement while poor Leila as the only one outside of the groupe blushed deeply while looking down.

"Well I think it is." Lily stated, and everyone could see how it made Severus smile.

"So my looks is okay but my mind doesn't matter?" Severus asked

"Stop that." Lily cheated him.

"Have I told you that I love you?" Severus asked.

"Around a gazillion times all right." Lily snorted. "I get it, you love me." She kissed him on the cheek. "Now get this, I love you to, and lets be done with it."

"Well, if you don't need the girls I might as well take them." Sirius straightened up.

Regulus looked hopelessly at Leila. "If anyone asks, I am not related to him."

Sirius rolled her eyes. "I think you would run into a problem hiding that fact." He told them. "Face it bro, our good looks are identical, now when we are both adults we could might as well have been twins."

"Oh believe me, it's in looks only." Lieve commented dryly. "I spend enough time with each of ya thank ye, Regulus is no fun at all while Sirius never gets anything done because he is to big of a mess!"

"You're the one speaking." Sirius crossed his arms.

"She's right you know." Remus smiled amused.

Peter nodded. "You're a mess."

"That's what happens when you're a mutt." Severus merely shrugged.

"Don't get started Severus." Lieve warned. "Your even less fun than Regulus. hm" Lieve looked thoughtful out in the air. "Considering that your house is supposedly the house of evil, your really boring people, six years and no one have created a goalish creature to terrorise the school."

"I don't know." Diane mussed. "I mean, in comparison my life was really boring before I learned to know Severus better."

"And then you learned to now me." James stated.

"True to that." Diane rolled her eyes. "Though, I still conquor Severus is the least boring person I ever met, do you even think it's possible for you to live on single normal day?" she asked Severus.

"Definetely." Severus answered.

"I propose a toast." James announced as he filled up a glass. "For frienship, for all of us being different, being individuals and still being comrades in what ever lays ahead, for a long happy life to all of us, who thought and won." He held his goblet towards Severus. "For peace."

Severus raised his own goblet towards James, and gave a small nod and a smirk.

And so Sirius, Peter, Remus, Lieve, Regulus, Diane, Leila and Lily did the same. "For happiness and peace."

Severus couldn't help it, never in his life would he be able to imagine this scenary.. not ever. Him in the middle, Lily by his side. James Potter and his Slytherin girl friend on his other side, Sirius Black, the werewolf and a old schooled weird irish Rawenclaw, the little rat who maybe wasn't such a rat afterall. Regulus Black and his muggleborn hufflepuff date. And yet, nothing had ever seemed to make so good sense, or seemed to be so perfect for Severus, never had he felt so through and through happy, about everything, about being alive. And the night whent one, with much yelling and celebration, until the sun rose and Severus could barely sta awake any longer. Both destroying the one thing that have been controlling all of your life and been the ultimate threat the wizarding world, reclaiming everything you ever wanted in life and party it out did take a lot out of a person and he was embarrassed to find that he was almost leaning towards Lily using her as main support as they tried to find their way out of the great hall pass all the still partying people.

"Come on then." Lily gestured. "I bet you havn't slept in a bed for months."

"You know me to well." Severus acknowledged. "I know there's guest quarters this way, there should be beds there."

Lily nodded. "Sounds perfect." and they followed each other to the spare rooms, which were always kept ready for any guests, Severus smiled warmly by the sight, and just managed to sit down to remove his shoes and the outer robe, before laying down on his back.. and then he suddenly saw Lily move closer.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked.

"Laying down." Lily told him as she true enough laid down beside him and pulled the blanket up around the both of them, before huddling into him. "I am pretty tired to." she told him. "Will be nice to finally sleep probably."

Severus sighed, as she laid so close to him, her face so close to his. "I honestly never thought I should see the day." he told her. "It's weird." he slipped his hand through her hair. "It was always, looking out for it, prepare for it. And now he's gone." he cherished her chin. "He was the one thing always controlling my life, so what do I do now?"

She smiled softly at him. "What ever you want." she told him. "Time to take your price, which is what ever you want."

"I have everything I want." he looked at her. "So what do I do?"

"We figure something out." Lily shrugged. "It maybe be a little boring by comparison, but we'll make do."

"I can do with boring." Severus nodded. "Most differently."

Lily rose an eyebrow. "Really? I honestly wouldn't have guessed." she smirked a teasing grin. "Admit it, you like a little excitement."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Had enough for twenty life times thank you."

"You might have a point there." she yawned. "Lets just see what the future brings." and she closed her eyes, leaning her head against his chest, embarrassed Severus's arm crept around her and he pulled her in as he felt the exhaustion falling over him. "Just remember, you promised never to let go again." She whispered snuggling closer into his arms.

"I will keep that promise." Severus murmered leaning his head forward, resting it towards her hair as he held her warm body, the greatest treasure in the world, laying in his arms, and she was safe, she didn't needed protecting from an evil force. A warm darkness came over his mind as he listened to Lily's rhythmical breathing, he felt so warm and peaceful, happy and floating, light as a feather as the darkness took him. And he knew, for the first time in a long time, he was allowed to rest.

Everything was well.


	71. Epioluge

"Never in my life Lily, never." Severus murmured as they wandered together through the warm hall ways, Severus with an arm around her shoulder and she smiling. "Could I ever have imagined actually being invited to Potters wedding."

"Sev, when are you going to start call him James?" Lily asked. "That is his name you know."

"When people stop calling me to get dumb things like this fixed." Severus responded.

"That is never going to happen." Lily lifted an eyebrow and then her eyes widened. "oh." smirking she shook her head. "Your impossible." she smiled. "Remember I am going with Lieve, Claire and Emmeline to plan Dianes bachelorette party Friday."

"I remember." Severus sighed. "I and Remus also decided to use that evening to be done with our experiment." he told. "Now that you and Lieve are out anyway."

"Oh that's great." Lily smiled as they reached the door. "So.." she hesitated. "Any idea why we were called in?" she asked.

"No." Severus answered. "the ministry just loves keeping their audience in suspense." he rolled his eyes as he opened the door.

"Ah, Severus! Lily!" McGonagall welcomed in light smile on the other side of the door. "Thank you for taking the time to come."

"Sir." Lily greeted.

"Please Lily." McGonagall frowned in a strict frown. "Call me McGonagall, I'm no longer your teacher."

"What is it Minerva?" Severus at last asked in a impatient tone.

McGonagall sighed, clearly deeply frustrated. "The ministry wanted to rub this off on me, said I should hide it on the school. But I don't want it, I just try to find out what else to do with it." She gestured towards a large item and pulled off the cloth which had covered it to reveal at food tall mirror. "I just assumed since you is what can only be considered an expert, you could have an idea what to do with this thing." McGonagall sighed. "It recently caused a lot of trouble, I personally thought it was may time just to destroy it but the department of mysteries refuses on the same note as not wanting to safe keep it, so what do we do?"

"The mirror of erise." Severus's eyebrows flew up. "

McGonagall sighed as she nodded her head. "Indeed." She murmured a little annoyed.

Curiously Lily moved closer to the mirror, as Severus's arm was still around her shoulder he ended up following. "Lily be careful." he instructed her. "That mirror can be dangerous."

Lily stopped up, and then looked up at him. "Not to dangerous is it?" she asked.

"Well.." Severus hesitated, and he looked up to see directly into the mirror, what he hadn't counted on however was that it was placed in a ankle that allowed him to see his own direct reflection and was now confronted by it, astounded Severus looked at it, blinking a couple of times, still with his arm around Lily he walked even closer to stand right in front of it. "Merlin." he whispered clutching Lily a little tighter.

"What is it?" Lily asked.

Severus swallowed trying to dry his throat. "The happiest most content man in the world, will see nothing but himself in the mirror, looking precisely as he does, no more.. no less." Severus waved a hand in front of the mirror and then looked at Lily. "Either it's broke or I just don't understand, it doesn't seem to be anything but an ordinary mirror to me!" he exclaimed looking back at it. "It's just us! It's just a mirror."

"No." McGonagall lifted an eyebrow. "It is most certainly the Mirror of erised." she told. "Trust me, I know."

"Sev it is." Lily smiled as she watched into the mirror.

Severus gazed down on the beauty as she smiled warmly looking at the mirror. "What do you see?" he asked.

"Somewhat the same as you." she trailed of. "The two of us.. all though." she blushed deeply. "There's someone else there to."

"Who?" Severus asked concerned. "Lily is…" he swallowed.

"It's not someone either of us have met... yet." she kept back her smile as biting her lip. "Though, that is going to fix itself, don't worry."

"Lily.. I don't understand.. What are you saying?" Severus asked bewildered.

Slowly Lily raised a hand to rest it on her stomach, and then she looked at Severus. "Sev.." she whispered. "I'm also only seeing people all ready standing in front of the mirror, though the third one is not as big yet."

Astounded Severus looked at her. "No.. you don't mean?"

Slowly Lily nodded while biting her lip, her eyes looking up at him.

Severus was lost for words, his throat was so dry and he was just completely out of it.

"Sev.. please say something." Lily begged.

"Lily! I'm not father material, I am terrible with children! What if I can't love him? I wasn't able to love your child once before!" he panicked. "What if he is afraid of me? Children just are!"

"Sev, relax." Lily demanded of him. "You are going over this all wrong, you are going to be a wonderful father."

"Lily, you should know me by now!" he told her. "I can't do people!"

"Yes you can, as long as you like them enough." Lily told him. "And you are going to love this child." she took his hand to press it against her flat stomach, only for Severus to realise it was not entirely as flat as a month ago. "I mean look at that mirror, you said all you saw is just the two of us as we are now, so everything is fine."

Warily Severus looked back at the mirror, and his mouth dropped open as he starred wide eyed at it.. "It's a girl.." he whispered, a new kind of emotions unlike anything he had ever felt before nodded together in his chest. "Lily, it's a girl!" he took himself to the head. "And I always thought it would be a boy."

"I know it's a girl." Lily chuckled. "We are seeing the same thing… you're fine with it's girl right?" she then asked rather nervously.

"Fine with it?" Severus asked Looking into the mirror, was the mirror image of Severus and Lily, just as they were.. though between them, and Severus couldn't help stare, just taking the child in, she was very young, under the age of eleven still in the mirror, And she was absolutely beautiful! The intense feeling in Severus's chest was suddenly to big, and spread out in his body, though still just as intense, and still unlike anything he had ever experienced as he just watched the beautiful girl, drinking in the sight not able to get enough, She had a very delicate thin build, her nose just slightly longer than normal, but it didn't make her look ugly in anyway, if anything it made her look magical, mysterious and exotic, her skin was moonlight pale, her black smooth hair fell down her frail shoulders and her askew brilliant green eyes shined with intelligence, already now seemed like all sorts of things going on inside of her mind despite that her she didn't move much, just smirked slightly as she stood upright.

"Am I fine with it?" he asked ones more. "She's.." Severus tried to drink in the sight. "Lily she's perfect! I wouldn't want her to be any different!"

And then suddenly, another one slightly smaller and slightly younger squeezed in between them and flashed a grin towards them, and then grabbed her sisters hand, cause they had to be sisters, though this other one was less exotic and less mysterious, also she had black hair and green eyes, but her features was only like a mini version of Lily, and equally beautiful to the first one, though as the first ones hair was straight this was wavy, as the older seemed unearthly and mysterious this younger one seemed earth bound and full of energy, though both equally passionate in each the way. She seemed to be simply filled with that uncontrolled energy that little one, her hair and clothes even slightly messy as the elder ones was straight and orderly, and the older one annoyed shoot her a glare at her little sister only have the youngest flash a big grin in return.

"Lily do you see that?" Severus asked.

Lily openly laughed as the younger annoyed the older one to no end, and the two sisters snapped at each other, until at last the elder one gave into a smirk. "Sev." she whispered. "Yes."

"Lily they are so perfect." he told her. "Are you sure that we.. That I am able to give.. you know.. what they need."

"Sev you dumbass." She kissed him on the cheek. "You are seeing them in the bloody mirror of erised! You want them! The moment you got the slightest notion it could be happening you found out you wanted it! you love them."

Vaguely Severus noticed they were alone in the room, McGonagall had left them to this special moment a good while ago apparently. "I guess." he breathed as he pulled Lily even closer. "They are so beautiful." He whispered mezmerised by the two girls. "I hope neither of them get any of my sallovness with age"

"You haven't looked the least bit sallov the last four years." Lily told him. "And just look at them, your right they are beautiful!" she looked at him. "What is their names?" she asked.

Severus brushed the mirror where the older one stood, now trying to talk to the younger one. "Can." he wettened his lips. "Can it be Eileen?" he asked. "I just wouldn't have been here at all if it wasn't for her, And she should be a flower." his hand drew to the younger one. "Like all the women in your family."

"She is most definitely Eileen." Lily looked at the older one. "Eileen Iris Snape." she decided. "After my granma." she smiled.

"It's perfect." Severus resonated. "What about her." he looked at the younger one and then lifted an eyebrow. "She seems quite the trouble maker to me."

"Violet." Lily then said. "Violet Penelope Snape."

"Wish we could leave that last part out though.." Severus hesitated.

"I thought you were to old to worry about last names." Lily lifted an eyebrow.

"It doesn't matter to me." Severus tried to explain. "But it's not exactly a pretty name, not pretty enough for girls like them." He looked at the two girls and then looked at Lily. ".. or.. you know."

"I like it." Lily told him. "in fact I think I want it." she smirked. "Lily Snape, sounds good in my ear."

Defeated Severus smiled widely as he shook his head. "I should probably do something about that shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, this is absolutely not the conventional way to go about it." Lily raised an eyebrow. "Your supposed to surprise me you know." She smirked. "romantic dinner, down on your knee, that sort of stuff."

"And you really believe I would go down on my knee?" Severus asked with a lifted eyebrow.

Lily chuckled. "It would make me a bit worried.. Obviously." She shook her head. "So what are you going to do?" she asked wrapping her arms around Severus's neck.

"Ask if you want to go down to hogsmead with me, right now, and pick out a ring."

Lily blushed deeply looking down. "Try again." She muttered. "You can do better than that."

"Lily." Severus stepped closer and kissed her on the forhead. "I love you so much, with all of my heart, I always have and I always will, and I think I really do love Eileen and Violet to." he lightly held her waist. "You're the most beautiful, kindest, righteous, strong willed person I have ever known, and I just love everything about you, I want you and no one else I just want to be with you every last second of the day, every single day of my life, it makes my life so full and me so happy." He smiled down at her. "Would you do the honour of going with me down to hogsmeade, find a ring, and eventually, marry me? Lily… will you be my wife?"

"Unconventional." Lily raised an eyebrow. "But perfect." she smiled fondly at him before dragging him down to a deep kiss.

As they ended Severus smiled down at her. "Was that a yes?" he asked.

"Of cause it was." Lily smiled brightly. "We are going to spend the rest of our lives together, you an I."

The happiest most content man in the world would see nothing but himself, as he was in the mirror of erised, that around him being nothing more or less than what he already had.

The count if people who would ever be able to only see themselves as themselves in that mirror is small, in fact.. no one have ever been recorded to only see themselves in it.

No one but Severus Snape.

* * *

_AN; So.. that was it.. the end people. _

_I am sorry for the 'rushed' ending, and that I didn't have the surplus to finish probably, I ran dry in the story. _

_But let me assure you all, I ALWAYS intended to end this story this very way, and these last few chapters, has been on my computer from the almost beginning, meaning.. this chapter was literately written years ago! Only very few details changed. _

_And I know what happens with all of them now, it's a bit of a fluffy ending, but what do you want? _

_Lily and Severus got married and had two daughters, Eileen and Violet. _

_Lily became a lawyer in the ministry of magic, and Severus sold special powerful brews and became acknowledged as an expert in dark objects, thus could be called out to examine newly discovered objects. _

_James and Diane also got married, and got a child on their own, Charles Potter, whom looks and behaves exactly like James. _

_At first when getting out of Hogwarts, James and Diane became professional quidditch players, but James eventually retired to become an Auror, Diane continued her Quidditch carrier and became a Quidditch trainers ones she was to old for the field. _

_Regulus started to work in the ministry, and eventually worked himself up in a higher position, he eventually got famous for his fight for muggle rights, and the ideas that Wizards should all interact more with muggles on the muggles ground. _

_He ended up spending quite a deal of time travelling muggle cities and talking to muggles in person, encouring other wizards to do the same, eventually he got issued obligatory school trips to the muggle world, where wizard children has to visit muggle museums and restaurants. _

_He got married with a muggle-born, and had one child, a boy called Octavos Black. _

_While Lieve finished the last year of Hogwarts, Remus failed finding a job and had to life for free by James's and Sirius's place. _

_After Lieve finished Hogwarts, the two travelled to Iceland where they together studied magical animals up close. _

_They attempted to earn money by collecting rare magical plants and animal products, but due to Remus's werewolf condition, no one desired to buy their protects. _

_Except for Severus, whom was impressed by their quality, and they became Severus's main supplier, securing that Severus's brews would be unique and the best to get any-where. _

_At their journey, Lieve and Remus ended up writing two books together, entitled; _

_"Creatures from Iceland in their natural habitat." And. "My life as a werewolf, and other stories from half-breeds." _

_The latter one containing Remus's biography and interviews with other werewolfs and half breeds. _

_Knowing full well that the latter book would course a stir and change their lifes for-ever, Remus stated he would not have had to courage to write it without Lieves support, and wished for them to be published as Mr. and Mrs. So every-one could see that they stood together, and it was possible for a werewolf to love some-one else. _

_Lieve accepted and they got married. _

_Eventually they stopped travelling to move to a little house by the English country-side, where they still could earn money by collecting potion supplies, and raise their two children. Derrick (After Lieves late father.) and Susie Lupin. _

_Their book made them famouse, and their connection to Regulus, and Severus ensured them even more influence over time, as they tried to change the way halfbreeds were treated, Regulus would always be a very vocal supporter of their cause, and remained close friends with Lieve, always spending holidays with her and Remus rather than his own family. Even as they all settled and got children, they still brought every-one together for holidays. _

_As Remus would also invite James, Peter and Sirius.. the parties could become extremely big. _

_Sirius, though getting many girl-friends, some of them lasting in pretty long relationships, never got any children. _

_His carrier as an Auror though, was successful. And he adores his many "Nephews" and "Nieces." _

_Peter got a comfortable ministry job, and settled comfortable with wife and three children; Clarice, Laura and Casper Pettigrew. _


End file.
